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Sales is also really easy. My job is literally getting people to like me and give me all their money.
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Jan 7, 2018 19:54
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Solice Kirsk posted:Sales is also really easy. My job is literally getting people to like me and give me all their money. You make a compelling case. Sending the check now.
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Jan 7, 2018 19:58
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soy posted:Ya I am borderline management and as I get closer my job just becomes more about appearances than anything else. Technically I guess I do some complex stuff but I honestly only really focus and work hard on things 3 or 6 hours a week, I spend as much or more time and effort coming up with bullshit ways to describe how much work is occurring.
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Jan 7, 2018 20:51
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LingcodKilla posted:You make a compelling case. Sending the check now. Wow, I didn't even have to joke about my tattoos or anything! That was easy!
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Jan 7, 2018 20:55
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SavageGentleman posted:feigning disinterest while fapping to these thoughts in the closet. Just lol if he actually does this instead of imagining it during sex.
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Jan 7, 2018 22:21
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Solice Kirsk posted:Sales is also really easy. My job is literally getting people to like me and give me all their money. I wish I was any good at this I couldnt sell a bucket of water to a man on fire
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Jan 7, 2018 23:39
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Amazing that people are worried about automation when most goons seem to have jobs that they barely do any work for. At least, with the ones who post all day...
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Jan 8, 2018 00:22
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I had a government job where I probably did about 5 hours a week of real work and dicked around online all day. I had my own office so never had to worry about someone walking by and seeing my screen - it was siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.
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Jan 8, 2018 01:27
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HerStuddMuffin posted:Looks like you just figured out what your job actually is. Ya I think you’re right tbh.
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Jan 8, 2018 04:14
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quote:I posted an anon con a while back about an embarrassing fact about me. My SO has since found that anon con and had thoroughly mocked the poster. I was planning on telling him about the fact, but now it feels impossible knowing how he truly sees the fact. Should I just never tell him? (it is medically related and could impact him so I know I need to but jesus how am I supposed to now) Does he know you read the thread? If not, just tell him about the fact with as much gravitas as you can and don't bring up the thread and his shame response will probably kick in If he does know you read the thread, well I guess that's a bit tougher quote:So my girlfriend says I'm being an rear end in a top hat and literally snapping at her regularly. Problem is I don't remember any of it. Dr Jekyll And Mr Bad Boyfriend I dunno, you can agree that if she thinks you're being a douche she can request that you stand up and walk around, and if you don't then she knows you're asleep, and if you do, you should probably see a psychiatrist because you aren't sleep-talking and you need medication for some bigger issues
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Jan 8, 2018 16:34
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Set up a camera, easy as that.
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Jan 8, 2018 17:05
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RCarr posted:Set up a camera, easy as that. You can probably get some advice on this from the father of one of the posters itt.
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Jan 8, 2018 17:47
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loquacius posted:Sleep jerk This happened to me once, when I was on a lot of drugs. I woke up the next morning to an extremely emotionally hurt girlfriend and felt terrible for weeks. Never happened again, and idk where the gently caress it came from.
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Jan 8, 2018 20:45
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runupon cracker posted:You can probably get some advice on this from the father of one of the posters itt. 
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Jan 8, 2018 21:32
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skeemon posted:This happened to me once, when I was on a lot of drugs. I woke up the next morning to an extremely emotionally hurt girlfriend and felt terrible for weeks. Never happened again, and idk where the gently caress it came from. Reminds me of one of the benzos stories where a user wakes up with his fiance's father warning him to never contact her again at risk of a restraining order.
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Jan 9, 2018 08:42
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Just lol if you’ve never woken up with your girlfriend mad at you because you cheated on her in her dream 
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Jan 9, 2018 09:22
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The rookie mistake is to ask "Well was she hotter than you?"
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Jan 9, 2018 10:59
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Bobby Digital posted:Just lol if you’ve never woken up with your girlfriend mad at you because you cheated on her in her dream Lol if your girlfriend has ever accused you of flirting with a family member
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Jan 9, 2018 11:11
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Dating a woman with a much hotter sister is a mine field I often remember traversing very fondly Edit: it’s way more fun to be dating the hotter sister, until you find out the ugly sisters husband is in love with your girlfriend secretly. I did both of those and honestly the first one was more fun.
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Jan 9, 2018 13:50
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Bobby Digital posted:Just lol if you’ve never woken up with your girlfriend mad at you because you cheated on her in her dream  Bonus points if she tries to stab you in your sleep over it.
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Jan 9, 2018 14:19
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I just blame my evil twin freduardo
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Jan 9, 2018 15:33
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I didn't post today, did I whoops sorry  quote:I recently found out that I have HPV and had a couple warts on my dick. I am about to meet a girl I've been in a long-term internet relationship with and there is a very high probability we'll bone. My confession is that I am not going to tell her because I already removed them using vinegar etc and if I tell her she probably won't gently caress me. So many people have it that it shouldn't be a big deal so I don't feel bad about it at all. If she gets cervical cancer or whatever and dies then maybe i'll feel bad but I can just blame it on one of her other partners. jesus christ dude wear a drat condom for this and several other reasons quote:I'm a 30-something white male, married with kids, and I'm known for not being as critical on what I find attractive in women. Like, I don't really care about size or if their teeth are perfectly straight, or if their hair is too short / long. I can usually find something attractive about any woman. Which brings me to the point of this confession. yeesh diff'rent strokes I guess
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Jan 10, 2018 01:29
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loquacius posted:I didn't post today, did I Please don’t post mods fan fic.
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Jan 10, 2018 01:33
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Jose we already know
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Jan 10, 2018 01:34
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Considering she is married someone else thinks the same way. Personally I love the look she gets on her face when she is asked about a Trump tweet. It's the perfect mix of exacerbation and disgust. I watch the daily White house press briefing because of that look, and hearing how she is going to try to spin something until someone tells her Trump tweeted something that says the exact opposite. It's great and super depressing that this is where we are now.
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Jan 10, 2018 02:06
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puppetmaster, withholding std info is sexual assault - don't do it!
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Jan 10, 2018 02:09
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fruit on the bottom posted:
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Jan 10, 2018 04:56
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we already know
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Jesus loving christ HPV dick, tell her so she can at least get the vaccine if she hasn't already, you loving selfish piece of poo poo.
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Jan 10, 2018 07:20
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diseased dick goon just shoot your genitals off (if ur American, if not you can obtain access to a hammer or possibly a knife). It's been proved in another GBS thread that you can't get in trouble for blasting ur sack. that's hosed up dude what the Christ man
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Jan 10, 2018 07:27
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quote:There was a stray cat that happened to actually come to me when I called it last night and I got an overwhelming urge to kill it and drink its blood to capture its soul or whatever bullshit your drunk mind puts into your head. It was gross as hell and I threw up several times, but I felt stronger afterward. I got laid the next day which almost never happens, believe it or not. So what would happen if I did it to a person? I really hate the iron-y taste of blood and it always makes me puke when I drink a lot of my own and again with the cat blood but it does seem to do something. I know this sounds fake but it's honestly a thought that comes up in my mind every day since the cat. hot take: drinking cat blood did not get you laid It actually might have, come to think of it, in a roundabout way, in that the confidence boost did you some good. What I'm trying to say is the cat blood was a placebo. quote:So, about five years ago, I was in a relationship with the person I thought was "the one". We were in our last year of college and planned to get married after graduating. Well, it didn't happen. See, this is another one where I don't really care if it's true because I liked reading it
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Jan 10, 2018 16:35
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Does drinking cat blood work like viagra? Asking for a friend.
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Jan 10, 2018 16:40
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Theophany posted:Does drinking cat blood work like viagra? Asking for a friend. China thread is thatway...
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Jan 10, 2018 16:55
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SHS fesh is clearly Jastiger trying to avoid his ban
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Jan 10, 2018 16:56
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Yeah I've been drunk plenty of times and I can safely say it wasn't the booze that made you crack open and drink a cat
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Jan 10, 2018 16:59
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If a cat got you layed maybe a human will get you an orgy. Makes u think
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Jan 10, 2018 17:38
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Eating human blood does get you laid, except it's in jail, and forcibly.
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Jan 10, 2018 18:06
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loquacius posted:hot take: drinking cat blood did not get you laid Drank cat blood "last night" Got laid "the next day" think about it "every day since"
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Jan 10, 2018 18:06
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quote:Then one day, I got a message from my ex that read: "I literally see your tag everywhere I go. Every time I try to stop thinking about what I did- I just get slapped in the face with another one that reminds me of you." Like, literally until the very end I thought she left your sorry rear end because you were a "grafitti
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Jan 10, 2018 18:30
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*spends five hours spray painting my l33t handle all over public property in essentially wingding font* this perfectly encapsulates the darkness of my soul *listens to my chemical romance on the bike ride home*
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Jan 10, 2018 19:04
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Nah I'm kidding, we were all teenagers at one point or another, I get it. I just hope you eventually channeled your talent into something productive and not into an art form that relies on defacing community buildings and infrastructure
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Jan 10, 2018 19:07
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