/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Theophany posted:

It's not.

I totally get very few people are like me in that they'll get 20 minutes down a rabbit hole and spend their way out of it on the basis of it being a 'learning experience,' but that's more from an adult life of owning broken cars and being convinced by similar morons on YouTube it's possible and gently caress paying a mechanic.

That being said, cooking is not hard and the �10 it costs for a pan compared to the �10 minimum it's going to cost for a week's worth of trash tier ready made dinners simply doesn't wash. Especially if the argument is borne of cost consciousness. I paid like �30 for my unbranded cast iron Dutch oven, it's given me years of excellent use, still looks basically brand new and so the argument that somebody can't afford �30 for an investment in not buying literal trash just doesn't wash.

Dice an onion: 20p
Dice a carrot: 20p
Dice celery: 70p
Tin of tomatoes: 30p
500g minced beef: �2.50
Tomato paste: 70p
Garlic paste: 70p
Pasta: �1

That's like 2 night's worth of dinners that don't taste like poo poo, are healthy and it's a completely scalable recipe. Hell, I make a months worth of meals for sub �40 and that's overspending in ~exquisite~ ingredients from the supermarket, which are basically the same as the basic stuff but with additional markup.

People making excuses for not having basic cooking skills in this day and age deserve to get poo poo on no less than the fats in any other GBS thread, there is no shortage of excellent newbie friendly cooking resources online.

The fact that you're using � instead of $ shows that you really don't even have the ability to know what the gently caress you're talking about. $30 is enough to break a significant amount of people's budgets over here in The Land Of The Free� and while it's great that you can spend your way out of a "learning experience" a lot of people just loving can't. Until you've had to go put an onion back and get a smaller one because you can't afford it, you don't get to talk.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:02

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# ? May 15, 2024 15:21

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Theophany posted:

It's not.

I totally get very few people are like me in that they'll get 20 minutes down a rabbit hole and spend their way out of it on the basis of it being a 'learning experience,' but that's more from an adult life of owning broken cars and being convinced by similar morons on YouTube it's possible and gently caress paying a mechanic.

That being said, cooking is not hard and the �10 it costs for a pan compared to the �10 minimum it's going to cost for a week's worth of trash tier ready made dinners simply doesn't wash. Especially if the argument is borne of cost consciousness. I paid like �30 for my unbranded cast iron Dutch oven, it's given me years of excellent use, still looks basically brand new and so the argument that somebody can't afford �30 for an investment in not buying literal trash just doesn't wash.

Dice an onion: 20p
Dice a carrot: 20p
Dice celery: 70p
Tin of tomatoes: 30p
500g minced beef: �2.50
Tomato paste: 70p
Garlic paste: 70p
Pasta: �1

That's like 2 night's worth of dinners that don't taste like poo poo, are healthy and it's a completely scalable recipe. Hell, I make a months worth of meals for sub �40 and that's overspending in ~exquisite~ ingredients from the supermarket, which are basically the same as the basic stuff but with additional markup.

People making excuses for not having basic cooking skills in this day and age deserve to get poo poo on no less than the fats in any other GBS thread, there is no shortage of excellent newbie friendly cooking resources online.

OK but lets pretend you aren't broke you can get decent takeout for $7-$14 a night and not deal with cooking or cleanup and it will taste just as good as stuff you make at home if not better.

It's a scale thing, I cook most nights of the week because take out for two is twice as expensive as take out for one and the marginal cost for cooking for two is like nothing once you have dealt with cooking and cleaning and shopping and all that. Like say I wanted a sandwich when I was single, sure I could buy a head of lettuce, an onion both of which are going to be thrown out before I finish them, then ham and cheese I have to buy enough for like a bunch of sandwiches just to make one, then the fancy mustard, etc, etc or I can just pay $9 for a sandwich and be done with it for like a couple of bucks more than making my own and none of the hassle.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:02

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My husband is talking to younger girls.

quote:

This may be entirely the wrong sub but maybe hear me out and I can post it elsewhere I necessary.

My husband (30) and I (28) have been married for 5 years, together for 9. We have had an open relationship for the past three years - talking to, dating, hooking up with others. It has worked for us.

Most of the girls he dated were younger but never worrisome. He was 27 and the youngest was 21. 30 and 22.

In December, he brought up that he was friends with a girl in a game online. Cool! Fun! No... he admitted she was 14. He saw nothing wrong with a 30 and 14 year old talking on Skype at 1 or 2 am. I put a stop to it. Quick. He let me see all the texts. All just friendly. Still. It made me really uncomfortable. Then the month took a horrible turn with a death and I had honestly forgotten the incident.

Until tonight.

I was using his computer and, in the corner, up pops up a facebook message from a girl I don't recognize: "I was hoping this conversation would take this sort of turn." Well, being the big fat snoop that I am, and curious because we always tell each other about new partners, I went to check out her profile. She works with him, okay. She goes to ... high school. I did a double take. Maybe it was wrong?

I went into the messages. It wasn't wrong. He mentioned numerous times how exciting it is for him that she's under 18. They were making plans to hang out, for him to get alcohol, and she would bring the weed. They were discussing kink and how "slutty" she is. She promised him some pictures on Snapchat.

So that's it... a thirty year old man chatting up a high school girl and making plans to meet up with her.

I am. Well, shocked doesn't seem solid enough. Blown away? In denial?

How do I approach this? Do I confront him directly - admitting I looked into his stuff? Do I take steps to distance myself to protect me and our daughter? Do I save screenshots of the conversations? Do I... I don't know. I have no idea how to deal with this.

TL;DR: 30 year old husband making plans to hook up with 16 year old. What the hell do I do?

EDIT:

I have gathered/printed/safely tucked away all evidence I could find. Beyond Facebook messages there is little more I could get to since his phone never leaves his side and Steam doesn't save chat logs. It did reveal he has been 'friendly' chatting with this girl for over six months.

There is overlap with the 14 year old. Which talking to multiple underage girls at once is one of many predatory warning signs or however you want to word it.

I made an appointment for a consult with an attorney later this afternoon. So I have an idea of what to expect and to discuss how best to move forward (contacting parents, police, etc as well as starting to build my custody case.) The age of consent here is 16 but his behavior, this being the second occurrence, offers of buying her alcohol, etc is, to understate it terribly, worrisome.

People have brought up the open relationship a few times. That really isn't the point here. I brought it up as an explanation for why I wasn't freaking out about 'cheating' because he was talking to someone. Rather legitimately upset that my husband is... well. This.

Thank you all for your advice and ideas. I feel really really dumb looking back. Thinking there were signs I must have missed. Wondering why I didn't do more in December. But all I can do is focus on moving forward and protecting those that need it, right?

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:04

Three Olives: Apr 10, 2005; Don't forget Hitler's contributions to medicine.

Patrick Spens posted:

Stop talking about cooking you assholes.

My [26 M] girlfriend [25 F] is accusing me of things I didn't do

How do you touch someone inappropriately that you are in a serious relationship with? I thought by 8 months you pretty much had blanket sexual consent and generally don't need to ask permission for each individual action anymore.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:07

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Patrick Spens posted:

Stop talking about cooking you assholes.

My [26 M] girlfriend [25 F] is accusing me of things I didn't do

Redpill fiction or stdh.txt? The world will never know!

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:09

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

girl pants posted:

fair enough, I guess I've contributed to enough useless derails in my time that I can't really complain.

I hate these people:

I [30F] am so mad at my husband [31 M] right now. Highly anticipated date night gone wrong. Married about 6 years.

I read this whole story to see if she would say 'usually I make plans and wanted him to do it this time" or "I do xyz with him that he likes but knows i'm not into" but instead she just comes across as passive aggressive and unpleasant.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:11

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

La Brea Carpet posted:

My husband is talking to younger girls.

Call the cops, get his rear end sent to jail.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:18

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Three Olives posted:

How do you touch someone inappropriately that you are in a serious relationship with? I thought by 8 months you pretty much had blanket sexual consent and generally don't need to ask permission for each individual action anymore.

Is this a serious question? I mean, I know you're you, but come on dude.

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:19

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Dr. S.O. Feelgood posted:

Is this a serious question? I mean, I know you're you, but come on dude.

are you expressing this in the context of the story or just racing wild hypotheticals in your head that are completely unrelated

# ? Jan 15, 2018 23:21

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

ArbitraryC posted:

I read this whole story to see if she would say 'usually I make plans and wanted him to do it this time" or "I do xyz with him that he likes but knows i'm not into" but instead she just comes across as passive aggressive and unpleasant.

I agree with you that she sounds like a raging bitch but it's like the second line of the post: