maskenfreiheit posted:

[NJ] Biological daughter is harassing me constantly... (self.legaladvice)

quote:

(sigh) Look, forgive me if I sound like a bitch but I don't have any humanity to give. I've been through a lot in my life, the rape that conceived my daughter was just one of these horrible events. I'm depressed, unemployed with trouble being able to hold jobs down, suffering through PTSD, have no friends or family to turn to currently after being backstabbed repeatedly, and honestly? I just don't feel equipped to deal with this girl's problems which it seems she has. I'm not her therapist or her hugbox. All I did was give birth to her. I put her up for adoption so she could have a family that can love her in ways that I knew I could not. I have a lot to deal with and I can't just take this on as well. Life isn't a Hallmark movie, I doubt "showing a little humanity" to her would help either of us especially since I just don't feel I can.

quote:

She is not a child. She is an adult, a 21 year old, and (according to her) a college graduate. I don't see why I need to drop everything and force myself into a parental relationship with this girl just because I birthed her. I don't and can't deal with this right now. I just spend hours having a panic attack because some guy in this post basically implied I am subhuman for not wanting contact with her. I don't have the mental strength to continue this farce, and it seems that all I can do now is draft a letter to her, and hope she will go away. Because otherwise the law might not help me here.
I cringe just remembering her saying, "Please, will you be my...mommy?" She was trying to be cute and joking about it, I guess to charm me but it really made me uncomfortable. I just...don't want to be her mother. Or anyone's. She has her adoptive family, presumably, and the whole point of the adoption was to relinquish my rights so I didn't have to be responsible or form a bond with her. Why do I have to be her parent now?

quote:

I'm sorry to the mods because I'm sure this is against the rules but gently caress you.
How about how I feel? All my life my feelings have been pushed aside and literally shat upon. Even my rape was treated like my own fault, and I had NO SUPPORT. I weighed all my options carefully, and decided to follow through with the birth because I felt it would be the least harmful of the three options I loving had. I also wanted to feel like I contributed something to the shithole that is this loving world but that's another story.
I don't want to tell her. Ever. Just thinking about this is like nails on a chalkboard to my loving soul. Hell, I'm sure it would be SO uplifting and make her feel SO MUCH BETTER that her "mommy" was raped by complete stranger and will never know her own father because even I DON"T KNOW. On top of it all, I just want nothing to do with her. Let her live her life in peace and I wish her well but I will not become her mother.

Mirthless posted:

another pair of white suburban parents learning a lesson about why you don't call the police on your own children

they're not there to help you discipline your kids. they're not there to help you, period. they are there to arrest people they consider criminals ruin lives, because their performance evaluations demand they make those arrests they get off on it.

congratulations to mom and dad, parents of the year, for making their child a felon

pidan posted:

Short and sweet from /r/legaladvice:

Hats Wouldnt Fly posted:

MinionOfCthulhu posted:

MinionOfCthulhu posted:

The post is locked now and most of the comments are deleted but people were tearing her apart for her decision.

"Seems like if you show a little humanity it might go a long way."


"Fortunately, OBC rights (as well as services like 23 and me) are eliminating the culture of people being led to believe they can just walk away and be done with their child."

MinionOfCthulhu posted:

"Fortunately, OBC rights (as well as services like 23 and me) are eliminating the culture of people being led to believe they can just walk away and be done with their child."

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

Huh, missed the last 5000 or so posts, glad to see the thread's still going strong

quote:

I am Black, Haitian specifically. My partner is French, White by race. We are both first generation immigrants in America.

We met five years ago and have always known we were the ones for each other. We both have never had to fake our personalities around each other and feel comfortable being ourselves around each other. We also get along really well, being that our cultures are so similar and intertwined from history.

We've experienced stares being in public together, from both sides. But our different races isn't something I recently thought about until we started talking about having a baby.

We've never really had a talk about our future child's "racial identity." We've both made comments about how our child would be mixed-raced. But we have specifically talked about raising our child in both our Haitian and French cultures.

I told an African-American friend about our plans and he started saying how my child will be black. I told him our baby would be biracial, but he pressed saying our future child would be Black.

I read about America's "one drop rule" and historically how people with any drop of black was identified as Black. However, I thought the rule was abolished along time ago, but apparently people still enforce it and there is social pressure for bi-racial to identify as Black; completely ignoring his father's heritage.

On the other hand, if the child comes out as pale as his dad, people will identify my child as White and I'll be the parent who gets the shaft.

America is such a bi-racial culture, the two sides are mutually exclusive and demand "what side do you choose?" There's no room for bi-racial people to be both.

In all honestly, the entire prospect of my future child's racial identity has left me terrified. When he or she goes to school, what box will be chosen for him?

Most, importantly how will my child choose to identify as a person? I'm scared my child will be forced to choose one side. I know if my child chooses to identify as "White" I will be devastated that he has erased me and my family. I'm less worried about me and more about my partner.

If my child eventually chooses to identify as Black, I can already imagine that my partner will be deeply hurt and feel our future son/daughter is denying that part of his heritage and essentially his parentage. I fear that he'll think, " Why invest time, resources in raising a child who in the end won't claim him?"

I feel like he'll regret choosing me and not a White woman; with a White woman society will acknowledge and respect him as the father to his children.

Whites who enforce the "you can't choose one side" for biracial children and African-Americans who pressure biracials to identify as Black to further their political agenda have no idea how this can affect people on interracial families.

I haven't brought it up with my partner. It's something I've kept to myself. I'm not sure I can bring it up. I love him deeply and I always saw us spending our lives tougher. But now the reality of the society we live in has set in and I'm not sure he will be able to accept the reality of this society and what that means for our interracial family..

He wants us to start trying soon. How do I go about this reddit?

tl;dr: I am afraid my partner will regret having a "biracial" child with me!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Not for long. I'm about to Powder Keg to the Balkans this poo poo.

I [29/F] am afraid to have children with my White [32/M] partner

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

Another father who went "haha just kidding" after calling the cops

quote:

I'm being accused of cheating in a math exam. I am 16 years old. I got a perfect score in the exam and the teacher asked me to stay after the class and she told me that she knows I cheated. I didn't cheat. My math has always been good except last year when I was dealing with depression. She says she knows someone of my mental faculties will never be able to get a perfect score so I must have cheated.

I told her that I didn't cheat and I'm offended at the accusation. Two days ago I was asked to see the principal who said the same thing, that I should confess to cheating and tell them how I did it so that they can stop other students from doing it. He more or less threatened me "this can go very well or very bad for you depending on your cooperation with us."

I told him that I'm happy to retake a new exam right now or at any other time to prove that I didn't cheat but he said that I could have had time to prepare since the time my teacher talked to me. I told him that if their evidence for my cheating is my lack of mental faculties then no amount of studying should make a difference? He still did not agree for me to take another exam to prove that I could get that score.

Yesterday I was asked to his office again and he told me that he knows about how some students are cheating and offered me a clean slate if I let them access my social media and emails to find out who they are and if I give them evidence of other students cheating he will let me retake the exam. I have no knowledge of what he is talking about and I declined access to my social media and email.

I'm now suspended for disobedience of school staff and lack of cooperation for proving my innocence from a cheating charge. This to me sounds very unfair and I can't help but feel like I'm being targeted here for maybe a personal reason? Because this does not make any sense. They have no evidence that I cheated and refused my offer of retaking the exam and they insulted my intelligence.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Not for long. I'm about to Powder Keg to the Balkans this poo poo.

I [29/F] am afraid to have children with my White [32/M] partner

maskenfreiheit posted:

[MN] School is accusing me of cheating with no evidence. I'm now suspended and want access to my social media and email to prove my innocence. (self.legaladvice)

Mirthless posted:

ugh this just boils my loving blood

"Well I love MY kids so I don't see why you don't love yours! You horrible person! Every day I'm alive my special little Aiden gives me so much joy! Every second of every day I THANK THE LORD JESUS that I have a little Taylor and our tiny baby Madison to give my otherwise completely useless life meaning! How DARE you not want your own little Kennedie?"


edit: that is definitely not a real quote I just loving hate this kind of person

Maggie Fletcher posted:

I am certain this exact quote has been said verbatim by at least one Mommy Soldier. I'm 100% with the mom here; she gave her medical history and asked to go no-contact. The daughter should've respected that. I can understand why people feel for the daughter, hoping for her own reunion story, but life isn't a daytime TV show and sometimes pregnancies are mistakes.

maskenfreiheit posted:

[MN] School is accusing me of cheating with no evidence. I'm now suspended and want access to my social media and email to prove my innocence. (self.legaladvice)

Maggie Fletcher posted:

I am certain this exact quote has been said verbatim by at least one Mommy Soldier. I'm 100% with the mom here; she gave her medical history and asked to go no-contact. The daughter should've respected that. I can understand why people feel for the daughter, hoping for her own reunion story, but life isn't a daytime TV show and sometimes pregnancies are mistakes.

PetraCore posted:

Yeah, and telling the daughter WHY she doesn't want anything to do with her might help... but it's not like the daughter has respected her boundaries so far, and I'd honestly be worried about providing emotional ammo. I don't think biomom handled the situation as gracefully as it could have been handled, but part of that is because she's dealing with her own mental health issues which is why she didn't want anything to do with her kid in the first place. There's not a happy reunion to be had here.

Also it sounds like daughter has been hounded biomom over who her biodad is, which is, um, well.

TheScott2K posted:

"School Principal" seems like one of that jobs that just makes you stupid if you do it for too long. The poo poo they do that just would not fly at all in any other setting...

mojo1701a posted:

Not sure if it's "dumb" so much as "I think I'l get away with it because kids are dumb and afraid of authority".

MachineryNoise posted:

At least we know where that rape baby got her inability to take "no" for an answer from.

MinionOfCthulhu posted:

The post is locked now and most of the comments are deleted but people were tearing her apart for her decision.

lemon-lyme disease posted:

This is such a wrong thing to say that it almost loops back around.

quote:

EDIT: I've concluded that I'll discuss the situation with my mom, and, if things don't work out, look into internships to pay for my own place after a semester.

I recently got admitted to the university my mom works at with 100% tuition covered, and I'll be starting in Spring next year.

As a result, I began looking for housing near campus (note: my mom works at a separate campus closer to our house). After searching, my mom made it clear that she didn't want to waste money on rent, and instead told me that she'll get a condo for me while I attend. Soon thereafter, we found a nice one bedroom.

However, out of nowhere, my sister confronted our mother and I stating that "it's not fair" I get to live on my own at a young age.

Side note: Last year, I declined a 50% scholarship offer to attend a university on the East Coast, and my mom wanted me to go. . Instead, I did a year at community college and achieved high grades to attend this university. It's a top 20, so there was no guarantee I would get in.

Back on topic, I was irritated to hear this from my sister despite how hard I worked to get into this university with my tuition 100% free (usually >200k). On the other hand, my mom has spent >25k on my sister's communications degree (BA), which took her 8 years to complete.

That said, my mom now wants my sister to live me in the 1 bedroom condo, because she wants my sister to get a Master's at the university (100% covered).

I see issues with this plan:

My sister doesn't want a Master's degree: she hasn't bothered to look into admissions or the GRE even though she's been unemployed for a couple months (she quit her first job)

My sister is extremely messy: she litters her room with clothes; our bathroom has 30+ bottles of different shampoo, she barely does household chores (ex. can't use the dishwasher)

Lastly, the living space will be very tight. My mom wants to turn the small living room into the bedroom for my sister. There would only be enough room for a small desk and a small dining table. Also, the condo's bedroom isn't blocked off by walls (you can see into it from the living room), which makes it even more uncomfortable.

Ultimately, I don't want to deal with these possible issues while taking on a difficult engineering curriculum when I start university. However, I'm beginning to think that I am completely in the wrong, and my thoughts are just selfish. Am I in the wrong? or should I just keep my mouth shut?

TL;DR: Mom is buying small condo for me to live in for college. Sister is jealous that I get to live on my own even though I saved our family >200k in tuition costs. Mom now wants her to also move in (for no solid reason). Not sure if I'm just being selfish or not.

MachineryNoise posted:

At least we know where that rape baby got her inability to take "no" for an answer from.

MachineryNoise posted:

At least we know where that rape baby got her inability to take "no" for an answer from.

fruit on the bottom posted:

That would also be an amazing way to drop that particular bomb on the daughter.

Mom [57F] wants sister [26F] to room with me [19M] for college because my sister is jealous

LethalGeek posted:

You mean the hive mind at a site like reddit doesn't really take rape seriously???!?

MachineryNoise posted:

At least we know where that rape baby got her inability to take "no" for an answer from.

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

Another father who went "haha just kidding" after calling the cops

LethalGeek posted:

You mean the hive mind at a site like reddit doesn't really take rape seriously???!?

Submarine Sandpaper posted:

Another father who went "haha just kidding" after calling the cops

quote:

Comstock told the newspaper he's outraged police shot his son. Other family members told the newspaper police should have backed off the pursuit because they knew who they were chasing.

fruit on the bottom posted:

"You know you're a lot like your father"

"Really? What was he like?"

"He couldn't take no for answer and didn't care about my consent."