- Guildenstern Mother
- Mar 31, 2010
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Why walk when you can ride?
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Grapefruit soda is delicious though, why would any right thinking person ignore it?
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Oct 7, 2017 20:31
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- Adbot
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May 28, 2024 15:21
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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Grapefruit soda is delicious though, why would any right thinking person ignore it?
Grapefruit soda, like anything to do with grapefruit, is disgusting.
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Oct 7, 2017 20:38
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- dog nougat
- Apr 8, 2009
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Grapefruit soda, like anything to do with grapefruit, is disgusting.
This is objectively wrong.
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Oct 7, 2017 20:40
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- Guildenstern Mother
- Mar 31, 2010
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Why walk when you can ride?
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Grapefruit soda, like anything to do with grapefruit, is disgusting.
Grapefruit is nature's candy and I will fight anyone who disagrees.
Back on sodachat though, if you can find the Jamaican brands of grapefruit soda those are amazing and taste more like the fruit than squirt.
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Oct 7, 2017 21:11
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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And even better than you'd think with gin. That combo deserves a name.
Not sure about gin, but grapefruit + tequila is a Paloma, which is apparently very popular in Mexico.
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Oct 7, 2017 22:00
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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I'm (37m) at a loss on how to proceed with the owner (60's f) of the restaurant I've managed for 10+ years, and her rude grandson (17).
quote:Our issues stem from her grandson, whom I'm will call Jacob, and his disrespectful attitude. There have been a few incidents, but the most recent one is causing tensions.
Anytime Jacob comes into the restaurant he has an air of entitlement, and acts like he is untouchable.
Three days ago I had taken a package of breakfast biscuits to work, and left them for me to eat the next day. Jacob comes in after my shift, and decides to help himself to my biscuits, knowing they were mine. My wife told Jacob that he should respect other people's personal property, and he proceeds to say in a disrespectful tone that there was no name on it, and it was fair game. He also remarked to another employee that we, meaning my wife and I, will learn that we can't mess with him. Cutting to the chase, Jacob tells his grandmother, Sally, that he was scolded, and she always takes his side.
I am off today, but Sally called me to ask a work related question, and once I gave her an answer, she promptly hangs up on me. I call her back to no answer. She finally returns my call, and I ask her about her clear animosity towards me. She tells me, rudely, that she has nothing to discuss and hangs up on me again.
Since I am an adult, I like to settle arguments with civil discussion. I go up to the restaurant and ask her if we can talk. With her back turned to me, she tells me that she doesn't want to talk about it, and I can't make her talk about it. I try a few times to start a dialogue, to which she just ignores me. I told Sally I was going to leave, but that I felt we should hash things out instead of having her anger with me unresolved. No reply.
This issue is going to cause unnecessary stress for me at my job. I have managed her restaurant for well over 10 years, and always busted my butt for her business. I'm at a loss on how to proceed now, when I return to work tomorrow.
Sorry for the length, there are probably details I'm leaving out as it is.
:TL;DR: My boss is mad at me because her grandson acted like an rear end, and is disrespectful to me. I tried to have a talk with her to resolve this issue, to which she ignored me. What should I do?
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Oct 7, 2017 22:07
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- Fantastic Flyer
- Aug 9, 2017
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I'm (37m) at a loss on how to proceed with the owner (60's f) of the restaurant I've managed for 10+ years, and her rude grandson (17).
Pick up the grandma by her legs and use her as a club to beat the grandson. Problem solved.
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Oct 7, 2017 22:24
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
Universally, they just didn't see an issue with showing up and eating without bringing food.
First against the wall
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Oct 7, 2017 23:12
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- Lonely Virgil
- Oct 9, 2012
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Boss won't allow us to use seatbelts in company car [NH]
Well when you are paralyzed in a car accident you'll have a good case against your boss.
Plus a very entertaining court case.
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Oct 7, 2017 23:13
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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Well when you are paralyzed in a car accident you'll have a good case against your boss.
Plus a very entertaining court case.
SovCit boss has not created joinder with you or the legal system. He's totally in the clear when you're suing him in admiralty court. Sorry.
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Oct 7, 2017 23:22
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- Rad Russian
- Aug 15, 2007
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Soviet Power Supreme!
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A less costly strategy might be to wear the seatbelt, get fired, and win the resulting wrongful termination suit.
Seat belt wearers are not a protected class by law. You can be fired for that no problem. Just as good of a reason to fire you for liking the Colts, or for no reason at all. He is in a state where it's not illegal to ride without a seat belt, so his job is not encouraging criminal behavior either.
The only course of action where there can be a successful lawsuit is to actually get injured in a car accident, and then have the evidence that your job did not allow you to use a seat belt even though YOU wanted to, and also that you normally always use it in your personal car.
Rad Russian fucked around with this message at 23:42 on Oct 7, 2017
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Oct 7, 2017 23:36
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Hes probably best off getting the policy in writing then sending it to his boss’s insurer. Dont try to reason, try to gently caress up his pocketbook.
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Oct 7, 2017 23:41
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- Rad Russian
- Aug 15, 2007
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Soviet Power Supreme!
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Hes probably best off getting the policy in writing then sending it to his boss’s insurer. Dont try to reason, try to gently caress up his pocketbook.
That's actually a great idea. If the boss has any sort of fleet insurance on his company cars he will get absolutely demolished.
Rad Russian fucked around with this message at 23:45 on Oct 7, 2017
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Oct 7, 2017 23:43
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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And even better than you'd think with gin. That combo deserves a name.
A truly wise man right here. A G and G/ Good Game is the poo poo on a hot day
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Oct 7, 2017 23:44
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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Hes probably best off getting the policy in writing then sending it to his boss’s insurer. Dont try to reason, try to gently caress up his pocketbook.
Sovcits don't insure their vehicles.
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Oct 7, 2017 23:51
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- Turtlicious
- Sep 17, 2012
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Potlucks work at churches and family functions where people use guilt and shame to force you to behave.
At work, it's just another reason to quit or spike the punch bowl.
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Oct 7, 2017 23:51
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- ranbo das
- Oct 16, 2013
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Just stumbled upon this classic again
I [23m] just discovered prostate stimulation... and I prefer it to sex with my GF. Like, by a lot. Help?
quote:First. Sorry for the way I wrote this. Writing it this way I'm really embarrassed by all this and it was the only way I could convince myself that I could post it, even anonymously. Just bear with me, okay?
This starts in a stupid, embarrassing way. I’m 23, but my doc decides he wants to do a prostate exam during my physical. (Quick question - isn’t that like twenty years early?)
Okay. So he pushes in and it is the first time anyone’s ever been in there. Like ever. And two things happen within three seconds: I get idiotically, you-could-bend-a-steel-bar-around-my-dick, stupid hard. And I groan. Involuntarily and explosively and horrifically.
My doctor laughed his rear end off. I mean laughed, and told me it was okay. “Really,” he says. “It’s pretty common” he says.
But his face tells me it’s not that common.
Dutifully, I went to Reddit and looked this poo poo up. Reddit loving loves it some straight guys getting off on their prostate. “So okay,” I say to myself, “let’s buy a loving drumstick and do this thing.”
So I go to a music store and buy a pair of drumsticks, talking incessantly about what a goddamn professional drummer I am, and how loving necessary it is for me to own some drumsticks right then, as if the guy behind the counter could see into my soul, perfectly aware that I was going to shove one of those sticks right up my rear end when I got home.
I knew. He knew. The guy driving the bus knew. The drumsticks sat in that bag like the loving One Ring, bending space around it. I had guilty secrets, stolen form the Gods, and I was going to gently caress myself with them.
So I get home and I do all the stuff. Lube, stick, push, feel, POW.
poo poo like cum, but not cum, some kind of watery fluid slips out of me in a big knot and feels loving magnificent. Right out of the tip of my purple-tipped cock.
(Another question. Purple tip. Normal when super-hard? Or am I going to give myself a blood clot or something? This is new for me.)
It keeps coming, and the feeling gets better and better. I stop jerking off. (Oh, another note: I was jerking off.) My face gets hot. I realize I’m blushing. My chest blushes, too. That’s new. All my muscles tense up under my skin. They’re probably loving blushing by now, too. I’m a big, red, purple dicked, autoerotic machine, pounding this drumstick into my rear end while my GF is at work, feeling like a loving idiot.
My balls get this frozen cold sensation, and grip up into me, terrified of what’s about to happen (I would assume).
At which point I actually, literally, honest-to-god it’s apparently not just a stupid phrase, see goddamn stars. Little colored lights. My head rushes. I cum so hard I actually scream. Not like a girl, I scream like an extra in 300. I scream like someone lifting a Buick over their head.
Long story short it was the best orgasm of my life. And later that night, I had sex with my GF and the comparison was... I mean she’s sexy and wonderful and we have(had?) great sex, best so far, she’s awesome, but it didn’t compare.
Next day, more drumstick. This time with porn. Porn gets shut off ten minutes in. I don’t need anything else. I’m a loving prostate monk, austere in my faith.
More sex with GF. She knows something’s up. Maybe not “I FOUND OUT MY BF IS loving HIMSELF WITH SURPLUS MUSICAL EQUIPMENT REDDIT WHAT DO I DO?” up, but she knows.
I keep the drumsticks on the nightstand like the loving purloined letter. I say they’re for her. But I can kind of tell she’s not buying it. She knows I’m not as enthusiastic about sex.
Fast forward three months. By now I’ve graduated to a full-on cock-shaped dildo stuck to the bedroom wall. rear end up, head down, biting a pillow. Believe me, I don’t get this either. Why cock shaped? Because I wanted something thicker and I figured if I was going to be loving myself on a daily basis, I might as well get over any lingering homophobia that might be clinging to my soul.
Okay, serious time. I’m not gay. I’m not Bi, either. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with being either. In fact, it would be super convenient if I were Gay, because then I could tell my GF that I’m gay, and get hosed on a regular basis. I don’t know what to do about this. GF tries to seduce me a few times a week and I go along with it. She cums... and so do I, but it’s not fun for me. I lost interest in her. It takes me forever to cum.
No, using a plug doesn’t do it. It has to be an “in out” motion, not just a brick in my rectum. No, my GF wouldn’t peg me if I asked her about it. I brought it up, hypothetically, in terms of “something I found on Reddit.” Her reaction was not promising. I’m not going to say she’s homophobic or anything, but she has very traditional views of what men and women are supposed to be like, and writhing like a demon while a huge cock slides up into your hole is not what the man is supposed to do - so she says, anyway.
And the problem is also that I just don’t want to gently caress her anymore. I want to be hosed. And even though I’m not attracted to men, I’ve considered breaking up with her (first, obviously, no cheat-o) and hooking up with guys. But even that isn’t something I want to do, because I love her (we’ve been together for almost a year) and I love being with her. Just not “BEING WITH” her.
So, Reddit. What do I do? I want to be a normal boyfriend. But I also can't deny that I am sexually oriented to being hosed, and not loving. I cum without touching myself. I don't even WANT to touch myself. Doesn't that mean something obvious?
Suddenly occurred to me: if being gay is genetic, could I be physiologically gay but psychologically straight?
TLDR; DISREGARD THAT, I gently caress (artificial) COCKS.
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Oct 8, 2017 00:15
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- coolskull
- Nov 11, 2007
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well he probably embarrassed himself less than half the people to walk into the music store that day.
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Oct 8, 2017 01:39
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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I [27/F] am on "vacation" with my friend [29/F] and I want to go home now.
quote:
A couple months ago, my good friend suggested that we go to Hawaii since we had not taken a break in a while and we had both recently graduated from graduate school. I told her that my budget was an issue and that I would need quite some time to save up for a trip like that.
I had developed a website for her along with some other things for her business as a friend and in return she offered to purchase my round trip ticket. As far as accommodations, she suggested that we go through one of these websites where property or small business owners offer you accommodation in exchange for a few hours of work a day. I told her that sounded fine, a couple hours a day with majority of our day being free to explore the island would be okay with me.
She ended up finding a small organic vegan Farm on one of the islands, contacted them, and set up the dates for us to go. She did check with me to see if it sounded okay. I looked at their website, the description if the work involved, and it all sounded like a decent enough deal.
Well, we got here two days ago and I want to go home. I can't last here another 10 days. This place is not what I expected, I am extremely uncomfortable and it's essentially a labor camp.
We're staying in a shed. The main house has plumbing but they don't want us to use the toilet, so we have to poop in buckets and pee outside "wherever". Have to shower with a bucket, and follow all sorts of intricate orders to avoid wasting water, etc. We went shopping before we got here and I purposely bought only vegan food but one of the people saw a nonvegan ingredient in a jar of kimchi I bought and threw it away! So far, we've been working 8-10 hours a day, I am not allowed anything non vegan, including shoes or cosmetics. I also haven't been able to leave the property since I arrived.
I expressed my frustration with my friend last night and let her know this was not what I expected, I am uncomfortable, I'm stressed. She is the type of person that loves this stuff, her dream is to create her own commune so she is having a good time. When I told her that I felt like I was in a labor camp and this was not "a few hours a day", she shrugged and said, "well it's not like it's hard labor."
What do I do? I want to get out of here but feel awkward about it because I agreed to come here (under vague pretenses), and she paid for my ticket (although it was a repayment for favors I had done her).
Id rather find an airbnb somewhere or just move my ticket date and go home. Usually, I'm a pushover but I cannot go through this for 10 days. How do I get out of here without ruining my friendship?
tldr: I am currently at a vegan labor camp in Hawaii with my best friend who planned the trip and bought the ticket. Neither of us knew exactly what we were getting into but she's happy with the setup and I am miserable. She planned the trip and bought the tickets. I want to leave now. How do I do this and not ruin the friendship?
Lady, your friend paid for your ticket to indentured servitude. Also you have to poo poo in a bucket don't feel guilty for wanting to leave
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Oct 8, 2017 02:07
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- DACK FAYDEN
- Feb 25, 2013
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Bear Witness
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Just stumbled upon this classic again
I [23m] just discovered prostate stimulation... and I prefer it to sex with my GF. Like, by a lot. Help?
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Oct 8, 2017 02:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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I [27/F] am on "vacation" with my friend [29/F] and I want to go home now.
Lady, your friend paid for your ticket to indentured servitude. Also you have to poo poo in a bucket don't feel guilty for wanting to leave
Kill & eat your friend.
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Oct 8, 2017 02:20
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Just enjoy baking cookies or whatever, it's fun and creating stuff will make you feel good about yourself :/
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Oct 8, 2017 02:27
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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Work potlucks are awesome. Last time I had one at a previous job a couple years back I brought soda and other people on my team brought delicious lasagna and moussaka and other great stuff. I don't really get it. How are potlucks some kind of intimidating beacon of drama????
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Oct 8, 2017 03:06
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- Hughlander
- May 11, 2005
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Work potlucks are awesome. Last time I had one at a previous job a couple years back I brought soda and other people on my team brought delicious lasagna and moussaka and other great stuff. I don't really get it. How are potlucks some kind of intimidating beacon of drama????
My wife tells of a company where she worked for awhile where the pot lucks were for the workers to bring not the management. Of course management ate there too. Oh and every worker was a woman, and every manager was a man. A+ would get free food and clean-up from work-wives again.
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Oct 8, 2017 03:21
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- The Letter A
- Nov 8, 2002
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***Hugh and me.
"This is I..." doesn't sound correct.
English sucks.
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Oct 8, 2017 04:18
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- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
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Exploration is ill-advised.
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I think a lot of people get the idea that a pot luck is meant to be food you cooked yourself, maybe? Though some people just can't do basic things without dissolving in drama and spite towards everyone and everything. And that's why we have this thread.
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Oct 8, 2017 04:37
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- pshap
- Jun 9, 2016
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wait for it...
quote:
What's the go with old people and 'cruise culture'? Not just taking cruises, but being obsessed with everything about the ships themselves.
So my grandparents, parents, and a lot of other older people I know who go cruising are like, right into it. They know everything about the different ship brands and sub-brands, they always want to go see the ships when they're in the the harbour and somehow know when they're going to be docked ahead of time. I was talking to my nan last night since my parents have gone away on a cruise, and she was asking me all these questions like 'do you know if they're on the princess or the sun?' and making comments to me about 'oh when we went on the Princess our normal maitre d' wasn't there/normal captain was piloting a different ship' and then she ran off and showed me magazine pictures of all the different ship classes and I just thought who cares. She was then going on about how because the normal people weren't on the ship they didn't get the same table as usual and pop didn't get his extra plate of prawns like what, am I just too young to get it? Is it some weird cult they catch old people in on? Then I see on facebook today like 5 different friends all posting videos of a cruise ship leaving the harbour. Why do you want to go watch this, giant loving ships leave the harbour 10-20 times a day?
It gets even weirder with the ship crews, particularly SE Asian members. They all get really weirdly attached to certain crew members and will only sit at dinner if they get their favourite's section (my parents said they literally waiting an extra 30-40mins because of this last time), and my Nan and Pop are always messaging these people on facebook and they call him Baby Boy and he calls them Mummy and Daddy. They also brought him to stay over when he visited Australia on a holiday and picked him up and took him to the airport and all that jazz. It just seems like some weird scam these workers are pulling on old people...
Can anyone shed some insight into this stuff?
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Oct 8, 2017 04:49
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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you jerks keep watching incest porn on redtube and then when your dad goes on redtube he gets these ideas and then all these fricking filipinos get your inheritance
(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Oct 8, 2017 04:59
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May 28, 2024 15:21
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- Haifisch
- Nov 13, 2010
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Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!
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Taco Defender
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(2+ yrs) My GF (26f) makes nsfw drawings in public places. She thinks it's funny but I (27m) am embarrassed
quote:Disclaimer: …I think I'm partly to blame here because at first I was OK with her doing this, but that was about her doing it in private. I suspect she thinks I'm OK with it anywhere.
So the background, this is going to sound childish. We've had this joke where she'll leave dick pics (but not that kind, hence my t-away name) hidden around my apt for me to come across. They're usually stickynotes with detailed drawings of penises on them.
I've found them in places like on inside of cabinet doors, under my dog's food bowls, and in a shoe. Honestly I don't mind this, yea it's stupid but it's made me chuckle when I'm having a bad day and opened the door to see a huge dick drawing.
The problem is she also does this around other people or where other people could see it. That's what's causing me the awkwardness.
For examples: … she's drawn dicks on the back of the receipt at restaurants (store copy)…… When we were in our Masters program (where I met her) she sometimes left a doc open on the library computers where she'd drawn a dick in mspaint…… She told me she's drawn them in bathroom stalls…. Once on a trip she did one in one of those hotel Bible's….. Any time it snows she does it on the hoods of cars…
I've voiced before I think she sometimes takes it too far. She also left some of the sticky notes around my parent's house. I was seriously not OK with that, they're conservative and uptight about a lot of things, I got a really awkward call from them the next day. They thought I did it. If I told the truth they'd look down on her so I had to pretend it was me. When I said that was really uncomfortable for me she got upset, and said "They just didn't have a sense of humor." Well they don't but that's not my point…
Some of my friends have asked me what's with her and the dick pics, and I just say it's a joke. I can tell they're starting to think it's weird. 2 guys said she had their sense of humor when they were in Middle School. I'm worried they're gonna start losing respect for her.
Now most recently, yesterday I opened my padfolio in my Boss's office and the first page was a giant, vein-y penis with pubes like an afro around the balls. Thank god he was still on the phone and didn't see it. I would have been humiliated! I could have opened it in a team meeting with everyone around, or in front of a client for all she knew
The even more ridiculous thing is she's actually pretty good at drawing! These things actually look realistic. I've seen some other images she's drawn, portraits of her family and some landscapes. It's all real good. She has a skill but doesn't use it to make much except dicks. I don't get that, why waste good talent??
Should I have shut this down early on? I admit, and this is all on me, I found it funny when we first met. Call me immature sometimes. There also wasn't a reason then to tell her to stop, when I barely knew her yet. Now it's slowly gone on and she's doing it in more places.
Is there a way to tell her it's becoming embarrassing to me without making her feel bad??? She can be really sensitive if people don't like something that's part of "just who she is" …..
Tl;dr my GF leaves drawings of hyperrealistic genitals in places where other peeps can see them. Part of it is a long running prank she does on me, (that I'm OK with when it's in my own apt), but I'm worried she thinks that means she can do it anywhere (like in my work padfolio…Hell no.) How should I talk to her about this? She was hurt the last time I tried.
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Oct 8, 2017 05:00
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Oct 7, 2017 20:31
coworkers, and was told emphatically that I couldn't trade off, so I went to Valu Market and bought several 2-liters of generic grapefruit soda in order to fulfill the requirements. Nobody touched it.
