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May 15, 2024 08:46
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- Ugly In The Morning
- Jul 1, 2010
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Pillbug
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What kind of moronic horndog sees a craigslist thing reading “hey, break into my house and rape my wife, she’s in on it” and thinks “this is a good idea, and could never end with me being arrested or shot”?
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Feb 3, 2018 05:06
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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What kind of moronic horndog sees a craigslist thing reading “hey, break into my house and rape my wife, she’s in on it” and thinks “this is a good idea, and could never end with me being arrested or shot”?
Uh the audience of Craigslist?
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Feb 3, 2018 05:11
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- boner confessor
- Apr 25, 2013
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by R. Guyovich
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What kind of moronic horndog sees a craigslist thing reading “hey, break into my house and rape my wife, she’s in on it” and thinks “this is a good idea, and could never end with me being arrested or shot”?
definitely the kind of people who read the sex part of craigslist
it's not exactly like you're going to accidentally stumble across the "please rape my wife" ads in between looking for rummage sales and used washers
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Feb 3, 2018 05:22
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- Trauma Dog 3000
- Aug 30, 2017
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by SA Support Robot
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MAN LOOKING FOR FAKE THERAPIST TO ROLE-PLAY GIVING MY WIFE TRAUMA COUNSELING
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Feb 3, 2018 05:48
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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This was a really good reply to the "SO-likes-daughter-swap-porn" post:
I made a throwaway to post this comment as I want to share with you but this is a part of my life I don't like to talk about for what will be obvious reasons.
I got married way too young, and shortly after I found out my husband was into some weird porn similar to what you describe. And like you, I managed to make it OK with myself. I am into kinky things myself, but I didn't have a good judge of what's healthy kinky and what's just kind of hosed up. What he was into was kind of hosed up.
Then I found out he was in online text RPG groups actually roleplaying out some of this stuff... he managed to convince me it was all harmless creative writing. OK, again.
Then I found out he was building relationships outside the game with some of the people he RP'd with... he managed to convince me that me questioning it was me being "controlling" and a "nag", he was allowed his own social life, me questioning it was "interfering". Ok... again. He kept poking holes in condoms to get me pregnant, and it worked a couple of times but I kept having miscarriages. Each time he would get absolutely apoplectic, make me sleep in the bathtub and not talk to me for weeks till he calmed down and "forgave" me.
Then I found out his late nights in the city and weekends away at work were actually him meeting some of these people. He managed to convince me that an open relationship was the solution (I was pretty hosed up because of years of emotional and mental abuse at this point), I figured as long as it mean he was no longer going to touch me, I was ok with that.
A couple of years later the police knocked on the door, they sat me down and explained they'd arrested him in another city where he had been meeting one of his online "friends"... and having sex with her 11 year old daughter.
They'd been tracking him for months, he was a very, very active pedophile. All those things I'd accepted were actually the path he trod to actualizing his fantasies. I was married to a pedophile... I found out in the months that followed of getting divorced and the trial that the only reason he'd married me in the first place was because I had been raped as a child by an uncle, and the idea really turned him on.
I have several serious suicide attempts in the 20 years since then, the scars are very visible and the last attempt 12 years ago left me partially disabled. I had to have years of therapy and can only barely call myself "OK" now, but I still can't bare to be touched, and can't live with anyone because of how bad my anxiety is. Thankfully I'm tech savvy and work online coding, I couldn't support myself at all otherwise or be considered functional.
If I had realized how completely unacceptable those warning signs were I could at the very least have extracted myself and saved myself years of abuse. I thank God every day I never had children with him (and I dreamed of kids), I can't imagine what kind of horrifying nightmare that would have been.
You have SO many of the similar warning signs going on in your life, AND you have kids... please please... please... get away from him. Don't make the mistakes I did of OKing the aberrant behavior and accepting the abuse because you think you can't do better or you're stuck. It absolutely will just keep escalating, your daughters are at risk even if you don't think you deserve better. Think of them.
I won't be logging back into this account or replying to any comments, typing this all out has made me feel really sick. I hope it was worth it.
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Feb 3, 2018 08:02
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- Trauma Dog 3000
- Aug 30, 2017
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by SA Support Robot
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This was a really good reply to the "SO-likes-daughter-swap-porn" post:
I made a throwaway to post this comment as I want to share with you but this is a part of my life I don't like to talk about for what will be obvious reasons.
I got married way too young, and shortly after I found out my husband was into some weird porn similar to what you describe. And like you, I managed to make it OK with myself. I am into kinky things myself, but I didn't have a good judge of what's healthy kinky and what's just kind of hosed up. What he was into was kind of hosed up.
Then I found out he was in online text RPG groups actually roleplaying out some of this stuff... he managed to convince me it was all harmless creative writing. OK, again.
Then I found out he was building relationships outside the game with some of the people he RP'd with... he managed to convince me that me questioning it was me being "controlling" and a "nag", he was allowed his own social life, me questioning it was "interfering". Ok... again. He kept poking holes in condoms to get me pregnant, and it worked a couple of times but I kept having miscarriages. Each time he would get absolutely apoplectic, make me sleep in the bathtub and not talk to me for weeks till he calmed down and "forgave" me.
Then I found out his late nights in the city and weekends away at work were actually him meeting some of these people. He managed to convince me that an open relationship was the solution (I was pretty hosed up because of years of emotional and mental abuse at this point), I figured as long as it mean he was no longer going to touch me, I was ok with that.
A couple of years later the police knocked on the door, they sat me down and explained they'd arrested him in another city where he had been meeting one of his online "friends"... and having sex with her 11 year old daughter.
They'd been tracking him for months, he was a very, very active pedophile. All those things I'd accepted were actually the path he trod to actualizing his fantasies. I was married to a pedophile... I found out in the months that followed of getting divorced and the trial that the only reason he'd married me in the first place was because I had been raped as a child by an uncle, and the idea really turned him on.
I have several serious suicide attempts in the 20 years since then, the scars are very visible and the last attempt 12 years ago left me partially disabled. I had to have years of therapy and can only barely call myself "OK" now, but I still can't bare to be touched, and can't live with anyone because of how bad my anxiety is. Thankfully I'm tech savvy and work online coding, I couldn't support myself at all otherwise or be considered functional.
If I had realized how completely unacceptable those warning signs were I could at the very least have extracted myself and saved myself years of abuse. I thank God every day I never had children with him (and I dreamed of kids), I can't imagine what kind of horrifying nightmare that would have been.
You have SO many of the similar warning signs going on in your life, AND you have kids... please please... please... get away from him. Don't make the mistakes I did of OKing the aberrant behavior and accepting the abuse because you think you can't do better or you're stuck. It absolutely will just keep escalating, your daughters are at risk even if you don't think you deserve better. Think of them.
I won't be logging back into this account or replying to any comments, typing this all out has made me feel really sick. I hope it was worth it.
to clarify, this is from reddit?
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Feb 3, 2018 08:30
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- burial
- Sep 13, 2002
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actually, that won't be necessary.
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That was awfully brave. I hope that the words don’t fall on deaf ears because I’m sure they sucked to write.
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Feb 3, 2018 09:02
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- Beachcomber
- May 21, 2007
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Another day in paradise.
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Slippery Tilde
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The thing I like about this is I don't know what this is, but I feel like the name tells me exactly what this is, and it isn't a Shai'hulud rodeo.
Also, what is it? Did it happen here?
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Feb 3, 2018 09:10
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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to clarify, this is from reddit?
yeah one of the commenters in the thread
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Feb 3, 2018 09:26
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- Serephina
- Nov 8, 2005
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恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー
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This was a really good reply to the "SO-likes-daughter-swap-porn" post:
Where on earth is the topic this replied to, I can't find it via google nor this thread?
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Feb 3, 2018 10:55
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- darkwasthenight
- Jan 7, 2011
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GENE TRAITOR
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The thing I like about this is I don't know what this is, but I feel like the name tells me exactly what this is, and it isn't a Shai'hulud rodeo.
Also, what is it? Did it happen here?
It didn't happen here but some of the poop was touched here. Basically some trust fund kiddies in search of a utopian commune found out that A) land in the desert can be bought for incredibly cheaply and B) discovered very quickly why it's so cheap. Not as fun as the gooncommune on account of they mostly just got sunburnt and wasted a few months trying to irrigate a dust-blown wasteland.
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Feb 3, 2018 12:00
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- Khazar-khum
- Oct 22, 2008
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 Cat Army
2nd Battalion
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I [38M] had an affair. I'm trying to find a resolution now with my wife [36F] and the other woman [19F]
Tale as old as holy poo poo 
I know this was a few pages back, but a couple of things stood out. One, she didn't really speak English and two, he made up the pre-nup without any legal input.
Who wants to bet that the wife is mail-order from the Philippines or South America, married him for the visa and citizenship, and he keeps her at home like a slave? He probably made the pre-nup on his computer, and since she had no idea what was happening, she signed it. That will last about 30 seconds in court, and he will get reamed but good. That's assuming she or someone else helps her get a lawyer, and she doesn't curl up and take it because she's scared of him.
Oh, and the cousin who has to have everything about him? Help him. Wait till he starts on someone, then introduce his face to Mr Cast-iron Skillet. And if Mr Skillet is fresh from cooking something, so much the better.
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Feb 3, 2018 12:01
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- Runcible Cat
- May 28, 2007
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Ignoring this post
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I know this was a few pages back, but a couple of things stood out. One, she didn't really speak English and two, he made up the pre-nup without any legal input.
Who wants to bet that the wife is mail-order from the Philippines or South America, married him for the visa and citizenship, and he keeps her at home like a slave? He probably made the pre-nup on his computer, and since she had no idea what was happening, she signed it. That will last about 30 seconds in court, and he will get reamed but good. That's assuming she or someone else helps her get a lawyer, and she doesn't curl up and take it because she's scared of him.
That's my suspicion - seems all the likelier if he is the incel/MRA/redpill fucknut he seems to be. I hope possibly-imaginary internet lady asks a lawyer, or asks a nice neighbour who says, "hang on a second that doesn't sound right let me check with a lawyer" and gets to ream him into screaming oblivion.
Or hit him with a brick and bury him under the patio. Whichever.
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Feb 3, 2018 14:13
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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Aw man that reply was really sad.
My (26/F) roommate (24/M) is really starting to creep me out. Am I looking too deep into it?
quote:
u/roommateproblem91
I moved across the country for work five months ago. At first I was living in a place with a couple with whom I got along, really well. A couple of months into it, they found out they were pregnant, so I moved out to give them space.
Almost immediately after that, I found someone else to live with. A friend of a friend. He lived in a really nice apartment and he was in need of a roommate.
We met, got along well, and decided to give it a try.
Everything was okay at first. We’re both really clean, we pay our rent on time and stay out of each other’s way. That’s still mostly true, except for the last part.
A month into it, we went out for drinks. It was meant to be in a group, with our mutual friend and her SO. But they canceled last minute, so my roommate and I decided we’d go just us.
He got really drunk, tried to kiss me and then cried on the way home because he was embarrassed. I said it wasn’t a big deal. He was drunk, and he seemed to be very sorry for putting me in that position, so I let it go.
Since then, he’s been doing a bunch of small things that have slowly started to creep me out.
He called me from a party once, in the middle of the night, asking how I feel about the fact that he chose to call me whilst he was out. I still have no idea what he was hoping I’d say. I told him that I felt nothing and that I’d like to go back to sleep. Then I hung up.
I texted him by mistake once and said, “ignore that” after. It wasn’t an inappropriate text either. It was just a text to finalize the plans that I’d made with a friend with the same, very common, name as him. After that, he wouldn’t drop it, and he kept teasing me about it, as though I’d meant to text him all along even though it made no sense anyway. At one point he even joked that I have a crush on him. Obviously I don’t. If we weren’t roommates, that would be an acceptable joke to make, but we are, and I don’t think he was joking.
On nights when he knows I have to get up early the next day, he makes sure to bring home random girls and have sex very loudly. Our rooms are beside each other, so I hear every sound. Again, this would be okay, if not for the fact that he only does this when I have to be up early after. And it’s always sex. It’s never music or anything else. The one time I asked if he could maybe keep it down next time, he again “joked” that I have a crush on him, and that I wouldn’t care about the noise if not for that. I guess he was hoping that I would ask to talk to him about it so he could pull that out.
There’s more but those are the incidents that stick out. Although he’s toned down the loud sex sessions, he still gives me a creepy vibe. I’ve talked to our friend and she said that he’s just like that. It’s nothing to take personally.
What do you think? I’m not used to living with guys I’m not dating or related to, so I’m not sure if this is just a case of banter or if he’s really being a creep.
tl;dr After I rejected a drunken kiss from him on a night out, he seems to be trying really hard to prove that I have a crush on him when I clearly don’t. At first I took it as a joke. But now it’s getting to me.
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Feb 3, 2018 14:34
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- Buzkashi
- Feb 4, 2003
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College Slice
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Except instead of being on fire the house is just full of dicks
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Feb 3, 2018 15:12
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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This guy is so obsessed with me that he frequently has sex with tons of other women
Yeah the part where he "makes sure" to get laid on nights when he KNOWS she has to wake up early the next day seemed kind of delusional
I don't think he's obsessed with her or anything but things definitely Got Weird and they shouldn't be roommates anymore
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Feb 3, 2018 15:39
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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This was a really good reply to the "SO-likes-daughter-swap-porn" post:
I made a throwaway to post this comment as I want to share with you but this is a part of my life I don't like to talk about for what will be obvious reasons.
[...]
You have SO many of the similar warning signs going on in your life, AND you have kids... please please... please... get away from him. Don't make the mistakes I did of OKing the aberrant behavior and accepting the abuse because you think you can't do better or you're stuck. It absolutely will just keep escalating, your daughters are at risk even if you don't think you deserve better. Think of them.
This is why it's incredibly important to trust your own instincts. The most powerful tool that people have against you is your own doubt in yourself. I feel terrible for this lady. She tried to see the good in things and wasn't allowed to see straight, and she paid the price for it.
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Feb 3, 2018 17:13
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- Ham Sandwiches
- Jul 7, 2000
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The story is milder than the title would lead you to believe
[20 M] the girl I've been dating for about a year [20 F/T] came out as trans.
quote:(Small disclaimer: In case it triggers anyone, I still use "she" instead of something else because: 1. She does it (my language has 1st person gender distinction, and she refers to herself as female); 2. She came out only to me, and less than a day ago. I know her for 7 years, it's going to take some time and adjustments.)
As the title says, my biologically female girlfriend (born and still is one) for the last 1~ year told me that she is trans. She was boyish when I first met her in high school (Before puberty hit, but still), and had a male alter-ego which was pretty much an inside joke of ours, but nothing serious that should've indicated on anything, so it pretty much came out of the blue.
It all came up when I brought up the subject of sex. She had some bad experiences in the past, so she wanted to take it slow, which was fine by me. She told me that the reason we were not having sex was because she just doesn't feel fully comfortable with her vagina, because it doesn't feel like it belongs. In a perfect world she would probably consider hormone therapy (yet no surgery because it wouldn't be "the real thing" anyway), but her family is very religious and she doesn't want to lose them.
She will probably stay a biological female and a closeted trans for the foreseeable future. I really love her, and what she told me doesn't change it. After all, she is the same person I fell in love with. Nothing hasn't changed practically. I still want to be there for her, and we both love each other. It doesn't really makes me feel "gay" or something because she is biologically a female, and I'm not ashamed whatsoever with being attracted to her. She is also pretty submissive, so it doesn't change our dynamics or something.
What does bother me is the fact that it took her slightly more than a year to say something so important. Things are "as usual", but it is kind of an uncanny valley effect, like it's the same but something is off. It doesn't change a lot in our relationship, but it caught me off-guard,and it does have some implications. Firstly, what if she does go with hormone therapy? It is incredibly unlikely, but it is still a chance. She is someone I love, but I didn't sign up for this. I want to be there for her in that case, but not as a SO. Secondly, I know it is probably way more hard for her, but I can't help but feeling a little betrayed. This is just something I think you should tell the other person earlier in the relationship. Last but not least there is the matter of sex. She has been getting more comfortable with vaginal stimulation over the past couple of months, but no penetration and only "over the cloths" stuff. She wants to try anal before vaginal sex, and I'm kind of afraid that the pain will put her off from sex in general, leading to a relationship that severely lacks sex.
How do I deal with this? I'm really confused about this situation, and I'd like to hear your input about it. I want to support her, yet I'm having some doubts about the future of our relationship. This must be really hard for her, and I'm not planning on ending what's between us without trying, because we have an overall positive relationship. I just want some advice on how to deal with it all from people with more experience than me.
tl;dr: biologically female GF came out as a trans. She is not going to change her sex for various reasons, yet it kinda changes stuff.
I don't understand the biologically female and also trans thing, I really don't, like I tried to figure it out, she was born a woman or she was born a man, but has now transitioned so he's calling her biologically female to indicate that she's done transitioning? But she hasn't done hormone therapy?
Can someone more educated in trans nuance please explain this one to me
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Feb 3, 2018 20:30
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- CheesyDog
- Jul 4, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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The story is milder than the title would lead you to believe
[20 M] the girl I've been dating for about a year [20 F/T] came out as trans.
I don't understand the biologically female and also trans thing, I really don't, like I tried to figure it out, she was born a woman or she was born a man, but has now transitioned so he's calling her biologically female to indicate that she's done transitioning? But she hasn't done hormone therapy?
Can someone more educated in trans nuance please explain this one to me
Has a vagina but would rather it be a penis
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Feb 3, 2018 20:33
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- Ham Sandwiches
- Jul 7, 2000
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Has a vagina but would rather it be a penis
And is keeping the status quo but feels like a man? thanks, it was just confusing me
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Feb 3, 2018 20:34
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- subhuman filth
- Nov 1, 2006
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It's made incredibly, painstakingly clear on multiple occasions in the narrative
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Feb 3, 2018 21:01
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- Ham Sandwiches
- Jul 7, 2000
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It's made incredibly, painstakingly clear on multiple occasions in the narrative
Uhh in what way was the fact that it wasn't clear to me despite it being clear to you offending you that I asked for clarification?
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Feb 3, 2018 21:02
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- wizardofloneliness
- Dec 30, 2008
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Yeah, the guy says she literally just came out to him a day ago, so she may not be comfortable using male pronouns yet, plus it doesn’t sound like the family would be very supportive of that.
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Feb 3, 2018 21:13
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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[UPDATE] My [20F] Mom [50s] wants me to lie about my time in therapy. Am I wrong for being upset?
quote:
My original post: /r/relationships/comments/7qftj5/my_20f_mom_50s_wants_me_to_lie_about_my_time_in/
First of all I want to thank you all for being so great to me. I didn't expect to get any replies, but y'all really came through, thank you. Now I'm sure you want to hear the juicy details. (Quick trigger warning: i am going to include mean comments about eating disorders)
Well, things happened. There was a family festivity that I was supposed to go to and tell everybody about my "time abroad", which is just ridiculous. I texted my mom an told her that I can come and tell the teuth ir stay away and tell the truth, but either way, I would come clean with everybody and She. Freaked. Out.
She said some mean things before I went to therapy, but basically now she said that a stay abroad would explain how I had gotten so fat. (I'm not, btw, I just don't look bulimic anymore). That I should stay away because I was an embarrassment and a drama queen and that I was just doing it all to make her miserable. She told me that she liked when I was skinny and sweet and that "these so called doctors" messed me up and that I'm not her daughter anymore. How she wished she could just throw up and be thin and that I should be grateful to her for teaching me "food discipline", instead of making her life hell. And on and on and on, text after text for what felt like an eternity, until my dad took my phone away, because I was at a breaking point. I was still trying to justify myself, but he made me realize that there is nothing to justify on my part.
Stupidly enough my mom didn't just say these awful things to me. She texted them. So there is proof. All I did was screenshot the messages and send them to an aunt who I knew wouldn't take my moms bs and I guess after that it took less than an hour for all family members to be informed. My mom tried everything to make me look like a liar, but obviously it's hard to proof six months abroad without pictures, when I have so many from the clinic.
My mom has now blocked me everywhere and hasn't spoken to me or my dad, but my aunt said that she is furious, telling all kinds of people wierd, conflicting stories, all revolving about her suffering and,I guess, they have just stopped listening. Some have come forward in support of me, but most of them understandably just want to stay out this mess.
This is not the way I would have liked to resolve the issue. I thought we were old enough to not resort to petty screenshots and high school bullying tactics, but I guess sonetimes there is no other way. I'm glad I was honest, I am grateful that I have my dad and honestly, I'm glad, I aaked for your guys' opinions. You may not realize it, but you help alot.
I'm pretty sure that this is not over. I have hit my mom where it hurts the most: her pride. And she is not going to let this slide so easily. But you know what? I think I'm going to be fine.
Tl;dr: Told mom I wouldn't lie, she texted abuse, I sent out the screenshots and the truth came out
Mom’s an a-hole
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Feb 3, 2018 21:41
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- Danaru
- Jun 5, 2012
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何 ??
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[UPDATE] My [20F] Mom [50s] wants me to lie about my time in therapy. Am I wrong for being upset?
Mom’s an a-hole
Oh man just mainline this straight into my veins
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Feb 3, 2018 21:43
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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I don't understand the biologically female and also trans thing, I really don't, like I tried to figure it out, she was born a woman or she was born a man, but has now transitioned so he's calling her biologically female to indicate that she's done transitioning? But she hasn't done hormone therapy?
Can someone more educated in trans nuance please explain this one to me
Sometimes I forget straight people exist
quote:
(Small disclaimer: In case it triggers anyone, I still use "she" instead of something else because: 1. She does it (my language has 1st person gender distinction, and she refers to herself as female); 2. She came out only to me, and less than a day ago. I know her for 7 years, it's going to take some time and adjustments.)
The partner was born with a vagina (assigned female at birth "afab"). The partner would like to be a man (trans man). The partner has not yet fully come out and is not totally comfortable with male pronouns and identity. The OP is referring to their partner as "she" because this is what the partner is still doing, not yet being comfortable with identifying as male. Hope this helps
Edit whoops I guess it was already explained lol
Edit 2 murder the bulimia mom
girl pants fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Feb 3, 2018
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Feb 3, 2018 21:50
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- Peaceful Anarchy
- Sep 18, 2005
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sXe
I am the math man.
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The OP's partner is a woman who would like to live as a man but won't because their family would disapprove.
I wonder what language it is though. French? Russian?
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Feb 3, 2018 22:31
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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Lot of asian languages don't necessarily have direct gender pronouns for first person but there are ways of talking that would imply one way or the other about the speaker.
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Feb 3, 2018 22:41
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- Absurd Alhazred
- Mar 27, 2010
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by Athanatos
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I'm curious as well because first person gender distinction is not common at all, especially singular. I found this: http://wals.info/feature/44A#3/28.92/18.28 which lists only 18 potential languages, but the three I recognize don't fit (Arabic and Hebrew apparently have second person gender but not first person, Spanish only has first person gender in plural not singular). I guess more languages, like Spanish and French, have gendered adjectives which could indicate gender in the first person (e.g. "I'm leaving" has no gender distinction, but "I'm happy" does) so maybe that's what he's referring to.
That's not exactly true about Hebrew. There are no gender distinctions for first person in past and future tense, but in present tense there is.
There are a number of European languages where adjectives and/or nouns are generally gendered even when talking about yourself. In Russian (maybe other Slavic languages too) verbs are gendered in past tense. Having gendered "I" pronouns is pretty rare (Japanese and Thai kinda have it but afaik they also have gender neutral ones). That's all I can think of.
Yeah, the text isn't saying "pronoun", it's saying "my language has 1st person gender distinction". Hebrew also makes distinctions for adjectives and such.
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Feb 3, 2018 23:29
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- nerd plus rage
- May 12, 2014
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It's a metaphor for something, probably
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"I (25F) (non-white) think my bf(25M) (white) is really toxic, racist, very sexist, but denies everything" posted:
I need some help. Me and my bf have been dating for 1.5yrs. It started out great, I was, and still am, really in love with him. I felt the love from his side too initially, but I think over time he just hasn't grown up and does stupid and hurtful things. Theres a lot that has happened in the last 8-9 months... listing it below briefly: He's white, I'm brown. I never thought it bothered him. We went to a long trip together last summer, got into some fights, and somehow since that time he's mentioned "I wish you were white" "I know im right I'm white"...he says he's just kidding, and I've asked him explicitly if he wishes/regrets that I'm not white...he always says no...he's stopped saying "i wish u were white" , but if i say something good to him/complement him, he'll say "i know im white". He also calls chinese ppl 'chinks' and indians 'poos' and says he hates immigration so much and that all the non-whites should go back to their lovely countries. So thats his racist side.
Then there's his sexist side. We both work in tech, we're both engineers. He says that I don't deserve my job, and that I'm a diversity hire, only hired because I'm a female and of color, and it looks good on the company's reputation to add diversity. If he has work issues, i listen, and i try to offer suggestions and help out. If I have work issues, he says 'your work isnt important', and 'don't worry even if you gently caress up no one will fire you because you're a female'. I don't have a great self-esteem, and hearing him say all this all the time now has really, really damaged my confidence as well.
Then there's his side that always wants to find every opportunity to bring me down. I'm frugal, I don't really splurge on anything. So is my bf. But, he somehow sees this as an opportunity to really make me feel like crap about it. Everything i do, he thinks its because i want to save money, and he'll label me a 'cheap gently caress' because of it. Just tonight, i told him i ate so much cheese i don't feel like having dinner. He called me a cheap gently caress for binging on cheese to save money to buy dinner. I had already bought dinner. If I refund something at amazon, he laughs at me saying stop being so cheap. Like are you serious, I'm refunding because I don't want it. And this is the guy who cancelled him own amazon prime because he didn't want to pay some 10 bucks for it. If I try to cook, its because I'm cheap and don't want to spend money on dinner according to him
There are also some things I need to highlight Last year he was going through a rough time, he wasn't happy and said he needed time for himself. He eventually asked for a break. I loved him so much, and I was so, so hurt when we went on a break. It was so sudden and so hard.I felt I just needed sex to fell better, and well, we both hooked up with other people. It has been hard to get past that, and whenever we see the people we hooked up with, it is hard on the other one. We eventually did get back together after our break.
The months before we went on break, we had A LOT of fights. I moved a few weeks after him, and went to his place once I landed. The next day we got into a fight and in the middle of the night he threw my luggages out of his apartment....at some 3am or so. I had no other place to stay, and hotels were SO pricey and it was too late for that. I cried a lot that night, went to the airport clueless of what to do, then eventually he let me back in his place to sleep that night. I had sworn to myself i'd break up with this horrible person, but I couldn't.
He's not the only one at fault. After we got back together from our break, I was so insecure and hurt, that watching him look or complement other girls really really made me jealous and upset. One day i was hanging out with my friend, and my bf joined later. Later that night once we got back, he complemented how pretty my friend was. I was poo poo drunk that night, and as soon as he said that i was raging. I shouted on him as loudly as i ever have, thrashing everything that was in front of me. I left that night and slept at my place and next morning i felt horrible and apologized. He forgave me and understood. He's been good with that, dealing with my anger.
Ever since we've gotten back together from our break, I have been terribly insecure. Everytime he doesn't reply to my text right away, I think about the worst things in my head. I think I've said that I want to break up atleast once a week since we got back together
I also think i make way more effort into our relationship now than he does. If he has to wake up early - for work or anything else, I'm never bothered by that breaking my sleep and I stay over at his place regardless because I want to spend time with him. But if i have to wake up early, even if its half-hour early - he complains so much and never ever sleeps at my place if it bothers his sleep even 1%. Sometimes, if I'm going ti his place, he'd ask me to bring food...so id do that. I dare not ask that of him ever...he used to do this earlier, but would 100% compain if i asked that of him now.
Seeing all this, it seems so obvious I shouldn't be with this jerk..but there are still good times we share too. When we spend a friday night in cuddling and watching movies together, sometimes we'll go for brunch together or just shop/ do errands together. I love him and i like spending time with him, but he's just really not a good person in so many ways, and he doesnt wanna listen and/or try to improve.
What do I do? Do i break up? how? do i have a serious talk with him? (ive tried, it doesnt work), do we go on an open relationship? do we cut each other off? I don't know how to deal with this anymore and it's emotionally draining me
tl;dr: My bf is becoming racist, sexist, tries to bring me down, does not listen if i try to talk, has not grown as a person in the last 1.5 yrs we've been together, I've become very insecure about our relationship, he's thrown my luggages out of his house, I've pushed his stuff on the ground in anger and we've gotten into a lot of fights. But I still love him...what do I do?
twu wuv 
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Feb 4, 2018 00:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 15, 2024 08:46
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- Palpek
- Dec 27, 2008
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Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.
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It's 2018 everybody:
Guy (32M) at work who is flirting with me (27F) is beginning to turn me off with his memes.
quote:Yes, memes.
So I began to work at this company only about two months ago. He and I work on the same floor but in different sections, which means we rarely see or talk to each other other than passing by in the corridor.
When we first met, it was only a hi, where are you from? kinda interaction. And he is one of those guys who seem awfully quiet and shy (which I actually like, especially with guys who are otherwise quite masculine like him).
However, some time ago, he popped me a work-related question on the company messanger and we began to chat. He turned out to be very funny and witty. So we continued and it turned into a flirting. But we didn't go out on a date or anything; just some small talks during some casual company events like nothing is happening because, you know, people talk. But behind their backs, we began to develop some serious interest in each other.
So numbers were exchanged last week (he was shy) and...that's where the problem began. This smart and quiet guy turns out to have a rather....what I consider cringey sense of humor and sends me these incredibly lame memes on a daily basis. Easily 10 per day...and they are so, so cringey, unfunny to me.
I used to find myself smitten with the romantic potential with him, but, now I find myself losing interest. Yet, he seems to be still excited about me.
He asked me out on a date next weekend, I said yes (because... I believe this deserves a second chance? And because things have been building up and it would be too cold to blow him off suddenly..)but I am less excited now than I would have been a week ago.
Like I said, we work on the same floor and we pass by each other quite often.
What should I do? Should I tell him I don't like those memes?
Tl;dr: I began to flirt with a guy at my new job and developed mutual interest. But I am quickly losing my feelings because of his obssession with lame memes. What to do?
EDIT: So, I just googled "meme meme" hoping there would be a meme about memes. Quite a few funny ones, which I furiously saved.
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Feb 4, 2018 00:39
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Feb 3, 2018 03:42
