- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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But asexual people aren't straight? It's right there in the word. You can't be both asexual and heterosexual at the same time (well maybe the demisexual thing is supposed to be that but I have no idea).
Heteroromantic, then. Many people are in relationships where they don't have sex, it's not required.
I am super not interested in straight people telling us who we can and can't have in our own communities.
Edit: good lord I'm so sorry this is what started off the next page.
girl pants fucked around with this message at 21:42 on Nov 16, 2017
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Nov 16, 2017 21:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 01:57
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- Kuros
- Sep 13, 2010
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Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.
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E: anyway we should probably get back to idiot relationships before mods murder us all. Someone post something my god.
From Legal Advice:
[OK] Neighbor threatening to sue after I didn’t give him free electricity, citing implied contract.
quote:
Tl;dr: Neighbor asks to use my electricity for workmen. I say no. Neighbor sees extension cord on my property and thinks I changed my mind, so he doesn’t turn on his own electricity. Now he says I have to pay for the workmen’s failed visit.
Oklahoma, two single family homes. I own my mine. Next door is a rent house, recently vacated. Before this I had met the owner once.
Monday evening the owner of the house next door came by saying the the power is out at his house and he’s got a bunch of workmen coming in the morning. He wanted to know if I’d let them run extension cords from my house to power the work they needed to do. I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of giving a bunch of complete strangers hired by a near stranger access to my house when I’m not there— my house has no exterior outlets, so at the very least I’d have to give them access to my attached garage— but I’m sympathetic. I asked why the power was out. He said he always turns off the power to vacant rental houses to save money. As this wasn’t an emergency so much as him wanting me to give him free electricity I politely declined. He seemed surprised but took it well and left.
I keep an extension cord sticking out from under my garage door for Christmas lights, electric yard tools, etc. It’s always there, but it’s not always plugged in. It happens to not be plugged in right now. Tuesday no workmen had arrived when I left for work, and they’d all left by the time I got home. Everything appeared normal.
Tuesday evening the guy shows back up, and this time he’s furious. Said I played a dirty trick on him, that the workmen all charged him for coming out even though they couldn’t do work with no power and that I owe him the $550 they charged him. According to him he came by Tuesday morning to turn the electricity on, but saw the extension cord poking out from under my garage door. He decided that I had changed my mind and set out the cord to communicate that, and therefore didn’t turn on his electricity. He claimed that my leaving the cord out constituted an implied contract that I would give him electricity, that my failure to provide him with the promised electricity is a tort and that I must put him right by paying the outcall fee the workmen charged him. I politely refused, citing my refusal the night before when he asked. He said that that was before I decided to play a “dirty trick” on him, that I owe him $550, and if I don’t pay he’ll see me in court. I told him I didn’t owe him anything, bade him good evening, and closed my door. He rang the doorbell a couple of times, but I ignored it and he left.
This is ludicrous, right? I know that the vast majority of times people threaten to sue they don’t go through with it, but if he does this will be fairly open and shut, won’t it? “Implied contract” sounds like a crock since my NAL brain thought intent to enter into a contract was a baseline requirement. If this goes to court can i just tell the judge I told the guy he couldn’t use my electricity? Or will I have to prove that I always keep the cord poking out from under the garage door? I checked the street view history on google maps, but the resolution is so low it actually looks like there isn’t a cord, and I don’t know how else to prove I didn’t set it out that night like he claims.
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Nov 16, 2017 21:40
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- Doggles
- Apr 22, 2007
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Use this one simple trick to get out of a relationship. Noisy boyfriends hate it!
I (23f) need to dump my BF (29m) of 3.5 years. We have to attend a mediation with our neighbors over his bass and noise. Is it ok to "throw him under the bus" as the problem in order to get rid of him?
quote:
I guess this is a very simple question.
I am sick of my boyfriend and want to break up with him, I guess that part is easy but we moved in together six months ago and I want him out (my name is on the lease, my apartment before).
His first week here, he turned his rap music up with his huge subwoofers at 2 AM and literally knocked pictures off my wall. First the neighbors banged on the wall then the door and I honestly thought the husband was going to murder one of us since he woke up their small kids.
Since then we have gotten five complaints from this couple and they've always been polite but warned that if it kept happening they were calling the management and maybe police. Today I got an email from the management company that they are requesting a mediation with us to fix this problem. This can happen as soon as tomorrow afternoon if everyone is available.
Since I want to break up with him anyways, can I "throw him under the bus" (for lack of a better term) if I tell everyone that he's the problem and I need help getting him out of the apartment.
I was crazy quiet before he moved in and we've gotten other complaints from the managment because my BF leaves his trash leaning against the dumpster instead of throwing it in, he sometimes will park in the handicapped spot, he leaves his dip bottles out on our back porch railing and other things...everyone would be happy to see him gone.
Basically is this an ok plan to get rid of him?
tl;dr: I want to break up with my boyfriend. Is it ok to throw him under the bus to my apartment management as a way to get rid of him?
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Nov 16, 2017 21:45
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- therobit
- Aug 19, 2008
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I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time
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What a dirty trick, not giving him free electricity after he said he wouldn't.
And what contractors in TYOOL 2017 don't have a generator on their truck?
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Nov 16, 2017 21:46
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- Meme Poker Party
- Sep 1, 2006
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by Azathoth
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Use this one simple trick to get out of a relationship. Noisy boyfriends hate it!
I (23f) need to dump my BF (29m) of 3.5 years. We have to attend a mediation with our neighbors over his bass and noise. Is it ok to "throw him under the bus" as the problem in order to get rid of him?
I hope she does. gently caress people like that.
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Nov 16, 2017 21:50
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- blarzgh
- Apr 14, 2009
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SNITCHIN' RANDY
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Grimey Drawer
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Use this one simple trick to get out of a relationship. Noisy boyfriends hate it!
I (23f) need to dump my BF (29m) of 3.5 years. We have to attend a mediation with our neighbors over his bass and noise. Is it ok to "throw him under the bus" as the problem in order to get rid of him?
I guess I don't get it - does she think that tattling on him at this weird meeting will cause him to break up with her?
Also, I don't think she's thought this through, because if its just her on the lease, she's about to gently caress herself by admitting to the management that he's been living there.
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Nov 16, 2017 21:54
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- Three Olives
- Apr 10, 2005
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Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.
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From Legal Advice:
[OK] Neighbor threatening to sue after I didn’t give him free electricity, citing implied contract.
So basically he is threatening to go to court and argue that he was disappointed at the outcome of trespassing on your property?
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Nov 16, 2017 21:54
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- Sestze
- Jun 6, 2004
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Cybernetic Crumb
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My dude, what do you define as a straight
A lot of people will say that bisexuals aren't allowed to weigh in because they're not gay enough, or start making up weird requirements that just seem arbitrary
If you kissed a dude in college can you talk about gay issues or do you have to be actively jerking a dude off to weigh in
To be serious, you're just going heavily into tribalism and insisting on exclusion and that's what leads into things like straight up being told that if you're a bisexual woman who starts going out with a guy, you were just faking it or going through a phase. It's dumb and bad.
I believe the necessary requirements for being in the LGBT community is if you identify as being Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. If you're not one of those things, as 3O said, you're welcome in the safe spaces that LGBT communities have and welcomed as an ally, but you're not part of that community and don't get to rewrite the rules for those communities.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:05
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- Blade Runner
- Aug 14, 2015
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Then again, the flipside to this is giving access and membership over to people who wouldn't represent the interests of the LGBT community.
I believe the necessary requirements for being in the LGBT community is if you identify as being Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. If you're not one of those things, as 3O said, you're welcome in the safe spaces that LGBT communities have and welcomed as an ally, but you're not part of that community and don't get to rewrite the rules for those communities.
Sure, but what does that mean? Is it purely self identification? If you're putting these rigid rules on it, is a guy who identifies as straight but has had sex with a couple of guys and didn't enjoy it much more or less welcome than a man who identifies as bisexual but got married to a woman when he was young and has only had sex with that woman? If you start ranking this community in terms of gayness and making distinctions on who can speak (see 3O saying that a woman who identifies as queer but only made out with a woman once stole something from the gays) that goes dumb places quick.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:12
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- Cough Drop The Beat
- Jan 22, 2012
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by Lowtax
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I had an awful time in secondary school, but at least I didn’t have to navigate this
Me (ftm age 15) have a huge crush on this guy (m 15) and he likes me back. Problem is he likes me as a girl.
I don't really know why kids care about having "serious" relationships in high school at gosh darn 15 years old. Just date people you're interested in and attracted to, dude. Enjoy a movie or coffee with your friend. Make out a bunch. Become a more confident, experienced person in the tough world of relationships. Jesus loving Christ. Take a chill pill and have some fun. You're not getting married tomorrow and this stuff never gets easier when you're older, so slow down while it's irrelevant low stakes bullshit.
Cough Drop The Beat fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Nov 16, 2017
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Nov 16, 2017 22:13
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- Sestze
- Jun 6, 2004
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Cybernetic Crumb
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heteroromantic haha are people just making poo poo up now
The Author posted:
I realized I was attracted to girls when I was 9 or 10 years old, upon seeing Shannon Elizabeth's bare breasts in the unrated version of American Pie. I never told anyone because even at such a young age, I understood it was probably something I should keep to myself. Later in life, I was bullied throughout elementary school and junior high for being weird. The thought of also being bullied because I was gay was unfathomable to me.
My attraction to boys became apparent when I was 14, when I fell for a feminine-looking French boy. Fearing the social stigma of being bi — or, worse, fearing that "bisexual" would be perceived as code for "slut" — I made the decision to only hook up with boys throughout high school, telling myself that I would just repress my same-sex attraction forever.
But when I finally came out as queer in college, something peculiar happened: nothing at all. I went to Oberlin College, a liberal arts school where sexual experimentation might as well have been part of the curriculum. Considering how anxious I'd been about coming out as bisexual as a teen, it was both shocking and incredibly freeing to find that everyone accepted my orientation right away.
A few years later, I've stopped publicly identifying as queer; because I've never dated a woman, I didn't feel it was specific enough to me and my experience. Instead, I identify as a heteroromantic bisexual, which means that while I'm sexually attracted to men and women, I only date men. Figuring out a more precise descriptor of my sexual identity helped me understand who I am.
And I'm not alone.
Sure, but what does that mean? Is it purely self identification? If you're putting these rigid rules on it, is a guy who identifies as straight but has had sex with a couple of guys and didn't enjoy it much more or less welcome than a man who identifies as bisexual but got married to a woman when he was young and has only had sex with that woman? If you start ranking this community in terms of gayness and making distinctions on who can speak (see 3O saying that a woman who identifies as queer but only made out with a woman once stole something from the gays) that goes dumb places quick.
COMRADES and I got into a discussion about this in the thread that 3O posted about it last time - it's about the cultural baggage that comes with being out of the closet, and devaluing the sacrifices of those that came before by being recklessly inclusive while at the same time handing the reigns over to hetero/cis interests seems like it's eroding those support structures and reducing the LGBT community's credibility.
Sestze fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Nov 16, 2017
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Nov 16, 2017 22:15
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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My dude, what do you define as a straight
A lot of people will say that bisexuals aren't allowed to weigh in because they're not gay enough, or start making up weird requirements that just seem arbitrary
If you kissed a dude in college can you talk about gay issues or do you have to be actively jerking a dude off to weigh in
To be serious, you're just going heavily into tribalism and insisting on exclusion and that's what leads into things like straight up being told that if you're a bisexual woman who starts going out with a guy, you were just faking it or going through a phase. It's dumb and bad.
I'm sorry to continue this dumb derail, my dude, but I am literally a bisexual woman in a relationship with a man so please don't try to use that as a wedge to tell me why people who are not lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans are LGBT. If you're LGBT you belong. If you're not, you don't, and you don't get to tell us who does.
Here's some drama:
(26f) husband (29m) of 3 years is in prison on 5 year sentence. I just found out his ex-GF (30s?) is giving money to his commissary account. He says its not cheating because he can't "touch" her and he needs the money for his safety.
quote:
u/jr_rt_55
I know this is a massively messed up situation. A year after we were married my husband was involved in a criminal activity. After a really long trial he was given 5 years (with no credit for time served, which is rare) so with good behavior he'll be out in about 2 years from now.
Since this isn't a common question, I'll just explain what commissary is. Basically it's like Amazon inside the prison where they order things like snacks, soap, razors and depending on status books and magazines. There's two ways to fund commisary accounts, he can work (he lost his job because he got into a fight) or people on the outside can fund the account. I've been putting money in ever since he went in.
I got an automated call from DOC last week that my debit card had been rejected and Dylan's commissary would not have enough to cover his order for the week. I looked on my account and saw that the payment had gone through. I figured it was a mistake but I brought it up with Dylan at visitation this week.
It was there he revealed that since he lost his job, he needs extra money for commissary because he uses it for safety and that he'd had no choice but to reach out to his ex-girlfriend for extra money. I was devastated because I've stood by him through all this. I know for a fact it wasn't just friendly banter and he's probably promising her that he will be with her when he gets out. I told him that he's cheating on me. He said it's not cheating because he can't actually touch her and that he has to do what he has to do to survive. I told him I'd give him more money but he said that it's better to do it this way because its harder for DOC to be in his business.
Our time was up and like always, we didn't leave with any clarity on this situation. he usually has ipad time on Monday nights and for the first time since he's been away he didn't use it to call me and I haven't heard from him.
I'm just devastated, I feel terrible because I don't know what he said to her but I consider it cheating. She lives really close so I guess I could go talk to her and figure out whats going on. I just feel like this is another horrible knock in a situation that is so hard for me and I know I don't know really what he goes through but he could have asked me for more money, he could have asked his family, he could have done a million things before taking money from her.
What should I do with this?
tl;dr: husband is getting his ex-girlfriend to fund his commissary account while in DOC.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:18
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- Motronic
- Nov 6, 2009
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/r/relationships: I'll just explain what commissary is. Basically it's like Amazon inside the prison
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Nov 16, 2017 22:23
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- Arturia
- Jan 24, 2017
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Can't stop clicking circles
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(26f) husband (29m) of 3 years is in prison on 5 year sentence. I just found out his ex-GF (30s?) is giving money to his commissary account. He says its not cheating because he can't "touch" her and he needs the money for his safety.
That sounds like a "cut your losses" situation. It sucks and obviously she was really committed to this since the prison sentence happened so early, but the writing is on the wall.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:24
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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So basically he is threatening to go to court and argue that he was disappointed at the outcome of trespassing on your property?
considering it's oklahoma he should be glad he entered and exited the property with the same number of holes
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Nov 16, 2017 22:24
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- Genocyber
- Jun 4, 2012
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I like positive stories because I'm weird, so:
Update: I (23f) was dumped by my friend group after breaking things off with an abusive ex and am having trouble moving on.
quote:It's been a month since my initial post, and let me just say y'all, I'm doing good.
I took the advice of this forum and deleted all of my old 'friends' on social media. Some noticed, some didn't. One girl messaged me asking if she had done 'anything wrong'--with all the politeness of my Southern upbringing, I diverted her question as to not discuss my abuse and personal life over frickin' Instagram message (of course, this was on Instagram, because that's all that matters to these people). Speaking of, I'm sure all of my old friends noticed me cutting them out online, because social media means everything to them. I still notice a few of them watch all of my Instagram stories almost right after I post them, which makes me pity that they missed out on an amazing person they probably think of often: me. Not seeing my old friends antics online allowed me to clear my head and just be less obsessed with missing them and my own loneliness. It was all fake anyway, carefully posed pictures of boring, mean, cold lives. I know that, because that used to be me.
I've learned to enjoy my own company this month, as well as joined a local D'n'D group as per the recommendations y'all. Nerdy as hell, not at all Instagram chic, but a total loving blast and the people are great. I've gone out dancing with them once (absolutely hilarious), and look forward to getting to know them more.
As for my abusive ex, I haven't heard anything about him other than seeing online that he's still partying and being his same old poo poo self. I went ahead and unfollowed the person who posted that video of him, too. I wrote a poem about how that video made me feel, and wouldn't you know yall, the place I submitted it to wanted to publish it. I have a mini book coming out next year, of poems I wrote when feeling absolutely alone. Seeing that video also inspired me to flush the rest of the drugs left in my house.
Thank you everyone for helping me through the darkness. The most important advice I received was that my friend group picked my ex because he was like them: empty, mean, and on the road to destruction.
I'm only a month in, but I feel like it's been a year. And I owe it to you guys. To other women getting out of abusive situations, you are a badass queen and not everyone will know how to handle your newfound strength. Keep shining.
tl;dr: Deleted old friends online, cleared my head, went sober-ish, became a half-elf druid, have a book coming out.
(The previous post had its body removed so I didn't bother to quote it.)
Genocyber fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Nov 16, 2017
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Nov 16, 2017 22:24
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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Amazon Inside: for all your prison needs
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Nov 16, 2017 22:24
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- Arturia
- Jan 24, 2017
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Can't stop clicking circles
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Amazon Inside: for all your prison needs
I think thats a different type of service
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Nov 16, 2017 22:26
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- MF_James
- May 8, 2008
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I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE
INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE
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I identify as a meat popsicle.
Totally not empty quoting. Don't popsicle shame me
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Nov 16, 2017 22:27
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Just a guess but it wasnt for stealing a loaf of bread.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:29
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- Arturia
- Jan 24, 2017
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Can't stop clicking circles
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Just a guess but it wasnt for having run and hid after stealing a mouthful of bread.
She said criminal action and that he punched his boss so I'm guessing assault.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:31
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I really want to know what commissary items he is using for survival
Is he bartering his way out of a shanking with M&Ms?
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Nov 16, 2017 22:32
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- Arturia
- Jan 24, 2017
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Can't stop clicking circles
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I really want to know what commissary items he is using for survival
Is he bartering his way out of a shanking with M&Ms?
If he can really get razors then I'm guessing those.
Plus m&ms
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Nov 16, 2017 22:34
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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Man I was really hoping I could just bribe my way out of a potential mugging by offering the mugger a Kit Kat or something
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Nov 16, 2017 22:36
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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maybe he literally means protection condoms
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Nov 16, 2017 22:37
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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My boyfriend thinks everything I [16F] do is "suspicious" (self.relationship_advice)
quote:
Hi! So I've been having a few issues lately. I've been together with this guy for like 2 months now, I'm 16 and he is 17. 2 months is like nothing but already we have had so many problems. Or well, problems if you ask me.
He finds everything I do suspicious, we have not known eachother for a long time so I do want my privacy when texting my family and such things. He says that he doesn't want to read my texts yet he gets upset that he can't see them. I am also not allowed to go home by myself, he seems to believe that I will go somewhere else. We are talking about a 5 minute walk in broad daylight.
He usually wants me to come over during nights and when I say that I don't want to he always says stuff like "oh then I'm gonna go out and drink and party" and that he will make stupid decisions. He also always says that we need to talk about something REALLY important and that we can not talk about it anywhere else but his place, but it always ends up being something really not important. He also tried to keep me from going to school once when I was at his place. I told him to let me go and stop holding me down but that didn't happen until I got really mad.
He also gets really mad when I don't reply within an hour, and as soon as someone touches me he gets angry pretty much.
My mother thinks that he will just become worse with these things and that he is the cause of my stress and anxiety. I've dealt with anxiety for a long time and I was getting better before I got into a relationship with him.
We go to the same school and he told me that he would quit if I broke up with him, and that his friends would really dislike me.
I don't know what to do and I've never been in a relationship before. Is this a healthy relationship?
Edit: Thank you all for the advice, I will talk to him tomorrow. I think it will be good for me to just take care of myself and my future.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:39
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- The Lone Badger
- Sep 24, 2007
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I really want to know what commissary items he is using for survival
Is he bartering his way out of a shanking with M&Ms?
Ramen packets.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:42
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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"*posts what is basically a checklist of abusive behavior and red flags*
is this healthy, reddit? I just can't tell!"
I feel so bad for teenagers.
If I'm ever in prison I'm gonna use the flavor packet as pocket sand.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:44
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- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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My boyfriend thinks everything I [16F] do is "suspicious" (self.relationship_advice)
I hope she brought backup when she talked to him or else she might get murdered.
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Nov 16, 2017 22:44
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- Criminal Minded
- Jan 4, 2005
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Spring break forever
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I don't really know why kids care about having "serious" relationships in high school at gosh darn 15 years old. Just date people you're interested in and attracted to, dude. Enjoy a movie or coffee with your friend. Make out a bunch. Become a more confident, experienced person in the tough world of relationships. Jesus loving Christ. Take a chill pill and have some fun. You're not getting married tomorrow and this stuff never gets easier when you're older, so slow down while it's irrelevant low stakes bullshit.
beep boop I don’t understand why people in the throes of puberty feel strongly about things
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Nov 16, 2017 22:45
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- Arturia
- Jan 24, 2017
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Can't stop clicking circles
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My boyfriend thinks everything I [16F] do is "suspicious" (self.relationship_advice)
these sub-18 y/o posts can almost always be solved by saying "your parent is right, break up"
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Nov 16, 2017 22:45
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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This one has no body, like all the best /r/legaladvice posts:
If I was temporarily dead, then resuscitated, could that be grounds for annulment? Is "Til Death do I Part" a legal term?(self.legaladvice)
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Nov 16, 2017 22:47
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 01:57
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- PetraCore
- Jul 20, 2017
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People who suffer actual LGBT discrimination belong in LGBT safe spaces, that is not CIS people or "asexuals" who for all intents and purposes are heteronormative, they can gently caress right off and find a hobby or something that isn't forcing themselves into the LGBT community claiming to be part of it.
Also I think you mistyped something, since it'd be dumb to claim that cis people can't be LGB. I'm presuming you mean cis people that experience exclusively het attraction, regardless of the intensity? How does that work with someone who doesn't experience any attraction, het or otherwise, and how does that work for bi people? Is there a point where they have to be 'bi enough' to be included? Because like, imo a woman who is mostly attracted to men but sometimes attracted to other women is still bi, and thus still part of the LGBT community.
EDIT: I mean this isn't really the thread to have this debate even. I'm just pointing out it's not as clear-cut as you're saying.
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Nov 16, 2017 23:43
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Nov 16, 2017 21:40
beaten?!
from him and then never date anyone again you hopeless wreck.
