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Khorne
May 1, 2002

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (31M) dad (64M) killed my mother (61F) 11 months ago in an act of self defense. My sister (26F) refuses to believe it was self defense, and now is refusing to talk to me. I pay my sisters bills for the most part, and I don't know if I should continue if she is going to not talk to me.


In the comments, he states over and over again that he will not stop giving her money.
Your sister and your mother are too similar. Don't be like your dumbass dad. Stop paying for her poo poo and turn your back on her. Don't tolerate highly manipulative people.

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Dunning Krugerrand
Dec 23, 2015

purestrain pyrite



ArbitraryC posted:

I don't think we've ever seen a post where a dude was upset his girl was fingerblasting herself, seems to go consistently one way.

if you squint hard enough you might be able to find a hyper religious guy or something

You just aren't searching for the right terms. "Vibrator" brings forth a wealth of frothing male insecurity.

Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] for 1.5 years, I bought a vibrator and he is really mad at me.

quote:

So I'll get right to the point- Our sex life isn't that great. For some reason sex hurts me A LOT. He has been so patient with me which is amazing and I always let him know how much I appreciate it. I read about some exercises I can try to make it hurt less, but fingering myself is really uncomfortable.

The other day I was at the mall and I came across vibrators. I started thinking about how much it sucks that I'm not comfortable with my own body, and how much I wish we can finally start enjoying sex. I thought it might help me learn to be more comfortable with masturbating, and eventually make it less painful to have sex. This way we can both start enjoying it and he wouldn't have to wait anymore. So I went ahead and bought it.

When I showed it to him while we were video chatting (we're in a long distance relationship while he dorms at school) , he got really mad. He said that he's not comfortable with it and basically he doesn't want me to use it. He says he wants sex to be just between us, not "some plastic piece of poo poo" (in his words). He basically went on and on and on about how I'm finding a substitute for him and how disgusting it is, and how I got it because I'm not satisfied with him. He said I'm lying about my reason, and that the only reason I want it is because I just want to feel good.

So trying to explain my reasoning and how it will benefit both of us wasn't working. So I told him that there is no difference between watching porn and using a vibrator using that logic. I told him that I'm sorry he feels that way, but I am still going to use it and he has to get used to it. Que more ranting.

The last thing he said to me (which he had been repeating throughout his rant) was that if I go ahead and use it, he will no longer have respect for all the patience he has had with our sex life (I'm not sure what he means by this). He said all his patience and respect will go down the drain. Once I use it, he says he will no longer be patient with me.

I don't know what to do at this point.

tl;dr: My boyfriend is mad that I bought a vibrator and says he will no longer be patient with me.

EDIT: Thank you for all the comments and messages from everyone-you guys are awesome. I asked him to clarify what he means when he says he will no longer be patient. He said that when it hurts he'll stop but he will be really mad about it. (???) He said that the vibrator better work or else he won't be patient when it hurts anymore.

EDIT 2: To clarify again, he doesn't mean he wants to physically hurt me or force me to do something that is painful. He means that next time we try, if it hurts me he will stop but won't be understanding and will be mad about it. Still not okay, but it is an important distinction.

Once again, thank you guys so much for all the advice!

My [21 F] boyfriend [20 M] of six months doesn't like me using a vibrator during sex, but it's the only way I can orgasm

quote:

This is obviously nsfw.

I can't orgasm easily without a vibrator. With fingers, it takes about 20-40 minutes of continuous stimulation, and even then it works less than half of the time. I don't orgasm from oral, I don't orgasm from penetration. The only thing that has seemed to help is getting a vibrator, and I'm so happy that I'm finally able to have orgasms and experience sexual pleasure at its fullest. Just to be clear, it's always been like this. It's not like I used to be able to orgasm from other things but became dependent on the vibrator. I'd had maybe 5 orgasms in my entire life before I bought my first vibrator when I turned 18, and that changed everything. With the vibrator I can orgasm about 75% of the time when I masturbate and 90% of the time during sex.

My boyfriend doesn't get it, though. He feels inadequate and takes my inability to orgasm very personally. He has literally sat there for a full hour just rubbing me until it hurts, trying to get me off. Yet, when I use the vibrator during sex, I can usually orgasm too with very little effort. I'd think this would make him happy, but he says he doesn't think it's "natural" or "fair." I've tried explaining to him that I'm not replacing him with a vibrator. If I just wanted my vibrator, I'd masturbate. I have sex with him using the vibrator because the vibrator makes sex more pleasurable, and the sex makes the vibrations more pleasurable. It seems like a win-win to me, but I've stopped using it during sex because he acts annoyed and pissed off every time I reach for it. I also tried asking him how he would feel if he had erectile dysfunction and I told him he wasn't allowed to use viagra because I should be enough to get him hard, and he said it wasn't the same.

I'm not sure what to do here. I feel like I deserve to orgasm during sex, and if he's not willing to let me do that, then we aren't sexually compatible. I just wish I could help him feel less insecure, because the sex is really great and our relationship itself is otherwise great. Even without the vibrator the sex is pretty great, but I can't orgasm from it, and it seems kind of unfair to me that my boyfriend can have that every single time but he's okay with me not having that.

In case you're wondering, yes, I've talked to a gyno about these issues. She basically said that everything down there looks normal, and some women just have trouble orgasming so I'll have to deal with it.

tl;dr: I need a vibrator to orgasm, boyfriend doesn't like that and wants me to stop using it during sex

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi

empty sea posted:

I really want to know how long she had that picture of the actress he complimented just sitting in that drawer. When did they see that movie? A week ago? A month? 6 months? Were there more strategically placed pictures?

Also you guys should get into numerology. I'm a 7, which means I'm an intellectual and a physic :smug:.

where do I see what the numbers mean? pretty sure im a 6

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Brother Entropy posted:

my sex life is like the game gear: it goes through a lot of batteries

It helps to have a magnifier peripheral bolted on

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

You just aren't searching for the right terms. "Vibrator" brings forth a wealth of frothing male insecurity.

Me [18 F] with my boyfriend [18 M] for 1.5 years, I bought a vibrator and he is really mad at me.


My [21 F] boyfriend [20 M] of six months doesn't like me using a vibrator during sex, but it's the only way I can orgasm

In fact I think both of these were already posted ITT as well as at least one Putney example of a dude being an idiot about his girl wanting to Jill off or touch herself during sex so I am not site what ArbC is talking about.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Dunning Krugerrand posted:

You just aren't searching for the right terms. "Vibrator" brings forth a wealth of frothing male insecurity.
My [21 F] boyfriend [20 M] of six months doesn't like me using a vibrator during sex, but it's the only way I can orgasm

Easiest solution is to pay for your bf to get a vibrator implanted in his dick so he can feel adequate again. Also: :sever:.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (31M) dad (64M) killed my mother (61F) 11 months ago in an act of self defense. My sister (26F) refuses to believe it was self defense, and now is refusing to talk to me. I pay my sisters bills for the most part, and I don't know if I should continue if she is going to not talk to me.


In the comments, he states over and over again that he will not stop giving her money.

quote:

She told me I could go kill myself, that I am a loving terrible person, that I never loved mom etc. After that we just never talked.

Sounds like if you stop giving her money this problem will solve itself.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

coronatae posted:

The post I found wasn’t exactly as I remembered it but I knew the phrase “Satan shitplane” was involved so here it is:

Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?


[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?


And the conclusion...

Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point

Honestly this will always be the best for me. No matter what else happens in this thread, I'll always remember three stories:

1. The screaming crazy masturbating girl

2. The vegetable sodomizer

3. Berth ell pup

Trimson Grondag 3
Jul 1, 2007

Clapping Larry
honestly the guy who raised his asian adopted son with lots of chinese values so he'd know about his home country etc and then found out he was korean is my favourite. who cares about insane mastubators when you have someone who's entire upbringing was a mistake

this guy:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=1390&perpage=40#post474173679

Trimson Grondag 3 fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Jan 24, 2018

Streak
May 16, 2004

by Nyc_Tattoo

Pick posted:

That you are smart but will never be able to successfully apply it because everyone thinks you're a jerk.

Its me

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Trimson Grondag 3 posted:

honestly the guy who raised his asian adopted son with lots of chinese values so he'd know about his home country etc and then found out he was korean is my favourite. who cares about insane mastubators when you have someone who's entire upbringing was a mistake

this guy:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&pagenumber=1390&perpage=40#post474173679

Oh my God, it’s like those ancestry.com ads where those super white dinguses go ‘we were so proud of our Irish heritage, I took my dad to Dublin after he retired. Then I checked ancestry.com and it turns out we’re Scottish!’ *Cuts to dumbass and his dad wearing kilts* but like, a million times worse.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

therobit posted:

In fact I think both of these were already posted ITT as well as at least one Putney example of a dude being an idiot about his girl wanting to Jill off or touch herself during sex so I am not site what ArbC is talking about.

I was specifically referring to the partner super weird about porn usage thing.

dude's upset they can't please their girlfriends without mechanical assistance are a separate but also sadly funny set of posts.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde
The Hitachi Magic Wand is basically an orgasm button. If you are somewhat lazy you can use it to still get your lady to the stage where she's totally incomprehensible and making mewling noises and then it moves on to the giggles.

Pro tip: have her hold it. It leaves your hands free to do other things she likes.


So, in conclusion, these guys are completely stupid.

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




0. Pete

chitoryu12 posted:

Honestly this will always be the best for me. No matter what else happens in this thread, I'll always remember three stories:

1. The screaming crazy masturbating girl

2. The vegetable sodomizer

3. Berth ell pup

Kazzah
Jul 15, 2011

Formerly known as
Krazyface
Hair Elf
I've been meaning to ask, what the gently caress is Pete?

Streak
May 16, 2004

by Nyc_Tattoo

Krazyface posted:

I've been meaning to ask, what the gently caress is Pete?

A king among men

Peaceful Anarchy
Sep 18, 2005
sXe
I am the math man.

Krazyface posted:

I've been meaning to ask, what the gently caress is Pete?
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=6#post464825137
The rare person who knows when to get out of a relationship with no second guessing or drama (on his part).
The part he's remembered for

quote:

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me!

I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye."

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender
Parents (50F and 54M) require children to provide specific personal information (30F and 25F)

quote:

TL;DR Parents upset that adult daughters arent being open with them about personal information. How much information are you comfortable sharing with your parents? As adults has the information you share decreased (or increased)?

My sister (25) recently started seeing someone new. She hesitated to tell my parents for a bit (a few months) but eventually did. My sister gave some basic information to them but didnt provide the new boyfriend's whole life story. My parents (50F and 54M) became extremely upset that she withheld information they find necessary (e.g. job history). My mom became especially upset and started harassing me for personal information that she believed my sister shared with me. I didn't tell her anything about the situation and suggested that when my sister was ready to talk she would.

For the record: from everything I can tell the guy is a good and normal person (no jail history, etc). My sister provided his name so if my parents were concerned they could look him up themselves.

My parents spent the weekend having tense conversations with my sister and then brought the conversation to social media. My sister reached out to me to ask mom and dad to remove the post (I have a marginally better relationship with them). I called my mom and asked her to remove the post because my sister was upset. My mom then proceeded to tell me that all parents did this and that we were being "too delicate".

Now my mom won't speak to either of us until we have a conference call and apologize. My dad has called my sister upset (yelling) several times this week. They are saying that it is inappropriate to withhold information from them and their reaction is consistent with other parents.

I don't think it's necessary to tell my parents everything happening in my life. Although I have a marginally better relationship with them than my sister , I have encountered similar issues in the past when they felt like I wasn't telling them enough. As an adult I feel like they don't get much of a say anymore.

How much information do you share with your parents about your personal life? Has that changed as you aged? Is it normal for parents to react this way when adult children start making their own decisions?

Update: my sister and I are discussing next steps. She is terrified that this will hurt her relationship with them (and she's not looking forward to the blowback). I'm not worried, just sick of feeling obligated to act like we are still living with them. I appreciate all of the feedback and support.

Dear Prudence
Sep 3, 2012

Feel two ways about that. On one hand, the parents are nosy. On the other hand, it didn't seem like they were asking about anything intimate.

burial
Sep 13, 2002

actually, that won't be necessary.

Dear Prudence posted:

Feel two ways about that. On one hand, the parents are nosy. On the other hand, it didn't seem like they were asking about anything intimate.

I don’t know, job history isn’t that intimate on the surface, but you know it’s a tool they’re going to use to evaluate what level of disdain to have for the guy/their daughter. Unless it’s somehow exactly what they want it to be, if that’s even a thing. I get why she might not want to give them too much ammunition.

I mean, this is how crazy they’re being WITHOUT the details.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

Gee, I can’t possibly imagine why this woman has a strained relationship with her parents and doesn’t immediately tell them what’s going on in her life. It’s a real mystery.

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

coronatae posted:

The post I found wasn’t exactly as I remembered it but I knew the phrase “Satan shitplane” was involved so here it is:

Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?


[UPDATE] Girlfriend [24/f] masturbates to the same thing I do to get back at me [26/m]?


And the conclusion...

Long-awaited update about this psycho b who masturbated to my porn to prove some twisted point

Very entertaining. Life is funny.

i say swears online
Mar 4, 2005

reposted by goodluck jonathan's sister in law

nigerian social media is loving weird

:nws:

https://www.facebook.com/RMF18plus/posts/1747790988629508

:nws:

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Me [31 M] with my girlfriend [31 F] of 8 months, my girlfriend is uncomfortable with my strap-on/dildo use.

quote:

So, this will take a little explaining, but here's the short of it: I own several dildos that I've accumulated over the years, and I like to suck on them as a means of relieving stress. I discovered that I enjoy dildos and strap-ons a couple relationships ago, and eventually came to realize that sucking on a dildo centers me and soothes my nerves.

My girlfriend absolutely hates it and has threatened to leave me over this. I'm having trouble reading how serious she is when she says it. Is there an easy way to defuse the situation? Is this that strange? Can I make her see this as normal?

tl;dr: Like to suck strap-ons. Need to convince girlfriend this is OK.

quote:

You mean as a sexual thing?

OP posted:

Nope! This isn't sexual. I just like to suck on dildos to relax me. It's more of an absentminded thing to do when brainstorming or daydreaming or whatever.

I usually do it alone but sometimes she walks in. That's where the issue comes up. I try to keep it away from her.

Palpek fucked around with this message at 11:05 on Jan 24, 2018

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
im pretty go-along get-along but some things are just loving wierd

Pingiivi
Mar 26, 2010

Straight into the iris!
Dude should just start smoking or something.

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
He should just admit what it is and buy a pacifier

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002




I feel that Eagle Friend Boyfriend and Shoulder Dog Man aren't given enough credit. I mean, they're no Pete, but they're still kings among men.

Streak
May 16, 2004

by Nyc_Tattoo

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (31M) dad (64M) killed my mother (61F) 11 months ago in an act of self defense. My sister (26F) refuses to believe it was self defense, and now is refusing to talk to me. I pay my sisters bills for the most part, and I don't know if I should continue if she is going to not talk to me.

quote:

The reason why my mother was so mad? My mom was going through withdrawal symptoms.

quote:

He said that when she is done, he is leaving her, and that he has been seeing another women for the past 4 months.

:thunk:

Milotic
Mar 4, 2009

9CL apologist
Slippery Tilde
My [18m] girlfriend [23f] of 2 years admitted that she only wanted to date me so she could groom me to “her liking”.

quote:

u/throwawayghana
Update: Girlfriend saw my Reddit post and she wants me to delete it...

Update 2: She is coming over now because she wants to have a serious discussion about our relationship. I don't know what to expect or what she'll say.

My girlfriend told me this yesterday. She cried the whole time. She admitted to only wanting to date me because I was young, and she would have all the power in the relationship. My girlfriend said she liked the idea of leading me through life (aka grooming me to her liking) and being my first for everything.

She started having genuine feelings for me after a month and stopped pursuing this idea. She begged for my forgiveness and said she'd do anything to regain my trust.

I’m in shock about what she told me. I’ve never cried so much before. My life has been turned upside down. I spent my last years of childhood with her. I can’t believe someone I loved and put all my trust in would do this to me. I don’t know if everything we’ve done together means anything anymore. I don’t even know why she would tell this to me.

I don’t know if she is still grooming me. I’m doubting if she actually cares about me. I’ve put so much effort into making her feel loved, and to have all that amount to nothing is a terrible feeling.

TL;DR: My girlfriend admitted she only started a relationship with me because she wanted to groom me to her liking (into her idea of what a perfect boyfriend is).

Dating a 16 year old when she was 21. Nice.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


My[24M] father[50M] is currently dating a woman[47F] I was involved with 2 years ago and I have no idea how to handle this.

quote:

About two years ago I was in a relationship with a much older woman. I met her at work and we immediately hit it off. We started hanging out, met for drinks after work and whatnot and I don't know, it just felt natural. We dated for at least 7 months or so before we both felt that this couldn't work out for a variety of reasons. The main one being our age difference and general life experience.

So we parted ways and even though our relationship was great and we didn't have any issues between us, we felt the need to end it, really amicably I might say. I quit my job shortly after that so I can focus on my studies and after graduating last year, I moved a few towns over since I got a great job opportunity there.

A few days ago, my father called me and asked if I plan on coming home for his 50th birthday. I was out of the country for some time and I missed the holidays so I told him I will be there. He sounded happy by my answer and said that he can't wait. He also said that there is someone he'd like me to meet.

I immediately realised the implication and I was left stunned. I did not expect my father to start dating again after mom. My mother died 5 years ago. She was run over by a drunk driver while she was crossing a sidewalk on her way to work. Her death has been devastating for my family and has left us in ruins. I still miss her every day and I get sad just thinking about her. But father undoubtedly took it the worst.

My mom was the love of his life and he is not the same ever since she passed away. He wasn't in a nice place but he managed to come back to us and we are extremely happy he is enjoying life again. But I never thought he'd start dating again. He never gave an indication that he is looking for someone over the years and this revelation has come as a surprise.

Nevertheless, I was happy for him and I called my younger sister who still lives at home with dad to ask if she has seen this woman. My sister said yes but she said that dad was keeping it a secret for his own reasons. My dad introduced her to the family over Christmas and everyone loved her. She even sent me a picture they took. And that's when my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach.

It was her. The woman I dated 2 years ago. She is the woman my father is currently seeing. I honestly have no idea how this is even possible but in a city of around 60k people, my father met her and started dating her. Because of my story with this woman, I have no idea what can I do now. Do I just pretend I don't know her? Do I tell someone about it? I am about 98% sure she knows that she is dating my father and is probably in the same position as me and I have no idea what do I do about this awkward situation.

tl;dr my father is currently dating a woman I was involved with 2 years ago and I have no idea how to handle this.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016

Palpek posted:

Me [31 M] with my girlfriend [31 F] of 8 months, my girlfriend is uncomfortable with my strap-on/dildo use.

I think I'd be more ok with it if he did suck on them for sexual reasons.

I mean, sucking a silicone dick because you like dicks? Sure, whatever.
Sucking a dick like a baby sucks a pacifier? What the hell man

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax

Milotic posted:

My [18m] girlfriend [23f] of 2 years admitted that she only wanted to date me so she could groom me to “her liking”.


Dating a 16 year old when she was 21. Nice.

This is incredibly gross and I feel really bad for the dude. :smith:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Admiral Ray posted:

Easiest solution is to pay for your bf to get a vibrator implanted in his dick so he can feel adequate again. Also: :sever:.

You can get small vibrators which go under the tongue and work like loving magic.

Fartbox
Apr 27, 2017
What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Halser posted:

I think I'd be more ok with it if he did suck on them for sexual reasons.

I mean, sucking a silicone dick because you like dicks? Sure, whatever.
Sucking a dick like a baby sucks a pacifier? What the hell man

yeah that is fuckin weird as hell

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


Women enjoying sex is an affront to masculinity!!! LOOK AT ME, I'M A REDDIT POSTER AGHHHHHH!

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Milotic posted:

My [18m] girlfriend [23f] of 2 years admitted that she only wanted to date me so she could groom me to “her liking”.

so, she's trying to get out of pedophilia, and what she admits was grooming, by crying

Palpek posted:

My[24M] father[50M] is currently dating a woman[47F] I was involved with 2 years ago and I have no idea how to handle this.

this sounds like the setup for a bad 90s psychological thriller

or a screwball comedy I guess???

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Halser posted:

I think I'd be more ok with it if he did suck on them for sexual reasons.

I mean, sucking a silicone dick because you like dicks? Sure, whatever.
Sucking a dick like a baby sucks a pacifier? What the hell man

Spoiler alert: he likes dicks. He just hasn't admitted it to himself yet.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016

feedmegin posted:

Spoiler alert: he likes dicks. He just hasn't admitted it to himself yet.

we've all been there. I sympathize.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


"Look, I'm not gay, I just really like sucking on dildos and dick like objects"

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