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Hellsau posted:What kind of hosed up crimes did that kid admit to in that suicide note? "I wish I had just died as a baby like I was supposed to. Mom it's your fault I'm killing myself and I hope it drives you to do the same"
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Oct 27, 2017 21:28
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Hellsau posted:What kind of hosed up crimes did that kid admit to in that suicide note? Either he's admitting to some horrible poo poo, or he's revealing/accusing someone of some horrible poo poo., or something horrible happened to him, or he said something really lovely to someone. My money is on accusing the mother of some abuse or mishap, might explain why she's so hosed up about it.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:29
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In the comments OP even admits if the note directly blamed mom for the suicide she'd be even worse off, and yet she still refuses to let it go. Like jfc lady just trust your husband and uncle on this one, if they're still stonewalling you after you've found out about it and are attacking them then it's clear they're really doing it for the sake of your family. If the note had anything to say that would make you/your mom feel better there would be no reason to hide it at this point.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:31
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Either die a hero, or live long enough for your in laws to get drunk and make you the villain.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:39
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gossipy aunt is probably worst one in the story, how does that even come up accidentally.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:41
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what, is your thanksgiving not a rehash of every lovely thing that's ever happened in your family? no? just me then?
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Oct 27, 2017 21:45
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:what, is your thanksgiving not a rehash of every lovely thing that's ever happened in your family? no? just me then? mine is more an extended reminder of why I don't talk to anyone in my family besides my mother, and even she will happily get in fights about why I'm a dumb hippie for not supporting Glorious Orange Leader
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Oct 27, 2017 21:49
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The fact that the husband and the uncle worked together and kept the secret about it for years makes me believe that there was some truly heinous poo poo inside that it might be best to leave buried.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:53
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the bigmouthed aunt really is the true villain there. now the op will always be wondering what the note said, and the husband and uncle's reaction to finding it pretty much guarantees that she will extremely regret knowing if she gets her husband to tell her. that lady (the aunt) fuckin suuuuuucks
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Oct 27, 2017 21:57
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:what, is your thanksgiving not a rehash of every lovely thing that's ever happened in your family? no? just me then? Mine is usually fun, food, someone getting into an argument with grandpa that he can't dig a fire pit in the front yard of a rent house, and activities.
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Oct 27, 2017 21:58
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:the bigmouthed aunt really is the true villain there. now the op will always be wondering what the note said, and the husband and uncle's reaction to finding it pretty much guarantees that she will extremely regret knowing if she gets her husband to tell her. that lady (the aunt) fuckin suuuuuucks Basically its going to take another year or so for Uncle/Husband to coordinate a story about what was "really" in the note; they'll have to invent something thats close enough to a reason to never divulge it, but soft enough that it won't cause too much emotional pain, and then "come clean" and hope for another decade of silence from Aunt Blabbermouth.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:00
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Not gonna lie, part of me hopes the OP pries it out of her husband because I’m really loving curious what that note said.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:05
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Bamabalacha posted:Not gonna lie, part of me hopes the OP pries it out of her husband because I’m really loving curious what that note said. My bet is pedophilia in some fashion.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:14
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Bamabalacha posted:Not gonna lie, part of me hopes the OP pries it out of her husband because I’m really loving curious what that note said. I guarantee this was the thought of every single person who read the OP. Anyone who didn't think this has an abnormal human psychology.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:25
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:a dark mirror of the evil stepmother story: Divorce this piece of poo poo.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:28
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Comment from the suicide note OP:quote:We couldn't figure out why he killed himself. We couldn't, for the life of us, put it together. Even his therapist was a bit taken aback. She came to the funeral and said she wish there had been signs. Now we know he told us, but we can't solve the mystery because the two of them won't say a darn thing.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:31
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Outrail posted:I guarantee this was the thought of every single person who read the OP. Anyone who didn't think this has an abnormal human psychology. I genuinely wouldnt care, but I wouldnt read a suicide note in general either.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:31
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He killed himself just after they’d gotten a home loan. His note simply said: “I lost another one to Ditech.”
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Oct 27, 2017 22:33
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:the bigmouthed aunt really is the true villain there. now the op will always be wondering what the note said, and the husband and uncle's reaction to finding it pretty much guarantees that she will extremely regret knowing if she gets her husband to tell her. that lady (the aunt) fuckin suuuuuucks I just dunno how that'd be something that slips out. She's just talking about her son's soccer practice or whatever and then transitions into "oh bee tee dubs, you know your brother that killed himself well he actually did leave a note" Like what is the context here. Was it like an anniversary of his death or something.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:34
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Admiral Ray posted:Divorce this piece of poo poo. You mean the husband who totally did the right thing?
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Oct 27, 2017 22:35
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ArbitraryC posted:You mean the husband who totally did the right thing? gently caress that. You let people deal with their own pain on their own terms, or you deal with them despising you for denying them that.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:36
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ArbitraryC posted:I just dunno how that'd be something that slips out. I'm a bored, selfish, loudmouth moron with no sense of tact who cannot shut the gently caress up to save my loved ones a world of hurt if it means I can inject a bright hot spark of drama into my life and gently caress everyone else. Dunno what the aunt's problem is.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:41
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Outrail posted:I'm a bored, selfish, loudmouth moron with no sense of tact who cannot shut the gently caress up to save my loved ones a world of hurt if it means I can inject a bright hot spark of drama into my life and gently caress everyone else. Dunno what the aunt's problem is. Don’t sign my posts
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Oct 27, 2017 22:42
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I'm not saying that the husband and uncle didn't act out of what they see as being in the interest of the op and mother, but I absolutely would divorce and never speak to anyone that did that poo poo to me.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:42
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Admiral Ray posted:gently caress that. You let people deal with their own pain on their own terms, or you deal with them despising you for denying them that. quote:By 20 my brother took his own life. No note, nothing. It destroyed my mother who basically laid on the couch for the next dozen years. She had a total breakdown and had to move in with her brother (my uncle)... Sounds like mom was dealing with her own pain by shutting the door to the brothers room and never moving on. She would literally have never found the note in the first place. Giving her the note is not allowing her to deal with it on her terms, it's forcing her to deal with it on the brother's terms
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Oct 27, 2017 22:43
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The husband's only mistake was not sticking to the story no matter what aunt big mouth says. What note? What is she talking about? Maybe she misunderstood uncle so and so.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:44
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tactlessbastard posted:The husband's only mistake was not sticking to the story no matter what aunt big mouth says. What note? What is she talking about? Maybe she misunderstood uncle so and so. The biggest mistake in the entire family was the mom and dad dating, then subsequently having children. Classic mistake, but it can be easily avoided by keeping the 2 D's in mind at all times: Don't Date
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Oct 27, 2017 22:46
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Admiral Ray posted:gently caress that. You let people deal with their own pain on their own terms, or you deal with them despising you for denying them that. If you found evidence that your late brother was a literal war criminal or something equally heinous would you tell your elderly parents and his widow or just burn it and never think of it again? I dunno, I might want to tell them anyway. It's kind of a lovely situation either way. Whether or not you agree with them you have to respect the husband for locking that poo poo down and never telling anyone, unlike the loudmouth uncle and his spouse.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:47
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Outrail posted:Whether or not you agree with them you have to respect the husband for locking that poo poo down and never telling anyone, unlike the loudmouth uncle and his spouse. No, you really don't. It was never his decision to make.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:51
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With the health problems it was a simple blaming the mother for 20 years of cumulative pain
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Oct 27, 2017 22:52
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Counterpoint: what if the suicide note said he was being abused by the uncle
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Oct 27, 2017 22:52
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i like nice words
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Outrail posted:If you found evidence that your late brother was a literal war criminal or something equally heinous would you tell your elderly parents and his widow or just burn it and never think of it again? I dunno, I might want to tell them anyway. It's kind of a lovely situation either way. I would tell them there was a note, at the very least, and not remove the decision to read it from them.
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Oct 27, 2017 22:52
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Admiral Ray posted:I would tell them there was a note, at the very least, and not remove the decision to read it from them. If the note specifically blamed the mother for his suicide and in turn she killed himself would you just dust off your hands and walk away thinking you did the right thing? Like obviously if they're hiding it the contents of the note are hurtful to the people they're hiding it from. The mother already took it super harsh, you think she'd have been better off seeing whatever it was that they hid?
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Oct 27, 2017 23:09
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I think it was for the moms sake. the OP says she basically collapsed for over a decade due to her sons suicide, imagine what her reaction would be if the note blamed her. you can argue that it was still wrong of the husband and uncle but I think it's pretty clear they thought revealing the note would quite possibly result in another death
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Oct 27, 2017 23:12
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ArbitraryC posted:If the note specifically blamed the mother for his suicide and in turn she killed himself would you just dust off your hands and walk away thinking you did the right thing? Like obviously if they're hiding it the contents of the note are hurtful to the people they're hiding it from. The mother already took it super harsh, you think she'd have been better off seeing whatever it was that they hid? The note probably did blame the mother and the sister and every other person, but that's not the point. I wouldn't destroy it.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:17
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Admiral Ray posted:The note probably did blame the mother and the sister and every other person, but that's not the point. I wouldn't destroy it. It's not the point that the consequences for sharing it could be (and likely would have been considering they're still stonewalling) so much worse than hiding it? At this point they literally have nothing to gain by not saying anything and their only possible motive is obviously a just one.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:20
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You never take such a huge decision away from another person. Never. When it was that woman a few pages ago who went and removed every single memento and photo of her husband's late wife, everyone tore her apart. Because how dare anyone do something like that. Yes, the letter may have hurt, but nothing gives a person the right to just destroy that. Steal that closure from a hurting mother and sister.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:20
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ArbitraryC posted:It's not the point that the consequences for sharing it could be (and likely would have been considering they're still stonewalling) so much worse than hiding it? At this point they literally have nothing to gain by not saying anything and their only possible motive is obviously a just one. I don't give a gently caress about their motive, and it's obvious what it was: to protect the mother and sister. That doesn't mean they did the right, or wrong thing. I'm saying that I 100% understand where the OP is coming from in feeling betrayed and that I, if I were in the same position, would never speak to the husband or uncle again.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:22
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Admiral Ray posted:I don't give a gently caress about their motive, and it's obvious what it was: to protect the mother and sister. That doesn't mean they did the right, or wrong thing. I'm saying that I 100% understand where the OP is coming from in feeling betrayed and that I, if I were in the same position, would never speak to the husband or uncle again. So to ask you the question again would you have considered it a better outcome if they shared the note and the mom killed herself?
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Oct 27, 2017 23:24
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ArbitraryC posted:So to ask you the question again would you have considered it a better outcome if they shared the note and the mom killed herself? No, and that doesn't change my response knowing it was withheld.
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Oct 27, 2017 23:26
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