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The Joe Man
Apr 7, 2007

Flirting With Apathetic Waitresses Since 1984

FactsAreUseless posted:

Do the two LMGs have any use?
Other than comedic value for when you're absolutely dominating the other team, no, not really.

Learn & get used to the spray pattern for the MP7 (steadily pull diagonally down-left about an inch as you burn through it). It has a high payout reward for kills, relatively cheap and surprisingly decent for plinking heads at mid-range (and super deadly in close if you learn that pattern).

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mcvey
Aug 31, 2006

go caps haha

*Washington Capitals #1 Fan On DeviantArt*

The Joe Man posted:

Learn & get used to the spray pattern for the MP7 (steadily pull diagonally down-left about an inch as you burn through it). It has a high payout reward for kills, relatively cheap and surprisingly decent for plinking heads at mid-range (and super deadly in close if you learn that pattern).

...just learn the rifles(AK and M4A4).

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

I usually use an smg or rifle depending on the map, and occasionally a shotgun, but the shotguns don't seem like they have the killing power they should.

I'm not a fan of the sniper rifles.

surc
Aug 17, 2004

mcvey posted:

...just learn the rifles(AK and M4A4).

This, also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9mvXfnY8wU

SealHammer
Jul 4, 2010
Click to understand my bad faith posting.

FactsAreUseless posted:

I usually use an smg or rifle depending on the map, and occasionally a shotgun, but the shotguns don't seem like they have the killing power they should.

I'm not a fan of the sniper rifles.

the only shotgun that is reliably good is the MAG-7, the M1014 doesn't hit as hard and costs more while the Nova is less accurate.

Watch this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekQzMlnYq4w&t=150s

e: watch all of the videos

drunken officeparty
Aug 23, 2006

Just buy a p90 every round and play as if it was call of duty.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

drunken officeparty posted:

Just buy a p90 every round and play as if it was call of duty.
I've only played CoD once and don't really remember it.

drunken officeparty
Aug 23, 2006

FactsAreUseless posted:

I've only played CoD once and don't really remember it.

Just never let go of W. If you ever stop running you are wrong.

Photex
Apr 6, 2009




FactsAreUseless posted:

I've only played CoD once and don't really remember it.

the best advice is to never take the advice of drunken officeparty.

Watch some of AdreN's videos esp the one on crosshair placement.

Savage For The Winjun
Jun 27, 2008


Just play subio and behold as my constant raging propels you above the bottom 5 players on the server within a week

Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006

Soiled Meat

SealHammer posted:

the only shotgun that is reliably good is the MAG-7, the M1014 doesn't hit as hard and costs more while the Nova is less accurate.

Did something change with the nova? I've headshot people in pit from goose with it before because it's a ridiculous gun.

stump collector
May 28, 2007
are you bad?

Tevery Best
Oct 11, 2013

Hewlo Furriend

FactsAreUseless posted:

I usually use an smg or rifle depending on the map, and occasionally a shotgun, but the shotguns don't seem like they have the killing power they should.

I'm not a fan of the sniper rifles.

Okay, so from a Bad Player with 800+ hours on record in CSGO, here's a guideline for weapon selection:

- AK47, M4A4 or M4A1-S are the Real Guns. If you are full buying, you will get one of these. This is because they are the most versatile weapons in the game: effective at any range and in any situation. Every other weapon is a specialist weapon. You want to get good with them. Moreover, there is nothing more satisfying than a crisp AK headshot. On CT-side, you must pick between one version of the M4. A4 has a larger mag, but a larger spray pattern, A1-S has a spray pattern like a mosquito's dick, but with only 20 rounds per mag and two spare mags it can get dicey. Eventually it boils down to personal preference, but the general idea is you can't get an ace with A1-S, but it does let you consistently get two or three kills a round if you hold angles and it absolutely dominates long range unless you're playing against people far better than either of us is right now. On T side, you do not have a choice, only the AK is available, but that's more than alright: regardless of its huge spray pattern and far greater inaccuracy and recoil, it is usually the rifle of choice even for CTs when they can get their hands on it because at virtually every engagement range that exists in the game it kills through helmets with a single headshot. That's HUGE and has a corresponding impact on how you play.

I recommend downloading training maps and practising on them with these guns. uLLeticaL's aim_botz and Recoil Master (or something like that) are two great tools for improving your rifle play. A good warmup before an actual matchmaking game is to hop in to aim_botz and headshot like two hundred bots with the main rifles. Tedious, but drill is important.

- AWP is the most important specialist weapon. This gun is heavy and you need to learn to effectively use the scoping mechanic (remember you can hear the enemy use scopes! It can save your bacon if you didn't know an AWP is around), and to stand perfectly still until the moment you fire (but not a moment more). In exchange, you get a one-shot-kill to the chest (so don't aim for the head), even through many obstacles. Wallbanging with the AWP is also great. Don't buy it if you can't use it and can't take the pressure - there's no better way to ruin your day than have a bunch of pubbie kids flame you for missing a crucial AWP shot. In other words, you can skip this if you want to, or adapt your play 100% to getting it and wrecking with it.

- Galil and FAMAS are the rifles you buy when your team is buying, but you are short on cash and can't get a Real Gun. Many newbies pick up the Galil even though they can get the AK because they feel it's easier to use - don't fall into that trap! If you don't use the AK, you won't get better with it, and the Galil does not one-click-kill. People feel the FAMAS is underpowered for its price (and the burst function is literally useless), but gently caress the haters, if you can't get an M4, it's a good option.

- The P90 is a noob crutch, but drat if it's not an effective one. I'm Gold Nova 2 and people still semi-frequently find a good timing and wreck with it. The higher you go, the less useful it is (since it's very expensive, a lot less effective at range, and doesn't even get the SMG kill reward bonus). You should learn to play against it, not with it.

- The UMP is not as good now as it was a few months ago, but if you are in a real pinch (especially CT-side) and the rest of your team can buy, they can work decently as a cheap mini-rifle. Remember the magazine only holds 25 rounds and drops them quite quickly, so no extended engagements with multiple enemies (retreating is your friend). Also has a pretty hefty damage drop-off over range (even if it is fairly accurate).

- MAC-10s and MP9s both have one use: farming money when the enemy is full-saving. They fare super bad against armour, but are very cheap and if the other team has no cash, they are still very effective. You won't learn to figure out the other team's bank balance until you get a lot more hours, so for now they're a good purchase if you win the pistol round. And they get double the kill reward bonus of a rifle, so that's pretty cool. Also MAC-10 has Neon Rider, the best skin in the game bar none.

- SG553 and AUG are rarely bought because of their higher price tag. The AUG is very strong on paper, but awkward to use and your CT rifles are expensive anyway. The SG does still get the one-headshot-kill of the AK, but again does not seem to be worth the price of admission. Occasionally you can buy them, if you're ahead, they're quite fun.

- The MP7 is in a weird spot. On paper it is the best SMG except for P90, but at 1700 it always seems to me to be not worth the cost. Maybe you'll like it better.

- Shotguns are only effective in very specific situations, so much so that you'll hear about specific plays being literally associated with a single pro player because nobody else does it. The big deal is their piss-poor range in a game where you need to be able to take engagements in a variety of places and at different distances. Also even with the autoshotgun you really want to engage one person at a time because of their low fire rate. The tripled kill reward is generally not worth gimping yourself so badly even against pistols and no armour, where guns like MAC-10 and MP9 are actually viable options. That said, there are subtleties here. The Nova is extremely random, sometimes you can headshot a guy in a helmet across a large distance, sometimes all the pellets will fly into a wall even though he's right there and you're aiming straight for the head. Sawn-offs are sometimes used on Cobblestone in the drop room (popularised by the player JW) and otherwise I can't recall ever seeing one purchased (okay, Snax owns bones with it T-side in Nuke vents, but YOU ARE NOT SNAX). Autoshotguns can be fun, but the only "autoshotty spot" is Nuke hut on CT-side (made famous by Hiko). MAG-7 is by far the best shotgun of all, and even that is only played by people who have a very specific plan: CT-side Train under the ladder, CT-side Cobble drop room, Snax plays Cobble A Long and again owns bones but you are still not Snax. That's a lot of words to say: don't buy shotguns because they're rarely fun or useful.

- Autosnipers are P90 squared: you'll own noobs with no recourse, good players will laugh at you. Is this worth your dignity? You decide!

- SSG 08 is a very difficult gun to use effectively. Its low rate of fire means you will quickly die if you get swamped or engaged at a short range and its damage, while serious, does not command the same respect an AWP does. This gun kills on headshots, but those are very hard to get with it, and seriously tags on hits anywhere else, so a teammate can swoop in and finish the target off. Also it has a fun mechanic where it is very accurate if you're at the exact apex of your jump, which is hard to land but fun. Bottom line is: don't buy it, you'll just hurt yourself.

- Guns you should never, ever buy: Bizon, Negev, M249.

RE: Pistols:

- A P250 is a large upgrade over your default pistol, even if it doesn't headshot-kill anymore. If you are saving, consider throwing 300 dollars at it to give yourself a chance at a lucky frag.
- Berettas were AFAIK originally introduced as a joke gun and never really got better. They're kind of meh, but if you're playing with friends, you can buy two sets of those and throw one to a teammate who has armour, which is fun.
- 5-7 is very effective if you stand in place and spam with it. It will headshot people through helmets on most distances and is very accurate. Most people prefer CZs nowadays, though.
- Tek-9 is my favourite pistol all time, because it is very accurate while moving. It got somewhat nerfed and people turned to the CZ, but I still like it. An armour-grenades-Tek-9 buy is not a rare sight.
- CZ-75 Auto is very strong, kills on headshots and fires in full auto, which is definitely a potent combination. The danger is that it takes ages to reload and only comes with one spare mag, so you WILL run out of rounds quick.
- The Desert Eagle is powerful, as it headshots at pretty much all ranges and deals a ton of damage even on a body shot. Takes skill, though, and even then sometimes just decides "nah, today we're shooting walls".

I hope this is helpful.

Goofballs
Jun 2, 2011



That's some decent advice. I'd add watch a little pro play or some high level streamer. Not obsessively or even much but just to get an idea of how the game is supposed to flow. Nothing you do and no one you're going to play with is going to do anything resembling very high level play but if you look at it you'll get the why of things and their pace faster than you will flopping around in matchmaking trying to invent the wheel. I'm not talking endless hours and hours but if you watch someone very very good play inferno or some other map for 20 minutes you're just going to get the map better faster, especially you've played a match or two yourself before on it.

Gingerbread House Music
Dec 1, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
Buy a Bizon round 2 of each side and you'll single handedly stop any pistol rushes by yourself. hth.

Slumpy
Jun 10, 2008
http://itsyourbirthday.today/#slumpy

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

Gingerbread House Music posted:

Buy a Bizon round 2 of each side and you'll single handedly stop any pistol rushes by yourself. hth.

Or any round really. Just don’t suck rear end.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Tevery Best posted:

- Autosnipers are P90 squared: you'll own noobs with no recourse, good players will laugh at you. Is this worth your dignity? You decide!
Who gives a poo poo, though. Those are made-up rules for people with a child's understanding of game design. It exists in the game for a reason.

mcvey
Aug 31, 2006

go caps haha

*Washington Capitals #1 Fan On DeviantArt*

FactsAreUseless posted:

Who gives a poo poo, though. Those are made-up rules for people with a child's understanding of game design. It exists in the game for a reason.

Breaking the Auto-ice is not to be taken lightly my dude. Unless youre Dorky.

A TURGID FATSO
Jan 27, 2004

Here's to ya, JACKASS

Tevery Best posted:

- CZ-75 Auto is very strong, kills on headshots and fires in full auto, which is definitely a potent combination. The danger is that it takes ages to reload and only comes with one spare mag, so you WILL run out of rounds quick.

The best way to utilize the CZ in my opinion is to treat it as a one-and-done gun on eco rounds where you can kill someone who has a gun then immediately grab that dropped weapon and use it. Other than that it's very limited in its use because of, as you said, the bullets get used up quickly.

drunken officeparty
Aug 23, 2006

It would be good as a secondary with an awp or scout if it didn't take a full moon cycle to switch to.

A TURGID FATSO
Jan 27, 2004

Here's to ya, JACKASS

drunken officeparty posted:

It would be good as a secondary with an awp or scout if it didn't take a full moon cycle to switch to.

This is actually what its primary use was before it was originally nerfed.

Savage For The Winjun
Jun 27, 2008


uh no it's primary use was taking angles as CT side

Tevery Best
Oct 11, 2013

Hewlo Furriend

FactsAreUseless posted:

Who gives a poo poo, though. Those are made-up rules for people with a child's understanding of game design. It exists in the game for a reason.

That reason being mostly "legacy" at this point, though.

When I said good players will laugh at you, I meant that the utility of the autosniper drops off fairly quickly as you progress up the ranks (not as quickly as with the Pro 90, but still). It can be a devastating weapon in the right situation (like when defending a tight chokepoint, e.g. upper B tunnels on Dust 2 or B Long on Cobblestone), but the gun does not one-hit-kill like an AWP while being even more expensive. Consider this: as you get better, you learn to headshot faster, so on average a shorter engagement favours the better player and the longer it goes on, the more likely the worse player is to win. With the autosniper you can get one-hit-headshots, but if the first shot does not hit the dome, then the AK will be a lot faster to correct to kill you with the second one because of its higher and steady rate of fire as well as a wider field of view that does not jerk around wildly as you shoot. So against a good AK, you are not a shoe-in to win, and against an AWP you're quite likely at a disadvantage because for awpers killing you with that first shot is a lot easier.

Jeza
Feb 13, 2011

The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
In several ways the auto is actually superior to the AWP as a turret. But the relative mobility and TTK of the AWP is just way better.

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

is ump still the go to smg after the nerf? I haven't really played since then.

mcvey
Aug 31, 2006

go caps haha

*Washington Capitals #1 Fan On DeviantArt*

ArmZ posted:

is ump still the go to smg after the nerf? I haven't really played since then.

Id still say yes but more because it's so cheap.

Photex
Apr 6, 2009




I've been liking the famas on second round, but def ump on T side

A TURGID FATSO
Jan 27, 2004

Here's to ya, JACKASS

ArmZ posted:

is ump still the go to smg after the nerf? I haven't really played since then.

It is for me on CT side, but on T I tend to go with the Mac-10.

Agoat
Dec 4, 2012

I AM BAD AT GAMES
Lipstick Apathy
Fun fact: the Mac 10 is more accurate in the air

Daeno
May 29, 2007

Found you have to go alone

FactsAreUseless posted:

Who gives a poo poo, though. Those are made-up rules for people with a child's understanding of game design. It exists in the game for a reason.

look at this guy cut through the bullshit when he's just starting out

Here's my advice for a newbie:

1) Don't look at the ground, try to keep your crosshair UP and ready, ideally aiming right at head-level at a corner/wall you think an enemy might pop out from.

2) Try not to move and shoot at the same time. More for rifles/snipers but Counter-Strike generally heavily penalizes your accuracy when moving.

3) Practice forcing yourself not to spray guns unless you're really close. Learning when to tap or burst or spray (as well as the spray patterns) is one of the most important fundamentals.

Grenades, communication, save rounds, there are a million things to learn... but keep coming back in the thread as you get more experience, there are a ton of wonderful goons who will help.

Try all the guns out, try all the maps out, be a sponge, and have fun!

nftyw
Dec 27, 2006

It is a game... where you will put your life on the line.
Lipstick Apathy
Yeah UMP got a well deserved nerf but it's still a great SMG, especially if you're trained to aim for the head. Very economical and fairly easy to use, I'm glad to see the UMP going from this amazingly bad SMG to a solid go-to in the current meta. Still miss the TMP though.

As far as aiming goes, if nothing else, load up a practice bot match on dust 2 or whatever on harmless mode, join terrorist side and train yourself to take the time to stop, line up your aim and shoot every CT in the head with an AK. Good players can do this in an instant; try to get to the point where you are reliably spending exactly 5 bullets to clear each round. Then change the difficulty up and learn how to do so while under pressure. If you can't reliably manage this, either you need a better mouse or need to adjust your sensitivity setting (the joke usually says turn it way down, I started adjusting it bit by bit and now I play on sensitivity 1.0 )

Learning tricks like stutter stepping and whatnot from adren and Warowl's counter-strike videos are also good because there are a lot of tips and techniques to know, from the very well known 'don't shoot while running/jumping', how to use crouching, where and when you can see the opponent while they can't see you, even things like where bullets come from (they emit from your head, despite what it looks like in game).

Agoat
Dec 4, 2012

I AM BAD AT GAMES
Lipstick Apathy
Here's my advice, and its more of a mindset than anything you'll use in-game. Accept that you are going to lose, and use those losses as a chance to learn. Watch your replays and really focus on growing as a player.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Agoat posted:

Here's my advice, and its more of a mindset than anything you'll use in-game. Accept that you are going to lose, and use those losses as a chance to learn. Watch your replays and really focus on growing as a player.
This isn't a problem for me, but convincing some pissed-off college dropout seems to be the tough bit.

drunken officeparty
Aug 23, 2006

the other team kicked one of their players in the first few rounds because he was pretty clearly snapping to heads

who says theres no honor in combat anymore

Agoat
Dec 4, 2012

I AM BAD AT GAMES
Lipstick Apathy

FactsAreUseless posted:

This isn't a problem for me, but convincing some pissed-off college dropout seems to be the tough bit.

Play with friends and goons at that point IMO. Or just add every pubbie that seems to not be a complete idiot. I used to have a solid rotation of people I could pick up anytime.

Diqnol
May 10, 2010

FactsAreUseless posted:

This isn't a problem for me, but convincing some pissed-off college dropout seems to be the tough bit.

Just try to be positive as much as you can. I’ve found that if they were happy before it’s easier to get them through the down bits. If you’re really sure they’ll be toxic the whole game, mute them. There’s no other solution.

Kwilty
May 31, 2011

MP9 on CT, Mac-10 on T. If you use any other smgs you're doing it wrong.

As for tips

1) Crosshair placement. Put the little thing in the middle of your screen where you're expecting a bad guy to come out. Not at the wall, or the ground. It takes some time, and without map knowledge it'll be rough, but remember the less distance your crosshair has to travel the better chance you have at winning the fight.

2) Counter Strafing. Its in that video, but if you are running to the left (A) and you tap your right button (D) there is a very brief time where the game considers you completely still. This is where you get to piss people off and they'll scream you were still moving. This is one of the most important tools in CS, especially for clearing angles because it allows you to go out shoot and retreat all in one quick motion. To practice you can go on any map with a wall and just try to hit the same spot with a single bullet.

3) Turn up your headphones and learn the maps. Map knowledge is probably the easiest thing to improve in your game, and can go a long way. Understanding enemy locations based on audio queues like footsteps can greatly improve your chances of winning. Further more, once you get used to how people play certain sites, (at your rank you'll probably have the guys playing the exact same spots every single round so remember where they kiled you from) and the amount of time people take to get to certain spots you can rely less on your aim and just give yourself huge advantages before even pressing a button.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

6.5) Learn to shift-walk sometimes so dudes can't hear you

Walk all the time until goons yell at you to not walk.

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A TURGID FATSO
Jan 27, 2004

Here's to ya, JACKASS

ilmucche posted:

6.5) Learn to shift-walk sometimes so dudes can't hear you

Walk all the time until goons yell at you to not walk.
I'm the one that's always yelling.

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