/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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FantasticExtrusion: Sep 3, 2017

ArbitraryC posted:

I dunno what I was expecting I just couldn't really imagine the possibilities and now I am filled with beer and regret.

I have to admit Reddit is better condensed.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:05

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:10

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

M_Sinistrari posted:

Does it count if the worst dog bite I ever got was from a chihuahua? Looking back I can kinda laugh at having been around german shepards, dobermans, and pitbulls without a problem, but it's the chihuahua that I get bit and needed stitches from.

Tiny dogs like chihuahuas are often the most insanely aggressive dogs you'll ever see, in part because their small size means that nobody freaks out about a "violent chihuahua" in the same way that they'd freak out about a "violent pit bull".

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:11

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I [23F] stumbled upon my bfs [23M] secret folder, not sure how to handle it

quote:

So I've been with, we'll call him Chuck, for about a year and a half now. In February we moved in together in a different state from where we're both from, we are living in a house I'm renting cheap from a family member and trying to save for an apartment. Our relationship is pretty good, we don't really fight, and when we do its usually resolved quickly.

One of our issues is sex. I was sexually and emotionally abused in a past relationship and also have a chronic illness which has me tired and in pain a lot. This kills my sex drive to almost nothing and we do it maybe 2 times a month and I do other sexual things for him instead when he asks. Chuck has told me multiple times this isn't a problem, its something he can live with. I am well aware that he masturbates and looks at porn and takes care of his own needs and I'm perfectly fine with it.

Here's where we get to the problem. My laptop is old and I can't get it to connect wirelessly to the printer so I use Chuck's desktop if I need the printer and he doesn't mind. Today I needed it when he was at work and scanned in the form I needed to email then left the room for a second so I didn't see what folder it went into. When I came back I was looking for it and I found a folder titled "I'm ashamed" and it was last looked into last month. I'm normally not a snoop but I know Chuck has a history of depression and suicidal thoughts so I looked at it to make sure it wasn't a note of him saying he wanted to kill himself or anything. It ended up being pictures of some of his female friends. Some naked but mostly not. I also found a word document that had descriptions of why he liked the girls bodies and personalities and that he wanted to have sex with them.

I really don't know what to think of this. I'm upset and I feel hurt but I also understand that I don't satisfy his sexual needs often. If we break up I would have to go back home which wouldn't be much of a problem for me since I do freelance work at the moment but Chuck would have to leave his job or transfer to a place back home.

tl;dr: Found a folder on my bf's computer of his female friends pictures and why he likes them and what he wants to do to them. Not sure how to react to it.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:13

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Haifisch posted:

I [23F] stumbled upon my bfs [23M] secret folder, not sure how to handle it

quote:
One of our issues is sex. I was sexually and emotionally abused in a past relationship and also have a chronic illness which has me tired and in pain a lot. This kills my sex drive to almost nothing and we do it maybe 2 times a month and I do other sexual things for him instead when he asks. Chuck has told me multiple times this isn't a problem, its something he can live with. I am well aware that he masturbates and looks at porn and takes care of his own needs and I'm perfectly fine with it.

Here's where we get to the problem. My laptop is old and I can't get it to connect wirelessly to the printer so I use Chuck's desktop if I need the printer and he doesn't mind. Today I needed it when he was at work and scanned in the form I needed to email then left the room for a second so I didn't see what folder it went into. When I came back I was looking for it and I found a folder titled "I'm ashamed" and it was last looked into last month. I'm normally not a snoop but I know Chuck has a history of depression and suicidal thoughts so I looked at it to make sure it wasn't a note of him saying he wanted to kill himself or anything. It ended up being pictures of some of his female friends. Some naked but mostly not. I also found a word document that had descriptions of why he liked the girls bodies and personalities and that he wanted to have sex with them.

i have three things to say about this

1. It's clearly a problem for Chuck, his clearly severe depression and emotional attachment to you is keeping him from admitting it

2. If you were actually perfectly fine with him cranking his handle you wouldn't have snooped around for his porn folder, and all your excuses are hollow as poo poo

3. This is the third time somebody's girlfriend has found their word doc/excel file of all the female friends they want to gently caress, is this all the same guy or is this way more common than anybody could have ever believed was possible?

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:19

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

How did he get pictures of his female friend's naked is what I'm wondering.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:21

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Demon Of The Fall posted:

How did he get pictures of his female friend's naked is what I'm wondering.

presumably, they gave them to him

i'm gonna bet Chuck has absolutely zero self worth but is not the type of person that is normally true of

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:23

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

Mirthless posted:

presumably, they gave them to him

i'm gonna bet Chuck has absolutely zero self worth but is not the type of person that is normally true of

drat, I need better female friends

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:24

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Sex don't work :sever:

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:24

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

On Dan Savage this week, he's handling polyamourism....

Eh, that was way less interesting than the walking dumpster fires that air it all out on r/relationships

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Wasnt one of these dudes photoshopping his female friends to look naked in normal pictures? Why is �not a folder full of my naked female friends� so common? Have some loving dignity and lock your weird folders so at least your SO can roleplay Bluebeards wife.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:26

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

I talk with a girl in a poly relationship and she explained that she married this guy who was her best friend because they are both successful engineers and it made sense from a financial standpoint. So they live together and have kids but they're mainly just friends who share money and get to sex whoever? Is that the first successful poly relationship I've heard of?

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:28

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Mirthless posted:

3. This is the third time somebody's girlfriend has found their word doc/excel file of all the female friends they want to gently caress, is this all the same guy or is this way more common than anybody could have ever believed was possible?

No, that's not normal. Most guys who have told an ex he deleted her nudes are lying, but this spreadsheeting poo poo is never not weird.

TheScott2K fucked around with this message at 17:32 on Oct 11, 2017

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:29

M_Sinistrari: Sep 5, 2008; Do you like scary movies?

chitoryu12 posted:

Tiny dogs like chihuahuas are often the most insanely aggressive dogs you'll ever see, in part because their small size means that nobody freaks out about a "violent chihuahua" in the same way that they'd freak out about a "violent pit bull".

That's what I've heard since then. Honestly, had the dog barked at me, growled or even snarled at any point, I would've given him a wide berth, but it was a I just sat down on the couch and he flew at me. Owner swore up and down her dog never acted like this before, but with how fast she shelled out for my hospital bill, I wonder if it wasn't the first time and it was her way of paying off for silence.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:30

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Demon Of The Fall posted:

I talk with a girl in a poly relationship and she explained that she married this guy who was her best friend because they are both successful engineers and it made sense from a financial standpoint. So they live together and have kids but they're mainly just friends who share money and get to sex whoever? Is that the first successful poly relationship I've heard of?

leave it to engineers to come up with something like this, :laffo:

TheScott2K posted:

No, that's not normal. Most guys who have told an ex he deleted her nudes are lying, but this spreadsheeting poo poo is never not weird.

yeah, i mean, i figured, but holy gently caress it keeps coming up in this thread

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:30

Multilake: Dec 11, 2016; If you're in a jam, a crayon scrunched under your nose makes a good pretend moustache.

I want to see these notes for christ sake! Is he cranking his wiener while snuffing through his notes or is it just a reminder / warm up thing to get him started? gently caress, I've so many questions..

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:31

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

I [23F] stumbled upon my bfs [23M] secret folder, not sure how to handle it

is how you should handle it. Him having a folder called "I'm ashamed" full of spreadsheets and pictures of naked friends should either result in you going full domme or dumping him.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:34

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

This guy pisses me off!

My Cousin [23F] is really frustrating me [21M] about her wedding.

quote:

Throwaway account cause I don't want it linked to my main. Anyways I have a cousin that lives overseas (I live in USA Home of the not qualifying for Russia 2018 Grr). Now she is like my best friend. Whenever my family and I visit every 1-2 years her and I always hangout. We are really close as cousins and I consider her as a sister.

Now she recently got engaged to a guy and the wedding will be next year. When I visited this summer (she was still in the process of getting engaged) she is always like "you have to come to the wedding" "if you don't I'll be so mad" "you're the number 1 person I want to see there" and blah blah blah.

I'm just like of course I will come and of course I WANT to come. This is a huge priority for me because she's like my best friend. I keep telling her have it on a good date, and she's always like yeah of course. Now the frustrating part is at this moment the plan is for her to have it next October. I told her I'll be at university and MAYBE I can take a week off to go to the wedding. Another problem is we visit every year in the summer for like a month and I told her no way I could come 2 times. She told me "then just come in October" and I'm like "listen I know it's your wedding but for me if I have an option to go into the summer when the whole family is out of school and we will be there longer and it will be more fun why would I skip that just to go in October for a week?" She kind of got mad and then I got mad. I keep telling her that she knows what my schedule will be like and when the perfect time for the wedding will be and she just doesn't listen. It's extremely frustrating for me because I keep telling her how much I really want to go (my extended family lives there) and then she always says how much she wants me there but for me she's not doing anything to prove that.

I keep telling her to have it in the summer and her excuse is that she won't be graduated from college yet. She's like an alpha female and she can be very stubborn. Idk what to do at this point. I know it's a year from now and things can change but we are having a little strain in our relationship from this situation. For me personally I will be upset if I can't go to the wedding because I've told her way in advance what my schedule is. It would put a dent in our relationship. Could I go in October and take a week off from university? Yes but why go through all that with money and plus we will probably be there for a month in the summer? Her solution is "Don't come in the summer and just come in October". Yeah let me just skip out on a great vacation in the summer to see my family for a longer time so i can come in October for a wedding just for a week and not see my family that much. Any help would be appreciative here people because she's making me mad cause all her talk is coming out of her butt.

TL;DR Cousin really really wants me to go to her wedding but not making an effort to set a reasonable date for me.

"Hi Reddit long time reader first time poster, how about that US soccer fail :psyduck:

!! Anyway this lady is a BITCH she says she wants me to come but then schedules it when inconvenient!!! What the gently caress!@!"

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:36

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ham Sandwiches posted:

This guy pisses me off!

My Cousin [23F] is really frustrating me [21M] about her wedding.

"Hi Reddit long time reader first time poster, how about that US soccer fail !! Anyway this lady is a BITCH she says she wants me to come but then schedules it when inconvenient!!! What the gently caress!@!"

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU

jesus loving christ! the gall of this rear end in a top hat to try to dictate when his cousin should get married. she's giving you advance notice, unless she's asking you to bail on finals or midterms you're the one being unreasonable here.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:38

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

Demon Of The Fall posted:

How did he get pictures of his female friend's naked is what I'm wondering.

i have had to tell a loving depressing number of my friends that their exes leaked their photos online. thankfully most of the dudes didn't share identifying information, but 90% someone you know has nude photos floating around online.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:40

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Mirthless posted:

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU

jesus loving christ! the gall of this rear end in a top hat to try to dictate when his cousin should get married. she's giving you advance notice, unless she's asking you to bail on finals or midterms you're the one being unreasonable here.

You should read the comments the guy is TOTAL GARBAGE

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:42

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

My (24f) ex-coworker (29f) wants to use me as a reference, she was a horrible employee, should I lie for her?

quote:

I worked with S for almost 2 years. It's a small company, just our boss and us (now just my boss and I). This was also her only job ever, she'd been here for a decade+. So, we are basically her only references. But, S was a horrendous employee, see below.

She would frequently call out, and one time she didn't show up on one of my days off, leaving our boss stranded. He was PISSED. He's a lawyer and was potentially going to file an emergency petition that same day (worth thousands of dollars), and it's unsure whether the person didn't show, or showed up but the doors were locked and left. We'll never know.

She was always late and always sneaking out early, she stayed for her entire shift (which is only 6 hours a day by the way) maybe 1x per week. & She'd always have me cover for her, which put me in an uncomfortable position; if my boss noticed her early departure, I was supposed to say she had just left (even if she left hours ago).

She is crazy. Like, full-on, manic depressive/bipolar crazy. She would come into the office all rainbows and sunshine, talking so rapidly/loud she was basically screaming (imagine 3 cups of black coffee, an eight of cocaine, and 6 red bulls type of hyper), and then I'd hear her crying quietly in her office THAT SAME DAY hours later. She is a roller coaster of manic episodes, and will swing from low to high multiple times within the same day (it's honestly kind of scary how intensely unstable she is).

She lets her personal life dictate her work life. When things were on with her on/off baby daddy, she would be tolerable. When things were off, and she decided to show up to work, she was horrible. Mean, nasty, impatient (she was responsible for training me, and it was hard for me to learn when I never knew whether or not she was going to rip my head off if I asked her a question). She'd also lash out at me on Facebook whenever she was fighting with her baby daddy, and would threaten my job (I guess hurting me somehow made her hurt less?). For a while I would just suck it up and apologize to keep the peace, but eventually I put my foot down, went around her to my boss, and asked if he was really considering firing me. He wasn't. She was PISSED I went around her, and only communicated with me via passive aggressive sticky notes for weeks. Eventually though we became "friendly" again (really I was just her sound board, as she'd talk at me instead of to me, and I would pretend to be interested/nice, because it was just easier that way).

She dressed inappropriately (jean booty shorts - at a law firm, and she's not a small girl either).

She took multiple smoke breaks per day, and I don't mean cigarettes. My boss frequently complained of the smell. He even came in on a weekend once to find her and her boyfriend smoking weed INSIDE of her office (we all have keys). And her nut case, scary boyfriend (who smashed her windows, broke into her house, stole her ps4 and put a vacuum through her TV) gave my boss attitude! My boss didn't know what to do, he just left!

She's stolen thousands from my boss. She opened up Amazon accounts in his name and racked up the bills, twice (10k each time), and then has stolen clients money and kept it for herself. One time, my boss literally watched her steal $2000 in cash - he let it go. She also used to secretly pay her bills from the office account for years before my boss caught on, closed down all of the cards, opened up new ones, didn't give her the info, and started paying all of his own bills (my boss told me some of this when she quit, but he'd been telling me snippets here and there for the past 1.5 years).

On top of all that, she was sloppy with her work, and made a ton of mistakes due to carelessness. She would get an attitude with clients. & She spent most of her time watching Netflix and Hulu while I did the majority of the work.

She would blow all her money on weed (claimed she smoked a zip a day), and then ask me to buy her lunch frequently. I always ended up doing it, because I didn't want to rock the boat after the whole sticky note incident.

She is a compulsive liar. Every other sentence out of her mouth was a lie, and it was eerie how easily/quickly she could fabricate intricate stories (that I knew for a fact weren't true). Even since quitting we've kept in contact via Facebook (the whole "keep your enemies close" thing), and she's told me about multiple job offers she's received. Just the other day she said she landed a gig as an executive assistant for 90k/year, only to ask me for a reference today... she's one of those people who doesn't even care if you know they're lying. They just keep lying for no apparent reason.

You may be wondering why my boss never fired her, and it's because she's family. She's the mother of his grandchild (not together with my boss's son), and she'll use the kid as leverage against him. Plus, he wants the mother of his grandchild to be able to feed and clothe her kid, you know. So, she basically got away with murder.

She ended up quitting without giving any notice because my boss finally docked her pay. She left my boss a nasty, 4 page, 12 pt font, single spaced letter about all the things she hated about him. She locked us out of the office email for good measure, so I had to create a new email and email ALL of our clients the new email (and she didn't have an alpha list for emails so I had to physically look up each email in every file in the filing cabinet).

She only has a high school diploma (and a less than professional appearance), so she hasn't found a new job yet, and it's been well over a month since she quit. My boss and I talked, and in true form, he's going to lie and give her a good review. The area of law we work in is very small, and most likely my boss will know whoever she is applying to work for. Apparently my boss doesn't care about screwing over one of his friends/acquaintances, or putting his name on the line (he used to be a judge, and has been practicing since the 80s, so his reputation/word hold a lot of weight).

But, I can't decide what I should do. If I tell the truth and it conflicts with what my boss said, it could get back to my boss and blow back on me; I told my boss I would lie and say she was a good employee. If I lie and give her a good review, that could make me look bad when she's hired and they see who she truly is. I'm working on my bachelors and will eventually look for a higher paying job, maybe in this field, so I don't want to dirty my name by recommending this girl to anyone.

tl;dr: This turned out to be really long, I'm so sorry. My question is, should I lie and give her a good review, really ham it up, and risk putting my name on the line, or should I be truthful, and risk it blowing back on me/my boss getting pissed I didn't lie?

Edit: I'm thinking of just telling S my boss said he'd give her a good review, and leaving out anything about me giving her a review and hope she doesn't notice/push further. And then if/when someone calls, say "I'd rather not give S a review at this time - please go off of what my boss says". Does this sound okay?

This is quite the loving tale for "asked to give a review for lovely coworker" incidentally here's what I find so amazing about these general posts:
-First you gotta do a bunch of extra work for the crappy co-worker while working with them (usually getting paid the same)
-Then they act oblivious to the fact that it's happening
-Later on with a smile ask for a referral
-Person is worried about lying or getting in trouble

It's always the getting in trouble part like... HR doesn't use the 6 month mark to determine whether an employee was lovely and then call all their references telling them they're in trouble!! because companies sandbag lovely employees just like hers did so.. anyway it's great people's scenarios of what will happen to them are real great

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:49

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

My [26M] roommate [27F] has not talked to me at all for about 3 weeks over who I've brought over to our apartment. Is she being immature?

quote:

I moved into this apartment in the beginning of August. I had to move because I was living with my ex previously. From my move in date, I had some drama with my ex...she confronted me outside the building parking lot, and even once in the hallways of this apartment building. She never causes a scene in the building, nor has met my roommates [24F (second roommate) . So the only thing my roommates know about her is what I've said from my mouth.

They think she's crazy and have told me to not bring her here...and I said that's none of their business. One night I told them I was gonna bring her by for a little and she would leave after. They lost their poo poo. The 27 yr old, let's call her Dina, texted her best friend (other roommate), let's call her Karla. Told her my ex was coming by. Karla calls me calls me disrespectful and all these things.

I decide to not bring her and end it at that. The next morning I wake up to Karla playing loud music on a Thursday morning around 8:30, waking me up. I come out to her yelling at me and throwing poo poo at me. As she's swearing at me, I kept trying to reason with her and tell her she never came and that you're just not thinking logically.

Dina still resumes talking to me, Karla talks to her bf after and then a week later apologizes for everything and says, I don't have much say in who you bring to your room and I told her I would never bring someone here that would affect your life or your safety and belongings. She's never done that to anyone and if she does, I wouldn't bring her here. We have a doorman, she has no way to get into our actual apartment, nothing will happen.

So I actually bring my ex over a couple weeks later. She comes and goes. No one was home. Didn't affect anyone at all. Dina sees her come in from the lobby and ever since then she's stopped talking to me. She sent me long texts but I kept telling her this woman has NO AFFECT on your or this house hold. I told her if anything you should be concerned about all the random women I bring in, not someone that I've known for years.

TL;DR Roommate stops talking to me completely because I brought my ex over. She doesn't like my ex based on stories I've said of her and was concerned about the drama she brings along...which doesn't involve anyone at all in this sapartment.

Tip for this guy in the future: Don't tell people how lovely someone is before you decide you want to invite them over, it may lead to lots of problems!

Like the roommates are really really overdoing it here, I'm just pointing out that it's also self inflicted, he can just keep his business to himself

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:53

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My (24f) ex-coworker (29f) wants to use me as a reference, she was a horrible employee, should I lie for her?

This is quite the loving tale for "asked to give a review for lovely coworker" incidentally here's what I find so amazing about these general posts:
-First you gotta do a bunch of extra work for the crappy co-worker while working with them (usually getting paid the same)
-Then they act oblivious to the fact that it's happening
-Later on with a smile ask for a referral
-Person is worried about lying or getting in trouble

It's always the getting in trouble part like... HR doesn't use the 6 month mark to determine whether an employee was lovely and then call all their references telling them they're in trouble!! because companies sandbag lovely employees just like hers did so.. anyway it's great people's scenarios of what will happen to them are real great

i have a real hard time believing that a lawyer could walk into his office, see one of their employees smoking weed with a non-employee in the office, and not immediately fire that person

family or no, jesus loving christ. if this is real, good god, i hope i never need anything from this lawyer.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My [26M] roommate [27F] has not talked to me at all for about 3 weeks over who I've brought over to our apartment. Is she being immature?

Tip for this guy in the future: Don't tell people how lovely someone is before you decide you want to invite them over, it may lead to lots of problems!

Like the roommates are really really overdoing it here, I'm just pointing out that it's also self inflicted, he can just keep his business to himself

this one comes across like a reverse nice guy situation

like, his roommate had a total meltdown at 8:30 in the morning swore and threw poo poo at him because she thought he brought his ex over

she called friends to come over and chew him out. she was spying on him to see who was coming and going from their apartment.

this is incredibly crazy. he's right, it's none of her business. just imagine if the genders were reversed in this story, we'd be worried her roommate was going to make her into a skin suit

Mirthless fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Oct 11, 2017

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:55

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My (24f) ex-coworker (29f) wants to use me as a reference, she was a horrible employee, should I lie for her?

I get wanting to help people out, but I'm going to be honest with other, established members of my profession about a potential employee because that other, established professional is going to have a much bigger impact on my future prospects and potential referrals than a dipshit who can't stay employed.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:57

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

[quote="�Haifisch�" post="�477275166�"]
I [23F] stumbled upon my bfs [23M] secret folder, not sure how to handle it
[/quote]

my_sexy_crimes.txt

# ? Oct 11, 2017 17:58

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Werong Bustope posted:

Ok this one's long as hell so I'm going to link it but here are the highlights.

Me [30s M] with my friend [30s F] duration, aren't friends anymore due to a miscommunication and I need help fixing this.

tl;dr: Lost a friend do to a misunderstanding and need help moving on/ becoming friends again!

*rushes in breathlessly within minutes of her probation end date* this dude loving sucks!!!

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My (24f) ex-coworker (29f) wants to use me as a reference, she was a horrible employee, should I lie for her?

This is quite the loving tale for "asked to give a review for lovely coworker" incidentally here's what I find so amazing about these general posts:
-First you gotta do a bunch of extra work for the crappy co-worker while working with them (usually getting paid the same)
-Then they act oblivious to the fact that it's happening
-Later on with a smile ask for a referral
-Person is worried about lying or getting in trouble

It's always the getting in trouble part like... HR doesn't use the 6 month mark to determine whether an employee was lovely and then call all their references telling them they're in trouble!! because companies sandbag lovely employees just like hers did so.. anyway it's great people's scenarios of what will happen to them are real great

Agree to give the reference, and then say these things. "She was the worst ever." Unless she applied to a competitor, then say she rocks.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:16

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

quote:

[�]ThrowAway234568838 [S] [score hidden] an hour ago
I know it's not about me sweetie. I have a tough decision to make. At the same time for a couple to set a wedding date they should take their families thoughts into consideration.

loving lol :vd:

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:17

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I [50s m] discovered that my daughter [33/f] has been married ten years. Her wedding was nine years ago

quote:

My daughter, Jessica, has been married for what I thought was 9 years. She and her husband had an intimate ceremony with around 50 people and I'm confused now because I found proof that she's been married for 10.

I was house sitting for her and my son-in-law and while searching for old photos, I found a marriage certificate dated exactly one year before their wedding ceremony. There was also a photo of the two of them in a courthouse either right before or after the elopement.

I plan on calling them and asking why they didn't let anyone know they were married for an entire year. I feel so hurt because the two of them are close witj their familes so why exclude us?

My son-in-law's mom couldn't have known because she jumped and cried for joy when they announced they were getting married.

They're a wonderful couple and they're always laughing so I don't think anyone forced anyone into it. They also are extremely happy in the courthouse photo.

I don't know how to approach this. It hurts a lot and I need to know how to approach them. My daughter is pregnant right now and I feel like maube this is something else they would have kept a secret if it were easy to conceal.

How do I even tell my wife? She and my daughter are extremely close and she would be devastated.

tl;dr: Found out daughter was married in secret 10 years ago. I thought she was only married for 9.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:26

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [50s m] discovered that my daughter [33/f] has been married ten years. Her wedding was nine years ago

loving lol

this is the most pathetic thing to be outraged about that i have ever heard

loving lol, they got married before their ceremony? no poo poo? like literally millions of people have? they still had the ceremony, you rear end, they didn't need to do you a solid and invite you to the courthouse with them

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:30

bamhand: Apr 15, 2010

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [50s m] discovered that my daughter [33/f] has been married ten years. Her wedding was nine years ago

On the one hand that's kinda weird, on the other hand, who cares?

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:30

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My [26M] roommate [27F] has not talked to me at all for about 3 weeks over who I've brought over to our apartment. Is she being immature?

Tip for this guy in the future: Don't tell people how lovely someone is before you decide you want to invite them over, it may lead to lots of problems!

Like the roommates are really really overdoing it here, I'm just pointing out that it's also self inflicted, he can just keep his business to himself

quote:

So the only thing my roommates know about her is what I've said from my mouth.

Good thing they didn't hear anything he said from his butt.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:30

Mirthless: Mar 27, 2011; by the sex ghost

bamhand posted:

On the one hand that's kinda weird, on the other hand, who cares?

it's really not. they got married during the middle of the housing crisis when nobody had jobs and our economy was on fire. they eloped because they wanted to get married sooner but couldn't afford the ceremony.

lots of millennials did this in the mid-2000s, it just made practical sense. why wait a year to get health insurance for your partner? (or any of the myriad of reasons you might want to be married, the legal status comes with a lot of advantages)

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:33

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [50s m] discovered that my daughter [33/f] has been married ten years. Her wedding was nine years ago

"Searching for old photos" oh gently caress you you old snoop. I hope he confronts her just so she knows never to leave him alone in their house again.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:45

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

TheScott2K posted:

"Searching for old photos" oh gently caress you you old snoop. I hope he confronts her just so she knows never to leave him alone in their house again.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:47

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Mirthless posted:

it's really not. they got married during the middle of the housing crisis when nobody had jobs and our economy was on fire. they eloped because they wanted to get married sooner but couldn't afford the ceremony.

lots of millennials did this in the mid-2000s, it just made practical sense. why wait a year to get health insurance for your partner? (or any of the myriad of reasons you might want to be married, the legal status comes with a lot of advantages)

My wife and I had a wholly secular wedding so we got the certificate done at the courthouse a couple months in advance so we didn't have to gently caress around getting a properly qualified officiant for our ceremony. lol at anyone who gives a poo poo when a piece of paper was signed.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 18:51

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Straight White Shark posted:

My wife and I had a wholly secular wedding so we got the certificate done at the courthouse a couple months in advance so we didn't have to gently caress around getting a properly qualified officiant for our ceremony. lol at anyone who gives a poo poo when a piece of paper was signed.

that dude is completely absurd, but if you're in the US there are only a tiny number of states that require your officiant to even register with the state/county/city, and getting someone ordained online takes all of 10 minutes if you've got a friend you'd trust to do it well

not that there's anything wrong with getting it done in advance, just that "getting a properly qualified officiant" should be fairly trivial if your wedding is going to have any number of guests

# ? Oct 11, 2017 19:36

uranium grass: Jan 15, 2005

The post itself got deleted and OP flounced (originally had just replaced the post with whining about how reddit was unsympathetic) but this must have been juicy.

quote:

Me [25F] with my partner [30M] of 3 years. He talks about his ex a lot. Should I be okay with this? There's a twist

quote:

If you're dating someone whose ex-wife committed suicide in front of him after he left her for you, I think this ship has already sailed.

quote:

Yeah I like how the fact that she committed suicide in front of them was casually brushed over as "passed away," just like the cheating was casually brushed over as "overlapping relationships."
I get the feeling there is some strong denial in this relationship as well. You both need some heavy-duty therapy

quote:

The title should read: �I [25F] was the other woman in my partner�s [30M] marriage to [30F]. When she found out he was having an affair, she killed herself in front of us and now my partner won�t stop talking about her.�

# ? Oct 11, 2017 19:40

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

Me [37 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 1 months, I think she might be special needs or learning disabled in some way

quote:

I'm using a throwaway account for obvious reasons.

I work from home and so I don't meet women often or get out enough and recently some friends got me on Tinder and I started dating a bit. Meet a few women who are cool but none that I really connect with.

3 months ago this girl hits me up on Tinder. Like hits me up instead of me having to pursue her. It was a nice surprise, especially since she was young and quite attractive. I've never dated anyone that much younger than me but I figure what's wrong with just seeing where it goes right? I actually though she probably wasn't real but was interested enough that I showed up to meet her for lunch and she turned out to be real. All awesome.

We go on a few dates, the conversation isn't great but she still seems really interested in me and I'll admit that sexual attraction had me sticking around so I make a move and she's totally up for it. We end up at my place and have some really great sex. Best I'd had in ages. We keep dating and have what is the most sexually fulfilling relationship I've ever had. She's just super happy to try things and really excited about it and it's been great.

She basically lives at my house now though she never officially moved in, she just sleeps over so much.

However, over time it's become clear to me that she's also not very smart. And I don't mean I naive. I mean like even the simplest movies or TV shows seem to confuse her at times and when I share things with her, her responses are sometimes nonsensical like she's faking that she understood me or related.

She basically never gets jokes.

She also seems to be incapable of basic things like remembering to flush the toilet, or shut the fridge, or lock the front door. She knows how to dress attractively and is amazing with her makeup and is physically coordinated but she constantly does really dumb things like walking in the middle of the road when there's cars around.

It's a bit like living with with an adult 9 year old.

A few of my friends have started to notice too. Well to be frank some of them apparently noticed before I did probably because they weren't distracted by sexual attraction and you know, sex.

Logically I know this is something I need to get out of. It's probably unhealthy for her and while I LOVE the sex, and am going to miss it I've started to feel like I've been taking advantage of her this whole time.

But at the same time I don't feel like I can just break up with her. She constantly says how I'm everything to her and how happy she is and I don't want to hurt her. What happens if I break up with her and she does something stupid like kill herself?

I don't even know how she was surviving before me or how she gets money because she doesn't work but she's always got money. And she refuses to let me meet her family.

I just don't know what to do and don't know how to talk about this to anyone I know. I'd love some advice.

gently caress my life.

tl;dr: I somehow ended up in a relationship with a woman who I'm fairly certain now is a sort of high functioning woman with some sort of brain damage or genetic learning disability and I'm conflicted about what to do or at least how to do it.

# ? Oct 11, 2017 19:41

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# ? May 14, 2024 17:10

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

http://arresteddevelopment.wikia.com/wiki/Rita_Leeds

# ? Oct 11, 2017 19:50

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