/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Ferret King: Nov 23, 2003; cluck cluck

Leon Einstein posted:

Yeah, this woman really doesn't get that her being in a FWB situation isn't the same as her having a boyfriend.

Well she arrived at the right conclusion anyway. Seemed to handle it pretty well. If he's not going to tell her what happened in bed that triggered him, then she's doing the right thing by not sleeping with him again. I wouldn't want to make myself an accomplice to trauma either.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 00:19

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 21:12

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

Paul Zuvella posted:

I like it because there is the added layer where she apparently does not understand what a roommate is.

The friend wants him to be there every morning to drive her around all day.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 00:32

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

andrew smash posted:

My[31/F] Husband[30/M] Argues Like a Troll

Your husband is bad but you, also, sound like a loving trash idiot

# ? Apr 13, 2018 00:32

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

the only way two people with radically different political views or opinions on poo poo get together is if they are both actually very stupid

# ? Apr 13, 2018 00:44

emptyspace: Oct 21, 2008

fruit on the bottom posted:

Me [26/M] and my wife [25/F] living in apartment complex - new neighbors [20s-30s/M&F] smoking weed. What should we do?

Welcome to apartment life. Maybe try minding your own god damned business, and not lying to your landlord? I�m sure the neighbors aren�t too happy about your squawking bird or loud parties, but they aren�t complaining out loud. .

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:07

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

I got written up because my coworker saw maxi pads in my car

quote:

One of my coworkers complained because she saw a package of maxi pads in the backseat of my car when she parked near me in our parking lot. I had stopped at the store on the way into work, and they were in a bag along with shampoo and toothpaste. I got a write-up for it by HR and my boss told me not to do it again and keep them private. I was actually shocked when I was spoken to about it. I want to know if I should push back on this and say anything and how I should do it? I would be curious to hear your thoughts.

quote:

Make a briefcase out of opened pads, containing a laptop made of pads, a pen made of tampons, and a legal pad made of pads. Ostentatiously pretend to take notes on the pad pad all day.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:27

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

La Brea Carpet posted:

I got written up because my coworker saw maxi pads in my car

What. The. gently caress.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:29

dudeness: Mar 5, 2010; Cat Army; Fallen Rib

Maybe she works for a Diva Cup manufacturer?

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:31

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Holy poo poo. That's a "shut your trap, get written proof, and sue like mad" situation if I ever heard one.

E: also what kind of a oval office reports someone for feminine hygiene products when they are also a woman and also have a period? What the gently caress. Infuriating if real.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:32

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

La Brea Carpet posted:

I got written up because my coworker saw maxi pads in my car

I really refuse to believe this is true. There is like no way.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:33

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

La Brea Carpet posted:

Make a briefcase out of opened pads, containing a laptop made of pads, a pen made of tampons, and a legal pad made of pads. Ostentatiously pretend to take notes on the pad pad all day.

this will be the greatest thing since the p-p-p-powerbook

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:35

30 Goddamned Dicks: Sep 8, 2010; I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.; Fun Shoe

Scathach posted:

Holy poo poo. That's a "shut your trap, get written proof, and sue like mad" situation if I ever heard one.

E: also what kind of a oval office reports someone for feminine hygiene products when they are also a woman and also have a period? What the gently caress. Infuriating if real.

In the comments, Ask A Manager said they had emailed back and forth with the OP and it turns out that the woman who saw the maxi pads is a trans woman, and the thought is that HR is going overboard with the "protected class" stuff.

Still wayyyy the gently caress lovely.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:43

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

30 Goddamned Dicks posted:

In the comments, Ask A Manager said they had emailed back and forth with the OP and it turns out that the woman who saw the maxi pads is a trans woman, and the thought is that HR is going overboard with the "protected class" stuff.

Still wayyyy the gently caress lovely.

What kind of mental gymnastics do you have to jump through to come to the conclusion that that is offensive.

My co-worker has a picture of her children on her desk, and as an infertile person I am extremely offended. Furthermore

Maxi-pad is gonna make maxi-bank with the lawyers, she shoukd leave them out all the time and get fired first because that's a dumbass company yo work for.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 01:54

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

[24/m] My mom [54/f] is upset that I don't want her boyfriend [50/m] at my wedding this summer. Should I invite him to avoid conflict or stand my ground? (self.relationship_advice)

quote:

My mom and her boyfriend live together and have been in a relationship for about 4 years. My fiancee and I have been dating for the same time and are going to be getting married this summer. Since we don't have a lot of money and we are funding this mostly ourselves, we will be having a small wedding at our courthouse followed by a reception at our house/backyard.

My mom and her boyfriend have never been on good terms and are in an especially heated conflict currently. This happened because of the last time I went to visit my Mom and her boyfriend for Christmas. I was spending Christmas Eve with my Dad's family nearby and had planned on coming back to my Mom's house to wake up Christmas morning with her to celebrate before heading home (about 6 hours away). When I am headed back to Mom's house I receive a call from her at around 10PM saying that her boyfriend and her got into an argument and he kicked her out of the car at an abandoned truckstop at 8PM about 30 minutes away from her home. She was expecting him to come back and pick her up but he never did. When she tries to call a ride she realizes her phone had died. Because of this she has to spend the next 2 hours knocking door to door convincing people she is not crazy and that she needs to borrow their phone. When she finally finds one, she calls me to pick her up as I am heading back to her boyfriend's house (where she lives).

I pick her up and we head back to her place. I knock on the door, obviously very angry at this point, and he is refusing to take any blame and starts calling me names and telling me to stay with my Dad. He does not allow us into the house and we're forced to both stay in my Mom's RV parked outside. This is where I had been staying anyways to get a little personal space while visiting them. When my Mom and I get into the RV he cuts off the power and we have to spend the remainder of the night with no warmth and no lights (He has also done this to me before for much more petty reasons).

Fast-forward to Christmas morning and I try to have a conversation with him to hear his side of the story but it doesn't make any sense and he starts calling me names again. My patience is up at this point and I unleash the fury that has been building inside me by saying how my Mom deserves so much better than him (among other more vulgar things). He retaliates by saying that I am never welcome in his house again. I wish him farewell and bid him a good life, and head back to the RV to spend Christmas morning with her. I head back home the same afternoon since I have no place to shower or conveniently use the restroom.

This is the last time I saw both of them. He has not tried to apologize for his actions. My mom and I are still on good terms and she is helping me plan my wedding for this summer and she even offered to help pay for some things. Yesterday I told her I do not want him at my wedding because it would stress me out. She told me she is heartbroken and doesn't know if she feels like she can come without him. What can I do? Should I try to keep the peace or hold me ground?

TLDR: My mom doesn't want to come to my wedding without her boyfriend, who is a huge rear end in a top hat and said I'm never welcome into his house again (where my Mom lives).

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:00

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Caganer posted:

[24/m] My mom [54/f] is upset that I don't want her boyfriend [50/m] at my wedding this summer. Should I invite him to avoid conflict or stand my ground? (self.relationship_advice)

Invite him to your wedding and kill him there

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:02

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

At that point I'd fill my car with tampons, pads, and as many other feminine hygiene products as I could find.

I once had a boss get ultra paranoid and decide to have all his employees (at the time only me and one other woman) submit to purse checks and car checks whenever he deemed necessary. I got the largest rainbow dildo I could find and kept it in my purse till I found a new job.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:03

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Blade Runner posted:

Invite him to your wedding and kill him there

i think they should have kicked in the front door, it's her legal residence and he doesn't have a right to lock her mom out. let him hulk out and leave a mark then call the cops (or just stand your ground and shoot the bastard)

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:04

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

I [17m] think that I am in an abusive relationship with [17f] my �girlfriend�. Please help

quote:

I recently transferred to a new school, and coincidentally, so did another person. She and I hit it off pretty well and we became pretty good friends. 2 months pass and we are hanging out when she confesses that she has a crush on me. I am absolutely ecstatic about it as I have never had a confession nor a relationship ship. I said I had mutual interest in her and a relationship all together. I was absolutely happy and was feeling ultra fuzzy for the rest of the day.

The beginning of the relationship was really neat, I got my first kiss and we went on movie dates or went and got a bite to eat somewhere or just chilled somewhere. It was fantastic. About a month in I began to notice something though. She wanted to do less and less physically and just wanted to talk about deep stuff over text and stuff like problems that were bothering her. At first I thought it was my jon as a boyfriend to comfort her and help her solve her problems, but I realized that she didn�t necessarily need a boyfriend but more someone she can vent and console her problems with. I have absolutely no problem with that at all, and was actually kinda happy she trusted me.

About a week or so from then we went out to get some dinner, and I brought it up. She exploded. She was yelling things from threats of self harm like �IF YOU LEFT ME I WOULD ACTUALLY HARM MYSELF, YOURE THE ONLY REASON I DONT CUT MYSELF� to �IF YOU LEFT ME I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE�. I was absolutely flabbergasted, and I realized that I made the wrong assumption. I apologized and said I�d stay with her, because I love her. I took her home and realized I had messed up horribly.

I became really stressed out, worrying that anything I do would set her off and she would do something to herself, which absolutely frightened me. She demanded that I text her every night, no social media, and that I dont talk to anyone she doesn�t approve. I then realized I was stuck in a stereotypical girl relationship. I didnt know who to turn to, I was genuinely afraid for her health, but being with her wasnt healthy for me. I was and am stuck

2 days ago, we went on a dinner date kinda thing, and it actually was pretty enjoyable. We finished up and headed to my car. Out of nowhere, she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her in her car. I�ll be completely honest, as a high school boy I absolutely dreamed of getting to that state with her. But, I knew this early in the relationship as teenagers isn�t really a good thing. I said I absolutely would love to, but we or I am not mature enough for you. I expected maybe a sense of relief but instead I felt her slug me as hard as she could. She was crying, and said that I didn�t love her, that I thought she was ugly, that I thought she was useless. I was still reeling from her hitting me, the physical pain wasnt much, but the very fact she hit me was one of the most painful things mentally. In the middle of her spouting her insecurities at me, I started crying. I felt absolutely pathetic, like I was literal trash. She stopped and stared at me and started calling me a pathetic dude since I wouldn�t have sex with her and that I was then crying. I dropped her off and went into my room. I thought about ending it all, but in my fit I fell asleep.

We have been �dating� for the past 4 months

I have never felt so trapped and insecure in my entire life, I want her wellbeing so I don�t have her life as my responsibility but I want out because this makes me feel horrible. I just want help, please tell me what to do and who to turn to.

Please help me

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:16

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

Caganer posted:

I [17m] think that I am in an abusive relationship with [17f] my �girlfriend�. Please help

Break up with her you loving idiot

If she threatens to kill herself call the police

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:20

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Blade Runner posted:

Break up with her you loving idiot

If she threatens to kill herself call the police

wtf? no! don't swat her!

call her mom or CPS, don't call the loving cops, they'll say her phone is a gun

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:32

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Blade Runner posted:

Break up with her you loving idiot

If she threatens to kill herself call the police

Or smash her in the car

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:32

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Caganer posted:

wtf? no! don't swat her!

call her mom or CPS, don't call the loving cops, they'll say her phone is a gun

She�s just a teenager she doesn�t know what she�s doing. That�s why you call the professionals.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:34

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

Pick posted:

*transformers movie scene where dude pulls out license for underage pussy*

007 keeps getting weirder and weirder...

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:34

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Shinjobi posted:

007 keeps getting weirder and weirder...

License to Savile

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:37

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Shinjobi posted:

007 keeps getting weirder and weirder...

that's a real scene in the.... 3rd? movie

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:38

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

fruit on the bottom posted:

She�s just a teenager she doesn�t know what she�s doing. That�s why you call the professionals.

Honestly call / tell her mom first and then call 911 to get her sectioned if the mom does nothing. Getting sectioned can apparently mess with your career, or so I've heard. I know in some US states you're not allowed to own a gun or something.

Please don't start gun chat, goons.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:39

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Pick posted:

that's a real scene in the.... 3rd? movie

Fourth. It was the one with Marky Mark and the dinosaurs rawr

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:39

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

Pick posted:

that's a real scene in the.... 3rd? movie

fourth transformers movie (age of extinction), didn't watch it but know that's the one where someone has the specific statute of the romeo and juliet law in his wallet to defend dating someone

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:41

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

Hemingway To Go! posted:

fourth transformers movie (age of extinction), didn't watch it but know that's the one where someone has the specific statute of the romeo and juliet law in his wallet to defend dating someone

fun fact: that was not scripted, he just carries that in his wallet and pulled it out to incorporate into the scene

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:47

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

value-brand cereal posted:

Honestly call / tell her mom first and then call 911 to get her sectioned if the mom does nothing. Getting sectioned can apparently mess with your career, or so I've heard. I know in some US states you're not allowed to own a gun or something.

Please don't start gun chat, goons.

Under federal law, you�re not allowed to own a gun if you�ve had a stay in a mental hospital or been legally judged to have particular mental illnesses.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:52

La Brea Carpet: Nov 22, 2007; I have no mouth and I must post

My boyfriend (24M) of almost 3 years told me he's been thinking about sleeping with someone else..I (22f) maybe think I should let him.

quote:

TLDR at the bottom. This is long, I'm sorry.

This is on mobile and I'm flustered so please excuse any formatting/grammatical errors. As the title says, my 24 boyfriend and I (22) have been dating for almost 3 years now. We have our ups and downs but overall, I think we are meant for each other. I don't doubt his love for me, and we both have many long term plans with each other such as moving to a different country together, getting married, etc. We plan to get engaged within the next year or so after the big move. So basically we really want to stay with each other.

The problem comes when days ago, he tells me he wants to be honest with me: He's been thinking about what it would be like to have sex with someone else. It's been bothering him and he thinks he just wants to do it and get it out of his system. A bit of background: my boyfriend was a virgin before me. We have 0 problems in the bedroom. So I believe this mostly comes from wanting to know how another girl would "feel" like. I completely understand where he's coming from and I believe it's an understandable curiosity. I was pretty experienced before him, and I think if the roles were reversed, I would wonder too probably, but wouldn't act on it.

My initial reaction though was, game over. I don't think I can continue this relationship because I will forever be paranoid. He's thinking about this now 3 years into the relationship and I plan on marrying him, 20 years down the line what if it comes up again? And what if he's actually tempted to cheat next time? He keeps saying he could never cheat on me. He tells me this is different because he wants to stay with me so bad, which is why he was honest and brought it up in the first place, so we can work it out.

Because I now know his desire to sleep with someone else, I'm worried that one day the curiosity will just be too much for him and he will act on it. As I said before I understand where this curiosity comes from and I want our relationship to survive. So I'm thinking maybe I should let him have a one-time "Hall Pass" to get the experience that he wants, so his curiosities can be put to rest.

Is it completely stupid and naive of me to do this? So many people break up and cheat these days I think relationships and monogamy is very hard. But like I said we are perfect for each other in every way and I want to believe this problem is fixable. Should we just continue as normal? He should not act on this and forget about it because we're in a relationship and I should get over my paranoia? I know there are many people who have gone through something similar in which their partner was a virgin and they're curious about gaining more sexual experience with someone else. Is this something that can be worked out and how is the best way to work it out? Won't it come up again 20 years down the line if something isn't done? I don't think this is a feeling he can just push aside or forget about. Do you?

Thanks for any advice in advance.

TLDR My virgin-before-me boyfriend wants to know what it's like to sleep with someone else, understandably. We are in love, we are happy, and we don't have any problems in the bedroom, he's just curious. I'm considering saying yes so this relationship will survive it because I believe this isn't a feeling that he can push aside or forget about

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:53

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

no, not understandably. kick his rear end. every vagina feels the same anyway. my finger is sensitive and it can tell subtle differences in things, and they're all basically like those weird water weenie things.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:54

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend (24M) of almost 3 years told me he's been thinking about sleeping with someone else..I (22f) maybe think I should let him.

drat, she sounds like a good woman. That takes alot of self sacrifice.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:55

Blade Runner: Aug 14, 2015

La Brea Carpet posted:

My boyfriend (24M) of almost 3 years told me he's been thinking about sleeping with someone else..I (22f) maybe think I should let him.

Your relationship is over regardless

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:56

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

Meh, if he wants to know, he's going to do it anyway. Sounds like he doesn't appreciate her and probably has poor impulse control.

She is just opening the door to let him so she can show that she loves him. Sad thing is, he probably wouldn't do the same.

We're pretty much just knuckle dragging chimps.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 02:58

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Blade Runner posted:

Your relationship is over regardless

Yep, take the upper hand and dump his rear end.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 03:00

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

Pick posted:

no, not understandably. kick his rear end. every vagina feels the same anyway. my finger is sensitive and it can tell subtle differences in things, and they're all basically like those weird water weenie things.

But some water weenies ~*sparkle*~.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 03:00

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

tactlessbastard posted:

Yep, take the upper hand and dump his rear end.

he's a loving idiot.

# ? Apr 13, 2018 03:00

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

Pick posted:

no, not understandably. kick his rear end. every vagina feels the same anyway. my finger is sensitive and it can tell subtle differences in things, and they're all basically like those weird water weenie things.

False, but dump that loser anyway

# ? Apr 13, 2018 03:02

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 21:12

Skutter: Apr 8, 2007; Well you can fuck that sky high!

I [27F] am pregnant, husband [28M] wants me to stop doing lots of stuff

quote:

First of all, we are in couples counseling. This is an issue I do not know will be addressed soon, so here we are. So there is some stuff I had no issue doing like not eating mangos to please his superstitious family. But by now we had a multi-day fight on me not cycling and he is starting to hint at eliminating about everything I do. Basically quitting all exercise except for walking and yoga. Even gardening! Even jogging a single mile at a 4mile/hour pace! I'm sure if I put on heels today it would be an issue too.

Oh, and not eating tomatoes and carrots after I explained to him about avoiding Vitamin A overdose.

Anyway, I was highly active before pregnancy, I've been busy with nutrition since my teens and in short, science is on my side.

Today he even said he would rather follow "folk wisdom", which prompted this post.

The issue is, I don't want to keep up health behaviors against his opinion, I want HIM to be supportive of what I do!

There's no good solution right now, either I listen and am sad, or I keep up what I've been doing and miss out on support. I suspect a lot of this is him hearing too much bogus from his family versus my opinion on what I'm doing. Quantity of voices overpowering my reasoning. No matter if I explain the medical stuff, the logic, show scientific papers, he will "cave in and let me" continue, but he never comes to my side. I understand it comes from a good place, wanting me and baby to be healthy, but he is making me miserable.

TL;DR feeling unsupported in pregnancy because husband disagrees about exercise, food, ...

E: The husband doesn't have a job, they live with his parents, the parents tell the couple what they don't want the pregnant wife to do and then the couple decides together whether or not they will listen to what the parents say. That's their compromise. He's also already threatened divorce.

Skutter fucked around with this message at 03:16 on Apr 13, 2018

# ? Apr 13, 2018 03:13

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