/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

he sounds like a winner

# ? Nov 28, 2017 13:45

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# ? May 27, 2024 03:46

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

"He vomited when I kissed him but somehow I'm gonna steal him away from you."

I feel bad for the OP.

Also, who the gently caress plays Spin the Bottle in 2017?

# ? Nov 28, 2017 13:49

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

22 year olds apparently

# ? Nov 28, 2017 13:53

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

lmao at that bunch of idiots.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 14:39

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Bubblyblubber posted:

Once again my default assumption of "everybody on these stories is a moron" pays off.

My [21F] friend [21F] kissed my boyfriend [22M] in front of me and our other friends. When I confronted her, our friends defended her.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 14:46

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Girl I'm not interested in is lying about having our child and threatening to sue me under false pretenses
(self.legaladvice)

quote:

Location: Boston

I'm a male and I met this woman 2 years ago and got involved with her casually. When I tried to break it off, she dropped this bomb that she's pregnant. Mind you, none of this was proven, but she insisted I paid for all these hospital bills and give her all this money for child support (for a kid I've never seen because she always conveniently prevented it) AND a savings account for this kid already up front. I went along with it because I didn't think someone could gently caress with you this badly and lie so callously. I found out that it was all a lie when this highly unstable person sent me stock photos of babies saying it's the one she gave birth to. She refuses to produce a birth certificate or other proof, and the whole time she is threatening to take me to court if I don't cough up the cash. She stole my credit cards and charge them without asking me, and she's sending me emails under fake names threatening to physically harm me. I wanted to keep the peace because we share an apartment together until the end of January, and tonight she's locked me out of the apartment since I stopped giving her money. Where do I even begin to tackle this, because I fear a backlash at every corner with this emotionally volatile human. I've wasted 2 years of my life and thousands of dollars, and I just want to cut this clean out of my life.

The dictionary definition of a gormless idiot.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 15:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Serephina posted:

Derail!

I loving looove that term, serial monogamy. It's always used IRL with such vitriol in the voice, like some sort of bizzaro-world pejorative slut-shaming. It belongs to that great group of words that say more about the person using them than the person it's aimed at. (Incidentally, is there a term for that group of words/phrases?)

Completely agreed. There's nothing wrong with two people being in a committed stable relationship, and it does happen. Old people still for real in love is the best btw, I also still see them so it's not like it was always--a [i]lie[/]!

# ? Nov 28, 2017 15:56

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

It's casual but we're living together, we're living together but she got pregnant and gave birth and I've never seen the kid that lives with me

What

# ? Nov 28, 2017 15:56

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

La Brea Carpet posted:

Girl I'm not interested in is lying about having our child and threatening to sue me under false pretenses
(self.legaladvice)

The dictionary definition of a gormless idiot.

Pretty sure this dude has schizophrenia because otherwise I have no clue what's going on. :psyduck:

# ? Nov 28, 2017 15:58

Shugojin: Sep 6, 2007; THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...

Hhhhooowwwww does someone even for a second believe that there is a mystery kid that they never see when the woman lives in the same apartment

# ? Nov 28, 2017 15:59

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

It was an ectopic pregnancy you insensitive clod.

The foetus developed outside the womb. And outside her body. And down the street. And in another city.

You jerk!

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:01

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

La Brea Carpet posted:

Girl I'm not interested in is lying about having our child and threatening to sue me under false pretenses
(self.legaladvice)

The dictionary definition of a gormless idiot.

There's a rabbit hole here... Previous post by poster:
26 F Cambridge learning to hike (self.BostonSocialClub)

quote:

So I've never been a hiker but been curious lately and think I have the mindset for it now. I want to start local and then explore outward. Does anyone know any good hiking locations in Boston then further and further out, and wanna join? Gonna go with or without you

So either a fake or someone look for potential rape victims.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:09

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Serephina posted:

Of course, I could just be 'sperging out about the literal definition of a phrase, when it's supposed to imply that a person is not comfortable with being single and just compulsively throws themselves into the next relationship asap. That certainly is a red flag, but there's so many better ways of describing it other than Serial loving Monogamy. Like 'Is afraid to be alone', which I have heard a lot and has been around forever, or maybe a more snarky 'Compulsive Monogamist'.

compulsive monogamist sounds like a completely different phrase than serial monogamist. Serial monogamy is literally "a string of monogamist events", compulsive monogamy sounds more like they're unable to date more than one person at a time.

And I had a friend who is a "serial monogamist." He'd literally have a mental loving breakdown between relationships. Six weeks in to his latest relationship they had a two year plan (including specific dates) beginning with immediately moving in with each other and ending in marriage.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:13

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I (23F) changed my appearance and am now struggling with looking/feeling "generic". Any advice?

quote:

So, I'm of Indian origin and live in the US. People believe we all look the same. I get confused with every other Indian person that people happen to know. I never really liked this feeling. For the last few years, I've had a pixie cut. This helped me stand out a bit and helped me feel like an individual. At least where I live, there aren't too many Indian women with short hair.

I'm getting married in six months so I'm growing out my hair. It's customary for brides to have long hair at the wedding. But the process has been a bit bleak for my self-identity. My fiance (24M) has called me the wrong name (calling me the name of Indian women he knows at work). My friends keep saying I look like people they happen to know (when I don't, we all just happen to be Indian). It doesn't help that I have a sort of generic personality and not a lot of standout traits.

Is there anything I can do to feel better about myself, and to better handle these situations in public?
tl;dr: Gave up 'unique' haircut and am now generic looking, especially for my race. Need help with feeling like a face in the crowd.

quote:

quote:
We all do it now and again - but the choice of mistaken name would freak me the f*ck out.
If he'd called you by his dog's name I'd be less worried!

Yeah, I'm used to being called by the family dog's name or my sister's/mom's name. (my dad always forgets our names and mixes them up, haha) but this just feels uncomfortable to me. I know he doesn't mean it or anything but it still sticks with me.

Palpek fucked around with this message at 16:17 on Nov 28, 2017

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:14

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Hahahaha the guy deleted the OP but the comment is enough:

Is this cheating? What can I do?

quote:

[deleted]

quote:

You didn't want to break "no-fap November" so you cheated on your girlfriend.

Repeat that to yourself. You didn't want to cheat on a trivial internet promise so you Cheated. On. Your. Girlfriend.

Yes you cheated. You got your dick tugged by a stranger for money. Again, because you didn't want to break an internet promise.

This is ridiculous.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:25

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Arent these no fap idiots convinced it makes you smarter because hoooooo boy

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:29

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Barudak posted:

Arent these no fap idiots convinced it makes you smarter because hoooooo boy

Increased manliness, like the stuck up adults believe when the protagonist of Cat's Cradle is growing up.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:34

Buzkashi: Feb 4, 2003; College Slice

Me [29/F] with my boyfriend [35/F]: His ex [34/F] has been living with him 1 year and I don't know whether to stay or leave.

quote:

Hello reddit,

I'm using a throwaway from my main account because people around me know my main. This will be a long one, so if you read it all THANK YOU!

So I have been dating this man for 7 months. We really hit it off and are crazy about one another. The chemistry is amazing! We work in the same field, have the same interests and similar personalities. I know it sounds cliche, but I feel like I've known him all my life.

The problem is that his ex girlfriend has been living with him for the last year.

When we had first started dating, he told me he wanted to be honest about a complicated situation he was in. He said that his ex girlfriend was mentally ill, but trying her best to work and make a living and he was letting her live with him until she got "back on her feet". She had been living there for 3 months and she was going to be out by the end of the current month.

I am sure this should have been a red flag, and I blame myself for that, but he is a very kind person and I thought he had good intentions (and still do). Well now we have been together 9 months and it has been 1 year of her living with him and she's still there. She has a part time job and a car. She has 2 kids by a previous relationship that she does not have custody of. She is mentally unstable and has had a history of drug/alcohol abuse (she is supposedly sober now).

We spend the majority of our time at my place (I thankfully live alone) but he likes cooking dinner at his place for me. When I go over there, she is always there and it is incredibly awkward. He lives in a small two bedroom condo and if we are at the table eating dinner, she is on the couch watching TV. She will say "hi" to me but for the most part doesn't say much.

I try to get him to stay at my place on the weekends, and he does some, but usually says "I need to get back and check on her." I have made it very clear that I am uncomfortable with this living arrangement. I've made it clear from day one, but he would keep saying "by the end of the month she'll be gone" and he's been saying that every month for 9 months now.

I feel like he is choosing her over me.

When we had a forced evacuation due to wildfires, I called him and told him I would come get him and his stuff and we could drive to my sisters house to stay. He refused to go, saying he "couldn't leave her" (reminder that she has a car). Then evacuated with her the next day.

I don't know what to do. I love this man, and we could have something amazing if she wasn't in the picture. I get helping people out, and I love his generous heart but this has gotten out of hand. Now when I mention her getting her own place, he changes the subject and won't look me in the eye.

Reddit, if anyone can offer words of wisdom or advice, I would appreciate it. I want to grow something amazing with this man, but I just feel like he consistently chooses her over me. Should I stay and hope this situation works itself out, or leave this relationships that has so much potential?

Thank you if you read all of this!

tl;dr: My boyfriend's ex has been living with him for a year. She has mental illness and past drug/alcohol abuse. He said he was trying to get her on her feet again, but it has been so long and he changes the subject when I bring it up. I could really see myself spending my life with him, but I feel as though he chooses her over me. Should I leave, stay? I just need advice.

For sale, three spines, never used

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:42

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

Barudak posted:

Arent these no fap idiots convinced it makes you smarter because hoooooo boy

Hey, it worked for George Costanza!

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:42

Shugojin: Sep 6, 2007; THE TAIL THAT BURNS TWICE AS BRIGHT...

Gorilla Salad posted:

It was an ectopic pregnancy you insensitive clod.

The foetus developed outside the womb. And outside her body. And down the street. And in another city.

You jerk!

Really more of an ectoplasmic pregnancy at that point

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:54

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Given the staggering stupidity of the person posting it, I assume the baby is real, theyre legally married, and the �suit� is the government telling him he cant get out of the payments.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:55

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Hey, it worked for George Costanza!

Did anything ever work out for George Constanza? Aside from his killer wedding invites?

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:55

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

La Brea Carpet posted:

Girl I'm not interested in is lying about having our child and threatening to sue me under false pretenses
(self.legaladvice)

The dictionary definition of a gormless idiot.

Did any comments manage to puzzle out some sense from this?

# ? Nov 28, 2017 16:56

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Outrail posted:

Did anything ever work out for George Constanza? Aside from his killer wedding invites?

That time he got promoted because he never moved his car.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:03

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

La Brea Carpet posted:

Girl I'm not interested in is lying about having our child and threatening to sue me under false pretenses
(self.legaladvice)

The dictionary definition of a gormless idiot.

I bet this dude clicks on ads on porn sites.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:04

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Also, who the gently caress plays Spin the Bottle in 2017?

I played spin the bottle once...in 1997. When I was 15

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:36

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Outrail posted:

Did any comments manage to puzzle out some sense from this?

1.) Dude hooks up with woman, she is insane, he attempts to dump her.

2.) She plays the pregnant card and he pays for all medical bills and sets up an account for the baby.

3.) No baby is ever produced but dude keeps giving her money

4.) ????????

5.) She ends up living with him sans baby and racks up thousands in credit card debt then locks him out of the house.

6.) His auto reminder to breathe doesn't go off and he dies, probably

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:44

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Pick posted:

Old people still for real in love is the best btw

My grandparents were married 66 years, until my grandfather passed in June. They were one of those adorable old couples you see that still held hands in public.

Sixty-six years.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:48

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Bertrand Hustle posted:

My grandparents were married 66 years, until my grandfather passed in June. They were one of those adorable old couples you see that still held hands in public.

Sixty-six years.

Shoulda made it 3 more years for that sweet 69

# ? Nov 28, 2017 17:53

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Palpek posted:

Me [34 M] and my date [31 F] disagree on what an exclusive relationship is.

am I reading? And this isn't a kindergarten story?

It's full of crazy but it does bring up the question, why don't we really have a term for what she is describing. Like you aren't "trying" the relationship anymore, barring something cataclysmic you won't be separating, you have long term plans together, there just isn't legal paperwork cementing your relationship. There is partner but that can be ambiguous, significant other does have that much gravity.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:04

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Three Olives posted:

It's full of crazy but it does bring up the question, why don't we really have a term for what she is describing. Like you aren't "trying" the relationship anymore, barring something cataclysmic you won't be separating, you have long term plans together, there just isn't legal paperwork cementing your relationship. There is partner but that can be ambiguous, significant other does have that much gravity.

I thought that was literally what boyfriend/girlfriend are for

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:10

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Three Olives posted:

It's full of crazy but it does bring up the question, why don't we really have a term for what she is describing. Like you aren't "trying" the relationship anymore, barring something cataclysmic you won't be separating, you have long term plans together, there just isn't legal paperwork cementing your relationship. There is partner but that can be ambiguous, significant other does have that much gravity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concubinage

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:14

Aerox: Jan 8, 2012

Yawgmoth posted:

I thought that was literally what boyfriend/girlfriend are for

It ended up not being an issue at all because she was fine with it but years ago my girlfriend was shocked when, after agreeing to be exclusive, I referred to her as my girlfriend.

Apparently for some people there exists a weird category where "we are completely exclusive but not boyfriend/girlfriend," but I couldn't get a definition of what that actually meant except "boyfriend/girlfriend is more serious."

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:14

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

My [25M] girlfriend of a year [23F] thinks I don't love her as much because I haven't cried during sex

quote:

I'm new to Reddit so apologies if the title wasn't worded correctly.

My girlfriend and I love each other very much and I know sex means a lot to her in terms of importance/intimacy. I'm not sure how the conversation started but we were talking about how many people we've been with (which we talked about before we started dating). My number including her is 6 and her number including me is 4.

In the conversation she insinuated that sex isn't important to me because I've been with 6 people. Obviously this is where it got a little heated because my number is only 2 more than hers! I even went and looked up the average number of sexual partners in your lifetime (for Americans) and it's around 7. So I was arguing that even though my number is higher than hers it's still below average. I also explained that yes it's not as important as it is to her but it's still important to me. If she all of a sudden went celibate I'm not sure if I would be willing to continue the relationship.

On a scale 1-10, with 10 being most important, she says sex is a 10 for her. For me I said it was a 7 but she thinks it's lower. It was then when she asked why isn't sex more important to you? which I didn't have a solid answer to at the time. She feels that society/our generation is so lacks when it comes to sex and that no one is intimate anymore.

I don't think she's wrong at all but since having this conversation I thought about her question: if sex is so important to her why does she engage in it before marriage? She's fairly religious and her faith is important to her so I think that'd be a fair question to ask just playing devil's advocate. I find sex important enough not to engage in one night stands but not enough (atleast not now) to cry during sex.

She has cried during sex I believe twice since we've been dating (a year now) and both times she's told me that I make her feel weird for crying and that she feels alone in the intimacy because I'm not crying too. She also went on to say that I NEVER cry. I'm not an emotional person at all and she knows this but I have shed a tear or two in front of her in the past year.

*1) this was NEVER about being right or wrong we were casually talking about what sex means to each of us. *2) I didn't pull out facts to support my argument I did so to play devils advocate *3) I myself don't find it absurd that someone would ever cry during sex, nor do I think my gf is a weirdo for doing so *4) her main point: people should view sex as very important and shouldn't engage in casual sex my point: I agree but most people just don't have that traditional mindset about sex among a lot of things nowadays

tl;dr: my girlfriend feels that I should feel more emotion when having sex. how important is sex to you? have you ever cried during sex? how did your partner react when you did?

thanks for the replies and insight!

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:23

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

My [25M] girlfriend of a year [23F] thinks I don't love her as much because I haven't cried during sex

Wait is crying during sex more common than I thought it was?

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:29

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Chaosfirev posted:

Wait is crying during sex more common than I thought it was?

Cue Mike Tyson joke.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:32

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

quote:

I even went and looked up the average number of sexual partners in your lifetime (for Americans) and it's around 7

That must be heavily skewed somewhere because that seems really low in the age of casual dating, bar hookups and Tinder.

Yawgmoth posted:

I thought that was literally what boyfriend/girlfriend are for

I've always thought boyfriend/girlfriend was much more casual, you have those in high school, I'm talking more like the relationship has progressed as far as it is going to progress short of a ring.

Three Olives fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Nov 28, 2017

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:33

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Three Olives posted:

That must be heavily skewed somewhere because that seems really low in the age of casual dating, bar hookups and Tinder.

It's an average not a mean. So there is a small legion of 0's and 1's dragging down the 20+ crowd, which is probably a lot fewer than pop culture would have you believe anyway.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:36

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

Chaosfirev posted:

Wait is crying during sex more common than I thought it was?

i've only had one girl cry during sex and that was my first gf, she had some major issues, 16yo me was not prepared for that poo poo.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:41

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 03:46

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Chomp8645 posted:

which is probably a lot fewer than pop culture would have you believe anyway.

I don't that is true, someone that is out on the market shouldn't have much trouble getting laid at least once a month.

# ? Nov 28, 2017 18:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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