/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Bubblyblubber: Nov 17, 2014

Could be worse, he could have taken the kid's kidneys.

My Girlfriend [31 F] Donated her Kidney To Save Me [32 M],But Iam No Longer In Love With Her Any-More, What Do I Do?

quote:

u/CrazyHacks
tldr: I am 32 years old and my girlfriend is 31 years old. We’ve been together for 5 years and now live together in a nice house. Sometime ago, I had serious medical problems and she gave me one of her kidneys to save my life.

However, things have been slowly fizzling out and I’ve been feeling like we don’t belong together for a few months now. I feel like if I don’t make a decision soon we will be married and I will feel this way forever.

But on the other hand, getting a kidney transplant has changed my life for the better in so many ways. I feel like staying together is the right thing to do even if I’m not in love anymore.

I’ll never be able to pay her back. I’m so torn and conflicted and feel like I have to make an impossible choice.

If I stay with her, I’ll always feel trapped and in a loveless relationship. If I break up with her, I’ll forever feel like an evil person for dumping someone who literally put their life on the line for me.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 18:55

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# ? May 31, 2024 03:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Dude is an idiot but he's not wrong that it isn't earning any interest in that account and if nothing else they should have it in bonds to satisfy the grandfather's recession beliefs

9/10 dude idiot
1/10 broken clock

I agree, or CDs, but on the other hand inflation is extremely low and that's not really a ton of money to have in cash. And yeah we're edging a recession so buckle up.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 18:58

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Bubblyblubber posted:

Could be worse, he could have taken the kid's kidneys.

My Girlfriend [31 F] Donated her Kidney To Save Me [32 M],But Iam No Longer In Love With Her Any-More, What Do I Do?

Surgically putting someone else's organ into yourself like this makes you understand them better than you ever could otherwise. That fizzling wasn't a loss of love, it was true understanding as her true nature became known to you through osmosis. You now understand how she feels about herself, all of the time. :sever:

and move on, and hopefully steal the organs of someone that likes themselves.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 18:59

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Saving someone�s life is emotional blackmail.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:26

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

"Thanks for the kidney, however I've come to realize that you're kinda boring, welp, see ya later"

I imagine the GF will be super thrilled with her decision to donate the kidney when that news drops

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:31

OctaMurk: Jun 21, 2013

Ham Sandwiches posted:

"Thanks for the kidney, however I've come to realize that you're kinda boring, welp, see ya later"

I imagine the GF will be super thrilled with her decision to donate the kidney when that news drops

Just give the kidney back

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:36

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

also lmao that a family with maybe ~$200,000 in liquid or semi-liquid assets thinks that they should be buying a Tesla 3. What is it about Teslas that makes ostensibly "smart" people think they can afford them?

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:39

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Pick posted:

also lmao that a family with maybe ~$200,000 in liquid or semi-liquid assets thinks that they should be buying a Tesla 3. What is it about Teslas that makes ostensibly "smart" people think they can afford them?

Isn't the Teala 3 like $35k and you get some sort of tax credit for buying an all electric vehicle to offset some of the cost?

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:56

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

"Electric" is like "organic;" they scratch some people's need to feel clean and smart.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 19:59

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

And Tesla is specifically I Am A Very Smart Person, Smarter Than Everyone Else: The Car.

Which isn't surprising since Elon Musk(the posterboy for people who have a burning need to feel Very Smart) is involved.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:01

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

fruit on the bottom posted:

Mom has credit in my name HELP

UPDATE: Mom has credit in my name HELP

I don�t think Dad is going to be super helpful.

Advice - "didn't see it"

I don't know, it sounds like dad has the potential to be very helpful in getting rid of both her parents in one fell swoop. Not in any constructive way, though.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:10

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Jeza posted:

That's a terrible thing to happen, but I'm afraid I can't pity any person for whom English is their first language yet still use the phrase "on accident".

Maybe her dad's choke out caused brain damage to the grammar part of her brain. You don't know.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:10

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Bored posted:

Maybe her dad's choke out caused brain damage to the grammar part of her brain. You don't know.

You aren�t know*

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:46

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

My[23M] mom's[51F] friend[49F] is acting really inappropriate with me and I don't know how to talk to my mom about it.

quote:

So my mother has this friend, let's call her Kay. My mom and Kay go way back since their childhood and they were best friends. But I guess they had a falling out like 10-15 years ago. I don't know the details of it but I do know that something happened between them and they had a big fight that ended their friendship for the foreseeable future.

But around September of last year, my mom and Kay reconnected. They started talking again when Kay moved into our town and that had a positive effect on my mother. She was genuinely happy to have her friend back in her life and they started hanging out again.

Now to my issue. For the last 6 months, my mother has been living on her own. Let's just say that my parents are taking a break from each other and my mother did something rather stupid that jeopardized their relationship. They're using this time apart to figure out what's next and work on saving this marriage to which my mother is 100% committed and is trying her best to un-screw the situation she created.

I've been to my mom's place and spent some time with her. I'd spend a weekend with her since it's evident she is rather lonely and misses her family. My siblings would also go and visit her, we kinda take turns. My problem came the last time I visited her. Kay is currently living with my mom. They're roommates and share an apartment together. At first, I didn't mind Kay at all. She was nice and pleasant to me.

But as more time passed, she started being more, for lack of better word, sexual with me. Like she'd start complimenting me on how great I look, what a "beautiful" and "sexy" man I have grown up to be. She started being more touchy with me, she'd use any excuse to touch me, feel me up. Unwanted shoulder rubs have become a thing whenever she was around me.

She genuinely made me feel uncomfortable around her and creeped me the gently caress out. The last straw was like 2 months ago when I was visiting my mom and Kay was there as well. I was taking a shower and was coming out of the bathroom. I had a towel around my waist and was making my way to my room. I was walking out and Kay came out of the guest bedroom. We made eye contact and I quickly and very awkwardly smiled at her and she I swear to you, licked her lips. When we passed each other, she let her fingers run through my stomach and whispered to herself "nice"

I left after that and even though I had a few more days planned for my mom, I told her I have some business and gotta go. I haven't been to see my mom for some time now, mainly because Kay is around and I don't want to be around her. Like I said, she just makes me super uncomfortable and I avoid her. I blocked her on social media because once she tried to flirt with me on fb. I am writing this because I have no idea how to explain to my mom why I won't go and visit her. She knows that something is bothering me but I don't know how to talk to her about my issue with her friend. Like I said, they live together and Kay is around the apartment a lot.

I don't mind spending time with my mother. She is a sweet and gentle woman that never did anything wrong towards me or my siblings. But she does have a history of jumping to conclusions and not really believing people, which is one of the main reasons she and my dad are separated right now.

How should I talk to my mother about Kay? I don't know if she will believe me and I don't want this to become he said/she said situation. And I honestly don't want to jeopardize my mom's friendship with Kay. Like I said, my mother is genuinely thrilled to have Kay back in her life and I don't want to ruin that. So, how should I explain to my mother why I can't go and see her while Kay is around?

tl;dr my mom's friend is being super inappropriate to me, making sexual comments and makes me feel uncomfortable. I like visiting my mom and spend a day or two with her but I can't do it while Kay is around because she will use any excuse to touch me, feel me up and that makes me not want to visit my mother. How do I talk to my mom and explain to her why I can't visit her while Kay is around?

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:47

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

My[23M] mom's[51F] friend[49F] is acting really inappropriate with me and I don't know how to talk to my mom about it.

The Graduate remake lookin' good.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:53

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

I (24m) got my girlfriend (21f) a luxurious bed set for Christmas. She stumbled upon it and told me she hates it.

quote:

This hurts my feelings, every year I try to get her something she will love but it ends up with her completely hating it. I even went as far to confirm with her family if this was a great practical gift for her and her mother agreed this was a great gift idea.

How do you deal with ungrateful people in your life? I honestly just get upset and don�t know how to react. I love anything she gets me because I�m just happy she tries. She doesn�t have any hobbies and specifically mentioned not to buy her clothes or makeup as she has tons or can buy that stuff on her own.

She wants like a special unforgettable gift and with our current finances that�s just not possible (a trip to Hawaii for example)

TL;DR girlfriend hates Christmas gift I got her, she�s been like this every year of our 5 year relationship. How do you handle ungrateful people?

quote:

[�]airaqua [score hidden] an hour ago
Why doesn't your gf simply give you a wish list where you can pick an item?
She wants like a special unforgettable gift and with our current finances that�s just not possible (a trip to Hawaii for example)

Sorry, but this girl sounds overly spoilt. Is she actually working? Is she getting you expensive gifts as well? What's your budget for gifts?

[�]bigbadkenny [S] [score hidden] an hour ago*
She wants to be surprised, but at the same time expects me to read her mind.
She works and makes pretty good money.
She always go above and beyond on gifts for me. It�s because I have an amazon wishlist I continuously update.

We just bought a brand new car together last month, our budget was $100 for Christmas towards each other. I have been saving some extra and working overtime so I could spend just a hit extra (total was $176 for the full bed set) and this wasn�t really a surprise to her, I do my best a couple months in advance to question her and get ideas I can put in notes for stocking stuffers and main gift ideas.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:56

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

quote:
We made eye contact and I quickly and very awkwardly smiled at her and she I swear to you, licked her lips. When we passed each other, she let her fingers run through my stomach and whispered to herself "nice"

nice

(It's harassment but he is in zero danger and should sack up and say something about it so we can villify the mother when she is angry and unsympathetic)

# ? Dec 17, 2017 20:57

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Doc Hawkins posted:

nice

(It's harassment but he is in zero danger and should sack up and say something about it so we can villify the mother when she is angry and unsympathetic)

Watch it turn out he's complained about being a virgin to his mom and she asked Kay to help him out with that.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:03

Grem: Mar 29, 2004; Can't post for 28 days!

I mean, just bang the old lady.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:03

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

And then bang Kay.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:05

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I've never met a Tesla owner who wasn't an insufferable douchebag. 🤔

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:12

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

fruit on the bottom posted:

And then bang Kay.

Either he's an idiot or Kay's an uggo. When I was 24 I'd nail anything that wasn't already nailed down if given a chance.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:13

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Outrail posted:

Either he's an idiot or Kay's an uggo. When I was 24 I'd nail anything that wasn't already nailed down if given a chance.

Don't think he's the idiot here, horndog.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:46

RPATDO_LAMD: Mar 22, 2013; 🐘🪠🍆

Jeza posted:

That's a terrible thing to happen, but I'm afraid I can't pity any person for whom English is their first language yet still use the phrase "on accident".

The same idiots who make this mistake all the time keep misspelling colour and kerb and saying chips when they mean crisps, too! I can't believe it!

# ? Dec 17, 2017 21:48

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Just found out my (40M) wife (37F) never informed her parents that I am Jewish. I just heard her dad (66M) go on an Anti-Semitic rant.

quote:

Been married 4 years. Wife is pregnant, I have a kid from a previous marriage. We are very much in love! And I really have no intention of breaking up or divorcing or anything. But this just came up, and I am unsure of what to do.

So I am not close with my parents in law, they live kind of far, and we see them typically around the holidays and that is about it. My wife talks to them a lot.

I am jewish, not religiously but both my parents are jewish.

So my wifes dad came and was looking for my wife, but she had the flu, so he impromptu asked me to go with him to go christmas tree shopping in her place. I said sure, me and him had gotten along pretty well. Except, we passed by south williamsburg (heavily jewish area in brooklyn) and he went on a WILD anti semitic rant against jews. I mean just, the worst you can imagine. Saying they were greedy, saying they dont know how to drive, he must have name listed a dozen famous jews saying that those jews control everything, he mentioned that we have genetic defects and that is why we 'overcompensate' by stealing. I had no clue what to say or do, I was just sort of like "...oh... uhhh I guess?" the entire time.

We ended up meeting with my mother in law near the end, and the dad mentioned that we passed by a massive group of jews and the mom just scoffed and said something in French (wife is french, fyi) and I could tell it was bad.

I am unsure what to even say. How the gently caress could my wife keep this from me? That her parents were THAT horrifically bad? Against my people?

How do I bring this up to her? What are they going to do if they ever find out? We have a JEWISH KID coming! What the hell? This is not something she can keep forever.

tl;dr: I am jewish, just found out my wifes parents are anti semitic and dont know i am jewish

*Seinfeld base riff*

# ? Dec 17, 2017 22:32

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

quote:

How do I bring this up to her? What are they going to do if they ever find out? We have a JEWISH KID coming!

Mazel Tov!

# ? Dec 17, 2017 22:34

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

The same idiots who make this mistake all the time keep misspelling colour and kerb and saying chips when they mean crisps, too! I can't believe it!

America was a mistake

# ? Dec 17, 2017 22:36

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Won't the kid not be jewish because mom isn't?

# ? Dec 17, 2017 22:50

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Baronjutter posted:

Won't the kid not be jewish because mom isn't?

You are correct and a commenter chose to make this point (apparently it's called being a secular patrilineal Jew :jewish:

quote:

Just a heads up about growing up as a secular patrilineal Jew. It can be really confusing and isolating. Like, I'm not Jewish enough for some Jews but Jewish enough to experience antisemitism. Plus, I'm starting to realize that my kids are not really going to be Jewish at all and it bothers me more than I expected.

There are a lot of secular Jewish organizations in NYC and I'd recommend looking into those groups. Being Jewish is more than just religion and some of those groups do a really good job of creating community and promoting the secular/humanistic values of Judaism.

As for your inlaws, your wife done goofed. She failed you and your kid by a)not protecting you from her family and b)not doing anything to stand up to her parents' bigotry. I'd suggest showing her this post and basically asking her why she didn't warn you and what she's going to do to protect you and your family in the future. With the inlaws, I'd just be blunt, "wow, that's a very bigoted thing to say. As a Jewish person, I'm insulted by your remarks. "

# ? Dec 17, 2017 22:52

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

La Brea Carpet posted:

Just found out my (40M) wife (37F) never informed her parents that I am Jewish. I just heard her dad (66M) go on an Anti-Semitic rant.

*Seinfeld base riff*

What a coward. And given that she hid this from her parents, he and his wife are probably a great pair on that score. Good loving luck to their kid.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:06

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My (27f) neighbor (80s?f) is a really mean old lady. However she gets no visitors, so I feel that if I allow her to be terrible to me, it's still human contact (and we know if she's still alive and her animals aren't starving). My husband (29m) wants me to quit checking on her. Opinions?

quote:

Basically, just like the title says, my older neighbor is an exceptionally cantankerous old lady. She has been since we moved in five years ago. I've gotten to know her pretty well and know that her family has more or less abandoned her and she has no friends. She's pretty much figured out how to live off of amazon prime so without me and the UPS guy, I would guess she has no human visitors at all.

I make it a point to check in on her once a day. More often than not I'm met with "mind your goddamn business" and a door slammed in my face. Maybe once a week or so, she'll actually let me in and I make her an omelet but she spends the entire time complaining about how loud my husbands truck is (it's really not, he hasn't modified it or anything), how she hates how we trimmed our bushes or she thinks I stole her amazon packages...or some variation on that general theme. I usually sit and nod my head, deny as best I can and make sure she's taken care of until I leave until the next day when the door will probably be slammed in my face.

She has two very adorable dogs that she lets out but I don't think she's capable of cleaning up after them so maybe once a week I'll pick up the dog poop in her back yard--for this she'll accuse me of wanting to get in on her will and has never thanked me. Like I said, she's just not a pleasant person.

My husband can't stand her and with good reason and it really annoys him that I spend so much time in her company (in reality maybe a few minutes a day, an hour or two once a week). I know I'm something of a glutton for punishment but I feel like if I don't stop by, there's a very good chance she could die inside her house and no one would really know until the bills stopped being paid. It gives me nightmares to think of those poor little dogs being terrified with their owner dead and no one coming to save them. My husband really wants me to save myself the stress and just avoid her because she can be really hurtful.

Can I get a neutral opinion on what I should do?

tl;dr: I check in on my very mean older neighbor once a day. She's never been nice to me or thanked me but I feel like I need to so she has some sort of human contact. My husband wants me to stop.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:18

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Haifisch posted:

My (27f) neighbor (80s?f) is a really mean old lady. However she gets no visitors, so I feel that if I allow her to be terrible to me, it's still human contact (and we know if she's still alive and her animals aren't starving). My husband (29m) wants me to quit checking on her. Opinions?

Let the old bat watch Matlock in peace you busybody!

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:20

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Haifisch posted:

My (27f) neighbor (80s?f) is a really mean old lady. However she gets no visitors, so I feel that if I allow her to be terrible to me, it's still human contact (and we know if she's still alive and her animals aren't starving). My husband (29m) wants me to quit checking on her. Opinions?

Lady, you'll know when she dies, trust me. Now stop checking on her.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:22

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

the day she stops checking on this old lady will be the day this old lady will feel relief. then maybe she won't kill herself.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:32

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

How about check weekly? The dogs can eat her if she dies at the start of the week anyway.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:33

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Haifisch posted:

My (27f) neighbor (80s?f) is a really mean old lady. However she gets no visitors, so I feel that if I allow her to be terrible to me, it's still human contact (and we know if she's still alive and her animals aren't starving). My husband (29m) wants me to quit checking on her. Opinions?

Doing the right thing for its own sake, and not for appreciation or reward, is good.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:40

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Haifisch posted:

My (27f) neighbor (80s?f) is a really mean old lady. However she gets no visitors, so I feel that if I allow her to be terrible to me, it's still human contact (and we know if she's still alive and her animals aren't starving). My husband (29m) wants me to quit checking on her. Opinions?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PxPx-sxXlc

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:44

Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

blarzgh posted:

Doing the right thing for its own sake, and not for appreciation or reward, is good.

The question is whether annoying an old lady who slams the door in your face because you feel the need to do a daily "safety check" is doing the right thing. Going once a week might be the right thing, but every day isn't.

# ? Dec 17, 2017 23:54

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

The question is whether annoying an old lady who slams the door in your face because you feel the need to do a daily "safety check" is doing the right thing. Going once a week might be the right thing, but every day isn't.

My (80F) neighbor (20sF) won't respect my privacy. She barges into my house and cooks terrible food that she expects me to eat and won't listen to any of my complaints about her idiot husband's loud truck or the way he butchered the neighboring hedge. I've told her to leave several times and tried slamming the door in her face but she ignores me. I just want my privacy so I can die in peace. Opinions?

# ? Dec 18, 2017 00:45

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# ? May 31, 2024 03:07

Khorne: May 1, 2002

La Brea Carpet posted:

Let the old bat watch Matlock in peace you busybody!

I think she should go with the opposite approach. Bake something or have some excuse to harass your old neighbor. Try to play spades or checkers or something with her. Just being all "hi, I'm talking to you for no reason every day" is pretty drat annoying.

# ? Dec 18, 2017 01:00

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