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BadSamaritan posted:Topical idea: Groom has friendzoned the best man. Best Man has been pining for him and is hoping this stunt will be The Thing that shows the groom that he is truly the one for him, not that bitchy fiancée who can’t take a joke anyways. OP transparently wants to gently caress the best man, best man wants to rebound gently caress the bride, bride wants to gently caress the OP due to some kind of incurable brain illness
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Feb 15, 2018 22:14
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A 10 Foot Party Sub suggests the living Illegal Party Toliet
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Feb 15, 2018 22:16
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girl pants posted:I assumed he was the type of guy who basically said "whatever you want babe" whenever his fiancee asked him a question until she finally had a mental breakdown from all the stress, but he's somehow worse than that. A ten foot party sub, Jesus Christ. That's just dude's getting back at their soon to be wife's for years of indecisiveness about dinner plans.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:17
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Just let the groom do it at the rehearsal, that way it helps everyone relax and lets some steam off of a stressful evening and he gets it out of his system.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:34
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Khazar-khum posted:Sunk cost fallacy. I cant wait for this to become as meaningless as Dunning Kreuger effect ITT
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Feb 15, 2018 22:39
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Zil posted:Just let the groom do it at the rehearsal, that way it helps everyone relax and lets some steam off of a stressful evening and he gets it out of his system. Do what, the best man?
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Feb 15, 2018 22:42
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girl pants posted:Do what, the best man? I meant his One Ring bit, but on reflection, banging the best man might work out better for everyone.
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Feb 15, 2018 22:53
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Caganer posted:I [21F] discovered the kind of person my deceased sister [23F] really wasNon-Romantic (self.relationships) This would suck. Do you just destroy the evidence and try to forget or do you add screen caps of her catfishing to the Precious Memories slideshow?
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Feb 15, 2018 23:13
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Verimus posted:This would suck. Do you just destroy the evidence and try to forget or do you add screen caps of her catfishing to the Precious Memories slideshow? Bury it and never trust another human being again imo
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Feb 15, 2018 23:23
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I love it when redditors end their posts with "please advise" like they're Bill Lumbergh reaching out to IT on how to "do google" When is a relationship exclusive? I feel like I hosed up (self.dating) quote:So I saw this girl twice. First time we just had casual coffee. Second date we got drunk and had sex, and after I was kind of unsure as to the status of our relationship, i.e. is this now a serious thing, or was it just a drunken hookup. That was a couple weeks ago and we've been too busy to see each other again. A few days ago on a random horny whim I went to a massage parlor and got a handjob. Afterwards I was like "poo poo, did I just gently caress this relationship up? Is this cheating?".
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Feb 15, 2018 23:26
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He should confess and then ask if they are exclusive
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Feb 15, 2018 23:30
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Al Borland Corp. posted:He should confess and then ask if they are exclusive you're not exclusive until you discuss and agree that you are. this is a difficult concept for many people, but there is no common law girlfriend clause. you aren't magically a monogamous couple because you hosed someone consistently for X times
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Feb 15, 2018 23:38
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Yeah but would you knowingly date a dude who gets handjobs at the massage parlor? I think that's the main issue.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:40
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He should ask if they could open the relationship but only to massagers, then wait like 2 days and tell her he got the handjob massage. The twist will be that in the meantime she already had like 10 yoni massages and this will destroy him.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:41
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Caganer posted:you're not exclusive until you discuss and agree that you are. That might be fair, but if you're that interested in someone what kind of burden is it to gamble on the relationship becoming serious and not gently caress other people for ten minutes while you find out? Edit: but really, this: Rubellavator posted:Yeah but would you knowingly date a dude who gets handjobs at the massage parlor? I think that's the main issue.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:42
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Rubellavator posted:Yeah but would you knowingly date a dude who gets handjobs at the massage parlor? I think that's the main issue. depends how well he haggles for them.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:42
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What the gently caress is with people and handies at massage parlors? Can't you get some lotion and jerk off to porn like a normal person? I've never seen the appeal in someone else jerking you off.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:44
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There's an unspoken yet clearly expressed meth habit in that story, guy's a writing genius
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Feb 15, 2018 23:46
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His use of "please advise" tells me all i need to know about his being a dipshit.
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Feb 15, 2018 23:56
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Cat Army
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It's probably more thrill seeking than anything else
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Feb 16, 2018 00:03
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dudeness posted:His use of "please advise" tells me all i need to know about his being a dipshit. Yeah that's weird. I only use that in really formal emails for work.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:06
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Rubellavator posted:Yeah that's weird. I only use that in really formal emails for work. Why are you telling HR about your massage parlour handjobs, you weirdo? Can I (33f) buy myself flowers if my fiancé (32m) didn’t on Valentine’s Day? quote:u/noflowersthrowaway
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Feb 16, 2018 00:28
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It is a thoughtful gift..a stuffed animal of my favorite animal.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:36
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Bubblyblubber posted:Can I (33f) buy myself flowers if my fiancé (32m) didn’t on Valentine’s Day?
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Feb 16, 2018 00:41
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blarzgh posted:That might be fair, but if you're that interested in someone what kind of burden is it to gamble on the relationship becoming serious and not gently caress other people for ten minutes while you find out? that's a really slut shamey, sex negative take. if someone is not in a monogamous relationship they can have as much sex as they want
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Feb 16, 2018 00:55
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Sure they can, but it's not sex-negative or slut-shamey to say that if you want to demonstrate to an individual that you want a monogamous relationship with them, maybe don't.
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Feb 16, 2018 00:58
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Haifisch posted:How many comments are talking about love languages? I'm guessing at least five. my love language is AMERICAN. just say what you want, when you want WILD CARD BITCHESSS My [29M] wife [28F] changed her mind about going back to work after giving birthRelationships (self.relationships) quote:Basically what it says in the title. My wife and I have been married for three years, together for nine. She gave birth to our first son two months ago. After he was born I was able to take 2 weeks paid leave and she was planning on taking 12. The plan was for her to go back to work and our son's time would be split between her mom and daycare during the work day. From the time that we started talking about having kids, we were in agreement that we’d both work. edit: wrong quote
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Feb 16, 2018 00:58
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Anne Whateley posted:Sure they can, but it's not sex-negative or slut-shamey to say that if you want to demonstrate to an individual that you want a monogamous relationship with them, maybe don't. refusing to be exclusive with someone because they had sex with someone other than you before exclusivity was declared is the textbook definition of slutshaming, it's super problematic to hold someone to the standards of a relationship w/o affirmative consent
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Feb 16, 2018 01:01
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How can I (31M) be a better gift-giver? My wife (29F) is upset with me yet againquote:My wife and I took that five love languages quiz a while ago and hers is gifts. Which makes sense because she always gets me thoughtful stuff. But I always seem to strike out. I will admit a lot of the time I don’t think about the gift giving occasion until it’s too late and I have to scramble, but this year I didn’t do that.
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Feb 16, 2018 01:02
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Haifisch posted:How can I (31M) be a better gift-giver? My wife (29F) is upset with me yet again i don't want to sound like an incel, but it would make me a little suspicious if someone told me their  love language is me buying them stuffalso lol that her favorite gift doubles as a vibrator
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Feb 16, 2018 01:05
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maskenfreiheit posted:refusing to be exclusive with someone because they had sex with someone other than you before exclusivity was declared is the textbook definition of slutshaming, it's super problematic to hold someone to the standards of a relationship w/o affirmative consent If it's like "she slept with other people before me, what a disgusting whore" then that's slutshaming, sure. If it's like "I was hoping for a monogamous relationship if it worked out, but while we were dating they were continuing to sleep with other people, and that doesn't work with what I want" that's fine and healthy and normal. It's like, you also have to show up on time in order to date most people. How dare they hold you to the standards of a relationship without your consent
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Feb 16, 2018 01:06
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Anne Whateley posted:lmao no. You can tell it's not shaming because there's uh...no shame involved yes, exactly. you're saying that them sleeping with people other than you is a negative thing that makes you not want to date them. that's slut shamey and problematic. you're like that poster who said it's not homophobic to end a relationship with a guy she found out is bi
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Feb 16, 2018 01:09
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Caganer posted:i don't want to sound like an incel, but it would make me a little suspicious if someone told me their 
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Feb 16, 2018 01:10
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maskenfreiheit posted:yes, exactly. you're saying that them sleeping with people other than you is a negative thing that makes you not want to date them. that's slut shamey and problematic. you're like that poster who said it's not homophobic to end a relationship with a guy she found out is bi It's not a negative thing, it's an incompatible thing. For example, I would also be incompatible with someone who wanted kids or was moving to Chicago, which are not negative things. I look forward to hearing about how that somehow makes me racist though
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Feb 16, 2018 01:11
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loquacius posted:I remember being an extremely bitter middle schooler when I didn't get an A on a trifold poster project despite the fact that the teacher couldn't point out anything I'd done wrong I know this is from...pages back but it revived in me a 20 year long rage. In 4th grade I had a 106 in Science class. I was a really bookish kid in elementary school, I read at recess, etc. - a complete incorrigible nerd. Did extra credit assignments I didn't need for fun to keep my grade over 100. This little shithead in my class who was failing, or near to, copied my test answers word for word on a chapter test and we both got 0s because "the teacher had no way of knowing who cheated" and that little bitch (gently caress you, Samantha) wouldn't confess while I was crying and begging to not give me a 0. How could you not know which of us cheated, using even a sliver of critical thought? They made me get the test signed by my parents because I "may have cheated" and my grade dropped to a 98. The next greatest "gently caress you" I got from a teacher was my honors 8th grade history teacher (who I corrected in class because I was an aspie little poo poo that didn't know that was super bad) who refused to write me a recommendation for AP World Geography going into high school, which was required for the class (only for this AP class as the only "freshman" AP offered). Didn't matter that I never dropped below a 95 in his class, he "didn't think I had the emotional maturity for AP" (I graduated with enough AP credits to be a mid-sophomore in college so shows what he loving knew). In short gently caress bitchy teachers who hold back kids who do well and genuinely enjoy learning just to be lovely. I wasn't good at sports and was too gangly and boob-y to be remotely accepted by most my pre-pubescent peers and being academically bright was all I had until high school when suddenly being over 5' and having boobs was totally normal and I had a bunch of really encouraging and awesome teachers 
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Feb 16, 2018 01:15
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Anne Whateley posted:That love language is more of an "I thought of you" thing, so like, "I saw a great dog, sad you missed him, here's a pic" or sending them a cool link related to their interests would also work. It's more of a "I am aware of your tastes and I think about you enough to find/plan/send/etc. a thing you'd like" and not just sorry, you're right. im biased because the first one i saw mentioning these (i wish i had the link) was where the girl's love language was gifts and therefor demanding an ipad for valentines after having gotten an iphone for christmas and the guy is like "i'm a student and had to put the phone on my credit card i can't fit both" 
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Feb 16, 2018 01:16
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loquacius posted:I remember being an extremely bitter middle schooler when I didn't get an A on a trifold poster project despite the fact that the teacher couldn't point out anything I'd done wrong isn't jesse owens black? maybe teacher is a racist
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Feb 16, 2018 01:16
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Yeah I'm sure there are trash people who use it as an excuse, it just isn't inherently bad imo
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Feb 16, 2018 01:16
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Anne Whateley posted:You are a terrible boring troll and it's only irritating that anyone might believe anyone thinks that way. i'm not a troll look at my post history, sorry that being a strong advocate for sexual freedom rustles your jimmies Anne Whateley posted:It's not a negative thing, it's an incompatible thing. For example, I would also be incompatible with someone who wanted kids or was moving to Chicago, which are not negative things. I look forward to hearing about how that somehow makes me racist though if you're otherwise compatible and the dealbreaker was loving other people, you're slutshaming. along similar lines if you found out your not-yet-bf was part black, or had a jewish mother and claimed that made you "incompatible" it'd also be biased and wrong. your other examples are things rooted in logic (i want to be in the same city, i don't want to be a parent) whereas denying someone for their sexual history or race is just bias
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Feb 16, 2018 01:21
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Haifisch posted:How can I (31M) be a better gift-giver? My wife (29F) is upset with me yet again Buried lede here, he didn't even wrap the gift. This guy's a pretty frustrating case of learned helplessness. His wife wants him to be observant, attentive, and intuitive, or maybe even to just listen to her when she talks. I agree with her that having to provide a shopping list takes all the fun out of gifts, but everybody talks about their taste and interests, and she'd probably be flattered if he talked to her about her sense of aesthetics, which he clearly has no idea about. After several rounds of completely loving up (no birthday gift wtf), he did the barest bare minimum "filling out the worksheet right before the bell rings" level of paying attention and half observed one thing she does, taking pictures of their son, and didn't even think about it hard enough to notice that she also likes printing them out and hanging them up. Any gift that says "here, now you don't have to do that thing you enjoy anymore!" is a pretty bad one. I was born into a family of lazy/thoughtless gift givers and I can tell you it's not at all about the Stuff, and very much about feeling like a stranger in your own home.
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Feb 16, 2018 01:22
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