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Barudak posted:Im not comfortable having kids around drinking because elbows are like natures ball peen hammers and it turns out most kids under 12 arent developed enough to take a full on People’s Elbow from cousin Lou. Pick posted:tbh drinking. Like, I'm not comfortable having kids around people drinking honestly. I think it's a bad influence. Ride The Gravitron posted:Drinking, dancing, having adult conversations This is such a foreign concept to me, at all the weddings I've been to including my own the parents either make the choice to get shitfaced and be crazy, hence leaving the kids with a sitter at home, or they want to bring the kids and act like responsible adults and look after them. Generally it doesn't matter past the ceremony because all the kids end up playing with each other and having fun aka the whole point of bringing kids in the first place. I've never once felt like the environment was inappropriate for children unless they are such delicate flowers the idea of an adult being drunk or telling a bawdy joke is going to send them into a spiral of self destruction EDIT: I guess my point is the "no-kids" rule comes from a selfish place, and the fact that she didn't like the kids being let out of the babysitting area to dance with their parents and have fun is just asinine to me
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Nov 14, 2017 04:59
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maskenfreiheit posted:I [18F] lent my co-worker [30s M] a laptop and he left a love note for me on it.Non-Romantic I know that whistleblowing isn't exactly stacked in favor of the worker, but I fail to see how any federal lawsuits could come from making an EoE complaint since internal HR isn't doing its job. Sounds like a no-win situation if her NDA covers workplace harassment and not just actual classified poo poo. 
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Nov 14, 2017 05:02
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A friend of mine is a bartender/bar investor. Hi wedding was in one of his bars, and his reception was to travel from bar to bar he has associations with throught the city growing ever more shitfaced until you had to go home under the correct assumption he and his wife could outdrink all the guests. A distant relative complained he didnt let her bring her 6 year old.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:04
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abigserve posted:This is such a foreign concept to me, at all the weddings I've been to including my own the parents either make the choice to get shitfaced and be crazy, hence leaving the kids with a sitter at home, or they want to bring the kids and act like responsible adults and look after them. Generally it doesn't matter past the ceremony because all the kids end up playing with each other and having fun aka the whole point of bringing kids in the first place. Bringing your kids into the reception when you've already been told no kids comes from a selfish place
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Nov 14, 2017 05:05
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The host gets to set conditions for an event, particularly an expensive, complicated one like a big wedding. She even went above and beyond by shelling out for child care. If that's unreasonable, stay home. By deciding to attend, you've accepted their conditions, unreasonable as you may feel them to be. Our reception was definitely NOT kid-free but I understand why people might want that.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:06
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Tater Love 
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Barudak posted:Im not comfortable having kids around drinking because elbows are like natures ball peen hammers and it turns out most kids under 12 arent developed enough to take a full on People’s Elbow from cousin Lou. Then they need to learn, and a wedding is a trial by fire.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:07
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abigserve posted:Can you give me an example? Like I can understand not wanting kids at the ceremony (we had a tantrum just before our vows for example but no stress) but the reception? What could you possibly be doing with a huge group of your family and friends that would be inappropriate to have kids around. The atmosphere of a bunch of folks knocking back beers, shooting the poo poo, and generally having a good time completely changes when children are involved because everyone has to keep an eye out for the kids. It doesn't matter if you're just talking, eating, or dancing - nobody wants to be the one who stepped on Little Tammy's foot when they were dancing, or accidentally taught Little Johnny a swear because he was eavesdropping, or lord knows what else. That goes double (maybe even triple) for a day as special and important as someone's loving wedding day, which is a stressful, enormous, and costly event that they want everyone to have a good time at so it gets remembered fondly. edit: zakharov posted:The host gets to set conditions for an event, particularly an expensive, complicated one like a big wedding. She even went above and beyond by shelling out for child care. If that's unreasonable, stay home. By deciding to attend, you've accepted their conditions, unreasonable as you may feel them to be. Kith fucked around with this message at 05:16 on Nov 14, 2017 |
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Nov 14, 2017 05:14
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Who even wants kids at a wedding? Last one I went to I ended up largely entertaining my young cousin because I was the next closest family in age there to her who wasn't the groom. I was 34. I largely want to avoid children like the plague but sucked it up a bit for her sake and it was fine. Since it was just her having a dedicated hired person to deal with one kid didn't make sense sure. Soon as there are more I totally get going hey all the kids can go elsewhere and do way more entertaining poo poo than a dull rear end wedding. Seriously people act like most are worth attending, they're not. Spare the kids that poo poo they gotta do it enough when they're older.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:19
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Weddings with kids can be nice because you get to see all of your younger relatives; sometimes how much they've grown since you've last seen them. Weddings without kids can be nice because you can have adult conversations and drink. Weddings of all sorts can be fun. 
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Nov 14, 2017 05:21
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Power Bottom posted:The atmosphere of a bunch of folks knocking back beers, shooting the poo poo, and generally having a good time completely changes when children are involved this hasn't been my experience at all, I think most people can get pretty drunk while still being reasonably responsible and respecting peoples boundaries? like there were some people that got hosed up at my wedding but they weren't exactly yelling obscenities and pissing on the flowers because they aren't garbage people ending the derail here though because my concept of a wedding + reception is an inclusive and big family event because that was how I was raised, other people may have different views on it
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Nov 14, 2017 05:26
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maskenfreiheit posted:Highly Respected Deaf Gentleman [36], Never had girlfriend? Why?Personal issues quote:I witnessed him deliberately unplug a monitor and a keyboard before calling me over to "fix" it. what was the plan here? To make her think he was a total idiot? I mean I get he wanted an excuse to talk to her but like "whoops I pissed myself could you go grab some napkins" isn't gonna play out well longterm.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:29
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abigserve posted:this hasn't been my experience at all, I think most people can get pretty drunk while still being reasonably responsible and respecting peoples boundaries? Counterpoint: Not all families are alike. Sometimes they are terrible. My [46] younger sister [41] insulted my daughter [26] yesterday. quote:Yesterday I hosted a Thanksgiving gathering at my house because my mom was in from out of town and other irrelevant reasons. My sister has always been less than tactful in the way she talks to people, just rather rude. We have never been particularly close. She is divorced, no children. I am divorced as well, 26yo daughter, 22yo son, 9yo son.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:30
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Pick posted:tbh drinking. Like, I'm not comfortable having kids around people drinking honestly. I think it's a bad influence. i think kids being around adults having a beer or two at thanksgiving dinner is normal and probably good so they don't think alcohol is a mystical thing and go crazy in college. otoh a lot of binge drinking occurs at weddings and that's definitely not appropriate. little johnny doesn't need to see aunt sally white girl wasted in the corner crying about how she's always a bridesmaid Barudak posted:Im not comfortable having kids around drinking because elbows are like natures ball peen hammers and it turns out most kids under 12 arent developed enough to take a full on People’s Elbow from cousin Lou. it's ok kids bones are soft and malleable throughout childhood just don't do any piledrivers after the quinceañera maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 05:37 on Nov 14, 2017 |
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Nov 14, 2017 05:31
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Absurd Alhazred posted:Counterpoint: Not all families are alike. Sometimes they are terrible. Why is this your problem? Your daughter is 26, not 2, if she doesn't have the emotional fortitude to deal with her mean aunt you failed as a parent and should  before you gently caress the rest of your kids up.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:35
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I'm [22M] disabled and my younger brother [13M] constantly harasses and is abusive to me; I'm frustrated and don't know what to do and my parents are no helpNon-Romantic 288 points 45 comments submitted 14 days ago by abusediary to r/relationships I have cerebral palsy; I can't walk and use crutches to move around and it affects my other motor skills as well. I'm visibly disabled in that you can see that my body is clearly 'weird' when you look at me or when I move. My brother is 13, slightly taller than me, and obviously more physically capable than me. The vast majority of interactions with him are him insulting, mocking and ridiculing me. He constantly says things like I should kill myself and constantly insults me on the basis of my disability. As in he'll literally call me 'disabled boy' and say 'you're disabled' over and over again mockingly. He does things like slap me and hit me and sometimes takes things from my room. If I try shut my door to get him to leave me alone, he stops me because he's faster than me. He's pushed me down a few times. He does and says inappropriate things like slap my butt when I'm walking away or make lewd comments about my body or mocks me about needing help with things like private personal hygiene/grooming. Interacting with him is exhausting, and I feel anxious and self conscious when he's around. If I tell him to leave me alone or go away or say anything he perceives as critical he'll just continue to be rude, and if I get angry and raise my voice he'll say that I'm being abusive. When we start to fight my mother just frames it as both of us fighting instead of him initiating it and just yells. Because of the times I get overtly angry and tell him directly to just leave me alone or shut up, I sometimes feels like she acts as if I'm the one being unreasonable and he should just leave it, since he's usually just mocking than smilingly insulting than angry. I know all of his behaviour and insults are juvenile, but it frustrates me because I can't properly defend myself because of my disability and that every interaction is just him degrading me and putting me down. I get very depressed that I have to constantly deal with this, and I feel guilty, frustrated and ashamed because of how obvious and overt his abuse is when I describe it- it feels like I'm trying to demonise a kid that I'm so much older than or that it's my fault for doing something to antagonise him or not trying to reason with him. But I honestly don't. I always speak civilly/normally to him before he starts poo poo again and I defend him when I feel he's being treated unfairly in other squabbles. I honestly don't hate him in any serious way because he's a kid, but I dread being around him. I try to just ignore what he says but he'll just continue on, and I can't do anything about the physical stuff TL;DR much younger brother constantly mistreats me; it makes me depressed and frustrated and I don't know what to do
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Nov 14, 2017 05:43
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abigserve posted:I literally cannot imagine what a wedding would be like where kids would not be welcome outside of really gross themed weddings where everybody is naked or whatever. My step brother's recent wedding basically had a cut off time, kids were okay/encouraged to hang out during the wedding itself but once it got later the lights were dimmed and everyone still there was getting smashed and enjoying a mid/late 20's party which definitely is not something you'd have kids attend. No one seemed to take issue with this and those that brought kids left at the appropriate time.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:46
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chemtrail huffer posted:I [32M] have become close with my [32M] best friends wife [30F] I'm guessing the background of this is the OP has been forever alone and latched onto one of the first women in his life that's not a relative and is nice to him. Otherwise I can't really think of how someone who has dated before would think that cuddling with his best friend's wife wasn't already way over a line.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:48
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Me [34 F] with my husband [32 M] and grandmother-in-law [86 F]. How do I get by with not eating her food at her house?quote:Just to give you some background: I am married to a man who comes from a different country. In his culture, family is everything. He moved here as a young child with no prior knowledge of our language, and his family worked very hard to get to where they are today. They speak with each other every day and see each other at least once a week. I come from a much more independent family. We value each other, but we don't have to touch base every day. We also have boundaries and expectations of reasonable behavior. His family can act in inappropriate ways and everyone just seems to accept it, whereas my family expects good behavior and has no problem calling each other out when it's appropriate to do so.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:51
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Haifisch posted:Me [34 F] with my husband [32 M] and grandmother-in-law [86 F]. How do I get by with not eating her food at her house? Most of this is regular "my grandma grew up scraping things off her feet to eat" but this: quote:She blows her nose on dish towels and then uses them to dry dishes. She puts her unwashed hands in food when scooping it into containers. is loving disgusting.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:57
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Pick posted:I'm [22M] disabled and my younger brother [13M] constantly harasses and is abusive to me; I'm frustrated and don't know what to do and my parents are no helpNon-Romantic
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Nov 14, 2017 05:57
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I hate when they're vague and say poo poo like "a different country", like everyone isn't immediately going to ask her if she's talking about Italy.
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Nov 14, 2017 05:57
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Cat Army
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Pick posted:I'm [22M] disabled and my younger brother [13M] constantly harasses and is abusive to me; I'm frustrated and don't know what to do and my parents are no helpNon-Romantic he should buy some mace and use it
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Nov 14, 2017 06:02
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Had a discussion about it last night. Just to give you some background (if you haven't read my previous post). I have a High Sex drive and feel depressed/angry when my wife doesn't give me all of her attention (sexual and non-sexual). I also feel I've been married to the same woman for too long (10 years) and I have no feeling for her anymore. The children seem to be causing a stress on the relationship, since all her time is occupied with them..... My wife has a particular low libido, doesn't initiate, doesn't talk sexy, doesn't like to flirt, play grab rear end etc....
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Nov 14, 2017 06:02
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dudeness posted:I hate when they're vague and say poo poo like "a different country", like everyone isn't immediately going to ask her if she's talking about Italy. 
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Nov 14, 2017 06:09
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Do what babushka says unless you want her to clock you with a log
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Nov 14, 2017 06:30
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ArbitraryC posted:This is really sad but the explanation is p clear, OP was a difficult drain on the family and the parents are resentful of it to the point of simply allowing the younger brother to vent on their behalf. Younger brother probably picked up on this dynamic when he was too young for empathy (and realistically he's still in this spot) and it's just snowballed from there. They would have stopped him years ago if they were ever intending to and OP has no real means to get away on his own. It's just super depressing all around, like literally the best case scenario at this point is x years from now after the younger one has matured he'll have realized how hosed up the dynamic was and try to fix things but it's never gonna undo the damage or repair their relationship. Disability is soo much joy when you're a child. Yeah. There's nothing like hearing your mother scream at your father, "You're not the one stuck home with a sick kid!" when he asks her how her day went.
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Nov 14, 2017 06:46
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I would have suggested broken legs before I did the growing up palsy puncher needs to do.
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Nov 14, 2017 07:03
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Rugikiki fucked around with this message at 14:55 on Nov 14, 2017 |
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Nov 14, 2017 07:50
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This is loving outrageous. Dump this scumsucking shitloon and
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Nov 14, 2017 07:55
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Wait, sorry, that was my response to this: I [25F] lent my bf [26M] my work computer for his gaming, and now he refuses to let me use it, even for work. Considering ending it, 1.5 years. quote:Hi guys, I'll leave some details vague as he's a Redditor as well.
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Nov 14, 2017 07:59
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ArbitraryC posted:My step brother's recent wedding basically had a cut off time, kids were okay/encouraged to hang out during the wedding itself but once it got later the lights were dimmed and everyone still there was getting smashed and enjoying a mid/late 20's party which definitely is not something you'd have kids attend. No one seemed to take issue with this and those that brought kids left at the appropriate time. thats fine and makes perfect sense to me I [25F] lent my bf [26M] my work computer for his gaming, and now he refuses to let me use it, even for work. Considering ending it, 1.5 years quote:Hi guys, I'll leave some details vague as he's a Redditor as well. Pretty standard "don't date gamers" but I loved the "it'd take a lot of money to fix" as though there's any component of a computer that can break that you can't replace for less than 200 bucks. Cheeky prick is trying to justify a $3000 dollar alienware purchase I bet EDIT: ^^^ me [26M] with another forums poster [??M??] keeps stealing my posts. Should I open the relationship?
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Nov 14, 2017 07:59
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Please buy a copy of my new manchildren's book "If You Give a Gamer a Computer".
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Nov 14, 2017 08:10
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Bringing back a derail a bit, but I always felt the no-kids weddings can often be as much a favour for the kids as anything. Kids are usually bored shitless at weddings, proportionately so to how fancy and formal the wedding is, are difficult to dress and keep in formal clothes (Usually, some might love the opportunity to dress up, but the novelty likely wears off quick) and can get tired quick and either need to be taken home early or spend most of the evening sitting around complaining that they want to go home. Obvious it depends on the family, the venue and the kids, but the point is the presence of kids adds an entire new dimension of problems and issues to any event which the organisers have to deal with, and it's pretty reasonable for the most part to declare a no-kids event to save some headaches. And you'd think parents would jump at having dedicated daycare to take care of the kids for them while they go have fun and catch up with family.
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Nov 14, 2017 08:16
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My biggest memory of being at a wedding as a child was repeatedly going to the bartender and asking for more cherries. Repeatedly.Esoteric Scientist posted:My (35f) husband (33m) of 8 years is terrible at his "dream" job. He wants me to be "supportive" but he means just feed him fluff. I want to be honest but he can't handle it. What should I do? So this is definitely pro-wrestling, right?
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Nov 14, 2017 08:29
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Beachcomber posted:My biggest memory of being at a wedding as a child was repeatedly going to the bartender and asking for more cherries. Repeatedly. She talks about a 'promotion' later, and I'm not sure what that applies to except pro-wrestling.
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Nov 14, 2017 09:13
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The Lone Badger posted:She talks about a 'promotion' later, and I'm not sure what that applies to except pro-wrestling. Maybe MMA?
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Nov 14, 2017 10:09
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I love how vague she is about it, like the internet is gonna doxx her from the tiny-rear end detail of "my husband is a wrestling talent scout in an undisclosed region for a company I have not named"
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Nov 14, 2017 10:41
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Bertrand Hustle posted:I love how vague she is about it, like the internet is gonna doxx her from the tiny-rear end detail of "my husband is a wrestling talent scout in an undisclosed region for a company I have not named" I somehow give her credit for that vague description tho. You never know which weirdo is reading your stuff on the internet.
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Nov 14, 2017 11:33
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UrbanLabyrinth posted:Maybe MMA? 'Smashing things' is also considered a job skill, and MMA doesn't (usually) let you use props.
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Nov 14, 2017 11:41
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It's clearly competitive gymnastics.
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Nov 14, 2017 14:08
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