Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Post itt every time you lol that trump is president

Risky: May 18, 2003

nickhimself posted:

Oh my god trump is the loving dumbest person, maybe of all time ever.

How can you support a person who is so obviously incompetent and either lying 99% of the time he opens his mouth OR is so dumb that he can't track a lie for more than two words after he speaks it. Jesus god damned christ.

gently caress you in your dumb mother loving faces, trump supporters. You lovely idiots

Because his supporters are retarded. I've been playing a little social experiment at work (I'm a nurse) and I'll make small talk with patients, especially if they are watching the news, to try to find out their political leanings. 9 times out of 10 they will openly admit to being a Trump supporter and half the time will spew something racist.

Also every single one that fit those criteria were unemployed as well.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 09:48

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# ? May 12, 2024 23:32

StupidSexyVaultGuy: Jul 26, 2003

Risky posted:

Because his supporters are retarded. I've been playing a little social experiment at work (I'm a nurse) and I'll make small talk with patients, especially if they are watching the news, to try to find out their political leanings. 9 times out of 10 they will openly admit to being a Trump supporter and half the time will spew something racist.

Also every single one that fit those criteria were unemployed as well.

See if you can get them to agree to the idea that Hitler had some good ideas

# ? Feb 3, 2018 09:54

Jukebox Hero: Dec 27, 2007; stars in his eyes

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

See if you can get them to agree to the idea that Hitler had some good ideas

"My grand-daddy died so that I could say the guys that shot him were right" is my favorite part of the American fascist movement that the conservative party has become.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 10:11

Risky: May 18, 2003

StupidSexyVaultGuy posted:

See if you can get them to agree to the idea that Hitler had some good ideas

Admitted a patient last night that stated he didn't' have any family to contact because he disowned his own daughter. I asked "why is that"?

"Because she married a black guy".

# ? Feb 3, 2018 10:32

Blast of Confetti: Apr 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

lol hope she gets railed by her black husband every night just to spite him

# ? Feb 3, 2018 10:37

thatguy: Feb 5, 2003

just confirms my belief that old people are just shittier humans and death panels are a good idea

# ? Feb 3, 2018 10:38

Smirr: Jun 28, 2012

Piers Morgan is still melting down and plastering his twitter feed with that cartoon of himself eating Trump's rear end, fyi. We are truly blessed

# ? Feb 3, 2018 10:57

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

lol Piers retweeted this

https://twitter.com/rickygervais/status/959546213568864256

I don't think he gets it

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:05

Blast of Confetti: Apr 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

eatin rear end to own the libs

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:07

fatal oopsie-daisy: Jul 30, 2007; by R. Guyovich

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:14

Jel Shaker: Apr 19, 2003

To be fair to piers Morgan he should be in jail for phone hacking, but instead he keeps getting lucrative media jobs and interviews so clearly some of that trump magic has rubbed off on him

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:31

TulliusCicero: Jul 29, 2017

Jel Shaker posted:

To be fair to piers Morgan he should be in jail for phone hacking, but instead he keeps getting lucrative media jobs and interviews so clearly some of that trump magic has rubbed off on him

"Hello folks. Piers Morgan here, just saying again that I do not eat Trump's rear end. If I did eat Trump's rear end it would look like this, which I definitely do not do, and is offensive to me. Eating the president's rear end I mean. Not sexy at all. ...Look here is the picture again."

"Sir, this is a Wendy's drive thru"

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:40

my new dog: May 7, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo

i am NOT in love with the president and his big muscles, firm buttocks

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:42

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

# ? Feb 3, 2018 11:47

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

piss tape israel posted:

holy lol

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:03

my new dog: May 7, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo

so what if i have committed a huge amount of crimes, you cant just dig around in peoples past for no reason. did you start looking into my many, many crimes, which include fraud and treason, because you were asked to do so? well checkmate

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:20

goldenninjawarrior: Jul 21, 2017; Ninja is supreme and you have double-crossed it!
Why did you do that?; Grimey Drawer

Jukebox Hero posted:

"My grand-daddy died so that I could say the guys that shot him were right" is my favorite part of the American fascist movement that the conservative party has become.

When I was taking German in school we had to learn about the RAF and Baader-Meinhof and my teacher spoke very fondly of a far-left generation of Germans who hated their parents previous Nazi leanings and were desperate to remove themselves from such ideals, even through terrorist methods. For homework, she asked me to look up what the surviving members are up to these days and I never saw anyone look so crestfallen when I reported back to her that they're pretty high ranking neo-nazis, holocaust deniers and pedophiles these days.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:20

my new dog: May 7, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo

also sexual assault and systematic racism as a landlord

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:23

Bob NewSCART: Feb 1, 2012; Outstanding afternoon. "I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."

my new dog posted:

also sexual assault and systematic racism as a landlord

Lol maga

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:25

Tahirovic: Feb 25, 2009; Fun Shoe

Does Mueller also have dirt on Pence or does getting rid of the Dotard mean you guys get federal praythegayaway camps?

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:34

Bad Titty Puker: Nov 3, 2007; Soiled Meat

goldenninjawarrior posted:

When I was taking German in school we had to learn about the RAF and Baader-Meinhof and my teacher spoke very fondly of a far-left generation of Germans who hated their parents previous Nazi leanings and were desperate to remove themselves from such ideals, even through terrorist methods. For homework, she asked me to look up what the surviving members are up to these days and I never saw anyone look so crestfallen when I reported back to her that they're pretty high ranking neo-nazis, holocaust deniers and pedophiles these days.

I think that's kind of misleading since most of the core members of the first RAF group died and many of the surviving members are either living quiet anonymous lives or are in prison currently or for most of their lives. Horst Mahler is the prominent example of an ex-RAF member turned holocaust denier but he's not typical of the surviving former members, and he was from the older generation than the RAF members, acting as their lawyer. The other former members that got attention committed a bank robbery but the news articles don't claim that they're now extreme right wing.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:37

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

piers no

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:44

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

haha what

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:49

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

piss tape israel posted:

but this is the greatest, I love it

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:50

Hail Mr. Satan!: Oct 3, 2009; by zen death robot

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

piers no

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:55

Honj Steak: May 31, 2013; Hi there.

Random Stranger posted:

Step 1: One of the crazier members of government and his cronies pull apart a giant pile of investigative material to write four pages all about how Hillary and Obama are out to get Trump. To do this they cut and paste widely, removing context and building their own narrative. Their theory is that you discredit the opposition research that the republican party commissioned on Trump and that the democrats later paid for, then you discredit the entire investigation. Note that the investigation predates that research getting to the FBI.

Step 2: Tell the world that you have a super-secret memo that is absolute proof that Trump is the greatest person ever and Killery's lies are behind everything.

Step 3: Idiots and lunatics flip the gently caress out. Finally, there's proof and all they need is that memo! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!

Step 4: Other people in government start going, "So about that conspiracy theory... er... memo..." In a secret ceremony below the capitol, it is read to a select group of people who decide they actually want to hear it. Their response is, "You got to be loving kidding me." Idiots and lunatics take this response as running scared and increase their demands to release the memo. One of those idiots and lunatics happens to be Donald Trump.

Step 5: Democrats go, "Don't release the memo. It's loving stupid." The general public has heard of the super secret memo by this point and want to know what's in it, though, so the committee takes the never before taken step of voting to pass it over to the white house, let them redact anything they feel isn't safe to release, and then they'll put it out. Basically, democrats are going, "You want it? Fine, go ahead. Don't say we didn't warn you."

Step 6: ~~Trump~~ some idiots at the white house read the memo and pass notes back to the crazy original author saying that they want some changes to make it clear that Trump is totally innocent and Hillary is really awful. Word gets back to the democrats who go, "Hey, that's not what we agreed to release!" Trump goes, "Tough poo poo!"

Step 7: Memo is released. It turns out that the FBI was investigating exactly the people that we knew they were investigating for exactly the reasons we knew they were investigating them and they used information from exactly the person we knew they got it from who was paid by exactly the people we knew paid them. Biggest secrets in the memo are tiny details that don't matter to the general public but help other country's counter intelligence efforts a bit. The memo is so transparently arranged that it includes elements that contradict the basic narrative that they're trying to tell. In short, it's nothing even when read at face value and damning the people who wrote it when you pull it apart.

Step 8: ????

Step 9: ~~Profit~~. FBI is completely discredited and investigation is shut down. America is made great again.

Kumo posted:

During the months prior to the 2016 American Election for president, our national security agencies became aware of a plot by the Russian Federation to interfere in our electoral process. The information they obtained was from a variety of sources, both civilian and not. One of the means that they obtained this information was through a controversial process perfected during the Bush Administration under an act of law called the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (or FISA). FISA permits the United States Government to appear before a judge, request and most likely obtain a Court order to surveil an individual through a variety of means. If the subject of surveillance is an American citizen, then the order is only good for 90 days. The standard used is "probable cause;" which in this context is mostly likely defined as a reasonable standard based upon the totality of the circumstances.

FISA warrants were issued for two members of the Trump Campaign, Carter Page and George Papapadopoulos. They were re-authorized for subsequent 90 day periods at different points during 2015-2016. These facts, in and of themselves, indicate the belief by national security officials, and a federal judge that Page and Papadopoulos were potentially engaged in continuing clandestine espionage with a hostile foreign power.

The Steele dossier is named for a former MI6 (British Intelligence) Officer named Christopher Steele. Steele was hired by a company called Fusion GPS, itself a research firm founded by former journalists, to investigate a Trump-Russia connection for "oppositional research" a term whereby one political candidate investigates another political candidate for potentially damaging information. Initially, at least, Fusion GPS was hired by a Republican donor named Paul Singer who owner a Conservative Newspaper called The Washington Free Beacon; later Fusion GPS was hired by the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign. During the course of his investigation, Steele became aware of and documented an incident in 2013 at the Ritz Carleton in Moscow, where Donald Trump purportedly paid for prostitutes to urinate on the bed that former President Barrack Obama had slept in. Steele contacted the United States Federal Bureau of Investigation with his concerns and was heard, and even paid for his investigation (the fact Steele was paid by the FBI is regarded as surprising and corroboratory evidence of the veracity of his allegations because the FBI is known for being very, very cheap).

After the allegations became public knowledge a number of investigations were launched, including one by the House of Representatives (the lower body of the American Legislative Branch) called the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI). The HPSCI is comprised of members of both political parties, the Republicans and the Democrats, with the Republicans holding a majority of the seats and thereby controlling a number of important investigatory and administrative functions. One of the members of the Committee is Devin Nunes, who has close ties to the Trump Administration, and is regarded as a proxy for the Trump Administration. Based upon classified information, Republican Staffers on the Committee drafted a Memo, which was released today stating that the underlying basis for the Special Counsel Investigation headed by the former Director of the FBI, Robert Mueller (this basis being the FISA Warrants on Page and Papadopoulos, and the Steele dossier) are without merit because of "reasons" that are transparently political, lacking in a logical evidentiary consistency, selected meticulously in a biased manner and which omit other key facts and context.

The FBI and DOJ (Department of Justice) issued a rare statement that releasing the Memo was "reckless." The Democrats on the HPSCI objected to it's release, were over-ruled; and drafted a Memo of their own responding to and addressing the myriad defeciencies in the "Nunes Memo," they were also over-ruled. There is a vote Monday, February 5th, to again release the Democrat's Memo. However, to release that information, it must first go through a process of releasing classified information that was historically unused before the Nunes Memo, and it gives one party (and only one party) the right to choose to release the classified information.

That party is the President of the United States of America, Donald J. Trump.

The principal target of the investigation has the sole authority and discretion to release the credible information concerning the investigation to the public.

.....and that about brings you up to speed.

If you have any further questions, I am happy to answer them.

Thank you that was excellent for understanding.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:58

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Risky posted:

Because his supporters are retarded. I've been playing a little social experiment at work (I'm a nurse) and I'll make small talk with patients, especially if they are watching the news, to try to find out their political leanings. 9 times out of 10 they will openly admit to being a Trump supporter and half the time will spew something racist.

Also every single one that fit those criteria were unemployed as well.

Lol my girlfriend and I have been having the same experience in the hospital. No tooth bubbas with no insurance and sporting that deep stupid racist ignorance all warriors for the NYC playboy billionaire's cause, because at least he ain't 'Bama, and at least he ain't a woman!!! That and actual demented patients seem to really like him, I'm assuming because he's right in their demographic.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 12:59

goldenninjawarrior: Jul 21, 2017; Ninja is supreme and you have double-crossed it!
Why did you do that?; Grimey Drawer

Bad Titty Puker posted:

he was from the older generation than the RAF members, acting as their lawyer. The other former members that got attention committed a bank robbery but the news articles don't claim that they're now extreme right wing.

You know what, that's fair.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:02

Bob NewSCART: Feb 1, 2012; Outstanding afternoon. "I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."

Tahirovic posted:

Does Mueller also have dirt on Pence or does getting rid of the Dotard mean you guys get federal praythegayaway camps?

Hasn�t been a lot of word on the horse fucker, although I can�t imagine he�s clean considering he�s trump VP. I�m pretty sure him being VP to trump doing some of the poo poo he�ll be charged with will mean he was complicit or at least by stander to it and will be charged as well for that(trump is going to win the next election and then pence will in 2024(

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:06

malder: Feb 7, 2005; Grimey Drawer

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

piers no

A turd eating a turd's turds.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:20

my new dog: May 7, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo

lookin for thos burgs

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:24

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

piers no

someone needs to add putin at the front of the human centipede but i'm too lazy right now

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:27

Velvet Elvis: Jul 1, 2007

LifeSunDeath posted:

someone needs to add putin at the front of the human centipede but i'm too lazy right now

And Putin needs to be shirtless on a horse, and then the horse needs to be loving Pence.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:33

Ayn Randi: Mar 12, 2009; Grimey Drawer

make anilingus great again

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:34

Dr.Caligari: May 5, 2005; "Here's a big, beautiful avatar for someone"

red19fire posted:

Correction, it was the CIA director. But trump does illegal poo poo constantly, admits it, and nothing happens.

The article mentions nothing about Colonel General Igor Korobov (head of GRU) also visiting.

Dr.Caligari fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Feb 3, 2018

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:35

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Velvet Elvis posted:

And Putin needs to be shirtless on a horse, and then the horse needs to be loving Pence.

i like the way you think. also it needs to be painted at gunpoint by ben carson on a velvet canvas.

e: wait, ben carson, who's the dude that makes the lovely political cartoons? gently caress it the uncle tom guy would work too.

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:50

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

The Glumslinger posted:

Schiff Response

Sounds like a fencing response or something

mono posted:

Slow children at play

# ? Feb 3, 2018 13:55

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

mono posted:

# ? Feb 3, 2018 14:05

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

1redflag posted:

Lol, I just asked my idiot co-worker about the memo and how I hadn't heard anything from him about it yet and he just walked away with a mean look on his face. Hahahahaha

See these are the small high quality lols that are truly precious, hearing such stories warms my dead gay soul so

# ? Feb 3, 2018 14:06

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# ? May 12, 2024 23:32

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

my new dog posted:

so what if i have committed a huge amount of crimes, you cant just dig around in peoples past for no reason. did you start looking into my many, many crimes, which include fraud and treason, because you were asked to do so? well checkmate

About 6 thousand years ago Trupm sent a tweet MUELLER BETTER NOT LOOK AT MY FINANCIAL RECORDS lol

might as well have painted a bullseye on it

# ? Feb 3, 2018 14:06

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