/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Barudak: May 7, 2007

If you know one thing about me its that cats despise my very essence to the point where I have begun a nuclear weapons program to deter them and I even I think cat euthanizer is wrong.

Do you hear me cats??? I defended you!

Barudak fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Oct 6, 2017

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:20

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 16:38

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Outrail posted:

But there's enough irresponsible owners that I don't think it's worth it.

90% of dog owners are irresponsible fucks that don't properly train them, and there's an even bigger contingent of people who don't understand why backyard breeding dogs is bad, but that's not the dog's fault.

The answer is hating irresponsible owners, not the animal.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:21

Waterbed Wendy: Jan 29, 2009

Outrail posted:

I like the ~200 native animals more than I like the cat that eats them.

What I really mean is I typically like the average cat, but I hate cats. If it's neutered and kept indoors then sure fine. But there's enough irresponsible owners that I don't think it's worth it.

Also they make me sneeze. And my comfort comes before everything and everyone else. gently caress you.

seek professional help

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:22

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Waterbed Wendy posted:

seek professional help

Wrong thread for that bucko.

Anyway, I've been forced to cohabitate with cats for the last six months and sometimes they sit near me and I let them and don't wish death apon them. I give the little one an ice block in the mornings. They've probably given me the toxoplasmosis. Does that make you happier?

Death to foxes.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:33

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My girlfriend [25F] of 2 years gets mad at me [27M] if I try to "stock up" on anything and will throw it out. How do we work through this

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together two years (known her for 4), moved in together a few months ago. Our relationships is normally great, except for one small thing:

My girlfriend kind of flies through life on the seat of her pants. She has never kept in sort of reserve of supplies, or planned for something in advance, nothing.

For example, she doesn't keep things like spare toothbrushes around. She has her toothbrush, and then a week or so before she needs to change it she will go and buy one more toothbrush. I've always bought those packs of like 5 or 6 because it tends to be cheaper, and then I keep it tucked away under the sink. I did this a couple weeks ago, and she got really irritated, said I was taking up space, and then she changed her toothbrush like once a week until the package was gone. It's the same thing with anything else. Printer paper? We have one ream. Dishes? We have exactly 5 plates, cups, bowls, and sets of silverware.

We live on an island in a hurricane prone area, so I like to keep an emergency supply kit. She does, too. My kit has 3 pairs of underwear, two changes of clothes, some canned food, a few rolls of toilet paper, a flashlight with batteries, and a pretty extensive first aid kit. I have this in a box that I keep tucked away in the attic. Her kit? It's a backpack with one pair of underwear, one shirt, a small packet of Kleenex ("it's toilet paper in a pinch!"), a flashlight with one change of batteries, one tampon, and a minimal first aid kit.

When we go on a trip together...if it's 5 days, she will pack 5 pairs of underwear, 5 pairs of socks, 5 shirts, and maybe one or two extra pairs of pants depending on the weather/what we're doing. I always think it's a good idea to at least take an extra pair of underwear and socks, because what if you're flight gets cancelled? What if (for her, not me) you get your period unexpectedly? What if you step in a puddle? She always says she'll deal with it if it happens, but it's not likely.

There are a lot of other things that I can embellish on if needed, but I want to keep this short. My problem is...it absolutely wrecks my nerves the way she just goes with the flow and counts on everything turning out alright. When we were packing our hurricane kits for this summer, I specifically commented on her packing one tampon. I said that if she was on her period I didn't think that would cut it. She said it would tie her over until she got to the store. Sure...but the point of the kit is in case of a disaster. And our island isn't that big, so if our house is hosed, chances the store is, too, you know? That's just one example, but I feel like that about a lot of things.

How can I learn to live with this? Is there any way to get her to see my side of things? Is this a big deal, or should I just get over it?

tl;dr: Girlfriend never prepares for anything, and says she'll deal with problems/disasters when they come up. She won't even keep more than one extra roll of toilet paper in the bathroom at a time. How do I live like that as a much more cautious person?

quote:

And that's seriously all I'm talking about.

I don't want piles and piles of useless crap. But come on, she prints on average over 100 papers and documents a week. You know you're going to use the paper, so when you see a buy one get one sale at Walmart, stock up! Don't buy hundreds, but 3 or 4 to be neatly stacked under the desk? That's not crazy. That's saving money and being prepared for the inevitable.

Or, like, we eat cereal most mornings. She always puts milk on her coffee. So when we go to the grocery store, buy a loving gallon! Stop going to the corner store every day on your way home and picking up just enough milk for the next morning and maybe a big extra. That's just wasteful and expensive.

quote:

She used one toothbrush a week until a multipack was gone. And she does that with anything I try to stock up on. So technically she's not "wasting" it, but yeah...she is.

Like, if I buy a 12 pack of paper towels because I know we use them for various things? Suddenly she uses them for everything, and that 12 pack is gone in a month. Sale on chicken so I buy extra with the intent to freeze it? We have chicken for the rest of the week. But a large box of paper instead of one tiny ream, since I know she'll use it? Suddenly she needs to practice her origami skills.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:44

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Stock up on another girlfriend, jeez.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:53

UZR IS BULLSHIT: Jan 25, 2004

That woman who wanted her bf to euthanize his cat belongs on a watchlist, I'm 100% sure that someday I'm gonna read an article about her killing her kids and then herself

# ? Oct 6, 2017 02:59

Propaganda Hour: Aug 25, 2008; after editing wikipedia as a joke for 16 years, i ve convinced myself that homer simpson's japanese name translates to the "The beer goblin"

We need a term for the inverse of a prepper.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Propaganda Hour posted:

We need a term for the inverse of a prepper.

Hurricane Victims

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:01

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Haifisch posted:

My girlfriend [25F] of 2 years gets mad at me [27M] if I try to "stock up" on anything and will throw it out. How do we work through this

quote:
But a large box of paper instead of one tiny ream, since I know she'll use it? Suddenly she needs to practice her origami skills.

I'm envisioning a really pissed off dude just surrounded by lovely paper cranes.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:09

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

About 40% of pet owners agree with the woman who'd rather euthanize than spend $600
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/how-much-would-you-spend-on-a-sick-pet/?_r=0

It's a hard argument because even if you love cats, that $600 could go a lot farther to spay/neuter/vaccinate/fix a lot of smaller problems for a lot of other cats.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:21

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Anne Whateley posted:

About 40% of pet owners agree with the woman who'd rather euthanize than spend $600
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/how-much-would-you-spend-on-a-sick-pet/?_r=0

It's a hard argument because even if you love cats, that $600 could go a lot farther to spay/neuter/vaccinate/fix a lot of smaller problems for a lot of other cats.

Sure, sure, but the cat isn't sick, she just wanted it dead.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:25

Sentient Data: Aug 31, 2011; My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!

The owner said vet, but that was actually a lie and it was really a kitty/daddy spa day with pedicures and massages and headrubs and sashimi for both

300/ea probably pays for some herb, too

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:27

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

Anne Whateley posted:

About 40% of pet owners agree with the woman who'd rather euthanize than spend $600
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/how-much-would-you-spend-on-a-sick-pet/?_r=0

It's a hard argument because even if you love cats, that $600 could go a lot farther to spay/neuter/vaccinate/fix a lot of smaller problems for a lot of other cats.

Am I understanding this correctly? A person shouldn't spend 600 on a beloved pet because that money could be better spent on... other animals?

My kid needed chemo, but you know, I just figured "why save him, when that money would buy braces for literally dozens of children?"

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:46

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

if you can't drop several hundred dollars to care for your pet don't get a gd pet.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 03:48

ranbo das: Oct 16, 2013

I mean you could just get another cat for way less than $600

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:02

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Barudak posted:

Sure, sure, but the cat isn't sick, she just wanted it dead.

quote:

I was surprised he'd spend $600 on a vet bill, I figured putting the cat down would be cheaper.

Slugworth posted:

Am I understanding this correctly? A person shouldn't spend 600 on a beloved pet because that money could be better spent on... other animals?

My kid needed chemo, but you know, I just figured "why save him, when that money would buy braces for literally dozens of children?"

I'm not saying should for anyone else. For me it would depend a lot on the situation, like is the cat young and the cost is for a surgery that would totally fix the issue for the rest of its life? Or is the cat old and has other issues and the cost will only buy a few more months?

It's also changed a lot in the last 20ish years. I don't think my parents would ever have spent $500+ on a vet bill. When my childhood cats got old and got cancer, there was zero talk of chemo; I don't think the vet even brought it up. It was just "well, here's palliatives, see how long there's quality of life" and then euthanasia. But now on my facebook feed there are a ton of gofundmes for $1k/month for cat chemo, and it seems like that's the new norm. It's a pretty huge difference.

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

if you can't drop several hundred dollars to care for your pet don't get a gd pet.

I agree if it were like $100-200, but $600 is in a different league imo. Where do you draw the line below which people don't deserve pets? $1k? $10k chemo?

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:03

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Depends how old the cat is. If you're putting a 14 year old cat through intensive chemo and generally making its life he'll just to squeeze out another year or two then that's kinda cruel.

If it's five years old and has a good prognosis sure why not.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:12

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:

That woman who wanted her bf to euthanize his cat belongs on a watchlist, I'm 100% sure that someday I'm gonna read an article about her killing her kids and then herself

She's not going to kill herself. She'll look confused when the police show up and calmly explain that she just did the rational thing.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:13

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:

if you can't drop several hundred dollars to care for your pet don't get a gd pet.

Working class people don't deserve pets

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:20

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

fruit on the bottom posted:

Working class people don't deserve pets

Nobody deserves pets, they are too good for us.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:24

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Bubblyblubber posted:

Nobody deserves pets, they are too good for us.

I've seen enough Sara McLachlan commercials to know this is true.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 04:25

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Doggles posted:

My [25F] boyfriend [27M] of a year has a cat and the way he treats it bothers me.

[Update] My [25F] boyfriend [27M] of a year has a cat and the way he treats it bothers me.

This lady owns.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:00

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

The Lone Badger posted:

She's not going to kill herself. She'll look confused when the police show up and calmly explain that she just did the rational thing.

The children stopped performing their agreed-upon utilities. It's in the contract.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 05:51

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I bet she grew up on a farm. Not to rag on farm people but she is the rural version of those people who can't handle it when someone from the farm does the humane thing to a mortally wounded animal.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:00

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

fruit on the bottom posted:

I bet she grew up on a farm. Not to rag on farm people but she is the rural version of those people who can't handle it when someone from the farm does the humane thing to a mortally wounded animal.

nah, farmers are waaay warmer than this. They do what they have to, but they care for their animals.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:05

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Pick posted:

That's really not the fault of the cat. It's sort of like how I like spiders, but house law is that a spider in my house is subject to either ejection or death depending on its location and size. Nothing against the spiders, and I'd never say I hate a spider, but a spider in my bed must be destroyed.

So how often do you wake up and accidentally smash your own hand?

[NJ] My neighbor is a real piece of work. I don't even want to get into it. When she leaves for work her parrot screeches me awake so I've been yelling suck my you know what through the walls

quote:

Well it started parroting it and so my neighbor thinks its me but she doesn't have any proof. Can she sue me since she can't prove I did it? The parrot says a lot of other things too some from neighbors television. She sometimes leaves it on so it could be that too.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:33

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Anne Whateley posted:

About 40% of pet owners agree with the woman who'd rather euthanize than spend $600
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/09/how-much-would-you-spend-on-a-sick-pet/?_r=0

It's a hard argument because even if you love cats, that $600 could go a lot farther to spay/neuter/vaccinate/fix a lot of smaller problems for a lot of other cats.

Yeah but we're talking about my cat. Sort of like if my mother needed $10,000 surgery and someone was like "you know, that $10,000 could save a lot more people in Haiti. Why not let your mom die and help them instead?" i'd be like "woah wot th gently caress mate"

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:33

Trauma Dog 3000: Aug 30, 2017; by SA Support Robot

Pick posted:

Yeah but we're talking about my cat. Sort of like if my mother needed $10,000 surgery and someone was like "you know, that $10,000 could save a lot more people in Haiti. Why not let your mom die and help them instead?" i'd be like "woah wot th gently caress mate"

I would kill any number of children to help my cat

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

In the course of his life my cat has needed well over $3,000 in surgery due to him being a silly billy (no cancer) and that's fine and he owns, also I love my cat :shrug:

I would go without food before I'd let my cat go hungry.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:37

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Pick posted:

Yeah but we're talking about my cat. Sort of like if my mother needed $10,000 surgery and someone was like "you know, that $10,000 could save a lot more people in Haiti. Why not let your mom die and help them instead?" i'd be like "woah wot th gently caress mate"

Yeah, I mean you're just throwing away a thousand re-regs right there.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 06:37

Anony Mouse: Jan 30, 2005; A name means nothing on the battlefield. After a week, no one has a name.; Lipstick Apathy

My girlfriend [24F] dumped me because I [26] wanted evidence of her lab results. Want her back. Please help.

quote:

Hi Reddit,
I have a huge issue here and I can't tell who's in the wrong..

So I have been dating my girlfriend Jasmine for about 3 years now. We've had some pretty bad rough spots recently, right after doing good for a while. That seems to be the pattern with us. Anyways, we have been having some issues the last few weeks regarding job hours and time for us as a couple and feeling like I'm not getting any quality time with her because she has been working overtime a little bit these past few weeks. We haven't been really speaking these past few days.

Well last week, she had a doctor's appointment to get a pap smear. She's kind of always had issues with her reproductive system (missed periods, cramps, pain in general). Well she went in today to pick up some medication for a separate issue and to talk about her results, and the doctor apparently told her that her test results were precancerous. She said the term was something like "low grade intro epithelial lesion". Since we weren't talking, she just kind of popped into my room and told me in a monotone voice and just left.

So I went out to talk to her to get more of an explanation, and she kind of blew me off and said she really didn't want to talk right now and that she just wants to be alone. I got miffed at this and so I just asked for the paperwork so I can look over it myself. She then said she didn't have any paperwork and she just told me what the doctor told her. I thought this was kind of weird that she didn't have any kind of test results at all, not even online. I guess she saw me making a face or something cause then she's like "what? do you think I'm making it up?" and I was like "well, you don't really have anything to show for it, so it crossed my mind". Immediately, she starts telling me that she can't believe I would ever say something like that, and told me to get out, that she was done with the relationship. I don't really get where she's coming from, because she doesn't have any kind of notes or paperwork? Plus we've been fighting and she's been really dramatic about stuff before to get sympathy, so my guard was just up. I do love her and want her back, but I'm kind of at a loss with what to do? Please help. Thanks!!

tl;dr: Girlfriend told me her lab results, asked her for evidence, she dumped me.

Anony Mouse fucked around with this message at 07:09 on Oct 6, 2017

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:06

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

What a dipshit, she's probably scared shitless

Edit also not unlikely this prince gave it to her considering low grade is an hpv related process

andrew smash fucked around with this message at 07:14 on Oct 6, 2017

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:12

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Anony Mouse posted:

My girlfriend [24F] dumped me because I [26] wanted evidence of her lab results. Want her back. Please help.

Holy poo poo, please stop trying to interact with others.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:12

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Anony Mouse posted:

"well, you don't really have anything to show for it, so it crossed my mind".

drat, she should've bought one of those "I got cancer and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirts and this all would've been prevented.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:16

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Anony Mouse posted:

My girlfriend [24F] dumped me because I [26] wanted evidence of her lab results. Want her back. Please help.

I mean even if she does have a history of making things up for attention, why would you want her back. Even if he's right he's wrong.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:16

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

I bet the guy isn't even in the medical field so going over the results would have meant jack poo poo to him, like looking at punchcards for a minesweeper game or some poo poo.

Like I don't think they give you a big piece of paper that says Cancer? on it.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:18

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My[24m] gf[19f] of 7 months has BPD. Today she assaulted me, almost through my dog out a window, and is now talking to her ex who she cheated on me with during a previous 'episode'. I'm numb and tired.

I'm still in her room at the moment gathering my belongings. Clearly there's no option other than leaving, but I feel so dumbstruck that I'm confused on how to approach this situation.

I had to physically grab her to prevent her throwing my dog out of the (first floor) window. She had been pushing, kicking, and swinging her fist at me while I was packing my clothes and grabbing my toiletries. She grabbed a few of my things and smashed them by tossing them onto the floor or out the window.
She left without a goodbye, she was just unstable and angry and crying so I backed off. I've sadly grown used to these episodes but this is the worst it's ever been, I feel I'm ready to pack up and go. This wasn't caused by an argument or anything, most of the time it starts with a small mood change and just snowballs uncontrollably. The last time she told me she didn't care about me and wanted me gone, it ended with her holding me and crying and apologizing. This time I intend on being gone when and if she calms down.

Right now I'm unsure if I should stay or not to say my goodbyes in person as I always would prefer to do, but I just don't see any reason for it, this is a burnt bridge since I'm unwilling to accept an apology and I'm certain she's unwilling to apologize.
The second bit I'm confused about is how to handle it with her family. Do I just leave without saying anything to them? They've been incredibly kind to me, plus the kids in the family love me and constantly ask about me. A major issue for me right no is imagining their reaction to me either disappearing or saying I'm leaving.

It's a lengthy drive back home and it appears she won't be home tonight. Would I be better off just sleeping here before hitting the road or should I just park at a roadstop given the circumstances?

She was my best friend. I stuck around through all the lows because the highs were greater than any connection I've had with another person. I'm unsure how to handle this. As of right now I'm not trying to contact her because her go-to is just to block/reject people she does this to.

tl;dr: Girlfriend hit me repeatedly and tried to throw my dog out of a window. While writing this I'm back to grab my stuff. Most of my relationships have been well and ended well so I'm confused on what to do in this situation. She will contact me as if nothing happened when she cools down, I want to be strong enough to end it here.

edit2: Thankyou very much for all of your responses. My instinct was to go but hearing everyone's thoughts on it really secures that decision for me. The hardest and scariest part of this is how I'll be so certain I want to leave but then I find myself itching to just call or go back. Any advice on overcoming this is much appreciated.

edit3: Despite being tired and some rainy weather, I went ahead and packed the car and started driving back home. The kids were heading to bed as i left and they cheerfully called my name.. i smiled and waved and cried while heading to the car. 'm currently parked at a truck stop to get some sleep and my pup is sleeping in a bundled up blanket. There are many comments I'd like to respond to but it might take a little while since I'm on mobile. I Just want to say I truly appreciate the help, i feel pretty lost and my mind keeps 'defaulting' to wanting to go back, and probably would have if not for the supportive and informative comments.

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:19

andrew smash: Jun 26, 2006; smooth soul

cumshitter posted:

I bet the guy isn't even in the medical field so going over the results would have meant jack poo poo to him, like looking at punchcards for a minesweeper game or some poo poo.

Like I don't think they give you a big piece of paper that says Cancer? on it.

It's not cancer anyway, sounds like her doctor sucks at discussing these things, but it's not like her moron boyfriend would know any different

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:24

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 16:38

Porfiriato: Jan 4, 2016

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My[24m] gf[19f] of 7 months has BPD. Today she assaulted me, almost through my dog out a window, and is now talking to her ex who she cheated on me with during a previous 'episode'. I'm numb and tired.

So by the mentions of "kids" in this story, I'm reading this as either the 24-year-old OP moved in with his 19-year-old girlfriend, who is still living at home with her younger siblings, or she's 19 and has kids (plural).

Either way, :stare:

# ? Oct 6, 2017 07:28

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