Haifisch posted:

Here, have some woke kids.

TheMostFrench posted:

This is totally 'I needed validation for the joke I made, but it might sound cuter if I say it came from my kid'.

Aleph Null posted:

Little girl makes dad joke.

Nth Doctor posted:

No pun, not a Dad joke.
Source: I have two kids and am hilarious

gschmidl posted:

It's Rick & Morty copypasta.

CopywrightMMXI posted:

Hi Hilarious, I’m dad!

Haifisch posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

I've tried learning Japanese.

Don't.

Stoatbringer posted:

I'm learning Japanese.
I think I'm learning Japanese.
I really think so.

Haifisch posted:

We've found the template from which all STDH arises:

Haifisch posted:

We've found the template from which all STDH arises:

Seventh Arrow posted:

You'll have to add your own bad spelling, grammar, and ellipses as well.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

That elevator one is just so stupid. In reality I guarantee he just sheepishly said "ok..." and sulked down the stairs while imagining how badass it would be if he got his incredibly petty revenge.

Avenging_Mikon posted:

Not to mention if the elevator is actually that slow, why would you bother taking it when you’re a person capable of going down the stairs that quickly. Even if you go at a more moderate pace you’ll beat it by not having to go push a button, and wait to hear a grumble.

"gaydad122" posted:

Warning I’m super triggered lol so this might be pretty long


So today I was at the hospital, me and my partner were carrying Freddy and Freya down the corridor and I noticed that this couple in the waiting room kept staring at us. I let it slide because i thought that it was most likely because we had the babies in our arms and they where looking at them. We kept walking up and down the corridor and they kept staring so I awkwardly smiled at the man and he says under his breath “faggots”, I never actually heard him say this but my partner did and he was very very angry about it but I told him to leave it because it’s not worth it, so he did leave it. We continued to walk and then the women started to approach us, I’d say she was around 30. As she was walking over the man was growling at me and my partner. The women says “could you two please walk along the other corridors as you are both distressing my husband” so I say “how exactly are we distressing him” she continues to say “he doesn’t think two men raising children is right, neither do I for that matter. Those poor children will be joining you both in hell for being part of such a toxic family” at this point we where in complete shock at the cheek of this women. We have experienced homophobia before but never as severe as this especially whilst our children where around. I wanted to burst into tears but I calmly managed to say “if you think a loving family is “toxic” then that makes you toxic. These babies will be so loved and will have an amazing life regardless of mine or my husbands sexuality so you can stick your homophobia up your rear end because your views do not change mine and my families love for each other, thank you, have a good day” I then reported the couple to hospital staff and got on with cuddling my little ones. It hurts me to think of people that do not approve of our situation, but there will always be negativity out there no matter what. Wether I’m straight, gay, bisexual or a loving unicorn it has 0 affect on my ability of being a father. I’m so blessed to have all of the support I do but it’s just little comments like that which really annoy me. Why say something horrible when you could just say nothing at all. I know this will be the first of many attacks me and my husband will receive, but no matter what we will hold our heads high and continue to support, cherish and care for our beautiful children❤️

genetic_knockout posted:

Found this on my pregnancy forum--I totally don't doubt the first part probably happened, but then it just veers right into stdh territory

Haifisch posted:

We've found the template from which all STDH arises:

life is killing me posted:

It's like STDH.txt Mad Libs

sweeperbravo posted:

I hope that's the guys actual username.

genetic_knockout posted:

Found this on my pregnancy forum--I totally don't doubt the first part probably happened, but then it just veers right into stdh territory

genetic_knockout posted:

Found this on my pregnancy forum--I totally don't doubt the first part probably happened, but then it just veers right into stdh territory

Katt posted:

Sir Lemming posted:

was i picked on as a baby? hmm let me think.

• Weighed 18 pounds
  
• Parents were both an anti-vaxxer mom (long story)
  
• Tried having conversations with 3-month olds every day
  
• Had a CGI dog instead of a mouth.
  

TheManWithNoName posted:

From a free newspaper:

yeah I eat rear end posted:

lol at "certified life coach"

CordlessPen posted:

Councilor for "at risk" teenage girl sounds super skeevy...

kazil posted:

The author is a woman...