/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Serephina posted:

I think what a lot of people are missing is that the sister is going through a bad mental state herself due to the double parental deaths. It's not like it's otherwise possible to be surprised by a close relative being a hoarder. That poor cat, but it's less about being a bad person and more about not being able to cope.

What?! No! How can you just hand wave the cat death?! That�s terrible! After one parental death I doubled down on caring for my pet. Even when I was so depressed (and/or so drunk) I didn�t care about anything else I still found the power to at least brush my teeth, feed my guinea pig and make sure she had fresh water.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 12:43

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:38

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

RatHat posted:

For 4 months? And then lying about it?

Try three years, even. This is the kind of gently caress up where the injured party should do absolutely nothing to repair the relationship. Squeeze her sister for every bit of reparation and totally block contact. Rapprochement, if possible, is years down the line and must come from the sister and not from the OP. Preferably with absolute contrition.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 12:57

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I'm pretty sure I was abducted as a child and i'm listed in the America national database as missing (Advice too please)

quote:

I'm a different ethnicity from my family, i'm Asian in a South American (not giving exact country for reasons) family. Was pushed between relatives as a kid, general massive shitshow. Lots of street wondering as a kid with my "siblings" while my family pushed drugs and god knows what else. A few field trips with uncle and other siblings into the forest to camps where they were cooking drugs, we would make mud huts while the adults worked. What I thought was casual poo poo. I'm doing okay now, living on my own, learned Engish young in school and perfected it when I got older, still don't know Chinese.

I was never given a clear explaination of how i'm... Asian in my totally Latin family. No one talks about it. No one addresses it. My "mom" is a complicated person.

A "uncle" of mine made some weird comment while drunk about the place that was I "stolen from" and that's when I started searching databases online starting with my country, then neighboring ones, then the big one for America where I ended up finding a little Asian kid listed as missing. With the same birth date that my "mom" told me I had. The picture looks like me. The name matches so apparently that wasn't changed.

I'm pretty baffled.

What do I do? Do I just call the America police office in that area and tell them? How do I get htem to take me seriously? Can I just send them my DNA and be like "please test this compared to this little kid".

I'm confused please help lol

# ? Feb 13, 2018 13:42

Vargatron: Apr 19, 2008; MRAZZLE DAZZLE

La Brea Carpet posted:

M [27 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 4 years, he made fun of the face I make when I orgasm, don't feel like having sex with him anymore.

I'm like 90% sure that nobody looks good while cumming... or opening a jar.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 14:03

batteries!: Aug 26, 2010

Palpek posted:

please help lol

This thread in three words.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 14:32

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. self.confession

quote:

My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.

Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"?

I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife.

Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your rear end and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife.

"My what?"

Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please.

"Wtf is a poop knife?"

Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it.

He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my hosed up family with their hosed up bowels. FML.

I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes.

She will be getting her own utility knife now.

[Edit: Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.]

# ? Feb 13, 2018 14:42

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Old but good.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 14:44

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Palpek posted:

I'm pretty sure I was abducted as a child and i'm listed in the America national database as missing (Advice too please)

I want this person to find out their past but there's no way they have a DNA sample on the kid, they'd have to test the parents if they're still alive, and so on. Good luck, kid.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 14:59

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

We're leading up to a news story here.

Someone has been behaving inappropriately towards me (15F) and I'm too embarrassed to tell my parents

quote:

There's this youth teacher at my church who has been been sending me very weird things. He keeps asking when he can take me out to dinner or the movies and he sends random stuff like "hey beautiful." I don't know, it's just weird and makes me feel uncomfortable. I want him to stop but I'm too scared to ask him to because I don't like when people dislike me and I feel awkward being so straightforward. Also, my parents and I don't have that kind of relationship. I don't talk to them about anything sexual, well I don't really talk to them at all even though we live in the same house, but when I do it's just about chores or school. The only person I've told is my best friend and she told me to tell them. But everytime I try, I just cringe and decide not to do it.

TL;Dr; Youth teacher being weird and inappropriate and I want him to stop. But I can't seem to tell my parents.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 15:47

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Shes already ignored the advice of a living human being so Ill wait for the long form article about her life tragically cut short later.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 15:50

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

If she can't go to the parents, go to your counselor at school or go to a person above the youth teacher like the pastor of you trust them.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 15:52

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

It's sad that she casually goes 'oh my relationship with my parents isn't the kind of relationship where I can tell them about being molested because they mostly just ignore me'. Like, gee, I wonder why she's such a people-pleaser? :iiam:

I hope she can tell another trusted adult.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 16:38

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

Well he hasn't touched her yet. But if there isn't intervention there a good chance he'll try.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 16:41

Penguissimo: Apr 7, 2007

PetraCore posted:

It's sad that she casually goes 'oh my relationship with my parents isn't the kind of relationship where I can tell them about being molested because they mostly just ignore me'. Like, gee, I wonder why she's such a people-pleaser?

I hope she can tell another trusted adult.

To be fair it might actually be a warranted fear on her part as a lot of these church communities probably would blame her for being victimized.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 16:41

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

La Brea Carpet posted:

M [27 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 4 years, he made fun of the face I make when I orgasm, don't feel like having sex with him anymore.

She should have sex with her boyfriend and drop him off a steep cliff when he's about to cum while making her wonderful o-face the whole time.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 16:54

girl pants: Sep 21, 2006; I feel a great disturbance in my pants

It's kind of funny/sad how many mugshots you find when you GIS "youth pastor"

# ? Feb 13, 2018 17:09

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Serephina posted:

I think what a lot of people are missing is that the sister is going through a bad mental state herself due to the double parental deaths. It's not like it's otherwise possible to be surprised by a close relative being a hoarder. That poor cat, but it's less about being a bad person and more about not being able to cope.

You don't have to be a bad person to irreparably harm the people you love. Her being unable to cope is an explanation but not an excuse.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 17:12

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

She should have sex with her boyfriend and drop him off a steep cliff when he's about to cum while making her wonderful o-face the whole time.

I thought this was a little harsh but I'm ok with it anyway because the idea of convincing someone to have sex with you right next to a steep cliff for ironic-murder purposes holds a certain dark humor to me

# ? Feb 13, 2018 17:17

Barudak: May 7, 2007

loquacius posted:

I thought this was a little harsh but I'm ok with it anyway because the idea of convincing someone to have sex with you right next to a steep cliff for ironic-murder purposes holds a certain dark humor to me

Turns out the song Dead Man�s Curve is actually a double entendre

# ? Feb 13, 2018 17:28

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

My (26/F) boyfriend (27/m) gets out of control when he drinks. How should I handle this?

quote:

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years. Even when we met, I remember a mutual friend warning me that he drinks like 'a kid on his first night out ever.' I noticed this early enough on; we were dating and he came to a party to meet my friends. I had sent him day drinking with a friend for her birthday while I was at work; I rushed home, got changed, and brought him to this party without really noticing that he was already drunk. At the party I noticed his eyes were almost glazing over and warned him to watch the cocktails being passed around; I knew from prior experience how strong they were! He continued drinking them and I had to take him to the balcony, tried to sober him... no luck. I ended up taking him home, mortified he was so drunk, and locked him out of my bedroom (I had a spare room). He pounded on the door, cried, said he was terrified of loosing me... I gave in, and it's been downhill since there.

Fast forward 2 years, we both live in NYC and he's probably a lot less terrified of loosing me. He can go weeks dry, but when he goes out he knows no moderation and is notorious for it. He will often fall asleep at bars, but can also be a bit of an a-hole in front of people; mutual friends look at me like I'm an idiot when I'm carrying him out of bars, or get annoyed when he gets us thrown out. This past weekend we were away skiing as a group; he cannot remember either of our nights at the local bar, but both times I had to take him home. Frequently he'll wet himself and I have to change him. On top of this, while drunk he can be quite unkind to me. This Saturday, I was sober enough to watch him picking sore spots with me in order to deliberately upset me; after I had left all of our friends to bring him back because he'd been thrown out. He also shoved me a bit on the ice, but I can say I've never been sort of scared for my safety. The next morning he couldn't remember a thing and was back to being so nice.

I am a very moderate person; we're both Irish, we love a drink! It's a key part of our social life and I wouldn't have it any other way. During January, he went dry and this bothered me as I love having a few with him. But key word being a few. He's said before that I'm a good influence, that he needs to learn moderation better, so I try to be supportive when he says things like this. If I tried to sit him down to talk about this I think he'd tell me to f off, that he doesn't care what me or anybody else thinks.

I love him very much, and a lot of the time he's a great boyfriend. I don't expect him to stop going out and going wild every now and again; I know he's grown up in a real 'bro' culture and can support him going wild with his guy friends. But when we're out with our mutual friends, it's upsetting and annoying. I wish he could just slow down and enjoy the nights and the company.

Does anybody have any opinions, any advice... anything? I think I'm pretty patient with him but after this past weekend I really feel that it's getting out of hand. I think if I wasn't there to look after him, he would have got beat up or robbed by now which would have been a reality check. As it is, I think he knows he can push it too far because he will end up safe home in bed with vitamin water next to him because I will take care of him.

tl;dr: Boyfriend drinks too much when he goes out, ends up messy, has gotten out of control and I'm getting tired of taking him home and looking after him.

I mean, maybe he can change his ways if he really tries--

[26/f] Think I am being gaslighted by boyfriend [27/M]. Is there any way I can try to recitfy this without ending things?

quote:

I've posted here a few times before, trying to make sense of the silly silly disagreements that end up in big arguments with my boyfriend, and have been slowly chipping away at me. Through so much desperate research (because i'm scared to discuss any concerns with him lest they start another argument) i've come to the conclusion that I think i'm being gaslighted.

I went into our relationship with pretty good self esteem; I have a hell of a lot going for me and am a very lucky girl. However I did move to NYC in the new year, leaving most of my friends in Boston, and my family in Ireland, so I guess this left me in a weaker position in our relationship.

Over time, we have gone from the most wonderful relationship, to one where i'm constantly questioning myself. I have dysphraxia, and as much as me bumping into something, or spilling a blob of ketchup (happened a month ago, is still brought up in arguments) is enough to set me boyfriend off. He will express annoyance, I will apologise, and he will open the can of worms of everything I have ever done wrong- the issue being, what i've 'done wrong' is out of my control; things like using google maps and leading us down one street too early. Asking him if he had a good birthday, when apparently this scares him as he expected to be at a different point in life at 27. These will end with me in tears, but he'll quickly bounce back to wonderful. Like, fully the perfect man for me wonderful. The issue is that the things he has said linger inside me, and i'm starting to feel small, hollow, scared and unhappy. And i'm just too scared to address these things with him, because I know they'll lead to a fight.

This behavior began shortly around the time of him having an operation, which has temporarily emasculated him a little. He's recovering but I think it has has phychological effects on him, which is why i'm holding on in here. We have the best time together, our interests mesh perfectly, and as he used to say, our personalities are 'the perfect foil' for each other. Last night I attempted to breach the operation while we were sort of snuggling before bed and after a lovely evening, but he immediately stoned over, glued himself to his phone, refused to speak about it, and said he wanted to zone out now. I said thta i just needed to know whats happening in his head so that I don't upset him by accident, and that it's hurting me too and i'm getting confused. I asked him to please talk to me when he's ready. I didn't get a response to this.

I am madly in love with this man, but I am smart enough and have enough self respect to know that it is not acceptable for me to continue accepting this treatment. I no longer feel good about myself, and I know that this is a shell of a relationship when it was once the most fulfilling relationship I have ever had. I also know that I shouldn't be scared to discuss such matters with my partner.

I am asking, please, can anybody provide me advise for breaking the gaslighting? Do you think this is possible? and do you think it could be related to the operation?

[26/F] My boyfriend [27] of 1.5 years said we're 'moving too fast'; what does he mean?!

quote:

My relationship hasn't been easy as of late.

I met my boyfriend while I was living in Boston and he in NYC. We spent about 6 months dating, visiting each other between cities every other week, and went on a vacation together. This all felt fun, natural and relaxed. I was then moved to NYC with work and he was delighted, couldn't have been move caring, loving, attentive; almost moving too fast himself; big plans for the future etc. At this point I felt he was moving too fast and kept my guard up! I'm pragmatic and not one to fall into relationships easily. We had a fabulous 6 or so months of this. After that, I experienced a loss at home (we're both from Ireland) and had a temporary struggle of finding a solid set of friends, and just went through a rough time. This is all resolved now, but during it, arguments started; he would get very annoyed with me over small things, and I was in a vulnerable position where I needed support. I admit that I may have been too clingy, relying on him as something solid and reliable in my life while I was feeling very lonely and anxious.

Flash forward to now, and I sort of know the relationship has become quite toxic, I often consider if I'm a fool for staying in it, but I can't help but feel that we have it in us to get back to the way we had been. 90% of our time together is wonderful; from just gymming together to helping each other with chores, to wonderful meals out and weekends away, we have an amazing time together; literally anything we do together is fun, our personalities are very different but compliment each other, and our interests overlap in just the right manner that we have loads in common but enough different to go out and do things by ourselves. However I'm growing more and more on edge because occasionally I will inadvertently do something to annoy my boyfriend, and suddenly an argument occurs where he really gets tough and personal and won't listen to me, and I end up feeling very upset and damaged. I've tried to explain that it isn't the idea of us breaking up that leaves me so upset, but the things he says and the way he treats me during these arguments, and the fact that they come out of the blue.

On Sunday we were flying back from a wonderful weekend in DC, and he mentioned a tux he had ordered for my friend's wedding (a couple who have been very kind to both of us). He mentioned that it was ignorant of them having a black tie wedding, how much of a struggle it is that it is on NYE and he will have to miss his annual get together with his friends from home, and started calling me manipulative for having said it would mean a lot to me if he came. He said the wedding would be terrible, and that my friends are selfish for having black tie and necessitating he spend a fortune. He even shouted at me that I had found my dress for it at a sample sale and therefore got it cheap. I offered to pay for his tux, said that I understood the sacrifice he was making (and that i'm paying for our hotel room in gratitude for this) and reassured him that he doesn't need to come and I can work it out carefully if he wanted to pull out. He again started to pull apart my character- he really focused on the manipulative aspect (I can say in all honesty, and I wish I could agree with his side, that I am not a calculating person, and can be woefully in the clouds and open- manipulation isn't my forte). I ended up in tears, apologizing for saying that it would mean a lot to me. I tried to assure him that there is no manipulation to me, that I love him but that these arguments are leaving me feeling like I'm on eggshells, and if I bother him so much, to please let me know and end things. He said that he 'wants his own life back' and that we are 'moving too fast'.

This is what I've been confused about since. I'm used to these arguments, but in terms of moving fast, we have made zero plans for moving our relationship forward. We live in our own apartments, and although some of our friends overlap, I have my own thing going on as well. In the past, following an argument, I would be a little clingy in wanting to chat and sort it out, but I've given up on that now. I'll send texts every now and then, but just a few quick ones a day, and never push him to hang out; indeed, I find myself being way more flexible to him than I ever was in the beginning; just doing my own thing and hanging out when he wants.I asked if this meant he was interested in other people, because I was so confused, and he looked genuinely shocked and assured me that he wouldn't look sideways at anybody else. I do genuinely believe him when it comes to this.

Following this fight, we landed late, he had to move apartments, and had an important meeting the following morning. I was upset but offered to help him move for a little while to prevent him from being too tired for the meeting. He then started saying how he would 'love' me to stay at his that night, so I went home to get clean clothes for work and I did. The next morning I wished him a good week and told him about an event I had that evening, and his response was (in a sweet way) 'I don't get to see you? let me know what time it finishes?' For the rest of the week, he's been back to normal and acting kindly towards me, but now I just feel like I'm walking on thin ice, and honestly don't feel like I deserve it. This 'moving too fast' is baffling me; what did he mean?? But we have another weekend away from Friday and I know we'll have a wonderful time of being us again, and will once again go back to the 'this is how absolutely amazing we can be'.

Can anybody make sense of this? provide advice? Am I a fool for still being with him? I can't seem to break these arguments at all, and I've tried approaching them from so many different angles. And is there anything I can change to prevent him from this 'moving too fast' feeling?

[TLDR] boyfriend said we're moving too fast in an argument, but we have no future plans and I've been very careful to give him space as we're on a rocky patch. What would he have meant?

Boyfriend [M/27] pulling away from me [F/26] after some stressful events. What can I do to help this?

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating since May last year. Until January, he lived in NYC and I lived in Boston, then I moved to NYC with work and he was a large factor of it. For the beginning of the relationship, he was infatuated with me. We also worked in the same office, so frequently stayed at each others apartments, would meet for lunch and coffee during the day, and would hang out most evenings. He treated me so well and was frequently so sweet, attentive and caring. We did have some stresses and arguments, but would resolve them. Then in July, I had a really bad episode of anxiety. I started to feel very lonely in NYC, lost a family member back home in Ireland, and we both had a medical stress that potentially wasn't covered by our insurance (all sorted now), and he was hating work (has subsequently changed jobs and is stressed but excited again in work). This lead to a lot of arguing between us, mostly because he admittedly 'pulled away from me'. I admittedly was really hard on him during the time, having a lot of tears and breakdowns as I was feeling so so anxious and down, and I probably demanded too much support from him. I'm ashamed now, but I was frequently pulling him into discussions about the state of our relationship which he truly hated. I have sought help and the episode is behind me, but he has said that 'we need to pull our relationship far far back.' This breaks my heart. I am utterly in love with him, but feel like he's lost a little love for me. He's still here after us having many hard looks at whether we should stay together, which I can only take as a good thing? I know it's going to take work to rebuild our relationship, but I do know that thankfully I am back to being the girl that he fell for. I'm just wondering if anybody has any advice on anything else I can do here? He blows quite hot and cold with me at the moment, and I think he knows that he has me wrapped around his finger, as he is getting away with being quite selfish (making last minute plan changes, being a bit unreasonable about some things, and knows that I will bite my lip on these things).

Should I just step back and give him space? Is there anything else you might advise?

TLDR; A period of stresses have caused arguments and strain on relationship. Still together and out of the danger zone, but I want to do everything I can to bring us back to where we had been and would love advice.

I [F26] just had a blowup with my boyfriend [m27] this morning. Want to make better (it's his birthday) but feel like I'm being taken advantage of... advise?

quote:

We've been dating 1.5 years, and had a very rocky patch over the summer, however we've really been doing well for a month or so now. It's my boyfriend's birthday today, so I really went to the full effort over the weekend (although I normally like to make a lot of effort for him anyway). We had a wonderful weekend, booked a trip away, went for nice meals and walks, and last night had wine on his roof. Then we went to mine and I gave him his presents, which he was delighted with (I've planned them for well over a month.) We got up early for spin class this morning, as I'm taking him out for dinner somewhere he's been dying to try tonight. So plan was to get our workout over with. This spin class involved games on a leaderboard, where you compete against the rest of the class- really motivating! Only after game 1, he realized he wasn't on it. I explained sometimes the technology glitches; it's happened to me before. AT the end of class he stormed out. Walking home, I tried to cheer him up as he was fully sulking and saying that that was a waste of time without the board to motivate him; I rubbed his arm and said something comforting that I can't remember. His response 'stop treating me like a baby'. This is where I don't know if I was wrong; I snapped 'maybe if you stopped acting like a baby! It's only a game!' He proceeded to walk the rest of the way home staring at his phone and lingering behind me. We got ready for work without saying a word; I was expecting him to apologise and was scared of either crying or snapping, he was clearly furious. When he went to leave I asked him to stay and talk to me for one minute, but he refused and stormed out. I sent him a text apologizing and asking him to let me know if he'd like me to cancel dinner, and wishing him a happy birthday and apologizing for starting it on a bad note; he has ignored it.

I'm really really not sure who's in the wrong. I feel silly even typing this; to me it seems so so small? Like not something worth fighting over? I feel terrible. However, I also don't want to be a pushover here. During our rough patch, I found myself absorbing my hurt feelings a lot in order to not aggravate him, and I wonder if I just didn't deserve this morning; I've gone to great efforts to give him a special day. He stormed out before I could present him with his cake etc. I didn't mean any harm, I was just temporarily upset with being sulked at over something out of my control. Do I internalize this and continue to apologise when he speaks to me again? Or do I (as friends have told me I need to do with him) grow more of a backbone and risk loosing him? When this boy is great he is kind, loving, caring and thoughtful. But he is an only child and this shows when things aren't going as he wants them to. This morning he left me crying and I know he feels nothing about that, he's just very used to getting his own way,

Sorry this was so long!!!

TLDR; Fight with my boyfriend on his birthday morning. I snapped, but he was huffing with me over something I had zero control over. Do I apologise/was I in the wrong? Or do I need to stand up for myself here?

[26/F] Ugly duckling finally getting some confidence, but my boyfriend has lost interest in me. Tips/advice? (Just an imgur link to photos of herself)
F(26) my boyfriend (27) has lost interest in sex. Help? (Deleted by an r bot for stupid reasons)

All within the last four months. Just loving :sever:

at this point, drat.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:12

Arturia: Jan 24, 2017; Can't stop clicking circles

Skutter posted:

My (26/F) boyfriend (27/m) gets out of control when he drinks. How should I handle this?

I mean, maybe he can change his ways if he really tries--

[26/f] Think I am being gaslighted by boyfriend [27/M]. Is there any way I can try to recitfy this without ending things?

[26/F] My boyfriend [27] of 1.5 years said we're 'moving too fast'; what does he mean?!

Boyfriend [M/27] pulling away from me [F/26] after some stressful events. What can I do to help this?

I [F26] just had a blowup with my boyfriend [m27] this morning. Want to make better (it's his birthday) but feel like I'm being taken advantage of... advise?

[26/F] Ugly duckling finally getting some confidence, but my boyfriend has lost interest in me. Tips/advice? (Just an imgur link to photos of herself)
F(26) my boyfriend (27) has lost interest in sex. Help? (Deleted by an r bot for stupid reasons)

All within the last four months. Just loving at this point, drat.

For fucks sake just break up already. I don't want to read all of that but I'm assuming she is at least part of the problem if she gets all her advice from reddit.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:19

Khorne: May 1, 2002

girl pants posted:

It's kind of funny/sad how many mugshots you find when you GIS "youth pastor"

It makes sense if you think about it from a seeking employment perspective. When a person looks for a job they want to work toward some goal. If your goals are "access to children" and "minimal supervision and oversight" and you toss in a tertiary goal of "exceptionally low barrier to entry" to rule out things like medical professions you get... exactly where we see the most abuse cases.

Khorne fucked around with this message at 18:24 on Feb 13, 2018

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:21

Clark Nova: Jul 18, 2004

Chaosfirev posted:

For fucks sake just break up already. I don't want to read all of that but I'm assuming she is at least part of the problem if she gets all her advice from reddit.

Reddit can at least parrot :sever:

at anyone and everyone so she may be asking advice of reddit but she certainly isn�t taking it.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:22

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

I've seen enough episodes of Hoarders to know that death of a close family member is often a pretty big trigger to become a hoarder and collapse into a pile of your own filth and trash. It's super sad, sister is suffering from some mental illness here. That said, I hope the brother fixes the house up and gets every penny of the cleanup and renovations out of her half. I'm curious how her new house is, if that will become a hoarder nightmare or it was only the parent's old house and memories/items attached that set her off.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:28

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Baronjutter posted:

I've seen enough episodes of Hoarders to know that death of a close family member is often a pretty big trigger to become a hoarder and collapse into a pile of your own filth and trash. It's super sad, sister is suffering from some mental illness here. That said, I hope the brother fixes the house up and gets every penny of the cleanup and renovations out of her half. I'm curious how her new house is, if that will become a hoarder nightmare or it was only the parent's old house and memories/items attached that set her off.

yeah i can understand why people would want to punish her severely but on the other hand both her parents died and she moved directly into their house full of all of their sentimental things, so

Chaosfirev posted:

For fucks sake just break up already. I don't want to read all of that but I'm assuming she is at least part of the problem if she gets all her advice from reddit.

quote:

He can go weeks dry, but when he goes out he knows no moderation and is notorious for it. He will often fall asleep at bars, but can also be a bit of an a-hole in front of people; mutual friends look at me like I'm an idiot when I'm carrying him out of bars, or get annoyed when he gets us thrown out. This past weekend we were away skiing as a group; he cannot remember either of our nights at the local bar, but both times I had to take him home. Frequently he'll wet himself and I have to change him. On top of this, while drunk he can be quite unkind to me. This Saturday, I was sober enough to watch him picking sore spots with me in order to deliberately upset me; after I had left all of our friends to bring him back because he'd been thrown out. He also shoved me a bit on the ice, but I can say I've never been sort of scared for my safety. The next morning he couldn't remember a thing and was back to being so nice.

boyfriend a violent drunk, so what. surely if we both work together on a sobriety plan he won't be tempted to drink and turn into an assho-

quote:

I am a very moderate person; we're both Irish, we love a drink! It's a key part of our social life and I wouldn't have it any other way. During January, he went dry and this bothered me as I love having a few with him. But key word being a few. He's said before that I'm a good influence, that he needs to learn moderation better, so I try to be supportive when he says things like this. If I tried to sit him down to talk about this I think he'd tell me to f off, that he doesn't care what me or anybody else thinks.

that's the very next paragraph. stop enabling your alcoholic boyfriend!

boner confessor fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Feb 13, 2018

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:29

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

She chose to move in there and chose to not level with her sibling about what was going on there. Contrary to popular belief even people with some light mental health issues are responsible for their choices. She was able to purchase and renovate another home for herself during this time so it isn't like she was incapable of functioning.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:35

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

therobit posted:

She chose to move in there and chose to not level with her sibling about what was going on there. Contrary to popular belief even people with some light mental health issues are responsible for their choices. She was able to purchase and renovate another home for herself during this time so it isn't like she was incapable of functioning.

filling the house of your dead parents with filth and abandoning your cat there to die is not 'light mental health issues'

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:35

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

boner confessor posted:

filling the house of your dead parents with filth and abandoning your cat there to die is not 'light mental health issues'

Obviously not bad enough that it prevented her from finding a way out and leaving someone else with the tab. She's trash.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:42

boner confessor: Apr 25, 2013; by R. Guyovich

i think that modern science acknowledges mental illness especially if it's tied to an acute event such as grief as being more than a "disabled/not disabled" binary but i'm not a fancy doctor so i could be wrong here

op brother certainly has a stake to write off his sister since he's the one cleaning up the mess but it's a bit weird for goons to rush towards the "she's obviously a poo poo person, murder her" when her behavior is consistent with someone undergoing a pretty severe mental shock, such as the death of parents

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:44

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

It's sister and sister, not brother

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:52

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

That other house she has that she supposedly renovated could be non existent

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:53

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Skutter posted:

My (26/F) boyfriend (27/m) gets out of control when he drinks. How should I handle this?

I mean, maybe he can change his ways if he really tries--

[26/f] Think I am being gaslighted by boyfriend [27/M]. Is there any way I can try to recitfy this without ending things?

[26/F] My boyfriend [27] of 1.5 years said we're 'moving too fast'; what does he mean?!

Boyfriend [M/27] pulling away from me [F/26] after some stressful events. What can I do to help this?

I [F26] just had a blowup with my boyfriend [m27] this morning. Want to make better (it's his birthday) but feel like I'm being taken advantage of... advise?

[26/F] Ugly duckling finally getting some confidence, but my boyfriend has lost interest in me. Tips/advice? (Just an imgur link to photos of herself)
F(26) my boyfriend (27) has lost interest in sex. Help? (Deleted by an r bot for stupid reasons)

All within the last four months. Just loving at this point, drat.

No, no, she should stay with him. She's the engine that keeps this trainwreck moving.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 18:58

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Dear Internet, my boyfriend is an embarrassing and sometimes dangerous alcoholic, thanks in no small part to my enabling, and both of us are obviously miserable in our relationship. How do we right this ship and persevere?

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:00

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I dont normally recommend taking such a young relationship to the next level by holding hands and driving off a cliff, but I think theyre ready for it.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:05

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

chitoryu12 posted:

Surprisingly, a search for "chest" didn't immediately bring up something about boobs.

My (28M) girlfriend (28F) of 3.5 years got her hair cut shorter (from her bellybutton to the bottom of her chest) and now she won't stop crying because she hates it. I can't take it anymore and it is getting to the point where I'm questioning our relationship.

Still about 15 pages back but holy gently caress lady just get a weave.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:08

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Al Borland Corp. posted:

That other house she has that she supposedly renovated could be non existent

I think the OP should have mercy on her sister, she's struggling. Make sure she has the other place to go to, quietly but firmly get her moved, get the house restored and sold (of course taking it out of her share), and make sure your sister is getting treatment for her major depression. Holding this against her isn't going to help OP.

On the long winded drinker with the alcoholic Bf, her story had me wondering how pissed actual Irish get when alcoholics from Boston or NYC blame their problems on 'being Irish' but then, it turns out they're the real thing!

tactlessbastard fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Feb 13, 2018

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:19

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Irish-American culture and actual alcoholics are an incredibly toxic combination

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:24

tsa: Feb 3, 2014

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

She should have sex with her boyfriend and drop him off a steep cliff when he's about to cum while making her wonderful o-face the whole time.

Or maybe just don't flip out like a crazy person lmao

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:27

tsa: Feb 3, 2014

Imagine being such an insecure loser you get upset enough about that to post on the internet about it :lol:

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:29

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# ? May 15, 2024 10:38

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

tactlessbastard posted:

I think the OP should have mercy on her sister, she's struggling. Make sure she has the other place to go to, quietly but firmly get her moved, get the house restored and sold (of course taking it out of her share), and make sure your sister is getting treatment for her major depression. Holding this against her isn't going to help OP.

Finding out that a cat died alone and unloved of cold and potential starvation when her sister shrugs and says it was given to a friend is not going to help either. That isn't poo poo you can just get out of your brain.

# ? Feb 13, 2018 19:51

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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