/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Me [32F] with my co-worker[late 50'sM] of 1.5 years, farts audibly and deliberately in my office and others' space

quote:

This is absolutely absurd, but I don't have any idea what to do any more. This man is a healthcare provider at the clinic where I work, and he farts, loudly, and with satisfied grunts afterward. It is truly disgusting. This has been going on for the entire time I've worked here, but only recently have I stopped giving him the benefit of the doubt.

At first, he farted loudly in the corridor to the bathroom. We thought hey, maybe he's just got stomach problems, whatever. Then, he started farting in this common area/fax machine/mailroom area that is around the corner from my office, but still in the same literal room. My desk is in the corner of this room, and I play music and have decorated this space(with managerial approval.) He knows I'm back here, and he's started farting then slamming the door behind him. The first time it happened, they were silent but deadly farts, and the assistant practice manager looked at me in disgust when she came in here on his heels to fax something. She said "Smells like [physician's name]!" And I was genuinely angry, but still thinking "Surely he's got some health issues, whatever" and sprayed the area down with air freshener. The other day, he was at the fax machine, and farted then groaned in satisfaction. Dude was bearing down on that fart, hard. Today, just now, my coworkers were chatting and he stopped in front of them, 2 feet from the bathroom, farted, then went into the bathroom. This seems deliberate. What the hell is this guy's problem? He's generally an awkward man, makes really stiff small talk, takes 4x his share of food from any communal practice lunches, and is just generally a bizarre person but any and all of those things are fine. But deliberately ripping farts, in a professional, medical setting? Seriously?

One of my co-workers told me the assistant manager mentioned it and they all laughed, but then got serious and said "It's actually kind of an issue." Am I justified in going to my office manager about this? Or should I just react with disgust when he does it again in my space? At this point, I'm ready to point-blank tell him to not do this in my office space, but I'm a lowly paper-pusher and can't tell if basic politeness is a level enough playing field to call him out on.

tl;dr: A healthcare provider is farting loudly and offensively in the common and semi-private office spaces, can I call him out in a polite-ish way or am I justified in going to my practice manager?

Edit: two letters

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:02

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 13, 2024 07:00

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

maskenfreiheit posted:

Me [32F] with my co-worker[late 50'sM] of 1.5 years, farts audibly and deliberately in my office and others' space

That guy is asserting his dominance and hoping his impressive farts will signal his strength to all challengers. It's well known that having a healthy capacity to fart without making GBS threads yourself is one of the most sought after traits in our modern age. This lady should :sever:

and go work for a weak company with weak farts.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:05

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

It is a sex thing, and he is not the first guy to try to pull it

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:07

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Me [32F] with my co-worker[late 50'sM] of 1.5 years, farts audibly and deliberately in my office and others' space

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:12

The_end: May 17, 2014

maskenfreiheit posted:

Me [32F] with my co-worker[late 50'sM] of 1.5 years, farts audibly and deliberately in my office and others' space

As a healthcare worker. The best place to fart is in a patient's room before visiting hours.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:14

Lockback: Sep 3, 2006; All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

fruit on the bottom posted:

I [17M] made my best friend [17F] cry in front of our entire class when she was supposed to give a presentation

My hot take is that she could dish it out but wasn�t ready to take it. Also she probably wants/wanted to bang him.

She had a crush on him, he crushed her spirit, but drat that was a great comeback. Like "Think of it in the shower later" level. He probably passed on a relationship or whatever, but he'll remember that burn the rest of his life. Worth it.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:16

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

It is a sex thing, and he is not the first guy to try to pull it

Is it a sex thing or a sexism thing? I think it's more of a form of passive aggression, like calling the PhD holding research scientist in your lab "sweetie" or repeating back what someone else in a meeting said, but with much more confidence (and much less knowledge of the subject)

Do guys care how many likes a girl gets? (self.dating)

quote:

Maybe it's silly, but I always feel self conscious when I post on Facebook. My profile pictures only get around 30-60 likes usually, when other girls in my school get 200+. Would guys look at that & find me unattractive?

personally i won't consider loving anyone w/ a klout score under 75

maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 22:24 on Dec 19, 2017

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:22

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A lot of guys really get off on farts and subjecting women to farts. It�s a while thing.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:23

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Pick posted:

A lot of guys really get off on farts and subjecting women to farts. It�s a while thing.

yes but i mean like, i don't think they're "getting off" in a sexual sense.

i don't doubt some guys do, but i think for most they're just being aggressive in a way they think they can get away with

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:25

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Farting is not a biological function that humans being do, it's actually another way for men to repress women, it turns out

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:26

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Theophany posted:

I'm not a doctor but I can tell Jenny needs to lay off the fuckin' Lays.

I have this image now of a bag of potato chips with a prescription label on them.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:27

Doggles: Apr 22, 2007

My [28F] roommate [71M] refuses to remove his curtains so the rest of us can use the heater. What is the best way to proceed?

quote:

So, I [28F] live in a big warehouse space with my boyfriend [38M] (we share a room), a young woman [24F] (let's call her Betty), and an older guy [71M]. My boyfriend and I used to have a startup with the older guy (let's call him Carl) until we pointed out to Carl that he needed to stop touching women at work (yeah, seriously - we've heard multiple stories about him coming on to our business contacts to the extent that they stormed out of meetings, and he's made out with at least one contact, who's married), and he blew up and resigned. Since then, he's made our lives utter hell - both business and personal lives - attacking us with ridiculous legal threats and even telling Betty that he's going to change the locks on the warehouse and get us taken off the lease. He, my boyfriend, and I are all on the lease. Betty's not.

We want Carl to leave, first and foremost. We now consider him to be both a narcissist and a sociopath, and we don't feel comfortable living with him. But in the meantime, it's winter, the warehouse is cold, and we want to turn on the heater. Carl has hung up a couple curtains above the heater - it's one of the industrial ones, that's essentially fire in a metal box - so it's a fire hazard and we haven't turned it on. It's a weird floor plan -- his bedroom is up a private set of stairs, and he has windows on either side of his room that look out over the common spaces. So the curtains are hanging outside of his bedroom windows, which are next to the heater. My boyfriend and I are relegated to our bedroom, where we at least have a space heater. We confronted Carl about the curtains a few days ago and, in a friendly but firm tone, asked him to take them down so that we could use the heat. He said no.

Betty's just told us that Carl hates the heater - I'm thinking it warms up his room rather a lot, since he's right next to it. But he's out of the warehouse everyday from 7:30am to 8pm or later. We'd like to be able to use the heater, at the very minimum, during the hours when he's out. I'd go ahead and be assertive and take the curtains down myself, but I'd need to access his bedroom to do so, which given the current relationship, I'm sure he'd find aggressive. We already don't trust him around our things, and we don't want to give him a reason to think he can access our bedroom.

We don't want to move -- we're in a startup, so cash is tight, plus ninety percent of the furnishings in the common spaces are my boyfriend's or mine, plus Betty has made it clear that she doesn't want to live with Carl.

How should we handle this at this point? Are there any legal options to force him to take down what's essentially a fire hazard?

Thanks.

tl;dr: My roommate's hung up curtains above the only heater in our shared warehouse, and he refuses to take them down. How can we get him to take down the curtains?

Yes, clearly it's the curtains that are the primary concern here.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:28

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Doggles posted:

My [28F] roommate [71M] refuses to remove his curtains so the rest of us can use the heater. What is the best way to proceed?

Yes, clearly it's the curtains that are the primary concern here.

An older guy? :monocle:

you don't say!

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:29

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Use a disposable email address and send a company wide 'Kind reminder that it's impolite and inappropriate to pass gas in another person's personal space. I don't want to cause any embarrassment but Gary you're a loving disgusting piece of crap, knock that poo poo out or I'll burn your car down to the rims.'

e:

Doggles posted:

My [28F] roommate [71M] refuses to remove his curtains so the rest of us can use the heater. What is the best way to proceed?

Yes, clearly it's the curtains that are the primary concern here.

Outrail fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Dec 19, 2017

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:31

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Outrail posted:

The 'probably' is a language thing. It's a way to tone down the stupidity of what she did. Pretty common in Australia at least to say 'probaly shouldn't have done that' about something that you obviously shouldn't have done.

Like if your colleague was wearing a baggy cashmere sweater at the landscaping business you run and accidentally got the trailing sleeve stuck in the woodchipper, you might remark 'Yeah mate, probably shouldn't have worn that today' as he's sucked into the whirling vortex of pulping blades.

I get that usage, but I'm not buying it here, because the sentence before is

quote:

I keep trying to defuse the situation through texts.

This is a time to be like "Wtf?!!!!! Jen??? What are you doing?? You must have the wrong number!!!!" and escalate in shocked horror from there.

This is nottttt the time to "defuse" like "I don't think this is a good idea..." because that's exactly what you say if you're looking to secretly bone.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:31

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Doggles posted:

My [28F] roommate [71M] refuses to remove his curtains so the rest of us can use the heater. What is the best way to proceed?

Yes, clearly it's the curtains that are the primary concern here.

So Carl�s bedroom is the foreman�s office and everyone else just sleeps on the line below?

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:32

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

obviously that redditor needs to eat a bowl of potato salad for lunch and crop dust that fucker

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:33

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Lockback posted:

She had a crush on him, he crushed her spirit, but drat that was a great comeback. Like "Think of it in the shower later" level. He probably passed on a relationship or whatever, but he'll remember that burn the rest of his life. Worth it.

nah it's salvageable. she gave him an opening. he just needs to apologize and decide if he wants to plow or not

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:36

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

My favorite part is that people were like "dude did you break up with her" and he's not only not dating her (and they both know it) but she didn't even know if he was actually gay

that guy is oblivious

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:41

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

maskenfreiheit posted:

Me [32F] with my co-worker[late 50'sM] of 1.5 years, farts audibly and deliberately in my office and others' space

Somebody post the "FART RAPE" thing from tumbler or wherever because I'm not googling that at work.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A lo of men ignore interest from women. He�ll be an incel soon.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:43

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

And you are talking about farts like they are a daily occurrence.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:44

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Pick posted:

And you are talking about farts like they are a daily occurrence.

Every time I think you can't get any weirder

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:45

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Farting is not a biological function that humans being do, it's actually another way for men to repress women, it turns out

It can be both.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:45

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

blarzgh posted:

Somebody post the "FART RAPE" thing from tumbler or wherever because I'm not googling that at work.

Seconded because I'm curious

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:45

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

fruit on the bottom posted:

It can be both.

It feels like a bit of a stretch, to me, but I guess that train has sailed and here we are, sorting farts into "genuine bodily function" or "microaggression with plausible deniability" categories

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:47

the bitcoin of weed: Nov 1, 2014

Doggles posted:

My [28F] roommate [71M] refuses to remove his curtains so the rest of us can use the heater. What is the best way to proceed?

Yes, clearly it's the curtains that are the primary concern here.

what the gently caress is this living situation seriously

might be the weirdest household I've seen in here aside from the 10-person poly communes

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:50

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

*shits on kitchen counter*
"It's just a NATURAL function! Are you saying humans shouldn't poo poo??"

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:50

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Baronjutter posted:

*shits on kitchen counter*
"It's just a NATURAL function! Are you saying humans shouldn't poo poo??"

I know this is GBS with pants making GBS threads stories, but like, some people tend to have farts and it can be something hard for them to control, whereas few people poo poo themselves on the reg, I certainly agree that making GBS threads on things can be a power move like when they smeared poop on the anti hobo robot in San Francisco :shrug:

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:52

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

blarzgh posted:

Somebody post the "FART RAPE" thing from tumbler or wherever because I'm not googling that at work.

through the power of duckduckgo i was able to obtain this dank leak, free from the prying eyes of the nsa

https://thewaterpipe.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/can-a-fart-be-misogynist/

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:52

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I think it�s like anything else in that can be natural and fine but expressed in a weird fetishy and sexual way. Like, everyone pees but then some people like getting peed on.

As for whether it�s happening like that in this case or at any given time I think you�d have to see it happen and see how weird he is about it. Sort of like that court case about pornography where you may not be able to nail down a perfect theoretical description but you know it when you see it.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:55

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Ham Sandwiches posted:

I know this is GBS with pants making GBS threads stories, but like, some people tend to have farts and it can be something hard for them to control, whereas few people poo poo themselves on the reg, I certainly agree that making GBS threads on things can be a power move like when they smeared poop on the anti hobo robot in San Francisco

Unless you got a serious medical condition and a doctor's note, don't loving fart on your co-workers.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:56

The_end: May 17, 2014

Pick posted:

And you are talking about farts like they are a daily occurrence.

You should keep track of how many times you fart in a week then discuss it with your doctor.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I am sure a little gas probably exits when you poo, but other than that there�s no reason to be farting unless you�re sick. Like daily farting means you�ve got a really worrisome diet and might need to lose some weight.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

How else am I supposed to ask girls out?

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

remember that smell is actually just miniscule particles of whatever you're smelling wafting into your nose

so he's literally making GBS threads in their faces, technically.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Farting is not a biological function that humans being do, it's actually another way for men to repress women, it turns out

I mean if you're 2 feet from a bathroom you were going to enter in the next second it does kind of come across as intentional.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

fruit on the bottom posted:

I think it�s like anything else in that can be natural and fine but expressed in a weird fetishy and sexual way. Like, everyone pees but then some people like getting peed on.

As for whether it�s happening like that in this case or at any given time I think you�d have to see it happen and see how weird he is about it. Sort of like that court case about pornography where you may not be able to nail down a perfect theoretical description but you know it when you see it.

Yeah I tend to assume that it's just a really gassy dude that likes burritos or cheese or something, and doesn't have a designated fart room to air them out, rather than it being an indication of men using farts as weapons to get their way, that's all. Though I agree that the story doesn't provide enough details to call it either way.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:57

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

Google says the average person farts 14 times a day. Just another thing I'm better at than the average person in life.

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 13, 2024 07:00

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

"IF I HAD TO GO INTO THE BATHROOM TO FART
NOTHING WOULD GET DONE" <-- actual response OP will likely get
if she confronts the fart rapist

# ? Dec 19, 2017 22:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »