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CAPT. Rainbowbeard posted:Well, it doesn't. But it fucks up the Laws of Physics (Keep The Laws!) and it's not very stealthy when things fall sideways, smell purple, and feel like the sound of breaking femurs now. In all fairness, tricking paladins into wearing items cursed with synaesthesia is hilarious
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Feb 16, 2018 09:34
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Oh, for sure. The original question was how to literally stay under the radar, though.
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Feb 16, 2018 09:52
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I recently went to the other end of the spectrum to make myself invisible to gamma and x-rays, and it's been pretty sweet. I'm in the process of moving my lair to a plane that's suffered some sort of nuclear holocaust (skeletons galore!), but I'm invisible/immune to the radiation. I can't wait for the next batch of heroes to show up here to try and take me down. There's a comedy option too. If I cast Explosive Runes on the inside of my robes and get a medical x-ray, the runes are the only thing the machine sees. The look on the techs' faces right before the screen explodes are hilarious.
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Feb 16, 2018 12:11
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Feb 16, 2018 13:59
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To fix the problem of me being a skeleton I made a clone. But the clone ran off before I could transfer my soul into it. It has all my memories and skills. If it starts posting here is that account sharing?
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Feb 16, 2018 15:08
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Change all your passwords ASAP. Unless you’re still mindlinked to the clone, in that case just kill yourself before your memories differentiate too much.
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Feb 16, 2018 17:09
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mycomancy posted:I see that you, too, are watching The Magicians.
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Feb 16, 2018 17:13
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Capri Sun Tzu posted:Thoroughly enjoyed the first season, dropped off in season 2. Is 3 any good? Season 3 is excellent, do recommend.
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Feb 16, 2018 17:19
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Al Borland Corp. posted:To fix the problem of me being a skeleton I made a clone. But the clone ran off before I could transfer my soul into it. It has all my memories and skills. If it starts posting here is that account sharing? Transfer your memories to the past. Chances are youre actually the clone.
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Feb 17, 2018 02:30
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i'm constantly hosed up so i cast magic missile since it always hits
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Feb 17, 2018 02:42
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Ok, it's the lunar new year. praise the moon. My castle is about to phase back into the anti-ether...... so I am putting out an ultimatum: Those of you who do not return books you have purloined, borrowed, checked out, or stolen from my library.... heed my hex... a darkness shall fall upon you. an unreturned book shall become a curse. May the shadows of your dreams collapse into stars of hate.
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Feb 17, 2018 03:30
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Take your bitch rear end curses somewhere else. I got like 50 thralls i can pass this poo poo off too.
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Feb 17, 2018 03:57
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Al Borland Corp. posted:To fix the problem of me being a skeleton I made a clone. But the clone ran off before I could transfer my soul into it. It has all my memories and skills. If it starts posting here is that account sharing? Last time I cloned myself it turned out to be a lady clone. We ended up dating for like 4 years
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Feb 17, 2018 04:41
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Hihohe posted:Take your bitch rear end curses somewhere else. I got like 50 thralls i can pass this poo poo off too. lol if you don't have wards that disperse curses aimed at you onto random innocent villagers all over the realm
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Feb 17, 2018 04:43
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hell astro course posted:Ok, it's the lunar new year. praise the moon. My castle is about to phase back into the anti-ether...... I think we're square.
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Feb 17, 2018 08:46
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Hey guys, just starting out as an evil wizard (I was a normal wizard for a while but the guys I was working with were all assholes) and i'm not sure what to do. My boss has me in these mines and got me to ressurect a bunch of skeletons. That's cool but they mainly ignore me and patrol around and now i'm starting to get a little bored. I tried talking to the souls of some bodies I found round here but nothing happened. Also when I tried to leave the mines some invisible wall thing stopped me. Like I walked through it but everything around me got weird and I was back in my quarters. Thinking about it I'm pretty much stuck here. I know how to make skeletons come to life, but they mostly ignore me. Can also cast one(1) magic missile and make some grease appear on the ground. What should I do?
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Feb 17, 2018 18:16
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Cobra Lionfist posted:Hey guys, just starting out as an evil wizard (I was a normal wizard for a while but the guys I was working with were all assholes) and i'm not sure what to do. My boss has me in these mines and got me to ressurect a bunch of skeletons. That's cool but they mainly ignore me and patrol around and now i'm starting to get a little bored. I tried talking to the souls of some bodies I found round here but nothing happened. Also when I tried to leave the mines some invisible wall thing stopped me. Like I walked through it but everything around me got weird and I was back in my quarters. You're going to need to grind some serious evil points, maybe just keep summoning and being mean to skeletons. Maybe with that slip spell. They tend not to be very steady on their feet anyways. It may feel silly but every time they slip yell "nice one wiseheimer" or "you bonehead!" You'll eventually gain some levels. It helps if you're super angry at whoever trapped you although ironic detachment can fuel evil p well
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Feb 17, 2018 23:01
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Now your boss has skeletons AND an evil wizard guarding the mine. I'd find a way to hide before adventurers come, but, I mean, they're gonna find you. They're gonna touch and/or trash everything, what with all the meth they do. Probably just gloss over all the books you leave laying around, and trying to ignore any speeches or Magic Mouths you got set up in there. But you could try to get out. Until then you're a miniboss, I'm afraid. Maybe... maybe enthrall one of the weaker skeletons, and try to force it to pass the barrier and see what happens? Let us know.
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Feb 18, 2018 15:30
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Ooo I know, summon a big glowing exclamation point over your head with an illusion spell and don't attack any adventurers that come through. They'll think you're a npc quest giver! Tell them a tale about the evil wizard that trapped you like it's a puzzle to solve adventurers can't resist that stuff. Also give them fetch quests, they'll go gather spell components and give them to you. Just make sure to betray them once you're free to keep your evil status
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Feb 18, 2018 17:18
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Feb 18, 2018 22:38
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I went to a party and lo and behold Kangaxx waltzed in wearing an exact replica of my robe of impenetrable darkness. Said, it's cool, we're twinkies. No, it's not cool you cheap simulacra of a wizard whose crampin my style it's not cool at all.
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Feb 18, 2018 22:43
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Your well within your right to ash that style stealing Morloc
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Feb 19, 2018 08:08
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I'm planning on summoning a demon into our world. I know they have a bad reputation but I have a good feeling about this guy
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Feb 19, 2018 08:28
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Pebergehund posted:I'm planning on summoning a demon into our world. I know they have a bad reputation but I have a good feeling about this guy Let me know what realm he’s from
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Feb 19, 2018 11:09
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Heh you think I'm owned because I stepped into your antimagic field trap?? Time to use Regular Missile
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Feb 19, 2018 17:05
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Has anyone here had success with circumventing holy mind control? I’ve been recently captured by a team of crusaders and I made a deal for my life and freedom if I underwent a ritual to their god. Of course I don’t plan on actually repenting but I’ve seen evil acquaintances go through the same ordeal, with no doubt the same mindset, and still come out reformed as a ‘hero’. I need some way to resist it, or at least reset myself after the fact. The later might even be better, as it’ll make it easier to betray them. Any ideas?
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Feb 19, 2018 17:30
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Everyone is the hero in their own story. Just apply some simple moral relativism and you can go on doing as you like. If their god catches onto this, just kill it.
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Feb 19, 2018 17:41
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Just as a quick off-hand idea, you could create a copy of your current mindstate and embed it in a cursed item that the good version if you is certain to come in contact with. I'd recommend including time and contact triggers so it doesn't go off on the wrong person or take place before you've earned their trust. A selective amnesia spell will also be required of course to keep your good self from recognizing and avoiding the trap.
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Feb 19, 2018 17:43
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If time and resources are in short supply, you could try making a bargain with dark powers to restore you later. I'd treat this as a last resort though, and only then if the souls of the do-gooders are acceptable payment in lieu of your own. Otherwise you'll probably be restored at an inopportune time, immediately smited, and have your soul claimed as payment upon technical fulfillment of the contract. Personally I'd trust in my own nature naturally reasserting itself before taking that route.
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Feb 19, 2018 18:00
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Watching good wizards cry because you took their spellbook warms the cavity where my soul used to be.
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Feb 19, 2018 18:27
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Hi, I've been a skeleton for a few decades doing various errands for my master. Unfortunately, he was slain by a group of adventurers while I was away collecting corpses. So I'm now unemployed and have had no luck finding employment. It has been a long time since I've had to pound the pavement, but why are job requirements so insane nowadays? You would think being an animate skeleton would be enough for menial work, but now everyone demands a college degree. I tried to go finish my degree from back when I still had flesh, but how am I supposed to get financing when the banks discriminate against me for being dead? Bigots. Any tips would be appreciated. Should I consider working for Boohber? Power_of_the_glory fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Feb 19, 2018 |
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Feb 19, 2018 18:51
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Hi, I've been a skeleton for a few decades doing various errands for my master. Unfortunately, he was slain by a group of adventurers while I was away collecting corpses. So I'm now unemployed and have had no luck finding employment. It has been a long time since I've had to pound the pavement, but why are job requirements so insane nowadays? You would think being an animate skeleton would be enough for menial work, but now everyone demands a college degree. I tried to go finish my degree from back when I still had flesh, but how am I supposed to get financing when the banks discriminate against me for being dead? Bigots. Any tips would be appreciated. Well you seem to have independence and sentient thought so you might actually be a Lich or Draughr. If you had access to a flesh vat you could try growing your mortal flesh anew; worst case scenario is you're not a lich and the flesh just sloughs off after a couple weeks. Has it occurred to you that you're secretly a horcrux containing the seed of your former master hoping you'll allow him to regain access to the mortal plane in your bones? Because I had to do that once and my skeleton and I had to file my business as a limited partnership while my flesh grew back on his bones. It really messed with both our taxes. These are still his bones inside me, he's a wraith now. Nice guy, married a ghoul we both knew in college (he was my former academic advisor before I skeletoned him)
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Feb 19, 2018 19:25
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I normally don't mention unions (since I don't want my undead servants to get organized), but since you're here, sapient, and asking (and I'm in a demiplane where they won't hear me) I'd suggest seeing if there's a local USW hall. They usually have postings for jobs and for classes. Don't do boohber, they'll just chew you up and spit you out.
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Feb 19, 2018 19:28
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Power_of_the_glory posted:Hi, I've been a skeleton for a few decades doing various errands for my master. Unfortunately, he was slain by a group of adventurers while I was away collecting corpses. So I'm now unemployed and have had no luck finding employment. It has been a long time since I've had to pound the pavement, but why are job requirements so insane nowadays? You would think being an animate skeleton would be enough for menial work, but now everyone demands a college degree. I tried to go finish my degree from back when I still had flesh, but how am I supposed to get financing when the banks discriminate against me for being dead? Bigots. Any tips would be appreciated.
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Feb 19, 2018 21:26
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Delete
Power_of_the_glory fucked around with this message at 21:39 on Feb 19, 2018 |
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Feb 19, 2018 21:35
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It is a tad awkward when you're halfway through regrowing your flesh upon the enthralled skeletal framework of a vanquished foe; one of you feels compelled to yell out "no homo!" jokingly and then you can't look at yourself(s) in the mirror. It does make kicking their spirit out into the aether easier when you're finished, they're usually ready to get them heck out
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Feb 19, 2018 21:56
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My new skeleton was about an inch taller than me and my flesh looks a bit stretched sometimes, like bad 1980's plastic surgery, but I just go with it like it's on purpose (ironically I'm from the 1890's go figure)
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Feb 19, 2018 21:58
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The disembodied spirit of a foe banished from their flesh usually becomes a wraith who of course feeds on the life force of the living, and his girlfriend was a ghoul which is of course a spiritless amalgamation of flesh that hungers for corpses. Funny how opposites attract They a had a sweet deal where he ate their victims' spirit and she their flesh; they offered me in on a business deal on leftover skeletons but my (new, stolen) joints get all itchy when we hung out. PLUS they both got really into libertarian politics and as a being of pure evil I am of course a staunch republican
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Feb 19, 2018 22:11
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Capri Sun Tzu posted:Heh you think I'm owned because I stepped into your antimagic field trap?? Time to use Regular Missile That's a good spell. Pro tier. naem posted:PLUS they both got really into libertarian politics and as a being of pure evil I am of course a staunch republican You sweet summer child.
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Feb 19, 2018 23:39
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naem posted:PLUS they both got really into libertarian politics and as a being of pure evil I am of course a staunch republican As they say, scratch a republican and a lich bleeds.
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Feb 20, 2018 00:39
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