Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

Theme park goon, you're going away for a very long time :byewhore:

# ? Oct 26, 2017 09:25

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# ? May 11, 2024 15:07

Slowpoke: Jul 7, 2007; Also, someone drew a sweet Slowpoke that I wanted to buy for an av but lost the image. I think the thread was people drawing Pokemon? I guess? I don't know. If someone could help find it I would love to buy it. Thanks.

Solice Kirsk posted:

That dude must have the healthiest gut bacteria in the world then. Like an intestinal system packed with billions of 1970's Jack LaLannes.

Holy poo poo this! As disturbing as the content is, the only thing that I kept thinking when it ended was, "Those cuts are going to get really infected".

# ? Oct 26, 2017 11:17

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

mfcrocker posted:

Theme park goon, you're going away for a very long time

Assuming it isn't someone cribbing a real story for a fake confession, admitting it in even an anonymous fashion openly where anyone could forward it along to the county DA's office was reeaal dumb since it might contain details that only the actual perv would know (did any news stories mention a popcorn purchase, for example). So yeah, probably.

e: and I'm kind of inclined to believe it's not a pretender because of the way he tries to downplay his perversion by saying he didn't know it was a minor since come the gently caress on there's no way anyone thinks a 13yo girl is 18+.

ReidRansom fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Oct 26, 2017

# ? Oct 26, 2017 14:43

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I am secretly controlling events from behind the scenes to torpedo the Anonymous Confession thread.

It started when I one of my very interesting feshs was posted but received zero response from goons in favour of discussing the best way to format the loving date. DD/MM/YYYY vs MM/DD/YYYY or yet another boring sadbrains post.

I've since posted another two that haven't received the attention I believe they're due so now I make up a load of crap that I know is going to derail the thread and might get it shut down.

I was the one who posted the Female on Male Domestic Violence Stair Push murder in the hopes of luring out the MRAs and starting a derail. I was also behind the Trump Assassination fesh but that didn't get posted.

Next time there is an epic derail, you know I'll be behind it. I feel like Blofield in Spectre when he finally steps out of the shadows and reveals he's been the real power behind all of Bond's enemies.

How does it feel thread?

Ahahahahahahahah!

Honestly I had no problem with the domestic-violence derail, that was p tame for GBS

and this thread doesn't need any help being torpedoed really, thanks for the content

quote:

I drink a lot. And I hate to submit this, cause you guys can get pretty vitriolic. But understandably, because goons are hard-headed on listening to advice.

When asked by professionals "How many drinks per day?", I go with 3. Little do they know it's 3 that have 3 shots a piece. So it's an issue. And that's the weekdays. Weekends can be free-for-alls.

I'm looking into the Sinclair Method, using Naltrexone, or something similar. I had a court ordered 3 AA sessions and the cult-ish vibe I got, I wasn't comfortable. They claim to be non-religious, but they are. And they like to hug.

The alcohol hasn't ever affected my career, or my personal relationships (The aforementioned DUI/AA didn't do either of those things, and I learned my loving lesson). But it's definitely an issue, and I can recognize it.

I've been in and out of therapy for a couple decades now, various medications. But the self-medicating has been the most effective, while being the most harmful. I have no desire for abstinence if moderation can be achieved. But realize that may be the only solution.

So. I decided I'd tap the hive mind of SA for opinions.

I also hit a kid on a bike when I was on LSD like 20 years ago. And the poster that said it was all in my head because I didn't get a bike made me lol.

WAS THAT THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Go to rehab alkie goon

If you're drinking ten shots a day and AA isn't helping, rehab would be the next logical step.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 14:57

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

loquacius posted:

Next time there is an epic derail, you know I'll be behind it.

Except there haven't been any epic derails that you've caused. :byewhore:

loquacius posted:

If you're drinking ten shots a day and AA isn't helping, rehab would be the next logical step.

Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 14:59

Lote: Aug 5, 2001; Place your bets

Pint of hard liquor a day is getting into alcohol withdrawal seizure and delirium tremens territory. Naltrexone is good. There are addiction psychiatrists out there and regular psychiatrists get training in it.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:22

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

lol puppetmaster goon you're really pathetic bro

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:26

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

limp_cheese posted:

hosed up if true.

I try to be the moral compass of these forums.

You're welcome.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:27

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Jastiger posted:

I try to be the moral compass of these forums.

You're welcome.

That explains a lot.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:40

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

bradzilla posted:

lol puppetmaster goon you're really pathetic bro

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:54

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

Jastiger posted:

I try to be the moral compass of these forums.

You're welcome.

is that why you're always pointing south

# ? Oct 26, 2017 15:58

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Was there ever a "correct date format" derail? I don't remember it.

That's how good of a puppetmaster you are. You've started one derail that was normal for this thread and tried to start others that didn't get off the ground or no one remembers.

I hope you are as competent in your actual life as you are as a puppetmaster.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:06

Slugworth: Feb 18, 2001; If two grown men can't make a pervert happy for a few minutes in order to watch a film about zombies, then maybe we should all just move to Iran!

ReidRansom posted:

come the gently caress on there's no way anyone thinks a 13yo girl is 18+.

I thought that 'cash me outside" girl was over 18, but turns out she's like 13 or something.

I should clarify, I'm not attracted to her, she's just older looking than 13. I don't want people thinking "13" or "most ghetto chick on earth" are things that get my motor going.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:09

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Lote posted:

Pint of hard liquor a day is getting into alcohol withdrawal seizure and delirium tremens territory. Naltrexone is good. There are addiction psychiatrists out there and regular psychiatrists get training in it.

What about two pints every other day?

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:15

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

limp_cheese posted:

Was there ever a "correct date format" derail? I don't remember it.

That's how good of a puppetmaster you are. You've started one derail that was normal for this thread and tried to start others that didn't get off the ground or no one remembers.

I hope you are as competent in your actual life as you are as a puppetmaster.

Worse: Fahrenheit vs Celsius

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:19

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Mycroft Holmes posted:

is that why you're always pointing south

The south sucks poo poo let's not loop forums bozo Jastiger in with the south

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:20

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Fahrenheit was the right answer btw

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:21

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Slugworth posted:

I should clarify, I'm not attracted to her, she's just older looking than 13. I don't want people thinking "13" or "most ghetto chick on earth" are things that get my motor going.

Too late, howbow dah?

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:23

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

fruit on the bottom posted:

Fahrenheit was the right answer btw

It wasn't. Celsius is the one true solution.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:23

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Slugworth posted:

I thought that 'cash me outside" girl was over 18, but turns out she's like 13 or something.

I should clarify, I'm attracted to her. "13" or "most ghetto chick on earth" are things that get my motor going.

TLDR; you monster.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:25

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Theophany posted:

It wasn't. Celsius is the one true solution.

Everything old is new again

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I'm still extremely proud of the temperature-scale derail

It's just such a good trolling topic because there are a lot of people out there who are very passionate about the metric system and really don't like the idea that people still use Imperial, and the idea that someone could actually think Imperial is better in any use-case whatsoever blows their minds

and in the case of Celsius they can't even articulate why other than "it's metric" and "water is so important to life"

If you need a big heated argument to erupt somewhere I'd highly recommend this one

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:44

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

an airplane can take off if you put it on a giant treadmill

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:52

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

circumcision is good

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:52

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

0=1

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:53

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

XBone has the wrong RAM

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:53

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

fruit on the bottom posted:

Everything old is new again

I actually just had a heated discussion ( :grin:

) about it with somebody over the telephone. Life imitates art.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:54

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Nooner posted:

an airplane can take off if you put it on a giant treadmill

fite me in irl

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:54

half coke half diet: Feb 3, 2006; I fight for all those men who have their nuts in a vice grip

I feel robbed by puppetmaster. If you gonna troll us be really epic, not just fake pushing an abusive partner down the stairs. Next time pull on the heart strings more deeply.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:55

ReidRansom: Oct 25, 2004

Slugworth posted:

I thought that 'cash me outside" girl was over 18, but turns out she's like 13 or something.

I should clarify, I'm not attracted to her, she's just older looking than 13. I don't want people thinking "13" or "most ghetto chick on earth" are things that get my motor going.

Iunno dude, I know the extreme ghetto act fuzzes things a bit, but that girl was still clearly not 18. Even being very generous, she isn't/wasn't definitely over 18 and anyone guessing she was that old would be on the fringes of the top end of the guessing range. Basically that margin of error should be throwing huge red flags and she's an oddity anyhow. Theme park ride queue masturbator is almost definitely a podophile paedophile.

# ? Oct 26, 2017 16:55

Tinestram: Jan 13, 2006; Excalibur? More like "Needle"; Grimey Drawer

"I don't tip, ever"

thread over

# ? Oct 26, 2017 17:01

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

runupon cracker posted:

"I don't tip, ever"

thread over

lol gently caress i missed that one, possibly the most powerful derailer too

# ? Oct 26, 2017 17:03

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

runupon cracker posted:

"I don't tip, ever"

thread over

It's actually super hosed-up that tipping culture exists to the extent it does in America; it's a sign of how badly our culture treats labor

Ideally people should just be paid a fair wage to begin with, rather than their employer shrugging and going "I dunno, ask the customers to pick up the slack if they want to, because I'm sure not doing it"

That said there are jobs where people manage to get paid waaaaaay more in tips than they ever would in wages so it is kind of a gray area

# ? Oct 26, 2017 17:03

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Celsius rules Fahrenheit drools

# ? Oct 26, 2017 17:04

vortmax: Sep 24, 2008; In meteorology, vorticity often refers to a measurement of the spin of horizontally flowing air about a vertical axis.

anon alkie goon posted:

I'm looking into the Sinclair Method, using Naltrexone, or something similar.

I started this just over two months ago, and no poo poo I've cut my drinking in half just by taking the pill an hour before I start. I was drinking 12-18oz or more of hard liquor every night (4-6+ "double" shots at the bar near my job). Now I'm down to 6-9oz, occasionally 12, but that's a "heavy" night. I don't drink at all on Sundays anymore. It's my only day off, so I just don't go near the bar, but I used to find "excuses" to go just a few weeks ago.

I've still got to cut back further, but the best part is that you don't have to quit drinking entirely. You can still get a drink when out with friends, as long as you always take the pill first.

I don't know if you want to PM me, but I can provide the copy of the Sinclair Method book I got from the C3 Foundation if you'd like. Go ask your doctor to prescribe naltrexone ASAP. (Y'know, as long as you're not on any opioid medication, since it'll completely block them.)

Also the objectively correct temperature scale is Rankine. Fight me.

vortmax fucked around with this message at 17:18 on Oct 26, 2017

# ? Oct 26, 2017 17:15