/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Admiral Ray posted:

My mom [55F] invited my[21M] girlfriend [21F] over for holiday dinners this year...then un-invited her after the first one without any reason, other than it's uncomfortable having non-family there? Relationships (self.relationships)

A family of Goons.

Sounds like the sisters were unhappy about the situation and put pressure on the mom. i'd just suggest he spend christmas with his gf this year and I'm sure if they're still dating next time around the mom won't make the same mistake again.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:32

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:17

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Inescapable Duck posted:

Do it. Dooo iiit.

Too late.

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

childfree horror ahead, for real though

I [29M] was told that my wife [33F] physically hurt my niece [4F] at a family gathering. Head is spinning, what to do?

this crazy gently caress planned this all out, she put herself in the basement by the kids, and specifically hurt the niece somewhere it wouldn't show. Jesus loving Christ.

Are they really childfree if children are all they obsess about?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:33

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

childfree horror ahead, for real though

I [29M] was told that my wife [33F] physically hurt my niece [4F] at a family gathering. Head is spinning, what to do?

this crazy gently caress planned this all out, she put herself in the basement by the kids, and specifically hurt the niece somewhere it wouldn't show. Jesus loving Christ.

Normally I say divorce, but in this case I think he should stay married to her and just beat her regularly.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:37

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

therobit posted:

Normally I say divorce, but in this case I think he should stay married to her and just beat her regularly.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:39

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I feel an urge to mipmap this thread.

I only know what that is with respect to rasterization

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:39

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Haifisch posted:

I (25f) just hooked up with my husband's (30m) ex's (30f) husband (29m)...

Lol at picking up a broken dude right after he got cheated on and suggesting a non-monogamous relationship, then sleeping with the dude he was cheated on with.

like drat girl

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:40

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Are they really childfree if children are all they obsess about?

Incels and redpillers obsess about sex all the time, but they're still sexfree. :v:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:43

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Jesus Christ, divorce is too good for a child abuser

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:43

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Haifisch posted:

I (25f) just hooked up with my husband's (30m) ex's (30f) husband (29m)...

This is hilarious.

Have your husband break the news to his ex that her husband cheated on her with you, and then he slaps your rear end.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:48

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

childfree horror ahead, for real though

I [29M] was told that my wife [33F] physically hurt my niece [4F] at a family gathering. Head is spinning, what to do?

this crazy gently caress planned this all out, she put herself in the basement by the kids, and specifically hurt the niece somewhere it wouldn't show. Jesus loving Christ.

This is not hilarious!

Hey dumbfuck, your wife is total garbage and needs to be left out in a blizzard. You are purposely lying to yourself to protect a child abuser.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:52

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Admiral Ray posted:

This is hilarious.

Have your husband break the news to his ex that her husband cheated on her with you, and then he slaps your rear end.

100% the best idea but I guarantee the guy isn't going to have the ego to do this because in his mind this guy "seduced" both his ex-wife and his wife and is thus some ultra-dominant emasculating figure instead of a garden-variety philanderer

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:55

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

mind the walrus posted:

100% the best idea but I guarantee the guy isn't going to have the ego to do this because in his mind this guy "seduced" both his ex-wife and his wife and is thus some ultra-dominant emasculating figure instead of a garden-variety philanderer

Yeah what's he gonna do, be all "hey man, every woman I've ever loved has slept with you while seeing me, lol owned".

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:58

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

ArbitraryC posted:

Yeah what's he gonna do, be all "hey man, every woman I've ever loved has slept with you while seeing me, lol owned".

No, he the ex's husband doesn't matter here, but the ex does because she thinks she's in a faithful relationship. That's who he'll get back at by tell her that his wife slept with her husband, but he doesn't give a gently caress because it's an open relationship.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 05:59

21st Cherry boy: Jan 28, 2004; i'm a girl, fucktard

I don't know who to believe, the kids who all say the same plausible story or my wife who didn't even bother denying it or coming up with a believable lie :thunk:

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:01

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Admiral Ray posted:

No, he the ex's husband doesn't matter here, but the ex does because she thinks she's in a faithful relationship. That's who he'll get back at by tell her that his wife slept with her husband, but he doesn't give a gently caress because it's an open relationship.

And devalues the ex's husband into being a generic man-slut.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:03

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Admiral Ray posted:

No, he the ex's husband doesn't matter here, but the ex does because she thinks she's in a faithful relationship. That's who he'll get back at by tell her that his wife slept with her husband, but he doesn't give a gently caress because it's an open relationship.

I feel like you probably don't understand human emotions if you feel he'll see it that way. At best he'll rationalize the whole thing away with 'well it's not like she did anything against the rules" and move on with that mindset, at worst it's forever gonna nag at him. Either way he's never gonna see it as a victory over his ex.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:04

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Like he's not gonna be retelling this story ten years from now

"And after she cheated on me it turns out he cheated on her too!"

"with who"

"My wife!!!!"

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:05

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

ArbitraryC posted:

Like he's not gonna be retelling this story ten years from now

"And after she cheated on me it turns out he cheated on her too!"

"with who"

"My wife!!!!"

"Hey George, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp"

"OH YEAH? Well YOU had sex with MY WIFE!"

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:09

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

ArbitraryC posted:

I feel like you probably don't understand human emotions if you feel he'll see it that way. At best he'll rationalize the whole thing away with 'well it's not like she did anything against the rules" and move on with that mindset, at worst it's forever gonna nag at him. Either way he's never gonna see it as a victory over his ex.

I don't feel he'll see it that way, but it would be way funnier.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 06:10

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Everyone in that story is dumb as hell and the person who posted it is almost definitely gonna get dumped, which is good. I'm glad it happened.

The child abuse story is just sad. Leave your wife.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 07:49

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Ask yourself this: what if he's only agreed to be in an open relationship because the trauma of being cheated on in the first place broke his ability to trust? And now Big Dick Rob is back to take away the only kind of relationship he thought he had left?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 07:49

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Yeah we don't know all the details, but from what's been posted it's really hard to not feel for that guy.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 07:52

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

blarzgh posted:

Ask yourself this: what if he's only agreed to be in an open relationship because the trauma of being cheated on in the first place broke his ability to trust? And now Big Dick Rob is back to take away the only kind of relationship he thought he had left?

Chad strikes again

# ? Nov 30, 2017 08:02

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

childfree horror ahead, for real though

I [29M] was told that my wife [33F] physically hurt my niece [4F] at a family gathering. Head is spinning, what to do?

this crazy gently caress planned this all out, she put herself in the basement by the kids, and specifically hurt the niece somewhere it wouldn't show. Jesus loving Christ.

yeah childfree people are loving nuts

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Are they really childfree if children are all they obsess about?

obsessing about how annoying children are (and how much you hate them / are jealous of them) is the definition of being childfree so yeah

like, choosing not to have kids is one thing, but vocalizing how much you despise crotchspawn is a different level of social dysfunction

# ? Nov 30, 2017 08:22

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

blarzgh posted:

Ask yourself this: what if he's only agreed to be in an open relationship because the trauma of being cheated on in the first place broke his ability to trust? And now Big Dick Rob is back to take away the only kind of relationship he thought he had left?

We can only hope it's this dramatic.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 08:24

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

blarzgh posted:

Ask yourself this: what if he's only agreed to be in an open relationship because the trauma of being cheated on in the first place broke his ability to trust? And now Big Dick Rob is back to take away the only kind of relationship he thought he had left?

To be honest I couldn't shake this impression, dude got out of a very long term relationship that ended in cheating and the person he ended up turning to was hesitant to form a monogamous relationship with him. From his perspective his options probably felt like "try and get cheated on again" or "just accept this is how things work".

There were several comments to that effect in the reddit thread, OP assures it's not like that and they both have comparable casual encounters but like drat if it doesn't feel like an inherently manipulative situation.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 08:35

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

My friend/crush [30F] rejected me [28M] because I'm asian. I am not handling it well.

quote:

Prefacing: I'm hawaiian/chinese, the girl[30F] is white. I don't speak a lick of either language, I was adopted as a baby by a white couple, was born in africa(hawaii birth certificate), never met my birth parents, and I live in a rural-ish area in the US where less than 2% of the population is asian. I've never been in a relationship before and I've never had sex before. I'm using the throwaway I've been using because I'm embarrassed to admit this stuff to my RL friends who are on reddit.

I honestly thought that this girl would be the one. I thought things were going well, but I guess I didn't have a clue.

For the past few months, I've been hanging out regularly with a female friend of mine after she suggested we get lunch. Since then, we've been hanging out regularly, spending time with each other, doing couple stuff. When our mutual friends saw us together, they would ask if we were a couple, and she would always reply with a coy laugh and say that we were just close friends. We basically do bf/gf stuff together, except we've never kissed or been intimate. The closest we've ever been is cuddling while watching a movie. We usually split tabs but I've paid for more date-y stuff, like dinner.

My problem is that because of my inexperience, I was too scared or nervous to make a move early on. I basically fell in love with this person first and I had no idea what was going on in her head. This afternoon I finally decided to make my intentions known while we were making dinner together. When I told her I really liked her and that I couldn't stand not knowing how she felt anymore she basically just stood there, stunned. I can't even comprehend how she didn't know or understand that I liked her.

Then she smiled and told me that she liked me a lot too, that I was her best friend, but that she couldn't see herself with me because I was asian. I was holding a plate at the moment and I had to use all my strength to keep myself from dropping it. I didn't know how to reply and she went on a long rant/explanation trying to justify herself that I couldn't really process, but that she still valued me as a friend and wanted to remain friends. I tried to hold it together, put a smile on, tell her it was okay and keep making dinner but midway through I couldn't take it anymore and I just left.

Since around 10pm when I got home, she's sent me 3 letter-texts that basically explaining how shes sorry, but she's looking for something permanent and that she wants to start a family, and how frankly, she can't be with me because she could never see herself having kids with me because of my race. And because she valued me so much, she would never lead me on in a relationship that she would definitely end or wouldn't be able to continue because of that. She told me I was a great person and a great friend, that I shouldn't feel bad, because it wasn't me, it was that she just isn't attracted to asian men.

I've never been successful in starting any relationship. My friends, my stepparents, my stepbrother, teachers, employers all value me and tell me how great I am all the time. I'm in good shape and I'm pretty tall too. But no girl has never told me that, except this girl. I had high school dance dates and prom dates, but nothing ever came out of that. Besides this girl, another girl told me she liked me a lot and we had a brief flirtation before she told me she was going back to her ex.

And right now from where I'm sitting on the bathroom floor I'm coming to the conclusion that it's not my face, how much money I make, my stupid dad jokes, my politics, or whatever, it's because I'm asian that almost everyone I've ever liked has rejected me. I've been alternating between breaking down and then telling myself that it's okay and that it's an isolated incident, that we're still friends, and that maybe she stupidly thought this would be better than telling me that I was ugly. For about half an hour I was convinced that it was my fault because I should have pursued people who were my own race regardless of who I was attracted to and that I should have expected stuff like this to happen. I told myself that was okay. But I'm not ok. Part of me just wants to cry now and another part of me wants to lie down on some train tracks and die because I know that she'll know she's the reason why I did it.

Growing up as the only asian kid in every single one of my classes until I got to college, I got my share of "ching chong" jokes. But for the first time I feel like I'm actually different from everyone. I've never felt out of place but now I do. I don't know how I bounce back from this. I really don't. This is really the straw that broke my back.

I don't know what to say to her in response - she's been calling to make sure that I'm okay and that I should call her if I need to talk. She actually cares but I just can't process how badly this hurts. Am I right to feel like this? Or should I have expected this to happen? I don't know if I can stay friends with her after something like this even though we genuinely are friends and were friends before I was ever attracted her.

tl;dr: My friend rejected me because I'm asian and I'm having a breakdown. I don't know if I should stay friends with her or how I should proceed with her at all. I also don't know what to tell my friends who thought we were in a relationship.

Rejection is one thing but jeeez.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:20

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

This one's good:

My [21M] girlfriend [21F] of 2 years is obsessed with a random person on the internet

quote:

The guy in question translates manga and has some fame on an anonymous imageboard. When we first started going out we bonded on a few common interests. One of which was manga. We would recommend things to each other and if we had read the same series, we'd discuss but nothing beyond that.

About six months ago she called me, hysterically crying, saying that her hard drive wasn't working, that she was stupid and should've kept backups, and that she didn't know what to do. She wasn't just crying either, it was like full-blown sobs, an actual panic attack. I couldn't really understand what she was trying to say. I asked her if she wanted me to come over to help, but she just hung up on me. Worried, I drove over and found her hyperventilating on the floor, holding her hard drive. I looked up what to do with it and the internet suggested we put it in the freezer and lo and behold, it worked.

Now, I had no idea what was stored on there that was so important that it caused her to have that kind of reaction. I asked her, and she told me that I wasn't allowed to find out, and that I'd think she was weird. I told her I didn't care and I wanted to know, because I was REALLY curious now. She eventually showed me, and it seemed harmless at first, but it got really loving weird.

an archive of everything this guy had translated

screenshots of all his posts divided by key topics

screenshots of all his posts by date chronologically

a folder of every single reaction image and meme he's ever used

every single original photo or screencap he's posted

a folder dedicated to every thread they have both posted in

a schedule of when he comes online, and the times he's posted

a txt file detailing everything she knows about him, that was several pages long
Since then, she brings him up ALL OF THE TIME. We'll be watching something, and she'll somehow relate this back to him.

She doesn't know what he looks like and she's never even actually talked to him directly either on or off the site, but she acts like they're soul mates. She told me that she doesn't care what he looks like, because everything else about him is perfect. She said he could be 400 lbs and covered in hair with rotten teeth and B.O., and "the world would still be unworthy of him."

I'm pretty fed up with this because it's extremely disrespectful to me for her to be talking about another guy like this. I explained my feelings, and she told me not to worry because she doesn't actually have romantic feelings for him, and that to her he's beyond human, so she could never deserve him anyway. She tried to make me feel better by saying she'd never try to talk to him, in case it "corrupted" him.

His birthday was earlier this month, and she baked cookies for him (or at least in his honor). I'm 90% sure she put her blood into the cookies since there was a huge cut in her upper arm. When I asked her about it, she pretended to be surprised and told me "how spooky". I don't want to break up with her since she's perfectly normal in every other aspect, but this obsession is creepy and bordering crazy. Is this something I need to get over or is there anything I can do to get her to stop?

tl;dr: gf obsessed with stranger on the internet, want her to stop

To my obsessive fans: please store my posts in the cloud so they don't die with some weak hard drive, thanks.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:38

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

Palpek posted:

My friend/crush [30F] rejected me [28M] because I'm asian. I am not handling it well.

Rejection is one thing but jeeez.

So, is this a thing in the US? I know there's at least three different subreddits devoted to the notion that Asian guys have it bad, but all the Chinese and Viet dudes I know here in good old Europe are very popular with the ladies.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 10:51

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

My sister [21F] wants all our dads [51M, 50M, 48M, 46M] to walk her down the aisle. I [20F] said it was stupid and got kicked out

quote:

u/xo-o-xo
Long story short, we were give up for adoption by one set of parents and adopted by another. Our birth parents split and married other people and so did our adoptive parents. So we have our bio dad, adoptive dad, stepdad (adoptive mom's husband), and bio mom's husband.

My sister is getting married next year and wants all four of them to walk her down the aisle. I'm her maid of honor, so I gave her my honest opinion. It's stupid and impractical. I mean, she only has two arms. What's the other two dudes going to do? Walk behind them? I suggested that she could maybe have a dance with all of them, but she told me she was going to do that anyway.

Now she kicked me out of the wedding and stopped talking to me. I tried to apologize but she won't listen. What can I do?

tldr: I got kicked out of my sister's wedding because I said having our four dads walk her down the aisle is stupid.

I�m with the bridesmaid on this one.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 11:32

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I've been to my long-lost cousin's wedding that had around seven parents at once. Birth father, birth mother and her second husband (dunno about the first one), adoptive mother and her husband, adoptive father and his wife. I wasn't paying much attention at the time, being a full-time grumpy teenager, but it was weird as hell in retrospect. Seems to have worked out okay though.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:21

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

Future bridezilla spotted?

Me [25F] with my now fiance [25 M] got engaged and I haaaattteee the ring

quote:

u/InASeaOfSwords
My boyfriend, now fiance, surprised me this past Thanksgiving weekend with a wonderful proposal at Big Bend National Park overlooking a freaking mountain range. It was amazing and I was completely surprised! He even hiked in a bottle of Veuve Cliquote so that we could celebrate and it really was magical! I cried a lot. BUT! I. Hate. The. Ring.

Here's the sitch: I have a whole Pinterest page dedicated to engagement rings that he has access to. I told him that I wanted an intricate band, a ring that you can't find at any ol' jewelry store, and that I DID NOT want a diamond with sapphires (reason: that's what my sister has). So now I have a diamond ring with sapphire accents on my finger. The band IS patterned, so props to him there, but it looks so cookie cutter I could become Martha Stewart and the designs look like those little jesus fish you see on the back of cars. Here's another kicker: His mom helped him pick it out AND the diamond is from a set of earrings that she owned.

I would feel like I would be telling both him AND MY SOON TO BE MOTHER-IN-LAW that I don't like the ring they picked out. I also don't know anything behind how much it cost or how the exchange policy will work.

What do I do? Tell him I don't like it? He was so proud that he found a designed band (and diamond/sapphire "just like I wanted" face palm). Please please please help.

tl;dr: I hate my engagement ring but I don't want to tell.

Edit: I need to cherish what the engagement means, on not what the ring looks like. I was being a brat and not seeing the bigger picture. While I don't love the ring, I do love my fiance. That's all that matters.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:23

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Love to see strong familial bonds such as "disagree with me and I'll kick you out of my wedding and not talk to you".

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:23

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Palpek posted:

My friend/crush [30F] rejected me [28M] because I'm asian. I am not handling it well.

Aww dude she's racist.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:25

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Palpek posted:

My [21M] girlfriend [21F] of 2 years is obsessed with a random person on the internet

It was funny until it got to the blood cookies then it became hysterical.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:26

Sensual Simian: Jun 7, 2004; summer jorts

are there many obviously drug influenced relationship foibles on reddit or ?

# ? Nov 30, 2017 12:28

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

pidan posted:

So, is this a thing in the US? I know there's at least three different subreddits devoted to the notion that Asian guys have it bad, but all the Chinese and Viet dudes I know here in good old Europe are very popular with the ladies.

yeah, i've gotten rejected for being a black woman on a few occasions too, it's fun

# ? Nov 30, 2017 13:33

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Milotic posted:

Future bridezilla spotted?

Me [25F] with my now fiance [25 M] got engaged and I haaaattteee the ring

I can feel for the kind of frustration from people who somehow get you exactly what you told them you DIDN'T want and the 'didn't' part fell out of their memory. And it sounds likes he has a MIL who does care, so small victories.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 13:38

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

YeahTubaMike posted:

yeah, i've gotten rejected for being a black woman on a few occasions too, it's fun

It's weird how these people don't just lie. Like instead of making up something, they're just like "Nah i just think your entire race is gross lol" and don't feel terrified at all about people knowing.

# ? Nov 30, 2017 14:05

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# ? May 27, 2024 07:17

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Palpek posted:

My friend/crush [30F] rejected me [28M] because I'm asian. I am not handling it well.

Rejection is one thing but jeeez.

I wouldn't be surprised if our narrator is a little unreliable, and this woman was like, "(geez I don't want to tell him I'm not interested because he and his personality are poo poo)uuuuhhh, It's because you're Asian."

# ? Nov 30, 2017 14:24

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