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VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
Louis CK is gonna be the next big name to go down for being a sex predator, right?

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fuck the ROW
Aug 29, 2008

by zen death robot

RFC2324 posted:

why not?

They're too fast!

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

VanSandman posted:

Louis CK is gonna be the next big name to go down for being a sex predator, right?

Nah, I think it's gonna be something totally out of left field. Like Bette Midler or something.

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

i hope it's Hilary

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
We did have that one confession years back saying that she pays guys to gently caress her.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


RFC2324 posted:

i hope it's Hilary

Swank does seem pretty dominant.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
The most surprising Clinton sex scandal at this point would be them loving each other.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

My money is on Tom Hanks.

Completely out of left field for me would be Ryan Reynolds. That dude just seems like such an easy going guy I can't picture him being all rapey.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

limp_cheese posted:

My money is on Tom Hanks.

This would probably crush the hearts of a sizeable percentage of the US.



So....sure, why not?

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy

VanSandman posted:

Louis CK is gonna be the next big name to go down for being a sex predator, right?

I mean if literally everyone knowing that he traps women in rooms to masturbate in front of them isn't enough to take him down I'm not sure what will be

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad! :emo:
He loving did it to Webby from duck tales that sick filth

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

mfcrocker posted:

I mean if literally everyone knowing that he traps women in rooms to masturbate in front of them isn't enough to take him down I'm not sure what will be

Allegedly he did this to Garfunkle and Oates

Poor Kate Micucci eyes are buggy enough w/o some weirdo jerkin it.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

bunnyofdoom posted:

He loving did it to Webby from duck tales that sick filth

The new Webby wouldn't put up with that poo poo

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Skipping a confession of someone creeping over the children from Stranger Things. Gross.

Anyway here's a story written in redneck dialect

quote:

Here's a tale of justice gone wrong and how I killed an alien that was trying to abduct my cousin. He and me was out bush camping like half a mile from his place, me being 19 and him about 11. Like any kid he's into reading all the things down at the library about ghosts and bigfeet and aliens and had a good imagination in him so he's just about a little tense at being a bit out in the woods overnight. My uncle asked me to do this cause he says his kid just needs a mite of practice facing his fears.

At like 0200 he shakes me awake and whispers that there's an alien, one of them white ones with big eyes, outside the tent trying to abduct him and do weird scientific stuff on him. Now I'm a mite groggy since I'd been sleeping off a few sips with my friend Danny Jack, but just to reassure him I grab my trusty little Rutger .22 target gun and take a look outside.

Well I poo poo you not, I see a white thing with a round head and huge eyes levitating like that Leviticus fellow out from behind a tree. It looks exactly like them things in his library books that they got in Roswell and the pentagon. It's coming right for me so I shoot like six times and it falls down, so I empty my mag in to it, grab the kid and a flashlight and just run like hell back to his house.

Next morning I go back with a camera and to get my tent and poo poo, and turns out our neighbor across the field heard the bullets I was shooting, and went out there earlier and he's got a deputy and a game warden with him. I tell them all what happened and the next thing I know I'm being arrested for illegally shooting one of them big indangered owls I didn't even know we got around here.

My uncle bails me out of jail, and talks to the judge a bit and they bring it down to a misdemeaner and hit me with a fine (like almost 500 bucks) and don't give me my gun back ever and I have to take a responsible hunter class. Anyway being Halloween and all 'pertecting' my cousin (as my uncle says it at every Christmas since then) from an alien like that was one of the scariest things that's ever been happening to me ever so it seemed like the time to tell it to you folks.

quote:

Hey guys, it's the "mysterious puppet master who can get anyone banned".

I'd love to take credit for our recently permbanned, and I did report him. But I think he would have gone down without my nudge. And I mostly get people long probs, not bans.

My methods are more subtle. At the high level: I don't directly troll the person I'm picking on. I give positive feedback to people who are not giving them the feedback/attention they like, while mostly ignoring their posts. That, coupled with stalking their post history and a few PMs to my like minded puppets tends to get the ball rolling.

Don't shitpost kids!

PS: I haven't upper decked anyone lately, but I fart in an elevator the other day. Dude had a Trump hat, so I figured he liked fart smell.

dance, puppets, dance

DandyLion
Jun 24, 2010
disrespectul Deciever

Nobody would expect that the very architect of this thread would also be its secret puppetmaster

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

lol puppetmaster, FAU just happened to look at the "who should be banned" thread and made a decision to get rid of him. you didn't do poo poo

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

DandyLion posted:

Nobody would expect that the very architect of this thread would also be its secret puppetmaster

i thought it was an open secret loquacious writes them all?

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
Loq is one of the most prolific writers of our time!

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

mfcrocker posted:

I mean if literally everyone knowing that he traps women in rooms to masturbate in front of them isn't enough to take him down I'm not sure what will be

See I hear this from people on the internet and then I try and find a primary source and there's nothing.

There are only anonymous internet commenters and that Jezebel article saying Jen Kirkman was talking about him when Jen Kirkman said "I wasn't referring to Louis CK stop saying that you idiots"

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

https://www.avclub.com/jen-kirkman-sets-the-record-straight-on-louis-ck-and-th-1818543488

Jen Kirkman on the record saying nothing happened and she thinks there's nothing behind the rumors

Indolent Bastard
Oct 26, 2007

I WON THIS AMAZING AVATAR! I'M A WINNER! WOOOOO!

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

https://www.avclub.com/jen-kirkman-sets-the-record-straight-on-louis-ck-and-th-1818543488

Jen Kirkman on the record saying nothing happened and she thinks there's nothing behind the rumors

Clearly a pawn of the patriarchy.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
I recall the Flatwoods Monster was probably barn owls.

I'd probably have done something similar, but I was basically the 11 year old in that equation and greys still spook me.

mfcrocker
Jan 31, 2004



Hot Rope Guy

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

See I hear this from people on the internet and then I try and find a primary source and there's nothing.

There are only anonymous internet commenters and that Jezebel article saying Jen Kirkman was talking about him when Jen Kirkman said "I wasn't referring to Louis CK stop saying that you idiots"

Yeah I mean it's just another open secret in Hollywood :shrug:

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

See I hear this from people on the internet and then I try and find a primary source and there's nothing.

There are only anonymous internet commenters and that Jezebel article saying Jen Kirkman was talking about him when Jen Kirkman said "I wasn't referring to Louis CK stop saying that you idiots"

I also seem to recall another comedian coming forward and admitting that the rumors were probably about him. I want to say it was Stanhope but idk

Gumbel2Gumbel
Apr 28, 2010

That's a tough call because Stanhope is a hopeless booze addicted pervert who doesn't give a gently caress so either he's telling the truth or lying about it because he thinks it's funny so we know nothing about it

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

maskenfreiheit posted:

Allegedly he did this to Garfunkle and Oates

Poor Kate Micucci eyes are buggy enough w/o some weirdo jerkin it.

:( Being mean to Kate Micucci is like kicking a puppy

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
I'm actually Louis CK's penis IRL, and I can tell you that none of it is true.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
one time i ate wagon-wheel shaped pasta and got the poops so bad and so radically that i could see right there in the toilet that a whole entire wagon wheel had emerged from my butthole intact

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Jen Kirkman is also straight-up nuts, but her nutsness might be confined specifically to politics stuff, I dunno, I don't follow her in any other context

blarzgh
Apr 14, 2009

SNITCHIN' RANDY
Grimey Drawer

Pick posted:

one time i ate wagon-wheel shaped pasta and got the poops so bad and so radically that i could see right there in the toilet that a whole entire wagon wheel had emerged from my butthole intact

Always looking at wheels and seeing regrets, this one.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

Pick posted:

one time i ate wagon-wheel shaped pasta and got the poops so bad and so radically that i could see right there in the toilet that a whole entire wagon wheel had emerged from my butthole intact

Always, always spend the extra time to caulk the wagon

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

one time i ate wagon-wheel shaped pasta and got the poops so bad and so radically that i could see right there in the toilet that a whole entire wagon wheel had emerged from my butthole intact

and now i see a freshly squeeed butt juice wagon wheel being greeding shoved back into an eac mouth when i look at your av



thanks for that pick! i'm off to eat lunch

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama any way you feel

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

maskenfreiheit posted:

and now i see a freshly squeeed butt juice wagon wheel being greeding shoved back into an eac mouth when i look at your av

All I see is some kind of pastry?

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Pick posted:

one time i ate wagon-wheel shaped pasta and got the poops so bad and so radically that i could see right there in the toilet that a whole entire wagon wheel had emerged from my butthole intact

Chew your gosh dang food, pick

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

All I see is some kind of pastry?

Doritos

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.
One time when I had alcohol poisoning on the drive back up to Chicago from New Orleans we pulled over and I threw up whole kernels of popcorn. I hadn't eaten popcorn at all so we were all very confused.

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

Solice Kirsk posted:

One time when I had alcohol poisoning on the drive back up to Chicago from New Orleans we pulled over and I threw up whole kernels of popcorn. I hadn't eaten popcorn at all so we were all very confused.

that's some strong corn whiskey

Lote
Aug 5, 2001

Place your bets

Solice Kirsk posted:

One time when I had alcohol poisoning on the drive back up to Chicago from New Orleans we pulled over and I threw up whole kernels of popcorn. I hadn't eaten popcorn at all so we were all very confused.

You must have gotten owned pretty bad.

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kalel
Jun 19, 2012

loquacius posted:

rock me mama like a wagon wheel, rock me mama any way you feel

My confession is that I get irrationally uncomfortable and angry when that song comes on the radio. It's just so awful, it's like an anti-song

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