/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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nerd plus rage: May 12, 2014; It's a metaphor for something, probably

Return of dog heelies?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:22

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:48

Barudak: May 7, 2007

He's a 16 year old boy dating an older woman and refusing to use any of his income on her so I assume he's really busy helping Trump write his tweets.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:35

Rod Hoofhearted: Jun 18, 2000; I am a ghost

Ride The Gravitron posted:

NSFW question/advice. Wife (30f) and I (25m) together 3 years made an agreement to have each "type" of threesome (two girls then two guys). We did the two girl but my wife's idea of two guy threesome is making me very uncomfortable.

I literally hate every single person in this story - the husband, the wife, the threesome lady, the threesome guy. Every single person is just the trashiest type of trash imaginable.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:39

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

LabyaMynora posted:

I literally hate every single person in this story - the husband, the wife, the threesome lady, the threesome guy. Every single person is just the trashiest type of trash imaginable.

I'm sorry they ignored your fetlife post.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:42

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

I (23F) am immensely attracted to my gay roommate (25M). How weird would it be to ask him if he would want to experiment with me? I can't live like this anymore with this one sided sexual tension.

quote:

Hello, my old friend from high school and also really good friend in college moved in with me 3 months ago. He used to be overweight, and in the past 5-6 months since moving from his parents house (hes dominican and his parents used to cook him TONS of delicious food which kept him overweight) he has lost weight, and then gained a lot of muscle. He went from, I am not even exaggerating, a 5/10 to a solid 9.8/10 on the attractiveness scale. I wish I could show you a pic but that is banned here, but he looks like a hairier, more solid muscular, more latino looking 90s johnny depp. It is absolutely ridiculous how hot he got.

Anyways considering he is gay, I don't think he has any idea of any type of like modesty or anything in the apartment because he isn't worried of me trying to get with him. He walks around in tight underwear in the apartment all day long. It is like constantly having a half naked supermodel in the apartment constantly, and I can't do anything about it, he isn't my boyfriend or even a possibility.

So I have sort of come to the conclusion that I do want to ask him to do stuff. We had sex once almost as a joke back in high school because he said he wanted to know what a vagina felt like, but it was so embarrassingly funny at the time that neither of us took it seriously. He did say he had a lot of fun, thats the thing, he said he enjoyed it. We had a threesome later on in like junior year of college, but me and him barely did anything to each other except that I blew him for like a minute. During college, I know he had sex with a few women, I once walked in on him getting rode by a girl on a couch, I've seen him kiss and make out with girls at parties, I know he got a blowjob one time etc. I know he has pursued girls at college, I wasn't sure if he was actually attracted to them or if he just wanted to get his cock wet in anything, boy or girl. But he says he is gay, and in the past 4 years I don't think he has done anything with a girl.

I am just so not sure how to approach this situation, but I just feel like I almost can't control how attracted I am to him. Even just thinking about him right now gets me going a tiny bit. I kind of want a repeat of the time in high school, super casual, super slow, we joked the entire time like it was no big deal. We have seen each other nude like literally a thousand times, so I just don't think that will be that awful in terms of the awkwardness.

How do I approach this? Is this just a no-no situation?

tl;dr: How do I approach my gay roommate to have sex with him?

This is all kinds of burying the lede.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:47

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

It's too bad dudes physically can't be bi.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:50

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

My [23 M] girlfriend [21 F] has an elitist attitude and it really bothers me.

quote:

u/morningteaandfruit

We've been together nearly exactly one year now.

Maybe I'm taking this too seriously, but once in awhile my girlfriend and I have found ourselves in conversation about drug addiction, how it affects individuals and our society at large.

Every time the topic comes up she is very adamant to say, "Survival of the fittest." She believes that if someone is weak enough to become addicted to a substance that it is their problem. It's their problem if they end up homeless, dead, or ruin their lives in general.

She thinks it is a waste of time to try and help these people and is quick to write anyone with these struggles off as "idiots" and "weak" and "not meant to survive."

This drives me crazy as I'm very much in belief that our society, like a chain, is only as strong as its weakest link. I'm much more empathetic to people that deal with substance abuse and I believe in general we should do what we can to provide love and help lift each other up to an extent, especially those of us who struggle.

From my point of view she has a generally elitist point of view in life. She is very into appearances, she works serving and assistant managing at a "fancy" restaurant and is very into jewelry and shiny things, anything to portray high-class. She likes to show off any kind of glamour, for example she loves taking pictures of her and her friends drinking champagne and things like that, they are very done up in makeup (which is fine, this is mostly to highlight that appearance is a major deal), fake eyelashes. She "jokingly" frequently suggests I buy her a ring or a diamond of some sort.

A handful of her coworkers are into seeking out college and professional football players, getting lip injections, finding sugar daddies. A customer once left her friend a low tip and this friend posted it on social media saying "what kind of peasantry is this." and they thought it was hilarious.

Given how I was raised, coming from a family below the poverty line, I'm very anti this behavior. In an argument once I said her family has a superiority complex and she called my family uneducated. That was a long time ago and we moved on but that might give you an idea on where we're at in opposing views.

The funny thing about it all is I work a very non-glamorous job but over the last few years of learning investment strategies I make more than twice the amount of money she does year over year, she just doesn't know it.

I hope I included enough information to show you what's going through my head. It just seems like a reoccurring attitude of hers that if someone struggles in life they should be left to sink or swim and that is diametrically opposed to my social philosophies in life. I don't know what to do with this feeling.

tl;dr: My girlfriend has no sympathy for those that struggle to do well for themselves in life, especially drug addicts. She seems obsessed with flashy things and presenting a certain lifestyle. To me her views seem selfish and elitist and I wrestle with how callous those views are to me.

Every time I read something like this I just desperately want to know what the person concerned will think of how they used to be in like, 10-20 years.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:50

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I (23F) am immensely attracted to my gay roommate (25M). How weird would it be to ask him if he would want to experiment with me? I can't live like this anymore with this one sided sexual tension.

This is all kinds of burying the lede.

How tf do you have sex as a joke? Do you just stick the d in and then yell HAHA JUST KIDDING?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:52

Streak: May 16, 2004; by Nyc_Tattoo

wouldnt it be so funny if you let me stick my dick in you haha no seriously how wacky would that be, just crazy right?

guy's a bisexual genius

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:53

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I (23F) am immensely attracted to my gay roommate (25M). How weird would it be to ask him if he would want to experiment with me? I can't live like this anymore with this one sided sexual tension.

This is all kinds of burying the lede.

They both sound intensely annoying and I hate how she writes in such a self-absorbed way.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 03:55

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

let me stick my dick in your vag haha no hetero

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

girl pants posted:

How tf do you have sex as a joke? Do you just stick the d in and then yell HAHA JUST KIDDING?

Yes, I mean, I know a woman who had sex with her gay best friend because she didn't get laid like ever and he was like "I've never hosed a chick before, how wacky would it be if we just did it"?

The answer by the way: So wacky he knocked her up

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:32

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Barudak posted:

Yes, I mean, I know a woman who had sex with her gay best friend because she didn't get laid like ever and he was like "I've never hosed a chick before, how wacky would it be if we just did it"?

The answer by the way: So wacky he knocked her up

Who knew humor wasn't a contraceptive?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:35

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Neighbor is stealing my fruit

quote:

I've caught my neighbor stealing my fruit several times now. He uses one of those long poles for picking oranges/lemons, reaches over into my yard and picks fruit whenever he feels like it. I've caught him several times, and he just runs back into his house. I've talked to the police but they said they can't really do anything, and the only thing I can really do is file a police report (which I did, months ago).

What happens if I grab his fruit pole and just take it the next time I catch him in the act? Is that considered theft? What would be a smart move in my situation?

I'm in California if that matters

Lemon stealing whores.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:35

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who knew humor wasn't a contraceptive?

it was just a prank!!

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:36

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

Neighbor is stealing my fruit

Buy a chainsaw and just cut off the pole as it crosses into your yard.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who knew humor wasn't a contraceptive?

His excuse was you can't knock another man up which immediately leads to a lot more questions about his approach to STD protection that I don't have answers to

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:37

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Who knew humor wasn't a contraceptive?

I'd say it was counterproductive but well...

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:38

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Doc Hawkins posted:

it was just a prank!!

"So that's where the P. in your name comes from!" says Nathan, as Billy Prank Jacobsen takes his next shot of tequila and nods.

Barudak posted:

His excuse was you can't knock another man up which immediately leads to a lot more questions about his approach to STD protection that I don't have answers to

So... what happened with that pregnancy? Was it take to term. Is there a real Billy/Belinda Prank Jacobsen walking round?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:39

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Barudak posted:

Yes, I mean, I know a woman who had sex with her gay best friend because she didn't get laid like ever and he was like "I've never hosed a chick before, how wacky would it be if we just did it"?

The answer by the way: So wacky he knocked her up

This is the plot of the underrated 2004 movie "Saved." Worth a watch on prime streaming.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332375/

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:40

Barudak: May 7, 2007

He's also not the only gay guy I know raw-dogging women. The other guy was a stunningly attractive head barman/drink menu maker/etc. for Hilton's Latin American locations. Single traveling women would fall for him and because he found it funny he'd tell them he was gay over and over and if they kept pushing it would take them back to his room, and slowly lose his erection inside them due to his lack of attraction to them.

He stopped doing it to spite his estranged father who wanted grandchildren.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:41

Barudak: May 7, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

This is the plot of the underrated 2004 movie "Saved." Worth a watch on prime streaming.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332375/

I watched Saved! for the first time with this woman and her gay friend in what may be the most awkward film for such a pair.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So... what happened with that pregnancy? Was it take to term. Is there a real Billy/Belinda Prank Jacobsen walking round?

He proposed to her to get married because they were both from the deep south, she declined because she didn't want him to run around having gay affairs on him constantly and she wanted to finish her schooling so she got an abortion which completely broke his brain for being an unforgiveable sin to god and they never spoke again and I got to take a super fun trip to Tiffany's to figure out if you can return an engagement ring with no receipt.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:44

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Barudak posted:

I watched Saved! for the first time with this woman and her gay friend in what may be the most awkward film for such a pair.

He proposed to her to get married because they were both from the deep south, she declined because she didn't want him to run around having gay affairs on him constantly and she wanted to finish her schooling so she got an abortion which completely broke his brain for being an unforgiveable sin to god and they never spoke again and I got to take a super fun trip to Tiffany's to figure out if you can return an engagement ring with no receipt.

Just wow.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:46

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Barudak posted:

I watched Saved! for the first time with this woman and her gay friend in what may be the most awkward film for such a pair.

He proposed to her to get married because they were both from the deep south, she declined because she didn't want him to run around having gay affairs on him constantly and she wanted to finish her schooling so she got an abortion which completely broke his brain for being an unforgiveable sin to god and they never spoke again and I got to take a super fun trip to Tiffany's to figure out if you can return an engagement ring with no receipt.

You got to be in the gritty reboot of the movie directed by Christopher Nolan.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:46

Wickerman: Feb 26, 2007; Boom, mothafucka!

La Brea Carpet posted:

You got to be in the gritty reboot of the movie directed by Christopher Nolan.

Spice it up with some HIV and meth and I think we have a Golden Globe nomination

# ? Jan 8, 2018 04:49

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

I [F23] was turned down for a relationship by my FWB [M26] but I’m still having sex with him and can’t stop even though I feel hurt

u/gameofphones21

I’ve been in a FWB type of relationship with Alex for 9 months. Alex wanted a relationship 4 months into it. I didn’t have any feelings for him and said no, and he accepted it and we stayed FWB. Flash forward 5 months and I have surprisingly developed the feels for him and can’t hold it a secret anymore. I tell him about it. This time, he isn’t sure about it and is ”looking for something else”. He says he doesn’t have any feelings for me but likes me as a friend and FWB.

I feel extremely hurt, but I continue having sex with him and tell him my feelings have gone away.

Reddit I can’t stop. We meet up once in a while, have sex and then I go home. We don’t hang out outside the bed room anymore. We occasionally talk on social media but it’s once every two week or so.

I want to break it off because he doesn’t feel the same and I still have feelings for him but I’m unable to. I’m completely addicted to his body and persona. As soon as I get horny I can’t stop myself from approaching him and going to his place. As soon as the sex ends I feel depressed and go back home and have conflicting feelings of anger, sadness and joy.

He is a nice guy and treats me well, offers me food whenever I’m at his place and checks in on me to see if I’m doing fine. I somehow wish he was a jerk instead so I could justify not meeting up with him anymore.

How do I stop myself from having sex with him? It’s like an addiction and it’s hindering me from moving on.

Tldr: I can’t stop having sex with my FWB even though he broke my heart and we don’t want the same things.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:08

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I [F23] was turned down for a relationship by my FWB [M26] but I’m still having sex with him and can’t stop even though I feel hurt

u/gameofphones21

I’ve been in a FWB type of relationship with Alex for 9 months. Alex wanted a relationship 4 months into it. I didn’t have any feelings for him and said no, and he accepted it and we stayed FWB. Flash forward 5 months and I have surprisingly developed the feels for him and can’t hold it a secret anymore. I tell him about it. This time, he isn’t sure about it and is ”looking for something else”. He says he doesn’t have any feelings for me but likes me as a friend and FWB.

I feel extremely hurt, but I continue having sex with him and tell him my feelings have gone away.

Reddit I can’t stop. We meet up once in a while, have sex and then I go home. We don’t hang out outside the bed room anymore. We occasionally talk on social media but it’s once every two week or so.

I want to break it off because he doesn’t feel the same and I still have feelings for him but I’m unable to. I’m completely addicted to his body and persona. As soon as I get horny I can’t stop myself from approaching him and going to his place. As soon as the sex ends I feel depressed and go back home and have conflicting feelings of anger, sadness and joy.

He is a nice guy and treats me well, offers me food whenever I’m at his place and checks in on me to see if I’m doing fine. I somehow wish he was a jerk instead so I could justify not meeting up with him anymore.

How do I stop myself from having sex with him? It’s like an addiction and it’s hindering me from moving on.

Tldr: I can’t stop having sex with my FWB even though he broke my heart and we don’t want the same things.

Real TLDR: I broke my FWB's heart and now he broke my heart back and I'm so saaaaaaaaaaad

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:19

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

I'd go with 100 to 0 odds that if he was actually invested back into her she'd lose her interest immediately.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:20

Barudak: May 7, 2007

ArbitraryC posted:

I'd go with 100 to 0 odds that if he was actually invested back into her she'd lose her interest immediately.

I'd go higher.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:24

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Maybe in another 3 months they'll switch places and she wont want him and he will want her.

Kinda like Ladyhawke.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:30

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I would totally watch the gritty reboot of Saved but only if it still has a happy ending because I'm sensitive. :ohdear:

# ? Jan 8, 2018 05:54

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

My estranged sister [29F] of almost a decade is pregnant- my parents [56F/59M] are going to have a grandchild and not know about it

quote:

Okay, I'm going to try and make this short and organize my thoughts well.

Basically, I have a sister who left my family when I (21F) was 12. She has since accused my mum of abusing her and hasn't spoken to her in a decade, even though my mum reaches out at least once a year to ask for reconciliation. There have been many complicated events this past decade (family funerals, her college graduation, her getting engaged) that have just been a pile of heartbreak as she would reach out to everyone in my family (me, my dad, my brother [31M]) and isolate my mum. My mum is always in pain over this, she used to cry all the time about it when I was 12/13. All of us have begged her to at least consider being on civil terms with my mum, but she always refuses. It's been a very defining event in my family.

Now, my brother and my sister are both a great deal older than me, about 8 and 9 years as I'm about to turn 22. I was 12 when my sister left. I do not remember one single instance of abuse from either of my parents, done to me or either of my siblings. My mum had a temper when I was younger that I honestly attribute to her going through menopause, as she literally never gets angry anymore. I swear on my life I have never seen/ heard/ experienced any abuse in my house, whether it be emotional or physical. However, I understand that this does not prove it didn't happen, as I was a lot younger and people can hide abuse. I just think at some point, living in the same house with the supposed abuser and abusee, I would have at some point witnessed some sort of clue of abuse, but I recall nothing. I'm not even sure what type of abuse my sister is accusing my mother of, I'm guessing emotional but I really don't know, all I know is she calls her abusive. My parents are the most wonderful people in my life and have provided me with the best childhood I could ask for. They're endlessly generous and kind to me, and have done nothing but encourage and support me throughout my life.

Okay jump to present day. It's been a decade and my sister has stopped reaching out to anyone. I'm pretty much the only one left who has talked to her (VERY briefly) in the past year. Last week we found out my dad had to have a pretty urgent heart surgery. My mum begged me to tell my sister about it and have her call him in case anything happened. I called her, told her the deal, and she told me that she's pregnant and expecting very soon and wouldn't call my dad. I then had to go sit in a hospital room with both of my parents, knowing they're about to become grandparents.

I don't know what to do. My mum asked if I had called my sister, I said I wasn't able to contact her. She said "Oh, she must have changed her number. She never answers via that number and there's no way she wouldn't call if she knew something was up with her dad." Broke my heart to hear. I know that I can't keep this information from my parents, all they've ever wanted were grandkids. But I know my sister isn't going to let them see her kid, and it's going to cause even more heartbreak. Also, my dad is in not the best health, and telling him this is going to hurt him so much and I don't wanna stress him out and possibly harm him. The longer I keep this to myself the worse it's making me feel. I can't talk to my brother about this, that's another story, but he's basically a crazy white supremacist who's out of touch with reality and I try to limit my contact with him. I have to handle this alone.

TLDR; how do I tell my parents that my estranged sister of a decade is having their first grandchild that they will likely never even see without breaking their hearts to pieces?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 07:37

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

My wife of 2 years has become very morbid and it's starting to disturb me. I think it's because of her job. Am I worrying for nothing? [M and F, both 28]

quote:

My wife was in HR when we started dating but she hated it and eventually transitioned to her new career in the criminal justice system. She loves it and I'm proud of her. Obviously it can be stressful but she's never bored and loves helping people.

That's one of the things I love about her. She loves helping people and she has a lot of empathy. Sometimes she cries about the cases she has because she hates the terrible things people go through. But I feel like she communicates very well when these things bother her and she also has a therapist.

Over the past year or so I've noticed she's become very morbid in her sense of humor and just in general. I've always loved that we have the same sense of humor and we can both be very darkly humorous but not cruel. But lately I just feel unsettled with some of the things she says or does. We'll be watching something and something bloody happens and she'll make a joke. Or she'll just outright laugh. She wants to watch more violent things. If something doesn't have violence, she's less interested.

Is this a coping mechanism? I've tried to talk to her about it to let her know I'm here for her and to see if anything's changed for her in her mind, but she says she's good.

As an example (and the thing that made me want to post)... Yesterday she was telling me about some hockey player who nearly died on the ice and how afterwards he suffered from PTSD and depression anxiety and became suicidal, but now years later he's better and uses the experience to help men with the same mental health issues. I agreed with her that it's awesome he was able to turn it around and help people.

Then she said, "Wait til you see the video!" She wanted to show me the video of him nearly dying. I was uncomfortable, it was from the 80s or 90s so there wasn't really a closeup or replay, but it was still hard to watch this guy getting his throat slit. Then near the end, the camera pulls back and the audio for a car ad starts playing. My wife CRACKS UP laughing. Like just doubled over with laughter. I was like, "What???" and she said the upbeat car ad music was hilarious and inappropriate and she kept laughing for like 3 minutes. It was the first time I've ever been unsettled by something she did.

I've read that people in law enforcement use dark humor with each other. Is this the same thing? Does anyone have experience with this? My real question is just, should I be worried about her state of mind?

TL;DR - Wife has become increasingly morbid. I'm worried her job in the justice system is stressing her out too much and this is how she's coping. Am I worrying for no reason?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 07:39

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Divorce her, there are plenty of us with an unhealthy attraction to Morticia Addams just waiting for our chance and you're hogging it all.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 07:51

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

fruit on the bottom posted:

My estranged sister [29F] of almost a decade is pregnant- my parents [56F/59M] are going to have a grandchild and not know about it

It's probably a good thing for the sister that she severed so hard, i imagine whatever drove her to do it was significant and she made the right call. Most people can't cut their parents out of their life even when they should so ima guess she had plenty of reasons. I can also understand her not communicating it with her 12 year old sister at the time, particularly if she thought whatever went down wasn't gonna happen again. But really at this point, when she's still talking with said sister, what good is it doing anyone to hide what happened, now the OP is old enough to make her own decisions with the details and since she is including the OP in other stuff in her life it seems like the least dramatic option is to just outline what happened and move from there.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 07:54

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

My[24 M] girlfriend[21 F]wants to move into together. I'd love to but she refuses to train her dog in any form

quote:

Me and my girlfriend have been together for a little over 2 years.

This past year she bought a puppy when i advised her not to because her finances weren't 100% set up to really afford the responsibility of a dog. Things between us are great but the dog has become a serious hinderance in our relationship. We both currently have our own one bedroom apartments and the dog uses her entire house as a bathroom and since i'm a very clean person i've told her i'd prefer if the dog didn't come over to my apartment. Her bedroom is literally like a minefield between the pools of urine and poop everywhere.

The dog overeats and she never walks it enough. I love dogs and grew up with them but the dog has no discipline and does whatever it wants. It jumps on top of strangers and you can't walk into a room without it nearly knocking you over.

She constantly asks me to help out with the dog but whenever i make an attempt to discipline the dog in even the slightest way by telling it no or express to her how it's ridiculous that the dog is so untrained at nearly a year old she screams and calls me cruel and her go to line is "ITS A DOG!!" "WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF WE HAD CHILDREN?" My reply is usually "i wouldn't let the kids poo poo on the floor... thats what."

So reddit, what can i really do here? I love her but the dog is seriously becoming too much.

tl;dr: gf wants to move in but refuses to train dog in any form. do i have any options?

# ? Jan 8, 2018 09:28

Streak: May 16, 2004; by Nyc_Tattoo

Haifisch posted:

My[24 M] girlfriend[21 F]wants to move into together. I'd love to but she refuses to train her dog in any form

Make up a reason for the cops to have to show up at the house and they will shoot it in the face as soon as they open the door. Bing bing boom problem solved.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 10:02

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

CheesyDog posted:

First MFM threesome. A Bad and humiliating experience (self.sex)

lmao

ArbitraryC posted:

That's bait

# ? Jan 8, 2018 10:08

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

extra row of teeth posted:

Me me MEEEEEEE

Poor, flaccid bf.

bf was being a bitch if the whole point is some sph and humiliation then who cares if you can't get it up? Adds to it if anything.

quote:

tl;dr my husband is upset and depressed after he greatly enjoyed giving a man a blowjob together with me because he thinks he must be gay now

honestly it's not the 3somes a lot of the time it's the huge swathes of people who have been filled with prude shame ignorance their whole lives

it's cool bro you're not 'gay now' lol wtf. and if you find out you're not as straight as you thought so what?

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 10:14 on Jan 8, 2018

# ? Jan 8, 2018 10:10

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

e: drat

# ? Jan 8, 2018 10:14

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 04:48

Marmaduke!: May 19, 2009; Why would it do that!?

Ride The Gravitron posted:

NSFW question/advice. Wife (30f) and I (25m) together 3 years made an agreement to have each "type" of threesome (two girls then two guys). We did the two girl but my wife's idea of two guy threesome is making me very uncomfortable.

u/threesomequestion1

This one had a follow-up, it was deleted but the title was pretty good:

[update] my (25m) wife (30f) made arrangment to have threesomes but her idea of guy-guy-girl made me very uncomfortable. Our issues were much deeper than that--her ex husband beat the crap out of me and she's disappeared.

# ? Jan 8, 2018 11:36

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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