Carrion Luggage posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/50jt64/can_i_sue_my_beekeeper_neighbor/


this is a great one

quote:

I'll try to keep this fairly short, I've been with my girlfriend for just over two years now and whilst it's not been perfect she's the best thing that's happened to me and we've had some wonderful times together. We live in different cities 50 miles apart so other than holidays we typically only see each other at the weekend from late Friday evening until Monday morning. We talked about moving in together at the start of the year but for various reasons have never made any progress on this.

Last week we went away on holiday and had a great time while we were there. The day after we got back we attended the wedding of one of her friends and whilst sat around a table socialising with some of her married friends they were making comments about how she'd come back from holiday without a ring on her finger. Now, we have discussed marriage in the past and I know it's something she wants, the trouble is her hobby almost takes over her life 3-4 months of the year and during this time I feel very much second best.

Her passion is music and singing so she's in an operatic society. She's on the committee and is one of the principal singers, most of the year they'll have a rehearsal on Tuesday from 8-10pm then after that go the pub until midnight, then on Fridays they go for a meal at the pub from 6-8pm. Plus one Monday evening a month they have a committe meeting. This was her schedule when we met and is perfectly reasonable, it makes her happy and therefore I'm fully supportive of this.

The problem (for me) is during show seasons, they perform a show on three consecutive weekends in the Autumn, two/three in December, and a full production for a week in late spring.

So her schedule for Oct & Dec typically looks like this:

Monday - committee meeting 8-10 (one a month)

Tuesday - rehearsal 8-10, pub 10-12

Thurday - principals rehearsal 8-10, pub 10-12

Friday - pub meal 6-8

Saturday - Show 7:30 - 9, pub 9-11

Sunday - Principals rehearsal 2-5 (if there wasn't a show on the Saturday)

For April & May it looks like this:

Monday - committee meeting 8-10 (one a month)

Tuesday - rehearsal 8-10, pub 10-12

Thurday - principals rehearsal 8-10, pub 10-12

Friday - pub meal 6-8

Sunday - principals rehearsal 2-5

She takes a week off in May when the show is in the theater, it typically runs 7:30-10 Tuesday to Saturday.

Whilst all this is going on I barely see her and even when I do she's often exhaused from working a full time job and spending time singing.

I've talked to her about this schedule before now and she agreed to give up being the society secretary at the end of the year, come the end of the year she does do this, I thought she'd then get Monday's back but no, she's not given up being on the committe so it just means she no longer has to minute the meetings. We've also talked about her stepping back from being a principal and going back to being a member of the chorus but apparently even they still attend multiple rehearsals as show season approaches so she think it will make much difference.

So reddit, what am I to do? The last thing I want her to do is have her give up singing for me as I know how much she loves it and that'll just breed resentment. I've got enough hobbies and friends to keep me occupied during show seasons but I'm increasingly getting annoyed with how much time it takes up and feel like the relationship suffers because of it.

I've met, spent time with the group and get on with them, they'd like me to join but I can't sing to save my life and don't like the music they perform either so getting involved with the society is a non-starter for me.

We're both 37 and I know she wants marriage and children but the last thing on my mind during these periods is progressing the relationship to the next level, in fact it's precisely the opposite.

tl;dr At what point does a hobby become a deal breaker

quote:

I am a beekeeper for only 2 months. I started 2 hives from 2 nucs transferred to the hives in July, then later I added deep on each hive so bees can collect honey in them.

Recently the guy to mows the lawn of my neighbor started complaining about bees stinging him, whenever he goes close to the hives with his big lawn mower. I tried to explain to him that it is obvious that whenever he is close to the bees with his loud mower, bees will get offended and will try to defend themselves.

quote:

The hives are in my yard, more that 4 ft away from property line (law is 4ft) and I have to have 4ft high barrier of any kind.
I have the barrier on 2 sides (will be building 2 more sides soon, before county gives me fine). The neighbor side is 5ft high bushes, and the guy mows on the other side of the bushes blowing all the dust and the cut grass towards the hives.

quote:

I don't know why, but my bees are more aggressive than any others I watched on youtube. You can't get closer that 3ft without getting attacked.
Any suggestions about this?

Carrion Luggage posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/50jt64/can_i_sue_my_beekeeper_neighbor/


this is a great one

boner confessor posted:

i'm not a bee expert, but i'm pretty sure bees dont kill flowers

quote:

(trigger warning) I've started seeing a therapist for the first time and so far it's been great for me but it's causing some issues with my abusive and toxic family. I always thought my childhood was normal, but I had a lot of repressed and painful memories that I wasn't able to access until I got into therapy and underwent some hypnosis. As it turns out I was repressing memories of abuse from multiple family members. As I kept going through hypnosis I also discovered something that at first I thought was crazy but now I realize it's more common than people think, which is that my family engaged in Satanic worship during my childhood and and occasionally used me as part of the rituals, which explains this scar I have on my abdomen (I was told it was from appendicitis as a child but it looks like it was actually from ritualistic bloodletting, as hosed up as that is.) Once this all became clear to me, my therapist advised that I cut contact with my family, so I sent them one email explaining what I had discovered and that we weren't going to be in contact anymore. Although it was painful at the time I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

Since then I've been working on self care in therapy and understanding that a great deal of my anxiety and mental issues are caused by dynamic entities (it's kind of a scientific term but basically, ever-changing molecules of emotion that bury within the brain and can only be released with a very specific type of hypnosis.) My therapist was basically the person who championed the research on this so we've been working with a lot of skin-on-skin and hypnosis therapy to banish the dynamic entities. So far I feel a lot better but I know I still have a long way to go.

Eventually my therapist told me it would be best for me to seek inpatient care at the facility he owns. This is where a lot of his patients go, especially ones with high dynamic entity activity. High dynamic entity activity tends to be associated with people who are profoundly gifted and high IQ, it's very rare that someone sees as much ED activity as he does in me...so inpatient care is generally needed for people at my level. The inpatient treatment costs $2,000 per month, it is really top of the line. The good news is that I can go for free if I help out with basic tasks around the facility like dishes, farming and (once I'm trained in it) hypnosis to rid other people of their dynamic entities (and I've always wanted to be a therapist so I'm very excited about this.)

Well, my toxic father found out about this and has a major problem with it, probably because for the first time in my life I am happy and he doesn't want that to happen. He found my therapist and threatened him and is now threatening "legal action" (not sure how that's even possible, seeing as I'm an adult making my own choices) against him.

He still denies all of the abuse and claims that the memories were "false." I'm not sure how my therapist would even benefit from my going to this inpatient facility, considering I'd be going for free.

I am debating whether or not to contact my father again as a final warning to step away from my life and stop meddling in my business, but my therapist believes any contact with him will spike my EDs through the roof. To be honest, I probably shouldn't even be posting here, but alternative views could still be helpful. So what do you guys think?

tldr: my father is trying to take "legal action" against my therapist for putting me in inpatient care, I want to confront him but I made a clean break and don't want to open up contact

Esoteric Scientist posted:

the /r/relationships OP was deleted but fortunately someone on SRD saved it

My [30F] abusive father [58M] is trying to stop me from seeking inpatient treatment and trying to sue my therapist [65M]

Inescapable Duck posted:

I'm the 'skin-on-skin' therapy.

Esoteric Scientist posted:

My [30F] abusive father [58M] is trying to stop me from seeking inpatient treatment and trying to sue my therapist [65M]

quote:

note:: ** I own this business / studio. **

This student has the worst BO. I noticed it during out first lesson. I was willing to forgive the bad BO because the student mentioned going on a run before our class.

I teach sewing lessons, ans as such use MANY textiles, some of which absorb smell easily. My place STANK to the sky. I had to break out the special sprays, I tossed the seat cushion used by the student, even the doorknob stank. I hung my textiles in the sun to destank. This is not hyperbole.
The 2nd lesson-- It become CLEAR this is just how this person is. Wearing the same clothes, same everything.

My lessons are not inexpensive, and from his address, I know the student lives in a very uniformly posh neighborhood. Seems like an anxious person. I'm even willing to go out on a limb and guess some of this issue isn't a question of resources, but maybe a psychological issue. This is not meth-stank, I don't think... (Meth causes a buildup of ammonia in the body and that signature methhead smell is ammonia and dissolving subcutaneous fat... this is unlikely to be that smell. I've worked wardrobe and wow, one gets super knowledgable with idiosyncratic body stanks when extras return their costumes.)

I will NOT host another lesson if the student doesn't take a shower and change clothing immediately before class. I spent 4 hours cleaning, spraying, and airing out my teaching space EACH TIME, and I absolutely lack the time to do this again as Halloween is peak season in my line of work.
I know the student lives with a parent, whose phone number I don't know, so I can't call the parent in as an ally. An even if I did... the student is mid 20s.

Any suggestions?

**tl;dr: I teach patternmaking and sewing lessons-- My student smells terrible and I will not host the student again if the student doesn't fix the body odor/personal hygiene issue.

quote:

A few days ago I took a bunch of cough drops at 2 in the morning (stupid, I know). I blacked out and suddenly came to with four police officers surrounding me on my floor asking me what I had taken. Apparently my neighbor heard screaming and called the cops. In my very hosed up mind I said I was on LSD, which wasn't the case. At this time I was also in possession of various "research chemicals" which are legal analogs of illegal drugs. They were in my desk drawer along with a scale that I use to measure them and various supplements such as creatine.

I vaguely remember one police officer saying they found a bag of white powder in my desk before I passed out again and woke up in the hospital. When I make it home I find that all my chemicals, the scale, and a spare phone that I kept in the same box as my chemicals are all gone. I have not been arrested and have heard nothing from any sort of law enforcement yet.

I'm sure they are testing those chemicals and it will probably take some time before those results come in but I want to know what to expect. First of all, did police have the right to search my apartment just because my neighbor called the cops and I said I was on LSD? Second of all, do Good Samaritan laws apply in this situation, where none of the parties involved can be charged with drug possession if someone called the police because someone else needed medical attention?

I know I need to lawyer up but I'm just a broke, scared college kid and I don't even know where to start. Do I wait to see if charges will ever be filed or do I find a lawyer now even though I might not be able to afford to keep them around until charges are filed?

Danaru posted:

[IN] Drug induced black out. Woke up in a hospital and found that my apartment had been searched by cops.


I honestly can't figure out if "cough drops" is slang, or if this guy is really trying to say he got rocketed off his rear end on Fisherman's Friend, and also unrelated the cops took his burner phone and 'TOTALLY NOT DRUGS GUYS'

quote:

As the title says, I'm a 25 year old female. I work in a male dominated factory setting. I've been in a relationship with a coworker for about a year now. I am very much in love with him. Our relationship is monogamous and I want to keep it that way. Now, relationships at our job are mildly off-limits. For example, everyone in the factory knows about our relationship, including my boss, but if it reaches the higher ups we would be terminated.
We all have an unspoken agreement not to tattle on each other because honestly people have relationships all the time here.

My boss [28M] is an rear end in a top hat. I could write an entire post about his assholery and antics but this incident alone will paint a pretty good picture of the kind of person he is. In short, he likes to lie and pull pranks on people. These aren't cute pranks or funny little white lies. He likes to play mind games and seriously mess with people's lives, probably out of boredom. He's constantly telling me and my partner lies about each other behind our backs. For the last few months he seems hell-bent on making me cheat on my partner, for whatever reason. He's constantly trying to get me to hook up with other coworkers for his own amusement and I've stood my ground that I am not going to cheat. He obviously doesn't want us to get fired because we both have essential roles in the factory and it would make his life harder if we were gone.

Last week my boss approached a coworker [Late-50's M] who I don't really know very well. I'll call him Ron. The extent of our conversation has always been "Hi, How's it going?". My boss told Ron that I was interested in going out with him and proceeded to give this man my contact information. There is a very good reason I have a fake Facebook name. I'm rather private and don't want to be found or added by people in general.
So Ron requested me and I reluctantly added him. He sent me a message saying that Boss told him I was interested in him and he'd love to hang out sometime, much to my horror. I politely told him no, saying that I was happy with my partner and Boss was just being an rear end in a top hat to mess with me. Ron told me that was ok, apologized for the misunderstanding, and told me he respected me and would leave me alone.

Luckily, Ron usually works in our factory across the street so any in-person awkwardness could be avoided. However, everyday after work for the next week I'd receive messages from Ron. Each day, they started getting more aggressive. Basically, he would start with a polite "How was your day?" and he'd lead into how much he wanted to see me and, when being denied, would say "That's ok, I understand. Let me know when you're single."

Meanwhile, my boss asked me if I got a message from Ron. I told him "Yes and gently caress you" my boss kept insisting I had met up with Ron and slept with him and, when I told him I hadn't, he called me a bad liar. Whatever. Not my problem if he thinks I'm lying. However, he convinced another coworker to go around telling people he saw me and Ron together over the weekend. This did NOT go over well with my partner, but he believes me over our notoriously lying boss.

So, Thursday rolls around and Ron messages me AGAIN saying he loves me and has been waiting 17 years for the right woman and starts going on about all the sexual stuff he wants to do with me. Ok, so this guy doesn't even know me at all and at this point I'm getting ready to block him. I very gently told him he seems like a nice guy, but I'm not interested. This is when he absolutely snapped. I'm talking all caps and insults. Finally he tells me he is going to the office Monday to tell the higher ups about my relationship with my partner so he can get us fired.

I begged him not to and said its not worth it to ruin our lives over this, nor would it bring me closer to him. But he wouldn't let up. I'm not so concerned with my own job, as I can always find something else but my partner is deep in debt and needs this job badly. He's old enough that he'd have a very hard time finding employment elsewhere for as much money as he makes here. So, I asked Ron to reconsider and we'll talk in the morning.

The next morning Ron was very apologetic and said he's not going to hurt me like that. He claimed he was in tears and was just upset I wouldn't hang out with him. Ok, good, right? Well, I woke up to a new message this morning saying "gently caress [partner]. Changed my mind. I'm going to get him fired on Monday" then an hour later saying "Or you can spend the night with me and we'll be even"

I'm so angry, stressed, and scared right now. I'm mostly angry at my boss for starting this whole mess. I've only confided in my brother (Who used to work with me) and said he always saw Ron as a decent guy and was shocked at hearing all this. I'm so lost right now. I don't know what to do. I did tell my partner that Ron has been messaging me and I turned him down, but nothing more about the threats. I'm so scared for my partner's job that I'm seriously considering just getting the "one night" over with, though I have a bad feeling he wouldn't let it go after one night. If I do report this behavior, I'm scared I'll be accused of leading him on (which I didn't other than being polite about my rejections) and I'll lose my partner as well. I really need help figuring out what to do about this.

TL;DR - My coworker is threatening to get me and my partner fired if I don't spend the night with him, all because my boss wanted to play a lovely game.

Inescapable Duck posted:

Pretty sure you could get a lawyer salivating with that post.

ArbitraryC posted:

I'm sure that's part of the joke here but your neighbor starting a small bee farm doesn't mean they're like swarming your backyard everyday right?

ArbitraryC posted:

so dude literally stuck a huge hive 4 feet away from someone else's lawn where the biggest "barrier" is the neighbors own bushes. He proceedes to admit that


the bees attack people within 3 feet of the hive.

If I ever hate any of my neighbors ima totally start beekeeping.

Mirthless posted:

Unless you're resoaping between every coat of conditioner this is a good way to leave conditioner residue on your back, and backne is gross

Shampoo(1m);Rinse(30s);Condition(3m);Rinse(1m);Condition(3m);Rinse(1m);Mask(5m);Rinse(1m) - that's 15 minutes right there

Underrinse and you leave conditioner in your hair. (not necessarily a bad thing but some conditioners you need to wash out or your hair will look greasy) Multitask soaping in the middle and you're leaving conditioner on your skin.

Like, look, I understand there are people who don't want to be hosed to put this much effort into things but you get out what you put in. 20 minutes is not a lot of time to be in the shower. It's weird that you consider a pretty standard haircare routine to be "ridiculous", and I still don't understand how 20 minutes in the shower is an unreasonable amount of time for anybody. Criticism declined.

Esoteric Scientist posted:

the /r/relationships OP was deleted but fortunately someone on SRD saved it

My [30F] abusive father [58M] is trying to stop me from seeking inpatient treatment and trying to sue my therapist [65M]

quote:

My boyfriend [36M] sees a habit of mine as deliberately manipulative; I [30F] don't. He says if I can't, we should break up.Relationships
submitted 23 hours ago * by hothouseorchid

Let me begin by saying that I know I’m not perfect as a partner: I’ve been told I can be hard to read, and especially in my early and mid-twenties I had a bad habit of letting things bother me without being open about what was bothering me. I’m definitely guilty of making passive aggressive comments now and then. I’ve worked hard to eradicate these patterns, and while I’m much better now at expressing frustrations in a healthier way, I’m still human and can still mess up.

Possibly related to this, I tend to be very careful about what I say. I’m slow to express ideas, because I don’t like expressing them until I’ve really thought them through. When fights escalate, I tend to shut down, and mentally scramble to come up with responses. And when I’m angry or irritated, I tend to close myself off, because I don’t want to say something in anger that I don’t mean or can’t defend. I also think I stay silent when someone says something especially hateful or vicious because I want the words to kind of hang there and let the speaker reconsider them.

I should add here that this doesn’t manifest as full-blown silent treatment. I answer questions and talk about non-difficult subjects, and when things get tough I try to make a point to say, “I need a minute to process things.” I do shut down and struggle to talk at times, but I don’t (consciously, at least) use it as any kind of punishment.

This habit of mine drives my boyfriend insane. He gets very, very upset if I don’t respond or react. I can understand how frustrating silence can be, and I’ve tried not to do it as often. (This can be difficult; like I said, in upsetting situations my brain can kind of shut down and I start to panic and scramble for responses.)

So here’s what happened: Because of his highly specialized job, my boyfriend and I live in an area that I’m not crazy about (very conservative, far from my family). As a way to mitigate this, we had been planning to spend a few months in liberal, hip City A next year. We just found out, though, that my boyfriend has misunderstood some requirements of his job and we would probably wouldn’t be able to go to City A.

We were discussing this in the car, and I was feeling disappointed and frustrated at the situation. I offered a suggestion for one way we could manage it. He said he didn’t really want to do that. I didn’t respond, and the conversation ended; the rest of the trip home was silent.

Later that night, once we were home, I asked him a question and he pointedly ignored me. Throughout the evening, questions were met with total silence. When I asked him what was wrong, he didn’t say anything. I assumed that it was because of my lack of response in the car, but when I told him I didn’t know what the problem was, he wouldn’t say anything.

By the next day, he was absolutely furious: first because I hadn’t responded to his statement in the car (and because I hadn’t been sympathetic to his own disappointment about City A), and second because I had “pretended” not to know what the problem was the night before. He said it was a form of gaslighting.

I apologized for what had happened in the car, and admitted that it happened because I had been feeling frustrated. I told him I understood why it was so hurtful to him, and I promised to try harder.
He said he would refuse to drive with me anywhere, including to work (it’s an hour-long commute, and we work for the same institution and at the same time), unless I admitted that the silence was deliberately manipulative and designed to be psychologically abusive. He added that I needed to admit that I was a narcissist—that I should “read the forum and message boards” so I could see how narcissistic I was being.

Basically, he is convinced that my silence is a hostile response intended to punish and manipulate him. I can see that being silent as a response to being irritated is a little hostile, but I don’t see myself as being a narcissistic, manipulative monster. He says I’m in denial, and has said that unless I come to terms with this reality and admit what I’m doing, he can’t be in this relationship.
Help. I feel like I’m going crazy. Do you have any thoughts?

tl;dr: I have a habit of going quiet during moments of frustration/irritation. My boyfriend says it's evidence of my narcissism and that I need to admit it, otherwise it's over.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all of your kind and thoughtful responses. I'm reading everything carefully, even if I don't reply.

Pick posted:

EDIT: Thank you so much for all of your kind and thoughtful responses. I'm reading everything carefully, even if I don't reply.

Pick posted:

Pick posted:

My [23F] rich parents [50s] got upset that I refused to give them money after 'everything they've done to raise me'Non-Romantic