/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Apparently it comes down to him thinking she's fat:

quote:

Oh it definitely did... Honestly, everyone wants me to dump him. Last weekend he decided to tell me sex is better with the lights off and that my mom is fat and girls end up looking like their moms, and that it isn't pleasant to look at me naked and no wonder I didn't send him a naked picture, and that he's more attracted to my personality.... I mean I'm kind of chubby (5'8 and 160), but I'm not fat really. Also, we've been dating like 11 months and talking 14, and we've been having sex a while.... He was mad at me for nagging him about going to see Thor:Ragnarok, so he decided to say all that. He also said he doesn't want to do things with me because I'm fragile and not in the best shape, so he wants to go bike riding, go playing tennis... etc. But I mean he hasn't done any of those things in the 14 months I've known him.

Then maybe just maybe, he shouldn't be with her instead of being such a tremendous piece of poo poo? Also he wants a fit gf but doesn't do any sports himself :rolleyes:

. Entitled cowards are the worst.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 13:59

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# ? May 26, 2024 16:59

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My husband(33M) and I(24F) work in the adult industry, should we make up a "cover job" to tell our families?

quote:

Throwaway account because duh.

So, I guess I should start this by saying why we started down this path. I have a disease (hereditary, I was born with it) that goes through remission and flares and reacts very poorly to stress. I have a weakened immune system so it's hard for me to leave the house without catching something. It makes it very difficult for me to keep regular work/school hours. I was on homebound schooling for the last part of high school, eventually dropped out of college due to my health, and I lost three different jobs due to flares or extended illness.

One day, a couple of years ago, I got a message from an old friend on FB. He said he and his gf had started webcam modeling and they were making a lot of money. They recommended a couple sites, but I didn't think my husband (bf at the time) would be into it so I didn�t bring it up. After I lost another job, however, I started doing more research into modeling and finally broached the subject with BF. He was down! (We obviously discussed limits, expectations, what we were comfortable with, etc.)

We spent the next two years working on our brand. He works full time so I handle more of the live broadcasting, marketing stuff, editing and offline work, and we produce videos together on his off days.

The ability to make my own schedule and work when I'm able is perfect! I'm able to do tons of art and produce work that I'm extremely proud of. I love this job, my husband is proud of the progress I've made and the business I've built. I make the same, sometimes more than he does at his full-time job. If not for health insurance, he would quit his job tomorrow and make this our sole income.

Let me clarify- we only make amateur content together in our home. I have no problem with people who pursue mainstream porn, I just wanted to stick to working at home due to my health. We use location blocking for our home and family's' states, and we have fully discussed and explored the "what if they find out" scenario. That's not the issue I'm looking for advice on.

The main thing I want input on is that fact that I appear to be just a moocher off of my husband, in the eyes of everyone who doesn�t know about my job (my mom, sister, and close friends know). I'd love to be honest, but my husband's family is very religious and we know they would not approve. I'm just tired of having no answer to "what have you been up to" and "what do you do?" People are constantly telling me about job openings, dog, and house sitting opportunities, ect that I have to make up excuses to turn down.

This job allows me to be a model, producer, video editor, photographer, marketing manager, among other things, but I can't really share any of that without further explanation. We're trying to come up with a "cover business" or just some vanilla version of my job that I can share.

"Modeling" would be easily de-bunked, as I wouldn�t be registered through any agencies, and it would sound creepy if I just said "I have friends that take pictures of me." "Photography" would be great, but the only non-work related photos I take are of my pets. "Cosplay" is the closest possibility, but I don�t even watch that much anime and prefer putting together original costumes. "Costume Design" but I don�t sew beyond the most basic hand-stitch. "Extreme Coupon-er" ???

Or maybe you'll think none of this fa�ade is worth it, and I should just be a "homemaker" in their eyes, diligently caring for our cat and dog while he brings home the bacon.

I know I'm going to hear the stereotypical comments "you can't do porn forever" "Get a real job" "You're a victim" "You don�t deserve to be proud of this job" "How can you possibly lie to people" (sorry we don�t want to tell our grandmothers we do porn!)

We love working in the adult industry, and we love having sex with each other. We pay taxes for this job. I am saving up for whatever schooling I decide to pursue, as well as saving to launch my own business selling my art (I sell pieces for $3-500) once we finish an addition on our house. We plan on working in the industry for many years to come. This is just something that nags at me, and I know he feels bad that I have to lie about pulling my weight.

Lastly, because it is required but not relevant, we dated for 3 years and have been married for 1.

Input is appreciated! Thanks for reading my long rant.

TL;DR My Husband (33M) and I (24F) make porn. We love it and make a steady living, but we need a "cover business" to tell our families.

quote:

I've thought about even building a faux website. Training/instruction videos would be good, plus there's all those "unboxing" videos on youtube.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 14:24

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

ArbitraryC posted:

I like how the boyfriend who had undoubtedly been told about the evil twin situation just immediately hosed her when given the chance.

Yeah, there's no such thing as identical twins. Very similar twins, sure. Rarely, even incredibly similar twins. Never 'identical'.

If you know one twin, you would instantly be able to spot their twin as not being them. Especially in a situation involving nudity and sex.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 14:52

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Yeah, I have a pair of friends who are identical twins, when I first met them I'd always confuse them, but after actually spending time with one I never had any difficulty telling them apart.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:03

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Gorilla Salad posted:

Yeah, there's no such thing as identical twins. Very similar twins, sure. Rarely, even incredibly similar twins. Never 'identical'.

If you know one twin, you would instantly be able to spot their twin as not being them. Especially in a situation involving nudity and sex.

Are you dumb? "Identical" twins are genetically identical, as opposed to "fraternal" twins who come from different sperm and eggs from each other and are just brother and sister.

You're nitpicking

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:07

pray for my aunt: Feb 13, 2012; 14980c8b8a96fd9e279796a61cf82c9c

There is no such thing a photocopy. Very similar print, sure.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:14

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

Palpek posted:

My husband(33M) and I(24F) work in the adult industry, should we make up a "cover job" to tell our families?

Just say you have been doing some telemarketing from home. Just pick a big company that wouldnt know your name anyways just in case someone in the family asks how x relative could get into home telemarketing.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:20

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

ikanreed posted:

Are you dumb? "Identical" twins are genetically identical, as opposed to "fraternal" twins who come from different sperm and eggs from each other and are just brother and sister.

You're nitpicking

Sounds like you're the one nitpicking. I think everyone understands the distinction here, but "identical twins" aren't so identical once they grow up. Even if they have the same hair cut (weird) there's mannerisms, clothing, scars, build (i.e. weight, how in shape they are) and all of the other things that make two different people different.

I grew up with two sets of identical twins and there is another set on the in law side of my family. Like ZearothK said, none of them have ever been difficult for me to tell apart once I got to know at lest one of them.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:26

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

ikanreed posted:

Are you dumb? "Identical" twins are genetically identical, as opposed to "fraternal" twins who come from different sperm and eggs from each other and are just brother and sister.

You're nitpicking

No, you're an idiot.

I never said they can't be genetically identical. I said they never look identical.

Doo doo head.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:40

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Accepting bets:

My bf(27) is weird about the porn he watches/browser history (f22) (4 months)

quote:

So we have been seeing each other for 4 months and we just moved in together and went on a vacation to Bali for a week. We are moving quickly and it�s a pretty serious relationship with talks of �forever�.

We both have very high sex drives. We have sex 2 times per day. However, since moving in together about 2-3 weeks ago, he has been opting to wanking to porn instead of having sex with me. So now we have sex once per day and then at night I try to initiate sex and he says he�s too tired and makes me go to bed so he can wank privately in the study.

He has told me exactly what type of porn he watches. We still have amazing sex. However, when I have walked out of the bedroom he quickly closes the tabs and stops and tells me to go away.

When this happened 2-3 times I got suspicious. I have questioned him but he says he just doesn�t want me to see him doing it/watching porn. I don�t understand this because we�ve watched porn together and he�s open about what he�s into. We have spoken about how cam sites are off limits and chatting to girls online is also a no no. I�m not sure what else it could be?

So once again tonight he was really secretive and I laid in bed just thinking about how strange he acts in regards to it. So I decided to ask to see his history. I know it sounds crazy, but I thought there is no harm asking since if there is nothing to hide he would just show me and it would be porn sites. All good, no worries......

However, when asked if he could show me the history, he said he deletes it every time (its a desk top used exclusively by him to watch porn so there�s no reason to delete it ever but whatever).

So I said: okay that�s fine, just show me the deleted history and I�ll move on. He refused to show me even the deleted history to prove his story.

He keeps changing the subject, but I keep coming back to it. He gets angry and tells me to just forget about it and trust him, and that he�s just watching regular porn and it�s none of my business.

He said he�s never showing me the history EVER. It made it all so much more sus.

He was acting weird. I know that he�s hiding something I just have that gut feeling that somethings not right.

I told him that tonight is the only night he can just show me the history and move on. From now on he�ll just be more secretive. He just said again that he�s never showing me.

He�s cheated on his past 2 girlfriends for context why I feel anxious.

Any guys shed some light on this? What should I do? We just signed a 1 year lease. To make matters worse we work together for a small family business in which his parents are my boss�s.

I feel like this is break up worthy because I have lost all trust. But we honestly can�t break up it�s not possible for a long time. I would need to fill my lease and find a new job.

All opinions would be appreciated!

TLDR: Bf secretive of web browser history, refuses to show me. I don�t care what it is, just don�t want secrets.

Edit: Option 1: has hiding something and got caught out and couldn�t show me history Option 2: he�s just being stubborn and doesn�t want to do what I say (regular type thing) Option 3: he is annoyed at my lack of trust and doesn�t want to show me

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:41

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Gay porn or kiddie porn?

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:43

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Gorilla Salad posted:

No, you're an idiot.

I never said they can't be genetically identical. I said they never look identical.

Doo doo head.

They're called "identical twins" so when you say "there's no such thing as 'identical twins'" the context dictates that you're saying we have a name for something that doesn't exist, not a partially inaccurate name for something that does exist.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:45

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Palpek posted:

Accepting bets:

I'm going to guess that if they're knocking it out twice a day before he gets lazy, he's not so differently oriented that its anything deviant. She said at some point in the last 4 months, "No Cam Girls." so its obviously cam girls.

Palpek posted:

I don�t care what it is, just don�t want secrets.

The biggest lie in the whole relationship.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:50

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

Palpek posted:

Accepting bets:

My bf(27) is weird about the porn he watches/browser history (f22) (4 months)

Why bother dating someone you know has an established pattern of cheating? Like, you know how this is going to turn out, right?

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:53

ZearothK: Aug 25, 2008; I've lost twice, I've failed twice and I've gotten two dishonorable mentions within 7 weeks. But I keep coming back. I am The Trooper!

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Dienes posted:

Why bother dating someone you know has an established pattern of cheating? Like, you know how this is going to turn out, right?

No, because I'm special and this time will be different.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:54

VanSandman: Feb 16, 2011; SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Palpek posted:

Accepting bets:

My bf(27) is weird about the porn he watches/browser history (f22) (4 months)

Gonna go out on a limb and guess animal or furry.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Dienes posted:

Why bother dating someone you know has an established pattern of cheating? Like, you know how this is going to turn out, right?

Itsnotdifferentatallisitsteve.gif

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:56

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

blarzgh posted:

They're called "identical twins" so when you say "there's no such thing as 'identical twins'" the context dictates that you're saying we have a name for something that doesn't exist, not a partially inaccurate name for something that does exist.

I really don't think it was that difficult to understand what he meant. Context matters. I wouldn't have thought to read that as "identical twins aren't a thing at all" until I saw another goon blow up about it. He obviously meant visually identical.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:57

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Lets move in together after 4 months with a dude who has cheated on his last 2 girlfriends putting myself in a situation i can't get out of if I would want to get out

a great idea

- genius woman

# ? Nov 20, 2017 15:59

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I can't show you what I'm doing on my dedicated porn machine, you will have to trust me. I'm not doing anything weird, it's all regular porn that I've told you about, just trust me. I'm actually refusing to have sex with you in favor of watching porn on the porn machine� despite us having similar sex drives but trust me. I'm also only using the porn machine when you're asleep and I'm deleting every trace of what I'm doing every single night and I will NEVER show you what I'm doing on it but you have to trust me. I also cheated on both my previous girlfriends but get this - trust me.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:13

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Absolutely cam girls. Possibly spending an embarrassing amount of money on them.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:27

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; It's how her species communicates

He's that mother fucker that's getting all that incest porn to the most popular page on Pornhub.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:38

iustorum_anime: Apr 4, 2016

Can I marry my (potential) step-sister? (self.legaladvice)

quote:

About 4 months ago, I proposed to my girlfriend (we had been dating for several years), and she accepted. We started planning for our wedding soon after, and sent out invitations a couple weeks ago. Me and my mother don�t get along, and I went no contact with her a year ago, but today she called me and told me that we could not get married. I asked why, and she said she is dating my girlfriend�s father, and that once they got married, we would have to separate since incest is illegal and she would be my step sister.

I asked my girlfriend when she got home, and she asked her father. It turns out that they have been dating for almost a year now, and although he has known me for several years, he didn�t realize he was dating my mother because my mother has the last name of her most recent husband (she�s been married 5 times, I was fathered by her second husband). He showed my mother the wedding invitation, and I guess she decided to break the news to me before him.

My girlfriend and I love each other, and we both want to stay together, but we are worried there might be a shotgun wedding to prevent us from getting married. My potential step-father has said he will have to collect his feelings to figure out how to approach this. He said he wasn�t planning on proposing anytime soon, but we're worried my mother might pressure him into this to try and spite me now that she knows about his daughter and I. I hope that he breaks up with her, but if they are indeed a match, it is a horrible thought to want them to be separated.

If our parents get married first, will we be unable to? Would there be any consequences if we were to have children without getting married if we are step-siblings? If we were to marry first, would it still be fine for our parents to marry later on? Should we just go to wherever they do marriage licenses and get married now (but still do the ceremony in a few months as originally planned)? Or are we doomed to be forcibly separated regardless?

Edit: I'm in New York, sorry!

Edit again: Thank you guys so much for the advice! We are so happy that we don't have to worry about this anymore, but getting married at the courthouse (or wherever they do marriage licenses) before then is likely what we will do for peace of mind. And seeing as our 4th year anniversary is coming up next week, we'll probably do it then.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:47

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

chemtrail huffer posted:

Can I marry my (potential) step-sister? (self.legaladvice)

Marry her before they get married, problem solved.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:52

Barudak: May 7, 2007

If your mother is on husband number 6 at minimum i really wouldnt worry at all about who she marries

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:56

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Barudak posted:

If your mother is on husband number 6 at minimum i really wouldnt worry at all about who she marries

Yes I know this looks bad, your honor, but the truth is my mother is just a whore

# ? Nov 20, 2017 16:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Who even shows up for a 6th wedding? Like I get the people marrying each other are clearly idiots but if youre getting married more times than it takes to win an NBA championship I feel like viewership must decline.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:01

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Sorry son, to spite you I decided to marry the entire town so that all your potential girlfriends are your step-sisters and therefore illegal for you to marry.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:06

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Maybe the plan is to marry every judge in America so they all have to recuse themselves from her trials and she can commit any crime

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:08

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

ArbitraryC posted:

I like how the boyfriend who had undoubtedly been told about the evil twin situation just immediately hosed her when given the chance.

I can definitely understand loving your high school bully (which is what he appeared to think was happening) as being a fantasy for some people. It�s goddamn hilarious that he started sobbing in the middle of it, though.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:22

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Barudak posted:

Who even shows up for a 6th wedding? Like I get the people marrying each other are clearly idiots but if youre getting married more times than it takes to win an NBA championship I feel like viewership must decline.

Hey, free food and booze. Hopefully.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:26

TheScott2K: Oct 26, 2003; I'm just saying, there's a nonzero chance Trump has a really toad penis.

Barudak posted:

Who even shows up for a 6th wedding? Like I get the people marrying each other are clearly idiots but if youre getting married more times than it takes to win an NBA championship I feel like viewership must decline.

I don't even show up for a third. If you can't get that poo poo right in two shots you're no longer eligible for the blessings of matrimony.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:26

navier-stoked: Aug 30, 2004

Clark Nova posted:

I can definitely understand loving your high school bully (which is what he appeared to think was happening) as being a fantasy for some people. It�s goddamn hilarious that he started sobbing in the middle of it, though.

she just needs to move away from her home town

Palpek posted:

Apparently it comes down to him thinking she's fat:

Then maybe just maybe, he shouldn't be with her instead of being such a tremendous piece of poo poo? Also he wants a fit gf but doesn't do any sports himself . Entitled cowards are the worst.

Palpek posted:

He said my biggest issues are:
1.) Being a people pleaser
2.) Breathing too heavy
3.) My arm being too heavy on him at night
4.) Being too nice

2 and 3 make more sense in the context of him not liking her weight lol

maybe with #4 he said that she was too "jolly"

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:29

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Girl I met on a dating app recorded our sex chat and now she's blackmailing me for money
(self.legaladvice)

quote:

[NY]

Hey guys, sorry to bother.

I�m sorry, to be posting here. This is so embarrassing for me, especially because I thought I knew better than this.

It all started a couple of days ago. I downloaded this dating app, and there was this girl who contacted me. I was stunned and excited that someone as gorgeous as her would be interested in me. So I messaged back, we talked for a bit, and then she said she wanted to video chat. I generally know better, but in this case, I was so excited I said yes.

Anyway, she wanted to sex chat through skype and I agreed. Shortly into the middle of it, the video cut off, and showed my Facebook, as well as a replay of my side of the chat. That�s when I realized the girl I was talking to was actually a recorded video, and the person in the account was probably fake too. So they know my fb account, all my contacts, and they have a recording of my side of the sex chat.

They demanded money from me through a transfer and I gave it to them everything I had, and they promised to delete it later that night. But when the time came, they said the needed more money, and that if I didn�t they would post it on my fb page and send it to all my friends. I told them I had no more money, but they told me to find a way.

I really need help. Please guys, I�m desperate.

How blindly horny do you have to be to not notice the person you're interacting with is a pre-recorded video

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:34

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

chemtrail huffer posted:

Can I marry my (potential) step-sister? (self.legaladvice)

They shouldn't get married just on the basis of being such loving morons that they think this is an issue.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:35

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

ahahahaha and he gave them his money ahahaha

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:36

navier-stoked: Aug 30, 2004

Three Olives posted:

They shouldn't get married just on the basis of being such loving morons that they think this is an issue.

tbh i think the fears that their kid may wind up stupid may not be unfounded

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:36

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

I haven't used facebook in years, but can't you set your privacy settings to not allow someone who isn't a friend to post on your wall? Why isn't his FB not private to begin with? Couldn't he just delete their post? What a moron.

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:38

navier-stoked: Aug 30, 2004

Demon Of The Fall posted:

I haven't used facebook in years, but can't you set your privacy settings to not allow someone who isn't a friend to post on your wall? Why isn't his FB not private to begin with? Couldn't he just delete their post? What a moron.

nothing about that story indicates the dude is very competent in... anything

# ? Nov 20, 2017 17:39

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# ? May 26, 2024 16:59

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Palpek posted:

I [25 f] don't know how long to wait for my boyfriend [23 m] to decide whether or not he wants to break up.

The heavy arm thing is really the end of any relationship, imo. If their arm is heavy, they are heavy with guilt. He needs to :sever:

from OP.

Admiral Ray fucked around with this message at 19:43 on Nov 20, 2017

# ? Nov 20, 2017 18:05

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