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I once did a fairytale storytime for a group of preschoolers and one kid asked me if the prince and princess died. I had no idea how to answer that. So now I end each story like that with "And they lived happily and well, and as far as I know they are living still."
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Jan 16, 2018 22:39
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omnibobb posted:I was talking to my son tonight and he told me he was happy for the long weekend and I asked if he knew why it was a long weekend and he said "yeah, its martin luther king junior day." I asked him if he knew why mlk jr gets a day to honor him and he said "yeah, he stopped bad things from happening to brown people." "What kind of things?" I asked.
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Jan 16, 2018 23:24
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pookel posted:I may have mentioned this in the thread when it happened, but ... for MLK Day a few years back, my kid's 2nd grade class did "I have a dream" worksheets where they were supposed to write about their dreams for making the world a better place. One little girl must not have quite understood the assignment, or what the Civil Rights movement was about, because she wrote "I have a dream that one day, black people can go to Hobby Lobby." That's both terrible and adorable.  
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Jan 16, 2018 23:26
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From the most eager and slightly goonish kid in the 2nd grade I had today- Why do we all have sweet tooths? Why Because we all have GUMMMMMMs
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Jan 17, 2018 01:31
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One of the ELL students in second grade came up with the following acrostic poem. I think he misunderstood what he was supposed to write about: S is for SCHOOL C is for CONDOM (I discreetly asked him to change this. He changed it to "cat.") H is for HI POOP O is for OVAL O is for OU (????) L is for LAZ (I worked out that this is the invisible twin of a student with a similar name.) Speaking of "Laz," his was my favorite: S is for SQUARE PRISON C is for COAT H is for HORRIBLE O is for OH HI MR. POOP O is for OMG SCHOOL IS SO BAD L is for LAUGH "Laz" has ADD and school is pretty rough for him sometimes, but this was the best poem in the whole class. He spelled everything right except for "square," which is pretty impressive when you consider that English is his third language. E: Oh, I turned it over and he wrote another acrostic using his name: L is for LOOK A is for A LOT OF CANDY Z is for ZOO That loving rules.
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Jan 31, 2018 14:06
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J: Miss Fleta, why don't you like Taylor Swift? ME: I just don't like her style of music. J: Do you like Justin Bieber? ME: Ew, no. J: Do you like Beyoncé? ME: Not really. J: Ugh! YOU ARE RUINING MY LIFE! ME: I didn't know I was so important to you. J: I CAN'T BELIEVE TODAY!
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Feb 6, 2018 14:21
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:J: I CAN'T BELIEVE TODAY! 
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Feb 6, 2018 14:49
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The first graders also did an acrostic this week: ME: O IS next. Who has an idea for O? KID: "Oh, no!" ME: That's a good start. Why do we sometimes say "oh, no!" at school? KID 2: "Oh, no, my butt is a pizza!" KID 3: "Oh, no, my penis fell out!" I think we went with "oh, no, I spilled my milk."
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Feb 6, 2018 15:30
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To be fair, "oh no!" is an accurate reaction to either of those situations.
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Feb 7, 2018 02:00
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A kid I work with's family came to the restaurant that me and my partner were dining, and of course he wanted to spend a few minutes excitedly telling me of all the events of the few hours between me saying goodbye to him at work and right now. That is, until he got a look at our bartender, after which he asked me to pick him up so he could ask me a "secret question" in my ear. The question? "Is her butt pretty?" I gave him a brief reminder of the various and sundry "don't judge people by how they look" lessons we've incidentally had during our time together, and sent him back to his family.  Kid, you are five, and I am not the kind of person who desires to set people on paths of rear end preference.
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Feb 8, 2018 06:25
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The witness is directed to answer the question.
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Feb 8, 2018 07:51
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MisterBibs posted:A kid I work with's family came to the restaurant that me and my partner were dining, and of course he wanted to spend a few minutes excitedly telling me of all the events of the few hours between me saying goodbye to him at work and right now. That is, until he got a look at our bartender, after which he asked me to pick him up so he could ask me a "secret question" in my ear. I mean, is it?
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Feb 8, 2018 14:05
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Trans-LoafWithTail posted:I mean, is it? Sure, she's got a nice rear end as far as my preferences go, but I don't want to teach my kids to objectify like that. The world will do it soon enough.
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Feb 8, 2018 19:01
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Six-year-old daughter: "These bookmarks look like sperm"
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Feb 8, 2018 19:07
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MisterBibs posted:, she's got a nice rear end as far as my preferences go, Nice objectification
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Feb 9, 2018 01:23
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oldpainless posted:Nice objectification He already absolved himself of that by passing the blame onto the nebulous "world"
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Feb 9, 2018 15:59
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Me to 3 yo nephew: Bye bye, Eli. I love you. Eli: Yeah.
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Feb 9, 2018 19:37
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Me to my 7 year old niece: "Oh, you're wearing your Elsa dress today, huh?" Niece: "Yeah, but I'm wearing a bow in my hair, so I'm not the real Elsa, I'm the fashionable Elsa."
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Feb 11, 2018 23:27
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Hopes Fall posted:Me to 3 yo nephew: Bye bye, Eli. I love you. SiL to 2yo nephew: do you want to say goodbye? Nephew: no (but in that voice you use when you're not really listening) ((tablets are a scourge)) Nephew: A mil? A mil? Anyone: Milk? Nephew: Ok (in that tone as if you've just offered him milk)
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Feb 11, 2018 23:48
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Second grader's haiku today: Butts jump in my butt Butts jump here, there, everywhere My butt is crazy
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Feb 16, 2018 11:49
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Second grader's haiku today: Butt jump riot (Riot) Push a butt up your fat old butt SWING MUSIC IS BACK, BABY
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Feb 16, 2018 13:47
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:Second grader's haiku today: Chuck Tingle fever is worldwide, yeah! 
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Feb 16, 2018 14:15
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My nephew's new favourite joke: Why do flamingos stand with one leg in the air? Because if it lifts both legs it falls down and break it's eggs!
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Feb 16, 2018 16:21
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BattyKiara posted:My nephew's new favourite joke: lmeo (laughing my eggs off)
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Feb 16, 2018 21:14
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My daughter made some pretty awesome arts and crafts stuff so I praised her for her creativity. Her reply: "Yeah, I'm smart like a Troodon." [long pause] "Well, maybe not that smart."
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Feb 23, 2018 18:50
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I had to supervise a group of kids the other day and they quizzed me on why I don't have children of my own. "So you're all alone?" "No, I have a husband." "Are you married to your husband?"
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Feb 23, 2018 19:52
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U-DO Burger posted:My daughter made some pretty awesome arts and crafts stuff so I praised her for her creativity. Her reply: Is there a TV show that features troodon these days? Your daughters throwing down some sick dinosaur knowledge. (Either way)
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Feb 26, 2018 10:00
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I’m guessing Dinosaur Train.
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Feb 26, 2018 13:16
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Yup, Dinosaur Train, though she also used to binge watch Dino Dan. She also just likes sitting and reading through dinosaur encyclopedias so yeah she knows way more dinosaur names than I ever did. And whenever the gap in our knowledge shows she has to rub it in. She has shamed me for the following dino failures: - I called Dimetrodon a dinosaur - I misidentified a giganotosaurus as a T-rex (the T-rex apparently has fewer claws on its hand) - I thought she was pretending to be a pachycephalosaurus when she was actually a stygimoloch
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Feb 26, 2018 18:07
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Subjunctive posted:I’m guessing Dinosaur Train. I’ve seen that porno
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Feb 26, 2018 18:14
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oh right the dino talk made me remember something that happened yesterday. My daughter (age 6) was cleaning up her art supplies and I started looking through the pictures she drew. Two stood out. Picture 1 - A drawing of our whole family. My wife was saying "You have school," to which my daughter and son replied "YAY!" I gave a half-hearted "Yay......." for some reason, and the baby was just kinda there doing nothing. Picture 2 - A drawing of a classroom filled with dinosaur children. It was a very detailed picture, featuring shelves lined with toys in the background. The dinosaur kids were all sitting in a circle, each of them holding a book. At the head of the circle, a standing pteranodon shouts "DESTROY THE SCHOOOOOOL!!"
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Feb 26, 2018 19:10
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We've been watching a lot of PJ Masks lately, which has caused my son to define the primary colours as "same as Gecko", "same as Owlette" and "same as Cat Boy". So now the three books of Marx' Das Kapital I have in the library are "Gecko", "Owlette" and "Cat Boy" respectively, since the covers are green, red and blue. We were also sitting in the car today, talking about what he did at day care (a sort of twenty questions affair when it comes to a 2.5 year old, with varying degrees of coherent answers), when he said something that I still can't understand what he actually meant, but which came out as bizarrely philosophical: "This isn't my world, it is only one morning". I asked him what he meant, but he was busy contemplating a skipping rope tied to a bicycle stand outside.
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Feb 26, 2018 20:54
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oldpainless posted:I’ve seen that porno Whoa they made a prequel to Dinosaur Hoverboard?
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Feb 26, 2018 22:15
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U-DO Burger posted:Picture 2 - A drawing of a classroom filled with dinosaur children. It was a very detailed picture, featuring shelves lined with toys in the background. The dinosaur kids were all sitting in a circle, each of them holding a book. At the head of the circle, a standing pteranodon shouts "DESTROY THE SCHOOOOOOL!!"
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Feb 28, 2018 06:35
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Aunt Beth posted:You should post this
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Feb 28, 2018 08:15
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Aunt Beth posted:You should post this
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Feb 28, 2018 08:26
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Sounds better than the creepy slender man "moon girl"that turned up on our whiteboard yesterday.
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Feb 28, 2018 08:50
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Okay okay here we go.
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Feb 28, 2018 18:17
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U-DO Burger posted:Okay okay here we go. I think it's meant to be "this schoollllll" which is even better. I would put that on my refrigerator and never ever take it down.
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Feb 28, 2018 18:20
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| # ? May 22, 2024 19:07 |
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U-DO Burger posted:Okay okay here we go. Ohmigosh, frame this!
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Feb 28, 2018 18:45
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