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Demon Of The Fall posted:I hate waking up and taking a piss and all of a sudden my stream is split in two and one is going in the bowl and the other is hitting the floor. You frantically rush to stop but your bladder is so full it's painful and you end up smacking your dick and getting piss all over your hands and ugh its too late, poo poo is already a mess My biggest issue is the surprise "it's coming out 30 degrees off centre" pee. loving hate that.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:01
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cock hero flux posted:if i was paralyzed i would still make the herculean effort required to shift my atrophied husk body into a standing position when it came time to piss Professor X's real backstory revealed at last
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Jan 26, 2018 23:05
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Avenging_Mikon posted:My biggest issue is the surprise "it's coming out 30 degrees off centre" pee. loving hate that. This but it's two streams going in opposite directions and you have to twist sideways to get one down in the bowl and the other one arcing into the sink.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:06
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tactlessbastard posted:Counter point: a baby will never ever come out of one not with that attitude!
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Jan 26, 2018 23:06
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tactlessbastard posted:Counter point: a baby will never ever come out of one Hm. If this is truly the case, I may have inadvertently published some extremely inaccurate fanfiction. Troubling.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:17
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:No it isn't but even if it were, it's full of yummy nutrients for bacteria to feed on and multiply. So once it's lying on a seat/floor it sure isn't sterile. just construct the bathroom like a freeway rest stop so you can just power wash the whole drat thing
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Jan 26, 2018 23:30
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Just piss in your tubs/showers. E: Not just while you're showering, I mean. Just always.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:38
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Does anyone have the pisshoard story handy? The one where his wife found like a thousand bottles o’ pee in the attic?
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Jan 26, 2018 23:40
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tactlessbastard posted:Counter point: a baby will never ever come out of one Unless you're a female hyena, it's still a super bad idea though.
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Jan 26, 2018 23:42
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Does anyone have the pisshoard story handy? The one where his wife found like a thousand bottles o’ pee in the attic? Hahaha don't forget the crusty cum shirts
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Jan 26, 2018 23:49
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My [18F] drug-dealing ex [18M] got arrested and sold me out. Is it justified for my boyfriend [18M] to be mad at me?quote:This is a super messy situation but I'll try to keep it as simple as possible.
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Jan 27, 2018 00:11
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hey internet, i'm a criminal, don't tell ssshhh
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Jan 27, 2018 00:21
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Murder the ex. Cops win, she wins. Another lovely scumbag off this earth. What’s the problem?
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Jan 27, 2018 00:24
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Isn't that basically the plot of orange is the new black?
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Jan 27, 2018 00:30
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American toilets exacerbate the problem by being filled to a couple of inches below the top with water. I found it almost impossible when we lived there to piss standing up without it splashing out of the bowl. Most countries have toilets with a much lower water level so it's more like pissing into a nearly empty bucket rather than a full one.
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Jan 27, 2018 00:44
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Baronjutter posted:Isn't that basically the plot of orange is the new black? It is except the ex is a man and the woman probably isnt smuggling drugs directly for the cartel. Also the boyfriends meltdown that removes him from the story is happening way quicker and it probably wont run out of material two seasons in.
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Jan 27, 2018 00:45
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I imagine you get a lot of splashback in american toilets since you, for some ungodly reason, have so much water in the toilet
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Jan 27, 2018 00:51
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Fartbox posted:I imagine you get a lot of splashback in american toilets since you, for some ungodly reason, have so much water in the toilet I dunk my balls in it all the time.
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Jan 27, 2018 01:15
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LethalGeek posted:Pee after orgasms, problem largely goes away. Yeah but it doesn't stop gunk build up from leakage if your dreams get you going. The safest is pull the hole open a little/wipe with a finger to make sure it's clear before you let rip. Then again it's real easy to forget too because you just woke up. I look at any spillage as bonus cleaning like the guy last page, always see a silver lining.
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Jan 27, 2018 01:20
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtQ0qvNBftw
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Jan 27, 2018 01:22
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Ratzap posted:Yeah but it doesn't stop gunk build up from leakage if your dreams get you going. The safest is pull the hole open a little/wipe with a finger to make sure it's clear before you let rip. Then again it's real easy to forget too because you just woke up. I look at any spillage as bonus cleaning like the guy last page, always see a silver lining. You really want to get a pipe cleaner up in there before you pee, every time
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Jan 27, 2018 01:37
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Fartbox posted:I imagine you get a lot of splashback in american toilets since you, for some ungodly reason, have so much water in the toilet Have you seen American diets? Do you expect a regular toilet to handle that?
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Jan 27, 2018 01:45
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German toilets have a shelf that you can use to inspect your poops before you flush them. Very considerate
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Jan 27, 2018 01:54
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girl pants posted:German toilets have a shelf that you can use to inspect your poops before you flush them. Very considerate There's a German scat fetish joke in there somewhere.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:02
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girl pants posted:German toilets have a shelf that you can use to inspect your poops before you flush them. Very considerate Gotta make a poop sled on the poo poo shelf so it doesn't get stuck
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Jan 27, 2018 02:09
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girl pants posted:German toilets have a shelf that you can use to inspect your poops before you flush them. Very considerate I've never seen a poop shelf toilet and I've been to every European nation that allegedly has them. I have heard, however, that Americans never got the hang of plumbing so they still just use outhouses.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:19
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:I've never seen a poop shelf toilet and I've been to every European nation that allegedly has them. I have heard, however, that Americans never got the hang of plumbing so they still just use outhouses. Only if I'm sober enough to make it all the way to the outhouse.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:24
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Midget Fist posted:American toilets exacerbate the problem by being filled to a couple of inches below the top with water. I found it almost impossible when we lived there to piss standing up without it splashing out of the bowl. Most countries have toilets with a much lower water level so it's more like pissing into a nearly empty bucket rather than a full one. I think whatever American toilet you were using was clogged dude.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:31
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cumshitter posted:I think whatever American toilet you were using was clogged dude. No, nice try but you guys have a lot of water in your toilets. But if there's one thing I have learned after reading this thread from start to finish it's that Americans have a hard time dealing with the idea that things in other countries can be different, maybe even better. Strange ideas like using another word for a familiar object can cause madness.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:51
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:I've never seen a poop shelf toilet and I've been to every European nation that allegedly has them. I have heard, however, that Americans never got the hang of plumbing so they still just use outhouses. My grandparent's farm didn't have indoor plumbing until the late 70's when my mom got married. They were going to have a lot of guests over, so they finally put in a proper bathroom. The two outhouses were torn down a few years ago.
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Jan 27, 2018 02:56
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Midget Fist posted:No, nice try but you guys have a lot of water in your toilets. But if there's one thing I have learned after reading this thread from start to finish it's that Americans have a hard time dealing with the idea that things in other countries can be different, maybe even better. Strange ideas like using another word for a familiar object can cause madness. First off, I am a true American patriot who does not own a passport. Passports are for people who want to willingly leave the country (traitors). If I want to see some dead gay Italian architecture I will go see the superior American made copies at the Bellagio. But seriously I have never seen a bowl that was filled just 1-2 patriotic inches from the brim. You'd be teabagging the toilet if that were the case.
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Jan 27, 2018 03:02
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cumshitter posted:First off, I am a true American patriot who does not own a passport. Passports are for people who want to willingly leave the country (traitors). If I want to see some dead gay Italian architecture I will go see the superior American made copies at the Bellagio. Yeah I should have more accurately stated from the top of the bowl part, not the absolute brim. I'm no toilet-terminology expert though I am often full of poo poo.
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Jan 27, 2018 03:21
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Lol all this pee talk and only like a single person pointed out that chick using "profesh" Also your girlfriend has some bruises from something she enjoys stop being so superficial FFS Also learn to beat the hell out of her like a good girlfriend would
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Jan 27, 2018 04:14
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TheScott2K posted:I just learned to never put the seat up in the first place. It's not hard to aim. That and wiping up any strays leaves a clean toilet and no conflict over the seat position. That way when my father in law leaves the seat up after spraying down the entire bathroom I get none of the blame. The bottom of your seat must be nasty.
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Jan 27, 2018 06:08
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blarzgh posted:Men: sit down to pee. Just pee in the bathtub and rinse it down like a regular person, geez
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Jan 27, 2018 08:53
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Most of you don’t deserve that lesbian dom poly story. It was wasted on you.
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Jan 27, 2018 08:58
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Isn’t it really more of a bisexual sub/masochist poly story anyway?
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Jan 27, 2018 09:14
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sex weirds
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Jan 27, 2018 09:28
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Baronjutter posted:You really want to get a pipe cleaner up in there before you pee, every time I personally never piss without jamming the filler needle from a bike pump up my dickhole and giving it a couple of blasts of air to clear things out first
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Jan 27, 2018 11:27
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FuckenPunchOn posted:I personally never piss without jamming the filler needle from a bike pump up my dickhole and giving it a couple of blasts of air to clear things out first I think your sister posted an E/N thread a while ago
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Jan 27, 2018 14:25
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