tactlessbastard posted:

The schools send the kiddos home with 'art' about two times a week and if you don't have a ruthless art confiscation and destruction program you will drown in it.

La Brea Carpet posted:

I've never seen boss baby, and I doubt this posh British rear end in a top hat has either.

Jeza posted:

Everything in the post suggests they're both American?

quote:

My SO [26M] and I [20F] have been together for 2 years, one of which we’ve spent living together. We get along quite well, and we are good at resolving the few conflicts that we run into. However, I feel uncomfortable about one of his recent requests, and I’m unsure of what to tell him.

Last summer, his mom [62F] moved in with us for a number of reasons, one of which was for her emotional wellbeing—she has chronic depression, is divorced, and had been living alone for the past 4 years. I preferred living alone with him, but I’m okay with living with her too, especially because I know her happiness is very important to SO. We get along just fine, and sharing our apartment makes our living situation so much more affordable.

For Christmas, my SO will be taking a plane to the other side of the country to visit his dad’s side of the family. They offered to fly me out as well, but I preferred to visit home this year as I haven’t lived away from home for very long, and I want to see my family while I have the chance. So I’ll be driving to a bordering state in a few days. SO’s mom doesn’t have any plans, though. I don’t think she can afford a plane ticket to visit her family. Still, SO doesn’t want his mom to feel abandoned by us on Christmas.

This morning, SO asked me if his mom could join me on my trip home for Christmas, and I don’t know what to tell him. I wouldn’t mind bringing both SO and SO’s mom to spend Christmas at my old home—we did that last year, and it was fine. But just SO’s mom? I don’t know why, but it makes me feel uneasy, maybe because she does not feel like family yet. Like I said, we get along just fine, but I wouldn’t say that we’re close.

Part of me really wants to stand my ground and visit home alone. Another part of me feels selfish and immature for wanting my family all to myself, and that I should be welcoming her on my visit home so we can maintain a decent relationship. I also don’t want my SO to have to agonize over it.

How do I handle this, reddit?

TL;DR, SO and I are visiting family in different parts of the country for xmas. SO’s mom, who lives with us, has no plans for xmas and SO wants me to bring her with me on my trip home. I don’t want to, but I feel guilty saying no.

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Wow this one is kinda new wrinkle on the whole MIL staying with you thing, and it's not even from that horrible MIL subreddit either

My SO [26M] wants me [20F] to bring his mom [62F] with me on my trip home for Christmas.

quote:

Last summer, his mom [62F] moved in with us for a number of reasons, one of which was for her emotional wellbeing—she has chronic depression, is divorced, and had been living alone for the past 4 years. I preferred living alone with him, but I’m okay with living with her too, especially because I know her happiness is very important to SO.

I wouldn’t mind bringing both SO and SO’s mom to spend Christmas at my old home—we did that last year, and it was fine. But just SO’s mom?

quote:

Here's a conversation I had yesterday:

Me: (trying to make a pleasant, neutral statement) Wow, it's really raining hard out there!

Hubby: It's not supposed to rain until later this evening.

Me: But it's raining right now. Don't you believe me?

Hubby: (goes to the window and looks out, is puzzled) Hmmm, it's really raining. I guess you were right. YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME! (super sarcastic mocking voice)

Pick posted:

excerpt:

Pick posted:

excerpt:

Scathach posted:

Holy poo poo. Quick, defenestrate that man!

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

how do these sorts of people come to be, and also, who is choosing to spend their lives with them

like I've been broken up with because a woman met my dad and he's bald and they were like "oh no! you might go bald too bye!", how are these trash fire rear end in a top hat dudes getting people to be around them for more than 30 seconds let alone having years long relationships

quote:

I only know that I can't live like this. It is probably killing me. I worry I'll have a heart attack or breakdown. All I can do is stop taking care of her and take care of myself. I'm just amazed at how much of "me" was stripped away over the years. I rarely listen to music because she claims to have synesthesia and early on wouldn't want to listen to anything I enjoyed because it was "the wrong color." I don't read much because I always used to do most of my reading before bed. But she needs the television on to fall asleep, so I don't get to read because she needs to put on the TV for the 15 seconds it takes her to pass out. We don't go out and have a social life because she's always too tired and never puts any effort into making anything happen. She just watches television and scrolls through facebook. TV and facebook. Every. Single. Day. Meanwhile I've given up on her wanting to do anything else.

quote:

We've been happily married for 6 years, we have 2 angelic daughters (5 and 3 years old), and we have in truth a very happy home. My wife is amazing, really a perfect wife and mother. She is a full time mom and wife, she cooks 3 delicious meals every day, she keeps our house running perfectly and she (along with our adorable little girls) makes my life happy and fulfilled.

My point is she's great and we have a truly happy home, but I think I have failed as the father and husband of our household in the last year (around 10 months). My wife isn't comfortable with sex, she has never been, it has always been difficult for her because it reopens the wounds of her childhood trauma. She has been to many therapists, and she still goes to a therapist, and we have tried everything to make it more comfortable for her, but her discomfort with sex, any sexual activity, has been an intractable problem. It's not physical pain/discomfort, but it's a flare-up of her general anxiety disorder.

I knew of this before we were married, she told me that in all honesty she won't want to have sex very often, but I was in love (and we're still just as in love now), and I said that it didn't matter to me, that I loved her and would give up anything for her. And we did have sex (obviously we had 2 kids), but not very often and it has never been something she's comfortable with.

I have always been okay with this, I have had a good deal of sexual frustration but that's the sacrifice I've had to make for the woman I love. And my wife has always expressed affection in other ways. She has sacrificed so much: she carried and gave birth to 2 beautiful daughters for me, she has given up her career outside of the home to raise them full-time and care for our home, she cooks amazing food, and we are physically affectionate even without sex, I could go on and on.

My wife could tell that I've wanted sex much more than she felt comfortable with (for example, I often would unconsciously look at her with desire, and she can easily pick up on the "wanting sex" vibes that I unconsciously put out). One night she suggested the idea that I could be more fulfilled and happy if I had a mistress, a woman I could have sex with rather than her, but that would not replace her as my only love. The idea had a strong, immediate appeal to me. Honestly I got stupidly excited and desperately latched onto the idea. Her stipulations were that it was with only one woman (that I wasn't being promiscuous) she had to be a regular lady (i.e., not a prostitute) with no STDs, and we could only be friends with benefits, not loving in the way I do with her, and she doesn't want to know who the woman is or see her or hear anything about the sex. I told my wife, honestly, that I could never handle her with another man, that this would quite literally destroy me and I would probably lose all will to live so how could she be okay with this, she said that she knows this but that it's different because I'm a man and she's a woman (we later found out this wasn't really as true as she thought and we were making a big mistake).

Eventually I found a girl that I clicked with, a 27 year old girl that one of my friends introduced me to, we hit it off and flirted and got her phone number. We talked and met and hit it off, I explained the situation, and she said that she was fine with it, she was mainly looking for a guy to be monogamous with but not too serious and she understood the marriage situation and she said I seemed like a nice normal guy, etc. We met and had sex once or twice a week usually, sometimes less frequently. Did this for months, but it wasn't what I expected. It just left me with a sense of wrongness, and this seemed to grow with time. Eventually my fwb started saying that I seem guilty and maybe I shouldn't be doing this. She was right and this snapped me out of it (I was hooked on the incredible physical pleasure of having sex with this woman, but slowly dying inside and starting to hate myself). Yes my wife and I both thoroughly, repeatedly consented to this, but it just didn't feel right regardless.

I've been tortured by my conscience and by this feeling I can't describe, but it's like I'm betraying everything good in my life (my wife, my daughters somehow, and even somehow my parents and grandparents who raised me to be a decent man). So I amicably broke this arrangement off with the young woman, who fully understood. I have told my wife that I failed her as her husband, that I'm supposed to lead our family and that I shirked my duty over my personal pleasure. I told her also that I've learned that I need only her and that I was so much happier before I did this, even though I was getting way more sex these last months I've been feeling unhappy and miserable.

She also admitted that she regretted it as well but kept her feeling a secret, when she knew I was gone with this girl she was burning with jealousy and anger at the idea of me with another woman and this was painful in a way she didn't expect. I apologized thoroughly and we seem to be okay now, as far as I can tell (I'm not very good at understanding my wife though, honestly).

Do you think we will be okay now and that we handled this problem well? Does this situation ever work out, a man having a mistress? My wife knows that mistresses were often the norm throughout history and she thought this meant it would be okay, but we both found out it just wasn't, not for us.

tl;dr: My wife is not comfortable with sex, sexual activity of any kind triggers her trauma-related anxiety. I knew this completely when I married her and wasn't bothered by it. She knew I wanted sex and never really get even nearly enough, and suggested the possibility of a friend with benefits. I did this with a woman for months, but the guilt grew and I couldn't live with it and broke it off and I apologized to my wife thoroughly (we plan on renewing our wedding vows even). My wife though that "mistresses" were something normal and we'd be okay, but it was painful for us both and we couldn't do it any longer. Does this work out for anyone? Did we handle this properly and will this likely be just a stupid misstep in a happy marriage and family life?

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Here's a post from a guy that opened up the relationship, had some sex, then decided to double down on the lady that won't have sex with him

My (32 M) wife (30 F) can't comfortably have sex as it triggers her serious anxiety. We consented to the option of a mistress/fwb (she was ok with this and she suggested it initially). My conscience tortured me and I stopped, apologized, and we're renewing our vows. Did I screw up our marriage?


Another open relationship success story, tbh

I feel like this part is the highlight:
"for example, I often would unconsciously look at her with desire, and she can easily pick up on the "wanting sex" vibes that I unconsciously put out). One night she suggested the idea that I could be more fulfilled and happy if I had a mistress, a woman I could have sex with rather than her"

His wife was telling him to gently caress off with the sex pleading and go gently caress someone else lmao everything about this post owns

Why did he marry the asexual wife

quote:

I'm not very good at understanding my wife though, honestly

Anne Whateley posted:

datajugend posted:

how do you send out unconscious sex vibes? does his eares vibrate when he gets horny? horny odor?

Ham Sandwiches posted:

My (32 M) wife (30 F) can't comfortably have sex as it triggers her serious anxiety. We consented to the option of a mistress/fwb (she was ok with this and she suggested it initially). My conscience tortured me and I stopped, apologized, and we're renewing our vows. Did I screw up our marriage?

girl pants posted:

It's extremely not cool to talk about other people's bodies in ways they're uncomfortable with.

I searched for "age gap" to find some goodies for you guys but all the results are just... really predictable and depressing. So here's some holiday fun instead:

My husband (39 M) is weirdly anal about our Christmas tree and it's starting to piss me (35 F) off

quote:

First off, I want to say thanks to the advice everyone had given. There were a few thoughts that resonated that I appreciate. Secondly, get your popcorn. Disgunbgood.jpg.gif I know we all like a good story, and this is somewhat therapeutic for me. This all happened a few days ago and it took me a bit to digest everything.

Quite a bit of advice was around direct confrontation and asking her what the heck was going on. After numerous ignored phone calls and text messages she finally decided to pick up her phone. She apologized and said her phone died and she didn't realize it until it was too late. I started in right away with that she had previously sent me a message non nonchalantly that she just 'wasn't feeling it' between us. After that message, we talked and she said she was just feeling stressed and was taking it out on me. Understandable...stress happens. So my next question was this: "Your friend had told me that you were seeing someone else. Whats going on? Do you want to break up??"

Her answer? "What??? WHO SAID THAT??? oh my god.... who said that?? Oh my gosh, Im sooooo tired of all these rumors about me! Who said that?!" She went on like this for quite a while. What struck me was that she was more concerned about someone ratting her out than the accusations. She assured me over and over that no she did not want to break up and then started making me feel awful that I would make these statements towards her. Didn't I know how she felt about me? That i was saying this made her feel like I didn't trust her. I suddenly felt like the worst person in the world. She also pleaded with me to give up who it was that said this, but I wasn't budging on that. In the end, she said she was having an emotional, stressful day and just wanted to relax and we would talk later, maybe over the weekend. After taken in the advice from here... I felt like she was misdirecting.

I sat there in a mix of feeling like something was amiss, and feeling awful that i just accused my beautiful girlfriend of cheating on me. I felt terrible. I sat for a bit, feeling like I just put this huge crack in our relationship. I love her to pieces. I needed to go apologize.

I hopped in my car and drove the hour to her city and decided to get her a quart of her favorite chocolate ice cream on my way there. When I stopped into the shop to pick up this treat, I run right smack into her daughter hanging out with her boyfriend. They are both in college, doing night classes and just got out of school and wanted a treat. We were chit chatting and she was going to be staying at her bf for the night, but forgot one of her workbooks and needed to stop at the house real quick to pick it up.

After chatting, the daughters bf took off and we both drove up to my GF house. I pulled into the street because they have assigned parking at her unit. Her daughter actually pulled up behind me instead of her own spot and when we got out I said, "whats up, neighbor took your spot again?" as we walked up to the door.

"No.... thats not my neighbors car..."

I don't know if it was the way she said it or her sigh afterwards or what but suddenly it felt like my heart just sank. I KNEW what we were going to find, but I was hoping for anything but that.

Her daughter and I both shuffled through the door and stopped immediately in the entryway. We could just hear them. There's no mistaking it. You know the sound: rhythmic thumping and moaning with little exclamations of pleasure. The bedroom was right across from us.

Her daughter looked at me with her eyes as big as saucers and just goes 'oh my god....im sooooooo sorry'. At this moment it felt like i was living outside my body. Its hard to explain but suddenly it was like i was just a person watching actions happen. I couldn't really feel anything and I didn't know what to do. Here i am...standing here...with a quart of ice cream while my GF is getting railed in her bedroom. I had no idea how to proceed. My whole body just felt like i couldn't control it.

Her daughter suddenly just screams 'MOM! WHAT THE gently caress!' that sounded like a cross between a banshee wail and an firetruck siren.

My GF actually ran out of the bedroom, naked and all, possibly thinking there was some emergency. Maybe motherly instincts that something bad just happened. I don't know. She started to formulate words but fell silent as soon as she saw the too of us standing there.

Eventually a stream of words fell out of her mouth: "oh my god. What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here. what are you doing here?" She kept repeating it over and over until she ran back into the bedroom.

I still stood there. shocked. Still having an out of body experience. I don't know how much time passed. seconds or hours. It blurs. She came out clothed in her pajamas and was talking to whoever it was on the other side of the bedroom door. My GF (EX now) started yelling at her daughter and I about why we were in the house. I think the realization of everything was suddenly starting to hit her because she started crying and making unintelligible noises. Her daughter starts to scream at her about 'how could you do this??' and 'you did it AGAIN?'

At this point...I had seen enough. I couldn't even look at her anymore. Everything was numb and my ears felt like they were ringing. My body still wasn't my own. I walked over to her kitchen table and put down the ice cream saying, 'I know you get hungry after sex....so heres some ice cream.' and walked out the door. She started sobbing 'Nooo' but it I just kept walking and drove home. That was a few days ago.

I didn't go to work the next day.

My phone has been BLOWN up. I have not replied. For your reading pleasure here are some of my favorite messages:

"If we had spent more time together it wouldn't have happened."

"It doesn't mean anything. You know that I love you"

"If you cared anything about us or our relationship you would talk to me."

"Are you ignoring me?"

"Please" I have lots of 'please's.

"if you cared, we would be able to work this out"

It goes on and on.

Right now I still feel kinda numb. I just don't understand how or why this happened. I gave this girl and her family so much and my all and it didn't even matter. I provided for them when times were tough and did so much to make our lives good. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel like I don't mean anything or that I can't make someone happy now. It's frustrating. I know Ill get over it in time but it definitely hurts. I don't understand why or how this could happen. We were soooo good too. So many questions I want to ask her, but Im forcing myself to NOT have contact with her and just going to move on.

In retrospect I wish I kept the ice cream.

tl;dr: GF caught having sex. She got rewarded with Ice cream.

quote:

Don't sweat it about the ice cream. Now every time she goes to get her favorite flavor she will have to think about getting caught cheating...no better way to ruin something than a little PTSD.

quote:

This sounds fake, which I can totally see how it could be, but that's why I am posting with my real account so y'all know it's serious.

So in September I was walking through a department store to get to my car parked in the lot outside it. When I got in my car two loss prevention officers bolted in front of it. One held my door open and one called 911. I was so confused and they told me the jacket I was wearing was stolen from their store.

I tried to tell them it wasn't, and they said they had it on camera (??) When I asked to see footage, if it meant I wasn't going to be detained or arrested, they refused. They told me they would tell the cops I tried to assault them with my vehicle so I turned it off and went inside with them, figuring I could explain it to the cops.

They took my phone and keys and made me wait three hours. The cops came and checked their database for me; I have never even had a speeding ticket, never mind shoplifting.

They said all they have is the word of the LP officer against mine, and the logo of the store was branded on my jacket, so they confiscated my jacket, issued charges against me, but let me go without arresting me (I was "arrested" but not arrested.)

I ended up escalating this through the court system with banking statements and receipts; I had a loyalty card at the store which thankfully (!) had all my past transactions on it.

They withdrew the charges. The judge urged me to complain formally about the bad stop so I did to corporate.

Well, now I have a letter in the mail from their lawyers stating that I owe them $500. First off - the jacket was like, $30. They also want an extra $100 for court fees - but they never appeared in court, and I had to address it all myself, self-represented. The lawyer said they'll sue if I don't pay.

Can I just... send back the paper that said the charges were withdrawn? I was "charged" but it was a wrongful charge, the charge didn't even stick, and I even had to complain about the bad stop. It's doubtful there's even footage of me, because I WALKED THROUGH THE MALL WITH THE COAT ON!

I'm really upset. I work as a school speech therapist so having a clean background is really important. I just want this to go away, which is why I didn't even file for wrongful arrest. The whole situation has been really traumatizing.

quote:

I really appreciate everyone's advice (and the discussion!) from the previous post. I had a discussion with my partner and we went to an attorney to handle the detainment situation.

However, a few weeks later the law firm (not the one I hired, but the one the store hired) contacted my place of employment. I am a government health care employee, and as someone who works with children and vulnerable adults, I'm supposed to be forthright about anything criminal in my background.

Since I didn't... do it... I didn't tell my boss. She ended up suspending me (and believing I shoplifted) and I brought the paperwork to show it got dismissed, and then I gave her my lawyer's number. I guess she talked to him. She undid the suspension (and paid me as if I was on the clock so I wouldn't lose vacation days) and apologized.

I told the lawyer. I think he's kind of bummed I didn't get fired (he's a weird dude.) We are now working on some sort of case for compensation because they almost did cost me my living, since the government is the biggest employer of speech therapists and also, getting fired 5 months into a job would be poo poo.

Thanks again! I would have totally been a doormat about this situation had I decided to just ignore it.

quote:

My girlfriend is inconsiderate and is causing me to be sleep deprived.

Basically, I changed jobs fours months ago and now work the night shift. My days are free so I like to sleep during this time. My girlfriend works normal 9-5 and she gets very annoyed if I’m sleeping when she gets home, she says it’s rude that I don’t say “hello” when she enters the apartment. She knows that I’m sleeping, but she still expects me to be waiting at the door to greet her. The first time I didn’t say “hello” she sulked for the entire weekend and wouldn’t tell me what I had done wrong. Also, she wakes me up to talk all the time, even something small like “I just drank soup” or “the neighbour’s dog got a new collar” , and sometimes when she’s on the phone she’ll come into the room and talk extremely loudly until I wake up.(She’s always been like this though, even when we had the same work and sleep schedule) Also, she slams doors and windows, plays music and puts the volume on the TV up really loudly (one time so loudly our neighbour complained) I told her I’m exhausted, but she says that I’m a cry baby and that real men don’t need that much sleep.

Also, I feel like she wants to sabotage me. She knows that I have celiac disease, but she gets annoyed when I have to buy gluten free food. She says things like “it’s all in your head and you need to toughen up.” She’s constantly offering to make me sandwiches and dinners full of gluten, even though I’ve repeatedly told her I can’t eat gluten. I even printed a page off the internet to explain it to her better and she ripped it up in my face and told me to stop being so dramatic. It’s embarrassing, whenever I eat gluten my stomach swells out to the point where I look like a pregnant man. She doesn’t like when I go to the gym either because she says there are other women there with revealing sports bras.

Also, I’ve been smoking for the past two years over stress (just cigarettes) and I’ve been trying to quit recently. For the past few months whenever I’d be a week without smoking, she’d buy me a pack of cigarettes even though she knew that I was trying to quit. She never used to buy me them when I actually wanted to smoke. This has happened multiple times. It’s hard to resist and I usually give in, but for the past three weeks I haven’t smoked at all and she’s been trying so hard to make me start again. She doesn’t smoke herself usually, but just last night she was in the living room smoking a cigarette, then held the box out to me and said, “I’ve only had one. There’s nineteen left. You can have them if you’d like.” I got angry with her and told her that she was destroying my plans to get healthy, then she just said something like, "This is why I don't want you to quit. You get too moody without them."

Also, she ignores me and interrupts me whenever I talk, changes the subject and so on.

TL:DR My girlfriend refuses to listen to me and doesn’t respect my boundaries. She’s making me sleep deprived and won’t let me quit smoking. How do I make her listen to me?

Thanks for reading.

quote:

We have a few things in common and neither of us ever want kids. I worry that if we break up I'll never meet another person who wants to be childfree.

Also, I don't really like being touched and she hates sex, so it works out.

Adam Vegas posted:

This woman is loving nuts:

I (25/male) feel like my girlfriend (26/female) of 5 years is inconsiderate of my feelings and she sabotages my efforts to improve myself. I want to quit smoking, but she won't let me. How do I make her listen to me?


Later on in the comments he provides his reasoning for why he hasn't dumped this loving idiot already:

Jeza posted:

I have a more meaningful relationship with my toaster.

Danaru posted:

[Alberta] I got detained in a bad stop at a department store - now they want $ from me?


[Update, Alberta] I got detained in a bad stop at a department store - now they want $ from me?

Danaru posted:

[Alberta] I got detained in a bad stop at a department store - now they want $ from me?

quote:

I told the lawyer. I think he's kind of bummed I didn't get fired (he's a weird dude.) 

OctaMurk posted:

The things human beings will put up with for the sake of not being alone, lmao

quote:

A week ago I brought a dish to a potluck. Dish wasn't actually made by me. I bought it that morning at grocery store. It was a turkey salad. Expiration date not for a few days. Put it in the office fridge until the noon potluck that day. There were about 15 other dishes there. I don't know which ones she ate and which ones she didn't. The potluck lasted about an hour. The turkey salad was out about probably an hour and 5/10 minutes give or take. It was put in the fridge during clean up.

No one else that I know complained to me about being sick.

She apparently got sick soon after the potluck and went home. She is two or three months pregnant. She had a miscarriage.

The turkey salad is old by now probably but it is still in the office fridge.

She thinks my turkey salad caused her illness because her doctor said she might have food poisoning. Her friend that works with her came and got the turkey salad for "testing". It has been a week. I mean it is probably going to be worse now that when it was fresher. But I don't know food science.

Her friend mentioned me paying for the doctor bill.

She sent me a text saying I should be careful what I serve. Like no one else got sick, I don't know.

Am I responsible here? Do I go to HR? Get a lawyer? Do people usually get sued over this sort of thing?