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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
:siren: https://twitter.com/49erholics/status/960601224272740352 :siren:

:dance: :circlefap: :dance: :homebrew: :dance: :swoon: :dance:



Also:
:f5:

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seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
God drat, Handsome Jimmy gonna get a poo poo ton of money on half a season of work.

In other news: https://deadspin.com/jeff-fisher-must-be-arrested-and-tried-for-his-crimes-a-1822733338

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Be a real shame if he Matt Flynn's it up

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Looks like those rumors of Russell Wilson getting traded were real :haw:

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

seiferguy posted:

Looks like those rumors of Russell Wilson getting traded were real :haw:

You laugh now, but he's getting a taste of that NY media market.

Schwack
Jan 31, 2003

Someone needs to stop this! Sherman has lost his mind! Peyton is completely unable to defend himself out there!

seiferguy posted:

Looks like those rumors of Russell Wilson getting traded were real :haw:

I was in a meeting when I got the notification.

Not gonna lie, I got a little bit of tunnel vision while my phone was unlocking.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Far it be from me to take this thread's attention away from Handsome Jimmy, but we got free agency around the corner and some cap magic to play. I'll just take a quick look at each team's situation and where they stand right now.

Cap and FA info via Spotrac and Over The Cap

Arizona Cardinals

Cap space: $22.714 million

Notable free agents: Justin Bethel, Tyvon Branch, Karlos Dansby, Drew Stanton, John Brown, Jaron Brown, Alex Boone

Top draft picks: 15, 47, 79

Analysis: The Cards need a QB stat, and they probably don't have the cap space to make a run for Cousins. And unless they have enough draft capital to move up for a top prospect, GM Steve Keim and new coach Steve Wilks have to get creative here. Best guess is that they sign a bridge veteran and try to go for one more playoff run with an aging roster.

Los Angeles Rams

Cap space: $40.989 million

Notable free agents: Trumaine Johnson, Sammy Watkins, LaMarcus Joyner, Connor Barwin

Top draft picks: 23, 56, 87

Analysis: LA doesn't have many glaring needs, but keeping Johnson and Watkins should be a top priority, and they also need to keep Aaron Donald happy. The reigning Defensive Player of the Year has earned a mega-extension, and I'll be surprised if they don't work one out. Otherwise, I expect the Rams to stay the course and use the draft to keep building up an up-and-coming core.

San Francisco 49ers

Cap space: $113.872 million

Notable free agents: Eric Reid, Carlos Hyde, Jimmy Garoppolo

Top draft picks: 9 or 10, 41 or 43, 74 or 75

Analysis: JIMMY G NEEDS WEAPONS ... is only a half-joking take. As thrilling as the 49ers' second-half surge was, they still have a lot of roster holes that need filled if they hope to be taken seriously as 2018 playoff contenders. Still, they have more than enough space to re-sign Jimmy and get the free agents Kyle Shanahan wants, while using high draft picks to John Lynch's pleasure. The Niners have a lot of interesting angles here -- go for it with Jimmy, take a more patient rebuilding approach, or try both? It'll be a fascinating offseason to follow.

Seattle Seahawks

Cap space: $14.123 million

Notable free agents: Jimmy Graham, Sheldon Richardson, DeShawn Shead, Paul Richardson

Top draft picks: 18, 49

Analysis: For the first time in the Pete Carroll era, the Seahawks are facing a serious reckoning of their future. The Super Bowl-winning core has reached real age peaks, where "cut him a year a year too early or a year too late" becomes a genuine question. That goes for Kam Chancellor, Michael Bennett, Cliff Avril, and possibly even Richard Sherman and Earl Thomas. Carroll obviously knows the stakes, cleaning out his coaching staff and replacing them with men who more closely follow his vision. But is his vision (including new OC Brian Schottenheimer, which I still wish I was making up) too outdated for today's NFL? Or does he have one final trick up his sleeve? One way or the other, the Legion of Boom's days are numbered. I can only hope there's a smooth transition period coming.

Benne fucked around with this message at 09:20 on Feb 8, 2018

shirts and skins
Jun 25, 2007

Good morning!

Coldforge posted:

You laugh now, but he's getting a taste of that NY media market.

Yes, it'll be hard for him to escape the allure of

*checks notes*

The New York Giants, the New York Jets, and the Seacaucus swamp.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

shirts and skins posted:

Yes, it'll be hard for him to escape the allure of

*checks notes*

The New York Giants, the New York Jets, and the Seacaucus swamp.

TV households in NY: 7,074,750 (6.309%)
TV households in SEA: 1,880,750 (1.677%)

Is what I'm referring to.

That's a whole lot more advertising impressions for his football shaped bread.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

Benne posted:

Los Angeles Rams

Cap space: $40.989 million

Notable free agents: Trumaine Johnson, Sammy Watkins, LaMarcus Joyner, Connor Barwin

Top draft picks: 23, 56, 87

Analysis: LA doesn't have many glaring needs, but keeping Johnson and Watkins should be a top priority, and they also need to keep Aaron Donald happy. The reigning Defensive Player of the Year has earned a mega-extension, and I'll be surprised if they don't work one out. Otherwise, I expect the Rams to stay the course and use the draft to keep building up an up-and-coming core.

Good write-up, also note the Rams can cut Tavon Austin for 3 million in cap space, Mark Barron for 7 million and Robert Quinn for 11.5 million. Barron and Quinn will probably get restructured for half of those totals anyways just to free up space.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Benne posted:


San Francisco 49ers

Top draft picks: 41 or 43


This one belongs to the nefarious (but oddly generous) New England Losers Patriots.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Hello friends see you in five years when we have ten lombardis

Manoueverable
Oct 23, 2010

Dubs Loves Wubs
I can only imagine certain people are going to come roaring back if Jimmy G doesn't end up delivering with that kind of contract

Its Rinaldo
Aug 13, 2010

CODS BINCH

Spoeank posted:

Hello friends see you in five years when we have ten lombardis

$126 million :glomp:

Ninja Bob
Nov 20, 2002




Bleak Gremlin
Congratulations on your rich, handsome quarterback, 9ers fans.

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

Benne posted:

Analysis: JIMMY G NEEDS WEAPONS ... is only a half-joking take. As thrilling as the 49ers' second-half surge was, they still have a lot of roster holes that need filled if they hope to be taken seriously as 2018 playoff contenders. Still, they have more than enough space to re-sign Jimmy and get the free agents Kyle Shanahan wants, while using high draft picks to John Lynch's pleasure. The Niners have a lot of interesting angles here -- go for it with Jimmy, take a more patient rebuilding approach, or try both? It'll be a fascinating offseason to follow.

Niners need a #1 receiver, but aside from that their biggest needs are secondary and pass rush, in my opinion. Which is weird since they've invested so many picks into defense the last few years (thanks Baalke).

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Its Rinaldo posted:

$126 million :glomp:

Jimmy G is only 11.5 million more than Kapeernick who gets paid $126 million a snap.


No lie AAC and LWB burned that contract value into my brain and are the only reason I remember it

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Papercut posted:

Niners need a #1 receiver, but aside from that their biggest needs are secondary and pass rush, in my opinion. Which is weird since they've invested so many picks into defense the last few years (thanks Baalke).

They need an edge rusher. They have the middle all sealed up and beautiful, they just need a guy who can come around the edge.

Papercut
Aug 24, 2005

Spoeank posted:

They need an edge rusher. They have the middle all sealed up and beautiful, they just need a guy who can come around the edge.

Right, they have zero edge rush but the interior is pretty good. They should draft an offensive lineman pretty high as well.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

It'll be hard for Jimmy G to be worse than noted money-fort QB Joeseph Flacco.
http://www.spotrac.com/nfl/baltimore-ravens/joe-flacco-4000/

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012

STRIKE!

DariusLikewise posted:

Good write-up, also note the Rams can cut Tavon Austin for 3 million in cap space, Mark Barron for 7 million and Robert Quinn for 11.5 million. Barron and Quinn will probably get restructured for half of those totals anyways just to free up space.

Is Quinn good or bad?

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




Papercut posted:

Niners need a #1 receiver, but aside from that their biggest needs are secondary and pass rush, in my opinion. Which is weird since they've invested so many picks into defense the last few years (thanks Baalke).

I like the young talent we've put in the secondary. Some of those guys are going to turn out to be very good. We're getting some back from injury as well.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

mllaneza posted:

I like the young talent we've put in the secondary. Some of those guys are going to turn out to be very good. We're getting some back from injury as well.

They need more CBs, though. Safety is set, interior dline is set. LB, Edge, CB are all still needs. I imagine they'll sign a CB or two in FA (Butler or Melvin?) to pair with Witherspoon, and draft the Edge spot early and an ILB later.

Oh, did someone sign a long-term contract with the 49ers today? I had no idea :flashfap:

Edit:

important detail: "Garoppolo’s new contract is worth as much as $137.5 million...ESPN reported it was worth $90 million in the first three years, suggesting it was front-loaded to take advantage of the team’s salary-cap cushion."

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 22:02 on Feb 8, 2018

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Imagine all the half-baked VC startups Jimmy could fund with that money

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

Benne posted:

Imagine all the half-baked VC startups Jimmy could fund with that money

After rent? Maybe two.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

$45m can get him a nice starter home in palo alto

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it
Pfft, East Palo Alto maybe

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?

JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

Is Quinn good or bad?

He's okay, he looked best this year at linebacker then he did at defensive end since blowing out his knee. He can't play every down anymore. It's hard to rate any of the Rams pass rushers because by the time any of them get in the backfield Aaron Donald has already got the pressure/sack.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal

Spoeank posted:

Hello friends see you in five years when we have ten lombardis

EYBS in a non baseball sport??

Best I can hope for is Jimmy G is the 49er Barry Bonds. Greatest player of all time becomes maligned because he never delivers a championship.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Was Jimmy G's first regular season play in the NFL that game where Kaep and Harbaugh burned New England so hard that Brady got benched? Or am I thinking of the Kansas City Alex Smiths?

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I think Jimmy G's first regular season play in the NFL was that game where Kaep and Harbaugh burned New England so hard that Brady got benched.

That never happened. You're thinking of the Chiefs game in '14.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

That never happened. You're thinking of the Chiefs game in '14.

Yeah, I got two glorious Pats humiliations that involved Alex Smith mixed up.

rjmccall
Sep 7, 2007

no worries friend
Fun Shoe
There was a hilarious snow game where we were thumping the Pats really hard in the first half, but Brady didn’t get benched, he led a second-half comeback that ultimately fell just short.

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

rjmccall posted:

There was a hilarious snow game where we were thumping the Pats really hard in the first half, but Brady didn’t get benched, he led a second-half comeback that ultimately fell just short.

Really it wasn’t Brady, it was Justin Smith’s injury that sparked their almost comeback. And Kap killed it :allears:

rjmccall
Sep 7, 2007

no worries friend
Fun Shoe
Oh yeah, I had forgotten about Justin getting hurt.

So many fumbled snaps. :allears:

Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.
Jimmy's cap hits

First Year: 42 million
Second year: 20 million
Third year: 24 million
(can be cut with minimal dead money at this point, Edit: also includes a no-trade clause at this point)
Fourth year: 26 million
Fifth year: 26 million

That's a very friendly contract, while still letting him dive into swimming pools of cash.

The five year contract sets him up for another big pay day if he pans out, and more importantly aligns his contract perfectly with Shanahan and Lynch's.

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Feb 9, 2018

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

it also aligns with brady's career, probably

Kazak_Hstan
Apr 28, 2014

Grimey Drawer
That’s a really good contract.

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Coldforge posted:

Jimmy's cap hits

First Year: 42 million
Second year: 20 million
Third year: 24 million
(can be cut with minimal dead money at this point, Edit: also includes a no-trade clause at this point)
Fourth year: 26 million
Fifth year: 26 million

That's a very friendly contract, while still letting him dive into swimming pools of cash.

The five year contract sets him up for another big pay day if he pans out, and more importantly aligns his contract perfectly with Shanahan and Lynch's.

Goddamn thats some good poo poo.

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Coldforge
Oct 29, 2002

I knew it would be bad.
I didn't know it would be so stupid.

hifi posted:

it also aligns with brady's career, probably

He doesn't sound in any hurry to move back east again. Asked why he didn't hold out for more money, “Because this is where I want to be.... it's 75 degrees out here. It's not a snowstorm like Chicago."



:smug:

Edit: Team still has around 75 million in cap space to sign Malcolm Butler, Andrew Norwell and LeVeon Bell.

Coldforge fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Feb 9, 2018

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