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Three Olives posted:I don't that is true, someone that is out on the market shouldn't have much trouble getting laid at least once a month. Please check your gay privilege. Also this assumes that most people are putting some amount of effort into trying to get laid every month (outside of a regular relationship), which I'm also slightly skeptical of.
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Nov 28, 2017 18:48
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not all of america is coastal cities three olives, where apparently sucking and loving is how you say hello
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Nov 28, 2017 18:49
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MF_James posted:i've only had one girl cry during sex and that was my first gf, she had some major issues, 16yo me was not prepared for that poo poo. Was it because of the mace?
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Nov 28, 2017 18:50
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Three Olives posted:I don't that is true, someone that is out on the market shouldn't have much trouble getting laid at least once a month. if you're just looking to gently caress as many strangers as possible, sure that number goes down if you're being selective about who you gently caress, as well as if you're hunting for a relationship instead of casual sex many folks are looking for a relationship because once one is established, you can greatly increase the amount of sex you have while minimizing the risks
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Nov 28, 2017 18:56
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Three Olives posted:That must be heavily skewed somewhere because that seems really low in the age of casual dating, bar hookups and Tinder. It is skewed, the median number will likely be several partners lower
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Nov 28, 2017 18:57
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Brother Entropy posted:not all of america is coastal cities three olives, where apparently sucking and loving is how you say hello There's a "Three Olives sucks" joke in here somewhere
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Nov 28, 2017 18:57
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not everyone can be as big of a slut as 3O
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Nov 28, 2017 18:59
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Three Olives posted:I've always thought boyfriend/girlfriend was much more casual, you have those in high school, I'm talking more like the relationship has progressed as far as it is going to progress short of a ring.
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Nov 28, 2017 19:08
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Yawgmoth posted:Shockingly, there's no real need for 1500 loving labels to describe the exact number and quality of activities you and your SO do together. The guy you're loving to the exclusion of all others is your boyfriend, regardless of how close getting married might be. There doesn't need to be separate labels for "he makes breakfast if he spends the night", "well we don't live together but he stays over a lot and almost loads the dishwasher right", "we talked about getting a puppy if we moved in together", etc. I know a couple that has been together for over 20 years, they just got married a few months ago. Granted marriage equality is more recent but they were not in a hurry to get the license because they had already sorted most stuff out legally, owned a house together, etc, etc. Surely you wouldn't say their relationship was just boyfriends before they signed the marriage paperwork?
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Nov 28, 2017 19:16
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Three Olives posted:I know a couple that has been together for over 20 years, they just got married a few months ago. Granted marriage equality is more recent but they were not in a hurry to get the license because they had already sorted most stuff out legally, owned a house together, etc, etc. Hello everyone, this is Darrell. He's my Buttbuddy, but for tax purposes we file jointly as Very Bestest Buttbuddies.
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Nov 28, 2017 19:22
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Three Olives posted:Surely you wouldn't say their relationship was just boyfriends before they signed the marriage paperwork?
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Nov 28, 2017 19:30
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Bertrand Hustle posted:My grandparents were married 66 years, until my grandfather passed in June. They were one of those adorable old couples you see that still held hands in public. I was grumpy one time because I had to work a waitress shift on the 4th of July so I was going to be running late to a party. An old couple (and their equally old children) got a table, and when I was taking their drink orders, the woman took all these old black and white 40s pics from her purse and was going through them. She showed them to me and said proudly, 'Can you believe we've been married 63 years?' She let me look through them, and they'd gotten married July 4th 1943 before he had to ship off to WW2. I thought it was the sweetest goddamn thing that they were still together after that long (and still loved each other). Until the day I quit that job, my boss hassled me and the cook for 'plotting against him' because we gave them a free appetizer.
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Nov 28, 2017 19:33
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Just  at that girl whining about exactly how much her boyfriend cares about sex. That level of controlling is a huge red flag and he should GTFO
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Nov 28, 2017 19:42
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Yawgmoth posted:Shockingly, there's no real need for 1500 loving labels to describe the exact number and quality of activities you and your SO do together. A shock was felt, as if every single tumblrina was simultaneously offended and gasped out
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Nov 28, 2017 19:42
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Bertrand Hustle posted:My grandparents were married 66 years, until my grandfather passed in June. They were one of those adorable old couples you see that still held hands in public. My grandparents were married for 66 years as well, from 1946-2012. My grandmother passed away around Thanksgiving that year. We went through her things and found dozens of love letters that they'd written to each other while he was in the Merchant Marines and scrapbooks from the 40s that they'd saved. We were really afraid that my grandfather would pass soon after that, due to the grief. He's still kicking at 91 and I visit him every week. He's the nicest old man you can imagine 
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Nov 28, 2017 19:45
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ikanreed posted:Just I mean sexual compatibility is kind of a big loving deal but if she thinks every time they have sex it needs to be a deep emotional experience and not two horny people banging it out quick before bed on occasion she needs to get help.
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Nov 28, 2017 19:51
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My long time partner (I am male, she is a queer female POC) has PTSD from being sexually assaulted two years ago. She can't currently afford counselling, has had very limited counselling in the past, and is and has been dealing with it day-to-day. Compounding this is a long distance relationship for about a year, beginning about six months ago. From time to time, she is triggered by control issues that are based on assumptions she makes about things I say or do that she interprets as controlling her, and when that happens, she projects and gets really angry at me. She gets increasingly cruel and vicious. It takes me a long time to recognize this as it is a slow build, because she seems irritable or incommunicative, and then suddenly she is fully dissociative and furious. She generally snaps out of this after some time and then it's okay and we can talk. It ends well, but I would like to eliminate this problem. She also had an ex-boyfriend from years ago prior to the assault who gaslit her and threatened to kill himself when she tried to break up with him, and was generally very controlling. I think that what she is experiencing is a form of dissociation, as 99% of the time we are very loving and nurturing, we are best friends, and this issue never happened before the assault. Now it keeps happening randomly, and I am at a loss as to how to problem solve it. I have tried bringing it up when she gets angry about control issues, gently, for example I have left the room, but now that it is long distance, it's over the phone or via text and it's made it a lot more difficult. After the fact, she gets it, but it keeps happening. We've been together for almost five years now, and these episodes happen unpredictably, but on average about once a month since her assault. I'd appreciate any advice or resources for her. I have my own mental health issues that I have undertaken therapy for, and those issues also make it more difficult for me to be rational when she isn't being herself and compound the problem. Severing is the easy route. I don't want to sever because it's not her fault. She is fully aware that she has PTSD and has had some counseling, but right now she cannot afford therapy. She wants to get better, however in the thick of her episodes, it's awful and she can't be reached. She's a completely different person and I am totally helpless. Trying to reason with her during an episode is impossible. Leaving the situation is the only solution that works so far. I'd be very open to other suggestions. I absolutely am not going to leave her over this. I am very certain there is something else we can do. She wants to pursue EMDR therapy when we can afford it. I just need some alternative to hanging up or messaging that I need to leave the conversation and bawling myself to sleep, or in person, leaving the room or apartment for an hour (that doesn't work every time - I've returned to her fuming and just as vicious as when I left). Last night she had an medium-grade episode and today she's both cognisant and validating the triggers (tired, mired in deadlines, misread my intent), but I am emotionally drained and I don't feel like talking to her. One of the problems is that she says awful things when she is dissociative and then when she has come out of it, she is apologetic and assures me that she was projecting. I understand how PTSD and dissociation works, but it still really hurts, and at the same time, I don't want her to feel guilty and apologetic. Yet here I am, feeling like garbage because of the things she said last night - that I know come from a place of horrific trauma. She is absolutely a good person, the light of my life, and I love her immensely, and she has always been there for me. I also have mental health issues. I have BPD and was lucky enough to have had lengthy DBT for it. I function fairly well, but I am fairly certain that my big emotions are part of the cycle of dissociation. I think I over-react to her when she is initially triggered/lashing out and that enables her depersonalization? I don't know. This just occurred to me. I never realize she's in an episode until way too late. Thanks for the responses.
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Nov 28, 2017 19:59
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Chomp8645 posted:My long time partner (I am male, she is a queer female POC) has PTSD from being sexually assaulted two years ago. She can't currently afford counselling, has had very limited counselling in the past, and is and has been dealing with it day-to-day. Compounding this is a long distance relationship for about a year, beginning about six months ago. My partner is damaged goods and it makes her act like a bitch. She knows this, but is not doing anything about it. I am also damaged goods, but I am doing something about it. Leaving this person that treats me like crap and makes my mental illness worse is not an option.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:04
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Is there a charity I can donate to that just focuses on breaking people up? Feel like this is underserved and at risk population.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:07
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Barudak posted:Is there a charity I can donate to that just focuses on breaking people up? Feel like this is underserved and at risk population. Nope, you just gotta get out there and gently caress them yourself. Boners Without Borders.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:13
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Dating is like employment law. If someone has a documented disability, you can't break up with them for that reason, and have to make reasonable accommodations. Except that by reasonable accommodation, we mean do whatever they say, and by documented disability, we mea whatever tumbler is upset about this week. If you break up with them for an illegal reason, you will owe them a reinstatement of the relationship and payment of all gifts and sex backdated to the date of their self-diagnosis.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:17
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blarzgh posted:Boners Without Borders. That's the name of my new interracial porn site.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:18
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therobit posted:Dating is like employment law. If someone has a documented disability, you can't break up with them for that reason, and have to make reasonable accommodations. Except that by reasonable accommodation, we mean do whatever they say, and by documented disability, we mea whatever tumbler is upset about this week. If you break up with them for an illegal reason, you will owe them a reinstatement of the relationship and payment of all gifts and sex backdated to the date of their self-diagnosis. Compassion is a strong emotion, but recent advances in social awareness have had the unintended consequence of helping people develop a formulaic approach for taking advantage of it.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:22
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Ma’am, Im from the Organization for Negotiated, Brokered Relationship Easements, Annulments, and Karyokinesis
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Nov 28, 2017 20:27
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blarzgh posted:Compassion is a strong emotion, but recent advances in social awareness have had the unintended consequence of helping people develop a formulaic approach for taking advantage of it. Dude why you gotta be so reasonable?
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Nov 28, 2017 20:36
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How to blow up a marriage without cheating: Me [28/F] with my husband [31M] 11 years, I got drunk and talked badly of my husband quote:u/sorrywife28
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Nov 28, 2017 20:54
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Milotic posted:How to blow up a marriage without cheating: Im dissapointed the husband didnt pull out his dong to prove its size, then point her to the door.
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Nov 28, 2017 20:56
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Hmm it's shocking that people who got married at 17 and 20 are destined to make poor decisions.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:01
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Barudak posted:Im dissapointed the husband didnt pull out his dong to prove its size, then point her to the door.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:01
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Barudak posted:Im dissapointed the husband didnt pull out his dong to prove its size, then point her to the door. Point with his dong, of course.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:02
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Milotic posted:How to blow up a marriage without cheating: You can't, you have permanently owned yourself and your marriage is done
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Nov 28, 2017 21:02
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This woman's contempt for people that actually have to work, like her boyfriend, just oozes out of every sentence. Also it's clear she doesn't understand typical human concerns like empathy, or business concepts like not buring bridges with a client.quote:I [20F], am very well-off. My BF [21] is average+ income. There has been a financial "situation" and I wonder if I've done the right thing.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:12
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If you're maxing out credit cards over your bills and it hasn't even been a month, you are definitely not rich lmao
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Nov 28, 2017 21:22
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therobit posted:Dude why you gotta be so reasonable? Oh, woops. Better go find a relationship to open up.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:25
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Demon Of The Fall posted:If you're maxing out credit cards over your bills and it hasn't even been a month, you are definitely not rich lmao Her daddy's trust fund probably pays her a fixed amount each month, knowing that she'd quickly blow through it all if she had access to the entire amount.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:27
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Demon Of The Fall posted:If you're maxing out credit cards over your bills and it hasn't even been a month, you are definitely not rich lmao She said she will have it paid back in a week or two, I'm guessing most of her money is invested (retirement or otherwise) so she just put all the bills on the credit card since she didn't have enough cash to cover it all at that moment. This isn't that uncommon, I shove all my bills on my credit card so I can just have one monthly bill instead of several bills staggered over the course of a month.
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Nov 28, 2017 21:30
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this is why having a lot of money ruins you as a person, it cripples your ability to form relationships with others because the money always injects that little element of distrust and resentment into all your social interactions (notch)
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Nov 28, 2017 21:30
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quote:However, he spent all his severance pay in a week and a half. To be fair I don't know this is so much a "ugh, what a poor" thing and more jesus christ this guy is trainwreck financially that just does not have his poo poo together and I'm afraid he is going to be expecting me to support him. Like there is a difference between not making as much money as your boyfriend and your boyfriend being such a fuckup financially that it strains the relationship
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Nov 28, 2017 21:35
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The lady in the story is 20, odds are the credit cards have low limits because her credit history started at 18 or whatever Depending on the country it could easily be $500 or $1000 and seems to jibe with how quickly they can / will be paid off It's not super helpful when people complain about a card being "maxed out" without specifying whether its $500 or $50,000
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Nov 28, 2017 21:36
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Three Olives posted:To be fair I don't know this is so much a "ugh, what a poor" thing and more jesus christ this guy is trainwreck financially that just does not have his poo poo together and I'm afraid he is going to be expecting me to support him. speaking of goofy people being judgemental... for all you know the dude has savings. quit being such a weirdo elitist "ugh, this guy does not have his financial poo poo together. now let me tell you about how normal it is to gently caress hundreds of strangers"
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Nov 28, 2017 21:37
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