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BluesShaman
Apr 25, 2016

She wore Blue Velvet.

Dusty Lens posted:

CIG is selling a subscriber only mousepad that's straight up just a bunch of untextured models.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/Whitleys-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special/Whitley-s-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special

This can't be real. I'm being tricked. Is this real? This can't be real. $16 w/ $15 shipping.



Why is it so long? Or... why is it so narrow?

$31

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peter gabriel
Nov 8, 2011

Hello Commandos

BluesShaman posted:

Why is it so long? Or... why is it so narrow?

$31

It's because CIG are idiots

Raskolnikov
Nov 25, 2003

G0RF posted:

YOUTUBE: Batgirl’s State of the Game, January 13th

(This is the longest Batgirl SoTG episode I’ve ever seen. Forgive me if I dispense of the first half hour pretty briskly, there is so much here not worth covering and I’m going giving that latter part extra attention.)

It’s over an hour and a half and one of the first things out of her mouth is a statement of confidence that 2018 is going to be an amazing year for Star Citizen.

She starts things off hopping in her much-beloved Mustang and is off in search of adventures, the sort that await a courier accepting a pickup and delivery job a half hour out of town. It’s a riveting experience even for a viewer, just watching her navigate through nothingness for minutes at a time as she races towards the dark side of a barren moon to pick up a box.

Alas, in her nascent encounters with emergent gameplay, a plot complication ensues. Almost a half hour into her mission, the lurking horror slowly, inexorably dawns upon her. She brought the wrong ship! You can’t haul cargo in the Mustang, Batgirl!

She cuts back to Olisar, gets kicked off the terminal a couple times trying to get a ship that can actually carry cargo. Then does the whole corridors to ship to jump to descend to the moon thing again. We are 40 minutes in to the video now and still nothing resembling gameplay has transpired, just lots and lots of monologing. But as she approaches the 40 minute mark, things pick up. She gives her opinions about Pay To Win, then discusses her fury and grief when Bensdays with Batgirl was cancelled. Apparently others complained that Batgirl was getting preferential treatment from CIG via direct access with the Master of Ships.

—> 44:44!
:chanpop:

She has found the black box and begins the long jog back to her craft. Futzing ensues until she figures out how to put it down.

She decides to return to the shipwreck and explore. What’s this? Another box?!

Well it looks like this 45 minute long fetch quest sans combat or adventure par excellence just got doubly fun! She picks up yet another box, begins the trek back to her ship, decides to retrieve yet another box!

Welcome my friends to a little thing we call a game loop of emergent gameplay.

“This might take a while folks — sorry about that... but this is FUN!”

Moments later she explains that she parked far away from the shipwreck because she loves walking towards her ship. So get comfortable because she’s going to be doing that marathon for a small eternity a half dozen times.

Yet while she performs this ritual of the highest fidelity mundanity ever unleashed upon the world, she strikes up a conversation with her viewers.

51 minutes in, “So tell me folks... what is the most exciting part of 3.0 for you?” You’re playing it, Batgirl. Oh, but then she asks what the most disappointing aspect of 3.0 has been for viewers, and proceeds to answer the question herself.


She talks about those like her who have long supported the game out of love of Chris Roberts, ”Anything Chris makes turns to gold. Well not always.”

And then, as if she is being tested by the gods of irony, she attempts to lower the gold cargo box she’s been carrying and watches it clip through the floor of her ship.


She goes beneath the ship to retrieve it, musing about the timing of her Chris Roberts praise. She picks it up, carries it inside, and this time it stays. Back to the grind!

Boredom returns for several minutes. She searches further, hoping she might find a dragonfly. Chris did during his Gamescom 2016 playthrough, so it’s not that big a stretch. Then again, do you really think Chris would give away that which he could sell?

Well, this post is already long enough so I’ll spare you too much additional detail on Batgirl’s big mission. Here, an hour and twenty minutes in, is the final punchline. Voiced with two different accents and three different personalities.

I don’t want to give anything away. Sometimes, despite enormous effort and endurance on your part, you can’t.

”This is becoming a nightmare. A nightmare of futility.”

Not one to give up without a fight, Batgirl tries yet again, leaving the station and returning, traipsing through the corridors to once again plead with the NPC who can compensate her for what was surely two hours of her time.

But he’s got other words for this backer, and in many ways they’re about the truest words ever uttered about the 6 years in development $180 million pre-Alpha.

”Hey, take your poo poo.”

And that, dear friends, is The State of the Game.

I really enjoyed this post. It's such a well written tale of tedium and creeping despair.

lowbar
Apr 1, 2016

Dusty Lens posted:

CIG is selling a subscriber only mousepad that's straight up just a bunch of untextured models.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/Whitleys-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special/Whitley-s-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special

This can't be real. I'm being tricked. Is this real? This can't be real. $16 w/ $15 shipping.



At least that ship has built in curb feelers.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

peter gabriel posted:

It's because CIG are idiots

Shut up you heretic. This is a AAAAA game. Two of them exact and most everyone who hasn't hacked it (such as yourself) would agree.

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

BluesShaman posted:

Why is it so long? Or... why is it so narrow?

$31

Imagine one of those "there has to be a better way" videos where someone is typing an email to their gran and suddenly their keyboard is flying through the window because the nailed that lol a little too hard.

It's a mousepad for your keyboard.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry
Actually, in one of Ben's really old tweets he mentioned that it was a body pillow but the english to chinese translation hosed up so they got those really long pads instead. Something to do with imperial to metric.

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

BluesShaman posted:

Why is it so long? Or... why is it so narrow?

$31

It's a gamepad for people with at least 3 monitors, like most citizens.

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

$15 with $16 shipping means $30 and you'll get it in a few months maybe.

Truga
May 4, 2014
Lipstick Apathy
i think you're supposed to also have your keyboard on that

bandaid.friend
Apr 25, 2017

:obama:My first car was a stick:obama:

Dusty Lens posted:

Imagine one of those "there has to be a better way" videos where someone is typing an email to their gran and suddenly their keyboard is flying through the window because the nailed that lol a little too hard.

It's a mousepad for your keyboard.

I use a keyboard pad, it reduces the noise of typing a little bit

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat
It's a mouse pad for people who do not like to play twitch style games. Like anything other than Euro TruckerTM.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat
I'm still using my Mechwarrior (III or Mercenaries) that I got for free when I bought the game.

AbstractNapper
Jun 5, 2011

I can help

BluesShaman posted:

Why is it so long? Or... why is it so narrow?

$31

You have to buy 3 and place them one next to the other so that it creates a proper mouse-pad, albeit a bit huge.

Anyway, the point is don't just buy one. Be a winner and buy 3 or more.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Dusty Lens posted:

CIG is selling a subscriber only mousepad that's straight up just a bunch of untextured models.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/Whitleys-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special/Whitley-s-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special

This can't be real. I'm being tricked. Is this real? This can't be real. $16 w/ $15 shipping.


Whitey's guide?

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry

SelenicMartian posted:

Whitey's guide?

Armstrong Whitworth Whitley

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

SelenicMartian posted:

Whitey's guide?

They are tying to make a fake "Jane's guide" thing.

monkeytek
Jun 8, 2010

It wasn't an ELE that wiped out the backer funds. It was Tristan Timothy Taylor.

Hav posted:

I still regularly hear that buttcoin is a way to democratize money from people who seem vaguely unaware that commerce has a history that goes back *over fifty years* and someone keeps floating an alternate bourse because bubbles are how you make phat stacks.

Now blockchain itself is interesting, but people are running into the problem that you have to trust the base model and gently caress me we're back to a trust model with a hinky verification step. No, don't bother trying, I've sat through enough conferences to know that the underlining thing is interesting, but the smoke and loving mirrors are in full force.


They weren't the only sketchy hardware outfit that lit out with cash, IIRC, but they were the biggest. Pre-kickstarter, too, so they got hosed on the technicality of promising a product and recklessly throwing around the word 'preorder'.

I'm almost certain a couple (few) hedge funds are the ones that have ultimately caused these run ups in bitcoin and its descendants. The hedge funds unlike the multitude realize bitcoin is not really a currency, currencies need stability to be an effective means of tender. No one wants to use bitcoin if maybe it will be worth another $1000 by lunch time on the opposite side no vendor wants to sell something if the payment devalues by 30% in a month. Right now BTC is simply a mechanism to extract huge sums of money from extremely gullible "investors" who've recently jumped on the bandwagon.

Long story short; buy my new ICO SanDIBits

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming

G0RF posted:

YOUTUBE: Batgirl’s State of the Game, January 13th

(This is the longest Batgirl SoTG episode I’ve ever seen. Forgive me if I dispense of the first half hour pretty briskly, there is so much here not worth covering and I’m going giving that latter part extra attention.)

It’s over an hour and a half and one of the first things out of her mouth is a statement of confidence that 2018 is going to be an amazing year for Star Citizen.

She starts things off hopping in her much-beloved Mustang and is off in search of adventures, the sort that await a courier accepting a pickup and delivery job a half hour out of town. It’s a riveting experience even for a viewer, just watching her navigate through nothingness for minutes at a time as she races towards the dark side of a barren moon to pick up a box.

Alas, in her nascent encounters with emergent gameplay, a plot complication ensues. Almost a half hour into her mission, the lurking horror slowly, inexorably dawns upon her. She brought the wrong ship! You can’t haul cargo in the Mustang, Batgirl!

She cuts back to Olisar, gets kicked off the terminal a couple times trying to get a ship that can actually carry cargo. Then does the whole corridors to ship to jump to descend to the moon thing again. We are 40 minutes in to the video now and still nothing resembling gameplay has transpired, just lots and lots of monologing. But as she approaches the 40 minute mark, things pick up. She gives her opinions about Pay To Win, then discusses her fury and grief when Bensdays with Batgirl was cancelled. Apparently others complained that Batgirl was getting preferential treatment from CIG via direct access with the Master of Ships.

—> 44:44!
:chanpop:

She has found the black box and begins the long jog back to her craft. Futzing ensues until she figures out how to put it down.

She decides to return to the shipwreck and explore. What’s this? Another box?!

Well it looks like this 45 minute long fetch quest sans combat or adventure par excellence just got doubly fun! She picks up yet another box, begins the trek back to her ship, decides to retrieve yet another box!

Welcome my friends to a little thing we call a game loop of emergent gameplay.

“This might take a while folks — sorry about that... but this is FUN!”

Moments later she explains that she parked far away from the shipwreck because she loves walking towards her ship. So get comfortable because she’s going to be doing that marathon for a small eternity a half dozen times.

Yet while she performs this ritual of the highest fidelity mundanity ever unleashed upon the world, she strikes up a conversation with her viewers.

51 minutes in, “So tell me folks... what is the most exciting part of 3.0 for you?” You’re playing it, Batgirl. Oh, but then she asks what the most disappointing aspect of 3.0 has been for viewers, and proceeds to answer the question herself.


She talks about those like her who have long supported the game out of love of Chris Roberts, ”Anything Chris makes turns to gold. Well not always.”

And then, as if she is being tested by the gods of irony, she attempts to lower the gold cargo box she’s been carrying and watches it clip through the floor of her ship.


She goes beneath the ship to retrieve it, musing about the timing of her Chris Roberts praise. She picks it up, carries it inside, and this time it stays. Back to the grind!

Boredom returns for several minutes. She searches further, hoping she might find a dragonfly. Chris did during his Gamescom 2016 playthrough, so it’s not that big a stretch. Then again, do you really think Chris would give away that which he could sell?

Well, this post is already long enough so I’ll spare you too much additional detail on Batgirl’s big mission. Here, an hour and twenty minutes in, is the final punchline. Voiced with two different accents and three different personalities.

I don’t want to give anything away. Sometimes, despite enormous effort and endurance on your part, you can’t.

”This is becoming a nightmare. A nightmare of futility.”

Not one to give up without a fight, Batgirl tries yet again, leaving the station and returning, traipsing through the corridors to once again plead with the NPC who can compensate her for what was surely two hours of her time.

But he’s got other words for this backer, and in many ways they’re about the truest words ever uttered about the 6 years in development $180 million pre-Alpha.

”Hey, take your poo poo.”

And that, dear friends, is The State of the Game.

Compelling gameplay isn't a loop, it's a culdesac

Hav
Dec 11, 2009

Fun Shoe

monkeytek posted:

I'm almost certain a couple (few) hedge funds are the ones that have ultimately caused these run ups in bitcoin and its descendants. The hedge funds unlike the multitude realize bitcoin is not really a currency, currencies need stability to be an effective means of tender. No one wants to use bitcoin if maybe it will be worth another $1000 by lunch time on the opposite side no vendor wants to sell something if the payment devalues by 30% in a month. Right now BTC is simply a mechanism to extract huge sums of money from extremely gullible "investors" who've recently jumped on the bandwagon.

Long story short; buy my new ICO SanDIBits

You can just about see the fourth wave being primed.

Cryptocurrencies are lovely commodities with a cheap wrapper.

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Hav posted:

the fourth wave being primed.

We're nearly there.

Prepare your limbs.

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Dusty Lens posted:

CIG is selling a subscriber only mousepad that's straight up just a bunch of untextured models.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/pledge/Whitleys-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special/Whitley-s-Guide-Mousepad-Subscriber-Special

This can't be real. I'm being tricked. Is this real? This can't be real. $16 w/ $15 shipping.



Star Citizen is a Mousepad Subscription Service

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Lladre posted:

They are tying to make a fake "Jane's guide" thing.


In all fairness, Jane's could also be called Whitey's Guide

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010





Total count for use of "alpha" in that thread: 47 and growing

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

Virtual Captain posted:

Yo Toops CIG is saving incomplete player data straight to the persistent database:


lol

Bmac32
Nov 25, 2012

SomethingJones posted:

Calling All Devs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNZwjLSPZMc

Q:
How many land claim licenses will fit on a planet or moon?

Dave Haddock:
Uhm... that is a... very good question, uh... we have... when we were actually doing the um... sort of, the... the BUILD to the... um... the... the ANNIVERSARY SALE like that... there's a lot of conversations about like these LAND CLAIMS and stuff like that, and I... I remember, um... in one of the conversations talking with... with TONY, uh... that... apparently, based off of every single Star Citizen... uh... like... getting one of the big ESTATE pieces... uh, if every single one of them got one they still wouldn't be able to fill up a single planet.

1.9 million Star Citizens wouldn't be able to fill a single planet. That's the calculation.

First off, great work sitting through that word salad. Do they all take lessons on mushmouthing or what?

And I loved this question. If you watch, Dave says they can fit all the citizens on one planet, but gives no numbers. It's Lando that tosses out the 1.9 million number and Dave specifically does not verify that. You can see it in his face that its far from the actual number he's working with.

Contingency
Jun 2, 2007

MURDERER

I remember in the BF3 beta when your XP earned was reported by the client to the stats DB, so people were giving themselves millions of XP. If CIG is using a similarly bad design, doubt it'd take long for people to figure out how to grant themselves in-game ships.

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Hav posted:

You can just about see the fourth wave being primed.

Cryptocurrencies are lovely commodities with a cheap wrapper.

What happened to the log charts?

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Just mousing through the give us your cash for ship equipment store and noticed that a basic pistol is $10, making it more expensive than some of their giant vehicle mounted space cannons. A true lore driven simulated universe.

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/voyager-direct/Lh-Handgun/Gemini-L86

e;

https://robertsspaceindustries.com/voyager-direct/Talon-Typhoon/Typhoon-IX

Apparently I can buy a $70 missile.

Whitey's guide gives both a 0/5. CIG guy please remind Ben that he technically still has work to do while he's molting in his office.

Dusty Lens fucked around with this message at 19:42 on Jan 17, 2018

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Contingency posted:

I remember in the BF3 beta when your XP earned was reported by the client to the stats DB, so people were giving themselves millions of XP. If CIG is using a similarly bad design, doubt it'd take long for people to figure out how to grant themselves in-game ships.
Similarly, by cleverly editing some files in my own brain I can hack Star Citizen into being fun and good.

trucutru
Jul 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Contingency posted:

I remember in the BF3 beta when your XP earned was reported by the client to the stats DB, so people were giving themselves millions of XP. If CIG is using a similarly bad design, doubt it'd take long for people to figure out how to grant themselves in-game ships.

They already know how to get multiple copies of the same ship. In that xxSilentRuinxx thread that was posted a few days ago where he was defending the insurance countdown timers and why CIG shouldn't change them, one of his arguments was that you should inform yourself about the bugs to clone ships so that you don't get bothered by the timer.

That argument is outlandish enough to convince me there is indeed a way to get multiple copies of the ships you already own.

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Contingency posted:

I remember in the BF3 beta when your XP earned was reported by the client to the stats DB, so people were giving themselves millions of XP. If CIG is using a similarly bad design, doubt it'd take long for people to figure out how to grant themselves in-game ships.


A few years back someone was editing xml to put impossible guns on ships in arena commando and owning everyone and tears were flowing

Dementropy
Aug 23, 2010



Pash
Sep 10, 2009

The First of the Adorable Dead
I'm not up to date with this ship insurance stuff... but am I reading this correct that if you don't have the ever counting down insurance and blow up the ship you bought with real money then you lose it... In the Alpha? Where bugs are liable to just blow your ship up? If so :psyduck:

Strangler 42
Jan 8, 2007

SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

Exclusive tee shirts for people that already paid thousands? The hell you say

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

Thoatse posted:

In all fairness, Jane's could also be called Whitey's Guide

ZING!
:five:

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

hot balls man no homo posted:

Exclusive tee shirts for people that already paid thousands? The hell you say

I saaaaid, they will be made available for purchase!

MedicineHut
Feb 25, 2016

Re Crytek suit, I presume Skadden can also opt not to reply to CIG´s defense if they consider there are slim chances of a dismissal, correct? The judge will be ultimately deciding on dismissing or not either way.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

hot balls man no homo posted:

Exclusive tee shirts for people that already paid thousands? The hell you say

No no. Exclusive IN GAME tee shirts for people that already paid thousands.

Somehow even sadder then real tee shirts.

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Pixelate
Jan 6, 2018

"You win by having fun"

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