/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Drunk Nerds posted:

Worried about kidnapped in texas

Waiting to see it on the news.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 08:11

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# ? Jun 13, 2024 01:22

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Hoping it�s not real. But let�s have this heart warmer instead

My [27F] husband [32M] cried, I didn't say anything. Did I handle this correctly?

quote:

u/amarisss
My husband and I have been married for 3 years, together 7. We have a happy, loving, marriage with no serious problems. He's a really good husband and person in general and I think I'm pretty lucky to be his wife.

Our first baby was born three weeks ago and things have been overwhelming for both of us (in a good way, mostly). We're adjusting to life as a family pretty well in my opinion.

Last night I was feeding her while I sat beside him on the couch. He was focused on TV as far as I could tell. I was looking down at the baby then glanced up (not sure why) and I noticed my husband looking at us with tears in his eyes. We looked at each other for like a second or two then I shifted my eyes back to the baby. I managed not to ugly cry but I still teared up. It was such a sweet moment.

He isn't an emotional person and this was the first time I've seen tears in his eyes. I would love to talk about it but I've resisted that urge because I don't want to make him uncomfortable. However, as I put more thought into it I'm wondering if I'm handling this appropriately.

What's your take on this? Should I mention it to him? Am I totally overthinking?

tl;dr: My husband had tears in his eyes while I fed our daughter last night. He isn't emotional and this was the first time seeing him cry. I looked back at the baby and didn't say anything. We haven't talked about it. I'm not sure if I handled it appropriately. I don't want my husband to feel like I'm shaming him.

This, along with the end of American Beauty, the short story Bicentennial Man and Remembrance Sunday is when it�s OK for men to cry and you don�t really need to question it.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 09:22

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Impersonating a police officer is not a crime in Texas? "This is a court matter." Cool.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 09:24

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

How do I (33/f) tell my friends (20s-40s M/F) to stop inviting other people to our get-togethers in a nice way?

quote:

u/SandwichOtter
This is probably petty and if I'm just being a jerk, let me have it, but here goes.

My husband and I have had a group of close friends for many years. Some of them we've known for a decade or longer, some not as long.

Like a lot of people, we also have a wider friend circle and friends of friends that are varying degrees of closeness/intimacy. Some of these people I don't actually like or don't know very well. They're just acquaintances that orbit within our group of friends.

The problem arises because there seem to be no boundaries about friend gatherings anymore. Every time I try to have an intimate gathering of our closest friends, somehow all these random people get invited.

I think part of the problem is that when we were younger we would have big house parties. We met a lot of our friends through playing music together and we would have house shows where you actually wanted a lot of people to show up so you could expand the reach of your music.

Now, however, we're older and my husband and I have a kid and we can't throw big parties anymore. We also both tend to be more introverted and prefer smaller gatherings.

Somehow though, even when I explicitly say "this will be a small gathering" or "please don't invite other people" we still get people we didn't invite showing up.

For example, a few weeks ago we wanted to have a very small gathering at our house in memory of a friend who had passed away. It was the fifth anniversary of their death. I sent a private message to the people we wanted to invite and even said in the message that this would be a very small and intimate gathering. Well, not only did people we didn't invite show up, but they even invited someone we don't know. It's frustrating to me because I want to feel relaxed and comfortable in my own house around my closest friends and I don't feel that way when there's people I don't know there.

So now Thanksgiving is coming up and some of our friends usually don't have a place to go so we want to invite them to our house. I'm just afraid that we will get uninvited people again. I don't know how else to word this without saying "Only the specific people receiving this message are invited. Do not mention this or invite anyone else."

Maybe that's just how I need to go but it seems so jerky. We have one friend in particular who just doesn't understand why anyone would want boundaries like this. He thinks everyone he meets is his new best friend.

So, how should I word this to prevent hurt feelings?

tldr: How do I nicely tell my friends to stop inviting extra people to intimate gatherings?

I don�t think you need to be polite. This is the time to drop people who invite random unknowns to your house when you have a child. Or invite random unknowns to a private memorial gathering. That�s just crass.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 09:49

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Milotic posted:

How do I (33/f) tell my friends (20s-40s M/F) to stop inviting other people to our get-togethers in a nice way?

I don�t think you need to be polite. This is the time to drop people who invite random unknowns to your house when you have a child. Or invite random unknowns to a private memorial gathering. That�s just crass.

I think this is how "mother!" starts.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 10:07

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Live footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbAYl1xUF6w

# ? Nov 8, 2017 10:36

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Inescapable Duck posted:

Live footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbAYl1xUF6w

Alternate:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgOqcH1Ywzs

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:04

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

quote:

I've been with my wonderful girlfriend for three years. We recently moved in together and everything has been going smoothly except for one thing. She literally hogs all the blankets. I have tried using two blankets and it works out fine at first, but when she is fast asleep she will steal my blanket as well. Now I'm a pretty hefty guy and nearly double her weight but for some reason she has the strength of ten gorillas when it comes to blankets. I have even tried having a spare blanket for when she takes mine but somehow I will wake up a few hours later shivering with no blanket. I've told her about this and she just laughs and says she doesn't have any control over what she does in her sleep.
I would appreciate any advice from others who have a blanket stealing SO on how to resolve this issue.
tl;dr: My gf steals my blankets in her sleep. How do I get her to stop so I can not freeze.

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities :sever:

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:12

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Palpek posted:

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities

Religious Orthodox Jews have this full/queen-sized bed that splits into two singles for Nidah, he should try getting one of those.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:25

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Palpek posted:

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities

Just get a really large blanket and stake one end to the floor on his side of the bed like he's setting up a tent.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:27

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I'd suggest my lazy winter solution of a sleeping bag.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:28

almightyerin: Apr 16, 2007; The one the only. Accept no substitutes.

quote:

Whenever I (26f) feel sick my boyfriend (26m) eventually gets sicker. Is this solely attention seeking? I�m losing it!!!

Every time I get sick he gets even sicker. Is imitation really the highest form of flattery?
I have periods from hell. I�ve recently come off the pill because it caused some intense depression and cystic acne so my natural periods are back in full force
For the past three days I�ve been struggling with a migraine, and yesterday my period came, the cramps were so bad I silently cried for an hour while we watched TV.
I didn�t want to show symptoms because I know what he�ll do next... but I couldn�t help it
We go to bed at 10:30 and by midnight he�s coughing and breathing sooo heavily. I pretend to be asleep for maybe 30 mins and I did eventually fall back asleep (worked from 6am to 6am and took too many pain killers). I wake up again to him now also crying.
He�s having a panic attack (which he is medicated for). I care for him until 1am until he falls asleep. He does this every time I feel sick or unwell. If I have a cold, he�ll catch pneumonia. If I�m having a migraine, his will eventually be worse. If I�m on my period he gets norovirus.
I�ve started to care for him very half-assedly. I�ve tried ignoring his behavior, tried hiding my symptoms, tried caring for him extra well. Idk what to do!
Tldr; I fell awful for thinking this but when I get sick I feel like he fakes being sicker so I�ll care for him. What is happening? Why does he do this?

Just lol.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:29

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

almightyerin posted:

Just lol.

Spite norovirus is twice as virulent as the spontaneous strain.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:31

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My [32 m] 'friends' can't accept my new life in Japan

quote:

My family and friends don't accept my new life in Japan. I was always unhappy in America I was bad at sports and a nerd. I lost my virginity at 26 and struggled with social events. In particular I had lots of female friends who never reciprocated my interest in them.

Age 28 I moved to Japan and everythings got so much better. I have a strong social circle, a good job and even a girlfriend of 2 years. Unfortunately my friends back home have been very nasty, saying I'm a typical loser westerner and calling my girlfriend a golddigger

tl;dr: Friends don't accept my new life

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:43

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Palpek posted:

My [32 m] 'friends' can't accept my new life in Japan

Then stop talking to them?

Also LOL at that emote, why is that not :mthunk:?

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:48

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Palpek posted:

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities

Either hold her tight or sleep in separate places? The solution was so simple all along.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:50

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Palpek posted:

My [32 m] 'friends' can't accept my new life in Japan

Congrats on escape your dumb western existence. I'd cut them off and continue to sleep with your Japanese girlfriend.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 14:51

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Palpek posted:

My [32 m] 'friends' can't accept my new life in Japan

Fuckin lol.

But seriously dude, if your old group is acting nasty dump those baka gaijin.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:04

navier-stoked: Aug 30, 2004

Palpek posted:

My [32 m] 'friends' can't accept my new life in Japan

the awesome self-dunk here is that he is still seeking validation from people that treated him like poo poo despite having moved to the other side of the planet four years ago

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:15

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Tbf his girlfriend is probably a gaijin-hunter gold-digger. Presuming he actually has money but who knows.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:18

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

ReadingZucchini posted:

the awesome self-dunk here is that he is still seeking validation from people that treated him like poo poo despite having moved to the other side of the planet four years ago

There are a couple self-owns there including "I had lots of female friends who never reciprocated my interest in them" and in the comments he says that the things he likes the most about Japan are swords and anime.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:26

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Palpek posted:

There are a couple self-owns there including "I had lots of female friends who never reciprocated my interest in them" and in the comments he says that the things he likes the most about Japan are swords and anime.

He�s clearly being facetious, but I really wonder what his �good� job is. Not that many careers in Japan besides English teaching for that kinda guy.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:42

Sandweed: Sep 7, 2006; All your friends are me.

Is it Mark Karpel�s?

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:46

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Milotic posted:

Hoping it�s not real. But let�s have this heart warmer instead

My [27F] husband [32M] cried, I didn't say anything. Did I handle this correctly?

This, along with the end of American Beauty, the short story Bicentennial Man and Remembrance Sunday is when it�s OK for men to cry and you don�t really need to question it.

Also the end of Terminator 2.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:47

ishikabibble: Jan 21, 2012

LimburgLimbo posted:

He�s clearly being facetious, but I really wonder what his �good� job is. Not that many careers in Japan besides English teaching for that kinda guy.

It's teaching.

The guy's a goober and a half. His 'strong social circle' is probably the company mandated drinking after work with your coworkers/boss and he thinks that's actual friendship and not forced politeness. Wouldn't surprise me if the girlfriend is an actual gold digger who targets expats knowing they tend to be desperate.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 15:49

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

fairly obvious that's a troll post

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:00

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Palpek posted:

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities

again, why not just get a shitload of extra blankets? Let's see how far this can go.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:11

Ouhei: Oct 23, 2008; Cat Army

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

I don't get why this is such a difficult problem, just buy a whole goddamn case of Red Bull and stick several cans in the fridge.

Hint: The problem isn't that there's only 1 drink, the problem is that the GF is deliberately stealing the OPs drinks he gets for work and then flipping her poo poo when he asks her to stop. Based on the comments there's a lot more going on with her and he needs to sit her down and have a very serious conversation about what's up or it's only going to get worse. It may get worse still, which at some point he'll hopefully have enough and leave.

I'm also trying to figure out when she steals these if she's got no job and he's getting up in the morning for work.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:27

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Whorelord posted:

fairly obvious that's a troll post

Having lived a decade in Japan and seen the kind of foreigner it attracts, I�m entirely willing to believe it

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:29

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

Honestly if the guy is happy who cares?

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:30

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Baka gaijin need to go home

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:34

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Real or not that dudes post is a honeypot for idiots to teach English in Japan so I hope more do so so they can get wrecked or become the second white master sake brewer.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:35

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

It'd be pretty hard to live in a country where your defining factor is you being a foreigner.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 16:44

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Not a single fucking olive in sight

maskenfreiheit posted:

I love the ones that start out mundane and just let the crazy flow:

My girlfriend [26F] of three years takes drinks I [25M] put in the fridge for work the next dayRelationships (self.relationships)

Personally I'd move out and leave behind a case of Red Bull

I hate both of them but I never drink my partner's Monsters because I think they are absurdly overpriced so I believe it is dickish to take something that he splurges on a little bit and pays for out of his own money instead of being split like the rest of the food expenses so I think he kind of has a point

# ? Nov 8, 2017 17:52

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Three Olives posted:

I hate both of them but I never drink my partner's Monsters because I think they are absurdly overpriced so I believe it is dickish to take something that he splurges on a little bit and pays for out of his own money instead of being split like the rest of the food expenses so I think he kind of has a point

Please don't make sensible posts. You're breaking kayfabe.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 18:04

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Palpek posted:

My [26M] GF [24F] of three years hogs all the blankets

Blanket incompatibility is right up there with sex and cleanliness incompatibilities

Wake her up every single time she does it. Make her sleep on the couch or the floor if she keeps doing it. Maintain boundaries, and eventually get a new girlfriend. Someone that claims "I can't control what I do when I'm asleep" is one blackout away from making GBS threads on your laptop and closing it.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 18:06

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Batterypowered7 posted:

Please don't make sensible posts. You're breaking kayfabe.

Three Olives has a partner? What?

His Partner drinks monster? Oh.

Does he has a soundproofed room so he can play without annoying Three Olives?

# ? Nov 8, 2017 18:11

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Vargatron posted:

It'd be pretty hard to live in a country where your defining factor is you being a foreigner.

I�m sure you could score some homely Christmas cake that would never call you back.

# ? Nov 8, 2017 19:01

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

We need 10ccs of Pete, stat!

Me [23 M] with my girlfriend[22 F] of almost 3 years, she wants a free pass for a one-night stand

quote:

u/klondike04012015
EDIT: It is important to also note that we are in a long distance relationship where we see each other about once a month.

My girlfriend of almost 3 years has requested that I allow her to have a "free pass" to have a one-night stand with a guy. I'm super conflicted because even the thought of her with another guy makes me upset, however I also want to make her happy. She is also giving me a "free pass" however I have no desire to be with another woman.

I am the only guy she has ever sexually been with. Shortly before I started dating her I had a one-night stand with another girl. My girlfriend believes that she should have the right to satisfy her sexual curiosity. I understand her point, but it also upsets me at the idea. She has reassured me that she would rather inform me than cheat on me, and that it would only be sex, and that she would not develop a relationship with him.

I said that I will allow her to have a one-night stand, but I don't want to know about it because I will be very upset. I know that she will still love me and come back to me, I just want her to be wholly mine. After giving her the go-ahead, she informed me that she tried to imagine herself doing it, but doesn't think she'll go through with it, but it is still a possibility. Am I wrong in my reaction? What should I do? I want to make her happy and don't want our relationship to suffer.

TL;DR

Girlfriend wants a one-night stand, but I'm not comfortable with the idea of her being with another man. However I do want to make her happy and for our relationship to not suffer. What should I do?

# ? Nov 8, 2017 19:26

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# ? Jun 13, 2024 01:22

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

She has obviously already hosed him

# ? Nov 8, 2017 19:30

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