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I used to think the same way until I met my in-laws, who have been divorced for decades but still get on really well and hang out on holidays and invite each other up to the cabin and stuff. Both are remarried, and their new spouses are friends with everyone too. It turns out that there really do exist fantastically mature well-adjusted people who can recognize that something isn't working romantically but still manage to salvage a meaningful friendship. Reading this thread would make you think they're like unicorns or something but they're definitely out there.
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Oct 10, 2017 19:36
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ArbitraryC posted:The comments on this one are actually p solid because a bunch of people have come out of the woodworks to say how normal it is to be besties with their ex as if that wouldn't get in the way of ever having a romantic relationship with someone else. it's one thing to find it a little weird but they're actually mad about it. they specifically say they find the idea offensive. what in the heck? it's more than a little weird to be offended by something like that. 
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Oct 10, 2017 19:36
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food court bailiff posted:I used to think the same way until I met my in-laws, who have been divorced for decades but still get on really well and hang out on holidays and invite each other up to the cabin and stuff. Both are remarried, and their new spouses are friends with everyone too. Yeah, we make suggestions of severing at sexual incompatibility, or inability to live together for a variety of reasons. None of that would affect a friendship.
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Oct 10, 2017 19:43
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LadyPictureShow posted:I'm not really up on airsofts or whatever kind of 'realistic looking BB Gun' she's referring to, but those can do some damage or at least ding you up pretty good if you're hit point-blank/close quarters with a pellet from it, yeah? i mean it might break the skin but the gun case was because he wanted it, not because he was giving in to her demands e: her wanting a dog was an excuse for him to blow a bunch of money on toys and then when he backtracked on the deal after he got what he wanted he threw a hissy fit and theatrically threw away his toys when she pointed out that it was lovely to backtrack on the dog for toy gun trade boner confessor fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Oct 10, 2017 |
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Oct 10, 2017 19:48
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Mirthless posted:it's one thing to find it a little weird but they're actually mad about it. they specifically say they find the idea offensive. what in the heck? it's more than a little weird to be offended by something like that. my mum and dad literally just got back from a holiday with my dad's ex-wife it's perfectly fine
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Oct 10, 2017 19:50
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they were all banging for the holiday
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Oct 10, 2017 19:51
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Clark Nova posted:And for women, the self-own is usually floating the idea and getting dumped immediately and completely for it. I like the story where OP foisted that on her ~perfect fiancé~ who then packed up and left mid-conversation, blocked her everywhere, and told all their mutual friends, some of whom came around to collect his stuff. can someone repost this story, it's excellent also, Pete was mentioned earlier and i'm reposting it because it's a beautiful self own quote:Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months - we broke up after I booked tickets to go on a trip with an ex from ancient history, who is more of a best-friend.Relationships Thumbtacks fucked around with this message at 20:01 on Oct 10, 2017 |
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Oct 10, 2017 19:56
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Thumbtacks posted:can someone repost this story, it's excellent This is a story that warms my heart every time i read it.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:09
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fruit on the bottom posted:Me [29 M] with my wife [28 F] married 4 months, together 3 years, she has become increasingly irrational Me [29 M] with my wife [28 F] married 4 months, together 3 years, she has become increasingly irrational while dealing with alcoholism about us living in my parents' home with no timeline for moving out.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:10
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Demon Of The Fall posted:they were all banging for the holiday probably my dad's ex's husband is a fine looking older man
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Oct 10, 2017 20:11
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Thumbtacks posted:can someone repost this story, it's excellent I think of this whenever someone uses the phrase "self-own"  It's a work of art
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Oct 10, 2017 20:13
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Thumbtacks posted:can someone repost this story, it's excellent This is the best story ever posted here as far as I'm concerned. It's just so beautiful because she flies off the handle at him when he raises legit concerns around that trip, acknowledges that she flew off the handle...and then just immediately does it again when he breaks up with her.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:17
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Cat Army
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Ouhei posted:This is the best story ever posted here as far as I'm concerned. It's just so beautiful because she flies off the handle at him when he raises legit concerns around that trip, acknowledges that she flew off the handle...and then just immediately does it again when he breaks up with her. i like the part where Dave completely validates Pete's apprehension with the trip we had a guy come into the thread at the time and scream at us for all being huge misogynists because it's totally sexist to assume two people with compatible sexual chemistry who will be constantly drunk and high in the party capital of the world might gently caress
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Oct 10, 2017 20:21
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I think a lot of people don't understand how normal it is for a lot of in-loving in a social circle or that people can gently caress and then act normal after cause they can keep sex adjacent to their relationships but not make it the defining factor. Blame religion, disney, or plain stupidity. Some people have sex and suddenly the terms of things have to change because it was sex and it has to, duh. So when a couple breaks up & stops the sex then everything else must have to go with it since that line has been crossed. or if you hook up with someone well we crossed That Line so now this is a Real Relationship with Rules. Even if it's not a romantic relationship (gently caress buddies). This is partly why poly people infuriate me as they can get over the first part but then double down on the second with their 100 page guide of bullshit terms and rules. Mono folks well mono folks is why we have a thread, don't feel like I gotta explain that one. This might be a more American thing so someone who isn't in a repressed idiot country can confirm it's just our dumbasses. Also I wouldn't assume that's the how I don't get divorce poster is filtering all this through but I'd put my money on it. I know I'm seeing all this through my bias too.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:23
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Thumbtacks posted:
My favorite part of the Pete story is the very end. quote:EDIT: OK I KNOW I hosed UP. What should I do?
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Oct 10, 2017 20:28
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i'm torn because i can't decide if her biggest mistake was blowing up at him (twice), not telling pete she had been talking to dave for a while (or who he was), or planning a trip and buying tickets before she even told pete she was gonna go meet a guy that she dated for THREE YEARS that pete's never heard of it's beautiful
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Oct 10, 2017 20:31
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LethalGeek posted:I think a lot of people don't understand how normal it is for a lot of in-loving in a social circle or that people can gently caress and then act normal after cause they can keep sex adjacent to their relationships but not make it the defining factor. Blame religion, disney, or plain stupidity. Some people have sex and suddenly the terms of things have to change because it was sex and it has to, duh. in high school/college I had sex with multiple women in my friend circle(s) and it never was an issue, one girl and I were FWB when we were both single, never actually discussed it but we'd be single, get drunk and bang.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:34
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Thumbtacks posted:i'm torn because i can't decide if her biggest mistake was blowing up at him (twice), not telling pete she had been talking to dave for a while (or who he was), or planning a trip and buying tickets before she even told pete she was gonna go meet a guy that she dated for THREE YEARS that pete's never heard of I think it was her immediately qualifying the trip by saying any objections he might have would be abuse I get the feeling this whole thing could have been salvaged up until that exact point
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Oct 10, 2017 20:35
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Mirthless posted:the one in the E/N anonymous confessions thread is my favorite open relationships story: Every loving time lol
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Oct 10, 2017 20:40
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Thumbtacks posted:I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong? I've never seen this part before?
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Oct 10, 2017 20:51
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Nah, that's always been there. That parting zinger is the cherry on top. I [24F] told my husband [27M] that he feels more like a best friend than a husband. quote:My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years, married for almost 1. A few months before we got married, I started to notice that I didn't feel as attracted to him as I used to. I brushed it off thinking it was just pre wedding jitters. These feelings had started to become stronger as the months went on and I finally gathered up the courage to tell him last week.
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Oct 10, 2017 20:55
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fruit on the bottom posted:Nah, that's always been there. That parting zinger is the cherry on top. Shaking the magic 8-ball: Have you thought of an open relationship?
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Oct 10, 2017 20:59
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fruit on the bottom posted:Nah, that's always been there. That parting zinger is the cherry on top. the fun thing about life is that often there is no correct decision and it's all about learning to deal with the consequences of whatever decision you make. so just think about which pile of regrets you can more easily handle, "i threw away a loving relationship for nothing" vs. "i'll never know if mr. right is out there somewhere"
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Oct 10, 2017 20:59
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fruit on the bottom posted:Nah, that's always been there. That parting zinger is the cherry on top. If I torpedo my relationship, it will irreparably ruin my life. But if I don't torpedo my relationship, I will resent my husband for not letting me experience what a post-torpedo ruined life is like. What a conundrum!
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Oct 10, 2017 21:00
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fruit on the bottom posted:Nah, that's always been there. That parting zinger is the cherry on top. at least they don't have kids yet ...right? 
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Oct 10, 2017 21:02
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I'm so happy that Pete stood up for himself, definitely a /r/relationships success story. The man saw the writing on the wall for what it was and dealt with it swiftly.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:04
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Straight White Shark posted:In the general case, sure, but the whole thing is basically textbook abuse pattern. He wasn't throwing the gun out because he was frustrated, he was throwing it out to punish her. Lol and WTF is with the restriction that the dog be black. I get there could be some reason for a male dog (though I am not sure what that would be) under 30 pounds I get, but why specify the color? Most concerning is the threatening to really hurt her though. Like WTF most abusers are at lease subtle enough not to actually state that they will hurt someone.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:05
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:Me [29 M] with my wife [28 F] married 4 months, together 3 years, she has become increasingly irrational while dealing with alcoholism about us living in my parents' home with no timeline for moving out. That thread only has three comments, but leave it up to someone on reddit quote:[–]CheddarWax 1 point 1 day ago Welp, there you have it. Clearly she is just drinking in secret rather than, oh, I dunno, dealing with the whole getting sober thing, and possibly realizing they're co-dependant enablers and realizing she needs to sort her own poo poo out? That couple sounds like they were in a relationship based on getting high/drinking and take part of that equation out (coupled with living at his parents' house), she's probably seriously re-evaluating things. Plus, dealing with alcoholism is hard, especially once a person has taken a long, hard look at themselves and finally, finally made that decision.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:09
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i hate all of these people Me [33 F] with my SO [28 M] 3 years. Had a threesome with friend [29 F] to promote openness, last night he asked her to have sex without me. u/c0zie posted:He and I have been friends for 10 years and have been in a committed relationship for 3. She and I have been friends for 5 years. We have had 3 successful threesomes together. Recently we had an emergency moving situation so my SO and I are temporarily staying in said friend's place until its squared away.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:11
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Werong Bustope posted:i hate all of these people Here's a description of my relationship using examples from How I Met Y...what do you mean it was over before it began?
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Oct 10, 2017 21:14
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Werong Bustope posted:i hate all of these people lol Her SO is definitely the person who hosed up here but good god lady maybe he thought the boundaries of your relationship were different than they are based on your stated viewpoints? Also wow you are way way too old to be framing everything in pop culture references like this, grow up
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Oct 10, 2017 21:16
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My girlfriend [22/F] is threatening to break up with me [22/M] over Star Wars.quote:Last night was the debut of the new trailer for Star Wars Episode 8 and I wanted to watch Monday Night Football so that I could see it live. I'm not a big football fan at all, but my girlfriend is and she actually got excited that I wanted to watch a game with her. After the trailer was done showing, I told my girlfriend that it was the only reason I bothered watching the game and then I went to a different room.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:18
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Propaganda Hour posted:My girlfriend [22/F] is threatening to break up with me [22/M] over Star Wars. Lol what a dickhead.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:20
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LadyPictureShow posted:That thread only has three comments, but leave it up to someone on reddit Yeah I expected Reddit to help this guy double down hard given that his vice is weed and the main problem seems to be them living in his parents' house. they are predictable if nothing else
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Oct 10, 2017 21:20
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Propaganda Hour posted:My girlfriend [22/F] is threatening to break up with me [22/M] over Star Wars. No , doofus, she threatened to break p with you because she thought you were agreeing to do an activity with her that she WANTS to do with you, but instead you bailed on her as soon as you had your nerd fix. She thought it was couple time, you had other ideas, and she was hurt.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:23
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Propaganda Hour posted:My girlfriend [22/F] is threatening to break up with me [22/M] over Star Wars. She's completely right except she missed that the problem isn't Star Wars but his entire being.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:24
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Mirthless posted:he might have said no to the dog because of landlord/rent issues, sometimes you get strict no pets policies or it costs like $600 in deposits This is a little bit back, but they'd agreed to the dog in exchange for him getting the BB gun. After he got the gun he said no dog.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:25
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Propaganda Hour posted:My girlfriend [22/F] is threatening to break up with me [22/M] over Star Wars. Getting your girlfriend excited that you actually want to do something with her then ditching her halfway through is lovely. Insulting your partner's interests is also lovely. In conclusion, these two fucks deserve each other.
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Oct 10, 2017 21:27
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i dont like star wars or football but lol that asserting your partner's media preferences are childish and they should appreciate your media preferences like a grown up dude needs to one up her by forcing her to watch obscure french films, then dump her
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Oct 10, 2017 21:29
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therobit posted:No , doofus, she threatened to break p with you because she thought you were agreeing to do an activity with her that she WANTS to do with you, but instead you bailed on her as soon as you had your nerd fix. She thought it was couple time, you had other ideas, and she was hurt. on the other hand she communicated precisely none of that to him and did go out of her way to tell him the things he liked sucked and he needs to give them up forever (and this is the trailer for the new star wars film, which is like... super mainstream and hardly an indication of unbearable neckbearddom) they're both bad at communication and thinking about their partner- which is to say they're both 22
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