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Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Blade Runner posted:

All the people saying "just don't go to the party!" as though that will go over entirely fine with the kind of person who literally goes to her room and cries over her husband bringing beer to a party
for some odd reason I can't imagine you getting invited to anything

maybe it's the way you throw a fit whenever anyone likes anything you don't

Edit:

Skutter posted:

The pro move there would have been to bring a block of Velveeta and a 1.5L bottle of Arbor Mist.
There was a cheese & wine party on campus when I was an undergrad, where everyone brought a bottle of wine and a type of cheese. The poster specifically stated "if you bring a block of velveeta and a bottle of boone's farm we will break the bottle and stab you with it."

It was a real chill night and I found out that wine gives me migraines.

Yawgmoth fucked around with this message at 19:35 on Feb 27, 2018

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Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax

andrew smash posted:

if you're not a steampunk person and you get invited to a steampunk party, what do you wear? Do you just hot glue some plastic cogs to a vest and call it a night?

I mean I showed up in a nice sweater or button-down with jeans because I didn't care about the theme like half of my friends there. It was like 3 years ago, so I don't exactly remember.

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
My(19f) Boyfriend(23m) is jealous of me meeting the guy I catfished for 6 years.

quote:

This is complicated and long so bear with me. When I was 12 I didn't have many friends so I used chatrooms and sites like second life and IMVU a lot. I made some friends but I never wanted them to know how I actually looked because I was bullied.. a lot.

Through this chatrooms and software I met a guy who we'll call Dave, Dave at the time I met him was around 17-18 and I told him I was around the same age because at the time I maybe had one friend in the real world and I felt alone.

When it came time to exchange pictures I just used some generic emo girl and he just believed me, he showed me himself and he was a pretty athletic guy and he was handsome. He immediately told me "I hate fat chicks, I'm glad you aren't one of those landwhales."

After hearing this part of me wanted to just end the conversation and never speak to him again... But I didn't. This was someone I'd never be friends with in real life based on his personality and so I kept it going.

It's been 6 years, he's had feelings for me on and off based on my personality since I don't send him anymore pictures of the random emo girl I found. I shut him down because I don't want to use him or lead him on romantically.

He's in the military, he's coming through my state to visit his family in the next state over and I told my boyfriend of nearing 10 months that he wants to meet me.

I had to explain to my boyfriend this situation and understandably.. he isn't really keen because what if Dave flips out and tries to harm me or something of that sort.

I've already told Dave that I'm not the girl in the picture I sent him, he still wants to see me in person to "Make sure he sees the real thing."

My boyfriend is obviously uncomfortable with the idea and.. I don't really know if I should follow through with the plans to ease his feelings since he doesn't like Dave.

TL;DR I'm meeting a guy I catfished when I was 12, my boyfriend is jealous about the situation and I'm not sure if I should follow through or not.

The guy already knows I catfished him, wants to see me in person anyway.

John Wick of Dogs
Mar 4, 2017

A real hellraiser


The answer is so obvious. Have your boyfriend meet him, as you. That's the ultimate catfish.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Danaru posted:

My(19f) Boyfriend(23m) is jealous of me meeting the guy I catfished for 6 years.

What could possibly go wrong :allears:

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Demon Of The Fall posted:

*taps finger on lips* Hmmm, how much do I love stinky cheese? *checks box* A LOT

Unironically this

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018

Pick posted:

You need to respect other people for who they are, not disdain them for not being you

how about disrespecting people for being who they are but loving anyways because you can't love yourself? :smith:

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Danaru posted:

My(19f) Boyfriend(23m) is jealous of me meeting the guy I catfished for 6 years.

At least one person in this story is going to get murdered.

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Danaru posted:

My(19f) Boyfriend(23m) is jealous of me meeting the guy I catfished for 6 years.

Why on earth would you agree to this

Al Borland Corp. posted:

The answer is so obvious. Have your boyfriend meet him, as you. That's the ultimate catfish.

100% this

DLC Inc
Jun 1, 2011

he should break up with this obviously emotionally-stunted person who thinks meeting some weirdo she lead on for 5 loving years won't lead to murder

CheesyDog
Jul 4, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Before attending our party, you must first complete the following assessment via SurveyMonkey

Demon Of The Fall
May 1, 2004

Nap Ghost
I wonder how fat that girl is.

Lone Goat
Apr 16, 2003

When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.




DLC Inc posted:

he should break up with this obviously emotionally-stunted person who thinks meeting some weirdo she lead on for 5 loving years won't lead to murder

or just let her go and have things sort themselves out

Skutter
Apr 8, 2007

Well you can fuck that sky high!



Yawgmoth posted:

Edit:
There was a cheese & wine party on campus when I was an undergrad, where everyone brought a bottle of wine and a type of cheese. The poster specifically stated "if you bring a block of velveeta and a bottle of boone's farm we will break the bottle and stab you with it."

It was a real chill night and I found out that wine gives me migraines.

Well those people are boring, but correct that Boone's Farm is bad. At least Arbor Mist looks fancy.

(And it sounds like you are allergic to tannins.)

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

Yawgmoth posted:

for some odd reason I can't imagine you getting invited to anything

maybe it's the way you throw a fit whenever anyone likes anything you don't

Edit:
There was a cheese & wine party on campus when I was an undergrad, where everyone brought a bottle of wine and a type of cheese. The poster specifically stated "if you bring a block of velveeta and a bottle of boone's farm we will break the bottle and stab you with it."

It was a real chill night and I found out that wine gives me migraines.

Sorry I don't like whatever pretentious poo poo you took umbrage with me calling pretentious

Also she's either gonna get killed or have sex with the guy there's no other way that this is going down

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018

Skutter posted:

Well those people are boring, but correct that Boone's Farm is bad. At least Arbor Mist looks fancy.

(And it sounds like you are allergic to tannins.)

which one is the australian one that somehow doesn't count as rotgut because alchoholic milfs chug it?

thats what I bring to parties!

Crespolini
Mar 9, 2014

Blade Runner posted:

Sorry I don't like whatever pretentious poo poo you took umbrage with me calling pretentious


you seem like a huge baby is that good is that working out for you?

Vladimir Putin
Mar 17, 2007

by R. Guyovich

welcome to hell posted:

the resulting party sounds pretty decent. start with something fancy, then later get trashed. but that isn't what was agreed on and the husband was an rear end in a top hat for purposely going against the wife's plans.

cheese questionnaire reminds me of this story that has probably been reposted a few times but is still hilarious.

[25 F] My Fiance Does Not Respect My Wishes/Lifestyle

How hard is it to use the right utensils to eat something?

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Blade Runner posted:

Sorry I don't like whatever pretentious poo poo you took umbrage with me calling pretentious
screaming like an infant because people enjoy a thing and are interested in its variations makes you look like a moron, hth

sorry for your lack of taste

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Caganer posted:

which one is the australian one that somehow doesn't count as rotgut because alchoholic milfs chug it?

thats what I bring to parties!

that would be yellow tail, the best-selling wine label in the world

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Oh god it’s so bad

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Barudak posted:

Its all about knowing the audience, if he had shown up with all 3 franzia flavors and shouted out “Whose ready for the Tour de Franzia” it would have gone better.

Na man they got five now http://www.franzia.com/house-wine-favourites.html

Me I like me a 3l jug of Carlo Rossi Paisano

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

Yawgmoth posted:

screaming like an infant because people enjoy a thing and are interested in its variations makes you look like a moron, hth

sorry for your lack of taste

You're screeching over me not liking a thing and making fun of other people for liking it, then chalking it up to bad taste

Perhaps you should accept that I don't like craft beer or wine/cheese or whatever and not cry over me making fun of the cheese questionnaire woman or the craft beer peeps


Crimpolioni posted:

you seem like a huge baby is that good is that working out for you?

As a mature adult who likes mature adult things such as wine tastings, why does my disliking it get to you so much

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Francis doesn’t come in flavors it comes in colors

Barudak
May 7, 2007

feedmegin posted:

Na man they got five now http://www.franzia.com/house-wine-favourites.html

Me I like me a 3l jug of Carlo Rossi Paisano

All this means is that there are now more stages to the Tour de Franzia. Everyone, back to your stations, were going into the mountains.

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011

Pick posted:

Francis doesn’t come in flavors it comes in colors

Red wine is good white is good I like champagne most

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Blade Runner posted:

You're screeching over me not liking a thing and making fun of other people for liking it, then chalking it up to bad taste

Perhaps you should accept that I don't like craft beer or wine/cheese or whatever and not cry over me making fun of the cheese questionnaire woman or the craft beer peeps


As a mature adult who likes mature adult things such as wine tastings, why does my disliking it get to you so much
I don't give a poo poo if you like it or not, it's your constant bleating about how much you don't like it that makes you sound like you poo poo your pants upon hearing that you might be served something other than french fries drenched in ketchup

people liking a thing doesn't make them pretentious and neither does the fact that you don't understand anything about that thing

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Blade Runner posted:

You're screeching over me not liking a thing and making fun of other people for liking it, then chalking it up to bad taste

Perhaps you should accept that I don't like craft beer or wine/cheese or whatever and not cry over me making fun of the cheese questionnaire woman or the craft beer peeps


As a mature adult who likes mature adult things such as wine tastings, why does my disliking it get to you so much

I don't care if you like wine or not, it's you cheering on the boorish husband's asinine behaviour that's getting on my tits

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

Pick posted:

Oh god it’s so bad

I read an article once that claimed selling the same wine under the same name but with an animal on the label increased sales by a huge factor. I have no idea if their data was good or not but I like their conclusion because it gives me a reason I can live with for why yellow tail is so loving popular

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
Hard cider is the best booze because it's cheap and also tastes great

boner confessor
Apr 25, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Blade Runner posted:

You're screeching over me not liking a thing and making fun of other people for liking it, then chalking it up to bad taste

Perhaps you should accept that I don't like craft beer or wine/cheese or whatever and not cry over me making fun of the cheese questionnaire woman or the craft beer peeps


As a mature adult who likes mature adult things such as wine tastings, why does my disliking it get to you so much

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snhiofL2Rh4

andrew smash posted:

I read an article once that claimed selling the same wine under the same name but with an animal on the label increased sales by a huge factor. I have no idea if their data was good or not but I like their conclusion because it gives me a reason I can live with for why yellow tail is so loving popular

like 90% of wine sales are based on the packaging

Stevie Lee
Oct 8, 2007

Clark Nova posted:

Asking a woman to sign an abortion contract has got to be the most effective form of birth control ever devised.

there's an NBA player who infamously did this when he was in college. pretty sure it was JJ Redick and I think there may be a copy of the contract online somewhere

e: J.J. Redick And His Ex-Girlfriend Had An Abortion Contract
e2: I guess it was during his first year in the league, not in college

Stevie Lee fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Feb 27, 2018

Galaxy Brain
Dec 13, 2017

by Lowtax
"Every relationship problem stems from a lack of communication."

"CONVERSATION? Why would anyone ever do that?"

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway
im not screeching YOURE SCREECHING

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

Galaxy Brain posted:

"Every relationship problem stems from a lack of communication."

"CONVERSATION? Why would anyone ever do that?"

my husband brought in several DreamWorks minions and cockatiels to my calm discussion party

Crespolini
Mar 9, 2014

Blade Runner posted:

As a mature adult who likes mature adult things such as wine tastings, why does my disliking it get to you so much

your wailing in the background throws me off my game, and i embarrass myself in front of everyone by pairing the gouda with the chardonnay

Danaru
Jun 5, 2012

何 ??
[MA] Catfishing another student outside of school

quote:

To be clear, catfishing is legal in the United States. About a week ago a myself and a fellow student, one of my good friends, made an Instagram account to sort of catfish another student. The student we were catfishing was new this year and from Egypt. He is a very odd teen and does not approach girls very well, by this I mean he stalks many of my friends' girlfriends and can't seem to hide an erection when walking by them. It's very weird but not all that relevant to the topic. Anyways we made a fake persona and asked him if he wanted to date and of course he said yes. This was over a 1 week school vacation so he obviously couldn't do anything with the fake girl because he had no clue who she was and had never met her. The next day we let another friend of ours in on the ordeal but he took things a step further by asking for nude photos of the boy. Myself and the original friend who made the account were not on board with this and wanted out of it as soon as this happened. The 2nd, and newest, friend on the account screenshotted the pictures and began showing them to people. This became a very big issue today when we all came back from the 1 week school vacation and now the 3 of us are in hot water. The first friend isn't in any trouble that I know of, but the second friend has admitted to what he did and understands that it was wrong. I stand in the middle of all this because I didn't ask for the pictures or screenshot them, but I did create the account that was used to obtain the pictures. I'm concerned that this could affect me in legal and educational ways with records or punishments that I feel are too heavy for something I didn't have much control over. Yes, I gave both friends the login for the Instagram account but on the other hand I don't see why I should be held accountable to an extreme just for having created the account.

lol you helped obtain and distribute child pornography you stupid motherfucker

Blade Runner
Aug 14, 2015

tactlessbastard posted:

I don't care if you like wine or not, it's you cheering on the boorish husband's asinine behaviour that's getting on my tits

I'm cheering on the guy who burst into the stuffy wine tasting with a fuckton of beer(yes it is piss beer, which makes the story better) screamed about partying, then everyone started pulling their ties loose and drinking the beer because that entire sequence of events is both hilarious and straight from a beer commercial or college movie

If you don't think the story is funny and can't laugh at Bluto and his marriage to that cheerleader he pirate grabbed out the crowd, I don't know what to tell you

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018
Searching for "pretentious" brings up some gems:

My [51] son's [25] gf [25] is a pretentious nurse.

quote:

My son Mike has been dating a girl named Trina for a little over a year. Trina is a very nice girl, smart, but comes off very pretentious to me and it's getting on my last nerve. Trina is a nurse, and she never lets an opportunity go to weasel the fact that she is a nurse into most conversations. (She has been a nurse for maybe 6-7 years at most.) She works primarily with dementia / alzheimers people. Almost everything out of this girl's mouth is either a story about being a nurse or a medical fact. I'll give you some examples. We go to dinner, she talks about the foods nutritional value. She comments about how the metabolism works and so on and so forth. I feel as if it's all some kind of act. Like she must act smart to prove something? Or she wants validation and praise for being such a "good person". Another example is my friend comes to visit with her new baby, Trina makes a joke about how feeding a baby reminds her of feeding an alzheimer's patient at work. Seriously? You just have to mention being a nurse to EVERYONE? It annoys me to the point where I don't even want to be around her. She comes off like she thinks shes hot poo poo because she does that kind of work. What do I do? Should I tell her that she comes off as pretentious? My son seems to think I'm jealous but I'm not.

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boner confessor
Apr 25, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Caganer posted:

Searching for "pretentious" brings up some gems:

My [51] son's [25] gf [25] is a pretentious nurse.

hate my son's girlfriend so much i'm compelled to complain about her on reddit

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