/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

flick my Mr. Bean posted:

Sometimes rich people don't get that their "generosity" can come off like they're trying to buy you.

he's absolutely trying to buy her.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 07:40

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:45

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Ham Sandwiches posted:

I found a video of the party wife OP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqDLqWNA9Eg

this woman sucks, steve is ex-lawyer-now-grower pete

# ? Mar 3, 2018 07:48

Nitr0: Aug 17, 2005; IT'S FREE REAL ESTATE

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The guy (29m) I�ve (26 f) been talking to for a couple of weeks is moving super fast and buying me gifts.

Run, OP. Run fast, ran far, run and don't look back.

She should just gently caress and see if that's all it is

# ? Mar 3, 2018 07:51

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's just desperate/clueless/lonely and doesn't realize he needs to cool it

But know in how the story normally pans out he's probably a creep

# ? Mar 3, 2018 08:01

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

The guy in 50 Shades of Grey did the same thing and he turned out to be completely normal.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 08:26

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The guy (29m) I’ve (26 f) been talking to for a couple of weeks is moving super fast and buying me gifts.

Run, OP. Run fast, ran far, run and don't look back.

Gifts are acts of aggression and he is working his way up to murdering you. :sever:

# ? Mar 3, 2018 08:48

HellOnEarth: Nov 7, 2005; Now that's good jerky!

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I don't know, I usually think of it as an American thing. You'd be hard pressed to find someone named after their own parent among Jews in Israel. At most you get some grandparent's name as a middle name.

It's because if you name a kid after a still living relative, the angel of death might get mixed up and kill the baby, not the old person.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 08:54

The Ol Spicy Keychain: Jan 17, 2013; I MEPHISTO MY OWN ASSHOLE

Ham Sandwiches posted:

I found a video of the party wife OP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqDLqWNA9Eg

it's over

# ? Mar 3, 2018 08:57

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

HellOnEarth posted:

It's because if you name a kid after a still living relative, the angel of death might get mixed up and kill the baby, not the old person.

That depends on the branch. In Orthodox Judaism, in the Ashkenazi branch you're not supposed to use the name of a living grandparent, but in the Sephardi and the slightly different Yemenite branches you can (and also the Dutch Ashkenazi branch? They're apparently kind of weird. They also allow half an hour break meat to dairy, not just dairy to meat).

# ? Mar 3, 2018 09:05

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I'm wondering if one of the current VPs said something to him that made him particularly self-conscious of his wife.

Also, every time someone discusses Ham Sandwiches, I get a little hungrier. It's making me fat and sloppy.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 09:59

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3792330&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1777#post476726568

Whoever okayed that should have been shot, that should not have been allowed to happen. Some surveyor or someone along the chain of land sale should have said "you absolutely need a way in. In legal writing."

# ? Mar 3, 2018 09:59

John Wick of Dogs: Mar 4, 2017; A real hellraiser

dudeness posted:

The guy in 50 Shades of Grey did the same thing and he turned out to be completely normal.

It's true, three books and one helicopter crash later they were practicaly the cleavers.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 13:10

Khorne: May 1, 2002

My (19M) girlfriend (20F) of three weeks is talking about marriage and saying I love you.

quote:

This is my first relationship. She lives kinda far away and I don't have a vehicle due to an accident I had a little while ago. Not only is it difficult to spend time with her, but she has a kid and has hinted at getting married.

Now, it's not just her. I was terrified of pissing her off and making her leave me so when she started saying I love you a week into being together, I said it back. I may have not shot down the idea of getting married either.

I'm in the military so I feel like she's trying to move so fast simply because of the benefits I can give her kid. I hate to think like that but it's been a constant thought in my head.

I know I screwed the pooch by returning the "I love you's" but how do I back out of this with some tact? I don't want to seem like a dickhead but I need to look out for number one here.

TL;DR I don't want to date a single mom who has moved way too fast for me. What's a good way to break it off?

From the title: run
From the content: What is wrong with you? What drives people to be so paranoid and reach ridiculous conclusions while spewing dumb garbage like "I don't want to seem like a dickhead but I need to look out for number one here"? Are you seriously asking how to break up with someone you've known three weeks while you're in the military?

girl pants posted:

Disclaimer: I am not Tiny Bronto but I admire good work when I see it

I kind of wonder if Khorne is a maskenfreiheit alt sometimes

People have dropped some sick burns on me in this thread, I usually get a chuckle out of them, but I'm not laughing here. Not one bit. :reject:

Khorne fucked around with this message at 13:37 on Mar 3, 2018

# ? Mar 3, 2018 13:27

The Ol Spicy Keychain: Jan 17, 2013; I MEPHISTO MY OWN ASSHOLE

Khorne posted:

My (19M) girlfriend (20F) of three weeks is talking about marriage and saying I love you.

From the title: run
From the content: What is wrong with you? What drives people to be so paranoid and reach ridiculous conclusions while spewing dumb garbage like "I don't want to seem like a dickhead but I need to look out for number one here"? Are you seriously asking how to break up with someone you've known three weeks while you're in the military?
People have dropped some sick burns on me in this thread, I usually get a chuckle out of them, but I'm not laughing here. Not one bit.

Love how he just immediately assumes she's scheming. She's just after my money, my big military E-1 benefits..

# ? Mar 3, 2018 13:50

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Romance is scary let�s skip to the begrudging tolerance stage

# ? Mar 3, 2018 14:14

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

No.

Cannot live without constant butterflies. It needs to be like this. I've seen it in films.

*Destroys perfectly normal functioning relationship*

# ? Mar 3, 2018 14:33

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Scent of Worf posted:

Love how he just immediately assumes she's scheming. She's just after my money, my big military E-1 benefits..

Hes dumb as hell but I know a woman marrying a military man because of his benefits because she is, and tou may freely quote me �so dumb God feels a little bad�

# ? Mar 3, 2018 14:47

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Scent of Worf posted:

Love how he just immediately assumes she's scheming. She's just after my money, my big military E-1 benefits..

Did you never watch An Officer and a Gentleman?

# ? Mar 3, 2018 15:02

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Scent of Worf posted:

Love how he just immediately assumes she's scheming. She's just after my money, my big military E-1 benefits..

Romeo here is hearing all about dependapotomuses from his Army bros and he's panicking.

That said, there are loads of people out there, especially young single moms, for whom even E-1 bennies would vastly improve their situation.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 15:59

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Absurd Alhazred posted:

They're apparently kind of weird. They also allow half an hour break meat to dairy, not just dairy to meat).

Double Meat to Dairy was the weirdest Axe marketing campaign.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 16:35

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Scent of Worf posted:

Love how he just immediately assumes she's scheming. She's just after my money, my big military E-1 benefits..

I mean, it's not that dumb of an assumption honestly

# ? Mar 3, 2018 16:52

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

/r/dating is like a :3:

version of /r/relationships

Are all meetings with someone from Tinder considered a date? (self.dating)

quote:

We're going for Korean barbecue but I never clarified. I never asked and my friends keep saying if I don't ask it's not a date. I'm pretty sure its a date though. I'm male for reference

# ? Mar 3, 2018 17:14

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

I (27F) recently found out my SO (32M) recently had a thing with a (17F).. I am weirded out and not sure what to think

quote:

My partner and I have been together for about 10 months. We were distant friends before for a while, we knew who one another were but we never really talked or hung out. Around the end of 2016/start of 2017 I saw this one specific girl who he's been posting some photos on his snapchat stories, nothing scandalous or anything but you could tell she wasn't 'just a friend' because there were photos of her just chilling at his place.

Soon after that we started talking and flirting a bit and those photos stopped. According to him she wasn't his girlfriend, they went on a few dates and hung out a bit and nothing came out of it. He was a bit.. promiscuous in the past and he's been open and honest about it. He never mentioned much about her and I never really asked about it but I'm assuming that they were sleeping together and if he did sleep with her, thats fine I don't really care because we weren't together then.

In a random conversation once I asked him what age was the youngest girl he ever slept with. He said it was an 18 year old girl when he was about 28 years old. He said they met at a bar and she lied about her age (legal age to enter bars/clubs here are 21), he said he saw her ID and got freaked out (after they had sex) and never saw her again and would never 'go there' again. He even said younger girls are very inexperienced and bad at sex so he's less interested.

Back to the original girl, like I said, I never really cared about who she was. Just tonight, coincidentally a photo of her showed up on my feed, she was tagged in it with another facebook friend of mine. I thought she looked familiar so I looked at her profile and yes, it was that girl my SO was 'dating' prior to me. In one of the photos in her facebook, she recently celebrated her 17th birthday in January... means that when she was with my SO she was 16 while he was 31.... well, first of all, even if they never had sex and just went on a few dates thats still fkin weird. I mean.. really? she's still in high school, I'm sure he would've known? The thing is she seems very... "out there", her photos are all her in very little clothing and showing a lot of cleavage, bikini pics, fully dolled up in make up, I wouldn't have guessed she was 17. I also noticed they are not friends on facebook. I mean, I could give him the benefit of the doubt and maybe he never knew her age but common, I'm sure you would've stalked her on facebook even if you're not Facebook friends? I'm sure you would've known she's in school? or maybe he just wanted to get laid and didn't care lol.

I mean, I could confront him about it and ask him but I just seriously doubt he didn't have an idea of her age. Considering it wasn't just a one night stand and from what I know they went out a few times.

tl;dr: boyfriend was dating a 16 year old a year ago???? not sure what to think about it.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:34

Ride The Gravitron: May 2, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

maskenfreiheit posted:

this make me so
Is it okay to be open to dating if I'm overweight? (self.dating)

Should be illegal to date while fat

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:42

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Should be illegal to date while fat

what if you get fat while dating

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:46

Milotic: Mar 4, 2009; 9CL apologist; Slippery Tilde

You had a big party is all

Had a Wedding, but wife hesitant to sign Marriage License app. 2 years later.

quote:

u/BigHose_911
My wife [30F] and I [30M] had a wedding two years ago without getting the marriage license. We both lead very busy lives so I thought it was just something we'd get to soon (although I had planned on it being done long before now).

Recently I went and got the application for the license and watched as it sat on the kitchen counter for over a month. I told her it was starting to upset me that she hadn't filled out her portion, despite multiple reminders and placing it front and center on the kitchen counter with a pen next to it (the application literally takes 1-2 minutes to complete) . Eventually it wore on me enough that we had big blow up fight about it. She said when she was married once before and signing that paper "caused her relationship to change". I've always tried to make it clear this is not her last marriage 2.0. Eventually after reminding her again a week later (that kind of reminder where you can tell something is still really bothering someone) she said she'd fill it out. She told me I'd have to take it down to the court house which I declined because I'd like her to give SOME effort towards this thing. She said she'd have to take time off and she couldn't - but she always manages to take time off when one of her hobbies requires it so why not this? It feels like I'm trying to force her to do something and I'm not comfortable with that. If that were the case, obviously I'd rather just not do this at all than force someone into a legal marriage.

It hurts that my wife is so incredibly unenthusiastic to get legally married. I see so many people around our age where all they can do is be excited - can't get it done fast enough, ya know? And then there is this - more of an "ehh..." speed. It makes me feel like I'm not worthy of being married to anymore, she said this wasnt the case (stated during our initial fight).

I've been upset about this for a few days. I'm not really sure how to handle what/how I feel and I've mostly just stayed quiet in general around her. She hasn't brought up the issue and certainly hasn't apologized for the way it's made me feel. It seems like NOT doing this paperwork will create a self-fulfilling prophecy - by avoiding it now it is changing our relationship. I mean - she has mentioned kids in the future but how am I expected to be comfortable taking that step if she can't take this one without all this stress and procrastination?

I'm conflicted. This whole thing is started to change the way I perceive our relationship. I want to be sympathetic to her history, but WE need to be a priority at some point.

Am I allowed to be angry? How do I address this moving forward?

TL:DR - Had wedding, no legally binding paperwork. Got marriage license app., wife uninterested in filling it out making husband feel like poo poo.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:47

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Should be illegal to date while fat

i guess this is what i get for seriousposting :smith:

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:48

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Milotic posted:

You had a big party is all

Had a Wedding, but wife hesitant to sign Marriage License app. 2 years later.

Stop calling her your wife, first off.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:50

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Barudak posted:

Stop calling her your wife, first off.

It might be a common-law marriage, depending on jurisdiction.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:51

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Absurd Alhazred posted:

It might be a common-law marriage, depending on jurisdiction.

that would be a hilarious self own if she's on the fence and ends up having to split assets anyways

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:52

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Milotic posted:

You had a big party is all

Had a Wedding, but wife hesitant to sign Marriage License app. 2 years later.

Maybe don't be a loving baby and take it to the courthouse yourself?

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:55

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Absurd Alhazred posted:

It might be a common-law marriage, depending on jurisdiction.

Its true that theyve been together two years, but unless they dated and cohabitated for half a decade before hand they still wouldnt be a common law marriage. Dudes just a weenie

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:58

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

"I've always tried to make it clear this is not her last marriage."

Had to re-read that line to understand it the way he meant it.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:01

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Still misread it, it's "this is not her last marriage 2.0." i.e. it's not just a newer version of her previous lovely marriage

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:04

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Anne Whateley posted:

Still misread it, it's "this is not her last marriage 2.0." i.e. it's not just a newer version of her previous lovely marriage

Hell it�s not even her second marriage.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:09

Admiral Ray: May 17, 2014; Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

Milotic posted:

You had a big party is all

Had a Wedding, but wife hesitant to sign Marriage License app. 2 years later.

quote:

It hurts that my wife is so incredibly unenthusiastic to get legally married.

It sounds like you're a real catch yourself with your passive-aggressive legal-form nagging. She should :sever:

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:11

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Barudak posted:

Its true that theyve been together two years, but unless they dated and cohabitated for half a decade before hand they still wouldnt be a common law marriage. Dudes just a weenie

This varies by state.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:13

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

My GF[24] wants to have sex with a co-worker. I�m M[28] been dating for 2.5 years

quote:

So, my GF whom I live with wants to have sex with a co worker and doesn�t know why she has these feelings. She�s never had a long relationship. 2 for around 4-5 months and 1 for around 9 months. I�ve had one for 8 years and another for 4 years. She says she�s already been through her sleeping around phase. She says that I�m the one she wants to be with and she loves me, which I believe her.

She went out to the bar with him and some friends a couple weeks ago and realized she was having sexual feelings for this guy. She says she has no emotional attachment to him and doesn�t want to date him or be with him. She only sees me as the one. She says that she thinks she feels that way because it�s something new and he�s Spanish. Not because he�s better, just because he�s different from me.

A lot of girls at her job want him but he doesn�t want them. A week ago she went to a pool to chill with the same crew from the bar (including him) and told me on her way home that she told him about her feelings because she had to get it off her chest. Then they just talked for like an hour she said. Of course, he�s 23 and said he wanted to have sex with her too. Of course he did, the guys 23 and she�s hot.

Again I�m glad she�s being honest here but it still hurts. She says she likes the attention because in high school she �wasn�t hot� and no one gave her attention like that. She says she doesn�t know why she feels that way. She says if she has sex with him she feels like the feelings will go away and she can move on and she thinks it will make our relationship stronger. She says she wants to marry me one day and that I�m the only one she wants to be with.

Up until now, I�ve been in it to win it with her. I love her dearly. We�ve been talking about all this for the past week. She wants to know if I could give her permission to have sex with him.

She even asked me last night if I wanted to have sex with one of her girlfriends or anyone else. I said absolutely not, I don�t want to have sex with anyone else. I asked her, EVEN IF, I gave her permission, would she feel clean or ok afterwards? She said well she wouldn�t feel dirty.

She told me today that she does want to settle down and feels like it would be a �last hurrah� of sorts. I mean of course I�m not ok with it, but I love her so much. I don�t know what to do. Should I give her permission? I�m scared that she will want to be with him afterwards. What would I feel like afterwards? Would I be disgusted with her? I don�t know.

We did discuss hypothetical rules already, just so I could gain some leverage and have some sort of control and see her reaction. She says shes not sure if she would go through with it if I said it was ok.

TLDR: My GF wants to gently caress another dude to get those feelings off her chest and move on from him. She wants me to give her permission. Wtf should I feel like?

sex positivity has come so far redditors are not sure if they are being unreasonable when they feel they don't want their partners to gently caress people from the office

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:21

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Caganer posted:

sex positivity has come so far redditors are not sure if they are being unreasonable when they feel they don't want their partners to gently caress people from the office

He's just not mature enough yet. This is all just a tragic display of insecurity and jealously, he should get over it.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:24

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 14:45

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Caganer posted:

My GF[24] wants to have sex with a co-worker. I�m M[28] been dating for 2.5 years

sex positivity has come so far redditors are not sure if they are being unreasonable when they feel they don't want their partners to gently caress people from the office

Seriously wondering if this could end in any other way than catastrophy

# ? Mar 3, 2018 19:27

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