Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

G0RF posted:

But he�s got other words for this backer, and in many ways they�re about the truest words ever uttered about the 6 years in development $180 million pre-Alpha.

�Hey, take your poo poo.�

And that, dear friends, is The State of the Game.

Intelligent context sensitive AI that knows how to pick the perfect response to the situation! Where do I buy in!

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:20

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# ? May 21, 2024 16:11

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Beet Wagon posted:

Experience excitement like "Finding place the procedural generation hosed up" in the new NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL CONTENT 42!!

�I think you can fit all of The Elder Scrolls Arena in there.�

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:22

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

G0RF posted:

�I think you can fit all of The Elder Scrolls Arena in there.�

Or even Ben.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:23

Zzr: Oct 6, 2016

SelenicMartian posted:

Or even Ben.

No it's a moon. Wait for a planet to make this assertion. And a gas planet, a telluric won't be enough.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:27

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

lazorexplosion posted:

Intelligent context sensitive AI that knows how to pick the perfect response to the situation! Where do I buy in!

You can join the adventure at RobertsSpaceIndustries.com, and when you do, please use Referral Code T4KE-Y0UR-5H1T to get us both a special bonus!

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:35

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Beet Wagon posted:

Experience excitement like "Finding place the procedural generation hosed up" in the new NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL CONTENT 42!!

that first picture could actually be a cool bit of something to wander around and explore, this huge chasm that obviously wasn't made by natural processes. what was it, terraforming gone bad, an extremely powerful laser that clipped the planet, something else?

so it's no wonder that in true CIG fashion it appears to be completely unintentional and will be removed when the bug is fixed

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:48

One in the Bum: Apr 25, 2014; Hair Elf

Galarox posted:

The chances of 4.0 being released this year are Slim and None... and Slim? Well Slim is right outa town. If the Commandos are lucky they will get 3.1 this year. But don't hold your breath.

If I were Chris, I'd just arbitrarily bump the version number every couple months and call it progress even if gently caress all has changed since the last arbitrary version bump. Version 3.47 by March here we come. Or maybe I'd archer the Firefox numbering scheme and push a new whole number update every 3 to 4 days.

The backers, in addition to never having to know, will proudly proclaim it to be more content than every AAA title releasing in 2018.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 07:01

ComfyPants: Mar 20, 2002

peter gabriel posted:

When I was at art college I had the distinction of being the only person on the fashion module to never thread as much as a single needle or sow a single stitch.
I stapled all the 'clothes' I made with a stapler and said in my presentation it was a commentary on our 'throw away culture' and the disposable of modern fashion. I got really good marks for it and the tutors nodded sagely. In reality I just could not be arsed sewing poo poo, I wanted to do graphic design not that crap.

As someone who also went to school for graphic design, I can completely see this. Half of everything I had critiqued, I made up bullshit deep meanings for them on the spot and got A's.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 07:08

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Milky Moor posted:

and will be removed when the bug is fixed

Ahahaha! They don't do "bug fixing" in SC. This is the game that removed its broken-rear end tutorial instead of fixing it (and got praised for doing so).

# ? Jan 17, 2018 07:44

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

No, seriously, they don't fix bugs. Instead, as they release newer versions of whatever the gently caress, they hope that the bugs go away. If they don't release a new version (see Star Marine, or non-updated ships) then the bugs stay in there forever.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 07:46

Ayn Marx: Dec 21, 2012

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of law

# ? Jan 17, 2018 08:09

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Guard Frequency #197: (9:00) �(Ortwin�s two-sided dealings) not to the level of criminal, but almost to the level of fraud...�

Their brief, semi-speculative take on the Crytek/CIG drama is not likely to win the hearts and minds of the Montoyas out there. Somebody needs to give GF the memo that after CIG�s reply, Crytek became Cry-Rekt.

:smuggo:

# ? Jan 17, 2018 08:11

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Ayn Marx posted:

Cry havoc and let slip the blogs of law

# ? Jan 17, 2018 08:12

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

http://www.player.one/star-citizen-30-female-characters-space-combat-rtv-123109

Choice quotes:

quote:

Roberts says �we�re still building a company and a game,� so there�s still lots of work to be done on a fundamental level.

quote:

3.1 is all about solidifying 3.0 to make it faster. It will have a better main UI and combat UI, fixes for economy exploits and the first phase of the Service Beacon feature. Roberts mentioned a February release for 3.1, but the latest production report says March.

quote:

Blind Jumps: It�s still being decided what do do with those. They�re fine in theory but could potentially be exploited in game-breaking ways. The current warp point system encourages exploration. Blind jumps could return but not for now.

newJesusPatch = oldJesusPatch+1; lots of exploits for things that don't exist yet; company still not ready to begin building a game�

# ? Jan 17, 2018 08:58

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

no_recall posted:

Looks like ED is finally getting their version of CONCORD. Glad of it.

Where is SC's roadmap for TYOOL 2018?

WTF is this list?

So they're kinda, sorta adding piracy but can't explain it, and you can now do pointless missions in groups, for more efficient boredom?

Frontier is autistic as gently caress.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:01

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Galarox posted:

Please excuse me while I kill myself in despair at the human condition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Awf45u6zrP0

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:05

AlmightyPants: Mar 14, 2001; King of Scheduling; Pillbug

Dear Derek,

Thanks for posting pictures of your adorable dog. You should've been doing this the whole time.

When is your dog going to have a playdate with Kayak?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:32

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Tippis posted:

http://www.player.one/star-citizen-30-female-characters-space-combat-rtv-123109

Choice quotes:

newJesusPatch = oldJesusPatch+1; lots of exploits for things that don't exist yet; company still not ready to begin building a game�

It's five years in and there's still "fundamental work" to be done, it's just amazing. Five years and the company is still being "built".

# ? Jan 17, 2018 10:04

Mangoose: Dec 11, 2007; Come out with your pants down!

Scruffpuff posted:

Not too dissimilar to how American Satan handled things.

To be fair, sometimes you have to make tough choices and get rid of useless or low quality features to avoid bloat and to protect the integrity of the final product. I think the producers of that movie made the right call.

Disclaimer: haven't seen it but I am a bit of an expert when it comes to bad movie development due to my many degrees in sciences and lifelong experiences of assorted things since I was a little boy

# ? Jan 17, 2018 10:31

Mangoose: Dec 11, 2007; Come out with your pants down!

G0RF posted:

YOUTUBE: Batgirl’s State of the Game, January 13th

(This is the longest Batgirl SoTG episode I’ve ever seen. Forgive me if I dispense of the first half hour pretty briskly, there is so much here not worth covering and I’m going giving that latter part extra attention.)

It’s over an hour and a half and one of the first things out of her mouth is a statement of confidence that 2018 is going to be an amazing year for Star Citizen.

She starts things off hopping in her much-beloved Mustang and is off in search of adventures, the sort that await a courier accepting a pickup and delivery job a half hour out of town. It’s a riveting experience even for a viewer, just watching her navigate through nothingness for minutes at a time as she races towards the dark side of a barren moon to pick up a box.

Alas, in her nascent encounters with emergent gameplay, a plot complication ensues. Almost a half hour into her mission, the lurking horror slowly, inexorably dawns upon her. She brought the wrong ship! You can’t haul cargo in the Mustang, Batgirl!

She cuts back to Olisar, gets kicked off the terminal a couple times trying to get a ship that can actually carry cargo. Then does the whole corridors to ship to jump to descend to the moon thing again. We are 40 minutes in to the video now and still nothing resembling gameplay has transpired, just lots and lots of monologing. But as she approaches the 40 minute mark, things pick up. She gives her opinions about Pay To Win, then discusses her fury and grief when Bensdays with Batgirl was cancelled. Apparently others complained that Batgirl was getting preferential treatment from CIG via direct access with the Master of Ships.

—> 44:44!

She has found the black box and begins the long jog back to her craft. Futzing ensues until she figures out how to put it down.

She decides to return to the shipwreck and explore. What’s this? Another box?!

Well it looks like this 45 minute long fetch quest sans combat or adventure par excellence just got doubly fun! She picks up yet another box, begins the trek back to her ship, decides to retrieve yet another box!

Welcome my friends to a little thing we call a game loop of emergent gameplay.

“This might take a while folks — sorry about that... but this is FUN!”

Moments later she explains that she parked far away from the shipwreck because she loves walking towards her ship. So get comfortable because she’s going to be doing that marathon for a small eternity a half dozen times.

Yet while she performs this ritual of the highest fidelity mundanity ever unleashed upon the world, she strikes up a conversation with her viewers.

51 minutes in, “So tell me folks... what is the most exciting part of 3.0 for you?” You’re playing it, Batgirl. Oh, but then she asks what the most disappointing aspect of 3.0 has been for viewers, and proceeds to answer the question herself.

She talks about those like her who have long supported the game out of love of Chris Roberts, ”Anything Chris makes turns to gold. Well not always.”

And then, as if she is being tested by the gods of irony, she attempts to lower the gold cargo box she’s been carrying and watches it clip through the floor of her ship.

She goes beneath the ship to retrieve it, musing about the timing of her Chris Roberts praise. She picks it up, carries it inside, and this time it stays. Back to the grind!

Boredom returns for several minutes. She searches further, hoping she might find a dragonfly. Chris did during his Gamescom 2016 playthrough, so it’s not that big a stretch. Then again, do you really think Chris would give away that which he could sell?

Well, this post is already long enough so I’ll spare you too much additional detail on Batgirl’s big mission. Here, an hour and twenty minutes in, is the final punchline. Voiced with two different accents and three different personalities.

I don’t want to give anything away. Sometimes, despite enormous effort and endurance on your part, you can’t.

”This is becoming a nightmare. A nightmare of futility.”

Not one to give up without a fight, Batgirl tries yet again, leaving the station and returning, traipsing through the corridors to once again plead with the NPC who can compensate her for what was surely two hours of her time.

But he’s got other words for this backer, and in many ways they’re about the truest words ever uttered about the 6 years in development $180 million pre-Alpha.

”Hey, take your poo poo.”

And that, dear friends, is The State of the Game.

It's... an... ALPHAAAAAAAAA :argh:

write-up

# ? Jan 17, 2018 11:25

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo7YOX9XqSs

:frogsiren:

# ? Jan 17, 2018 11:45

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

I bet Sandi Gardiner Roberts would love this Mech build

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:29

SomethingJones: Mar 6, 2016; <3

Toops posted:

WTF is this list?

So they're kinda, sorta adding piracy but can't explain it, and you can now do pointless missions in groups, for more efficient boredom?

Frontier is autistic as gently caress.

loving lol, because I watched half an hour of the stream last night and turned it off after arriving at the same exact conclusion you have

I'm glad people are excited for it, really I am, it's a splendid thing in so many ways. But this stuff they talked about is off on ten tangents and doesn't sound intuitive, slick or fun in the slightest.

It's time Elite had some competition.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:52

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Star Citizen being bad is as predictable as a Toops ED meltdown

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:36

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

his nibs posted:

Star Citizen being bad is as predictable as a Toops ED meltdown

I'm beginning to think that David Braben actually raped Toops.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:42

Baxta: Feb 18, 2004; Needs More Pirate

no_recall posted:

Final Numbers are in:

2017-12-22 $68,832
2017-12-23 $188,723
2017-12-24 $190,559
2017-12-25 $152,451
2017-12-26 $147,661
2017-12-27 $149,847
2017-12-28 $141,118
2017-12-29 $143,248
2017-12-30 $128,102
2017-12-31 $135,254
2018-01-01 $105,806
2018-01-02 $108,695
2018-01-03 $100,408
2018-01-04 $95,074
2018-01-05 $100,820
2018-01-06 $127,076
2018-01-07 $114,727
2018-01-08 $109,713
2018-01-09 $77,598
2018-01-10 $64,933
2018-01-11 $56,741
2018-01-12 $62,683
2018-01-13 $44,901
2018-01-14 $66,001
2018-01-15 $69,306

Total : 2.75M

And... holy hell, we have a 4 way tie.
~0.05M
trucutru 2.7
Dogeh 2.7
Baxta 2.8
crisp roberts 2.8

Unrounded:
Tied for first place:
Baxta 2.8
crisp roberts 2.8

Tied for third place
trucutru 2.7
Dogeh 2.7

We need do to some tie breaking, any ideas?

e: Ok here's an idea, Beet / theAgent / Beer, you wish to have the honors of playing Star Citizen on stream (if possible for 30 minutes). Within those 30 minutes if you glitch out and die for whatever reason, Baxta takes first place. If you don't then Crisp Roberts takes first place since his game is good and perfect. Also, If something spectacular happens during those same 30 minutes, tucutru takes 3rd, otherwise it goes to Dogeh. Sounds fair I think?

What is first place I forget.

I demand no one plays Star Citizen.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:45

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

Sunswipe posted:

I'm beginning to think that David Braben actually raped Toops.

Yeah, with his non-consequential PvP :negative:

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:45

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

The inevitable consequence of playing...

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:57

Virtual Captain: Feb 20, 2017; Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.

StarCitizen getting archered?

https://twitter.com/frontierpilotsm/status/953592017153601537

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:04

Baxta: Feb 18, 2004; Needs More Pirate

Virtual Captain posted:

StarCitizen getting archered?

https://twitter.com/frontierpilotsm/status/953592017153601537

Its because Star Citizen is so amazing that others want to copy its because they are jealous and thats why derek smut's games suck because Christ Robins is a GENIOUS and so be patient these things take time you dont understand game development goonie get rekt in space court.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:23

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

That's a no combat game. The feller from the forums should love that.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:37

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

his nibs posted:

Star Citizen being bad is as predictable as a Toops ED meltdown

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:45

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Sunswipe posted:

I'm beginning to think that David Braben actually raped Toops.

Braben pulled a Cosby on the part of my brain that desires fun.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:50

Virtual Captain: Feb 20, 2017; Archive Priest of the Stimperial Order

Star Citizen Good, in all things forevermore. Amen.

Yo Toops CIG is saving incomplete player data straight to the persistent database:

quote:

How to Avoid Ping Pong Ball of Death Bug
Basically, it seems that the account-bound bug happens when you try to spam the "Save and Equip" button when the mobiglass UI is not fully loaded in. It also happens more easily on crowded servers. So to avoid it, wait a few seconds after any loadout change (for the mobiglass to fully load in), and then only hit the button once.

lol

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:58

Bofast: Feb 21, 2011; Grimey Drawer

The Titanic posted:

Or is it the You must have a platinum account to read this to engage the You must have a platinum account to read this and You must have a platinum account to read this great!

*wink wink nudge nudge*

Normally, your posts are pretty much smooth sailing, but this was honestly about as discrete as a cruise ship ramming an iceberg. Platinum tags are there for a reason :colbert:

AP posted:

https://twitter.com/ST6DanielNL/status/952891023079956481

But 3.0 can hardly even maintain the framerate of TNG on VHS tapes

# ? Jan 17, 2018 14:59

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

Virtual Captain posted:

Yo Toops CIG is saving incomplete player data straight to the persistent database:

lol

What is the absolute kicker is that these things are happening not on a server that is screaming along with 100+ 1000+ players, but 5....

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:00

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Galarox posted:

om nom nom nom, amirite?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:19

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

godspeed, streetroller

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:24

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

Sunswipe posted:

I'm beginning to think that David Braben actually raped Toops.

It was just a bad date and Braben isn't used to Toops.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:29

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# ? May 21, 2024 16:11

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

boviscopophobic posted:

https://giant.gfycat.com/GrandioseSpicyElectriceel.mp4

Needs a voiceover of Crobbles describing the high fidelity flight system.

There's something beautiful in the pivot point being the plane intersection, and it hunting for another one.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:31

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