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flick my Mr. Bean posted:I read a tweet that said something to the effect of "Pranks are just a socially acceptable outlet for psychopathy" and it is absolutely true. That's dumb. Good pranks are fun and create treasured memories 
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Apr 3, 2018 19:10
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Rubellavator posted:One of the comments: How did he jump straight to sex toy, though? I wouldn't look at one and think, "Why, that goes in the vagina" if I had never seen one. Does his wife have a tiny personal massager that looks like that? Wait. I bet she had a bullet before they got married 7 years ago and he made her get rid of it, so the used tampon applicator sorta resembles that, as far as he remembers it, when though the tampon applicator is hollow and probably plastic.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:11
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 says that tampon dad is Indian/Pakistani or similar.
monkeytennis fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Apr 3, 2018 |
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Apr 3, 2018 19:16
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Bored posted:How did he jump straight to sex toy, though? I wouldn't look at one and think, "Why, that goes in the vagina" if I had never seen one. Does his wife have a tiny personal massager that looks like that? Honestly the whole thing only makes sense if he put himself into this situation already looking for a sex toy. That's why he was snooping around her room to begin with, and that's why he saw something he didn't recognize and immediately decided it was a weird dildo thing. He was like "I'm afraid that my deviant teenaged child is into some weird sex poo poo and will look through her trash just to make sure she isn't". If you're all hyped up to find a dildo, everything is gonna look like a dildo. It's also why, for example, when I was giving my parents a tour of my first off-campus apartment at college, my dad saw my roommate's homegrown basil and immediately assumed it was weed even though these two plants look absolutely nothing alike.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:17
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Just be like 'sure i won't use those dad' and then freebleed all over his nicest furniture. be sure to wear a skirt you can flip up so it's straight crotch-to-furniture action (assuming undies, of course). he will learn his lesson quick protip dad: hydrogen peroxide helps if i'm willing to bet he's a dude who gets grossed out by stuff like this, which means he is a prime target for harassing about it
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Apr 3, 2018 19:17
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loquacius posted:If you're all hyped up to find a dildo, everything is gonna look like a dildo. this is the kind of old timey wisdom I look forward to handing down to kids when I'm like 70
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Apr 3, 2018 19:19
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loquacius posted:If you're all hyped up to find a dildo, everything is gonna look like a dildo *starts salivating while looking at shampoo bottle* Jeza posted:That's dumb. Good pranks are fun and create treasured memories Will you marry me?
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Apr 3, 2018 19:21
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:Will you marry me? Yes! A thousand times yes!
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Apr 3, 2018 19:23
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Jeza posted:Yes! A thousand times yes! gotcha  My [24F] sister [25F] and her bf [25M] are upset because my fiance [27M] proposed to me and have started shaming us on social media quote:Hi, r/relationships! This is a repost because I messed up a few of the details + I posted this in the middle of the night and didn't get much of a response.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:28
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I have every bit of this fraudulent story written in text logs complete with utterly damning information but I refuse to release it to the wider public because [error: file not found]
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Apr 3, 2018 19:31
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Burn social media to the ground. It must die.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:35
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Pick posted:I'm not saying she wasn't also wrong, but again, he was a super dick about this guy dying, who sounds like he was a better dude than he is, and then got all "well I have the RIGHT to be an rear end in a top hat because she liked this guy more than me". And it's like, yeah, no wonder! Controversial opinion - he doesn’t owe sympathy to her or the guy she cheated with. I don’t think it would’ve mattered how he reacted, she’d likely still get mad because he didn’t react “appropriately” in her opinion. Honestly they should’ve broken up after the emotional affair and saved each other the headache. A Wizard of Goatse posted:I don't climb buildings or do any parkoury poo poo but creepos who start publicly masturbating online when someone dies make my skin crawl Hey now it was emotional masturbation, totally different from real jerkin’, so like, it doesn’t count BOOTY-ADE fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Apr 3, 2018 |
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Apr 3, 2018 19:36
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flick my Mr. Bean posted:gotcha i know what will fix my floundering relationship: a common enemy!
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Apr 3, 2018 19:40
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Maybe I'm a horrible person but I honestly wouldn't blame the bf for being kinda darkly pleased that emotional affair guy died Or at least taking a moment of sick satisfaction from it I'd definitely hate that guy
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Apr 3, 2018 19:40
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Why are you all literally so socially regarded, like the real definition of retard You can feel happy when anyone dies, it’s fine! But you don’t drop a fast dump on them in the presence of someone else who does mourn them, if the living person is someone you care about
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Apr 3, 2018 19:43
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StrangersInTheNight posted:Maybe I'm a horrible person but I honestly wouldn't blame the bf for being kinda darkly pleased that emotional affair guy died heh, you fell for him and he fell for thirty secon-oh poo poo sorry about your other bf, babe. 
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Apr 3, 2018 19:44
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My friend [27F] believes her father died in an accident. I [30M] recently found out he committed suicide. She's grieving the loss of her mother right now. When is the right time to tell her?quote:The title pretty much says it all. My friend's dad died about five years ago. Her mother passed away at the end of last year and I've been helping her sort through a lot of documents. As part of that process I stumbled across her father's death certificate which lists the manner of death as suicide instead of accidental. I only met her after her shortly after her father's death but she always referred to it as an accident. quote:I can try my best to pretend like I never saw it but I know what her values are and I know that she would be really disappointed if I did that and she found out.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:46
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I hated my dad’s mom but the first response to hearing she died wasn’t to go up to my dad and say “good riddance to the unfunny Lucille bluth *hellfire sounds*”
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Apr 3, 2018 19:46
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I didn't say anything about that, calm down Pick drat. I think he acted like an rear end in a top hat, too. I'm just saying, I'd def go out for a celebratory drink that night. gently caress that guy. When my rear end in a top hat grandpa died I still helped my dad through the funeral. I even read a passage, the whole while thinking 'dude knows so few people who give a poo poo, at his funeral his granddaughter who hates him is insincerely reading Bible poo poo he hated.' it was Perfect. One day I'll return to pee on his grave, when Dad's not around. RIP covered in pee, you old sunnuva bitch. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 19:50 on Apr 3, 2018 |
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Apr 3, 2018 19:47
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Doggles posted:My friend [27F] believes her father died in an accident. I [30M] recently found out he committed suicide. She's grieving the loss of her mother right now. When is the right time to tell her? Critical autism detected, warning warning
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Apr 3, 2018 19:48
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quote:. Our parents, Charlie's siblings, and the few close friends that were actually at the dinner do not believe the bullshit story. That seems like a problem that will naturally peter out then, unless you do something silly like have a public feud. BOOTY-ADE posted:Controversial opinion - he doesn’t owe sympathy to her or the guy she cheated with. I don’t think it would’ve mattered how he reacted, she’d likely still get mad because he didn’t react “appropriately” in her opinion. Honestly they should’ve broken up after the emotional affair and saved each other the headache. That's only controversial to the resident crazy-persons.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:49
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His response probably wasn't the greatest socially speaking, but, neither was hers It's been said already: if you are sad that the guy you're in love with who isn't your boyfriend fell off a building, maybe the one to go to for comfort isn't your actual boyfriend
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Apr 3, 2018 19:49
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quote:She is VERY much the kind of person who values honesty and knowing the truth, so there is no doubt in my mind I should tell her. But there is almost no way that right now is the right time to handle this information. She is really struggling with her mental health and her therapy and that's a large part of why I've been recruited to help sort through things. Everyone says they value honesty and knowing the truth until they find out poo poo they don't want to know but yes, you should tell a mentally unstable person their father killed himself. I actually found out years after my dad's "heart attack in his sleep" that it was actually due to thirty years of being on certain medications. My mom lied because guess who also takes similar medications: me. I only found out because I straight up called my mom out on her inconsistent story and asked if it was a suicide or not and she cracked and told the truth for the first time in my life.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:51
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Doggles posted:My friend [27F] believes her father died in an accident. I [30M] recently found out he committed suicide. She's grieving the loss of her mother right now. When is the right time to tell her? flick my Mr. Bean posted:heh, you fell for him and he fell for thirty secon-oh poo poo sorry about your other bf, babe. Khorne fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Apr 3, 2018 |
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Apr 3, 2018 19:53
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loquacius posted:His response probably wasn't the greatest socially speaking, but, neither was hers Yeah she's an rear end in a top hat too, they're both assholes for different reasons. Honestly I do think some of our beliefs about how to treat people who mourn are heavily coached in culture and religion and we might expect too much from everyone involved (those mourning and those comforting) But I still live into it bc death is tough and rarely do we function correctly when it happens, so ritual can bring comfort to those feeling unstable
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Apr 3, 2018 19:54
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Pick posted:Why are you all literally so socially regarded, like the real definition of retard You're really over-stating how insulting he was. People being sympathetic is not context-agnostic. If your SO runs up to you in tears and when asked why they say they're sad about [somebody you hate dying], normal people are not going to be able to fake on the spot about how terrible that is and how sorry they are that that happened.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:55
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quote:I suck at withholding information anyway and I'm terrible at lying Look who's trying to preemptively deny all responsibilty for doing what she wants to do anyway.
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Apr 3, 2018 19:56
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tactlessbastard posted:Look who's trying to preemptively deny all responsibilty for doing what she wants to do anyway. Her update will be along the lines of “Do you really think id post this to reddit if you had any chance of convincing me? No, I told them 35 minutes ago”
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Apr 3, 2018 19:59
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I’m kind of in awe that Jack’s “yeah babe I was totally gonna propose tonight but they beat me to it!” bullshit worked. How goddamn dumb is the sister?
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Apr 3, 2018 20:00
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Clark Nova posted:I’m kind of in awe that Jack’s “yeah babe I was totally gonna propose tonight but they beat me to it!” bullshit worked. How goddamn dumb is the sister? Dumb enough to think getting married will fix her relationship problems
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Apr 3, 2018 20:02
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Jeza posted:You're really over-stating how insulting he was. People being sympathetic is not context-agnostic. If your SO runs up to you in tears and when asked why they say they're sad about [somebody you hate dying], normal people are not going to be able to fake on the spot about how terrible that is and how sorry they are that that happened. Somebody he hates, specifically because his girlfriend very obviously was still in love with the guy and deeply emotionally invested in his life. LOVE LOVE SKELETON posted:i know what will fix my floundering relationship: a common enemy! I can see it working a lot better than a proposal, or a baby
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Apr 3, 2018 20:02
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Clark Nova posted:I’m kind of in awe that Jack’s “yeah babe I was totally gonna propose tonight but they beat me to it!” bullshit worked. How goddamn dumb is the sister? She already tried to steal her own sister's boyfriend, so either pretty dim or complete white trash
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Apr 3, 2018 20:02
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Dude BF’s response was hardcore bad, what loving planet 
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Apr 3, 2018 20:06
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Being a disaffected edgelord is appropriate on the Internet ONLY
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Apr 3, 2018 20:07
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I can't believe your lack of emotional support at this time, when the man I really loved fell off Hell In A Cell and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer’s table For real they should've just broken up after the initial transgression but it's pretty fuckin' hilarious to expect some grand outpouring of sympathy over the entirely avoidable death of a guy you two-timed with and continued to hold a torch for. Dump her rear end, for crying out loud
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Apr 3, 2018 20:08
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like making it family and for a reason half the rest of your family is excruciatingly aware is dumb as hell seems like a chump move but I can't think of much more romantic than getting down on one knee and going "Baby, let's destroy Aquaman... together"
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Apr 3, 2018 20:08
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Pick posted:Dude BF’s response was hardcore bad, what loving planet You're going to have an aneurysm when you find out we think he doesn't have to go to his funeral, either
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Apr 3, 2018 20:12
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Yeah he can’t take it and they should already have been broken up But man if anyone ever expects me to not be sad when Hugh dies choking on a bottle cap or 6-pack ring you are in for a weepy surprise!! 
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Apr 3, 2018 20:12
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I sent the navy seal copypasta to a customer service rep while I was at school, and they sent my IP to my school. Am I hosed?(self.legaladvice)quote:So yeah I was bored during study hall so I started a chat with some Strayer University rep. I sent them the navy seal copypasta, and they said "I can see that you are chatting with us from [school district] and will be sending the IP address to the district to investigate.  Pick posted:Being a disaffected edgelord is appropriate on the Internet ONLY then stop probating me for it 
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Apr 3, 2018 20:12
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Pick posted:Why are you all literally so socially regarded, like the real definition of retard She's morning him because he was the relationship she was too scared to drop her boyfriend for. That feels like relevant context for me. Not saying his comment wasn't out line but in the grand scheme of what happened it was the least bad thing in that story. Dude should dump her, particularly after the grand reveal that their affair was even deeper than originally thought and that she had been lying about still being in contact with him.
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Apr 3, 2018 20:13
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