Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

also i feel like there should just be a generic "history" thread but i'm usually wrong about such things

# ? May 1, 2018 14:19

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# ? May 13, 2024 10:23

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

bewbies posted:

also i feel like there should just be a generic "history" thread but i'm usually wrong about such things

There was previously an amazing "What, this really happened?" history thread but it got goldmined and I don't think there was ever a replacement.

# ? May 1, 2018 14:39

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Randarkman posted:

The policies pursued that led to hyper-inflation also weren't as obvious as just printing lots of money (remember that Germany was still on the gold standard). If I remember correctly one of the primary drivers was that the German government resolved to continue paying the factory workers in the occupied Ruhr, who weren't going to work, full or even inflated wages, and that this helped drive inflation out of control.

Inflation was already out of control, though. The strike happened because the French had occupied the Ruhr. They occupied the Ruhr because the Germans had defaulted on coal and timber payments, and the French were taking coal and timber payments because Germany couldn't afford to buy hard currency anymore, because inflation was out of control.

# ? May 1, 2018 14:40

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Phanatic posted:

There was previously an amazing "What, this really happened?" history thread but it got goldmined and I don't think there was ever a replacement.

Yeah it was a good one. Should be worth trying another now.

# ? May 1, 2018 14:48

bewbies: Sep 23, 2003; Fun Shoe

close this thread so all the Good Posters go over to that one pls

# ? May 1, 2018 14:49

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Woah woah, lets not go nuts.

# ? May 1, 2018 14:49

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

iirc that thread was really good until it got taken over by clueless posters barging into the thread and raving about that loving Polish bear again and again

In PYF there�s also a �favourite historical fun fact� with plenty of cool posts; it�s been somewhat dormant for the last couple months though

# ? May 1, 2018 14:53

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

System Metternich posted:

iirc that thread was really good until it got taken over by clueless posters barging into the thread and raving about that loving Polish bear again and again

There was a Polish bear??

# ? May 1, 2018 15:31

Ensign Expendable: Nov 11, 2008; Lager beer is proof that god loves us; Pillbug

Polish Bear is my favourite brand of wax for my car

# ? May 1, 2018 15:45

aphid_licker: Jan 7, 2009

I hear this is the Polish bear thread?

# ? May 1, 2018 16:04

darthbob88: Oct 13, 2011; YOSPOS

No, this is the tank destroyer thread.

# ? May 1, 2018 16:32

Polikarpov: Jun 1, 2013; Keep it between the buoys

If we try hard and believe in ourselves (and First Lord of the Admiralty Jackie Fisher, PBUH) maybe this could become the Battlecruiser thread.

# ? May 1, 2018 17:04

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Pretty sure this is the Gay Black Hitler thread.

# ? May 1, 2018 17:20

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

i made a wrong turn, plz direct me to pike thread

# ? May 1, 2018 17:22

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Cythereal posted:

Pretty sure this is the Gay Black Hitler thread.

Puts a new spin on Polish bears I guess

# ? May 1, 2018 17:26

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

There's sort of one in PYF but the List Things Forum lacks academic rigor

# ? May 1, 2018 17:26

genola: Apr 7, 2011

A friend of mine is interested in reading a book or two about the Nuremberg Trials. Does anyone have any recommendations?

# ? May 1, 2018 17:31

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

Yeah guys.

# ? May 1, 2018 18:12

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

HEY GUNS posted:

i made a wrong turn, plz direct me to pike thread

go down past the cod and salmon and turn right at the perch thread

# ? May 1, 2018 18:13

ulmont: Sep 15, 2010; IF I EVER MISS VOTING IN AN ELECTION (EVEN AMERICAN IDOL) ,OR HAVE UNPAID PARKING TICKETS, PLEASE TAKE AWAY MY FRANCHISE

genola posted:

A friend of mine is interested in reading a book or two about the Nuremberg Trials. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Comedy answer: Speer's "Inside the Third Reich", but skip to page 507.

appears freely available here: https://archive.org/details/Inside_the_Third_Reich_Albert_Speer

ulmont fucked around with this message at 18:26 on May 1, 2018

# ? May 1, 2018 18:23

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

zoux posted:

Yeah guys.

How can she be waifu material if she is French?

# ? May 1, 2018 18:28

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Yvonmukluk posted:

I was reading a history of the 3rd Royal Tank Regiment in WW2, and it got me thinking. Looking at their record, they seem to have been involved in most of the major British battles/campaigns of the war in the west (except for the Italian front).

I'm sure they're not unique in this. Does anyone else have examples of units that manged to be involved in almost every major campaign/battle of a war?

Reminds me sort of the Royal Artillery Battle Honours/Motto which is simply: Everywhere in Latin.

# ? May 1, 2018 18:42

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

Yvonmukluk posted:

Does anyone else have examples of units that manged to be involved in almost every major campaign/battle of a war?

Gustavus Adolphus's Scots were with the Swedes from Poland to Wittstock, when they caught an Imperial cavalry attack on the corner of their formation and got pureed. That's from the 20s to 36.

# ? May 1, 2018 18:48

Tevery Best: Oct 11, 2013; Hewlo Furriend

Polish Chevaux-legers of the Guard were with Napoleon from Spain until Waterloo and beyond. I think a few officers even accompanied him to Saint Helena. 225 were definitely at his side during the first exile. Many had served with the Legions before, since Italy.

# ? May 1, 2018 19:06

StandardVC10: Feb 6, 2007; This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

Jobbo_Fett posted:

How can she be waifu material if she is French?

Anime finds a way.

# ? May 1, 2018 20:11

EggsAisle: Dec 17, 2013; I get it! You're, uh...

Are knuckle dusters/brass knuckles effective weapons? I've heard that WW1 soldiers sometimes carried them when raiding trenches, which surprised me a bit; I figured a sabre or something would be more effective, or a even a knife if space is tight.

# ? May 1, 2018 21:42

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

EggsAisle posted:

Are knuckle dusters/brass knuckles effective weapons? I've heard that WW1 soldiers sometimes carried them when raiding trenches, which surprised me a bit; I figured a sabre or something would be more effective, or a even a knife if space is tight.

too close for swords, they use a dagger roughly the size of a lefthander. it's either that or come up with some of the funkier italian fighting styles

# ? May 1, 2018 21:44

SeanBeansShako: Nov 20, 2009; Now the Drums beat up again,
For all true Soldier Gentlemen.

Tevery Best posted:

Polish Chevaux-legers of the Guard were with Napoleon from Spain until Waterloo and beyond. I think a few officers even accompanied him to Saint Helena. 225 were definitely at his side during the first exile. Many had served with the Legions before, since Italy.

Don't forget their officers taught that raised Danish Red Lancer regiment how to lance good too.

# ? May 1, 2018 21:46

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

HEY GUNS posted:

too close for swords, they use a dagger roughly the size of a lefthander. it's either that or come up with some of the funkier italian fighting styles

Were trench knives not a thing in WW1?

# ? May 1, 2018 21:49

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

zoux posted:

Were trench knives not a thing in WW1?

a trench knife is roughly the size of a lefthander, i think

# ? May 1, 2018 21:50

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

SeanBeansShako posted:

Don't forget their officers taught that raised Danish Red Lancer regiment how to lance good too.

hot take, nobody in the 19th c can lance good anymore

# ? May 1, 2018 21:50

P-Mack: Nov 10, 2007

Didn't Barthas have a story about the unit getting issued cutlasses and refusing to take them?

# ? May 1, 2018 21:51

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

EggsAisle posted:

Are knuckle dusters/brass knuckles effective weapons? I've heard that WW1 soldiers sometimes carried them when raiding trenches, which surprised me a bit; I figured a sabre or something would be more effective, or a even a knife if space is tight.

also the martial art that goes along with sabers needs some room to do it. lots of big swoopy or slashy movements.

# ? May 1, 2018 21:52

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Polikarpov posted:

If we try hard and believe in ourselves (and First Lord of the Admiralty Jackie Fisher, PBUH) maybe this could become the Battlecruiser thread.

That would be appropriate because Battlecruisers were literally the tank destroyer doctrine of the seas.

# ? May 1, 2018 21:58

zoux: Apr 28, 2006

HEY GUNS posted:

a trench knife is roughly the size of a lefthander, i think

Well I meant they had knuckle duster grips, I didn't know if they were a later invention apocryphally tied to the war

# ? May 1, 2018 22:20

Kafouille: Nov 5, 2004; Think Fast !

You're probably thinking of the US m1918 trench knife

As far as i know it's not terribly representative of what was used in the war by other nations, but it stuck as the image of 'trench knife'

# ? May 1, 2018 22:35

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

zoux posted:

Well I meant they had knuckle duster grips, I didn't know if they were a later invention apocryphally tied to the war

Nope, the Mk. 1 Trench Knife had a knuckle duster grip in 1918.

# ? May 1, 2018 22:35

Samuel Clemens: Oct 4, 2013; I think we should call the Avengers.

Is it true that Joan of Arc never killed anyone in direct combat?

# ? May 1, 2018 23:03

Trin Tragula: Apr 22, 2005

P-Mack posted:

Didn't Barthas have a story about the unit getting issued cutlasses and refusing to take them?

The translation is somewhat literal and it also uses the word "cutlass" to describe Gurkha kukri knives, but from ~25th September 1915:

quote:

They called the corporals to the company office.
�How many men in your squad?� asked the officer.
�Fourteen, chief.�
�Well, here, take these fourteen cutlasses; give one of them to each man.�
�These are arms for murderers, not for soldiers,� I exclaimed.
�It matters little to me,� said the officer, pushing me out the door, �and keep your opinions to yourself.�
No, I won�t keep these reflections to myself, and I�ll explain it to my comrades, the way it was clearly told elsewhere, that they were for finishing off the wounded and for killing prisoners.
�Well, my cutlass won�t be used for such crimes,� I told them, and right in front of everybody I tossed mine up onto the roof of an adjacent house.
Almost everyone got rid of theirs, and no one asked what happened to them. Only Sub-lieutenant Malvezy, in the 4th Section, our wild Tatar, took the biggest cutlass and carried it ostentatiously hooked to his belt.

Barthas's company was never called on to patrol No Man's Land or raid enemy trenches in the way that BEF units were expected to while up the line. The French had a different way of organising this sort of thing. He spent the second half of 1917 at La Harazee, just to the west of the notorious Argonne forest.

quote:

We stayed in this sector nearly six months. There was never any serious business here, no mine explosions or gas attacks. This tranquility was troubled only by some trench raids by one side or the other, which made more noise than they did any harm.
But what is a trench raid?
Any poilu knows about them. But how many civilians have an even approximate idea what they were? drat few, I�d say. Their ignorance is excusable, because all the accounts, official or unofficial, even those recounted or written by those who took part, have led them down the wrong path. They talk or write only things that shine light on the courage, the heroism, the disregard for death shown by the French soldier. They�re silent about anything that could diminish his glory, his beauty, his valor. One lies�or, if you will, one alters the truth for patriotic reasons, just as one kills, or one lies, �for reasons of state.�

First of all, it is generally thought that these trench raids were carried out by elite soldiers, who combined the virtues of a warrior with those of an exemplary citizen. That�s the first big error, with few exceptions. These �heroes� were hard cases, unruly, and often had police records which were far from unblemished. But, you might say, it�s surprising that rascals like these would be able to carry out actions requiring great sangfroid and solid courage. Hold on before deciding. These guys were picked for their weak points: they were obsessed with independence, so the straitjackets of their discipline were loosened a few notches. Drunk with liberty, they suffocated in the trenches, so they were pulled out and billeted at divisional depots in the rear, and came to the front lines only a few hours before the appointed time of the raid. At the depot, they were free to have fun, sing, brawl, make a racket, dine, quarrel, brawl among themselves. They were left alone. Relegated to separate barracks, they were treated as indulgently as others were treated severely. They were compensated, each time, with a few Croix de Guerre, which they were crazy about, and a four-or even eight-day leave for each one, if the group brought back just one prisoner�which was rare.

The day came for one of these adventurous excursions to visit Messieurs les Boches. The �volunteers� were brought up in automobiles or vans close to the trenches, and during the night they installed themselves right up at the forward posts from which they would move out. Passages through the barbed wire would have been cut in advance, just beyond the forward posts; this was generally done at the first glimmers of dawn�s light. The silence was suddenly broken by the distant firing of a large-caliber artillery piece. This was the signal. The echo wouldn�t have finished reverberating through the valleys and ravines before all the batteries of the sector and of neighboring sectors opened up a rolling fire on the point that was going to be attacked. At the same time, all the trench artillery�mortars, bomb throwers, 37mm cannon, �Stokes�10 guns, etc.�spit out iron and fire on the enemy�s forward posts, and beyond. And all this deafening racket was unleashed at one time, as if a single hand had fired a hundred cannon blasts at once.

The �volunteers,� piled up in a boyau, their stomachs well fortified with wine and hooch, threw themselves forward at the first cannon shot. The first ones out carried clusters of branches on their heads. Arriving at the Boche barbed wire, the first one tossed his branches and stepped aside; the second climbed onto the first cluster and threw his own ahead, and so forth until they reached the enemy�s forward post in two or three minutes. But while all this was going on, what were the Germans doing, under this deluge of iron falling upon them like an avalanche? They had a clever tactic. In their forward listening posts they left just two men, whose mission it was to fall back at the first cannon shot, not to the front lines�which were completely deserted�but to the second lines, organized for a solid resistance and which would have been too rash for us to attack.

These forward sentinels, if they hadn�t been blown to bits right at their posts, would fall into our hands only if they were wounded while falling back. Sometimes they disappeared into underground mines or saps linked up by galleries. Most of the time the raiding party ended up empty-handed. To the French general who waited impatiently at the colonel�s command post, the raiders brought back only a pick or spade with the handle broken off, or a tarpaulin or tent cloth picked up in the German trenches. Eyeing these meager trophies, the general would furrow his brow.
�And the prisoners?� he would say.
With admirable accord, everyone swore that the Boches simply wouldn�t surrender, and they were forced to kill every last one of them. Sometimes they actually succeeded in capturing one or two who were good enough to surrender. That was a real triumph. That meant four days or maybe a week of leave. Starting that very evening. The giddy general would distribute cigarettes, vintage wine, Croix de Guerre, etc.

One day, they brought back a prisoner. While the men of the raiding party crowded around the general who probed them about the perils of the raid, a junior officer [who had not been on the raid] approached the Boche, insulted him and threatened him with a clenched fist right in his face. A couple of the �volunteers� spotted this and shouted at the officer; they didn�t want him to touch their prisoner. �He�s ours,� they said. �You didn�t bring him in, did you?� And the dumbfounded prisoner found himself plied with cigarettes, coffee, wine, hooch, etc., right in front of the offending officer, who only could stand there in complete silence.

These raids had diverse results. Some had tragic outcomes, others were more like burlesques, bordering on the ridiculous. Sometimes it happened that the �volunteers,� completely drunk, would start arguing, get into brawls, and even wound each other, right in the boyau as they prepared to go over the top, or when they were out on their way to the attack. There were also mad panics, groups which wandered off and got lost in the tangles of barbed wire. The Boches would never know what happened, but our general would get a full and detailed account of the �successful� action. Finally the general, a bit skeptical, decided that the raids would take place in broad daylight. But this brought no better results, and so they went back to the predawn hours.

To be fair, it must be noted that, at least one time, the volunteers showed some real courage. Reaching the German trenches, they ran smack into an enemy raiding party which, by bizarre coincidence, was heading for our lines to grab some prisoners. A frightful hand-to-hand combat ensued, and our heroes emerged victorious, killing or chasing off their adversaries. That�s what the raids were all about, so fashionable at the time, and just who they were who carried them out. Some of the raiders were ragged, untidy, like scarecrows. Others were perfumed dandies with long hair, strutting around, indulging in wild bits of apparel for which they sacrificed all economy.

In February 1918 he encountered a company from another regiment which was commanded by an officer he used to know, and actually (hold onto your kepis, guys) respected.

quote:

On February 5 a company of the 248th Regiment was given orders to make an incursion into the German lines. We couldn�t just sit there twiddling our thumbs, and we had dispatches to feed. This company was the 15th, commanded by young Captain Guillot, who had acquired a well-deserved reputation for bravery.
...
Guillot�s company appeared to be the elite unit of the regiment. In fact, it was capable of carrying out difficult missions where others had failed. Why so? Were its men handpicked to be the bravest, the most devoted? No, there was no warrior quality which distinguished them from the masses of poilus. But they loved their young captain, who treated them all like comrades, who indulged them in their peccadilloes, who kept them out of whatever drudgery he could�work details, parades, drills, all those things that soldiers hate. He was no prouder of his medals and his stripes than the lowliest private was of the unadorned sleeves of his coat. When he was the first to leap over the parapet and dash toward the enemy lines, he didn�t need to look back to see if he was being followed. Not one man stayed back in the trench.

All morning long our big-caliber batteries, hidden in the woods, rained destructive fire on the German lines and their batteries, which kept silent. At noon the firing from our artillery redoubled in violence. The assault company, Guillot at its head, following the edges of the shell holes, reached the German forward listening posts in a few bounds. We saw men, bent double in the nearly filled-up boyaux, infiltrating toward the enemy�s second trench lines; then they were lost from our view.
They all came back, with not one killed or wounded, having scooped up twenty-five prisoners and five machine guns. The Germans had offered no resistance to speak of. Their subsequent artillery fire was very feeble. In the regiment there were only two victims: two rationers, inoffensive and peaceable, were utterly blown to bits while bringing up food for the squads.

This lucky trench raid cost us only two dead�for nothing.

"We had dispatches to feed."

Trin Tragula fucked around with this message at 23:16 on May 1, 2018

# ? May 1, 2018 23:10

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# ? May 13, 2024 10:23

ponzicar: Mar 17, 2008

Here's a great quote from Sniping in France by H. Hesketh-Prichard:

quote:

But not much was done in No Man's Land in day�light. Snipers lay out in it, and sentries watched it, and both sides sent a deal of lead across it, but when night fell, it became tenanted, and scouts and patrols crawled out into it�and sometimes never came back. The aim, of course, was always domination, and in order to gain domination many strange things were done. For instance, there was the " Silent Death," as it was called, invented by the Canadians, who, under cover of darkness, crawled out into No Man's Land every night, and lay there awaiting the advent of a German patrol. If such came, it was attacked hand to hand with trench daggers, and its members killed as silently as possible. This soon made the Germans very shy of taking their evening crawl, when so many of them who had gone over the top vanished into the darkness and were never heard of again.

At length the Germans almost gave up patrolling in that sector, and one of my officers who used to be in charge of a "Silent Death" party has often told me how dull and chilly were those long and weary waits in the frost or the rain, waiting for Huns who never came.

# ? May 2, 2018 00:00

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