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Lol that drawing bit is loving fantastic
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Mar 30, 2018 23:41
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I wish I had the balls to call my 1SG by his first name.
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Mar 31, 2018 02:00
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I want to buy that dude a beer.
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Mar 31, 2018 02:26
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Now that is living the dream.
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Mar 31, 2018 02:49
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finally someone to thank for their service
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Mar 31, 2018 02:55
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Kawasaki Nun posted:Lol that drawing bit is loving fantastic I want to see it, but I'm sure the 1SG destroyed it as soon as he got the chance.
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Mar 31, 2018 03:01
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As it turns out idiots in the military continue to be idiots after they leave the military, so here's some stories from a civilian. Probably pretty generic, but one dude told me, probably ironically, to just post so here goes the culmination of me not doing anything productive at work for the first time in the last three weeks First off we'll go with Nick. I'm in a technical school, and there have been three Nicks in my program in the last three years, all but one of them have been idiots and the one that wasn't went by a different name. I still cringe whenever I hear the name because even outside the program I only know one Nick who isn't a combination jackass-moron. The other idiot Nick is pretty irrelevant to this topic except that he is a constant fuckup and 'almost joined the Navy as a fighter pilot' lol. Both of the fuckup Nicks were full of poo poo and idiots enough that I won't give one of them the compliment of being less of an idiot. Anyways, chair force Nick was a maintainer in the Air Force, he was uniquely recognized by his base's commander during basic training for being the best runner and doing the most pushups ever (he still holds the record, memorialized in a plaque at the entrance to the base). If he wasn't wearing a camo air force hat he was wearing a camo camo hat, he wore a hunting vest a lot, carried a root beer bottle with him everywhere for a spitter, and would talk about how 'redneck' he was and how he could fix 'anything' with minimal tools because that's what being a redneck is about. Someone mentioned a guy who plugged a hydraulic fluid leak with a dip a few hundred pages back, and my first thought was that it was probably Nick. But I've kind of gotten distracted with general descriptions of Nick. Pretty much immediately from meeting Nick you could tell he was full of poo poo, but I don't mind listening to people bullshitting themselves deeper and deeper. He says he was a crew chief for a C-130 but also that he's worked on about everything the air force had. So naturally he was one of the dudes who shared this on facebook. I commented with a link to the IL-76 wikipedia page and the post mysteriously disappeared like an hour later. lol He would talk about how military humor was really dark and civilians couldn't deal with it. At some point he was talking with another AF guy in our program, they were talking about having to shower with wet wipes and shave while dry. Nick jokes that once you cut yourself you were fine because you could use the blood as lube. I responded "That's not the first time I've heard those words" and he flipped out and left. The other AF guy chuckled One of our instructors held a yearly bonfire for everyone in the program. On the instructor's land there's a creek that forms a nice bullet trap and we're allowed to shoot as long as we police our brass. There are a bunch of military dudes in my program, loving lol when I'm a better shot than the ones who brag about being crack shots when we're shooting static targets (although I was absolutely the worst out of everyone at trap shooting). We hung up some plastic baggies with tannerite from some trees for targets at pretty short range, and one of the NG dudes was complaining that he kept hitting one and it wouldn't blow up. If you hit it why isn't the powder spilling out? I volunteered to try and sure enough it pops on the first shot. lol. Nick flags the poo poo out of everyone while complaining about how the year before someone nearly shot him and talking about how he was the best shot at AF basic. lol AF Nick was two years ahead of me in the two year program, taking a shorter additional course for some additional certifications. The degree from the college is pretty much useless because you can't do work in the field without the federal certification that the course leads to. The certification is acquired through a separate set of tests and practicals, and there is a publicly available registry of certificated people. So lol when he says "Oh they must not have updated it yet" two months after he first said he passed half of his certification. I really didn't hate AF Nick, he was just kind of a sad idiot and I didn't like being around him because he would try to turn every conversation to how good at everything he was (a quality shared with the other Nick). I hope he is doing ok for himself and his family and working at a job that doesn't put anyone's life on the line. When I initially tried to write this I had racked my brain for some stories about former specialist Schneider who has left the NG with no regrets, but my computron crashed and I didn't save because I'm the idiot. I think I had more on this dude but I can't remember Former specialist Schneider is also in my program. He's a pretty decent dude, but gently caress if he can't be an idiot sometimes. We both ended up being in the dorms for our college, and a bunch of the dorm ended up hanging out in the lobby one of the first few days. Conversation drifted to guns as it often does here, and Schneider started talking about how he got to fire a .50 cal. "You can miss someone by 2 inches and still take off their arm from the concussion" Oh boy. So I spent the next ten minutes telling him how stupid that was. I tried telling him how aerodynamically that didn't make sense. You want a bullet to disturb the air around it as little as possible. More airflow disruption means more drag means less range. If it was pushing a knife of air around it the entire time it would stop flying a couple feet out of the barrel. "Dude you don't know you've never fired one" It doesn't matter how it feels to fire one it still can't do that. How many bodies could a .50 cal round go through? "I dunno probably about 7" Then why don't you just line up 50 bad dudes in a row and fire an inch to one side of them instead of aiming center mass? "I dunno man I'm telling you it's a strong gun" He finally drops it after I show him a video of a .50 being fired an inch over still water and doing absolutely nothing to the water Then like ten minutes later "A-10s are velocity weapons, they actually destroy things by heating up the air around their targets with friction from the 35mm armor piercing rounds passing by them" God drat The state I'm in is full of 'Germans'. As you continue to have conversations with people, the probability of ancestry being brought up approaches 1, and inevitably everyone is 'German' unless they're from the Dutch hellscape about an hour away from the town I'm in. Imagine the kinds of weebs who wear kimonos and poo poo and think Japanese culture is all about honorabu sacrifice and poo poo but replace Japan with Germany and kimonos with Lederhosen and honorabu sacrifice with bud light. Anyways, before AF Nick was forced to gently caress off because he ran out of excuses to stay at the college forever and before 'almost navy' Nick got the hint no one wanted him around a whole bunch of us had the inevitable lunch conversation about where we're all from. "Opinions where are you from?" Colorado "No I mean like race" Dude I'm pasty white you can see me right now "No like where did your parents come from" One from Colorado one from Iowa "What nationality though" American It gets out that I speak German and have even been to Germany and spoke German with actual Germans in Germany. Wow. Well, AF Nick is Italian, lol when I point out his surname is German. 'Almost navy' Nick is German, and lol at how defensive he got when his surname was Yiddish "I'm not a loving Jew I'm German as gently caress". Lol when Schneider believes me when I tell him his last name translates literally to 'cutter' and his ancesters were probably executioners. Then he asks me if I can teach him German. I think I figured I'd spent some 2000 hours of study learning German by that point, I told him so and he was totally unfazed. "You can just teach me over lunch" lol A week later he tells me he's been using duolingo and is picking up German pretty fast. "Itch can spretchen Dootsch" lol He would complain about POGs. He was a maintainer. lol I think I had more Schneider stories but blue screen wiped them out And some stories about my uncle. It's not really funny, it's the stuff you expect out of Catch-22. Details are subject to uncle's dumbed down version for kids (which I was when he told me these stories) and my own memory of them. Uncle started off army infantry. He joined because he was a pissed off kid and he wanted to shoot bad guys and make them die. Somewhere between his first contract beginning and his second contract ending he realized he was an idiot and switched to drill sergeant had fun scaring little children who were making the same dumbshit choices he made. He's a tall dude and pretty built, he probably did well as a drill sergeant. Somewhere between his second contract ending and getting stoplossed the first time he switched to tanker, and had fun in the sun rolling through Iraq during the war. Apparently getting hit by RPG-7s sounds like someone whacking the tank with a big mallet. His crew claimed some kills, and since the invasion ended he never really saw any real combat, just continually rolling through cities and getting detracked by IEDs and not being able to step outside until they were sure there weren't any secondaries. One time they got hit, dismounted, and on foot caught a kid with a detonator and asked quote 'why did you do that?' but otherwise it sounded pretty frustrating, like their only point was to drive around, eat IEDs, and wait in a buttoned up sun-oven. Somewhere along the line uncle gets the idea to get one of the discharged caps from the main gun to use as an ash tray. Pretty badass. He goes through months of filing and sending and receiving paperwork. Finally he gets the ok to take a discharged cap after a visit to the gun range. The idiot shows it off to people, universal opinion is that it's pretty badass. CO is a vindictive weasel weener known for loving over anyone who doesn't suck up to him, gets word that uncle got a shell cap, "hey there, any chance I could borrow that?" I think that's when my uncle started to hate the army. At some point bad dudes wise up and start making IEDs with explosively formed penetrators, and the underarmor of an Abrams isn't super thick. Uncle got blown up twice, by then he was a TC so he was pretty much the least vulnerable AFAIK, but his other crew, especially the drivers, got hosed up bad. AFAIK there still wasn't really a point to rolling tanks around urban areas other than accidentally running over people or crunching cars. I think that's when he really started to hate the army. Somewhere between getting stoplossed for the first time and then for the second time he finally got medically discharged, a full year after he was evaluated to have some pretty significant permanent brain damage from having been inside of a pressure cooker while it was being pressure cooked by a bomb, twice. I think that's where he started to hate the entire structure of the army with every fiber of his being. He had a rough time for a while after he got out, he has to work or he gets stir crazy but he can't keep the same job too long or he gets stir crazy , his body is hosed in a way I'm sure you're all familiar with and he can't deal with fireworks anymore, but he's doing the weed now  and doing much better in general. gently caress him for ever having been in I guess, and that's why I want to do helicopters and stay the gently caress away from the ground.
EvenWorseOpinions fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Apr 1, 2018 |
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Apr 1, 2018 18:34
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:that's why I want to do helicopters and stay the gently caress away from the ground.
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Apr 1, 2018 18:52
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:that's why I want to do helicopters and stay the gently caress away from the ground. Username/post combo of the year
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Apr 1, 2018 18:57
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I'm posting in the correct thread of course Is there any reason I'm not seeing that I shouldn't go for helicopter piloting though? EvenWorseOpinions fucked around with this message at 19:00 on Apr 1, 2018 |
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Apr 1, 2018 18:57
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Staying away from the ground is the goal of helicopters, but they're pretty bad at it
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Apr 1, 2018 19:02
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canyoneer posted:Staying away from the ground is the goal of helicopters, but they're pretty bad at it Helicopters natural state is at rest in a crater. It constantly works to achieve this goal.
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Apr 1, 2018 19:10
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That's the opinion I've generally heard from people who work indirectly with helicopters or not at all with them; not saying I've got any more practical experience, but helicopter maintenance is my study. I think it's reasonable to say that a properly maintained helicopter is as safe as a fixed wing. Dunno how well army helicopters stay maintained Helicopter pilots seem more optimistic but maybe that's why they fly helicopters
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Apr 1, 2018 19:14
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Let's put it this way: the thing that makes rotaries attractive to a military will have them often operating in the dead zone, in the hot zone. gently caress that noise. Also they really don't like battle damage. Also maintained by grunts.
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Apr 1, 2018 19:22
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As one dude put it to me in the Army thread: Helicopters will turbofuck your back, give you permanent migraines (Apaches), and eventually kill you or someone you know.
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Apr 1, 2018 19:39
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Viva Miriya posted:As one dude put it to me in the Army thread: Helicopters will turbofuck your back, give you permanent migraines (Apaches), and eventually kill you or someone you know.
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Apr 1, 2018 20:06
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Casimir Radon posted:Oh ye of little faith. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3803603&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=155#post478421925
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Apr 1, 2018 21:01
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:I think it's reasonable to say that a properly maintained helicopter is as safe as a fixed wing. And your username rings true again
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Apr 1, 2018 21:26
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Viva Miriya posted:https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3803603&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=155#post478421925 That was a joke.
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Apr 1, 2018 21:30
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:I think it's reasonable to say that a properly maintained helicopter is as safe as a fixed wing. No matter how well-maintained a helicopter is, it is never going to be as safe as an equally-maintained (or even worse-maintained, within reason) fixed wing. Viva Miriya posted:As one dude put it to me in the Army thread: Helicopters will turbofuck your back, give you permanent migraines (Apaches), and eventually kill you or someone you know. I understand the latter stuff but why will they turbofuck your back/knees? Are they referring to a crash? Obviously crashing can gently caress up pretty much anything/everything.
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Apr 1, 2018 21:44
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Heh. Dick Burglar posted:I understand the latter stuff but why will they turbofuck your back/knees? Are they referring to a crash? Obviously crashing can gently caress up pretty much anything/everything. I have no clue. I'm sure there's a helicopter goon vet somewhere that can explain it though. E: the GiP discord 420highcommand explained to me its because helicopters have a hatred of all living things, vibrating immensely during normal operation to gently caress your body thoroughly. Then there's surviving crashes/autorotating that bitch down for a "safe landing." Tl;dr gently caress you, shoulda joined the Air Force. Viva Miriya fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Apr 1, 2018 |
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Apr 1, 2018 21:55
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Dick Burglar posted:I understand the latter stuff but why will they turbofuck your back/knees? Are they referring to a crash? Obviously crashing can gently caress up pretty much anything/everything. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3825948/ tl;dr Whole body vibration for extended periods is very, very bad for your body. Add in the 60 lbs of gear and less-then-ergonomic cockpits and life gets really bad
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Apr 1, 2018 22:13
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Dick Burglar posted:No matter how well-maintained a helicopter is, it is never going to be as safe as an equally-maintained (or even worse-maintained, within reason) fixed wing. canyoneer posted:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3825948/
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Apr 1, 2018 22:27
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:If there's anything that scares me it's a risk of permanent damage inherently associated with a line of work I legitimately don't know anyone who got out of the army who wasn't disabled in some way, and I was in one of the most POG MOS you could imagine.
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Apr 1, 2018 22:39
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:If there's anything that scares me it's a risk of permanent damage inherently associated with a line of work, especially spinal. I actually had no idea about that and I'm seriously reconsidering things. Have you considered the wonderful world of academia?
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Apr 1, 2018 22:49
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So is it reasonable to try to fly transport planes for the air force and not get poo poo on by hidden and potentially chronic ailments? I guess what I'm asking, is there any way I can get paid to learn to fly any type of aircraft and not hate my life for it?McNally posted:Have you considered the wonderful world of academia? Yes, about a year into a TEFL program I decided I hate writing papers forever, even if I was evidently pretty decent at it, which is why I am in a vocational school now. Didn't help that TEFL pays terrible and they'll hire non-native speakers over you where I was hoping to go.
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Apr 1, 2018 22:57
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EvenWorseOpinions posted:So is it reasonable to try to fly transport planes for the air force and not get poo poo on by hidden and potentially chronic ailments? I guess what I'm asking, is there any way I can get paid to learn to fly any type of aircraft and not hate my life for it? How do you feel about tinnitus and high-frequency hearing loss?
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Apr 1, 2018 23:02
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McNally posted:How do you feel about tinnitus and high-frequency hearing loss? Already have both sign me up Is it too late to pretend I'm April Fool's joking?
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Apr 1, 2018 23:04
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Enlist airborne infantry option 40, go rangers asap.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:10
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Viva Miriya posted:Enlist airborne infantry option 40, go rangers asap. 18X or nothing
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Apr 1, 2018 23:14
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UP THE BUM NO BABY posted:18X or nothing *ballad of the green berets plays in the distance*
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Apr 1, 2018 23:15
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You don't come to gip for life advice beyond don't enlist. We reprobates don't have any other unqualified pearls of wisdom
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Apr 1, 2018 23:29
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Viva Miriya posted:Heh. Oh poo poo so there is something to the old story of the vibrations from tanks loving your joints.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:29
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There is nothing about a plane which won't potentially be harmful to you, no matter your job. I guess you're probably less likely to get covered in hydraulic fluid or fuel or inhale beryllium dust or carbon fibre as a pilot, but I'm willing to bet there's a non-zero chance it could happen. Planes are malevolent things.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:31
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Literally the only KIA I've ever known was a high school buddy in a Blackhawk that thought of ants and crashed.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:38
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Kawasaki Nun posted:You don't come to gip for life advice beyond don't enlist. We reprobates don't have any other unqualified pearls of wisdom Bro i could totally make it through BUD/S.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:41
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Godholio posted:Literally the only KIA I've ever known was a high school buddy in a Blackhawk that thought of ants and crashed. Can anyone link me to the thought of ants, drowned horse post plz
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Apr 1, 2018 23:42
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Ruddha posted:I don't know about anyone else, but I know for a fact that horses are stupider than poo poo and WILL kill themselves if you don't take an absurd amount of precautions and adorn them in the right silly accessories so that they don't scare themselves and fall over dead, and even then at best you can reduce the chances that they will do that, but they're still absolutely going to. Women who are obsessed with horses are just as bad as ones who are obsessed with anything else, but it may be dumber because it's a placeholder for animalistic male sexuality; however, in reality, it doesn't hold up because dominant male sexual energy is incompatible with horse personality and tendencies because, again, they're absolutely going to kill themselves by accident, whereas studs and straight power tops are highly unlikely to catch their reflection in a mirror then break their leg and get eaten by a mountain lioness quote:Of course, if you don't nail little metal rings onto them, they'll split open, and then they'll die. quote:I personally guarantee you a dog will never in this life hear a bee then have a heart attack out of fear, dying. quote:Babies grow up and that's okay, it's like, sometimes a great meal is worth a lot of prep, for example. Horses only get more likely to die from a stupid reason as they get older. Oh poor ol' Freckles, thought of ants and died. quote:That's understandable, but in the scheme of things it's a fairly low chance. With horses, there is no such thing as a natural death at any point in existence: they've strictly only died from stupid poo poo. Saw water and passed away. The original is buried deep in a feminism thread or something but theres a quote thread in PYF and that's the second post.
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Apr 1, 2018 23:48
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efb
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Apr 1, 2018 23:52
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Slavic Crime Yacht posted:Can anyone link me to the thought of ants, drowned horse post plz https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3599972&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=10#post426646421
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Apr 1, 2018 23:53
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