/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Skutter posted:

My [21 F] good friend [23 F] is dating a [32 M] sex offender and I don't know how I can remain her friend

I'd just set the dude on fire right after walking into the party and then have a long talk with your friend about how she should really never date sex offenders who are 9 years her senior.

# ? Feb 7, 2018 23:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 21:55

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Kak posted:

Way to get married in your early 20s

# ? Feb 7, 2018 23:56

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Skutter posted:

My [21 F] good friend [23 F] is dating a [32 M] sex offender and I don't know how I can remain her friend

La Brea Carpet posted:

I [32F] tell myself my BF's [41M] red flags aren't a big deal, but my friends say otherwise.

Gonna guess physics grad student

quote:

He's a wonderful man

Hahahahahahahaha

# ? Feb 7, 2018 23:59

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I am not a lawyer but everything in that story says to my lay understnding they wouldnt be qualified for it and your friend should lawyer up.

Something a lot of people dont get is that alimony a) has been declining in the us and b) is not always for life; its often for a set period while someone finishes training/school or gets back on their feet but the younger/faster you divorce the better the odds.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:08

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

Barudak posted:

I am not a lawyer but everything in that story says to my lay understnding they wouldnt be qualified for it and your friend should lawyer up.

Something a lot of people dont get is that alimony a) has been declining in the us and b) is not always for life; its often for a set period while someone finishes training/school or gets back on their feet but the younger/faster you divorce the better the odds.

Not in the US, and she probably could lawyer up and protect her self and finally get properly divorced, but the status quo right now is ok and she just doesn't have the time or money to go through what could be a very messy divorce if he chose to make it so.

Also her boyfriend gets to be living with a married woman.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:12

Hello Ketene: Dec 30, 2011

I (36F) am at my parents (~60) with my boyfriend (34M), they are slowly killing themselves and I�m ashamed of them.

quote:

I�m sorry this is going to be very long, I need to rant but I also would like pieces of advice, if possible.

I�m at my parent�s with my boyfriend, we live in another country and we couldn�t come for Christmas, my mom insisted (like asking every other day) on visiting them because they missed me so much. I love them and it�s the house where I grow up so I have a lot of memory but EVERY time I come to their place I�m more and more ashamed of them. It�s a lot of stupid things and maybe I�m being petty, but I�m coming to the point where I am ashamed to bring my boyfriend over.

Last year the situation was slightly better: my dad was retired and he had his routine: doing some chores, buying grocery, taking care of my granddad, taking care of the garden. Last February, one year ago, my grandfather died and at the same time, my mum retired too. We had a long talk where I told her that if they wanted to survive, living 24h/24 together, she really needed to do something. I told her that spending every free second in front of the computer playing stupid Facebook games, with the TV on just to make noise, was not healthy, I told her that they�re old and they just can�t smoke two packs a day and eat carbs, oil, butter, cream, fried stuff every day. She told me that she was really looking for her retirement, that she was excited to start walking more, maybe go to yoga class with my aunt, that she had a lot to take care at the house and not to worry too much as she had plans!

That was in February. In May my parents visited us in our country, my boyfriend's mum was at our place at the same time. She�s quite fit and my parents are very overweight, so we ended up doing a lot of separate things as they couldn�t walk for more than 10 minutes. I had to carry them everywhere with the car as they couldn�t even walk to the house (we�re in a small hill) At home, we eat quite healthy (but tasty!!) so it was a good opportunity to show them that another way of eating is possible and they can eat well without tons of oil and pasta every day. When they left, my mum said she realized she was much less fit than that my SO's mum (they are the same age) and she would have tried to walk more.

It didn't work, they didn't change ANYTHING.

Now, we've been at their place for a week. We have, as every year, brought a Christmas present. They, like every year, made a surprised face and "oops, we did not get you anything". It's a stupid problem but I haven't received a gift in more than 5 years.
Every drat room in this house, two living rooms, kitchen, my former room which is now a studio, stink of cigarette all the time. Boyfriend and I have a sore throat every night just for breathing passive smoke. You can hear my mum breathing hard (the same as me after 30 minutes running) from the other side of the house. For gently caress sake, they are two, they must acknowledge there is something bad in the way she's breathing. There was a time when they smoked outside. Now that they have two floors available they smoke in EVERY room on the two floors. Two packages a day, each. My aunt was treated for a tumor last year, I was hoping this would scare them a little. It didn't.

For a week, I had to fight for eating a little bit healthy because they eat fats, carbohydrates, cream, butter and oil twice a day. Yesterday my boyfriend offered to cook, he prepared curry sauteed vegetables with quinoa, my father REFUSED to eat. If I try to tell them to prepare what they like and that I can make myself a salad, they just laugh and make fun of me. They are sixty years old and on the verge of obesity.

Last year I pointed out to my father that it makes no sense to run a dishwasher a day if it's not full, that maybe they can wait to fill it up and run it every other day. His answer: "we're used to do like that, mind your own business". Now they run TWO every day, one in the morning and one in the evening, with more or less two dishes and two glasses each.

Last night I went in the kitchen and the fire on the gas cooker was on with no pan on it. I asked why and they answer that my dad likes to do that when he�s cold.. WTF. They were laughing like it was something SO funny.

Of course, my mother never went to yoga and spent 90% of her day in front of the computer playing Facebook games and smoking.

I have tried to talk to them kindly, they just laugh and make fun of me saying that's the way they are used to. I have tried to talk to them a little less kindly, they whine and tell me I'm mean.

My SO is VERY supportive and he's the only reason we're still here (we're leaving tomorrow!) but I can see he's pissed, he can't breathe, he HATES the smell everywhere. I'm pissed AND scared as I'm their only child and I live abroad, what is going to happen when their health will deteriorate? I don't want to come back to my home country to live, but will I have a choice when they won't be self-sufficient anymore?

I feel totally helpless, I do not know what to do for hem to wake up. Talking doesn't help, showing them how much they are unfit doesn't work. They have even faced cancer with my aunt and it didn't scare them enough. Is there ANYTHING I can do?

tl;dr: My parents live a very unhealthy life and they are slowly killing themselves. I live in another country and I'm very scared as they won't listen and they don't realise how bad things are. Is there something I can do?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:19

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Esoteric Scientist posted:

I (36F) am at my parents (~60) with my boyfriend (34M), they are slowly killing themselves and I�m ashamed of them.

Accept it and move on.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:23

Ham Sandwiches: Jul 7, 2000

Esoteric Scientist posted:

I (36F) am at my parents (~60) with my boyfriend (34M), they are slowly killing themselves and I�m ashamed of them.

I got really annoyed by the bitching and it wasn't even directed at me, what a loving tiresome person

"here is an itemized list of all the ways my elderly parents choose to enjoy their retirement that I don't approve of"

Why the gently caress does she have an opinion on how often they run the dishwasher, in the same tone that the rest of the post is written about OMG SECONDHAND SMOKE, and is like really loving angry that her parents don't understand correct dishwasher operation? Fuuuuuck

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:28

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

There's no way they survive retirement because that's not a thing. Death is the finish line.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:31

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

If they don't exercise at all and are obese or near it, both smoke two packs a day and don't eat remotely healthily, then they're in for a world of horrible medical conditions and very likely death in the next 10-15 years. Which will probably make their retirement and final years miserable. Her heart is in the right place, but if people don't want to change, they won't. Old people especially.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:40

Bunni-kat: May 25, 2010; Service Desk B-b-bunny...
How can-ca-caaaaan I
help-p-p-p you?

Rubellavator posted:

There's no way they survive retirement because that's not a thing. Death is the finish line.

It�s a saying because a lot of people just fall the gently caress apart after retiring because they lose their routine, social circle, and purpose. A staggering number of people literally live to work.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 00:51

Motronic: Nov 6, 2009

boner confessor posted:

oh for sure

sovcit is what happens when you get an uneducated white guy who doesn't realize how dumb he is and is also incapable of understanding or accepting that he is wrong

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrB2cHF9lVs

The prefect ending to any sovcit video is always going to be a bailiff yelling "TASER TASER TASER".

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:07

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Motronic posted:

The prefect ending to any sovcit video is always going to be a bailiff yelling "TASER TASER TASER".

Anyone have that video where the Sovcit Guy was filming, was a dick to a dude saying �you�re just a bailiff� then tried to enter the courtroom and when he was rebuffed, read the one guy�s name tag and said something like �Well B. Daniels, I don�t have to listen to you� then our main man B. Daniels shot him with a taser?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:16

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

LadyPictureShow posted:

Anyone have that video where the Sovcit Guy was filming, was a dick to a dude saying �you�re just a bailiff� then tried to enter the courtroom and when he was rebuffed, read the one guy�s name tag and said something like �Well B. Daniels, I don�t have to listen to you� then our main man B. Daniels shot him with a taser?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfVbiefMdNU

"I don't have a last name. I don't have a first name, either. I've got a name. My name is Robert."

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:20

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

LadyPictureShow posted:

Anyone have that video where the Sovcit Guy was filming, was a dick to a dude saying �you�re just a bailiff� then tried to enter the courtroom and when he was rebuffed, read the one guy�s name tag and said something like �Well B. Daniels, I don�t have to listen to you� then our main man B. Daniels shot him with a taser?

how dare you forget P. Barnes

(the P is for Pete)

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:20

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

YeahTubaMike posted:

this reminds me of the time i passed a dude (who had always been nice to me, fwiw) a note to ask him out, then later on he gathered a group of his friends, read the note aloud to them in a silly voice, then tore it up & spat on it

i found out from a mutual acquaintance that he was, and i quote, "a proud racist", and he also later co-founded a young republicans afterschool club, so

having him tell me to my face that he didn't date blacks would have felt a lot better, tbh

jfc dude what's wrong with people

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:26

cowofwar: Jul 30, 2002; by Athanatos

Moridin920 posted:

jfc dude what's wrong with people

Their lovely parents.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:32

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Long live the name P. Barnes, and woe to those who forsake him.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:45

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

Moridin920 posted:

jfc dude what's wrong with people

I think most people feel like they can eventually give away all the anger and pain that was given to them, and justify who they give it to by convincing themselves that person "deserves" it

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:48

UZR IS BULLSHIT: Jan 25, 2004

La Brea Carpet posted:

[NC] Employer drug tested me, and also gave me a pregnancy test...?

Every lawyer in a 100-mile radius just felt a disturbance in the force, as if millions of dollars had cried out at once.

Miscarriages are often harder on the employee than the employer

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:58

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

chitoryu12 posted:

Borderline personality disorder is basically having a mental disorder that makes you a self-destructive rear end in a top hat permanently. Emotional instability, anger management problems, inappropriate sexual behavior, acting out for attention, freaking out at any possibility of “rejection”, etc.

lol shut the gently caress up

# ? Feb 8, 2018 01:59

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

boner confessor posted:

how dare you forget P. Barnes

(the P is for Pete)

Shiiiiiiit. I am so so so disappointed in myself now.

Thanks for posting it Admiral Ray!

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:04

YeahTubaMike: Mar 24, 2005; *hic* Gotta finish thish . . .; Doctor Rope

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [24 /F] with my husband [35M], married 5 yrs. I feel like a slave.

why the gently caress would you marry someone who wouldn't have sex with you

why would you stay married to someone who wouldn't have sex with you after even just one year of marriage :psyduck:

Moridin920 posted:

jfc dude what's wrong with people

i have no idea, the town i went to high school in was garbage

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:18

nerd plus rage: May 12, 2014; It's a metaphor for something, probably

My favorite sovcit video is the one where the dialogue goes like

"Call the police!"

:cop:

"We are the police"

"No" :saddowns:

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:41

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Dienes posted:

Angela was raised 100% by (literate, well-educated) humans and didn't meet her father until she was a (literate) adult. This was Season 2, you have no excuse.

I haven't re-watched the series since college, which was actually a way I bonded with some new friends (yay), but this thread is making me miss it. It's by far the greatest soap opera ever. I know I called it "its own fanfiction" but really it's just a soap opera. But such a good one.

"A half-Native American, half African-American New York City supercop, with a snarky sense of humor but a heart of gold, falls in love with a gigantic, noble barbaric creature (STONE BY DAY, WARRIORS BY NIGHT) who loves reading poetry. Can they ever be together?! And can they ever survive the machinations of a world full of robot clones, laser guns, and time-traveling wizard Nice Guys? A shapeshifting gay elf and busty ex-wife have something to say about it. Tune in next time to see a bald man in a hovercraft decide not to culturally appropriate Polish Jews."

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:51

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

The Snoo posted:

lol shut the gently caress up

Sorry you got diagnosed with BPD.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:55

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Pick posted:

I haven't re-watched the series since college, which was actually a way I bonded with some new friends (yay), but this thread is making me miss it. It's by far the greatest soap opera ever. I know I called it "its own fanfiction" but really it's just a soap opera. But such a good one.

"A half-Native American, half African-American New York City supercop, with a snarky sense of humor but a heart of gold, falls in love with a gigantic, noble barbaric creature (STONE BY DAY, WARRIORS BY NIGHT) who loves reading poetry. Can they ever be together?! And can they ever survive the machinations of a world full of robot clones, laser guns, and time-traveling wizard Nice Guys? A shapeshifting gay elf and busty ex-wife have something to say about it. Tune in next time to see a bald man in a hovercraft decide not to culturally appropriate Polish Jews."

You're making me want to actually watch Gargoyles when I've got the time.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:56

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

big penis disease

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:56

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

PetraCore posted:

You're making me want to actually watch Gargoyles when I've got the time.

Literally every single thing in that description is real.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 02:57

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

chitoryu12 posted:

Me [24 /F] with my husband [35M], married 5 yrs. I feel like a slave.

The first reply:

loving "allow him to die in a way some might consider suspicious", jesus, this isn't hard.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:16

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

loquacius posted:

So, in every single instance where a divorced man has to pay alimony, his ex was a homemaker?

I don't know that much about alimony but my sis had to pay child support to her ex husband even though custody was 50/50 because he was a lazy pile of poo poo that refused to work. She worked for the fuckin library making like 35k a year and was paying child support even with joint custody. The judge did at least presume that he was capable of getting a minimum wage job and factored that into the child support calculations, but fuckin jesus, come on.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:22

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Here's a light one:

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] of two years won't take off his sunglasses

quote:

He got himself aviator sunglasses back in January and now he literally wears them all the time. Every single time we go outside even when it's already dark and sometimes even inside. I swear he would sleep with them if he wasn't afraid of actually damaging them.

I asked him why he's constantly wearing them and he told me that they make him look cooler. While I agree that they look pretty good I still don't think he has to wear them all the time.

Over the last year he lost quite a bit of weight, like around 70 pounds, and since then he has become slightly obsessed with clothes and being fashionable. He dresses up pretty much every day and also goes to the hairstylist much more frequently than he used to. But constantly wearing sunglasses is still annoying, especially in winter, it just looks a bit strange and when I tell him so he doesn't believe me.

tl;dr: Boyfriend got aviator sunglasses back in January and now almost wears them all the time.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:22

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Admiral Ray posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfVbiefMdNU

"I don't have a last name. I don't have a first name, either. I've got a name. My name is Robert."

poo poo never gets old. SovCit youtube owns are a national treasure.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:24

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

Haifisch posted:

Here's a light one:

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] of two years won't take off his sunglasses

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2LTL8KgKv8

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:25

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Haifisch posted:

Here's a light one:

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] of two years won't take off his sunglasses

Pretty sure this one is gonna solve itself by her getting dumped unless she's also had a significant weight loss. There's like a 0.1% chance that "started dressing nice, started getting his hair cut every month, started bathing regularly" isn't because as soon as he finds a sufficient "upgrade" he's gonna ditch her.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:28

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Me [25f] with my boyfriend of 2 years [24m] and I are having a bad argument over sunglasses

quote:

So, My boyfriend and I are amazing. We love each other, we're compatible, he's recently been helping me through A LOT of poo poo, and I've always deemed him to make really good, thought out decisions... until now!!

My boyfriend, we'll call him Jim, recently won something at his work where he can buy either an Ipad up to 500 dollars, or really expensive Sunglasses.... and they'll reimburse him for the money.

What would YOU choose?? A free, NEW Ipad air... or loving sunglasses?! I obviously expected him to be like BOOM Ipad yes. but he's like "I think I might take the sunglasses..." and I'm like "WHAT". I don't get it. We've had arguments about this. Yes I KNOW it's HIS decision and HE won it through HIS work... but I can't get over how loving stupid of a choice it is.

You can get expensive sunglasses anytime... he'd have bought some anyways without this chance... but he's getting an Ipad just handed to him and he'd rather 200 dollars sunglasses than a 500 dollar Ipad! It's completely ridiculous!

If he already has an Ipad then FINE, take the Sunglasses! (Even though I'd take the Ipad, SELL IT, and use some of that money to buy Sunglasses AND have money left over) but nope he wants the sunglasses. Mind you, he has a phone that he uses for web browsing and such and a really REALLY lovely OLD laptop with TONS of virus's; you can't watch netflix or stream shows without a million popups, this Ipad can do wonders for him, but I feel he's just so superficial that he wants the sunglasses to look loving cool.

I just don't know what to say. Am I overacting?? Ultimately it IS his decision and I'm not going to break up with him if he does choose the sunglasses because I'm not crazy, but I will be super mega disappointed in his decision making.

So again, am I being a huge bitch?? Or is he making the wrong dumb choice?? and I'd be lying if I said that yeah... I TOTALLY WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD TO PLAYING WITH IT TOO -_-

EDIT: I see I am getting a lot of negative reactions and judgy replies which I deserve. But I am just trying to be frank here, here comes a sad sob story. I grew up EXTREMELY poor. I worked hard to get where I am today.... which is still poor however. I am very frugal with my money, so when someone just hands you a free Ipad, you take it! Especially since you already have nice sunglasses. So I'm sorry if everyone thinks I am a terrible terrible person, I'm not screaming at him and ripping my hair out. I just want to know if he's making a dumb choice considering everything I just said, but I see everyone is just going to jump on the you're a bitch train so, I guess I know the answer.

TLDR: Boyfriend and I are having a fight about whether he should take free sunglasses or a free Ipad. He wants the sunglasses but I think that's a really stupid choice, even though yes it IS his to make. but it's stupid.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:34

Jeffrey of YOSPOS: Dec 22, 2005; GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS

veiled boner fuel posted:

Pretty sure this one is gonna solve itself by her getting dumped unless she's also had a significant weight loss. There's like a 0.1% chance that "started dressing nice, started getting his hair cut every month, started bathing regularly" isn't because as soon as he finds a sufficient "upgrade" he's gonna ditch her.

That's a pretty dark first response to someone showing some self-improvement. Maybe the OP entering his life gave him a reason to live again. The reasons to start exercising and dressing better kinda speak for themselves.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 03:36

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

Streak posted:

Because she'll probably kill herself and it'll be THEIR FAULT!!!!

That's when you call the cops. I doubt there are many people with borderline personality disorder who would make a suicide attempt without notifying the entire world, if possible.

Before I met her, my BPD roommate wrote very nice letters to people on facebook as she downed a bottle of sleeping pills. One of her Facebook friends is a cop. There's still a crack in the door frame from cops breaking down the door.

She seriously wanted to die, so it wasn't crying wolf, but she still felt the need to use whatever time she had left to seek attention, which was a good thing, in my case, since it means she's still alive.

Pretty sure a break up is what precipitated the attempt, even though the way she tells the story, the guy didn't break up until after she got out of the hospital. She has a habit of rewriting how events occur to make herself look less bad.

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:01

ElectroMagneticJosh: Oct 13, 2006; Lets Volt In!!

Haifisch posted:

Here's a light one:

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] of two years won't take off his sunglasses

So she's dating the Corinthinian now?

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 21:55

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Haifisch posted:

Me [25f] with my boyfriend of 2 years [24m] and I are having a bad argument over sunglasses

It's kind of none of her business particularly considering it sounds like she's gonna become the defacto owner of it immediately but if it really is a 500 vs 200 dollar thing I don't really get why he wouldn't just take the higher value thing and sell it/return it to get some extra free money.

That's also an oddly specific reward, "you can have some an ipad or raybans of your choice".

# ? Feb 8, 2018 04:59

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

«‹›6020 »