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Uh the obvious solution is you tell your girlfriends, set them up, and split da money 50/50
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Feb 15, 2018 19:29
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Uh the obvious solution is you tell your girlfriends, set them up, and split da money 50/50 Just make an OKCupid profile with his most flattering picture and a bunch of lies on it, get him as many first dates as possible, tell him they're all your "friends," and keep the money for yourself IMO Get a tidy little business going
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Feb 15, 2018 19:31
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loquacius posted:Just make an OKCupid profile with his most flattering picture and a bunch of lies on it, get him as many first dates as possible, tell him they're all your "friends," and keep the money for yourself IMO That’s the entrepreneurial spirit we should all aspire to. 
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Feb 15, 2018 19:42
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loquacius posted:How was it in 2010 though
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Feb 15, 2018 19:42
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (27m) best friend and best man (28m) has vowed he's going to say "one ring to rule them all!" when presenting the rings at the alter. My fiancé (26f) has forbidden it. He's going to do it anyways. What do I do? He should do this, with the sound cranked up to 11: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRzVYYESyv4&t=86s
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Feb 15, 2018 19:51
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Power Khan posted:He should do this, with the sound cranked up to 11: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRzVYYESyv4&t=86s All of the points if someone dims the lights when he does it.
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Feb 15, 2018 20:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (27m) best friend and best man (28m) has vowed he's going to say "one ring to rule them all!" when presenting the rings at the alter. My fiancé (26f) has forbidden it. He's going to do it anyways. What do I do? lol wtf "heh here's a thought i'll let my 'friend' humiliate himself by ruining my wedding so he stops pulling these childish pranks!" like at first i thought "oh sounds like brian's basically bullying the OP" but turns out the OP is also hosed in the head and will probably have a lovely marriage anyway because he's fundamentally unable to address interpersonal issues that said the dude's completely overlooking the fact that he could do almost anything to brian to keep him away from the wedding (get him so drunk he's incapacitated, drive him out to the middle of nowhere and ditch him, lock him in a room/car trunk) and then pass it off as "it was just a prank, bro!!"
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Feb 15, 2018 20:17
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Al Borland Corp. posted:I have seen references to this before but what is the etymology? What's it referencing exactly because it sounds hilarious http://www.somethingawful.com/news/jo-buds-2/5/ Also nobody on the internet, including many goons, ever saw the front page article so thought it was a real ad. Tosh.0 even quoted it.
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Feb 15, 2018 20:18
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Wait the imitation crab meat story is a goon creation? That's...kinda sad even if it's also awesome.
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Feb 15, 2018 20:27
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It's pretty great that we're now fooling ourselves with our own photoshops. Like a lil troll time capsule
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Feb 15, 2018 20:33
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:Wait the imitation crab meat story is a goon creation? That's...kinda sad even if it's also awesome. Yeah. I ruin the magic every chance I get because Dr. Thorpe and Jon Hundred deserve credit for coming up with those ads. I feel goons should be in the know.
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Feb 15, 2018 20:36
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Bored posted:Yeah. I ruin the magic every chance I get because Dr. Thorpe and Jon Hundred deserve credit for coming up with those ads. I feel goons should be in the know. The best thing Dr. Thorpe ever did was go on G4 (I think?) and say during an interview that SA was just a page for monster truck enthusiasts and diet pill sales. E: Found the video, https://youtu.be/NdUHDDj7fhk Skutter fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Feb 15, 2018 |
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Feb 15, 2018 21:25
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quote:Basically it goes like this, my best friend has said that when the minister asks for my ring he's going to hold it over his head and loudly proclaim "ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL!" thinking he's going to get a big laugh. I've told him not to and since we sort of joke with each other every single minute of the day, I know there's nothing I can do to make him not do it and the more I moan about it, the more he's going to seal his position. Uh okay pick someone else to be the best man. Go up to him and say "in all seriousness, if you insist on doing that poo poo I'm going to have to have someone else be the best man. Please consider that the wedding isn't about you or even me it is about my fiance and I as a couple and you're legit going to wreck her wedding day for a cheap laugh?" And if that upsets him then you know for sure you should replace him because he's a little bitch boy anyway. Fiance should dump this lack of spine having rear end 'cuz lol. quote:If I expel him from the Bridal party he's going to show up in the back of the church and scream it out. pf no he won't dude. If that really bothers you hire a couple security dudes and give them his picture. It's what a few hundred bucks on top of the expense of a wedding? Drop in the bucket. e: quote:Well the problem didn't end when everyone sobered up. She's sending him texts with all the reasons he can't embarrass her at her own wedding. He's screencapping the texts and editing them with things like "does she think I care? I want to embarrass her!" and then sends them to me. Sounds like he should nix this dumbass anyway why is he the best man to begin with? Does she think you care? Uh. It's her wedding day and if you have any kind of friendship with her or her future husband you should care and if you don't you're a piece of poo poo. Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Feb 15, 2018 |
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Feb 15, 2018 21:30
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Topical idea: Groom has friendzoned the best man. Best Man has been pining for him and is hoping this stunt will be The Thing that shows the groom that he is truly the one for him, not that bitchy fiancée who can’t take a joke anyways.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:36
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (27m) best friend and best man (28m) has vowed he's going to say "one ring to rule them all!" when presenting the rings at the alter. My fiancé (26f) has forbidden it. He's going to do it anyways. What do I do? I'm on the bus and can't be arsed to post them, but I strongly recommend everyone finds this story and reads OPs responses to commenters because wowee he's a big spineless piece of poo poo.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:36
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Werong Bustope posted:I'm on the bus and can't be arsed to post them, but I strongly recommend everyone finds this story and reads OPs responses to commenters because wowee he's a big spineless piece of poo poo. quote:Shes freaking out about every little detail. I mean she cried over napkins yesterday. I think "the joke" is just another tiny little thing amongst others. bro what the gently caress? "Well she's super wigging out about napkins so maybe ruining the ceremony in front of all our friends and family is fine?"
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Feb 15, 2018 21:41
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Oh my god this guy. This marriage is ending in divorce I'm callin it now.quote:I cant not have him in my wedding. I just can't but i'm looking for advice on how to make everyone happy. why don't you suck his dick and be done with it then
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Feb 15, 2018 21:42
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Moridin920 posted:Oh my god this guy. This marriage is ending in divorce I'm callin it now. Or murder-suicide.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:43
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listen if i go ten minutes without referencing pop culture i will die. you've known this about me for years.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:45
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Listen i've known the guy my whole life, 25 years of friendship! He's earned the right to ruin at least one of my weddings!
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Feb 15, 2018 21:46
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Cat Army
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If I choose to get married I will not participate in the planning in any way. I will be worse than useless: Minutes after I propose I will enter a medically induced coma and have myself revived fully dressed at the altar after someone else reads the vows they wrote for me.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:46
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maskenfreiheit posted:My mom [53F] and my sister [15F] got in an argument this morning and then my mom started sobbing and screaming[new] (self.relationships) that poor dad.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:51
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I don't understand why he didn't immediately drop his rear end in a top hat "friend" as soon as he started talking about this stupid bullshit. It's not he's contractually obligated to be in the wedding and there's probably like 9 brothers or cousins willing to step in as best man. What is the point in dragging this out?
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Feb 15, 2018 21:53
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He says in the post he thinks if he fires the idiot, he'll show up and make a scene anyway
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Feb 15, 2018 21:55
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i like nice words
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I don't understand why he didn't immediately drop his rear end in a top hat "friend" as soon as he started talking about this stupid bullshit. It's not he's contractually obligated to be in the wedding and there's probably like 9 brothers or cousins willing to step in as best man. What is the point in dragging this out?
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Feb 15, 2018 21:57
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Anne Whateley posted:He says in the post he thinks if he fires the idiot, he'll show up and make a scene anyway you can hire a police officer to do security for your private event for a small fee. (be sure to tip extra if he tazes your crazy wedding crasher) Yawgmoth posted:Because "we've been friends for N years!" is a sticking point for a lot of people in the same way "we've been dating for X years!" is. One of my friends got straight up kidnapped by his so-called "oldest friend" and he didn't boot him because thy had known each other for some pile of years. A lot of people will put up with a disturbing amount of abuse and destruction over the misguided ideal of having "life-long pals". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_costs#Loss_aversion_and_the_sunk_cost_fallacy
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Feb 15, 2018 21:57
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Someone asked him outright which person was more important to him, his fiancé or his best friend. He answered that they were equally important. Either a troll or he’s secretly in love with him.
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Feb 15, 2018 21:58
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Zil posted:Or murder-suicide. Double homicide. Now.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:00
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Jfcrandom redditor posted:I’m not sure why you’re even here honestly. Everyone is giving you the same advice and you’re dead set on defending your friend. It’s clear where your priorities lie, and it’s not with your fiancée. op posted:I was hoping people could tell me how to make them both happy, I guess that isn't possible. random redditor posted:As long as your friend continues to be unreasonable, no it won’t be an option. random redditor 2 posted:How can both be happy, if one person's happiness is dependent on the misery of the other person? op posted:good point, as I'm finding out. random redditor 2 posted:What I don't understand is why your immediate reaction isn't to protect your fiancee from pain. op posted:It is but I can't not have Brian in my wedding. It just isn't possible. We've been through thick and thin together. We are closer than brothers. random redditor 2 posted:Time to make a choice. You can't trust him to not ruin your marriage. op posted:What do you want me to say?
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Feb 15, 2018 22:00
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quote:[–]marriedinmayxyz[S] [score hidden] 23 minutes ago Why the gently caress is the bride still marrying this guy? Jesus Christ.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:01
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Anne Whateley posted:He says in the post he thinks if he fires the idiot, he'll show up and make a scene anyway Tell the ushers to turn him away from the door. If he refuses to listen, call the cops. Simple.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:02
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He's the larval form of the sitcom dad.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:02
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Skutter posted:Why the gently caress is the bride still marrying this guy? Jesus Christ. Caganer posted:you can hire a police officer to do security for your private event for a small fee. (be sure to tip extra if he tazes your crazy wedding crasher)
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Feb 15, 2018 22:03
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Skutter posted:Why the gently caress is the bride still marrying this guy? Jesus Christ. Sunk cost fallacy.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:03
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Why do I suspect he wants to go on a honeymoon with Brian?
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Feb 15, 2018 22:05
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Make a preemptive strike and just have the whole wedding be Star Wars themed.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:05
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Guys tell me the magic words to say to make this difficult situation just go away without upsetting anyone or making me do any emotional work!!!
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Feb 15, 2018 22:06
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I [21F] discovered the kind of person my deceased sister [23F] really wasNon-Romantic (self.relationships)quote:My sister and I were best friends. She was my entire world. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t first go to her with my problems, and when she wasn’t happy and ready to listen. There were some days when I couldn’t go on without talking to her. Not to be too cheesy, but she was my rock. I loved my sister with my whole heart. She was always very private, and didn’t share a lot with me, but I was told to respect that want. She loved me, and I knew we were close. We had a bond. She was my role model. She’d volunteer on the weekends, donate to charity, and was just an awesome person. My sister passed away last week, and it was insanely hard to process. My parents asked me to go and sort her possessions, and even though it felt hard, I agreed because I knew she wouldn’t want anybody else doing it.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:07
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Baronjutter posted:Guys tell me the magic words to say to make this difficult situation just go away without upsetting anyone or making me do any emotional work!!! Brian, would you marry me?
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Feb 15, 2018 22:09
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I assumed he was the type of guy who basically said "whatever you want babe" whenever his fiancee asked him a question until she finally had a mental breakdown from all the stress, but he's somehow worse than that. A ten foot party sub, Jesus Christ.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:13
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