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Darkrenown posted:I don't know how common it is, but the main reason I didn't kill myself in the year since my dream job hosed me over was because I couldn't bear what it would do to my family, gf, and dog since depression is a disease of connection, you're often looking for a reason to stay that isn't something that may feel hollow. you're looking for signs of real connection and so half-hearted connections (like well-meaning advice that doesn't hear your pain and just fobs your emotions off) can make you feel even lonelier and can push you further into the abyss when people told me to live for others and think what it would do to x, y, z, it just increased the suicidal ideation bc gently caress what other people need, I needed someone to give a poo poo what I needed. like really even my mental illness is about YOU? even when i'm doing my worst, i still gotta think about YOU?? that line of thinking is what finally drove me to the emergency room one day instead of going to work. it made me worse, not better, bc i was so convinced ultimately people just saw my illness in terms of how it made them feel, and i already felt like i lived my life accommodating others and no one gave a poo poo about me. i got dangerously close to killing myself instead of helping myself bc living for others gave me no joy and felt like i was expected to live in emotional pain and misery for the benefit of others. Basically, what i heard that i should not be hurting anyone's feefees with my being sad or my own choice of death. made me want to take control and say gently caress your little feefees, rear end in a top hat. i knew it would hurt folks, but lots of poo poo does - and if i mattered to you so much, you woulda done something when i was ALIVE. Most people take their loved ones for granted - of course they're sad when they're gone, but the important thing is to show people you love them when they're HERE so yeah i wouldn't recommend saying that to folks and a picture like this guy is proposing would not have helped me, i know because i had to block that poo poo out to survive loving BE there and LISTEN and don't give them lovely advice, that's how you help a depressed person. you don't have to try and fix them (please don't), you just have to try and be Present with them. That's all you have to do. it's amazing how few people get that. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Mar 28, 2018 |
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Mar 28, 2018 11:52
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I've heard it's not a good line to use, but sometimes when a person doesn't care about their own life they still worry about other people.
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Peaceful Anarchy posted:A new twist in childfree couplings Stab the parents to death, call your assclown husband up and tell him to come over to his parent's place to hang out, serve him divorce papers over his parent's bloody corpses, move to Hawaii or a European nation of your choice, give your baby up for adoption. 
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Mar 28, 2018 12:37
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Japan is a terrible place to leave a child up for adoption, just an fyi for posters saying that. Something like 1/10 ever get adopted iirc
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Mar 28, 2018 12:40
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Jeza posted:Japan is a terrible place to leave a child up for adoption, just an fyi for posters saying that. I'd adopt a Japanese child Then raise him as Chinese
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Mar 28, 2018 12:44
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So I'm assuming the guy had only a one day window when the spermicide had run out, shot through a hole in a condom and immediately hit the egg? Dude's an arsehole, but with tremendous aim.
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Mar 28, 2018 12:45
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Jeza posted:Japan is a terrible place to leave a child up for adoption, just an fyi for posters saying that. why is this? does it have to do with their weird ideas about legacies and bloodlines that also led to that poor OP having her organs hijacked by her relatives so she can become a living incubator for them? that's my nightmare and i'd honestly take myself and the baby out if i couldn't get an abortion. i don't wanna drat some kid to a mentally ill mom or inheriting mental illness themselves. if i had to guess, the guy's parents convinced him the wife would be happy when it happened (bc every woman is!) and then haha surprise! she wasn't and the guilt set in. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 12:53 on Mar 28, 2018 |
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Mar 28, 2018 12:50
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Jeza posted:Japan is a terrible place to leave a child up for adoption, just an fyi for posters saying that. I'm well aware of how dumb Japan is when it comes to social services. That's why I suggested she puts the kid up for adoption in Hawaii or Europe.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:35
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She should divorce the dad and move to the Kanto region. There she can at least let the boy go out on his own once he hits age 11 for his Pokémon journey.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:48
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StrangersInTheNight posted:why is this? does it have to do with their weird ideas about legacies and bloodlines that also led to that poor OP having her organs hijacked by her relatives so she can become a living incubator for them? Bloodlines is a big part of it. Children put up for adoption are tainted by whatever circumstances put them there in the first place. This is also true of it tarring unwed mothers because the state forces them to register births on their family registry. That "family registry" also records when people adopt children, and also children who are adopted so those circumstances follow them for life and are publicly accessible for companies to discriminate by, which they do. They also have an extremely stringent adoption system, in part related to that, which means that even people who want to adopt may be excluded or render certain children ineligible. Funnily enough, Japan has an extremely high rate of adoption - but that statistic is only because over 90% of their adoptions are of adults, basically always men in 20s-30s, who are adopted to take over family businesses without male heirs. Only a few hundred children are adopted every year in Japan, mostly by relatives - which comes with far less stigma. The vast majority spend from the age of 0+ to 18 in institutions that basically cripple their life prospects and put them at a high risk of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Only a small fraction even have foster parents at any point, because that system is also culturally shunned. e: Cough Drop The Beat posted:I'm well aware of how dumb Japan is when it comes to social services. That's why I suggested she puts the kid up for adoption in Hawaii or Europe. Yeah I wasn't referring to you specifically, there were some people on the other page. Jeza fucked around with this message at 13:56 on Mar 28, 2018 |
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Mar 28, 2018 13:53
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Between that and the economy leaving anyone under 50 reliant on part-time work (because the cultural and possibly legal obligations to full-time workers mean companies will never hire anyone new full-time if they can possibly help it), living requirements needing at least two full-time incomes to maintain a household but incredible sexism drastically limiting women's career options, and general complete disregard for the needs of the young, you'd think Japan's plummeting birthrate would lead to some desperate adaptation, but they're determined to kill themselves off.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:56
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On the bright side for an enterprising foreigner, a retirement home in an abandoned seaside Japanese town is going to be dirt cheap.
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Mar 28, 2018 13:59
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Palpek posted:[both 20] How to recover/heal/forget about a recent event which broke my heart quote:Note: Only constructive and helpful comments please drat, they're normally a lot more salacious and combative when paired with an opening statement like that, but this one is just sad. Stand up for yourself girl and dump his sorry rear end.
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Mar 28, 2018 14:03
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Barudak posted:On the bright side for an enterprising foreigner, a retirement home in an abandoned seaside Japanese town is going to be dirt cheap. "Yeah, she's a fixer-upper but ain't she a beaut? Look at that view! Three good size bedrooms, fully appointed kitchen. I know a local tatami guy who'll do the floors at friend's rates. Excellent storage space too-" *opens wardrobe and out topples a mummified hikikomori clutching an anime pillow* "Aw jeeze, sorry about that fella. I told 'em to check it real thorough, but you know how people are. They think they've checked a crawlspace or two and they've covered every place somebody might crawl into to die. I tell you, people these days - no work ethic."
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Mar 28, 2018 14:08
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Inescapable Duck posted:Between that and the economy leaving anyone under 50 reliant on part-time work (because the cultural and possibly legal obligations to full-time workers mean companies will never hire anyone new full-time if they can possibly help it), living requirements needing at least two full-time incomes to maintain a household but incredible sexism drastically limiting women's career options, and general complete disregard for the needs of the young, you'd think Japan's plummeting birthrate would lead to some desperate adaptation, but they're determined to kill themselves off. And provide inspiration to America—who is catching up! 
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Mar 28, 2018 14:28
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StrangersInTheNight posted:
And just to demonstrate more of the range of depression, when I was at my worst and contemplating offing myself I used anger to keep going. Anger at all the people who had been assholes to me. Not only did I not want to prove them right, I wanted the opportunity to piss on their graves. That was still super-unhealthy, because if I'd taken that too far, I'd have been putting them IN those graves, and wouldn't have really cared about the consequences. I'm better now. Not all the way, but never suicidal anymore. Pro click on Pick's av current as of 7:43am MDT. SFW.
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Mar 28, 2018 14:43
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Pick posted:And provide inspiration to America—who is catching up! Australia may be ahead if anything, we have the youth unemployment and unattainable property bubble the government is desperate to keep going.
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Mar 28, 2018 14:53
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My (25M) girlfriend (23F) of two years wants to tattoo stars on her face. Usually I have no problems with tasteful tattoos, but I'm definitely not a fan of heavily tattooed bodies and I'm absolutely not into face tattoos. I never thought this would be an issue I'd have to face, but here I am. My girlfriend is a really creative person. She's an artist and she's drawn both of the tattoos she has currently. One is a tribute to the cat she had growing up which I think is nice. The other one is just a cool little fairy, she's into mystical type stuff. Now she wants to get a tattoo on her cheekbone of a star symbol that her friend used to regularly draw, in the place a tear would usually fall. The reasoning behind it is that her friend died from an overdose about a year ago and she wants to have it as a tribute. I totally understand why she would want this, but I think it's a huge mistake. It's her FACE. It's the first thing everyone sees for the rest of her life and no one is going to understand the meaning behind this tattoo. It's just going to look like a childish star that she permanently put on her body in the most visible place possible. Honestly, I think it's going to look really trashy. I've let her know I think it's a bad idea and she's told me it's not my choice. I know it's not my choice, but I'm afraid I'm going to lose my attraction to her if she goes through with this. At the same time, I feel like a total rear end in a top hat telling her that because I know she feels strongly about her friend and wants to remember him. Should I give her an ultimatum? I don't want to but I feel like that's the only option I have left. tl;dr: my girlfriend wants to tattoo her face. I'm strongly against it but I feel like giving her an ultimatum is lovely. Don't know what else to do.
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Mar 28, 2018 14:56
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Pro click on Pick's av current as of 7:43am MDT. SFW. Well what's the bloody point then? Smirking_Serpent posted:My (25M) girlfriend (23F) of two years wants to tattoo stars on her face. Get her to go for hearts instead. 
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Mar 28, 2018 14:58
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Smirking_Serpent posted:My (25M) girlfriend (23F) of two years wants to tattoo stars on her face. Question time for the thread: Is it an ultimatum if you tell someone "If X happens, I will do Y?" Because dude's allowed to have his preferences just as much as she's allowed to make her choices. Hard mode: remember that "If you cheat on me, I will break up with you" follows the pattern.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:00
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quote:. I'm strongly against it but I feel like giving her an ultimatum is lovely. Ultimatums are, I'm informed, the tool of abusers
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Mar 28, 2018 15:02
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Am I (21F) wrong to be hurt by SO (29M) leaving cum rags around so often We have a dead bedroom and have sex once a week usually. He doesn’t want to have sex with me because we argue too much he says. It is very hurtful to me to find cum rags and makes me cry. I found one last night and cried and said why why do you do this to me? It’s like he wants me to know he doesn’t need me. His needs are met. It hurts that every-time I’m gone he is getting off in the bed we sleep to another woman and leaving me the reminder. It breaks my heart. He just told me to leave and that I’m immature. Says I’m just too young and immature to understand and he doesn’t do it to hurt me, he just forgets. But it does hurt me. He didn’t forget to play that video game last night either. But of course he forgot to get rid of that rag. Now I might not have a boyfriend. This has happened so many times but he still leaves this poo poo around and it feels like he’s rubbing it in my face. Even though he says he’s not, still doesn’t change the fact that is how I feel. Tl;dr: SO (29M) leaves cum rags around. He doesn’t want to have sex much anymore. It hurts my (21F) feelings. Am I just immature? I know it’s normal for him to do this. But is it really too much to ask to throw that away so I don’t get upset?
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Mar 28, 2018 15:11
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Question time for the thread: Is it an ultimatum if you tell someone "If X happens, I will do Y?" Because dude's allowed to have his preferences just as much as she's allowed to make her choices. Hard mode: remember that "If you cheat on me, I will break up with you" follows the pattern. as much as the Internet tries, I don't think there's any magical way to phrase this basic idea that "doesn't count" as an ultimatum irl. Almost like the flaw is actually in their "ultimatums are always bad" idea... 
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Mar 28, 2018 15:13
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Am I (21F) wrong to be hurt by SO (29M) leaving cum rags around so often WHAT IN TARNATION
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Mar 28, 2018 15:14
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Grosssssssssss
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Mar 28, 2018 15:15
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Not in all cases, but rather than let the fear that you'll be unattracted to her lead you to give her an ultimatum and break up with her, why not just wait till she gets the tattoo and see if it actually affects your attractiveness to her? He's given his opinion and counsel. If she doesn't take it and he really does no longer find her attractive, THEN break up.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:17
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Jesus, once a week is not a dead loving bedroom. Also throw your rags in the laundry basket for fucks sake.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:19
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Palpek posted:[both 20] How to recover/heal/forget about a recent event which broke my heart This person is all sorts of hosed up, but I wonder if her boyfriend would’ve gone to a prostitute if she didn’t declare wanking to be morally equivalent. Yes, he definitely would’ve but she’d at least be able to deal with it proportionally and dump his rear end if she weren’t carrying around all this dumb religious baggage.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:23
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Inescapable Duck posted:Australia may be ahead if anything, we have the youth unemployment and unattainable property bubble the government is desperate to keep going. Oh no!! Catch up, America!!!
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Mar 28, 2018 15:25
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Bonobos actually aren’t that sexual in the wild, they are perverse as hell in zoos because they’re intelligent but maddeningly bored and unchallenged. Of course this has no implications for any other closely related species
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Mar 28, 2018 15:26
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Face tattoo boyfriend is dating an artist so it is bad form to leave her now; she was upfront that she would have poor judgement and decision making and he said ok.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:29
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Anyway, my point is international tastes and the Chinese box office have made movies like Transformers so ubiquitous that we’ve begun to override inherent incest avoidance Truly the stupidest of all timelines 
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Mar 28, 2018 15:37
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Pick posted:Bonobos actually aren’t that sexual in the wild, they are perverse as hell in zoos because they’re intelligent but maddeningly bored and unchallenged. Of course this has no implications for any other closely related species so what you're saying is if the OP had provided a properly stimulating environment her boyfriend wouldn't have to go picking up hookers
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Mar 28, 2018 15:42
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Avenging_Mikon posted:Question time for the thread: Is it an ultimatum if you tell someone "If X happens, I will do Y?" Because dude's allowed to have his preferences just as much as she's allowed to make her choices. Hard mode: remember that "If you cheat on me, I will break up with you" follows the pattern. It's an ultimatum; ultimatums are not universally evil. Al Borland Corp. posted:Not in all cases, but rather than let the fear that you'll be unattracted to her lead you to give her an ultimatum and break up with her, why not just wait till she gets the tattoo and see if it actually affects your attractiveness to her? On one hand, yeah, sure, but on the other hand he's trying to prevent someone he cares about from getting a face tattoo, which is a goal in itself.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:42
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She's an artist she's not gonna go interview for an office job anytime soon or if she does it will be at some tech studio that thinks facial tattoos are rad
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Mar 28, 2018 15:44
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:so what you're saying is if the OP had provided a properly stimulating environment her boyfriend wouldn't have to go picking up hookers I mean properly stimulating means fighting other chimpanzees to the death and pulling off the arms of monkeys and squeezing pus out of countless infections but yeah if he has to do that stuff he’ll probably be really tired and also not really have a lot of spare cash
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Mar 28, 2018 15:48
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maybe he has some fantasy that she will clean herself up and get a real job when they're older and she settles down
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Mar 28, 2018 15:49
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Then why not marry someone already boring
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Mar 28, 2018 15:49
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Al Borland Corp. posted:Jesus, once a week is not a dead loving bedroom. I mean the guy is a piece of poo poo and she should leave for what's in the rest of that post but once week is not a dead bedroom. Edit: It's also fine if once a week isn't enough for her, but it's still not a dead bedroom.
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Mar 28, 2018 15:52
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Cat Army
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What stupid “identity” will barely literate pervs adhere to once their wangus takes a chill pill
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Mar 28, 2018 15:55
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| # ? May 25, 2024 10:38 |
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Business travel is probably the closest you can get to simulating the experience of being a well-fed, under-stimulated masturbating chimp in a zoo
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Mar 28, 2018 15:56
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