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maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
GF's Ex's Facebook Page Says They Are Still In Relationship (self.dating)

quote:

My Gf has pictures on her profile and some are of her ex. I went to his profile out of curiosity and in the about section it says they are in a relationship.

She insists they are not together but I am curious why the profile would show that they are still together. Perhaps he is refusing to accept a request to end on facebook? Maybe she's hiding it? Thoughts?


either person in a relationship can end it on facebook... if it says "in a relationship with" then you're the side dick

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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Nothing wrong with being the side dick

Bored
Jul 26, 2007

Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

maskenfreiheit posted:

GF's Ex's Facebook Page Says They Are Still In Relationship (self.dating)



either person in a relationship can end it on facebook... if it says "in a relationship with" then you're the side dick

But, can't you just say that you are in a relationship with whoever? As long as hers doesn't say she's in a relationship with the ex, they should be fine. I think mine used to say I was married to my husband and he didn't have Facebook.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [28 M] and my Wife[29 F] together for 6 years, she admitted to talking with someone else.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
I[22M] keep seeing girl[20sF] spinning; should I ask if ok or let sleeping horses lay?

quote:

Hi, so my apartment complex is set up so our units face each other with about a broomsticks space apart. They come with blinds but my cat ruined mine so they hang apart so that half of the window is exposed. My neighbor always leaves her blinds pulled up

What is starting to concern me is that I often see her through the window spinning. I honestly can't imagine why a grown person would spin around in circles multiple times a day. I can't say exactly how long because I don't want to be creepy and stare through the window, but if I had to guess I'd say she does it for 10-20 minutes at a time

I'm just really confused and I tried googling it but I just got a bunch of links about vertigo. I guess I'm wondering if I should do anything or ask her if she is ok next time I see her outside. or is it not my place?

tl;dr: keep seeing neighbor spinning in circles for minutes at a time

sleepwalkers
Dec 7, 2008


Bored posted:

But, can't you just say that you are in a relationship with whoever? As long as hers doesn't say she's in a relationship with the ex, they should be fine. I think mine used to say I was married to my husband and he didn't have Facebook.

Anyone can end a relationship on Facebook. If you want to involve another person in creating a new relationship status, you need approval from them, otherwise it'll just say "Bored is in a relationship."

e: I should say if you want to involve another person's profile. At least that was the case when I last used that feature, any familial or romantic relationship status stuff updated by one person needed the counterpart's approval to show up.

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

Bored posted:

But, can't you just say that you are in a relationship with whoever? As long as hers doesn't say she's in a relationship with the ex, they should be fine. I think mine used to say I was married to my husband and he didn't have Facebook.

When I last used FB, you could list yourself as "in a relationship", or "in a relationship with" and it'd send a confirmation to the other person, and either person could end it.

edit: beaten

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Haifisch posted:

I[22M] keep seeing girl[20sF] spinning; should I ask if ok or let sleeping horses lay?

Quick legal high.


Comedy option spin the the opposite direction to undue her spinning

Ride The Gravitron fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Nov 7, 2017

Pulvis Sumus
Jul 27, 2011

Haifisch posted:

I[22M] keep seeing girl[20sF] spinning; should I ask if ok or let sleeping horses lay?

She's a Sufi.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
The dramatic reveal:

OP posted:

Oh haha it turns out she was playing with her dog, having him chase a toy while she spun in circles

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Anticlimax.txt

nonathlon
Jul 9, 2004
And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I got confused for a woman when I had long hair all the time. People approaching me in the grocery store "excuse me, ma'am.. I mean, sir" when I turned around. Happens a lot.

What I was trying to get at was those guys thought women should never have short hair (because they'd be mistaken for a dude) but never thought of the opposite restriction, i.e. guys should never have long hair, for fear of being mistaken for a woman. Which kind of points at some sublimated fear about themselves.

Anyway, material:

quote:

My [28M] former colleague and friend [49F] felt insulted after I asked if the apartment she had in Japan had a Japanese-style toilet

I am a 28-year old male who teaches English in a foreign country. At the previous university I worked at the only other foreigner in my department was a 49-year old woman, who I will call “Suzanne” (I will call myself “Ben”).

Suzanne is a long-time English teacher who started work in her field in her early 20’s and has experience in various countries. Despite our age difference and our difference in origin and experiences we became very good friends. We discussed global politics, English teaching, travel experiences, and the cultures of different countries in our spare time. She gave me a lot of advice on matters related to English teaching and how to deal with your employers and prospective employers and I considered her to be a mentor. We hosted English meetup groups together. She sent me electronic copies of foreign language textbooks and teaching materials. We often socialized with the school’s other English teachers, most of whom were about my age, on weekends. We worked together for about a year.

The two of us left the previous university and went to new universities to begin new teaching assignments. The two of us remained in contact, keeping ourselves up to date on what is going on in our lives, until recently. I wanted to ask Suzanne about her experiences teaching in Japan. In my current country most toilets are “squat” style, but out of consideration for foreign teachers the universities install sit-down ones in the apartments of foreigners. I was wondering whether Suzanne’s Japanese employers had the same level of consideration for their foreign teachers. Alas, the exchange went bad.

Suzanne: ben, i have finally got (chat program) running on my phone. this is my ID: (removed) Send me a friend request if you want.
r you going on holiday at the end of semester? if so where are you planning to go?

Me: Hey!I finally got (chat program) on my new phone so it's sent :) For holiday I haven't decided. I don't really know when my holiday begins since I will likely have summer work to do. AFAIK (train station) is hooked up to (another city). I dunno if it goes to (place in another city) or (place in another city) but once I get my passport back (it should be within a week or so) I can go to (another city) at my leisure. Honestly I'm not sure if I will vote in the presidential election - no matter what my state will be going to Trump and there's little I can do about it. When you taught in Japan did you have a Japanese toilet in your room? I wonder what effect Brexit would have on companies like Easyjet (based in Luton) and Ryanair.

Suzanne: no Japanese toilet is ever put in the same space as the washroom, or any other room.

Me: Its that Japanese standard of cleanliness, isn't it?
When you had an apartment in Japan did they give you the Japanese-style squat toilet?
Anyhow I had dinner with a longtime English teacher yesterday and he said that there are two kinds of students at (my new place of employment) (I described some featured of my new workplace in case she wanted to consider applying there for a job)

Suzanne: ben, You are 28 but have the sniggering mentality of a 12 year old, which is why you have sent me two emails now asking me pointless questions about toilets.
Your attitude also shows that you have you have no respect for me.
Read the following two words carefully, and make sure you do:
gently caress off.

I was mortified when I received this e-mail. It came with zero warning (IRL I don’t remember hearing her say not to talk about this topic), and I did not intend to be “sniggering” nor was I trying to disrespect her. If she didn’t want to talk about it anymore I would have been happy to stop. I was only trying to comment on cultural differences (the Japanese have a higher reputation for cleanliness compared to those in the country I am in right now).

On the advice of a sibling I sent this apology letter, but received no reply.

Suzanne,
I am sorry for offending you; I was not intending to act in a disrespectful manner. I just wanted to learn more about your life in Japan. If there's anything you don't wish to discuss or don't think is appropriate I'll be happy to not discuss them.
I value your friendship and I wish you the best.

There was no further correspondence after this point.

I would like to tell my former colleagues and friends at the former university about what happened (since Suzanne and I were good friends up to this point), and I think showing the e-mail chain would be the best way of doing so (and since I’m in a different city I can’t show them the e-mail IRL). However I also do not want to see this forwarded so much as it could cause a lot of problems for her.

Questions: 1. Does this mean in the future I should avoid discussing things about bathrooms with friends (unless they are very close or family) 2. Is it acceptable to forward this e-mail to show people how this occurred? (While asking people not to forward it beyond them)

tl;dr: My former colleague and friend felt offended when I asked her if her apartment in Japan had a Japanese toilet.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Reddit seems to agree that his questions weren’t unreasonable, and one person from Asia says that he really should avoid the squat toilets but everyone thinks that sending the email chain is weird af

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Do you have an American or Japanese illegal party toilet?

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider
Nothing illegal about it, though it’s certainly considered shameful.

nonathlon
Jul 9, 2004
And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

fruit on the bottom posted:

Reddit seems to agree that his questions weren’t unreasonable

Of course not. They're fascinated with toilets. In Japan.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
It could come up in a conversation normally, but it was bizarre how he dropped it in between sentences about politics. If I got that I'd 100% think he was a gross fetishist. They always think they're so clever and discreet, and yet

Trauma Dog 3000
Aug 30, 2017

by SA Support Robot

Anne Whateley posted:

It could come up in a conversation normally, but it was bizarre how he dropped it in between sentences about politics. If I got that I'd 100% think he was a gross fetishist. They always think they're so clever and discreet, and yet

Do they make you want to vomit??? How much, and what colour is it. Precisely.

Luna Was Here
Mar 21, 2013

Lipstick Apathy
wrong thread ignore me im a dumbass

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004

outlier posted:

What I was trying to get at was those guys thought women should never have short hair (because they'd be mistaken for a dude) but never thought of the opposite restriction, i.e. guys should never have long hair, for fear of being mistaken for a woman. Which kind of points at some sublimated fear about themselves.

Anyway, material:

she's a 48 year old english teacher of course she's a sensitive sally - she's a total failure at the real world. she doesn't have 20 years experience, she has 1 year experience repeated 20x. big difference


so maybe op was slightly out of line but her response is way off the handle, because his minor transgression atop the deep wounds left by being a 40 something ESL teacher creates a wound too deep

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Luna Was Here posted:

wrong thread ignore me im a dumbass

Nah, it fits.

Lucid Nonsense
Aug 6, 2009

Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day

Haifisch posted:

The dramatic reveal:

I thought it was going to be a cat watching a neighboring cat.

Lucid Nonsense
Aug 6, 2009

Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day

fruit on the bottom posted:

Nothing illegal about it, though it’s certainly considered shameful.

A teacha talkin' about he toilet... a shameful teacha

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug

quote:

1. Does this mean in the future I should avoid discussing things about bathrooms with friends (unless they are very close or family)

This is the most autistic sentence I've ever read

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

I[22M] keep seeing girl[20sF] spinning; should I ask if ok or let sleeping horses lay?

So not like a spinning class.

Don't ruin this. Let her spin.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

outlier posted:

What I was trying to get at was those guys thought women should never have short hair (because they'd be mistaken for a dude) but never thought of the opposite restriction, i.e. guys should never have long hair, for fear of being mistaken for a woman. Which kind of points at some sublimated fear about themselves.

Anyway, material:

Why would you ask about these things to someone, especially the squat toilet? What a weirdo.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
"Lol tell me about ur poo poo adventures in Japan, i hear they are really clean!!!"

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Admiral Ray posted:

"Lol tell me about ur poo poo adventures in Japan, i hear they are really clean!!!"

Tell me about the toilets of your homeland, Muad'dib.

navier-stoked
Aug 30, 2004

Pvt.Scott posted:

I like short hair. I blame my mother’s love of Audrey Hepburn movies. If some dudes aren’t into the John Dark thing, that’s more lesbians for me to accidentally hit on at parties, anyway. :smug:

:same:

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow:

My girlfriend [26F] of three years takes drinks I [25M] put in the fridge for work the next dayRelationships (self.relationships)

quote:

Hi r/relationships,

This may seem like a stupid problem to have but it's been driving me insane.

Been with girlfriend, who I'll call "Jenna" from here on out for three years, lived together for two.

For basically my entire adult life, I've been picking up drinks ahead of time for work (red bull, soda, whatever) so I won't have to allot extra time in the morning for a gas station stop.

For some reason, the last couple of months I'll get up in the morning and my beverage will be gone. Which means I don't get any sort of drink unless it's available at work because grabbing my drink is the last thing I do before leaving for work, so I don't have enough time to stop somewhere.

I asked Jenna and she apologized and said she didn't realize I was "saving" it (I wasnt saving it really, most of the time my drinks go into the fridge for less than 24 hours before they come out again). So okay, mystery solved.

Two days later, it happens again. Okay, My fault, because while I did ask her of she took my drink, I did not outright ask her not to do it again.

So I get home later that day and ask her not to keep taking my drinks without at least warning me so I know to leave myself extra time. She apologizes again and all is well.

Until she does it again. The next day.

I get home and ask her to stop taking my drinks as it's getting really frustrating. She loses her poo poo, saying it's her house too and she can take "whatever the gently caress she wants" out of the fridge because "that's how it works when you live somewhere." She told me she can't remember to tell me when she does take my drinks and that she shouldn't have to and to just have to deal with it. She says I'm being "overly sensitive" and that they're just energy drinks/soda so it's not a big deal.

Is she right? Should I just let it go and start getting up earlier instead? I mean, she's right, it is her house too, but she can't even let me know when she does it?

Help me out here, r/relationships

Tl:Dr gf keeps taking things out of the fridge that I buy to take to work. Refuses to warn me when she does so I can leave extra time before work, also refuses to stop consuming the things I leave behind. Am I being sensitive like she says?

Personally I'd move out and leave behind a case of Red Bull

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

maskenfreiheit posted:

I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow:

My girlfriend [26F] of three years takes drinks I [25M] put in the fridge for work the next dayRelationships (self.relationships)


Personally I'd move out and leave behind a case of Red Bull
Comments expand on the crazy even more:

quote:

She's already made it quite clear that she's "not responsible" for replacing any of my beverages that she takes.

I'm not even sure why she's started now, she did not do this until recently.

quote:

I tried talking to her about it last night, and when I tried telling her that it really starts my day off on the wrong foot, she basically plugged her ears with her fingers and just kept repeating that it's her fridge too and she'll take what she wants.

Honestly it's concerning. She was quite normal and level headed for the most part until a few months ago.

quote:

I'm not sure what's going on. We moved (at her request) to a new area six months ago. First couple months were okay, but after that she started getting..irritable? She's been flying off the handle and throwing tantrums a lot.

She also has been refusing to find a job, which is a whole other issue on its own. She keeps saying she wants to write a book, which is odd because she never writes and has never shown a particular interest in it
I think you might have moved over an indian burial ground, OP.

Or he needs to sever and she needs to get therapy, but where's the fun in that?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Haifisch posted:

Comments expand on the crazy even more:



I think you might have moved over an indian burial ground, OP.

Or he needs to sever and she needs to get therapy, but where's the fun in that?

Brain tumor. :smith:

navier-stoked
Aug 30, 2004

Haifisch posted:

Comments expand on the crazy even more:



I think you might have moved over an indian burial ground, OP.

Or he needs to sever and she needs to get therapy, but where's the fun in that?

OP needs to get one of those little lockable cages that are intended for (use by) college kids or whatever and lock his drinks in that, then record the inevitable meltdown for posterity.

edit: for clarity in case you lock college kids in cages

Agentdark
Dec 30, 2007
Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much? :hehe:

Hey, that sounds like my ex. Turns out she was undiagnosed bi-polar, had a psychotic break, tried to light my stuff on fire on joined a cult.

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

Agentdark posted:

Hey, that sounds like my ex. Turns out she was undiagnosed bi-polar, had a psychotic break, tried to light my stuff on fire on joined a cult.

Sounds like she really dodged a bullet.







I kid I kid

christmas boots fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Nov 8, 2017

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

maskenfreiheit posted:

I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow:

My girlfriend [26F] of three years takes drinks I [25M] put in the fridge for work the next dayRelationships (self.relationships)


Personally I'd move out and leave behind a case of Red Bull

I don't get why this is such a difficult problem, just buy a whole goddamn case of Red Bull and stick several cans in the fridge.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Admiral Ray posted:

Why would you ask about these things to someone, especially the squat toilet? What a weirdo.

I could almost see it as a mundane conversation thing if they were already having a conversation about cultural differences and stuff he found odd having to adapt to. That he interjected talking about toilets between trump and brexit then had a followup email dedicated to the topic does come across as super weird though.

I bet they have a history of him being inappropriate, her response is so strong. Even when he's being a weirdo about it you'd think she'd just ignore him and use it for gossip fodder later, that she felt the need to tell him off that strongly probably means he's been a creep before too.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

maskenfreiheit posted:

I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow:

My girlfriend [26F] of three years takes drinks I [25M] put in the fridge for work the next dayRelationships (self.relationships)


Personally I'd move out and leave behind a case of Red Bull

I'm trying to picture their dynamic. Like OP packs his lunch for the next day and wakes up to his unemployed girlfriend eating it while settling into her daily 12 hour marathon of netflix. "It's my fridge too!!!"

coolskull
Nov 11, 2007

clearly op has to double down on her pettiness and buy a separate nicer fridge which is Not Hers

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Drunk Nerds
Jan 25, 2011

Just close your eyes
Fun Shoe
Worried about kidnapped in texas

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