/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

I hate pancakes and like independence

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:25

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# ? May 14, 2024 10:20

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

I've never heard the phrase "cake and mint" before. That fucker wants to not serve a real meal?!

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:28

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

my cat is norris posted:

My [27F] Girlfriend of two years won't forgive me for cheating on my exfiance [28F] and I'm [28M] at a loss.

she's probably cheating on him

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:39

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Ok I went looking for an update to the Alma / Sasha story and there is one... apparently today is the day for exciting twists in stories

UPDATE: My [27F] Girlfriend of two years won't forgive me for cheating on my exfiance [28F] and I'm [28M] at a loss.

quote:

So I'm just going to sum things up because there's a lot of detail and its great for long stories with friends...maybe not reddit. Sasha told me she was going to visit her mother because there was a health emergency last week, I took her to the airport and immediately moved all essentials out of my place to a storage locker not far from it. I had my computer and phone scrubbed of key loggers and trackers, there were several on each.

A good friend of mine offered me his spare room until a month is up as I had to leave a 30 day written notice for Sasha in the apartment. I decided it would be best to wait until she got home to let her know we broke up to not distract from her family. The day before Sasha was supposed to fly back I received and eerie Facebook message from Alma. Apparently for the past couple days her home had been messed with? Someone left gates open, tore through screen doors, broke a couple pots in yard, and she felt like she was being watched. She asked if there was any chance that I or Sasha was behind all of this. It pained me to say it but part of me thought Sasha or Danielle might be, as I had no idea where Alma currently lived. I informed her about the key logger, the trackers, and other issues. Alma asked what kind of car I drove as she had noticed the same car driving by several times and was now parked at the end of her block. It was not Sasha's vehicle or mine so I assumed Danielle might be stalking Alma on Sasha's behalf while I was gone.

Alma asked if I would come deal with this as she was very upset to be involved involuntarily in this issue and to at least provide company so she wouldn't be home alone. She gave me her address and off I went.

Come to find out... Sasha never boarded the plane. She bought a ticket, and turned around as soon as I did. She rented a car and went to stalk Alma probably in hopes to catch me going back to Alma... which in her eyes happened as soon as I showed up to Alma's place.

I arrived and Sasha came bulldozing out of her rented car towards me. She kept screaming at me for cheating on her, that she knew I'd run back to that sl-t, that the second she was gone I couldn't keep my dick in my pants. Alma came out of her house at the sound of the screams and Sasha tried to sprint at her. Thankfully Alma was able to get back into her home and lock the door in time, while Sasha began to hurl things around her yard.

The police arrived and took everyone aside for statements. Alma showed pictures of prior damage, photos of the car parked at the end of the block, Facebook messages between me, and I did the same. Surprisingly it seemed that Sasha didn't deny any of it... she even admitted to stalking Alma's Facebook enough to determine where she lived based on photos.

The worst moment was when they put Sasha into the police car. She looked me dead in they eye and told me that what she did she did for me and our love together, we will be together she swears. The police officer apologized and said I should start looking into a restraining order asap. So thats what I've been doing this week. I think I want to be single for some time now.

tl;dr: Sasha installed several key loggers and trackers on my electronic devices. She then began to stalk Alma at her home. I came by and the police were called. Im going to be single for sometime. Thanks folks. Being able to write everything out last time and read it all in one place really made me realize how many red flags I waved away.

All's well that ends well.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:41

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ok I went looking for an update to the Alma / Sasha story and there is one... apparently today is the day for exciting twists in stories

UPDATE: My [27F] Girlfriend of two years won't forgive me for cheating on my exfiance [28F] and I'm [28M] at a loss.

All's well that ends well.

yyyyyyyyikes

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:44

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

heh, tutorials? that's beneath my stature as an expert computer janitor. those who can't, teach, am i right??

Learn to loving read, dumbass. I�m there to fix problems and there�s dedicated people for training. I�m not leaving them just to suffer. Do mechanics give driving lessons when someone comes in with squeaky brakes?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:50

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ok I went looking for an update to the Alma / Sasha story and there is one... apparently today is the day for exciting twists in stories

UPDATE: My [27F] Girlfriend of two years won't forgive me for cheating on my exfiance [28F] and I'm [28M] at a loss.

All's well that ends well.

jesus christ

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:54

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Learn to loving read, dumbass. I�m there to fix problems and there�s dedicated people for training. I�m not leaving them just to suffer. Do mechanics give driving lessons when someone comes in with squeaky brakes?

Dude this is such a dead conversation but this situation is more like the mechanic opens up your car, removes your ad-hoc fixes which you put in to get the engine running again, and then leaves without fixing the problem or putting them back, leaving you with no car to drive. Solving a problem halfway and then leaving it in an intermediate state is worse than doing nothing.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:54

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

girl pants posted:

We've been together 4 years and I[24F] can't find a compromise with my fiance [26M] about this upcoming wedding "production." I'm even rethinking getting married.

Planning a wedding is horrible even if you're both on the same page. Just elope.

i understand the frustration, my daughter's recent birthday was fun because she refused to admit it was her birthday. she insisted it was the cat's birthday. so we got presents for and sang happy birthday to the cat. she told us that this was because she didn't like being the center of attention and it's a lot of pressure to have a bunch of people standing around looking at you, singing, while you have to blow out candles on a flaming cake

then again my kid is a literal toddler not an emotional toddler, so

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:55

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

I remember getting really drunk at my 24th birthday party, and then at around 11:00PM, I walked downstairs and went "I don't care if you guys hang out, but I'm going to bed".

I'm not a good host.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 20:59

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Dude this is such a dead conversation but this situation is more like the mechanic opens up your car, removes your ad-hoc fixes which you put in to get the engine running again, and then leaves without fixing the problem or putting them back, leaving you with no car to drive. Solving a problem halfway and then leaving it in an intermediate state is worse than doing nothing.

Wrong part of the conversation. He was calling me out for "being too good to give tutorials." Whereas I say "I have job duties and actually get to stick to them."

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:01

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Ham Sandwiches posted:

Ok I went looking for an update to the Alma / Sasha story and there is one... apparently today is the day for exciting twists in stories

UPDATE: My [27F] Girlfriend of two years won't forgive me for cheating on my exfiance [28F] and I'm [28M] at a loss.

All's well that ends well.

If you knew this dude in real life you should get away from him because everyone he knows and likes is absolutely bug gently caress insane.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:01

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

girl pants posted:

My (25f) SO (27m) of 8 years said something about our two daughters' (<3f) future friends that creeped me out. Overreacting?

[quote]
We both are very kinky, and open to everything

Well, not everything obviously.

:barf:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:01

CheesyDog: Jul 4, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:02

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Dude this is such a dead conversation but this situation is more like the mechanic opens up your car, removes your ad-hoc fixes which you put in to get the engine running again, and then leaves without fixing the problem or putting them back, leaving you with no car to drive. Solving a problem halfway and then leaving it in an intermediate state is worse than doing nothing.

that's not what he did tho, he told the guy the nurse would help him get some x-rays and help re-bandaging his hand. Odds are they'd need to have the bandages off for x-rays anyways.

That's how doctors work, they take a look at you, decide what needs to be done, then have someone who's job is to do that thing do it. All he had to do was not be a big ol huffy baby and wait for assistance.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:02

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

OH MY GOD LET IT GO

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:03

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

tactlessbastard posted:

OH MY GOD LET IT GO

more like tactlesselsa

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:10

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

45 minutes is a long time to wait when you're injured and in pain. That dude didn't handle it well with his dumb bandage but there could have been improvements on the medical patient care side as well. It sounds like there wasn't much communication which is a really terrible way to handle patients, and it's hosed up to treat patients badly even when they're being lovely.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:12

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

elsabastard

boner confessor posted:

i understand the frustration, my daughter's recent birthday was fun because she refused to admit it was her birthday. she insisted it was the cat's birthday. so we got presents for and sang happy birthday to the cat. she told us that this was because she didn't like being the center of attention and it's a lot of pressure to have a bunch of people standing around looking at you, singing, while you have to blow out candles on a flaming cake

then again my kid is a literal toddler not an emotional toddler, so

I like the idea of this lady thinking it's a good idea to have a wedding of any size in a backyard without having to spend money on renting a tent and portapotties. Also she wants a dry wedding. I guess that's great if you don't want anybody to come (sounds like she doesn't)

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:14

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

ArbitraryC posted:

that's not what he did tho, he told the guy the nurse would help him get some x-rays and help re-bandaging his hand. Odds are they'd need to have the bandages off for x-rays anyways.

That's how doctors work, they take a look at you, decide what needs to be done, then have someone who's job is to do that thing do it. All he had to do was not be a big ol huffy baby and wait for assistance.

Do you think a hot dog is a sandwich?

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:16

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

His hand never bothered him anyway

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:19

Halser: Aug 24, 2016

zakharov posted:

Do you think a hot dog is a sandwich?

porkwichs, is what I call them.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:20

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

zakharov posted:

Do you think a hot dog is a sandwich?

Is a hot pocket a sandwich, legally

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:21

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Learn to loving read, dumbass. I�m there to fix problems and there�s dedicated people for training. I�m not leaving them just to suffer. Do mechanics give driving lessons when someone comes in with squeaky brakes?

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Wrong part of the conversation. He was calling me out for "being too good to give tutorials." Whereas I say "I have job duties and actually get to stick to them."

i'm entirely willing to concede that there's a line between "how do i do this particular thing in excel" and "how do i spreadsheet" and that i'd tend to foist off the latter as well

but you're still coming across as a real Nick Burns here

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Dude this is such a dead conversation but this situation is more like the mechanic opens up your car, removes your ad-hoc fixes which you put in to get the engine running again, and then leaves without fixing the problem or putting them back, leaving you with no car to drive. Solving a problem halfway and then leaving it in an intermediate state is worse than doing nothing.

i'm not even talking about the bandages i just think Avenging_Mikon is a jumped up little nerdlinger

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:23

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I [26M] was going to take my fiancee's [27F] last name, friends and family are giving me hell over it

quote:

u/Thrwwy123678

My last name is about as basic American white bread as you can get...think Stevens or Jones. My fiancee has a pretty cool, "fancy" French surname...think Lachapelle or Richelieu. She is really proud of it and actually told me on our third date that she would never her future husband's name. I was cool with that and assumed that everyone keeping their own name would be the plan. Now that we are engaged and wedding/marriage planning is in full swing, I've been thinking more and more that I would actually like to take her last name. I don't outright hate mine but it's so bland and boring. And I think my first name + her last name sound very good together.

My fiancee, her friends, and her family all think this is a great idea. My friends and family are making my life a living hell over this decision.

From my friends I am getting stuff like "I guess we know who wears the pants in the relationship," "You're whipped," "You're letting your girlfriend own you," etc. They think we should both keep our own names.

My family says stuff more like "You're denying your family," "you're disowning us," "this is a slap in the face." They want my fiancee to take our last name, or keep hers legally but use ours socially.

I never imagined that this would be this big a deal and it's kind of taking the wind out of my sails for this name change. A big part of me doesn't want to give in and keep my name just on principal, but a small part of me wonders if changing my name will be worth the hassle. It feels like I'm being dogpiled and I hate it. What should I do?

Tl;Dr I want to take my fiancee's last name and apparently that makes me a sissy and a betrayer. What can I do to make everyone back off?

I will never understand why people think they get a say in other people's decisions

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:25

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

girl pants posted:

I [26M] was going to take my fiancee's [27F] last name, friends and family are giving me hell over it

I will never understand why people think they get a say in other people's decisions

Tradeetz

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:27

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

My wife took my name because her last name is her dad's and they're not close at all. It was 100% her decision and I'm always mildly nervous I'm gonna get the side eye.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:29

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Honestly a man taking his wife's name is uncommon enough that I can kinda understand why his family is like "uh whoa wait what are you saying" but explaining that should be pretty easy, his friends need to back off though

also I am not surprised at all that everyone she knows thinks it's cool and good and everyone he knows thinks it's lame and bad

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:29

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

A guy I used to work with picked a completely new surname unrelated to either his old name or his wife's old name when he got married

It was an interesting strategy but mostly confusing honestly

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:31

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

I told my fiance that he should change his last name to mine and I'll change my last name to his

That'll keep 'em on their toes

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:33

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Y'all are pushing me onto oldpainless' turf

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:33

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

girl pants posted:

I [26M] was going to take my fiancee's [27F] last name, friends and family are giving me hell over it

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:54

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

girl pants posted:

I [26M] was going to take my fiancee's [27F] last name, friends and family are giving me hell over it

I will never understand why people think they get a say in other people's decisions

On the one side, it's his decision and nobody else's

On the other, taking his wife's name is the literal sitcom over the top parody thing to show that a dude is a complete loving sissy, so yeah, duh

People are gonna assume you're a sissy for it

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:54

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

zakharov posted:

Do you think a hot dog is a sandwich?

PYF is leaking

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:55

Meme Emulator: Oct 4, 2000

loquacius posted:

A guy I used to work with picked a completely new surname unrelated to either his old name or his wife's old name when he got married

It was an interesting strategy but mostly confusing honestly

This is cool and I wish we did this in America, as if we were 3rd century BC Chinese generals giving ourselves style names.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 21:58

Arivia: Mar 17, 2011

Meme Emulator posted:

This is cool and I wish we did this in America, as if we were 3rd century BC Chinese generals giving ourselves style names.

I did it with my name change for being trans and it was rad as hell. Would highly recommend.

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:01

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

mods rename me Jeffrey of YOSPOS the Lionhearted

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:02

bob dobbs is dead: Oct 8, 2017; I love peeps; Nap Ghost

Meme Emulator posted:

This is cool and I wish we did this in America, as if we were 3rd century BC Chinese generals giving ourselves style names.

my grandpa had a style name, "American"
cuz he learned english and dealt with americans (he was a korean dude) and got a nat geo subscription, which was a big deal in 1950s korea
maybe i should get one

(prolly not a nat geo subscription, now a murdoch rag)

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:04

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

I [38M] had an affair. I'm trying to find a resolution now with my wife [36F] and the other woman [19F]

quote:

I've been with my wife [36F] for 10 years, we have 2 young children together. I had an affair assuming she would never find out, I did not devote my resources or emotional attention to this other woman, it was purely sexual because I have needs (We are not in a dead bedroom situation but like most males I do crave some variety. It really means nothing).

Anyway the "other woman" has told me she's pregnant. Although my first thought is that it's not mine, there's still a good chance that it is, and she threatened to call my wife and tell her about it if I didn't agree to take care of the kid. And what's worse is that she actually wants me to TAKE CARE of the kid, not only supply child support (but already, even in the case of child support I would wind up in a really bad position and I don't want to have to do that)

All things considered, I know that dodging child support (if paternity turns out to be accurate) is not going to do me any favors. The best way to get around this is to be honest with my wife because she was bound to find out one way or the other. However, given that I am intelligent about marriage, we signed a pre-nup before we got married that said she wasn't entitled to anything I earn before OR during our marriage and she forfeited her right to alimony. She's a SAHM so she is aware that if she leaves, she will literally have nothing. So I'm not worried about our marriage ending per se- and I still really love her and want to be with her- but I don't want to be with her if she's going to be embittered for the rest of our lives.

I told her about the affair. Of course, she got very emotional about it. I explained that it was not a love thing, just sex, but that unfortunately there is now a child in the picture who is most likely mine. I told her that what I'd IDEALLY like to do is have the other woman and her child move in with us, for a few reasons. first of all, this other woman is financially struggling and she could live with us as a live-in nanny of sorts to our two children. It sounds weird, but she's already told me she's fine with this arrangement. In addition, if I could get my wife on board with a polyamory situation, I could continue sleeping with both women and have TWO happy marriages instead of one. My wife cried when I suggested this but as the days go on I think she might be coming around to it because the alternative is so much more unappealing. I told her she'd get more of my time, attention, and I'd spend way less time out of the house since this other woman would be living with us. We also would no longer have to spend money on high school aged babysitters we don't trust, rushing to find them in time for date night, etc. And since I want more sex than my wife does, this arrangement would mean less "annoying" propositions from me and more time for her to enjoy herself alone.

I know my wife has no choice but to "agree" to this idea but I don't want her to just agree, I want her to be happy about it or at least be willing to take part. I want us to all be able to do things as a family, and for our kids to grow up together.

Of course all of this is a moot point if the baby isn't mine, but only time will tell.

tl;dr: Suggested a polyamorous arrangement after getting another woman pregnant. My wife has "agreed" to it since she doesn't want a divorce but doesn't seem enthusiastic.

Tale as old as holy poo poo :distonk:

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:12

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# ? May 14, 2024 10:20

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

mods rename me Jeffrey of YOSPOS the Lionhearted

But... you are a mod...

# ? Feb 2, 2018 22:12

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