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I wish they'd get back to making Friday the 13th movies, I don't even care if they're good. As long as they're better than 8/9 I'm down.
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Mar 8, 2018 10:30
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UK people: there's a 35mm screening of Hellraiser including a Q&A with the dude who played the chatterer, it's in March in Bournemouth. https://shelleytheatre.admit-one.eu/?p=details&s=CHPSHELLEY&eventCode=33895 Unfortunately it will require you to go to a place that resembles hell.
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Mar 8, 2018 12:44
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TOOT BOOT posted:I wish they'd get back to making Friday the 13th movies, I don't even care if they're good. As long as they're better than 8/9 I'm down. They stopped making Friday movies because MRAs coopted the core demographic of "people with no friends who can't get laid".
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Mar 8, 2018 14:21
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Friday the 13th Part 6: *Jason gets chained into lake* Friday the 13th Part 7: *Jason comes out of lake* ~60 minutes later~ *Jason gets dragged into the water of the lake* Friday the 13th Part 8: *Begins with Jason underwater in the same lake*  :Clearly these are different Jasons and I've been watching dreams.
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Mar 8, 2018 14:42
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Jason makes a lot more sense if you come at him from the angle that adult Jason was never human, and is just a manifestation of child Jason haunting Crystal Lake. For all intents and purposes he’s the corporeal manifestation of a ghost. That explains why he can regenerate, sticks to (or is always drawn back to) Crystal Lake, and the constant presence of child Jason visions. Like, framing Jason as just a zombie is somehow not supernatural enough.
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Mar 8, 2018 14:43
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Here's a fun non-canonical idea that's totally not in my spec script guys for real: Mrs. Voorhees's first murder spree was not only a prevention of the camp opening, but it was actually sacrificial killings to bring back her son. Before she could kill the last victim, however, she was killed. This, however, was enough to bring back Jason from the dead. That's why he's a child at the end of part 1--his corpse reanimating--and then is able to age into an adult by part 2. Jason supernaturally is able to regenerate and come back constantly because of the love of his mother and her ritualistic sacrifice to bring him back. He is a vengeful spirit who kills out of anger for his own death and his mother's death. Ironically, no matter how many persons he kills, he can't bring back his mother, because her head was severed (despite his attempts in Part 2).
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Mar 8, 2018 14:48
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Zombie child Jason is the one true Jason. All of the subsequent films and the final scene at the hospital are occurring in the fine ol' girl's oxygen starved brain. That's why there are continuity errors and instances of dream logic (sewer sludge turns a man back into a boy, mud golems, etc.).
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Mar 8, 2018 14:51
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Jason is definitely a golem-like figure, the literal manifestation of anger and revenge. A distraught woman out to avenge the death of her son, summoning a golem using the materials of the forest around the place where he died, would fit right in as an X-Files episode or a Pumpkinhead sequel.
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Mar 8, 2018 14:54
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You and I are very much on the same page. My headcanon has always been that Pamela Vorhees was practicing a little deep woods witchcraft to bring her boy back, but she hosed up the sacrifice, so Jason was brought back, but “not quite right.” Again, that whole series makes way more sense if you really come at it as a supernatural narrative from jump street. I’ve mentioned it here before, but if I could ever take the reigns of the franchise I would do a soft reboot by setting it in the “lost” year of ‘87 and building an alternate timeline where The New Blood and Jason Goes To Hell doesn’t exist. Keep the series in the 80’s/90’s, bring in Jason as a leaking, root-covered manifestation of the lake itself, and go hog wild.
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Mar 8, 2018 14:55
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Yeah, I don't think that Pamela was always a witch or anything. She always had a screw loose and Jason's death loosened the rest. In her desperation and grief, she eventually said "Well why not try some black magic?" and now we have the series. Even if it's not fact, it'd certainly be a theory of the locals surrounding the Voorhees legend in my spec script, if there was one, which I'm totally not on the 2nd draft of at all, stop looking at me Fart City posted:I’ve mentioned it here before, but if I could ever take the reigns of the franchise I would do a soft reboot by setting it in the “lost” year of ‘87 and building an alternate timeline where The New Blood and Jason Goes To Hell doesn’t exist. Keep the series in the 80’s/90’s, bring in Jason as a leaking, root-covered manifestation of the lake itself, and go hog wild. Stop plagiarizing my totally non-existent spec script dude.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:17
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Franchescanado posted:Even if it's not fact, it'd certainly be a theory of the locals surrounding the Voorhees legend in my spec script, if there was one, which I'm totally not on the 2nd draft of at all, stop looking at me What about if there was like a backwoods cult surrounding Jason ala The Ritual, but all members are middle aged women because he tolerates their presence on account of their resemblance to his mother.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:33
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Basebf555 posted:What about if there was like a backwoods cult surrounding Jason ala The Ritual, but all members are middle aged women because he tolerates their presence on account of their resemblance to his mother. That's redicu-- *takes notes, adds post-it "Additional Story by Basebf555???"* That's ridiculous and totally not a viable idea I will consider.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:49
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I like the fan theory that the lake itself is the super evil cursed unstoppable force rather than Jason itself because it makes a lot of stuff about how Jason works throughout all the movies gel together like the way he dies in Jason Takes Manhattan. But it would also make for a fun story since you could have folks superstitious of/a cult revolving around the lake as a b plot where they're not necessarily knowledgeable about the lake being able to like, manifest around a person and make them an invincible slasher.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:52
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An evil, sentient lake would also help explain how that boat gets out of a goddamn landlocked body of water.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:54
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James Woods Fan posted:woof at the CGI at the end of The Last Winter. That was some ill advised poo poo. This movie got panned a lot for its admittedly horrible cgi ending but I’ve seen it a couple times and I think it’s pretty good overall. I am however a sucker for Arctic horror and Ron Perlman
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Mar 8, 2018 16:16
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Basebf555 posted:What about if there was like a backwoods cult surrounding Jason ala The Ritual, but all members are middle aged women because he tolerates their presence on account of their resemblance to his mother. This is pretty much the plot for the novel Friday the 13th: Church of the Divine Psychopath
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Mar 8, 2018 16:40
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Did this for the GBS paranasal sinus cancer thread.
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Mar 8, 2018 16:47
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Spinster posted:Did this for the GBS paranasal sinus cancer thread. You were trying to cause it?
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Mar 8, 2018 18:03
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Jedit posted:You were trying to cause it? Oh did I trigger you? My apologies.
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Mar 8, 2018 18:27
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Drunkboxer posted:I want a pure homunculus movie. A period piece preferably, one that involves the creation of a gross little dude from horse dung, blood and semen. Doesn't quite line up to all of your particulars but pretty drat close: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0228687/
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Mar 8, 2018 18:54
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Tolkien minority posted:This movie got panned a lot for its admittedly horrible cgi ending but I’ve seen it a couple times and I think it’s pretty good overall. I am however a sucker for Arctic horror and Ron Perlman It was definitely solid.
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Mar 8, 2018 19:16
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:Doesn't quite line up to all of your particulars but pretty drat close: That looks crazy, thanks.
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Mar 8, 2018 19:35
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Veronica on Netflix now was pretty good, a bit too much of the visuals as I prefer "what isn't there is scarier than what is there" myself but it was well made. I've watched two foreign film's with young female leads titled Thelma and Veronica in the past few days... hmmmm.
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Mar 8, 2018 19:41
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Untrustable posted:I keep trying to get people to watch The Guest and no one will watch The Guest. How do I get more people to watch The Guest? Tell them it's like a darkly comic cross between a fish-out-of-water badass-in-a-domestic-situation comedy (Kindergarten Cop or whatever) and The Substitute. Or whatever, hint at something being off with the titular guest and explain the tone is kind of slasher-y without really showing anything brutal at all. It's tension without brutality, and all of it is sold on the virtue of Dan Stevens' performance. He pretty much makes that movie.
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Mar 8, 2018 20:32
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King Vidiot posted:Tell them it's like a darkly comic cross between a fish-out-of-water badass-in-a-domestic-situation comedy (Kindergarten Cop or whatever) and The Substitute. Alternate idea: Tell them it's one of those stories about a badass(technically true) military vet drifting through town and helping the people with their problems(also technically true) kinda like Yojimbo or Fistful of Dollars. Then just let the rest be a gradual revelation the way it's meant to be.
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Mar 8, 2018 20:37
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Tell them it’s a prequel to Houseguest, and see if you can pinpoint the moment they realize Sinbad isn’t showing up.
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Mar 8, 2018 20:43
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Fart City posted:Jason makes a lot more sense if you come at him from the angle that adult Jason was never human, and is just a manifestation of child Jason haunting Crystal Lake. For all intents and purposes he’s the corporeal manifestation of a ghost. That explains why he can regenerate, sticks to (or is always drawn back to) Crystal Lake, and the constant presence of child Jason visions. Like, framing Jason as just a zombie is somehow not supernatural enough. Yeah, Jason has always seemed like more of a revenant than a zombie to me. Mostly because he is an individual not just one part of a horde and aside from that time Tommy Frankenstein'd him he seems to rise from the dead because he wants* to not because of some external force such as necromancy, radiation (space or regular), or a virus. Revenants** being a type of undead that are not merely the spirits of the dead but the actual corpse risen from the grave. Despite this physicality they have some decidedly non-corporeal abilities. For example they are often invisible to those without second sight or the proper magical glyphs. They can also shapeshift both to take on the form of various animals and also more generally change their size and shape to squeeze themselves through the tiniest cracks and such. Jason has never turned into a bear and he doesn't ever turn invisible but his teleportation powers might suggest that he isn't totally of flesh and blood. *In Bulgarian folklore vampires are sometimes said to be people who literally refused to die and came back from sheer force of willpower. **Quite common in pre-Christian Germanic folklore such as in the nordic Draugr but also found in 17th century Silesia, Greece, and of course vampires are basically an evolution of this creature. William of Newburgh wrote about reports of revenants attacking the living circa 1190. He claims these attacks are too common for him to write about all of them and considers this an entirely new phenomenon since it is not mentioned in any of the classical works of the ancients.
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Mar 8, 2018 21:52
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Did anyone else realize the new The Strangers sequel comes out tomorrow?
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Mar 8, 2018 22:03
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Franchescanado posted:Did anyone else realize the new The Strangers sequel comes out tomorrow? I know we all trust the thread more than reviews, so we'll reserve judgment, but the reviews are.....not good.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:04
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Basebf555 posted:I know we all trust the thread more than reviews, so we'll reserve judgment, but the reviews are.....not good. Agreed. Which MoviePass guinea pig is gonna go first? I still have to see Black Panther and Annihilation first, so I won't be there this weekend.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:07
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Jason chat: I'm still personally fond of my head canon where Jason is explicitly dead from the start of the first film, and just like the guy in Part 5, the guy who takes the head and mask is just some kook. After Part 5 it's now a new, Hammer Horror-style franchise where it is Jason but he's also explicitly undead.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:16
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K. Waste posted:Jason chat: I'm still personally fond of my head canon where Jason is explicitly dead from the start of the first film, and just like the guy in Part 5, the guy who takes the head and mask is just some kook. After Part 5 it's now a new, Hammer Horror-style franchise where it is Jason but he's also explicitly undead. I like this theory, but it seems to imply that there are quite a few homicidal mongoloids running around the woods of New Jersey with a hockey mask fetish
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Mar 8, 2018 22:25
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Franchescanado posted:I like this theory, but it seems to imply that there are quite a few homicidal mongoloids running around the woods of New Jersey with a hockey mask fetish This is the Jersey I know of.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:28
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MacheteZombie posted:This is the Jersey I know of. I've only been in Newark Airport, so I wasn't sure what I was seeing.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:30
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The original The Strangers has a 45% on RT on 152 reviews with a 4.9/10 average, the new one has a 32% on 28 reviews with a 5.2/10 average.. seems they are probably pretty similar but there are much less reviews to really gauge it.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:34
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Franchescanado posted:I've only been in Newark Airport, so I wasn't sure what I was seeing. No one knows what they're seeing when they enter New Jersey. It doesn't even exist.
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Mar 8, 2018 22:39
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:Doesn't quite line up to all of your particulars but pretty drat close: I have never, ever seen it referred to by that title. I thought the official English title was "Little Otek"
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Mar 9, 2018 02:30
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Spinster posted:Did this for the GBS Spinster posted:Oh did I trigger you? My apologies. Perhaps you should go back there.
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Mar 9, 2018 03:19
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Spinster posted:Did this for the GBS paranasal sinus cancer thread. I'm...not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking at. Is there a joke here?
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Mar 9, 2018 04:53
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Choco1980 posted:I'm...not even sure what I'm supposed to be looking at. Is there a joke here? An Exorcist joke. But obviously it was not well received. I'll live.
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Mar 9, 2018 05:02
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