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girl pants posted:Sadly this guy doesn't provide enough information to tell whether she's spending their money on purses and dog roller skates, or if he's just becoming a controlling shithead about money. The fact that he seems to resent her for not making as much money as he does and would rather potentially torpedo their relationship than go 'hey honey can we talk about our spending' makes me think it's the latter though. I think if it were an issue of "the second we merged accounts she started spending all available funds on _______" he would have provided some examples, as is it just sorta sounds like he's mad she's spending "his" money on starbucks everyday which is admittedly a waste but something they'd be able to talk about.
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Jan 4, 2018 06:25
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“After marriage,” she says, “when your violence of passion subsides, and a more cool and tranquil affection takes its place, be not hasty to censure as indifferent, or to lament yourself as unhappy; you have lost that only which it is impossible to retain; and it were graceless amidst the pleasures of a prosperous summer, to regret the blossoms of a transient spring. Neither unwarily condemn your bride’s insipidity, till you have recollected that no object, however sublime, no sound, however charming, can continue to transport us with delight, when they no longer strike us with novelty. The skill to renovate the powers of pleasing is said, indeed, to be{236} possessed by some women in an eminent degree, but the artifices of maturity are seldom seen to adorn the innocence of youth. You have made your choice and ought to approve it. “To be happy, we must always have something in view. Turn, therefore, your attention to her mind, which will daily grow brighter by polishing. Study some easy science together, and acquire a similarity of tastes, while you enjoy a community of pleasures. You will, by this means, have many pursuits in common, and be freed from the necessity of separating to find amusement; endeavor to cement the present union on every side; let your wife never be kept ignorant of your income, your expenses, your friendships, or your aversions; let her know your very faults, but make them amiable by your virtues; consider all concealment as a breach of fidelity; let her never have anything to find out in your character, and remember that from the moment one of the partners turns spy upon the other, they have commenced a state of hostility. “Seek not for happiness in singularity, and dread a refinement of wisdom as a deviation into folly. Listen not to those sages who advise you always to scorn the counsel of a woman, and if you comply with her requests pronounce you to be wife-ridden. Think not any privation, except of positive evil, an excellence; and do not congratulate yourself that your wife is not a learned lady, or is wholly ignorant how to make a pudding. Cooking and learning are both good in their places, and may both be used with advantage. With regard to expense, I can only observe, that the money laid out in the{237} purchase of luxuries is seldom or ever profitably employed. We live in an age when splendid furniture and glittering equipage are grown too common to catch the notice of the meanest spectator; and for the greater ones, they can only regard our wasteful folly with silent contempt or open indignation. “This may, perhaps, be a displeasing reflection; but the following consideration ought to make amends. The age we live in pays, I think, a peculiar attention to the higher distinctions of wit, knowledge, and virtue, to which we may more safely, more cheaply, and more honorably aspire. “The person of your lady will not grow more pleasing to you; but, pray, let her not suspect that it grows less so. There is no reproof, however pointed, no punishment, however severe, that a woman of spirit will not prefer to neglect; and if she can endure it without complaint, it only proves that she means to make herself amends by the attention of others for the slights of her husband. For this, and for every other reason, it behoves a married man not to let his politeness fail, though his ardour may abate; but to retain, at least, that general civility towards his own lady which he is willing to pay to every other, and not show a wife of eighteen or twenty years old, that every man in company can treat her with more complaisance than he who so often vowed to her eternal fondness. “It is not my opinion that a young woman should be indulged in every wild wish of her gay heart, or giddy head; but contradiction may be softened by domestic kindness, and quiet pleasures substituted in the place of{238} noisy ones. Public amusements, indeed, are not so expensive as is sometimes imagined; but they tend to alienate the minds of married people from each other. A well-chosen society of friends and acquaintances, more eminent for virtue and good sense than for gaiety and splendor, where the conversation of the day may afford comment for the evening, seems the most rational pleasure that can be afforded. That your own superiority should always be seen, but never felt, seems an excellent general rule. “If your wife is disposed towards jealousy of you, let me beseech you be always explicit with her, never mysterious. Be above delighting in her pain in all things.”
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Jan 4, 2018 06:25
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girl pants posted:I will literally never understand why people comingle their finances, purchase property together, and have pets, but somehow getting married is just a step too far Pick posted:bcuz they define "commitment" based on reddit posts and jokes from "f.r.i.e.n.d.s." it's like ultra dumb too because one of the whole points of getting married is that it reinforces that commitment by making it at least sort of a pain to stop being married so that if you have a rough patch in your 10 year relationship you don't just freak out and break up over something trivial* you'd have gotten over and forgotten about. which, all those other things with money and property do too, huge pain if you break up, but then, you skip over the part that has a chance of making you feel grateful and glad about your partner and your relationship with them? straight ahead to mortgage paperwork?? like dang *actually trivial things, I am not saying people should suck it up in abusive or terrible situations so don't try to make it that, I'm saying that all relationships experience at least some periods of dissatisfaction/unhappiness
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Jan 4, 2018 06:47
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:it's like ultra dumb too because one of the whole points of getting married is that it reinforces that commitment by making it at least sort of a pain to stop being married so that if you have a rough patch in your 10 year relationship you don't just freak out and break up over something trivial* you'd have gotten over and forgotten about. which, all those other things with money and property do too, huge pain if you break up, but then, you skip over the part that has a chance of making you feel grateful and glad about your partner and your relationship with them? straight ahead to mortgage paperwork?? like dang imho a lot of people break up over dumb poo poo they could have figured out and it leaves them ill-prepared when they come across a relationship that they won't break but have no conflict resolution skills 2 navigate
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Jan 4, 2018 06:49
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Pick posted:“After marriage,” she says, “when your violence of passion subsides, and a more cool and tranquil affection takes its place, be not hasty to censure as indifferent, or to lament yourself as unhappy; you have lost that only which it is impossible to retain; and it were graceless amidst the pleasures of a prosperous summer, to regret the blossoms of a transient spring. Neither unwarily condemn your bride’s insipidity, till you have recollected that no object, however sublime, no sound, however charming, can continue to transport us with delight, when they no longer strike us with novelty. The skill to renovate the powers of pleasing is said, indeed, to be{236} possessed by some women in an eminent degree, but the artifices of maturity are seldom seen to adorn the innocence of youth. You have made your choice and ought to approve it. This is nice, what's the source?
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Jan 4, 2018 06:50
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Ham Sandwiches posted:Because if you don't get married the government doesn't get involved, but if you do, then it does In Australia it does. If you act like you're married, then in the eyes of the law you are married.
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Jan 4, 2018 06:50
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Trauma Dog 3000 posted:This is nice, what's the source? We are all of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us, except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman and cook would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor they are obliged to serve you. Therefore, you must not add to their misfortunes by insulting or ill-treating them. If your situation is preferable to theirs, be thankful, without either despising them or being vain of your better fortune. You must, therefore, treat all your inferiors with affability and good manners, and not speak to them in a surly tone, nor with harsh expressions, as if they were of a different species. A good heart never reminds people of their inferiority, but endeavors to alleviate their misfortunes, and make them forget them.
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Jan 4, 2018 06:51
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Pick posted:We are all of the same species, and no distinction whatever is between us, except that which arises from fortune. For example, your footman and cook would be your equals were they as rich as you. Being poor they are obliged to serve you. Therefore, you must not add to their misfortunes by insulting or ill-treating them. If your situation is preferable to theirs, be thankful, without either despising them or being vain of your better fortune. You must, therefore, treat all your inferiors with affability and good manners, and not speak to them in a surly tone, nor with harsh expressions, as if they were of a different species. A good heart never reminds people of their inferiority, but endeavors to alleviate their misfortunes, and make them forget them. 
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Jan 4, 2018 06:59
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btw that book was published in 1860. today peter thiels applaud themselves for buying teenager blood to keep themselves "elf-young"
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Jan 4, 2018 07:06
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My GF was already married twice and didn't feel like going a 3rd round for the sake of nothing particular and I simply do not give a gently caress  Even got a house and a dog. He got to have a little bacon, he's very happy.
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Jan 4, 2018 07:07
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Pick posted:btw that book was published in 1860. today peter thiels applaud themselves for buying teenager blood to keep themselves "elf-young" murdering the 1% is as relevant today as it was in the past
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Jan 4, 2018 07:08
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Trauma Dog 3000 posted:murdering the 1% is as relevant today as it was in the past extremely relevant
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Jan 4, 2018 07:09
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“Live for some purpose in the world. Act your part well. Fill up the measure of duty to others. Conduct yourselves so that you shall be missed with sorrow when you are gone. Multitudes of our species are living in such a selfish manner that they are not likely to be remembered after their disappearance. They leave behind them scarcely any traces of their existence, but are forgotten almost as though they had never been. They are while they live, like one pebble lying unobserved amongst a million on the shore; and when they die, they are like that same pebble thrown into the sea, which just ruffles the surface, sinks, and is forgotten, without being missed from the beach. They are neither regretted by the rich, wanted by the poor, nor celebrated by the learned.{200} Who has been the better for their life? Who has been the worse for their death? Whose tears have they dried up? whose wants supplied? whose miseries have they healed? Who would unbar the gate of life, to re-admit them to existence? or what face would greet them back again to our world with a smile? Wretched, unproductive mode of existence! Selfishness is its own curse; it is a starving vice. The man who does no good, gets none. He is like the heath in the desert, neither yielding fruit, nor seeing when good cometh—a stunted, dwarfish, miserable shrub.”
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Jan 4, 2018 07:09
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LethalGeek posted:My GF was already married twice and didn't feel like going a 3rd round for the sake of nothing particular and I simply do not give a gently caress you have an open relationship though right
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Jan 4, 2018 07:29
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La Brea Carpet posted:If the Elvis impersonator is wearing gold fringe is it an admiralty marriage? No the gold fringe has to be on the unofficial marriage certificate (for framing) for it to be an admiralty marriage. The real problem is you can't get divorced normally, you have to get an admiralty divorce.
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Jan 4, 2018 08:48
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And here I thought you had to get an admiral to perform the marriage. What implications that has for Benjamin Sisko are unexplored.
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Jan 4, 2018 09:17
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La Brea Carpet posted:I've [22/F] been with my boyfriend [18/M] for almost 3 years and I want to have sex with him but I'm too afraid to ask. I'm still confused on how an 18 year old girl and a 14 year old guy became close friends and later started dating at 16 and 20. Ignoring the questionable morality of the scenario, how does that even happen? Some weird Mormon church thing?
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Jan 4, 2018 13:59
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I'm still confused on how an 18 year old girl and a 14 year old guy became close friends and later started dating at 16 and 20. Ignoring the questionable morality of the scenario, how does that even happen? Some weird Mormon church thing? Either in the US or in Pakistan.
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Jan 4, 2018 14:00
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I'm still confused on how an 18 year old girl and a 14 year old guy became close friends and later started dating at 16 and 20. Ignoring the questionable morality of the scenario, how does that even happen? Some weird Mormon church thing? In my experience high school geeks tend to stick together regardless of age. I knew a few freshman girls who dated juniors because they were all in drama club together.
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Jan 4, 2018 14:33
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That is the saddest and most pathetic thing I've ever heard
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Jan 4, 2018 14:55
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a freshman dating a junior isn't that weird
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Jan 4, 2018 15:13
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18-year-olds aren't juniors, they're seniors, maybe second-year seniors.
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Jan 4, 2018 15:18
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i like nice words
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nah not if you're born late in the year
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Jan 4, 2018 15:23
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Anne Whateley posted:18-year-olds aren't juniors, they're seniors, maybe second-year seniors.
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Jan 4, 2018 15:31
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Trauma Dog 3000 posted:murdering the 1% is as relevant today as it was in the past If you live in america, you are the 1%.
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Jan 4, 2018 15:49
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It's possible to have an 18-year-old junior if someone got left back, but the point is they were 14 and 18, 4 years apart. 4 years is the difference between a HS freshman and a college freshman. e: IMPORTANT NOTE: this post is about a bad woman
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Jan 4, 2018 15:49
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I think you should take a break from the thread, Anne
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Jan 4, 2018 15:58
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GF [20F] accuses [22M] me of being cheap with her because I didn't want to buy her a $50 tub of jelly beans.quote:Basically title.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:00
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La Brea Carpet posted:GF [20F] accuses [22M] me of being cheap with her because I didn't want to buy her a $50 tub of jelly beans. She dumb
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Jan 4, 2018 16:05
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She needs to drop him and get herself an older jelly daddy.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:07
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La Brea Carpet posted:GF [20F] accuses [22M] me of being cheap with her because I didn't want to buy her a $50 tub of jelly beans. Lets ignore for a second that this woman is he target market for dog rollerskates, why the hell did you move in together at 5 months after having had fights this stupid?
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Jan 4, 2018 16:08
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La Brea Carpet posted:GF [20F] accuses [22M] me of being cheap with her because I didn't want to buy her a $50 tub of jelly beans. Kanye West and Jamie Foxx have a song about this.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:08
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blarzgh posted:If you live in america, you are the 1%. Actually relatively few people in America have a net worth over $770,000, and I'm pretty sure not all of us have over $32,000 in annual income.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:12
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Honey if you want a sugar daddy you have to look for older men who have money. I know it's gross because they're all disgusting and flabby and have bad hair but if you stick it out long enough there are rewards down the line, like becoming the first lady
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Jan 4, 2018 16:14
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blarzgh posted:She dumb
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Jan 4, 2018 16:15
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Yawgmoth posted:Depending on when your birthday is and when you started school, you can absolutely be an 18 year old junior. for example, most of the windowlickers on the short bus were 18 yo juniors
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Jan 4, 2018 16:16
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La Brea Carpet posted:GF [20F] accuses [22M] me of being cheap with her because I didn't want to buy her a $50 tub of jelly beans. ‘You’re cheap!’ is the comeback of a butthurt big spender (when they want someone else to pay for their stuff). I’m wondering if this chick has a job, or if she’s constantly leaning on him to get her X, because she wants it. I had a friend who called her mother a ‘cheap piece of poo poo’ because her mom refused to buy her a nearly $400 pair of heels for her wedding.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:16
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Yawgmoth posted:Depending on when your birthday is and when you started school, you can absolutely be an 18 year old junior. I just used freshmen dating juniors as an example because I knew two freshmen girls dating juniors. I'm sure there were freshmen dating seniors too given how weird and gross high school drama clubs are. I also had a senior ask me out when I was a freshman, but I did not accept.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:19
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LadyPictureShow posted:‘You’re cheap!’ is the comeback of a butthurt big spender (when they want someone else to pay for their stuff). Only $400 for a pair of shoes, what a cheap piece of poo poo to even suggest something so cheap.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:20
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I'm starting to think that engagement rings, like Ikea, exist to test couples who get all cocky about being ready to get married. My boyfriend [35M] and I [31F] of 2.5 years are having differing opinions on an engagement ring. quote:u/Goodtimes32 Maybe I'm just revealing my biases here (I am after all a woman *gasp*) but I think it's hilarious that this dude thinks he should have a say in a piece of jewellery he is never going to wear and barely has to glace at ever again.
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Jan 4, 2018 16:27
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