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La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
[relationship] My (39 wife (38) accused of sexual relationship by daughter (14)

quote:

My wife has been accused of having a sexual relationship with a student(18). She didn't teach the student. She was a substitute until she got fired. Apparently my oldest child(14) told her aunt that my wife had told her about a sexual relationship she was having with the student. My brother in-law contacted the school. The school contacted me and interviewed my daughter. I believe my daughter is telling the truth.

I have known that she has been seeing someone sexually. We agreed to an open marriage. I was unaware that it was a high schooler. I don't know why she told her about the relationship. I am concerned for my daughter's mental health and the mental health of my children.

I have been in the process of separating from my wife. I thought the open marriage would let her sow her wild oats. Instead she has told me that she is no longer attracted to me, only married me because others encouraged her to, and a host of other things that I cannot bear. Up to this point she has refused to sign anything and negotiating has been difficult. I was willing to do a sort of shared custody, but now I feel I need to have full custody.

tl;dr Wife tells daughter about sexual relationship she has with student. Daughter tells aunt and makes its way to police

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Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

[relationship] My (39 wife (38) accused of sexual relationship by daughter (14)

This is the Magnum Opus of all Cucks.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe
Well, she sowed the poo poo out of those oats

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

tactlessbastard posted:

Well, she sowed the poo poo out of those oats

Lol, that got me man.

La Brea Carpet
Nov 22, 2007

I have no mouth and I must post
My[36 M] wife [31 F] of 4 years, always complains about doing too much work.

quote:

We just had a child, but this has been going on for the past couple of years.

First of all my wife is great but this really really bothers me.

She currently is working 8 hours per week part time as she stays home and cares for our son. She is an awesome mom and is raising our son wonderfully! I work full-time. I get home around 6:30pm and take over child care duties 4/5 days. (I work out once a week after work).

My wife is always complaining that she is tired from taking care of our son, doing the dishes (baby bottles are a pain), cooking, cleaning, etc. I know these are tough tasks. Before I can say, man it's awesome, thank you, and dinner smells great, she tells me what a tough day she had.

I ALWAYS offer to do what I can. I tell her to leave the bottles for me, I can do them when I get home from work. I tell her to go out for a bit and relax as I take over parenting duties (she takes me up on it on rare occasions). I tell her to stay up in the room and relax while I play with our son in the living room. She usually does not take me up on my offer.

I will not say that the job duties are split 50/50, she does way more work at home than I do. I clean the bathroom, make the bed, take our garbage, and other small things.

The only thing is, I can do other things, like wash bottles, watch our son while she goes out, clean up our bedroom, ect.... but she never lets me and makes sure everything is completed before I get home. Yes, that is awesome! More time for me to relax, play with our son, work, watch tv, and whatever else I want to do. But all my wife does is complain that she is so busy and doing so much work. She says that she is tired and doesn't have time to relax. I tell her to relax, I tell her to do whatever she wants. I tell her to take it a little easy during the day and I'll help out when I get home from work at night. She does not listen.

Before the child when we were newlyweds, whenever people would ask, "How's the married life?" she would always say, "I'm so busy, everything is so hard being married and working."

Now with a kid, "How's life with a little one?" She says "You know it's so busy and hard having a kid, cooking and cleaning all the time."

At times she would also lie about how much work she does. When asked "How often do you cook?" She would say 5 times a week. The correct answer is twice a week on average (we have leftovers the day after and eat out about 3 times a week)

I feel like this makes me come off like an rear end, like I'm some old school demanding husband.

First, I always tell her don't worry about cooking if you're having a busy day. I'm always cool with ordering in or warming up some frozen pizza. I always tell her, I can do the dishes when I get back home from work, I can pick up food on my way home, I can clean up our room, whatever needs to be completed. Most of the time, I am met with a negative answer. I do not like that she always says she is so busy (which is true) when I offer her plenty of opportunities to get away from doing some of her most demanding chores. This is true before and after our child. I am just getting frustrated that she feels that she is doing a lot (which she is) when she could be doing a lot less.

When we were newlyweds and I would be asked "How's the married life?" My answer would always be "It's great or it's fun"

With a new born I would be asked "How's life with a kid?" I would always say "He's a joy and I have a ton of fun, my wife does the hard stuff."

I am having trouble with the fact that she gives negative responses to our friends and family and that she always complains about how much work she does and how busy and tired she is.

Am I crazy? What can I do to help the situation? How can I take some stuff off of her plate?

tldr: My wife does a lot of work, I try to take stuff off of her plate, she doesn't let me do so. She tells me, my friends, and our family how busy she always is and it makes me feel like an rear end.

Get down off the cross someone else needs the wood.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

La Brea Carpet posted:

[relationship] My (39 wife (38) accused of sexual relationship by daughter (14)

woah

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul

I like how he mentions wanting full custody. I think he’s got it locked down

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


Terrible roommate story incoming:

My [24M] roommate's [23M] new weird shower habits

quote:

Hey guys not sure if this is the right place to post this but I've been having issues with a new roommate recently. Hes lived with us about 4 months but new habits have started to arise. Recently, this new roommates we will call Dave, started taking longer and longer showers. I'm talk from 10-15 mins to now 20-35 mins in the last month or so. I dont mind, but our water bill has gone up a bit. Like I said, not really a big deal. Until he told me he used to be a chronic masturbator. (Idk why he told me this, I didnt ask. He just blurted it out one day)

Now I have those concerns. Couple that with his new girl friend who now comes over to exclusively shower? Idk if I understand their relationship, but she comes over around 9 every night, they talk, and then both hop in the shower for 20-40 mins, and then she leaves about 2 am. So now hes taking at least 2 or 3 showers a day (Idk, I'm not home much with work, should note hes an unemployed college student) and the other lovely part is that my room is on the other side of the shower, so I can hear everything....yay!

Im not sure how to even begin to approach him about this. I grew up with 3 sisters and was usually the last one to shower in the mornings so got good at being fast (5 mins avg) so I dont understand why someone really ever needs more than 20+ mins in the shower. Nor why they need two or more a day when they aren't being very active. For a guy who's always bitching about the environment its sure seems extremely hypocritical of him to waste that much water a day.

Our current plan was to split the bill between the 3 of us but this is becoming excessive, and the fact hes just bringing a girl over to bang in the shower seems...well dumb cause shower sex is, well its more work than its worth in my opinion. She's been coming over for a week straight and I'm ready for this to not be a full time thing. I'm going to say something today. But without the financial aspect to back it off, I'm sure he will shrug it off.

Im not trying to nitpick but these dont always happen at the most convient times either. He will spend about another 20 mins in the bathroom afterwards, and on most mornings, a 50 min bathroom sesh is detrimental to my morning work routine

How can I communicate to him that he needs to have sex other places than the shower? Or even just take shorter showers in general? How do I handle this knowing I have to live with him for several more months?

Just one last side note, he has yet to clean the shower since. Like at least if you're gonna be banging in the shower every night, have the common courtesy to maybe lay down some cleaner or poo poo. Honestly, I'd settle for him either stopping shower sex or having his girl contribute to our water bill.

TL;DR
My roommates takes at least two 30min long showers a day in a state where water consumption is very costly. He now brings a girl over specifically to shower with her, but expects our utilities to be split evenly. I can't expect support from my other roommates (who's the landlord) because hes so non confrontational. Am I losing my mind about this? Do you guys think I'm going over the top or am I reasonable to be fed up with a guy who's screwing with my morning routines by being in our bathroom for nearly 2 hours a day?

quote:

The issue is I've brought this up before. When he first moved in, he wanted his girlfriend at the time (now ex to move in with us). He complains a lot about being broke which I find funny because he quit his job and sells his adderall prescriptions that his parents buy him for beer money. I won't even get into the fact that he's making these deals and selling prescription drugs in our front yard. But when it comes to financial stuff hes very sensitive but he's such a crazy spender. He probably spends $100 a week just on eating out a buying beer

quote:

Lol, I actually got food poisoning the other day and had to go outside in the 30° weather to puke because he was in the bathroom for over an hour. To be fair I get home at 7pm and I usually here him use the bathroom at least 10 times before midnight. I'm amazed at how much he lives in therr

quote:

It's also not cool that he takes food and alcohol of mine that dont belong to him. I found out after a party we had that he gave my fifth of rum to a girl he was hitting on at the time. I was at the party, and the rum was for my buddies wedding the next weekend. He never asked, never mentioned it, and it wasn't until four days later he brought it up after I found the empty bottle in his room.

Ps, I only looked because my other roommate said him and girl were taking shots of it that night.

He also recently took my roommates poker set without asking, broke the case and lost some cards and chips. Never asked. Just went into his room and took it. Never mentioned to him either that he broke it and lost some stuff.

I really have issues with how this kid behaves. I dont know if his parents didn't know how to properly raise a child or what, but his behavior is appalling.

quote:

He also brags about being a vegan but eats meet several times a week. I'm talking like brags to girls too, like they actually give a poo poo. This is the vegan all other vegans hate

quote:

The water bill went up 50% and our electricity bill for the water heater has moved up 20% since he moved in, relative to the last two roommates avg. I'm saying that if you couple this with the fact that he's now taking an extra shower a day just to bang his gf for 30 mins that our bills gonna start going up even more. I did mention this has been going on now for 7 days straight., specifically since the day he introduced us to her.
Edit. Just for reference, we went from using 2-3 kgals a month to now using between 5-7


Finally someone asks the obvious question:

quote:

Why the gently caress did you let him move in

quote:

Lol I didn't the landlord did. I never got the chance to give my approval.

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost
Wife a ho? Yep. Full custody.

Emasculated you in front of your kid? Yep. Full Custody.

Telling you that you're a terrible lover? Yep. Full Custody.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

Salty Josh posted:

Wife a ho? Yep. Full custody.

Emasculated you in front of your kid? Yep. Full Custody.

Telling you that you're a terrible lover? Yep. Full Custody.

Probably my favorite track off of Ludacris’ album Red Light District Court

andrew smash
Jun 26, 2006

smooth soul
Honestly I preferred the anthem Pimpin All Over the Study Hall

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

La Brea Carpet posted:

A mother trying to control her son's... Alone time.





I told my math teacher about my mother, and she got arrested.


Sometimes reddit.......is good?

Sorry, HEALED BURNS? WHAT BURNS? When did drugs come into this religious experience??

What in the living hell weirdo cult is that??

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Midnight Voyager posted:

Sorry, HEALED BURNS? WHAT BURNS? When did drugs come into this religious experience??

What in the living hell weirdo cult is that??

mariuana cigarette burns

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Skutter posted:

I [27F] am pregnant, husband [28M] wants me to stop doing lots of stuff


E: The husband doesn't have a job, they live with his parents, the parents tell the couple what they don't want the pregnant wife to do and then the couple decides together whether or not they will listen to what the parents say. That's their compromise. He's also already threatened divorce.

Well, her first mistake was getting impregnated by this absolute winner...

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
Search term: 'warcraft'

I [23/F] don't know whether my SO of two year's [24/M] appearance-related "preferences" cross the line.

quote:

I'm looking for a little unbiased advice and am hoping this might be the place to get it. Throughout our relationship, my SO has always been very detailed and specific in expressing his preferences regarding my appearance. I guess I'm fairly defensive when it comes to appearance-related criticism and I don't know if I'm just too sensitive and need to compromise or if his requests are a bit excessive.

SO has made a number of sort of cutting, backhanded compliment type comments over the years. Along the lines of "Your lady parts aren't my usual type, but because it's you I can handle it." I've talked to him about it and he doesn't seem to have a good explanation for this behavior, but agreed to try to stop.

My privates are the most frequent subject of contention. He has stated that he prefers "smooth, tight vaginas with minimal wrinkling" which apparently doesn't describe mine. There's very little I can do about that, so his comment naturally made me feel a bit self-conscious, especially regarding future intimacy. I also don't completely shave down there, which he absolutely hates. I have extremely sensitive skin, in general, and I find that shaving or waxing especially intimate areas just isn't tolerable. I've seen other posts where women described similar issues, so it can't be all that uncommon. SO is entitled to his preference, of course, but having to hear his complaints every other day just gets really old. He even researched laser hair removal, which I had to explain that I just cannot afford at this time.

SO also complains about the length of my hair. It is about shoulder length, which I find to be flattering and easy to style. SO wishes it was much longer and has pointed out that I wore my hair very long when I was a young teenager. I attempted to explain that people change their hairstyles and that I no longer like wearing my hair very long or have time in the mornings to style a mass of thick, bum-length hair. His response was: "It doesn't even have to be very long- just long enough to cover your nipples."

I'm at my wit's end trying to accommodate his preferences and I am beginning to wonder whether we are simply incompatible and I might be better off ending things.

tl;dr: How much should you reasonably be expected to change about your appearance to please a partner?

EDIT: Wow, I'm blown away by how much attention this has gotten! I'm adding a couple of pieces of information here that lots of people have asked about. Yes, SO is very into porn and has been from a very young age. The only other actual relationships he has had were when he was 14 and 16, respectively, so he doesn't have a lot of experience with adult women's vaginas/labia/pubic hair, etc. in real life.

BUCKLE UP, BUCKAROOS!

UPDATE: I [23/F] don't know whether my SO [24/M] of two year's appearance-related "preferences" cross the line.

quote:

Putting this up top because the post might get lengthy: tl;dr: My boyfriend continually insulted my lady parts. I tried to talk to him, but he just made excuses and blamed his behavior on me, so I broke up with him.

This morning I decided to sit my boyfriend down and explain how hurtful his comments had been. He became very defensive and stated that the labia comment was meant as a compliment. Furthermore, he expressed that he thinks I'm far too sensitive, lack self confidence, and that nobody else would be bothered by his "negging". From the responses friends have given me when I've mentioned this (and from the comments on my previous post), I really don't think that's true. Constantly picking apart your significant other's appearance is the abnormal behavior.

His reaction really drove home for me how selfish and insensitive the dude is. I could name numerous situations during the course of the relationship where he played the martyr, disregarding my needs and feelings entirely.

Cases in point (All entirely true- sadly): * He managed to break a sex toy (that he had purchased and that I hadn't even wanted to use) so forcefully that it cut me "down there". I got to go to urgent care bleeding from the vajayjay and he texted me saying how much it "sucked that he hadn't gotten off".

*He demanded to use my laptop to play video games while on vacation, caught the charger cord with his foot while he flailed around playing World of Warcraft, and smashed it to the ground. He had a fit when I asked him to pay for the repairs and went home 10 days early (without me).

*He wore threadbare gym shorts to my grandfather's funeral and watched porn on his phone during the service.

Point being, the guy's a selfish, disrespectful jerk. I put up with it for far too long and I'm just done. Nobody's significant other should make them feel as crummy as he did me. I hope that he is able to change his behavior and find happiness in a relationship in the future. As for me, I will take my "lady garden" somewhere that it will be appreciated in future. Thanks to all who commented. Your kind advice helped me see what I needed to do.

I suggest a new thread title: r/relationships: the labia comment was meant as a compliment.

Krabboss
Nov 11, 2016

MY HUSBAND'S PARSE IS BETTER THAN YOURS
Probably most people on the planet shouldn't be in a relationship, due to significant brain problems.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.
You just need the right kind of brain problems for someone else.

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!



Theophany posted:


BUCKLE UP, BUCKAROOS!


Jesus loving Christ.

Darkhold
Feb 19, 2011

No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅
My wife has been reading some advice column called Captain Awkward. She passed this on to me

quote:

I’ve found myself in a really drat sticky situation. I’m polyamorous. I just recently told my partner, we’ve been together for 18 months this June, we’re engaged, and we have a kid together. (For anonymity, I’ll be referring to my partner as Darin and our son as Ash.) I love Darin, and I love our son, before they came along, I didn’t know that kind of love was possible. I want to grow old with them. But I’ve recently figured out I’m polyamorous, and I told Darin, and he had said, ‘If you wanna go out with other people you do realise that we’d break up, right?’ And obviously, that’s the last thing that I want. But I feel really strongly that if I don’t explore my polyamoury, I’m doing myself a disservice. I feel like some part of me is saying, ‘You have to do this, if you don’t, you’re killing yourself.’ And there’s this guy, who I’ll refer to as Fireball, who I like and who likes me, and I did our natal chart for compatibility and we’re basically made for each other, unlike me and Darin’s which was 3/4 negativity and challenge.

My question is really, I feel like I need to do something about my polyamoury, like if I don’t, I feel like my Soul is dying, but my partner isn’t cool with it, and I have no idea what to do.

Thanks,
–I Don’t Want to be a B*tch to My Fiancé
Worth clicking on for the can we agree this is bullshit line.

Gotta love the old refrain of 'discovered I was poly just as I found a guy I wanted to gently caress'

Darkhold fucked around with this message at 10:21 on Apr 13, 2018

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

Darkhold posted:

My wife has been reading some advice column called Captain Awkward. She passed this on to me
Worth clicking on for the can we agree this is bullshit line.

Gotta love the old refrain of 'discovered I was poly just as I found a guy I wanted to gently caress'

Do people like that woman end up old and alone because everybody in their lives gets sick of their poo poo? Or do they manage to find equally stupid people to continually enable their lovely life decisions and denial of any kind of personal responsibility?

CheesyDog
Jul 4, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Theophany posted:

Do people like that woman end up old and alone because everybody in their lives gets sick of their poo poo? Or do they manage to find equally stupid people to continually enable their lovely life decisions and denial of any kind of personal responsibility?

I know someone who has fallen in with some sort of late-40s+ group of divorced men and women and it is an endless circle of highschool-level drama, only with McMansions and stepchildren involved. They'll be posting angry Facebook statuses and getting into drunken arguments at Jimmy Buffett concerts about who slept with who until the day they die.

datajugend
Jan 15, 2010

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:

Theophany posted:

Search term: 'warcraft'

I [23/F] don't know whether my SO of two year's [24/M] appearance-related "preferences" cross the line.


BUCKLE UP, BUCKAROOS!

UPDATE: I [23/F] don't know whether my SO [24/M] of two year's appearance-related "preferences" cross the line.


I suggest a new thread title: r/relationships: the labia comment was meant as a compliment.

he needs to be told he is a gross weirdo gently caress by every one he knows

e: intervention style, from the kid he talked to for a day when he was 4 to his great grandpa from beyond, "you are a disgusting human and nobody respects you"

datajugend fucked around with this message at 11:08 on Apr 13, 2018

Metis of the Chat Thread
Aug 1, 2014


"if i don't gently caress this man named fireball my Soul will die"

COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

quote:

He managed to break a sex toy (that he had purchased and that I hadn't even wanted to use) so forcefully that it cut me "down there". I got to go to urgent care bleeding from the vajayjay and he texted me saying how much it "sucked that he hadn't gotten off".

*He demanded to use my laptop to play video games while on vacation, caught the charger cord with his foot while he flailed around playing World of Warcraft, and smashed it to the ground. He had a fit when I asked him to pay for the repairs and went home 10 days early (without me).

*He wore threadbare gym shorts to my grandfather's funeral and watched porn on his phone during the service.

:catstare:

30 Goddamned Dicks
Sep 8, 2010

I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.
Fun Shoe

Darkhold posted:

My wife has been reading some advice column called Captain Awkward.

Captain Awkward is loving amazing, firstly because some of the people who write in have crazy trainwrecks of a life and secondly because she gives some goddamned amazing advice.

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
[25M] how do I ask out a sandwich artist?

quote:

I've been going to the same Subway for lunch every work day for the past 5 months or so, and I've gotten to know a girl there who I'd like to ask out. The only time I can get in is during the lunch rush and would rather not ask her out with 20 people staring at us.

Is there a way to discreetly ask her out?

tl;dr: How do I ask out a sandwich artist during the lunch rush?

I'm not sure what I like the most in this short, yet amazingly punchy post. Is it the use of 'sandwich artist' for a Subway employee? Is it the fact that this dipshit doesn't grok that service workers are paid to be nice to customers? Or maybe it's the way the question is posed, suggesting that there is a special procedure for asking a 'sandwich artist' on a date that only those in the know are privy to.

Asking out a sandwich artist: *In Ron Swanson voice*: I worry that what you heard was 'I want a lot of ranch dressing.' What I said was 'give me all the ranch dressing you have.'

Theophany
Jul 22, 2014

SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO



2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC
I went looking for ranch dressing stories and stumbled across this doozie.

Me (31m) my wife (31f) dresses up for her ex but not me.

quote:

So, I'll start with this, we have been married for almost 11 years. We have a great marriage for the most part, we get along great, we have fun together, have 3 great kids we are finally getting where we want to be in life. Not to say there hasn't been some rough spots though. Early on in our marriage, I was working 2 jobs, 1 at night the other during the day around 1 year in, my wife had an affair with her ex-fiance. It started online and turned physical. She would meet up with him when she would go to her family's ranch on the weekends with the kids. I eventually suspected something and was able to see messages on Facebook sent back and fourth and pics she sent him on her phone. Most were nude pics, and various sexual images. Quite a few, were just her dressed really nice and wearing clothes that made her look really sexy (not just the mom look, which can be hot) clearly an effort to get "doll'd" up. Yadda,yadda, yadda. It ends, we work through it, 2 yrs go by Im working normal hours, I make sure we get regular date nights. I notice she is being very protective of her phone, computer, tablet. She insists everything thing is fine, nothing is going on, she understands why I'm worried. Couple weeks go by, she is working out more, buying sexyer(spelling?) clothes, find her up in the middle of the night on her phone, still insists I'm just being insecure, I ask to see her phone and am yelled at for not trusting her, etc etc etc. So I get on to her Facebook, and her devices and of course we know what I find, dirty pictures obscene messages, and more just casual hot pictures taken throughout her day, showing of her new skirts, showing of how good she looks in her new jeans, and a boat load of I love you, and miss yous'. This was with her ex-fiance again. So yadda, yadda, yadda. They end it, it was only emotional, never physical. So we work through it again, about another 2-3 yrs go by. We're better than ever. Awesome sex life, still going on regular dates, I'm making sure she has time to go out with her friends and have a social life, we have weekends with just us. One of my buddies wife, tells me that I should check out my wife Instagram, as there is someone making "vulgar" comments on it, like he knows her. So, check it out, and it's mostly older pics of my wife when we were first dating, and through some hard work I find out that the commenter is her ex....again... I ask her about it and was wondering if she knew what he was saying (i am very tech Davy, just had never used histogram) she said she was trying to get him to stop, and just ended up shutting it down. And went into lockdown on her phone, I never see it, never here it. I check out, my backup work computer as, her school laptop was basically a worthless pile of crap, she frequently would use my slightly less crappy laptop. I find hundreds of pics, all clean, just suggestive. Check out her email, lots of daily correspondences, quite a few emails of him telling her what he wants her to wear in the pics, and what she should pick out at the store, what she looks best in. I also find quite a few pics of them together when they were dating, and her commenting how much she loves the pics. So now I confront, which I know, I should have done first. She lost her phone, and can't find it. It's eventually found, and I find nothing, factory reset. Fuming, I check Facebook and find a conversation of her asking for a copy of the sex tape they made when they were dating and she thinks about it all the time, and a conversation that is just vile ensues. So this was basically an atom bomb, I stayed as calm as possible and somehow we work through it.

Now, it's been several years, things are awesome, the ex has tried to fire things up again several times and she tells me right away, and shows me emails when they come in from him (completely voluntary and her idea). She has blocked his number and blocked home on social media. Sex life is insanely great, we are the best we have ever been. However, she dresses very plain Jane, when we go out, it's jeans and a t-shirt. She doesn't dress up at all, I have asked her a few times if she would, where a dress, or a skirt. Her response is usually, "why would I dress up for you?" When we go shopping, I ask her if she likes anything that is traditionally "girly". I've told her to go out with some of her GFs and go shopping, thinking she would be more comfortable trying stuff on with them, but no. She just seems to have stopped putting in an effort to look good. Now, that's not to say I'm a prized pig myself. I batted way out of my league, like 80s teen movie out of my league. As soon as I started getting the dad body, I changed my diet and made an effort to stay in shape, as she I know she wants me to.

So Reddit, how do I get my wife to put in a little more effort in dressing sexy/hot.

TL;DR: my wife has had a habit of dressing sexy or putting effort into her appearance when she is fooling around with her ex. But says she can't se why she would for me. Live her to death, but would like to to be girly every now and then.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

quote:

Her response is usually, "why would I dress up for you?"

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


Just ask her out whispering and watch her politely reject you with a hint of disgust in the corner of her mouth, problem solved.

hanales
Nov 3, 2013
/r/relationships: I am very tech Davy.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post
Fun Shoe

Theophany posted:

Do people like that woman end up old and alone because everybody in their lives gets sick of their poo poo? Or do they manage to find equally stupid people to continually enable their lovely life decisions and denial of any kind of personal responsibility?

Look into your heart.


quote:

* He wore threadbare gym shorts to my grandfather's funeral and watched porn on his phone during the service. 

Oh yeah! That guy. I bet her family is just devastated she dumped him.

Palpek
Dec 27, 2008


Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.


quote:

It ends, we work through it

quote:

So we work through it again,

quote:

I stayed as calm as possible and somehow we work through it.
I'm glad they sent a poet.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.

hanales posted:

/r/relationships: I am very tech Davy.

just had never used histogram

Darkhold
Feb 19, 2011

No Heart❤️
No Soul👻
No Service🙅

Theophany posted:

I went looking for ranch dressing stories and stumbled across this doozie.

Me (31m) my wife (31f) dresses up for her ex but not me.
I keep burning my hand on this stove over and over. I keep touching it. How do I make it dress up more sexy for me?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Theophany posted:

I went looking for ranch dressing stories and stumbled across this doozie.

Me (31m) my wife (31f) dresses up for her ex but not me.

Dude should just go dick some hot 18 year old

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

La Brea Carpet posted:

[relationship] My (39 wife (38) accused of sexual relationship by daughter (14)

How exactly do "I never really loved you and only married you because my friends said it was a good idea" and "no, I won't sign anything to help this divorce go forward, I refuse" coexist in the same brain

I mean I guess it is the brain of a high school substitute teacher who got fired because she told her daughter she was banging a student

loquacius
Oct 21, 2008

Darkhold posted:

I keep burning my hand on this stove over and over. I keep touching it. How do I make it dress up more sexy for me?

look I don't care if my wife is still sending sexy pictures to her ex, as long as she starts sending them to me too. The important thing here is whether I get eye candy.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Me [28F] with my boyfriend [34 M] of 3 months, mind boggling situation

quote:

Me and my boyfriend met about half a year ago and became a thing shortly after. Things have been great between us, he's been very caring and attentive. I never before felt so comfortable and "natural" around a person.

He is in the military which is where the story picks up around two weeks ago. He told me he'd be gone for a couple months with his unit. Which I knew would happen at some point and then I'd have to get used to it happening again and again. Which is OK. We don't live together, it is a bit of a distance involved and I've been commuting back and forth.

I didn't get to see him the day he left. Before that he told me we'd stay in touch and that he will miss me. We talked from early morning until late afternoon that day then he cut off his phone mid conversation. Thats how its been ever since. Phone dead, email dead. Which again I could've dealt with better if he had just told me hey I'll be offline for an indefinite time.

Some 24 hrs after I texted one of his friends, closer friends being he's a regular at the house. Let's call him A. Basically just to ask hey is this normal. Apparently yes it is normal according to A. I calmed down a bit and left A alone.

The day after, another friend of his, let's call him B, texts me. We talk casually then B asks me how the "court hearing" went on the day my boyfriend was supposed to leave. I'm entirely dumbfolded because I didn't know about any court hearing. I ask B who had told him about the court hearing. B says that A told him when they saw each other on the day in question, but didnt inform him of the outcome.

I hit up A again and ask what the deal is with the court hearing. Literally can sense panic out of his responses. He doesn't want to tell me anything and eventually goes ahead and says he was not in town that day, hasn't talked to anyone and doesn't know anything.

Bonus: my boyfriend apparently also told B that he was leaving two days before the alleged court date, to an entirely different destination than the destination he told me.

I don't know where my boyfriend is or what really happened that day. I don't want to be "that girl" and call the unit and make a huge fuss and hurt his career. I don't think they'd tell me anything anyway. But I've been sitting here getting panic attacks. All this seems so entirely out of character for my boyfriend who has been nothing but awesome to me.

What should I do?

tl;dr: my boyfriend who is in the military disappeared from the surface of the earth under confusing circumstances. I don't know whats the right thing to do right now.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
My [22f] housemates [23f, 23m] are very offended by our other housemates [23m, 22f] and myself playing music with the ‘n’ word in it and it has escalated.

quote:

Using my throwaway for this.

To start off with, we live in London, England, which is a very multicultural place, and most people who live here love that there is a lot of diversity, particularly young people. We have a student house with five tenants, none of us knew each other before we moved in in November, we found each other through a Facebook group and had all had our original housing situation fall through.

Four of us tend to get along: myself, the second pair of housemates I mentioned, let’s call them ‘Adam’ and ‘Becky’ (both of whom are white), and the guy from the first pair, ‘Carl’ (who is black). The fifth housemate, ‘Debbie’ (who is also black) considers herself an activist, which is fine, but she is the sort of person who seems to pick a fight with everything even if it isn’t offensive to anyone other than herself.

For example, I am mixed race, my mum is 1/4 Japanese, 3/4 white American, my dad is 1/4 Lebanese, 1/4 Turkish and 1/2 white English. We all look very white passing, I have grey eyes and light brown hair. I really love cooking international dishes, especially Middle Eastern and Japanese food, because I’ve grown up with both parents wanting to make sure I appreciate my heratige, and ‘Debbie’ has at many points made comments about it being cultural appropriation for me to cook these dishes when I’m white passing, and that I’m exploiting the cultures by doing my shopping at the UK version of Walmart rather than going to a middle eastern or Asian food store. It just seemed odd and a bit rude to begin with, but when I do a big meal I tend to invite the whole house and we have dinner together, but ‘Debbie’ rejects the invitation. That’s fine, it’s her life. Eventually she requested that I stop cooking these dishes, or if I did, to cook them outside of our house. I flat out refused and she’s been weird with me since, just unfriendly. ‘Carl’ also started declining invitations to my cooked meals so now the three of us who get along eat together.

Another example is that ‘Becky’ is dating a Malaysian guy who is an international student, and has very good English, but sometimes he pronounces words in an unusual way and Becky subtly corrects him. Debbie called her out for doing this, saying it was rude and humiliating, and it clearly upset Becky, and her boyfriend explained that he had asked Becky to do so, and didn’t mind her saying so in front of other people because otherwise she’d forget to tell him later, and he’s trying to improve his English pronounciation in preparation for job interviews. We later found out that Debbie had told other people that Becky was a racist who was fetishising her boyfriend for his skin colour and trying to demean him by picking on his English. This was really out of order but we managed to calm her down against confronting Debbie.

This easter Holliday, the drama has been music with the n word. I went home to the midlands for a couple of weeks and have returned to find our house divided based upon the sound system in the living room. We only have one communal area, a living room/dining room/kitchen/ patio space. It’s quite large and is used by all, as our rooms are quite small. I do my yoga in there, most of us use it as a chill out space as there are several big sofa chairs etc. Usually whoever is in the kitchen will have the music on while cooking or just have music on in the background.

Recently, a song by Chris Brown and Lil Dicky topped the charts, the song is about the white rapper swapping buddies by accident with Chris Brown, and one of the lines is ‘Wonder if I can say the n-word (wait for real?) Wait, can I really say the n-word?’ And then he goes on to use the n word in a variety of ways in the next few lines of the song. Debbie finds this very offensive because in the context of the song, although Chris Brown is singing, it’s the character of a white rapper. To clarify, she listens to a lot of music with the n word in it. She’s requested that Becky doesn’t use the communal sound system (that was purchased by Becky, myself and Carl when we first moved in) to play any songs with the n word at all. This would be a double standard as she maintains that she is allowed to play the songs, just not us, because we aren’t black.

She claims that she feels victimised and threatened by us playing the exact same songs that she plays, and that it’s a racist act of aggression for us to do so. She’s gone as far as to say that white members of our household should not play music in our own rooms because it can be heard outside because of thin walls (which is true) and has been knocking on Adam and Becky’s doors or the bathroom door when they’re in the shower if she can hear Drake playing, and this morning she banged on the bathroom door while I was in the shower because I had Drake song on. It wasn’t even one with the n word in it.

Becky tends to take the brunt of Debbie’s passive aggressive behaviour and has had enough and blankly refuses to abide by this rule. Carl had taken Debbie’s side saying that if it bothers black members of the household it should be respected, Adam and Becky argue that it isn’t their place to censor white members of the house from doing something that they think is acceptable for them as black members of the house to do (and continue to do) when it is literally just listening to popular music, and I think this is ridiculous to be arguing about. I suggested that everyone could wear headphones as a compromise but this is stupid, because there’s no real problem other than Debbie being offended and wanting a double standard. As has been pointed out, headphones mean that you can’t have a conversation with someone while cooking with music on in the background, and you can’t wear headphones in the shower.

Debbie has started to post on a ‘people of colour’ Facebook group at that I’m part of, that her racist housemates are trying to intimidate her by aggressively blasting music that makes her uncomfortable due to use of the n word. Commenters in the group are egging her on to contact our departments about the behaviour and file a police report (I doubt this would be successful). But also to take video recordings of disagreements as evidence, which makes me feel uncomfortable, because I don’t want us to be recorded in my own home when she’s having fights with us and have that portrayed on social media in whatever way she sees fit, which I think she may do because she’s very into ‘calling people out’. Just to reiterate, she isn’t offended by the music, she too listens to Drake, Cardi B, Kendrick Lamar etc ... she just doesn’t like us listening to it.

I’m asking for help because we have all just gotten an official warning letter from our letting agent telling us that they’ve been informed of hostile behaviour by a group of housemates directed to another housemate and that they will take this seriously.

I don’t know how to resolve the tension in my house but also stop this escalating any further.

tl;dr: the two black members of our household don’t want the other three of us to listen to music with the n word in it in our house at all. One of us in particular is fed up with being picked on by the main person pushing this idea. We have all been warned by our letting agent that they’ve been informed of a complaint. I’m fairly neutral in the argument at this point, having avoided much of the tension while home for the holidays, but I don’t know how to deescalate/resolve.

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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Ex is a sexual predator selling sex videos without females consent. How do I stop this ?

quote:


This happened recently and I read on the news that this scumbag (32m) had actually taken videos of him engaging in sexual acts with many girls. He had decided to showcase his collection on a pornhub account and try to sell the videos while also attempting to charge money to give ‘lessons’ on how to pick up girls. While initially the reports mentioned that he was taking the videos secretly, it may be that the girls were aware that he was taking a video. However, THE GIRLS DID NOT CONSENT TO HIM sharing the videos and selling them. This is illegal but yet as of now nothing has been done against him.

He is selling the videos because he’s recently bankrupt from gambling and is desperate for some money. He is a person with no morals. I would like to do something about it but what can I do? Do I inform all his friends on social media who had no idea this is happening about it to stay away from him?

Tl;dr ex is selling his stash of sex videos without girls’ consent in a desperate attempt to get money. How do I stop this?

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