- But Rocks Hurt Head
- Jun 30, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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Pillbug
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Maskenfruit Roll Up
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Apr 4, 2018 15:38
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:57
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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quote:
Don’t worry, friends. I will be okay. Just wish I broke up with her as soon as I found out about the affair so I wouldn’t have to go through this all over again. It all feels like a dream to me.
Well, duhhhhhhhhh
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Apr 4, 2018 15:39
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- Buzkashi
- Feb 4, 2003
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College Slice
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Ghosts do this
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Apr 4, 2018 16:19
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- Clark Nova
- Jul 18, 2004
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Imagine tanking your five year relationship because you were secretly in love with an eighth-tier YouTube personality who died falling off the top of a McDonald’s PlayPlace
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Apr 4, 2018 16:30
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- LadyPictureShow
- Nov 18, 2005
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Success!
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[b]My BF [25M] has an ambiguous friendship with his ex and another friend, I [29F] asked to see his messages and found that he calls them nicknames.
quote:
Hello,
Just to preface, I am looking for advice, analysis, etc. I'm going to be fully transparent about a lot of things so I would appreciate comments that don't have too much substance like "just leave him, he sucks!"
Background
So I met James through a side project about a year ago now. From the beginning, we really clicked as friends, we have the same humor, have great intellectual conversations about any subject matter, etc. At the time, I was still with my then boyfriend of 9 years, and I was extremely unhappy in the relationship. Long story short, James and I ended up making out one night, and I broke up with my boyfriend. This is a regret and guilt that I still feel on the regular.
James was extremely supportive during this time and gave me the space I needed. In the end, we decided to take our relationship forward and test how dating was like. Everything felt right with James, he made me feel so amazing in ways I didn't think were even possible in a relationship. We had communication problems initially, mostly due to how I communicated for 9 years - and he taught me healthy communication, how to express my feelings, how to not place blame, and how to focus on building empathy with each other.
We had one big fight in July where he was a little jealous of a co-worker (Kyle) and my closeness with him. One night we were cuddling in bed and a text message pops up from Kyle that said "You know I'm only coming to the work event for youuu." And James flipped out! I offered to show him my messages and he was extremely upset to find that Kyle ) who is in a long distance relationship had also invited me to stay at his hotel room. I declined obviously, but I told James that that's just who Kyle is, and that for us consultants, hotels rooms are nothing. He didn't buy it and he was even more upset that I was defending Kyle. The next day, Kyle and I already had plans for him to eat with my family at my mother's house - again James was extremely upset because he hadn't met my family yet, he said I was disrespecting him by doing this. We almost broke up, but eventually came to terms through many many long talks about boundaries.
James is very close to his ex girlfriend, Maria, and another girl that he dated, Dory. I usually let James do whatever he wants, because I don't want to implicate anything on his existing relationships. One night, back in September, he went out with Maria and a few other friends while I was traveling for work. He called me during the night to tell me that Maria and him were goofing off and they ended up grinding. He said that he immediately understood how bad his actions were, and left the event to call me. I told him that I don't know how I feel, that I felt betrayed, but ultimately I appreciated his honesty. James is also a pretty flirty guy in general, he calls all his girlfriends some mix of babe, b, hon, honey, etc.
I think nicknames should ONLY be reserved for your partner. I let him know that I can't control him but it makes me feel uncomfortable. Ever since this event I've felt recurring insecurities about him and his friends, or whenever I see a text message, etc. I've never been the insecure girl before, but James turned me into this. It's been harder some days. James tells me that I'm his only girl, he's not flirty anymore, he doesn't have that kind of behavior, that he always daydreams about our future. I know that's true, James is the kind of guy that sends me flowers just because he misses me during the day. He leaves me morning messages on my way to work, check ins with how much he misses me when I am at work. He's very loving and supportive.
Current Situation
Now that all the background info is laid out...
Just a few days ago, when James and I were laying in bed and this time I see a message from Maria. Just a "hi." This triggers all my insecurities and I ask James if I can read his messages.
He says of course, and hands me his phone. I dig through his Instagram and Facebook messages and found one where Maria DMed him a picture of herself with a moustache and James said "haha looking good b!" This was in November, so after our fight.
I was infuriated. What the gently caress was that? So I checked his other messages on Facebook with Dory and found something in January of him saying, "hey! Happy new year babe." And that was it. I stormed out of his house.
He tried to stop me, we chatted in my car for hours. I explained that I can't trust him anymore, that he broke my heart, that there's no more foundation for our relationship. Why couldn't he do this one simple thing for me? Why did he gently caress up so badly? He said it was an honest mistake months ago and that he hasn't made it since.
I think it's bullshit! He's nurturing his ambiguous relationships still! I can't believe him. James keeps saying that he'll do whatever it takes to make it work, because I'm "so special" - well I guess not special enough! I DON'T want to be the crazy girlfriend that has to read through his phone, I don't want to be that girl who is so insecure with her feelings - it's easy for him to make it work, but I'm the one who has to go through this.
I'm flying for a trip tonight and he told me he'd look into relationship counseling and try to figure it out while I'm away, and for me to just enjoy my trip. I want it to work too, but I'd be lying to myself I think if I said I can give him and us an honest, 100% try again, and that it's unfair to both of us. I don't know how we can rebuild this trust. What he did was unacceptable to me.
I don't know what to do.
TL;DR Boyfriend has ambiguous friendships with a few girlfriends, I found that he calls them endearing nicknames still even though I asked him to stop.
How are you nearly 30 years old and acting like this?! Goddamn!
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Apr 4, 2018 17:01
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- But Rocks Hurt Head
- Jun 30, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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Pillbug
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Lmao started reading and like three five paragraphs in she finally got to 'current situation' and gently caress that
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Apr 4, 2018 17:03
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- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
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Pick a number, any number
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Pillbug
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This is exactly how she experiences intimacy. Like, yeah they experience it differently and it may clash with his, they should talk about it, fair. But your interpetation of giving her reaction a negative and objectifying angle is a weird loving comment.
I was just phrasing how he may feel about the situation if it's every time. Obviously the solution is communicate.
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Apr 4, 2018 17:08
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- Coohoolin
- Aug 5, 2012
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Oor Coohoolie.
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My boyfriend was totally out of line and disrespectful to be jealous of my coworker inviting me to share a hotel room despite my insistence that it's innocent. I was totally justified to flip out over my boyfriend using terms of endearment for his female friends despite his insistence that it's innocent.
I mean I can believe this Kyle dude just making an offer to a coworker that might be absolutely normal in that specific industry but goddamm try, like, a MOMENT of introspection before tanking your relationship.
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Apr 4, 2018 17:16
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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Oh, okay.
I tend to tune out a bit whenever Pick, Maskenfruit et al get on a shitposting roll.
"maskenfruit" is a homophobic slur
but im more offended at being lumped in w/ pick
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Apr 4, 2018 17:17
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Imagine tanking your five year relationship because you were secretly in love with an eighth-tier YouTube personality who died falling off the top of a McDonald’s PlayPlace
That would be a step up for me
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Apr 4, 2018 17:21
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- Caganer
- Feb 15, 2018
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Doctors or psychologists: please please help me (20F) my roommate (21f) has lost her mind
quote:
Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit to post in but I’m not sure where else to post.
I need a doctor or psychologist’s advice about my (20f) roommate (21f) because she has lost her mind and I don’t know what to do about it.
It started on Sunday night. We both got back to school after 10 days of spring break. When she came home she went to my room and started complaining about her break and family and rugby team. For about 2 hours until I finally said I needed to go to bed. I didn’t think much about it because she seemed stressed but figured she just needed to get back in the routine of school and she’d be fine.
On Monday she also came in my room complaining about stuff and I heard her on the phone with her family yelling at them multiple times throughout the day. She was upset because her dad threw away one of her notebooks. I just kind of kept my distance because I didn’t want to deal with it.
Well yesterday is when things got weird. I went into the kitchen to make dinner and she came in and was pacing and fidgeting and finally said “I need to tell you something” and I said okay. And she started saying she has a problem and she realizes she has a problem so she went to talk to someone Monday (a therapist). And I thought that was great because she has depression and anxiety and cuts herself and would never go see a professional. But then she kept talking and wasn’t making any sense. She would start a sentence and then just kind of stumble off and not finish it. Or say random words and look at me and say “you know what I mean”. I couldn’t tell what she was trying to say at all, she wasn’t making any sense.
One example of a sentence she said was “I... when I freak out.. I don’t know. I like things... I don’t know... you know what I mean?” And then looked at me expectantly like I was supposed to respond and tell her I knew what she meant?
This went on the rest of the night. I bought her dinner and made her tea and turned on a movie for her to try to get her to calm down. She seemed okay after the movie so I went to bed.
Well then at 2:30am she barged in my room and turned on the light and was like “I figured it out!!” And started accusing me of talking to her family behind her back to conspire with them to make her go crazy and hit rock bottom. She, again, wasn’t making any sense or completing sentences. Somehow she was saying I was lying about my relationship issues with my bf, lying about going to therapy myself, lying about talking to her boyfriend. And just kept saying “I figured it out. You think I’m crazy but I figured it out” From what I could understand, she seems to think everyone in her life has been talking to eachother behind her back conspiring together to try to make her go crazy. This went on from 2:30am-6am. I had to take her car keys away because she tried driving (in the snow) an hour to her boyfriends house to accuse him.
I have literally no idea what to do. She has actually lost her mind. I want to bring her to the hospital but I don’t think she would agree and she would have to go willingly.
Please help.
I don't think I knew anyone in undergrad who didn't have to get a housemate institutionalized at some point and this was back in the day. Don't they go over the procedure in orientation in our modern woke colleges?
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Apr 4, 2018 17:21
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- maskenfreiheit
- Dec 30, 2004
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.
maskenfreiheit fucked around with this message at 21:45 on Apr 28, 2019
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Apr 4, 2018 17:23
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- DACK FAYDEN
- Feb 25, 2013
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Bear Witness
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Not posting with both your alts one post after another would be a great first step in improving your situation.
so 3/4 posts in a row and it was A-B-A accounts
that's dedication
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Apr 4, 2018 17:41
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- Who What Now
- Sep 10, 2006
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by Azathoth
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"maskenfruit" is a homophobic slur
but im more offended at being lumped in w/ pick
Agreed, thats a very serious insult to Pick
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Apr 4, 2018 18:13
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- But Rocks Hurt Head
- Jun 30, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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Pillbug
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The maskengimmick of couching offensive opinions in super woke language and claiming the moral high ground was actually pretty funny, imo
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Apr 4, 2018 18:14
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- Patrick Spens
- Jul 21, 2006
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"Every quarterback says they've got guts, But how many have actually seen 'em?"
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Pillbug
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My (21m) girlfriend (21f) of one year has a massive, YouTube worthy meltdown when her parents didn’t buy her the right car for her birthday. I really like her but is this a “run away” red flag?
quote:
To set the stage, we are students at a University in California. We met in a class about a year ago and immediately hit it off and have had a great relationship for just about the same amount of time. I really like her, in fact maybe even have stronger feelings than that and was really hoping this relationship could go places. One thing that is very different about us is that she comes from a wickedly wealthy family, her dad is in finance back on the East Coast and they have an incredible amount of money, in fact more money than I thought real people even had. So because of this she can act spoiled at times, but for the most part it’s not too bad. I’m not sure I’ll ever get get used to calling a car service vs an Uber or picking up a bar tab for a dozen friends on her Dads Amex but to her it’s just ordinary life.
Last weekend I went to her hometown on Long Island for her birthday. I was expecting her parents to be really hoigty but they were incredibly down to earth and very welcoming to a kid who grew up in Yuma. I’d never been in a house like that and it was nicer than any building I’d ever been in and it was literally on a private beach.
So the party came and it was incredible and a blast. The time for presents came and my girlfriends Dad ushered everyone out to the driveway where there was a brand new SUV with a bow on it. The house keeper even had these huge novelty scissors to cut the bow.
My girlfriend had a meltdown. I mean like she was 2 years old, someone made her eat her peas meltdown. She was screaming about it wasn’t the right brand, it wasn’t the right model, it even wasn’t the right color. Then she started screaming that she couldn’t drive that piece of poo poo across the country back to California and that it would just sit here and rest because she didn’t give a gently caress anymore. I was in shock I mean mouth on the floor never seen anything like it in my life shock. My parents are super strict but my dad would’ve literally slap me in the face Even at 21 if I would’ve ever spoken to him like that. I was petrified that someone was filming it and it would end up on YouTube because it was that cringe worthy.
For her parents, they didn’t even really react. like I said I would’ve gotten a world of hurt from my parents if I would’ve done that but her parents are kind of like “ there there it’ll be OK will get you the car you want don’t worry about it” type thing. I was in shock at their reaction as much as I was in shock at my girlfriends meltdown. She basically told them to gently caress off and she stormed off and ran upstairs and lock yourself in her room for the rest of the night. well her party guess sort of mingled around and chatted and then slowly made their exit. I didn’t see her again until Sunday morning. It was very cool because her younger brother took me into the city to see Manhattan because I’ve never been before so at least I wasn’t totally stuck With nothing to do.
The next morning she didn’t speak to her parents and a car service came and picked us up and took us to the airport. Basically the whole way there she was complaining about what idiots her parents were and how they didn’t appreciate her or even know her. I didn’t know what to say honestly because I was still in shock so I just kind of did the same thing that her parents did and kind of did the like “there there it’ll be OK, it’ll be OK” type thing that a parent would do a spoiled kid. When she finally quieted down on the plane I thought I was really stupid because I figure this is how she’s gotten away with everything her entire life. When we got back to California I went to my apartment, she went to hers and while we’ve texted we both have been busy and I haven’t seen her
My question is this, now that I’ve given you a snapshot of one incident, which is probably the worst incident I’ve ever had with her is there any hope for this relationship? Or am I getting myself in a situation that I will never be able to get out of and I just frankly can’t handle?
Tl;dr: my girlfriend had an epic meltdown when her parents didn’t buy her the right car for her birthday. I really like but do I just not ignore the signs and run away?
Gifts are acts of aggression.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:25
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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If you have money of your own, its a huge unbelievable I cant loving imagine how thick you need to be red flag.
If you dont, marry her right now and do a 5 year stint with her to get parolled with her assets.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:27
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- chitoryu12
- Apr 24, 2014
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“My girlfriend is literally 2 years old. Is this a problem?”
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Apr 4, 2018 18:28
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- A Wizard of Goatse
- Dec 14, 2014
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My Super Sweet 16+5
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Apr 4, 2018 18:30
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- Bored
- Jul 26, 2007
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Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.
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My BF [25M] has an ambiguous friendship with his ex and another friend, I [29F] asked to see his messages and found that he calls them nicknames.
How are you nearly 30 years old and acting like this?! Goddamn!
These people are exhausting. I hope they stay together so that nobody else has to deal with their dramatic asses.
(My roommate is like this.)
Edit:
I owe Blade Runner another clue to track down my hot roommate.
She takes a lot if selfies. She is making duckface in many of these selfies.
Bored fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Apr 4, 2018
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Apr 4, 2018 18:30
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- Halser
- Aug 24, 2016
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I ain't buying that story.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:33
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Man, another post that seems just like a little too on-the-nose to me
like, if you asked me what the most common hint in popular culture was that your boyfriend is cheating on you, I'd say "you find a hair that is the wrong color", and if you asked me what the most immature spoiled possible thing someone could do was, I'd say "throw a tantrum because their parents bought them the wrong brand-new car"
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Apr 4, 2018 18:34
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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These people are exhausting. I hope they stay together so that nobody else has to deal with their dramatic asses.
(My roommate is like this.)
Jesus Christ bring around someone like that is a job
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Apr 4, 2018 18:37
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- But Rocks Hurt Head
- Jun 30, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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Pillbug
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If you have money of your own, its a huge unbelievable I cant loving imagine how thick you need to be red flag.
If you dont, marry her right now and do a 5 year stint with her to get parolled with her assets.
He says he's from Yuma, so there's a good chance he's working class and Hispanic.
What I'm saying is he has a proletarian duty to hold on until her trust fund kicks in and then really give her something to melt down about.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:40
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- Baronjutter
- Dec 31, 2007
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"Tiny Trains"
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Doctors or psychologists: please please help me (20F) my roommate (21f) has lost her mind
I don't think I knew anyone in undergrad who didn't have to get a housemate institutionalized at some point and this was back in the day. Don't they go over the procedure in orientation in our modern woke colleges?
It's pretty sad to see people at that age when mental illness strikes. For a lot of these people it's game over, their brain has broke and even if they do everything right and take all their medication their lives are going to forever be hosed up as they struggle with this, or more likely they'll be too crazy to get the help they need and end up living a short terrible life as they alienate everyone around them, do increasingly desperate things for money, then end up on the street/dead. Knew a few totally normal happy people in high school whose brains totally shorted out. One dude was totally chill, had a great family and friends no drugs or abuse or serious academic stresses and right after graduation he started getting into conspiracy stuff a little. That's fine man, 9/11 happened, lot of conspiracy poo poo going on. But he just got worse and worse and into biblical poo poo. Within a couple years he was a crazy dirty street person running up to you to rant about how he's christ and the end times are coming and we all need to take drugs to experience the rapture. Few years later he had an overdose and died.
Knew a girl since elementary school, totally fine normal person with a fine normal family. Something snapped in her brain though and she started accusing everyone in her family and social circle of conspiring against her. Desperate family tried to do everything to help but she was old enough to just run away instead. Ended up with some fellow street teen runaways and dead a couple years later, again from an overdose.
There were others too, they're all either dead or in and out of institutions. Mental illness is terrifying.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:40
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- The_end
- May 17, 2014
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Doctors or psychologists: please please help me (20F) my roommate (21f) has lost her mind
I don't think I knew anyone in undergrad who didn't have to get a housemate institutionalized at some point and this was back in the day. Don't they go over the procedure in orientation in our modern woke colleges?
Sounds like Schizophrenia to me.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:44
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Genuine mental illness is super sad. It is.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:44
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- The_end
- May 17, 2014
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Genuine mental illness is super sad. It is.
I agree.
Schizophrenia tends to hit when people are in late teens early 20s.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:47
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- Leon Einstein
- Feb 6, 2012
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I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.
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Faux mental illness is also sad, that scene in Ace Ventura does not hold up.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:55
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- tactlessbastard
- Feb 4, 2001
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Godspeed, post
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Fun Shoe
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I've got a cousin that's always been kind of a wierdo. He got odder and odder as he got older. I always assumed the anime, MLP and 4chan were ruining him but he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia so now he's annoying and a burden.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:56
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- loquacius
- Oct 21, 2008
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Faux mental illness is also sad, that scene in Ace Ventura does not hold up.
I feel like Me, Myself, and Irene is a little more relevant here
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Apr 4, 2018 18:58
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- Jeza
- Feb 13, 2011
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The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
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I agree.
Schizophrenia tends to hit when people are in late teens early 20s.
For men, but for women it's far more often past 25 so this would be a slight outlier, but the whole conspiracy angle is like super common in schizophrenia. Some variety of delusional disorder for sure anyway.
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Apr 4, 2018 18:58
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- Pick
- Jul 19, 2009
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Nap Ghost
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Faux mental illness is also sad, that scene in Ace Ventura does not hold up.
an Extremely Transphobic Post
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Apr 4, 2018 18:58
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 31, 2024 00:57
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- girl pants
- Sep 21, 2006
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I feel a great disturbance in my pants
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Ace Ventura viewed through modern eyes is just one solid 
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Apr 4, 2018 18:58
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Apr 4, 2018 15:38
Cat Army 
